#<- just explaining myself here bc this is a bit more of a public blog so i wanna make myself more clear than have my words be twisted 👍

[rempyz]

small brain: ren is the husband and stimpy is the wife

average brain: theyre both husbands

huge brain: they take turns being husband and wife or sometimes theyre both husbands or wives or both individually husband and wife at the same time or simply neither and just are spouses

galaxy brain: gender roles do not apply to them they are beyond any shred of a comprehensible gender identity they just do as they please without any labels they simply just are ren and stimpy

#ren and stimpy #rempy #ren hoek #stimpson j cat #ren #stimpy #personal posts #hope nobody takes offense to this btw im just rambling abt gender stuffs with them being transgender myself n all #my stance on labels just boils down to whatever u feel fits u better go for it. only u get to decide what is right for u. #if u find labels fit u and u wanna have vague ones or maybe more specifc labels or even very hyperspecific ones then do that 👍 #or if u find labels simply dont fit u and u dont want to use any at all bc thats what youre most comfortable with then that also is good 👍 #<- just explaining myself here bc this is a bit more of a public blog so i wanna make myself more clear than have my words be twisted 👍 #anyways um yea. ren and stimpy t4t. #im personally more for them being t4t with more specific labels but them also just having no labels i fuck w/ as well. #might make a post abt that soon

[ugisfeelings]

Actually, I regret that ask. I don’t want to excuse the anthropologists and linguists, and thinking back over what I wrote that’s kind of what it sounded like I was saying. That is not what I meant to say.

,I’ve always found Kroeber allowing the Smithsonian to take Ishi’s brain after death disturbing and unforgivable, but I think it’s easy to simplify the story of Ishi’s years at Berkeley.

Gerald Vizenor, an Anishnaabe scholar of Native American studies at Berkeley has written a lot about Ishi, and his life at Berkeley, and about the choices he made about how he presented himself and how he told Yana-Yahi stories.

There was a terrible imbalance of power inherent in the dynamic where Ishi was living in essentially a foreign culture and needed to rely on Kroeber, Sapir, and the others, but at the same time he was also invested in their project of “preserving” his language and culture. (Of course salvage ethnography does not actually preserve culture— recording isn’t enough. You need living, thriving people, and you need to dismantle colonialism.)

hi! thank you for writing and if it is okay to publish, i did not interpret your reply as an excuse for anyone and upon rereading my own post addendum, realize i myself did not responsibly articulate ishi’s time at berkeley with all the proper historical contingencies and respect i had wanted to. yes you’re right, ishi’s actual story is much more complicated than just the set of discourses i referenced and i was careless and obfuscatory in my shorthand (’studied,’ ‘specimen,’ ‘display’-- these were not the contemporary language to describe his tenure there until after death n i shouldve said/cited more). im glad you brought up gerald vizenor bc he was among the first to propose renaming a uc building after ishi, and i wish i had thought to at least link his incisive essay, “ishi obscura” (2001). anyways there’s much to address that i took for granted in my post, and i hope i can take this as an opportunity to clarify a bit here and direct to more sources—

first, to explain my own point of entry into this ‘discourse,’ i initially came of awareness about ishi’s story in 2020-- namely during the messy back-and-forth abt removing kroeber’s name from berkeley’s anth hall, to which my anthro/lit friends n i closely followed from the east coast as we engaged in our own institutional battles against [redacted]. much of the blog posts, internal documents, op-eds, and other journalistic coverages are still up online, which i revisited while drafting the post. they formed a lot of the more recent conservative “scholarly” perspectives insisting on ishi’s so-called happy “celebrity” status and kroeber’s “disordered mourning” decision to remove ishi’s brain, which i found myself unconsciously arguing w/ within the post lol (this is all from nancy scheper-hughes). this obvs came at the expense of fleshing out ishi’s own participation in sharing his cultural knowledge and hermeneutical agency in narrativizing his life story, but vizenor and norman denzin (building on vizenor’s ishi and the wood ducks, which i dont have a linked copy for) have made critical efforts to recuperate and deconstruct those figurations.

i did write up a longer summary abt the impact of ishi’s death on the kroeber family, which was indeed devestating for kroeber and which leguin was likely most intimately impressed by and thus likely affected her public discussion later on, since she was born long after ishi’s death. i deleted it bc there’s a plethora of (understandably) sympathetic explanations for the kroeber family’s ‘silence’ on ishi, and i didnt think it productive to rehash scheper-hughes’ already tortured, naval-gazing apologia circulating on behalf of kroeber (and  which the kroeber sons themselves vociferously protested in their edited volume together). i can link some of the 2020 coverage but imo there are better and yes more ‘nuanced’ discussions of kroeber’s legacy not coming from a white woman anthropologist terrified of the ‘cancel culture’ mob.

and as you pointed out, there exists long and rich traditions of rigorous, indigenous-based critiques emanating from anthropology and linguistics. the traumatic conditions that kroeber, the boaisian school, and salvage ethnography emerged from and of their own fraught interventions into racial discourses at the time. ishi’s relationship with kroeber and their posthumous representations has been extensively re-evaluated, re-staged, etc--including kroeber’s sons editing their own collection of essays in 2003 after ishi’s repatriation. more recently, indigenous visions: rediscovering the world of franz boas (edited 2018) curates provocative perspectives from indigenous & black scholars.

