#₊⊹⁀➴ 𝐌𝐑𝐋𝐗𝐘𝐒 ᥫ᭡

[mrlxys]

•°. *࿐ 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒

➣ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ! chris x chubby!fem!reader

➣ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ! swearing, angst, insecurities, lil steamy in the end

➣ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 ! its been a while i know

The weather was changing. Fall was coming and words could never explain how excited you were. Your eyes would sparkle and you would be jumping internally whenever someone mentioned it. You weren’t from Boston, so it was quite fun exploring places you haven’t been to with Chris before. He was at home, probably snuggled up on the couch with Dodger, watching a Disney movie. The thought made you smile before you glanced around and kept walking.

You and Chris? A complete secret. Private? Not even. You two wanted to keep it low and steady before you revealed it to the world, and the excuse you told him was something of the truth. He didn’t push and agreed right away, however he always felt somewhat glum he didn’t even let the world know he even had a girlfriend. There was no need to put a name, or even an actual announcement, just a subtle hint would have done it; but you said secret. So, he stuck to his promise.

You made sure to be quick and sneaky, and even if someone did see you in Boston, you made sure to say it was a quick visit if someone had asked. No one knew. Not even your best friend was aware of the fact that you were dating the Chris Evans. The man that had you gushing and squealing ever since your eyes landed on him for the first time in Fantastic Four. How the hell did you two meet? Long ass story.

The important thing is, is that you were together. You still can’t quite wrap your head around that you’re with Chris. There are days where your doubts and insecurities get the best of you, causing you to distant yourself from him. Were you too chubby? Could your stretch marks ruin you two? The questions and assumptions clouded your thoughts repeatedly and you were getting sick of it. You’d never show it, of course. Saying, “It’s nothing,” or putting on a smile and shaking your head, shrugging it off.

Your feelings are all bottled up. You truly, deeply, and honestly wanted to be those girls who don’t care about what others think; however, you just could not resist. You haven’t cried in a while, and don’t plan on doing so anytime soon, so whenever you feel like you’re going to let out something you shouldn’t, you bite your lip and look up, laughing and saying you just got the feeling to; whatever the fuck that means.

You sighed and snapped back to reality, giving the kind barista a smile as you paid for the drinks before grabbing them and walking back home. You chose a shortcut, trying to avoid potential paparazzi or something of the sorts. Chris was on speed dial incase anything happened, as usual. Thankfully, you got home safe and sound. As soon as you opened the door, Dodger was at the door, running around and jumping. You giggled and pet him, before moving your eyes to Chris’s figure.

His arms crossed with a sweet and comforting smile on his face. You happily returned the smile before giving him his coffee. He placed a kiss on your temple before walking you to the couch, his hand wrapping around your waist, pulling you close as he did. You unconsciously sucked in, something that you now do as it’s a habit. You two cuddled on the couch, coffees in hand as Dodger rested his chin on your lap. As you sipped your drink, you noticed Chris’ eye flickering from the tv to you every few minutes, yet you didn’t say anything and acted as if you didn’t notice.

But you did, you always did.

As the movie came to an end, your eyes barely stayed open. Chris saw that, his thumb rubbing soft circles on your hand, which just did it for you as you laid your head on his shoulder. His warmth sucked you into this deep sleep you so desperately craved for so long, but resisted with everything in you.

“You okay?” his tone low and cautious, turning his head to the side as he observed you carefully. You hummed, not giving him much to go on as you struggled keeping yourself up after getting 3 hours of sleep the entire week.

You nod, sitting upright as you sigh, “‘M okay,” yet he didn’t look convinced. He gave your hand a squeeze with his head tilted to the side, silently telling you to spit it out. Honesty, among other things, was something very important in your relationship—in any relationship, really. He said your name in a soft warning, making you shake your head, “Really, I am.”

“C’mon, be honest,” he exhaled, his hand moving to force your chin to turn to him. You couldn’t fight his grip as you gave into it and looked up into his eyes. You fought back a smile as you heard his accent slip through, earning a squint of speculation, “Something funny?”

“No, no,” you shrug, a chuckle escaping along with it, “The accent, though,” you tugged your bottom lip between your teeth as the smile you held back finally slipped through. He raised his brows, a grin now on his face, too, nodding ever so slightly.

“Yeah? What about it?” He asked playfully, waiting for a response as you struggled to find your words while his hand moved lower and lower. From your chin, to your jaw, your collarbone, then finally rested on your hip as your eyes darted from his lips to his eyes.

The smile on your face never faltered, even as you shook your head teasingly. “Nothing,” A light and breathless laugh left your lips while your eyes stayed on his. It was visible he was holding back something, which made your stomach churn. “Now what’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” He mimicked in your tone, making you angle your head to the side, a specific expression as if to tell him to spit it out. Your hand goes above his—the one on your hip. One squeeze was enough for him to get the memo, making him sigh as he dreaded asking something, “Are you okay? Really. Don’t lie with some stupid excuse and just tell me what it is,” He spoke softly and carefully, no anger in his tone while he awaited you to reply.

Your lips parted, unsure of what to say next. The only thing you could do was shake your head and let his hand drop from his hold on you as you stood up, calmly walking upstairs your shared room. He wasn’t that far behind. He had expected this, only because he knew you too well. You had never been the one of confrontation, it was always something you couldn’t bear.

“I’m fine, really,” You shook off, laying your head on his chest as to silently say the topic switched—to anything else, really. He sighed, annoyed but also hurt by the lying. The lying and silence where you wouldn’t admit your thoughts; even when he told you countless of times it was okay. That he heard you. You just wouldn’t budge. Something he loved and loathed about you, and was never sure if it was a good or bad thing. Then again, he lover you as a whole, so there almost was no argument when it came to deciding.

Only when it came to it in the moment. He let his arm wrap around you tightly, leaning back onto the couch as he spread slightly to get more comfortable. He knew, and could tell, this was going to be difficult, and so he couldn’t decide whether or not he wanted to push the topic further.

“Chris, I know that look,” Your head slightly tilted upwards, watching him through your lashes as he sighed apprehensively, and you internally groaned. He was stubborn, just as much as you are, but sometimes you wished he would drop it. Then again, that’s probably how you are, too.

He looked down at you, anticipating if he should continue with this. He cared too much to stop, but that was the same reason he wanted to carry it further. “Yeah, just-“

You quirked a brow, fixing your position as you sat up straight, hands on his chest as you waited for his continuation, until it never continued. He left it at that, then looked away, and silently got up. You were left confused and hesitant, debating if you should be the one to push the conversation now. So, without a second thought, you followed him to your bedroom, seeing him run a hand through his hair.

