Tumgik
#❀ / works
theriverbeyond · 2 months
Text
Ideal work schedule:
I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks
I complete the list
I leave immedietly
111K notes · View notes
epoxyconfetti · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
105K notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
@magitekconveyor
105K notes · View notes
wastehound-voof · 3 months
Text
Little old Italian lady: Do you have zucchini?
Me: Yes, right here.
Lady: Is how much?
Me: $2.99 a pound.
Lady: It's usually $1.49.
Me: Yes, in the summer.
Lady, pauses, then grabs two: I put it in a soup.
Me: Oh nice, what kind are you making?
Lady: You will not fantasize about my soup.
And then she walked away. "You will not fantasize about my soup" will be in my head forever. I love you, little old Italian lady.
126K notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Art by: Henry James Garrett
100K notes · View notes
stargoyle · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.
79K notes · View notes
bonesandthebees · 2 months
Text
one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method
67K notes · View notes
lotrmusical · 3 months
Text
never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱
66K notes · View notes
why is ao3 is blocked on the hospital wifi????
43K notes · View notes
diabloku · 3 months
Text
Lucifer: *enters the hotel*
Alastor: I cast vicious mockery 😈
An animation my sis and I made for fun
Music is Perception Check by Tom Cardy.
65K notes · View notes
nighthawkes · 4 months
Text
I must sleep. Sleep is the mind-healer. Sleep is the big-life that brings total ability to fucking do anything. I will face my bed. I will permit the blankie to pass over me and snores to pass through me. And when sleep has gone past I will turn the outer eye to greet the new morning. When the sleep has gone there will be everything. Energy and will to live will remain.
65K notes · View notes
anartificialsatellite · 4 months
Text
The older I get the more I admire people who are earnestly, genuinely into whatever their thing is. I know it sounds like an annoying cliche but unless you're being cruel or hurtful there is really no need to be normal about things. The dude with the bad fake accent at the renaissance faire is having the time of his life. The people having photoshoots with their fashion dolls are loving it. The old lady with a yard unreasonably full of tacky ass lawn ornaments is having a blast, HOA be damned.
Don't waste your time being too cool to have fun, y'know?
80K notes · View notes
sylvies-kablooie · 4 months
Text
i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.
65K notes · View notes
sadclowncentral · 19 days
Text
my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.
it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.
it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords
44K notes · View notes
apollos-boyfriend · 1 month
Text
i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.
45K notes · View notes
mamaangiwine · 5 months
Text
I don't think many people realize how much they've been turned into a bunch of casually cynical jerks.
Someone may come to their parents and say "I want to write a book" and their parents will say "it's really hard to get published".
Someone might confide in their sibling and say "I want to sell my art on "x" platform" and that sibling will say "do you know how many people you'd be competing with? Do you know how many shops are even on that platform?"
I know a kid who once told his best friend "I think I wanna start a dnd podcast" and the friend was like "do you know what the word "oversaturation" means?"
Personally, I don't know why any of that matters? And even if it did, perhaps your response should be "Do it! Do it and see where it goes!"
64K notes · View notes