finally-- i dont have a bg in literature nor do i read leguin’s fictional writing extensively by any means so i cant speak too much further abt her literary development and its critical reception aside from the anthropologists’  perspective (rip). i think my suggestions abt leguin’s latent politics came off as polemical and ungenerous, but i do consider myself indebted to her essays n shorter works for introducing me to anarchist politics and humanist inquiry in anthro. i recommend her books to students curious abt speculative fiction and radical worldmaking (which we should continue to do btw, learning abt kroeber should encourage us to read leguin not put her off), which is why i think it’s critical we not only explicitly "acknowledge” ishi as i concede leguin did (altho i rlly did use those examples to highlight how thin those mentions are but would b interested in more substantial writing on the matter given her brothers’ involvement) but encourage an analytical repertoire to think with the larger politics of representing ishi’s lifestory as intimately bound up in leguin’s own reckoning with civilizational-racial discourses and indigenous epistemologies... and perhaps to exercise some caution abt potentially espoused universalisms (there r some rlly interesting altho idk how persuasive anthro-based rebuttals against fedric jameson’s historicist analysis of her work). idt we should b as concerned abt morally evaluating her writing for evidence of settler ‘complicity’ and ‘exploitation’ (i semi-regret using that language now in the context of leguin’s own mediations), as i am abt how we should understand how leguin’s proximity to colonial abuse is inflected textually and animates the political horizons of her own literary narrations-- and our reception of it. it rlly is not abt her anymore but how we interpret certain so-called silences (again, not always ‘bad’ or complicit)--which is why im drawn to jameson’s ‘critique’ prev bc unless ive been misreading it completely (note 2 reread), actually appreciates n takes seriously the conscious world-production moves made by leguin’s the dispossessed and id would like to see a similar literary treatment of leguin’s anth debts too.

#free to engage further but i work until 6pm but idk when ill see it loll #let me know if u want this deleted

[ryuusjacket]

okay so i wanted to share this post that i made a while back from my personal nsfw blog but i feel kinda embarrassed just reblogging it here and showing off the url to that blog publicly (i. literally have like 2 maybe 3 followers on this blog so far lmao) even tho like. i Do share the url w ppl who i trust and who Want to read long ass posts that go into indepth descriptions of my sexual identity, my sexual health, my desires/feelings with regards to sex, and my experiences w sex (w myself bc idk how to initiate a sexual encounter w another human being). you're welcome to dm me for the url if ur Really interested in reading turbo tmi content (it is all text btw. idk how to take nudes so those don't exist sorry)

ANYWAY i sometimes do thought dumps on there that involve nsfw topics like smut fanfic n stuff, so i've tried to brainstorm for my planned sskk fic on there before and well i actually found a wordy one i did where i rlly tried to explain in detail just exactly i Want to create and accomplish w this fic idea of mine. and even just re-reading the post myself, i found it to be very concise and illustrative of my goal for the fic's overall mood and tone. it was a very well-needed reminder for me to read my thought process from a month or so back when i was a bit more hyped to begin this project.

so yeah! anyway im just gonna copy and paste the whole damn post here bc i think it's an interesting read and good presentation of my inner thoughts wrt to what i'm hoping to write (hopefully) someday soon. and really... this fic idea is still barely in its infancy like there's still SO MUCH left to brainstorm and plan out like fuck!!! it's still too early to even start an outline doc (and that's like one of my fave parts of the fic writing process)

oh and some background context: a few months ago there was an event on twitter/ao3 (not sure if here on tumblr? i unfortunately don't follow many or any bsd/sskk blogs at ALL yet) for bottom akutagawa week which was HEAVEN for me 🥰🥰🥰 literally could not have been a better event to appeal to my interests in this fandom i s2g. and i got my hopes up that maybe i could write a lil fic in time to share during the week but that unfortunately didn't happen. anyway here's the post:

so i might not be able to write the bsd smut fic i was initially hoping to publish during the bottom aku fan week this week... but that doesn't mean i have to give up on this fic project completely! if anything now i don't have to worry about meeting an irrefutable deadline and i can technically do anything i want. so yeah i still wanna write this fic.

but first. i have to figure out What The Fuck i'm gonna write lmao cause i still don't fucking know. i was Intending to do a < 4k word one-shot fluffy getting together that somehow... transitions into a sex scene. and i still wanna do that... but i just. don't rlly have any specific detail or image or moment or dialogue line in mind to start building a story from. AND LIKE yeaH i know that sounds dumb cause it's like. if i don't have ANYTHING fantasized yet then WHY AM I EVEN BOTHERING to start this fic at all!?

.......im not really sure tbh lmao

nah it's cause i love these dudes and i wanna write something for them and interact w the sskk fan community.

i literally just. need to figure out the BARE BONES premise to this dang fic. like where tf is it gonna take place? is it mid/post-mission? is it at one of their flats? also WHERE are they gonna HAVE SEX???? im actually a big fan of sex scenes happening in non-conventional places (e.g. some dusty ass room in an abandoned building they were investigating or in a public restroom oR FUckinG in an airplane holy shit i haven't seen that one done yet lmao MILE HIGH CLUB ONE-SHOT LETS GOO) but yea idk maybe i should just. keep it simple and do what every other fic does and let them get down at ryuu's place in his luxuriously huge bed (that hasn't canonically been shown, let alone wherever he lives)

i should AT LEAST settle on how fast this fic is gonna be paced. tbh i kinda Always prefer sskk's first time being a bit... feverish and rushed. it just suits them best. maybe there’s a little angst or miscommunication of feelings/intentions thrown in before they Eventually get their shit/feelings together. but anyway i don’t wanna write that lmao that’s too complicated (but like. yeah. these are two Very complicated (i.e. traumatized) guys with a VERY complicated relationship so. yeah it’s actually kinda rare/weird to imagine things working out Too smoothly for them tbh). 

while objectively that complicated/messy/aggressive type shit is their Brand, i would still like to keep things soft and gentle and Nice. that stuff is Not Impossible w these two ofc. it’s... tricky, but def possible. and i wanna achieve That. a getting together that is soft, hesitant, shy, and puts a heavy emphasis on Both of these men’s inexperience wrt romance and sex (that. is. my. Shit. they are both virgins and absolutely clueless and i Refuse to accept anything other than that. ......okay no... that’s not rlly true... basically all of my fave fics have a somewhat experienced atsushi and that’s okay bc like. how else is he gonna be able to Take Care of ryuu if he doesn’t already have an idea of how to take care of someone during sex? anyway ryuu is the most virginal virgin of all virgins to exist THAT IS INDISPUTABLE!!!!!)