“Okay, yeah. Now you’re stressing me out,” You crossed your arms as you faced his back, head cocked to the side while your eyes moved along his body, seeing him tense and irritated—somehow…lovingly? That’s what caught you off guard, all while you scrambled on your feet, hand on his shoulder, forcing him around. “What is up with you?”

“What is up with you?” He asked almost as soon as the question left your lips, making you part your mouth slightly, eyes searching his for some sort of expression; emotion. “I’m like this ‘cause I’m worried about you,” His hands settle on your waist, pulling you closer as he let his head drop, his gaze moving up and down your body, then finally pulled them up to your face, “I can’t help if I don’t know what’s upsetting you.”

“Nothing’s-“

“No, don’t do that,” He shook his head adamantly, “Don’t shut me out. Not when you want to say it but can’t—act like you can’t. I’m here, you know that,” The words gentle and soft, his tone not giving you much of a reason to resist as you basically melted into him, your head dropping to his shoulders while his arms moved around you, now fully pressed against him. You shook your head, the guilt slowly starting to get to him more than you.

“It’s stupid,” A sigh left you, signaling you were close to burst, making him shake his head again, a hand reaching to the side of your face. He took a step back, forcing you to look up at him.

“It’s not stupid if you’re so insistent on not telling me,”

“That’s what makes it stupid. It’s dumb to the point where it shouldn’t be said,” You shrug it off, eyes falling to the floor for a second before back into his eyes, your tone quiet and nervous. You bit the inside of your cheek, before sighing, mouth parting as you sucked in a deep breath. “‘M insecure. It happens, it just shouldn’t be with you. I shouldn’t be with you.”

“No, no, don’t start that,” He knitted his brows together, stare carefully onto you, “It’s not true. You should know it’s not true,”

“I don’t fit the part. I don’t look it, either,” It slipped out so truthfully, head moved to the side as his hand remained on your cheek, your own irises examining every expression. Every breath, every flash of emotion in his own blue ones, how his forehead creased with lines, his brows pulled together, his lips apart, “It’s just insecurities. Everyone has them, y’know? But I think they’re right this one time.”

“No, they’re not,” he exhaled deeply, “That little voice will never be right,” It was almost relieving, finally hearing those thoughts that hurt your head every second of the day, he just couldn’t bear knowing it’s what you felt. “Ever.”

A hum was all you could muster up, even if that didn’t seem convincing, just as any other word would’ve been. It was like he knew, he knew that would be the answer, but that didn’t make it any less painful for him. “C’mon,” He whispered, desperation in his voice and features, “Don’t do that,” He kissed your cheek, “You know better,” And another, moving slightly down to your jaw, his hand on your waist still there, before he moved back up and pecked your lips.

“Unfortunately not,” Your hand moving to his chest, the other around his neck, “Maybe you don’t know me.”

That was what truly made him snap. He couldn’t let you talk down on yourself, to doubt yourself, to doubt him. Like this just wasn’t worth it, after all this time. “No?” He responded, ignoring that little comment and pang, eyes slightly darkened.

A shake of your head, and a turn of his head, “Get on the bed.” It was low, so faint you could’ve missed it if not for the absolute silence surrounding you two. You swallowed thickly, then turned your entire body before sitting down on the edge of the bed bed, your feet hovering the ground with eyes were stuck on him. “I don’t know you,” He stated more than asked, repeating your words as he got closer to you, eventually reaching the edge.

His grip on your chin, making him look down at you, while you struggled to hold your composure. He kneeled down, now you the one tilting your head downwards in order to keep your gaze on him. It was as if he hypnotized you, far too quickly even after your sudden outburst a few minutes ago. He had that effect on you, and he knew that. An evil smirk on his face, his inches away from yours as you breathed heavily.

“Chris,” You uttered, thighs clenching together as you breathed his name out, chest rising and falling, your head suddenly going into a blur of anything sensible as he filled your senses. His touch, smell, eyes, breath; it was intoxicating. Like a damn drug just always there, teasing and silently wanting. Wanting the reaction.

He shook his head, before settling down on his knees, hands going up and down your thighs, your breath hitching as a lump forms in your throat. His head dropping, his blues focusing on his slow movements. He shook his head once more, a small smile cracking through as his eyes when his hands move to the hem of your shirt.

“Off,” A demand, then his eyes found yours, “Now.” It was stern, no room for debate or arguments. A flash of unsureness all over your features, before his hand intertwined with your own, a gentle squeeze of comfort. In about a second, you pulled it off, “Everything.”

Oh good God.

You bit your lower lip in nervousness, slowly standing up as you unbuttoned your jeans, leaving you in your underwear and bra. You avoided his eyes at all times, turning and sighing, but he was determined. Chris stood back up, kissing your cheek, then forcefully, but gently, and pressed his lips onto your own. His were always soft, and it was exhilarating. This time, it was rough. Like there was a lesson needed to be taught, all while his hands moved up and down your sides, a gasp escaping you when he pulled you even closer to him.

He smiled, then moved kisses down to your jaw, neck, and eyes stuck to your chest. He groaned, hands moving to your back, unclasping it and throwing it carelessly to the side, along with your other clothes. Wide eyes while your stare remained on him, breath stammering as you awaited for him to say something.

“So gorgeous,” His hands roamed your body, from your thighs, to your hips, your waist, you back, “Oh, sweetheart,” He shook his head. That pet name was enough to make your knees weak, like it always has, then he leaned down to near your ear, “I don’t know you?” He repeated once more, his tongue clicking, “I think you’re wrong.”

“Chris-“

“It’s fine, I’ll prove it to you,” He interrupted, watching your every move. Your breath, expression, those eyes of yours that always seemed to captivate him like his do to you. A hand of his moved up to your chin, “Yeah?”

You nodded eagerly, a whine of desperation leaving you as his hand on your lower back moved to your hip, to your inner thigh, then dipped.

#₊⊹⁀➴ 𝐌𝐑𝐋𝐗𝐘𝐒 ᥫ᭡ #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #angst #marvel #steve rogers #chris evans #smut #chris evans smut

[mrlxys]

•°. *࿐ 𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐒

➣ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ! henry x singer!fem!reader

➣ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ! swearing

➣ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 ! i dont like this that much..

⤷ PART 1 ➠ 𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗚𝗢

Liked by oliviarodrigo, madisonbeer and 3,201,381 others

@y/nsofficial last night was amazing! thank you for having me !!

@y/nsmymotherfr mother during vigilante shit. omg.

@hcswife LITERALLY I SCREAMED

@musiclover anyone see those pics of her at the beach??

@reputation4eva did yall see her at the surprise songs? she was a mess???

@idkksalvatore HENRY DIDNT SHOW UP TO HER SHOW⁉️⁉️⁉️

@chanted444me WHATTT😨

You put your phone down after a while. Being on twitter and tiktok was just not the right move. Almost everything you’ve seen was about you on that beach, and the fact that Henry didn’t go to your show. You didn’t know when to reveal you were broken up, but that was quickly solved. You posted a tweet saying,

You then immediately shut your phone off, scared you might’ve done the wrong thing. You were no longer at your best friend’s house. You got off the bed, even if you didn’t want to. You wanted to curl up in a hole and never leave. The pang in your heart appeared every time your mind wandered off to him. You knew it would get better with time, but it was still unbelievable that he wasn’t with you anymore. That you weren’t with him.

Almost as soon as you tweeted it, your phone started buzzing. You shook your head and sighed, bored out of your mind. Usually, you would facetime someone, but you didn’t feel like it currently. You decided to go for a walk, so you grabbed a sweater and was then out the door. It was a quiet night, barely anyone was around. There were cars driving, a few lights opened, but that was it.

You wrapped your arms around your waist as you stared at the ground, goosebumps rising on your skin as you held in a breath. Your mind went back to the tweet you just wrote, and knew your best friend would be laughing at how maturely you were handling the whole situation. Not a single hint of how it ended, not one shady comment, nothing. You started debating if you should’ve, but quickly came to the conclusion that this was Henry you were on about. Your former lover. The one person you thought would be with you forever. Life is such a bitch.

You were still in public, and being in public meant there are eyes everywhere; even if there aren’t a lot of people. So, you pulled yourself together and kept on walking. You eventually made it to a quiet park. No one was around, and if you were being honest, a scenery of how a horror movie would usually start. Henry knew that about you. Your mind would always go to the worst places and you couldn’t pull yourself out. He did, though. He always did. He made sure you felt protected and safe at all times. He was there when you needed him, and that how it always was; until recently.

You wondered what would’ve happened if you didn’t say anything. You and Henry would still be together, and you wouldn’t be feeling this tremendous loss. Losing someone who’s still here is a pain that’s unexplainable. Deep down, you knew the breakup was the good thing that happened. You’ve always put anyone before you, but this time. For once in your entire life, you deserved to put yourself first. You were fully convinced he was the love of your life; you still are. Sure, you’ve been through breakups before, but nothing like this.

6 years of your life just vanished like it was nothing. Like he was nothing. All the memories, pictures, texts, were nothing but memories. As much as you told yourself that, you weren’t convinced. You miss Henry with everything in you, and you hate how you cannot seem to move on. You called it off; but you had every reason to. You will always love him, that much is obvious, but you needed an actual relationship with him. Your heart started pounding as you then felt yourself close to crying. One thing about being known, do not cry in public. So, you turned on your heels and went back to your place. As you were about to enter, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You tensed up, preparing yourself to scream. That is until you turned around and saw who it was.

Henry.

You then relaxed, until you realized you shouldn’t be as comfortable as you are around him. Neither of you said anything as you pulled him in, making sure no one was around to see. Confrontation or arguments in a public space with everyone—especially paparazzi—around, wasn’t something that you needed; especially right now. Your back was against the door once you shut it, making sure you left distance between you two. You didn’t know how you weren’t breaking down at the mere sight of him, but you were beyond grateful. You haven’t even seen a picture of him since that night, so this was a lot for you to take in.

You sucked in a deep breath as you two stared at one another, clearly not knowing what to say. “Y/N,” He sighed, “I’m sorry.” He continued, taking you by surprise. You let your confusion take over your features as it took every ounce of energy you had left to hold back the tears that gathered on your waterline.

“Why are you sorry?” You genuinely asked, “I broke up with you. It’s my fault, remember?” You tried your best to sound unbothered, but it wasn’t working. He then took a step forward, and you felt your chest tighten as you were close to losing yourself. “I’m sorry,” He repeated slowly. You locked eyes with him, your body gluing you to your spot as it took your best composure to not apologize again and cup his face, assuring him everything was perfectly okay.

He had an apologetic look that you couldn’t miss even if you tried. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” It slipped out before he could stop it, and that was your breaking point. Tears freely ran down your cheeks as you slid down the door. You covered your face with your hands as you looked down, feeling miserable and pathetic. Sobs escaped your lips as you tried to stop, but failed. You then felt an arm around you as he pulled you close. Your head was screaming at you to get up, to kick him out, anything but this.

You got yourself off the ground and walked away quickly, wiping your tears away. However, that was useless as more tears kept rolling down your cheeks. He went after you, gently grabbing your wrist to turn you around. You avoided his eyes, looking down as you tried to push him away. You weakly tried to push him away, your hands on his chest, changing from fists to an open hand. “I hate this, I hate you,” You started blabbering nonsense as you broke down, finally giving up on him leaving as you rested your head on the crook of his neck. Tears stained his shirt, but he didn’t care.

His arms were now around you. One on your back, another was holding the back of your head. You were embarrassed and felt beyond pathetic. As you cried in his arms, he sat on the ground in the same spot, still holding you close. Your sobs turned faint until you finally stopped. “God, this is embarrassing.” You chuckled at yourself as you were sat on his lap. The previous tears stained your cheeks as he scanned you. “No, it isn’t.” He disagreed, he himself let out a few tears as you were bawling. You remember all the times he held you just like this. Comforting you, assuring you’re going to be fine, and just being there when you needed him.

“It really is,” You started, “I’m your ex. This is weird and wrong on so many levels.” You continued on, however he only tilted his head. You stood up, trying to back away but he only got closer. It seems like every step you take backwards isn’t helping, because in reality, it really isn’t. He made it clear that he was not leaving and wanted to talk this out. Henry processed that it was a 6 year relationship that just ended, and he wasn’t about to let that slide.

Your feet stopped as you your back hit a wall, making him tower over you. You bit back sobs as you avoided eye contact, feeling yourself crumble although all you want to do is be in his arms again; but you were better than that.