so. i guess what i’m wondering is... how fast can i manage to pace the flow of the story while still keeping it soft overall. cause i don’t feel like writing a super super hot n filthy sex scene that’s charged and exhilarating and just a fucking blur of fucking. i wanna write feely, emotional sex. an aching intimate exchange of trust between them, still laced w hesitance and anxiety and sheer disbelief that this is really happening and that they can have this. both of them express unwavering consideration for each other’s comfort, constantly asking for consent and reassuring the other that “yes, i want this. yes, that feels good. yes yes yes.” they’re both taking careful, yet still enthusiastic, steps together. TENDERNESS is my ultimate goal here.

so yeah anyway i’ll try to keep thinking about this and hopefully i can actually come up w some ideas that i wanna implement into whatever this fic eventually becomes. just haven’t had enough time.... or horniess.... to get down to some real brainstorming yet lmao

[saintqueer]

Hi, this is gonna be a few asks but i just wanted to thank you and other blogs for bravely speaking out your minds when it comes to weirdness surrounding harry/his team. I think this is a breath of fresh air in this very 'unlarrie' climate in that taking a notice of any sign that suggests H has apparently been making some decisions that doesn’t line up with the way H has been fighting against the image he had been burdened with when he was only 16 yrs old has made into a larrie sin in the last few years.

It is not my place to blame anyone but I just want to share my observation that some larries have been playing a huge role in creating this atmosphere by not putting forward any reasonable argument for the weirdness but only labelling anyone that has different reading on the situation than theirs as ‘twitter larrie’ or ‘illogical’ or going a step forward with claims that has no basis like people having no grasp on ‘adult business’. This won’t be so bothersome if their entire argument won’t be resting on H’s successfully marketed -within the fandom- closeness with his so-called manager slash bff slash side-kick whilst disregarding the words coming out of Harry’s mouth, like brushing off H’s snarky comments about Jeff as jokes. I’m sorry this is the same as antis believing H has has genuine relationship with his beards bc of ‘the close proximity’ and certain narratives magically making their way into the fandom chatter. Jeff and certain people didn’t make into icloud hack that is the epitome of Harry Styles tm to not make self-proclaimed levelheaded people side-eye the whole thing.

Also, I’m baffled that they so readily believe that H or Rob S are being truthful when it is claimed that H has been the freest he has been in print media, putting all the blame for these questionable choices on H shoulders. Yeah H’s image has been the most something alright since jeff came into his life but freedom wont unfortunately be my choice of adjective for this, i would say it is ‘straight-sex crazed rockstar’. I’m livid that they stripped him of his personality and created this blank canvas with splashes of hetero here and there, from my perspective after being their fans since 2012 I have never been felt so distant to Harry’s public image the way I have been feeling for the last few years, anytime I get to witness H being genuine I feel like I bump into my dearest friend I couldn’t see for years.

People, especially some larries, need to realize that H is unfortunately nothing but a cash cow to the likes of Columbia and Full Stop, anything related to his image -sorry to say this but even a little bit of freedom that H gets to not label his sexuality- is there to make money for these people, they don’t care for H’s right to express himself.

I can’t not mention this as well, some people are under the impression that H has a give and take rship with these people to be more himself but if that is the case I’d love for them to explain how H has been reduced to ‘queer-baiting womanizer’ with no talent -bc lets be honest nobody gets to hear beyond that any of his songs is about that woman or this woman now with howard i imagine nastiness would be tenfold- that his record label buy his success.

Anyway thank you guys for being here, I have been seeking a safe place for myself that won’t make me feel like I’m crazy to think H has in fact not been pleased with the situation he is, I’m so glad I came across your blog and it opened up a whole new world for me.

ps: I sent this as seperate parts but tumblr didn't let me finish -i blame jeff, sorry for busying your inbox.

i have very little to add here as this is so well-articulated. the environment that has been created surrounding the beliefs about H's supposed 'freedom' has made this fandom a breeding ground for rads. people have been turning on harry left and right for the past three years because of this way of thinking being pushed. perhaps because people are just too terrified to face that where we are now is just as bad as where we were then.

one direction was at the height of their fame, money-making, and, yes, even their creative abilities when they were so strictly controlled and abused. anyone claiming harry is an adult now and therefore can't be as restricted and mistreated as we claim because "he is an adult now" is absolutely full of shit (britney spears is turning 40!!!!).

the only identifiable difference between now and 1d is that harry's queerness is being commodified and used to make him even more sexually 'interesting' to straight women instead of just being plain hidden. why can't people see this is not the harry we know? they could see it with 1d? they can see it still with louis when he still can't even acknowledge the rainbow light projects or the flags? but not harry.

#i hope more people see the light #that harry needs us JUST AS MUCH as louis does #harry is just as trapped as louis and im exhausted by people pushing this idea #that louis is somehow more heavily closeted and controlled than harry #just because people are making money off of harry's queerness #anon

[juminsqrincess]

RFA + saeran’s petnames headcannons

GENDER NEUTRAL 

something small to start the blog off hehe~ here are the RFA’s and saeran’s (minus v because i literally haven’t played his route or looked at him HJGHGJ sorry-) favourite pet names to call you: (minor spoilers for saeran)

yoosung:

not gonna lie, poor baby yoosung is probably the one *being* called the pet names most of the time; but after a while he does start to get more comfortable and less anxious and flusterable (is that word? LMAO) when giving affection to the MC. he starts off very slowly, calling you the pet names when you’re both sleepy, or when you’re focused on a game with him, so you don’t notice it too much (though his face still reddens in anticipation to your reaction) and then pet names become a more natural thing for him, and just start slipping out- especially if you give him a positive reaction because he just wants to see you happy! 