“I’m sorry.” He uttered once more, but you didn’t get why. The breakup was your fault. You dumped him. You said it was over; you. “For not being the person you deserve.” And there it is. The apology you never expected, but honestly should have since this was the sweet Henry you know; knew. You keep forgetting things have changed. You’ve changed, he’s changed, and you didn’t know if it was for the better or worse.

“What do we do now, hm? You apologized, and my mind is a mess—“ You forced down a sob, “And I don’t know how—“ You kept cutting yourself off, unsure of what to say or how to put your feelings into words. His hands slowly moved, locking eyes with you as a silent way of asking for permission, and when you didn’t say anything except a very small nod, his hands moved to your cheeks.

“I know, I know,” He repeated softly. His apology was real. His words were real. His love is real. “Whatever you want to do, I’ll do it.” Henry said. He was respectful, that’s the man he is. The only question is, what is it you want? You didn’t know if this should go back to how it was, maybe ending in a different way? Or maybe not going back with that pain of knowing you could’ve being carried with you wherever you go? You didn’t know.

“I need time to think.” You finally looked up at him after thinking for a few minutes in silence, “It’s too much,” You inhaled a deep breath, “And I love you, but I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt myself again, hurt you…” You trailed off, unsure of where your thoughts were taking you.

He nodded in acknowledgement, “I understand.” He dropped his hands, and suddenly, this felt real again. He silently left you, leaving you with your overwhelming thoughts and feelings. Now, there were two options:

Possibly reignite the relationship you two once had, which could end in a disaster or a never—ending love you’ll forever cherish,

or leave, and always knowing you could’ve gone back but didn’t.

Oh how you hate your indecisiveness.

#₊⊹⁀➴ 𝐌𝐑𝐋𝐗𝐘𝐒 ᥫ᭡ #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill #angst #dc universe #taylor swift #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x y/n #x reader #sad ending #happy ending

[mrlxys]

•°. *࿐ 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐎

➣ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ! henry x singer!fem!reader

➣ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ! mentions of sex, angst, arguing

➣ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 ! i actually really like this.

⤷ PART 2 ➠ 𝗥𝗨𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗦

Your eyes fell on Henry’s figure. His eyes were hooded as he opened his phone, exhaustion clear in his eyes. You were about to start a conversation you were sure you’d be screaming at yourself for starting later, but it had to be done. You and Henry haven’t had an actual conversation in what felt like forever, and it was tiring. You were so done and you needed more than sex. It was like an arrangement. An arrangement that was made unspoken, and was about to come to an end.

At first you didn’t think much of it; but over time, it had to stop. Sex was not enough, and it never will be. As much as you loved him, it wasn’t enough to let you surpass how he uses you to let out his frustration and anger. It had to end. You let this slide for far too long, and you were sure the weight on your shoulders would be lifted once you broke up.

“Henry,” You took a deep breath, your eyes glued to the floor as you were thinking about what to say next. You’ve delayed ‘the talk’ for a while, so it almost felt surreal that it was now happening. His eyes moved to the back of your head as you were standing and fiddling with your fingers. Once you finally turned around, your eyes immediately locked with his. He shut his phone and placed it on the nightstand, arms crossing. You sat on an empty space on the bed, your eyes filled with worry and pain.

He knew it was about to be a serious talk, and that scared him. You two usually didn’t have conversations about things that are serious, so this honestly frightened him. Your mind suddenly went blank once you saw his expression. Sure, he may be an actor, but he couldn’t hide his feelings from you even if he tried; you knew him too well. You loved him so much, and hell, it has been such an incredible 6 years with him, but it needed to stop. It had to end.

“We can’t—“ You didn’t know how to start this, “we can’t be together.” You saw his face fall, eyebrows raised, and his mouth open as he tried to find the right words. He attempted to grab your hands, but you instantly pulled them away, scared of giving in. “What did I do?” He faintly asked. You shook your head, “We’ve stopped acting like a couple. It’s just sex now, and honestly, that’s not good enough for me.” You spoke your truth, and it was too late to back out now.

“Please,” He pleaded as you looked down, avoiding his gaze as you were close to breaking. He sucked in a deep breath and cupped your jaw, forcing you to look at him. You bit your lip as it started to tremble, trying so hard to pull yourself together. You got off the bed and walked out of your room. You were pacing back and forth the kitchen as your heart was rapidly beating. Your eyes glossy, threatening to release tears and ruin your calm self.

He wasn’t far behind, now standing directly in front of you as he tried to reason, “I can’t do this,” You breathed out, slightly shaking your head, “I love you, okay? You know that. I will always love you, but we don’t even have a relationship anymore. It’s just us fucking when you’re stressed, Hen.” You shook your head, looking at the ground. It was now silent; way too silent for your liking. Your eyes flickered to his beautiful eyes that now softened at the sight of you.

“I can change. We’ll go back to the way we were, okay?” Henry tried his hardest to compromise. Desperation in his voice, worry in his eyes, and his hands on your hips. A tear managed to escape your eye, rolling down your cheek as you laughed humorlessly, shaking your head, “This has been going on for so long I’m not sure how you could.” You then tilted your head, his thumb wiping the tear away.

As you looked up, his eyes were glossy as well. You wanted to hug him and take every damn thing back, but you couldn’t. You wouldn’t. Henry once again opened his mouth, yet nothing escaped. “Please, please,” He refused, cupping your cheek, “I need you.” He whispered, tears now falling freely.

Henry wasn’t a very emotional person. You’ve rarely seen him cry, but when you did, it was heartbreaking. You could’ve sworn you heard your heart shatter, almost like glass as it felt like every bit of your glass-like-heart was being removed. Henry has been such an important person in your life for 6 years, and you didn’t know how you were going to deal without him. He would hold you when you needed someone, understood you in ways no one else ever could, would drive you around town to the beach in the night when you couldn’t sleep, blast music with you in the car, support your work. Just everything about him was perfect.

“I love you,” You repeated, “but for once I need to put myself first.” Your voice was shaky, and tears were no longer held back. You wanted to say more, but you couldn’t think of any of the right words to say. “I will always support and love you. I’ll always be watching from afar. You know that,” The corners of your mouth twitched upwards for a second, knowing you will. “Please find someone that’ll love you and be there for you in ways I won’t be able to.”

“I don’t want someone else,” He honestly said, making you shake your head, “We can’t be together.” You then moved his hand away from your cheek; engulfing it in your hands before letting it drop to his side. Your hands moved to his face, holding his face, before pressing a soft and slow kiss on his lips. He pulled you close, hands resting on your lower back.

It was long and sweet; something you haven’t experienced in a while. As soon as you pulled away, he pulled you back in for one last kiss. You gave in, knowing both of you needed it. Your hands on his chest as you then pulled away. You grabbed your purse and left, sobs leaving your lips once you shut the door, walking to your car. Hands covering your face as the tears ran down your cheeks freely, driving around the corner as your vision began to be blurry. The man who you assumed to be the love of your life, was now gone. All because of you.

Tour. You were overjoyed you were going on tour right after the breakup, giving you a distraction from all the pain and suffering you’ve been through. You were now getting your makeup and hair done in his shirt. Your favorite one, too. You zoned out thinking about all the memories you had while wearing this shirt. When you stole it, when he confronted you and he jokingly swore he was going to get it back, wearing it to the beach on one starry night at midnight.

He never got it back.

You cleared your throat to avoid any tears. You were on tour and you had to stop yourself. You were on in 10 and you were thrilled about it, it was going to be amazing. You were sure of it. “Okay, you’re done.” Your hairstylist, Cassidy, informed you. You gave her a nod along with a smile and got off the chair, your eyes set on your outfit. You then changed into your outfit, looking at yourself in the mirror.

“You look amazing,” Cassidy spoke, your makeup artist agreeing as she clapped. “Sweetie, you look great!” Your mom hugged you, then twirled you around as you two laughed. “Thank you guys.” A kind smile on your face as you giggled.

It’s been a bit. It was now time for the surprise songs and you were feeling like you wanted to rip your heart out of your chest, eyes glassy with memories of him. You could see your best friend in the VIP area, giving you a nod to encourage you.

“So,” You cleared your throat, the thousands of people in front of you curious for what songs you have chosen, “I’m gonna start off by saying this night has been unbelievable,” You laughed. The crowd was already going wild, clapping and making some noise, “And I’m so grateful for everyone here tonight. I didn’t need a long time to come to a decision for these songs. This is from the vault, and it means so much to me. I hope you guys enjoy it, and relate to them as much as I do. I really need this, and some of you may need it, too.”

You sat at the piano, hands shaking as you glanced to the supporting crowd. You bit your lip as you pressed the first key, and your mind just wandered off to memories of him.

You say “I don’t understand”

And I say “I know you don’t”

The crowd cheered and sang along, screams and gasps being heard.

We thought a cure would come through in time

Now, I fear, it won’t

You looked around, a tear running down your cheek as you continued singing. Your hands on the piano as your eyes scanned the room, remembering when he used to come to your tours. When he used to blast the songs of your newest album once he got home from work, a bright smile on his face as you pecked him. That seemed like forever ago, and you’d do anything to feel that type of love again. His love again.

How long could we be a sad song

'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life

I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy

And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier

Your voice broke. Looks of concern and empathy on your mother and best friend’s faces, sadly singing along as they knew. You were pretty sure everyone knew. Paparazzi took millions of photos of you walking into your house looking like a wreck, and the media went wild. You loved Henry with everything in you, so you couldn’t unfollow him or block him, even though your best friend wanted you to.

Fighting in only your army

Frontlines, don't you ignore me

I'm the best thing at this party

Flashes of memories with you and him at parties with friends, dancing and drinking just corrupted your mind. His laughter and playful comments filling your ears whenever you made some sarcastic remark. The way he held you, the way he placed kisses in your hair before you fell asleep, how he got you flowers on a random day because he missed you. How tight, safe, and loving his hugs were after he traveled.

You're losin' me

And I wouldn't marry me either

A pathological people pleaser

Who only wanted you to see her

And I'm fadin', thinkin'

You then remembered the ending to your relationship. Why it ended. You felt like he got tired, no matter how he pleaded that night. He needed something new—someone new in his life. You weren’t that. After 6 years, you wondered if he didn’t want you anymore. You wondered if he wanted a future with you.

"Do something, babe, say something"

say something

"Lose something, babe, risk something"

you’re losin’ me

"Choose something, babe, I got nothing

got nothing

To believe

Unless you're choosin' me"

It felt like it was one sided love at the end. You would always care and love him, you just hoped you’d stop being in love with him soon enough. You’ve never felt so much pain in your life, and you didn’t know how to cope.

You're losin' me

Stop

stop stop

You're losin' me

Stop

stop stop

You're losin' me

You sucked a deep breath, looking up at the sparkly night as another tear rolled down your cheek. Memories of you two sitting in front of the ocean. The moon shining above you as you two talked and laughed till sunrise. Your hands intertwined as you felt like you could tell him anything. No one around, it was just the two of you. How he hugged you and kissed you. How he braided your hair when you were looking off into the distance once you two had a comfortable silence.

I can't find a pulse

My heart won't start anymore

As you stopped singing, you took out your earpiece, hearing how loud it was. You laughed, then wiped your tears with your knuckles as your smile widened, “I love you all.” You honestly said. You made a heart, then blew them several kisses as you moved your hair to your shoulder. “And for the second song,” You sighed, “This song is very dear to me. And it’s true, it will always be true.” You nodded, “Always.” You then whispered.

I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own

The crowd got loud once again as you put your earpiece back in. Your eyes closing as you sang, squeezing your eyes shut as you smiled. More and more memories flashing.

And all at once

you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart

body and soul

You smiled as you opened your eyes. Your eyes moved all over the crowd. Your supporters singing along and cheering.

And all at once

you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart

body and soul

And all at once

you're all I want

I'll never let you go

King of my heart

my heart

body and soul

my soul

You saw people taking pictures and videos, and your mind was still stuck on him. After he traveled for the last time, it hasn’t been the same since. You tried asking, but he would just shrug it off. It would never end the way you wanted it to, but you always accepted it and loved him.

And all at once

I've been waiting

waiting

And all at once

you are the one

I have been waiting

waiting

Body and soul

And all at once

And just like that, the first night of your tour was done. You stood up from your seat, standing in the middle of your stage as your eyes scanned the people in front of you, giving them a small wave as you waited for them to calm down. “This is a night I will forever remember.” Your eyes went to where Henry would usually be whenever he got a break from work and came, “I am so grateful for all of you. Thank you for being here. I love you all.”