pet names include: - honey (delivered with a cheesy grin, he thinks he’s all smooth and classy) - bubby (literally just baby but with extra yoosung sweetness added - it started out as something he used in his sleepy voice and then you picked up a liking to it- it still kind of embarrasses him)  - birdie (likes the concept of you being all small and fluffy- *is small and fluffy*- yoosung’s version of the classic pet name ‘dove’) - snuggles (definitely WAS NOT the name of his old teddy bear that he MAYBE still keeps as a SECRET to cuddle when he misses you-) - his little pogchamp

zen:

pet name GOD - shamelessly started using pet names as SOON as you two hit it off, this man is a pet name machine he has TRICKS UP HIS SLEEVE. bro. he uses as many pet names as he can to figure out your weak spots and then TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THIS KNOWLEDGE. it boosts his ego to see you flustered because of him of course - though he wants you to feel special too! he has a few favourites listed here with special meaning~

pet name include: - babe/jagi/jagiya (duh bro?? its like canon or sum) - beautiful/handsome/gorgeous - whatever suits you most~ (NEED I SAY MORE? SOMEONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS HIM WILL ONLY BE WITH SOMEONE EQUALLY AS GOOD-LOOKING?? he also give constant compliments be warned) - cutie (wholesome zen moment) - good-lookin’ (said as he casually pulls you in by the waist to kiss your forehead, wow zen you’re so smoo0th) -  sexy (IT’S THE BEAST BRO)

jaehee:

unfortunately none of us have really seen jaehee’s more lovey-dovey side in the game - she probably prefers calling you by your name the most, and she speaks it almost like it’s a praise, but the odd time she calls you pet names just as a way to appreciate you, or to remind you that she cherishes you. does it very casually and naturally, she’s quite a steady-paced girl so she needn’t force pet names to come, they just do whenever the moment calls for it really.

pet names incluude: - love  - darling (you are dear to herr!! she’s so busy all the time - moments with you are cherished and precious - you’re like a pocket of hope and sunshine in such a grey world full of deadlines and schedules... someone she can truly relax with!) - beloved - dear(est) - sweetheart (BCS. YOU. ARE. SO SWEET! you’re always looking out for her and being so patient with her as she works - you have a heart of gold, and she admires how kind you are to the RFA members - she’s truly lucky to have won a place in your heart <3)

jumin:

this man. this man is so nonchalantly smooth. he doesn’t even know it - or maybe he does - you can’t tell because he’ll just slip in a pet name mid-convo and make you mELT. when he gets soft... pet names are maybe one of his favourite things to tell you, because he gets to show you his more vulnerable and affectionate sides. he uses pet names as a way to spoil you - and spoil you he does because HIS VOICE *IS HEAVEN*, and the light kisses and touches he places on you as he speaks to you so fondly are a BIIG BONUSS. it takes him a while to start using more ‘personalized’ pet names - he sticks to the generic ones at first, they’re classy and simple - but after a while he conjures up newer ones out of his sheer emotion for you - only to be used in private though.

pet names include:  - the usual at first, dear, beloved, honey, love - AND THEN BOOM: precious (you are the most precious thing in his life HANDS DOWN. gets so sentimental when he uses it aswell - will whisper it to you before bed or when he’s trying to comfort you - nothing in this world compares to how much you mean to him) - kitten (yeah you thought i would stop myself - no.) - mr/mrs/mx* han (after you get married he does this a lot in public - maybe to show off a little bit and see everyone’s surprised faces as he follows it with ‘dear’ or something - he isn’t big into PDA but he has his smug sneaky ways of letting you know that he is thankful to have you) - HIS prince/princess/your majesty/highness: (DUUUDE... he wants the BEST for you - you’ve finally shown him what the wonderful feelings of love do! you hold that power over him at least! ...will kiss your hand when he uses this)

saeyoung:

saeyoung has... stranger more unique ways to show you affection, and the pet names he uses do not escape his whacky tendencies - uses pet names as a way to put a smile on your face and to make you laugh, to see that cute bright smile on your face! of course though, saeyoung has a (small) share of pet names that are more sensical and have some sort of more obvious meaning behind them. he starts off using dumb pet names, then as he gets emotionally attached stops, then he accepts he loves you and starts using really cheesey pet names, theenn he regains some of his happiness with you and becomes more jokey again (WHEW!). 

pet names include: (besides the normal boooring ones /j) - his star (you guided him to his happiness... you shone for him brightly when he had no shine himself - you cheered him up with your beauty and warmth - and you guys did kick ass stuff in his good end like it was a MOVIE or something – also spaaace??) - weird food names - starts off as honey and sweetie pie - gets weird fast... will call you his chip and his nurse pepper ( doctor is reserved for the drink - otherwise it gets confusing) - LOWKEY MAKES FUN OF YOU... if you’re short he’ll call you shortie - if you’re tall he calls you tallie (haha funny.) if you’re blonde he calls you blondie, and if you have freckles or dimples OR GLASSES - consider it your new name. also starts calling you after the things you wear - if you wear chains, he calls you chains, if you wear dramatic makeup, he starts calling you a diva - will call you noob i’m sorry - sweet cheeks (SEVEN WHICH CHEEKS-) - boople snoot (yes.) - his galaxy (the seven alternative to my world)

saeran:

okay so - it’s assumed that saeran is actually a DID system but i’m writing for good end saeran because um - lets be honest the alters were not the most healthy and probably wouldn’t have been doing any pet name calling (ray being too insecure, black suit saeran and unknown... being black suit saeran and unknown? it would have been sarcastic and mean)

after all of the hardships you guys had gone through... saeran was TERRIFIED that you would leave because why on earth would you want to stick by with him i mean?? all he had known his whole life is literally mistreatment he thought you were too good to be true. but you stuck by and you gave him what he had needed for so long - you always made him feel safe and he finally belonged somewhere, felt like the world wasn’t ALWAYS out for him, he could breathe easier now. very reluctant at first - messing up with you especially gave him paralyzing fear. but then you showed him such loyalty, he looked at you and saw that yes you made mistakes, that you were human, and you reminded him that it was okay to be human too. so slowly he trusted that you would accept him being affectionate back - he wanted to appreciate you like you appreciated him - despite all of the flaws he saw in himself constantly. (WHOO I LOVE SAERAN SO MUCH OMG CAN YOU TELL??)

pet names include: - angel (do i need to explain this?? you’ve saved his life - his future, everything. he sees you with a halo around your head constantly, even at your darkest moments, because he’s been there before too!) - flower (at first glance may seem like a cute thing because ray liked gardening - which sure part of it is that - but moreover he talks about your beauty when he uses this pet name, about how happy you make him, he sees you as someone delicate and gentle yet at the same time someone bold and bright - someone that the world NEEDS) - sunshine (you brighten his day, his month, his year, his life - aaand well a garden does need sunshine doesn’t it? you keep him going when he feels like giving up) - love and dear (too classic not to be included with a man that wore fancy suits JHGH)  - sweetheart/sweetie/honey (along with his big sweet tooth - he thinks you’re the sweetest person he’s ever met) - sugarplum (pls let me have this)

*mx is like m(r)s and mr but for non-binary folks :)

#imsorryvlovers #imtryingokay #mysticmessenger #mysmes #mysticmessengerheadcannons #mysticmessengerheacanons #mysticmessengerhcs #mysmeshc #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcannons #mystic messenger 707 #mystic messenger seven #mystic messenger zen #mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger saeran #mystic messenger ray

[chokemeanakin]

Hello the love of my life, how are you? I’m here to annoy you as always and I was tagged to ask questions but I wanted to add a little bit of ✨spice✨ so these are my questions. I love you so much

How do you get your inspiration?

If you could explain your love language, how would you explain it and which name would you use?

Which are your favourite authors from here?

Which are your favourite fics?

What’s the last thing you read?

Favourite song? Favourite food?

Why is your comfort character your comfort character?

When do you realize you found your comfort character?

Which things do you have in common with your comfort character?

Bye! <3

BABE u are too sweet 🥺 ty for the questions I will answer them now 💖👇🏻:

How do you get your inspiration?

A few ways 😏:

1) getting my heart broken

2) being horny

3) angsty music or going to the theater or reading a really good book

4) the scenarios I make up in my head so I can fall asleep

5) people who send in asks/thoughts to my inbox, y’all are so creative and amazing 💖💖💖

If you could explain your love language, how would you explain it and which name would you use?

Idk much about love languages but i think I took a quiz one time and it was like acts of service and words of affirmation. So yeah I’ll die if you tie my shoe and call me baby 🥺

But also like physical touch... on the down low. only when it’s not sunny outside. don’t ask me to explain that cause I can’t.

Which are your favorite authors from here?

Hmmm I don’t really read from here anymore but they used to be Julia (anakinswhore), she’s on ao3 though as @ anakincanchokemethanks and all of her Star Wars works are on there, she’s also on here as @playlist-library and @mordekaisersbitch

Also @ sunsetkenobi but she’s on ao3 now as @melethwi

and @anakinlove she just knows so much about Star Wars, and she’s a talented artist, and she writes super cute fluff 🥰

There’s probably more I’m forgetting but if you check out my tag #ficrecs you can find ppl I read there

Which are your favorite fics?

Rain Must Fall - anakincanchokemethanks on ao3

A Hard Days Night - anakincanchokemethanks on ao3

After Hours - melethwi on ao3

Alone With You - melethwi on ao3

Shiver - melethwi on ao3

Again there’s definitely more, just check out #ficrecs

What’s the last thing you read?

... 🤭 i actually don’t read much Star Wars anymore. I feel like I’ve seen it all idk 😭

So I’ve been reading a lot of aot fan fiction now for eren and levi oooppsss but ummmmmm @ yagamisdiary has a really good eren ff on wattpad called Parasite yall should go read it it’s soooo good it’s all I read 🙏🏻

Favorite song? Favorite food?

Favorite song ... is a hard one.... I can never choose. so here’s a playlist of my all time favorites, yaknow the ones that never get old and just instantly put me at peace 🥰👇🏻

As for favorite food, either sushi or avocado toast or hot sauce 🙏🏻

Why is your favorite comfort character your comfort character?

Bc he’s pretty and smart and he has a sexy voice and a metal arm and his tiddies are nice and so are his abs and he’s so so tall and he’s like mean but not so mean that it’s awful but like he could be awful if he wanted to, but he’d never be mean to you unless you deserve it because when he loves someone he loves them way too much and I just think he’s cute so yeah 💖

When did you realize you found your comfort character?

Funny story, one of my friends has the same last name as Anakin’s actor and I saw this pic of him when I looked him up:

and I just thought he was super super hot, but I’d never seen Star Wars before, I didn’t even know what the difference between Anakin and Luke was, or Obi-Wan and Han-Solo, and I didn’t know that Anakin was Darth Vader or anything. And then my friend sent an edit of that shirtless scene in rots and I just— I just about busted all over myself ngl 😳🤚🏻

So I finally sat down and forced myself to watch all the movies, basically fell in love with that stupid mf, and a couple months later at the start of quarantine I made this blog and never looked back 🥰🥰🥰

But it was really weird for me ngl, cause like, he’s not even my type. My type is dark hair, dark eyes, hates everyone, quiet, introverted, detests the idea of love.

But Anakin’s like... lighter hair, light eyes, Chad to the Max, loves ppl so much he kills children, mommy’s boy, car nerd, dramatic, etc.

Idk. Something about this mf 🙄🤺🤺🤺

Which things do you have in common with your favorite comfort character?