You took a deep breath as you sat in your oversized sweater, playing with the sleeve as you pouted. The show was over and you were tired, but could not sleep whatever you tried to do. Usually at a time like this, you’d go to the beach with Henry. He knew you so well, and he knew you’d always enjoy it. You had no idea how, or what gave him the idea, but he just did. Sometimes it felt like he knew you better than yourself. With a huff, you grabbed your car keys and got into your car.

Maybe it’ll help.

You took your shoes off, leaving them in the car as you walked on the sand. Where you would usually be holding hands with Henry, laughing and taking pictures. But now you were all alone. Well, you always had your friends, but it was never the same. He was your one true love, and you didn’t know if you would ever recover. You’ve had exes, but no one compared to him. No one ever could, and no one ever will.

You haven’t sobbed since the night of the breakup. You wouldn’t let yourself break, because you were too afraid you wouldn’t be able to stop. You lost someone who was still alive, still there, but at the same time wasn’t. It was terrifying. Thankfully no one was around, just how you liked it. Memories came flooding back, and it was hard containing yourself. You would always cherish him. Somedays you’d catch yourself daydreaming about being with him, marrying him, but you would never be able to.

For the first time in what felt like forever, you broke. You finally let a sob escape, no longer biting your lip as you started trembling. Pulling your legss to your chest, chin rested on your knees, staring off into the gorgeous night sky. The stars were sparkling, the wind was calm, and it was just what you needed. The sand was soft, you weren’t loud, and you were in your sweater and sweatpants. You thought about one of the hoodies you still had of his, but quickly shook that away. It was pathetic enough you were breaking down on the beach, you didn’t need any more memories to complete the breakdown.

With a humorless chuckle at how pathetic you were, you walked to your car and grabbed the hoodie. No paparazzi around, not one person was there. It seemed like a start of a horror movie, and Henry sure as hell wouldn’t let you go alone, but he wasn’t in your life anymore. You curled up in your previous position, the hoodie in your arms as you let your tears roll down your cheeks. You then took your phone, and opened it, seeing tweets about your show. You liked some, replied to others, then eventually put it down.

You let out a sigh, closing your eyes for a moment as you let your mind wander off. You’ve held yourself together for a while, it felt weird breaking now. The facade of being okay, of being perfectly fine for so long finally broke. You’ve said you were fine more times that you could imagine, saying that it was all right and means nothing. But six years. Six years of him and memories with him; it felt surreal he was gone.

No more travel surprise visits when he was filming a movie in another country, no more bouquets of your favorite flower because he missed you, no more good morning or goodnight texts and kisses, no more hearing his voice. You were done. You were shattered beyond repair, and had no idea how you were going to recover. You were thankful that your tour was beginning so that you had a distraction from the heartbreak.

After a little while, you wiped your tears away and got up. You put your shoes on and drove to where your best friend was staying. She looked surprised when you opened the door, but let you in nonetheless. Your lips trembled as you shut your eyes, squeezing them shut as she pulled you into her arms. No words had to be spoken, the two of you just knew. An understanding. You’d always love her for that. For being there for you, for never leaving you. You cherished that.

#₊⊹⁀➴ 𝐌𝐑𝐋𝐗𝐘𝐒 ᥫ᭡ #alternate universe #henry cavill angst #henry cavill x you #x reader #eras tour #taylor swift #youre losing me #unreleased music #henry cavill imagine

[mrlxys]

•°. *࿐ 𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘

➣ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ! chris evans x fem!famous!reader

➣ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ! a lot of thirst tweets are said, swearing

➣ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 ! thought of this and decided to write it!

“Hey, I’m Y/N L/N,” You greeted with a smile, then looked over at Chris who was looking at you before his head swung to the camera, “And I’m Chris Evans.”

“And we are here with BuzzFeed to read thirst tweets.” You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing as the words came out, “We haven’t even started and you’re a wreck.” Chris laughed along, doing his signature boob grab as he almost fell off his chair as he lost his breath.

“We’re professionals, I swear.” You then tried to pull yourself together with a stern face, but broke a smile as you excused your behavior to the camera. “Okay, who’s first?” You then spoke and turned over to Chris.

“Lady’s first.” He smiled.

“Such a gentleman,” You teased and pressed a tweet on the phone in your hand, “Oh, God. And, by the way, we’re reading each other’s thirst tweets to switch it up, ‘cause why not?” You shrugged as you thought of a reason, before stifling a laugh as you read the tweet in your head. “Chris Evans can rearrange my organs ‘till I’m that girl on Kevin Gates story.” You gaped with your eyes wide before throwing your head back into a fit of laughter.

“Is it that one story that everyone gushed about for a day?” He asked you innocently before you nodded, seeing realization hit him. A blush crept onto his cheeks as he stayed speechless. He then cleared his throat and tilted his head towards you, “And why do you know that story?”

“Well, because curiosity kills the cat. No, seriously, that story changed me. It’s natural, but still not something you see everyday.” You shrugged as he nodded in understanding, “Your turn, Evans.”

“Y/N is mother. Like honestly, mother was mothering a lot recently, and I swear I could fall onto my knees in front of her and [ REDACTED ] [ REDACTED ] [ REDACTED ]” He read, making you giggle once again. He cleared his throat and spoke up, “Gotta admit, I’m a bit intrigued on what they were thinking while writing this.”

“Scroll on twitter long enough and you’ll find out,” You answered almost immediately, “The moment I knew I was a Steve girl was the moment I saw him looking like a Goddamn glazed donut.” She smiled, making him let out a laugh, “Don’t get your hopes up, he doesn’t always look like that.” You said sarcastically with a shake of your head, getting a certain look from Chris.

“Rude.” He scoffed, making your facade falter, “I want—no, need and deserve to get absolutely demolished by Y/N L/N.” He stated. You gasped for a moment, “I’ve read worse. I want the big guns, I know they’re there.”

“What do you mean ‘you’ve read worse’?” He furrowed his brows as he crossed his arms over his chest, causing your eyes to flicker down to his arms before settling back on his blue eyes. “Well, I’ve read books, wattpad, tumblr, tiktok captions and filthy ass comments exist, y’know…” You shrugged. He slightly opened his mouth in surprise, “Oh, don’t act surprised. You knew I read things, you just didn’t know what.” You nonchalantly said.

“Y’all talking about which cars your dream rides are. Nah, Chris motherfucking Evans is my dream ride. We are not the same.” She laughed as she nodded, “Real.” The word slipped out before you could even stop it, getting a playful look from everyone behind the camera, “Don’t be so judgy! Everyone here is so judgmental.” You jokingly said, getting a pillow thrown by your manager, aka, one of your closest friends.