-both douchebags

-both have anger issues

-both been fucked over one too many times

-both holding on by a thin fucking strand

-both hate children

-both chads 😏

-both love hugs but are too afraid to admit it

-both impatient and are always accusing ppl of things they didn’t do based off of our own insecurities

-both hate meditating but probably should

-both fall in love with things way too quick and way too much

-both a little narcissistic but also hate ourselves

-both like to sip martinis while watching drama unfold

Differences:

-he’s an extrovert and I cry in public situations

-I cry way too much honestly

-but it’s ok cause he’s a wuss for tears

-he’s good under pressure

-he can run a lot without losing his breath

-he can flirt good but I just insult ppl when I try

-he understands mechanics and shit and i’d combust if you asked me to hand u a wrench

-but I can take a straight shot of tequila while I think he’d vomit if he didn’t pour 8 cups of fruit mixer in 😏

-I think he would tastefully use swears, but I just let em fly

-could probably beat me in an arm wrestling match until I make him let me win and then I’d be happy

-this isn’t making sense anymore and you didn’t even ask me for differences 🤣🤣🤣

•••This was fun!! Thank you Leah 💖 I too am counting down the days until Halloween, you know what’s up!!! Best holiday ever 🥰🎃•••

#also ur not annoying!!! #I love u bb 💖💖💖 #let’s talk #soft ani thoughts

[gringolet]

that italian?

okay okay okay i think it happened long enough ago that i can dish about the drama. she changed her url and im not including it anyway so its fine.

prepare for a fuckin. essay in responss to a TWO WORD ask but anyay

so once upon time there was an italian who hated children and loved reylo. she also hung out in the arthuriana tag and got a bunch of asks about it. so one day some poor anon comes in and asks if she has any trans headcanons for arthurian characters, and she, instead of being a normal person and saying like, no, she goes off about how trans characters in fanfic is forced representation and she cant talk about trans people bc surgery is triggering for her.

found this in the archives lol. so i rbd politely explaining that while it was fine to not have trans hcs, her justifications for it were a little offensive.

hey i dont want to start discourse or anything but i see ur asks in the tag a lot and i wanted to politely address this. firstly obviously no one is under any obligation to hc things, and headcanons and fandom is not activism. if you’d just said “no, not really” it would b fine. i mean, cringe of u, but fine. but u make a couple of points here i want to look at a bit critically. then there is “I don’t like when headcanons are pushed up as ~representation, especially when… Ehm, it’s just fandom stuff?” i dont want to misinterpret you or put words in your mouth, but the implication that theres no need for trans rep in fandom and dismissal of that is a very cis take. My initial read of your intention there was a complaint of ‘why should something like fandom spaces, which are for fun and not serious, be filled with non fun serious (bad) trans stuff that i have to see when im trying to enjoy myself.’ now that could be incorrect, you were a bit vague here. if that is what you meant, i think you maybe should examine why you feel that way. if it isnt, im unclear on what exactly youre trying to say here. the idea that trans hcs are performative wokeness and “representation” in fandom is completely ignoring the actual trans people making and wanting them. there is so vanishingly little representation of trans people in actual media and even less thats good, and i think implying trans hcs are being pushed on people and fandom for, ~representation (a world of meaning in the ~ i shant speculate on) is very dismissive and ignorant of that fact. honestly the main thing im troubled by is the idea that trans bodies are inherently disgusting and triggering, which is an incredibly harmful and hurtful idea, and since you yourself acknowledge that trans people and hcs dont predicate surgery i question why you bring it up, except as a justification for disconfort rooted in unexamined prejudice. im not accusing you of being a terf or anything, i dont believe you meant harm by this or have bad intentions, and im definitely not saying anyone has to hc anything. it was the uncomfronted insidiousness of your justification that concerned me. this is not a personal attack at all, you just have a lot of influence in this fandom space and i wanted to make you aware of some of the surely accidentally harmful things ur saying.

so she flips out and rbs that yelling at me and cursing me out in italian (she moved blogs so i dont have her whole response just bits)

basically she completely derailed the original topic and accused me of calling her a horrible person for her triggers? which i never did and would never do, and then tried to make it a wierd anti v proshipper thing

third: I never said there’s no need of trans hcs in fandoms, BUT I’ve noticed that there’s a tendency of condemning people on the basis of what they ship / the dynamics they write. ( like the infinite discourse about how ‘I ship only mlm enemies to lovers because f/m enemies to lovers are Inherently Bad and Abusive - something I personally heard on Twitter sigh ), so I feel the need to say it. blame the current fandom climate.

and were like wow, this lady is unhinged, so we look around her blog and find a. a lot of stuff like saying its racist to not like incest?? and that italians arent white?? also shes a swerf?? and kind of deniel italian colonialsm? and reblogs from a bunch of out and out terfs} there was more but this isnt a callout post lol.

valentine lanzelet made a post about this crazy italian we found and she flipped out on him (this is one of several cursey italian tag rants)

roughly means: GO SHIT YOURSELF (italian alternative to go fuck you), RACIST TERF IS YOUR GRANDMOTHER IN A WHEELBARROW (italian saying which does not translate well) AND WHAT HAS ITALIAN COLONIALISM TO DO WITH THIS YOU UGLY SHIT, and anyways lancelot sucks

(translated by claudio beheaded)

anyway so then. and this is when it gets unhinged. she goes on this server me and a lot of my mutuals n friends r in, camelot, and starts complaining about me.

(in red is the server admin, who was lovely) i asked her to move this convo to dms if she must bc it was rude to bring drama into the server, and she refused, and started insisting that she was being bullied and just wanted to be left alone, so i was like okay lets all block each other and move on, and she refused, continuing to defend everything she was being criticized for

they also said claudio was making them look bad by translating their rants which like... queen if that made them look bad they were already a bad look.

so she keeps pinging people and replying to shit despite everyone else at this point begging her to just drop it and call it a stalemate

imagine this but around n around for like an hour. also she repeatedly got me and valentine confused it was super funny. also she claimed it was an invasion of her privacy for valentine to go on her public blog and look at the things she openly said and rbd there

so the server got put in slow mode and she KEPT GOING even though everyone was just begging her to stop and not even responding

as u can see, around this point we just started spamming her with emoji reactions. she announced she was leaving then went back to arguing a full three times before finally dipping from the server

then she continued complaining about us and calling us puriteens in her tags (trying to make it a proshipper v anti thing i guess lol?)

for literally months before finally remaking. also in that time she got in an argument about how the crusades were fine actually. italianphobia works hard but she works harder i guess

anyway i prolly left out a lot but thats the italian saga

#cw discourse #i guess? #conflict anyway #if any involved have funny things to add go ahead

[zhuhongs]

なんか私の想いが溢れ出した. i went out with some friends last night and every time i go out i always realize just how bad i am at communicating and how bad I am with people. (long meandering post under the cut. feel free to ignore its unfocused and long.. like 2k words under there)

I’ve mentioned this before but I don’t really talk much irl. I don’t talk, I can’t connect properly. Every time I’m out with people I just feel fundamentally, like… different. So a group of my irls friends plus me were going to the movie theatre and I personally really hate movie theatres. I knew we were going to one and prepared myself thinking “oh it’ll be fine bc you'll be with friends, just enjoy their company '' But god I really hate movie theaters. It’s been so long, i forgot how much I really really hated them. They’re so loud and bright. I’d much rather watch a movie at home but tbh I also just don’t like movies bc I can’t sit through them and I can’t focus and I don’t get invested easily and I need to be doing something with my hands at all times. To make matters worse, my friend's friend that I really don’t like came along. I just, I don’t like her. She’s just too loud and attention seeking and childish. Like she says things for a reaction, like rlly not okay things sometimes and I just can’t stand her. like we went to see godzilla vs king kong and then entire movie she kept YELLING "IF THEY DONT KISS I WANT MY MONEY BACK" and i was like... you are 21 yrs old oh my god.. this isnt ur tumblr blog in middle school. shut up. But here’s the thing, I don’t know how to tell her or anyone that. Like I just can’t figure out a good way to say it, so I put up with it. Things like this just make me feel incredibly annoyed. I always talk on here about how if I have an issue with anyone, I’ll just say it like an adult. But in face to face situations I just don’t know how to say things. Well I do know how to say it - it’d be easy.  I just hate having to do it. Like I don't have to say the whole thing about how I don’t like her but when she says like “simp” when she’s nonblack I could just be like. “Hey don’t say that, here’s why” and I’m sure she’d stop. Yet I can’t bring myself to have that one moment of discomfort to tell her to stop yelling in my ear or stop saying things that make me annoyed. I feel useless in a way. ちゃんとできない。 ちゃんと伝えない。During the entire movie I was thinking to myself that I’d rather be home watching a drama by myself and doing hw. I also hate going out for other reasons. I hate being seen. I hate my appearance. I know I don’t have to be pretty, I only need to exist for me. Like wow, I just have so many body image issues, and they all manifest heavily as soon as I go out in public. 

But afterwards I changed my mind a bit. There was a moment where we were outside running around in the street and it reminded me of that one scene in AIB episode one with Chota, Karube, and Arisu in the street and I was rlly like… wow… maybe human connection really is good. It doesn’t matter if I’m pretty or good at talking, sometimes, to laugh and be silly wth others is all you need to make your night. Just one moment, just one person really is all it takes. We all went out for dinner afterwards and it was really really fun. I enjoyed it, there really is something about eating with someone that brings you closer to them.  

The entire time though, I didn’t talk much. I don’t really know when to cut in in a conversation to a point where it feels right. I feel like by saying my piece I’m interrupting others just to say something that wasn’t really of any use. Really, I prefer silence with others. I’m bad at talking in social situations but I’m great at talking in classes and at work because of the context. Because I’m expected to engage there. The pretense is different. Like you’re supposed to contribute in those places. It’s acceptable to talk there. But for me, it doesn’t really feel acceptable to just share about myself like that in a social group setting. I wish I could always communicate like how I am doing here. It’s so much nicer online. I get to post my full complete thoughts without bothering any of you. My words can easily be disregarded and just flipped through. It’s passive. Posting is passive, talking is active. And sometimes, people don't really want to talk to others, they just want to say their piece. Like when talking about their problems, often we just want to say it and the act of saying those words is all we need. We don’t want input, it annoys us. I don’t like to cut in, and I can never find the right words to say. Even right now, none of this feels like it’s coming out correctly. None of my words feel like they’re coming out correctly nowadays, but this is the only way I know how to be. If I can’t post my thoughts on here, even if they come out crooked and ugly, I may never speak again. I have to keep talking, and typing, and trying otherwise I’ll never get any better. And I know it’s okay to do things wrong, but still, I can’t let myself do that. Again, I do fine when I’m at work and school. I’m functional, normal, you would never be able to tell how much is going on in my head. But in private, I may never speak again if I wasn’t spoken to. 

When I was younger, around 12 or 13, I remember something a friend posted on my first online community. They posted, quite honestly, that they never wanted to meet anyone on there irl. No matter how close we are, it would never be the same IRL. I didn’t get that sentiment at the time. To me, why wouldn’t you want to see your friends everyday in person? That would be great. But I think I get it now. I’m afraid that if I ever met any of you someday it wouldn’t be the same. I’m not really the same in person. I’m bad at talking, bad at connecting. I’m not a proper person. But I feel like that’s okay. It’s okay to just exist on here as I am. While my friend was talking to me on our drive back to her place (we carpooled) she was telling me about her life. And she was apologizing like “oh I’m sorry I keep talking about myself” but quite honestly I was glad to just be able to listen. At some point my friend kept asking me what was up so I decided maybe I’ll tell them the arcane secrets of how I’ve been into guardian and how all the characters rlly hit for me for personal reasons. That was really the only thing I thought that was of note to tell her about. Really I don’t think I’ve done or felt much new since I last talked to her. But as I was trying to explain I just wasn’t doing it right. She just didn’t get it and trying to talk about something like that just made me embarrassed to the point where I just dropped it and tried to just say, “oh yea, you got it, that’s it.” and move along bc I didn’t think she’d get it. She’s the type that doesn’t really get how you can make meaningful connections online. So whenever I try to talk to her about certain things, it just doesn’t register. I’ve learned to choose my battles. I didn’t really think she wanted to get it. So I didn’t tell her. I tried telling her about stuff I liked in the past and I just always stop halfway through. I can’t communicate properly. I can’t speak in a way that I think is worthy of being heard. So I don’t talk. It frustrates me to no end. It feels like everyone else can do it so easily, that I’m the wrong one. 