“Would I immediately date Y/N if I get the smallest chance? One hundred percent. Would she be committing a crime? Absolutely. Do I mind? No. Not one bit.” He read. You hid your face with your hands, laughing as you then put them down once you were done; however a smile still evident on your face. “Do not know how to react to that.”

“‘Till—no, we are not stopping. I want Chris absolutely on the brink of exploding, a literal whimpering mess. I want that man to look me dead in the eye and tell me if I stop I’ll literally spend the rest of the day regretting everything I’ve ever done.” You said as if it was the most casual thing ever, while Chris was debating if he should stay silent or laugh.

“Damn. How do I recover from that?” He asked you playfully, “Don’t know, don’t care.” You shrugged, earning a hit on your shoulder by him in a jokingly response.

“My wife Y/N is underrated. Where are her nsfw posts on tumblr? I want her edits all over my for you page, I want to literally be mortifyingly obsessed with this woman. I don’t give two flying fucks who she dates ( sorry chris x ) or how big our age gap is; when I see an attractive woman, I want her!” He enthusiastically said, “I don’t know how to feel about this. Never mind, I do. No.” He then placed a kiss on your cheek as you just eyed him teasingly.

“What does…nsfw even mean?” He asked you genuinely as he made sure he wasn’t just hallucinating it. “It’s like inappropriate things someone would do, I guess.”

“Do you even know what it stands for?” Your manager asked from behind the camera, “No! I do not. Honestly, thought about googling it, decided not to. I mean seriously, what does nsfw stand for? Not safe for widows?”

Chris, once again, did his boob grab as he laughed, eyes squinting as you watched him with your eyes filled with love. You weren’t able to hold back a few giggles. He had tears streaming down his face at your sentence, making you wipe them away before turning to the camera.

“He’s so daddy. He actually surpassed that, he’s moved to zaddy. Oh, he definitely whimpers.” You tilted your head at the last sentence, unsure if you read it right as you bit your lip to bite back a laugh—something that seemed to be happening a lot more than you thought, “I will not be saying anything that will stir anything up.” You paused before whispering to the camera, “He so does.”

The people behind the it seemed to gasp and laugh, making Chris tilt his head at you, “Hey, man, just giving the people what they want.” You defended.

“Not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse that Y/N has those thighs. Respectfully, let me eat you.” He laughed as he shifted in his seat. You didn’t miss that look on his face, “Ugh, thank you.” You bowed, “Respectfully, of course.”

“Chris Evans? Nah, Chrizz Evans.” You laughed, “I actually saw this one.” You flicked your hair off your shoulders in a gleeful manner. “You just read these when you’re bored?”

“Again, read way worse. You would not believe the things people say about you in random comments.”

“I would literally bend myself over backwards just to get a glance from Y/N. I would absolutely let that woman cuff me and run me over ‘till sunrise.” He read with furrowed brows, a chuckle leaving his lips.

“I am…honored.” You gulped with a nervous smile, “But do not…just—“ You did not know how to react to that as you felt your cheeks warm up. “Thank you.”

“Sure messed you up, didn’t it?” Chris laughed at your reaction, making you hit his arm.

“Chris Evans, please stick your tongue down my throat.” You then said, glancing over at Chris for his reaction. “All right, two more then we’re done, right?” You asked, getting a nod from your manager.

“I would let Y/N L/N ruin my life twice, and get away with it.” He looked up at the camera, “facts.” He then continued on, shocking you.

“I’m in a getaway car,” You sang, “Sorry. Anyway! Christopher, it would mean the world to me if you could just place a laptop on my tits, then slam it shut.” You laughed with your eyes wide, seeing him speechless as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I guess this is it for now. This has been—a joy, to say the least. Wouldn’t you say?” You turned your head to Chris, “Definitely something to remember.” He laughed.

“An experience I will forever cherish,” You put your hands on the place your heart is, “And do not forget you may personally send me whatever comments you want on my instagram.”

You then waved to the camera as it ended, looking over at Chris. “Do people really—“

“You have no idea.” You cut him off, a hand on his shoulder.

#₊⊹⁀➴ 𝐌𝐑𝐋𝐗𝐘𝐒 ᥫ᭡ #chris evans x reader #chris evans #fluff #chris evans fluff #thirst tweets #steve rogers #social media au

[mrlxys]

•°. *࿐ 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊

➣ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ! jake x fem!insecure!reader

➣ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ! body dysmorphia, mental health issues

➣ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 ! i have no idea what this is

You took a deep breath as you closed your book, putting it away as you got tired. It was almost time to leave, so you just scrolled on your phone for a bit.

“Y/N!” None other than Gina Linetti yelled to grab your attention. She succeeded. You looked up as she motioned for you to come over. You got on your feet, and walked over with a small smile, “The crew’s going for drinks later, you know, the usual, but I’ve heard you don’t want to come?”

“Uh—yeah,” You nodded as your brows furrowed, “Why?” Gina took a deep breath as she looked at you with a certain look that you read as ‘seriously?’.

“You’ve been missing out on going anywhere with us; is something up?” Gina intertwined her hands as she looked up at you, eyeing you, “Nope, I’m perfectly fine.” The lie immediately left your lips as you shrugged, “Just a bit tired. I’ve never been one for hangouts, anyway.”

“Mhm.” She nodded unconvinced, motioning as to tell you ‘okay, go’. You put on the smile you had and returned to your desk, sitting down in your seat. You then heard a loud laugh, making you turn your head in the sounds direction. It was Amy and Jake talking, Amy seemingly laughing at something Jake had said.

You involuntarily formed a sad smile, then looked away before anyone could see you look at them. If someone knew, you thought repeatedly. God, how you had the biggest crush on Jake. It started as a giddy middle school crush, before it turned into something more. It was long before Amy ans Jake got together, so it was so hard to try to make your feelings disappear. Not to mention you and Jake are very close friends.

Jake and Amy were the perfect couple. You would never do anything to damage their relationship, no matter what. Yes, you and Jake were close, but you and Amy were also friends. Sabotaging their relationship would be the last thing you would ever do. You wouldn’t blame Jake for getting with Amy, anyway. She was so incredibly smart, let alone gorgeous. You’re not jealous of Amy, but you just aspire to be like her.

“N/N!” Jake clapped in front of you, making you jump in your seat, “What the hell?” You furrowed your brows as you looked up at him. He crossed his arms as he looked concerned and serious at the same time, “Why’re you not going anywhere with us?” He asked as he narrower his eyes at you.

“I’m just not in the mood,” You sighed to stand up, before he pushed you back onto the chair. You tilted your head in confusion, “I’m being honest, Peralta.” You shook your head with a shrug.

“I somehow find that hard to believe.” He let out a breath as he grabbed a chair. He sat in front of you. You knew how this was gonna go. He wouldn’t leave you alone, bug you with questions before you finally admit what was up. Not this time, though. You literally could not bear to let your heart break even more, especially seeing them somewhere other than work. Besides, you wouldn’t have had a chance either way.

Your insecurities would get the best of you, and not let it down until you distanced yourself from him and eventually breakup. Well, that’s not how your relationships went. It’s what you were told during those relationships that affected you and made you the way you are.

“Y’know how lucky you are to be with me?”

“You were always something to pass time with.”

“Look at you. Why would I be with you out of all people?”

The memories flashed, causing you to swallow a lump in your throat. His hand went on yours, “Just tell me.” He was genuinely concerned. Jake always cared about his friends, something you loved about him. Loved, shit, you freaked out and stammered, “I gotta go.” You grabbed your bag and strutted to the elevator in a hurry. You felt everyone’s eyes on you, and you just closed your eyes as you walked into the elevator, before Jake threw one of Scullys’ bag of chips to keep the elevator opened.

“Okay, seriously, what is up with you?” He stopped the elevator, then turned to you. He cornered you, making your breath hitch, “What’s up with you?” You chuckled in disbelief as your hands pushed him away softly. He tilted his head in confusion now, “Just—leave me alone.” You turned to the button, until Jake grabbed your wrists.

“You should know me better than that,” He said as he blocked your view of the controls, “Please tell me.” He pleaded. You shook your head and backed up, suddenly feeling suffocated. Your mental health has gone to shit a while ago, your insecurities piling up with every passing minute, and the urge to breakdown was too much; not to mention overthinking. Sure, you may have overreacted before, but you had time to think about that later. Right now, all you wanted to do is get away from Jake Peralta.

You stayed quiet, head down, while you fidgeted with your fingers. He dropped his head back as a soft sigh left his lips. He knew you were stubborn, but usually he would’ve gotten through to you by now, “Is it really that scary you don’t wanna tell me?”

You looked up at him, giving him an answer without saying a word. He nodded, then moved to let you press the button, yet you paused, “If I could tell you, I would, but I’m not that kind of person.” Then pressed the button.

The next day was the same, yet you stayed quiet. You were more introverted than usual as you tugged the the hem of your sweater’s sleeves, in deep thought. You wondered if yesterday could’ve gone differently, but it couldn’t have. You felt Jake’s eyes on you, but you didn’t dare to even glance in his direction. You were finishing up paperwork, then got up to go to Captain Holt’s office.

“Y/N,” Gina grabbed you, making you almost lose your balance, “Hm?” You hummed. Rosa was stood beside you, making you jump a bit. Then, Rose hit your shoulder without warning, “What gives?” You hit her back, making her give you a glare you know wasn’t real.

“Did you tell Jake?” Gina sang. You knitted your brows together, obviously confused. Rosa sighed, “Did you tell Jake you wanted him in way too many ways?” She said casually. Your eyes widened and looked around to make sure no one heard, and thankfully, no one did.

“Say it louder, why don’t you?” You sarcastically stated as you crossed your arms, “Also, obviously not.” You continued.

“Well, why not?” Gina said as if it wasn’t obvious enough. “He is dating someone. I can’t ruin that, why would I? I don’t have a chance, anyway.” You shrugged, “Let it go. I’m not really bothered with this, and you both shouldn’t be either.”

“Yeah,” Gina hummed, “no.” She then continued, getting a nod from Rosa. “They’ve been talking about taking a ‘break’ for a bit, because they’ve been busy with work.” Rosa turned to you.

“That’s their business, and I will not interfere, so neither should you two!” You pointed at them with your index finger. You then walked back to your desk, ditching the idea to go to Captain Holt. Thankfully, it was time to leave, so you took your things and made you way to the elevator. And this time, Jake didn’t throw a bag of chips.

You were in your apartment, on the couch while you waited your pizza to arrive to start the movie. Then, the doorbell rang. Expecting it to be your order, you grabbed your cash and walked to the door, opening it to find Jake.

While you were about to slam the door shut, he put his hand on the door and pushed it open. You walked back to your couch, not saying a word as he shut the door, “Talk to me.” He sighed as you stayed quiet. You were in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, with your hair in a ponytail. “What do you want me to say?” You faintly said, trying so incredibly hard to not look at him.

“Whatever it is that’s bothering you.” He honestly spoke, “I can’t do that.” You finally turned to him, the gap between you two not being much—catching you off guard. As you were about to turn and look down as you’ve done before, his thumb and index finger held your chin, forcing you to look up at him, “I can’t,” You tilted your head ever so slightly, the words coming out as a whisper.

Before he let out a word, the bell rang. You swallowed a lump that formed in your throat, then stood up and walked to the door. You grabbed the cash beforehand, then opened the door to find a sweet woman with a pizza box, “Thank you,” You mumbled with a smile, then softly shut the door and walked back to the couch.

“Y/N—“

“No, you seriously don’t understand; I actually can’t tell you. It’s best if I don’t, Jake.” You cut him off before he can say anything. He doesn’t understand how much you being in his mere presence hurts you so much. You wouldn’t dream of ruining what makes Jake happy, not to mention Amy. Amy was such a kind and special person, you were honestly relieved Jake was dating her.

You then felt him intertwine your hands, making you look up at him with a confused expression, “I understand.” He nodded as he locked eyes with you. You mirrored his soft nod, as you cupped his cheek before being able to stop yourself. Your eyes widened just a bit before going back to your previous expression; trying to not make your thoughts obvious.

“I really can’t,” You whispered as tears welled up in your eyes, although they weren’t very obvious. He nodded and got up, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” His lips formed into a thin line, making you suck in a breath.

As soon as he was out the door, tears freely rolled down your cheeks. Your knees were pulled to your chest, then grabbed the remote to put on your comfort movie. Everything has gone to crap—everything except your job, that is.

Mental health? Long gone.

Love life? Never existed.

Friendships? Either distance or are just fake.

Insecurities? Piling up by the passing second.

Life is truly not worth it.

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