I had another friend from Uni message me about something and she was like “so what’s new with you, twin” (we have similar bdays and get along well so we call each other that) and tbh I just, didn’t know what to tell her. I had talked to her in a long time, so things had happened but nothing so easily said that I could just tell her over text. SO I just was like “work, school, yk how it is” and yea. I really am the one choosing not to let people in. It frustrates me to no end but I don’t know what a good starting point is ever. I feel like I should just send all my IRLS my long reflection essays next time they wanna know what's up. All the secrets to why I am the way I am are in there.

I’m scared of telling people how I feel about anything. IRL when I say something I often speak quietly, moreso like I’m only talking to myself. People often don’t hear what I had to say. And I don’t repeat myself. If it was something someone didn’t hear, in my head, that means that it wasn’t important enough to repeat. I’m afraid of talking and being misunderstood and never being able to be interpreted the way I mean. I want to convey all my thoughts correctly the first time. So i don’t repeat myself, not bc I’m mad at the person who didn’t hear me. It’s not about them, it’s about me. I don’t believe my words to be worth repeating. I don’t want anyone to stop the conversation for me. Just keep going, it won’t come out the right way anyways. I was taking a uquiz a week or so ago and one question was “what power do you want” and one option was smth like the power of comprehension. Which would make it so every time you spoke, that person would understand you the way you intended. That is the most ideal power for me to ever possess like it was unreal. I’m still thinking about that quiz. It was good.

I know that I’m worth being listened to and that my words are valuable enough to be heard but I don’t want to do that. I’d rather listen. I only like talking when it’s safe like it is here. I’m trying my best to get better though. I keep saying that I want to be a proper adult. I want to live right and without regrets and i really think communication is key to that. I’m trying. It’s hard but I’m trying. But still, I can only talk here a lot.  I can’t talk any other way. I don’t tell my friends about my interests, it embarasses me to no end. 

Being on here is comforting though. When I talk about stuff like this, I always see a lot more people than usual like my post. I feel like you can all relate. Really, people are more similar than not. We all have very similar burdens and pains and baggage. It’s comforting, I'm not alone. My words might be able to help someone. Because when all of you talk about the same things, i also feel seen and comforted and since we are so similar, then the same is true for the things I say.

But anyways, I did a lot of listening tonight, and it reflects the sentiment above. People are the same. I was listening to my friend’s friend talking about her mom earlier and the entire time, I really resonated with what she was saying. I got it. Her mom’s situation was really similar to my own mom’s situation in the past. And I was just amazed at how I barely knew this girl but I felt really similar to her. I saw her differently after learning all that. It was really a great thing. ANd on the way home, my friend was telling me about her life recently and some things andi really understand what she was going through. I didn’t say anything, because again, I don't like to interrupt. And when I try and be like ‘oh me too, it's the same for me too” I feel like I’m derailing. I know I’m not but I really think she needed to say her piece. So I let her. But the entire time, I thought about the things in my life that were the same as what she was feeling and it was beautiful. Life and human bonds are beautiful. Even when they are hard and messy and annoying, people all want the same things. They want to be loved and seen and understood. And in those moments when we feel seen, it’s worth more than any of those complicated feelings that come along with it. Not to be cheesy but wow… in order to reap the rewards of being loved, you really do need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known. I was glad I didn’t stay home watching a drama. I was glad that I went out. No matter how alienated I feel from others, there’s still merit in being around other people. No matter how much others may misunderstand you and annoy you, they are almost always worth more than being alone. That;s because deep down, we’re all the same.

I’m not good at reminding myself that. As I said here, I don’t let people see me. I don’t let people in, I’d rather keep them out. I’m a picky, boring person. I don’t like people easily and I don’t tell them much. I stay inside my own head and I don’t like to come out. I was raised that way. But people are worth it. Communication is worth it, no matter how hard. It’s all worth it. I need to try harder so I can be a person who is able to see and enjoy more beauty in this world. I spent my hr long drive home listening to music and ruminating on these thoughts, trying to plan out all the words I wanted to say here. I don’t think I said any of it right. I’m not satisfied with how I write nowadays. But writing, talking, conveying emotions, all of these things are worth doing. So no matter how crooked and awkward it comes out, I will keep doing it. It is my goal. 

#🐌.txt #i wrote this last night bc i had a lot of thoughts driving home and the entire time i was out but they didnt translate well to type #i tried fixing it this morning and its still just off and im sock at reading it so into the void it goes #honestly i could make a playlist to describe my emotiona better at this point but ill never listen to those songs again.. ita just the like #uesterdays vibe #anyways good morning tho.. im gonna make a cup of coffee and take a shower now #i love u all im glad ur here

[snatcher-no-snatching]

I'm going to unfollow in a bit bc I like your blog, but first I want to know why you decided to delete your blog at 1000 followers? If there's a specific reason, maybe you can find a way to meet the reason without deleting your blog

My anxiety, mostly?? Like, idk. The idea of being "popular" has never appealed to me, and while I know 1,000 isn't that many followers, the thought of so many people's attention on me is just... nerve wracking

And if I can be real for a moment, that's a thousand people who all have different perceptions and opinions on me based solely on the information and content I share here. Incomplete perceptions, I might add; it's pretty much impossible for anyone here to truly know me as a person, so there unavoidably going to be assumptions about me to fill in the gaps. And that's a lot of ideas to live up to

I don't know if I'm explaining it right, but it just feels like... online, people who gain enough attention become more of an idea rather than a complex, three dimensional human being. I don't like the idea of people having these... false interpretations of me, so I do my best to wear my heart on my sleeve but that can only do so much??? I dunno, this whole thing probably doesn't make much sense and idk how to really articulate it, but the TL;DR is that I 1) don't like expectations, 2) I don't like attention, and 3) I don't want to change myself to meet the standard of how someone with a lot of public attention should act

#popcorn8784 #asks #I'm running on like 3 hours of sleep my articulation skills aren't at their best atm #but that's the ghist of it I guess

[painted-crow]

I haven't been on tumblr in a hot century so it feels a little weird to be writing a submission to you... but I just bingeread most of this blog and your way of explaining the shc system is so gloriously comprehensible that I really want to pour my brain out at your feet and have you explain the bits to me.

I hope life is treating you well and thank you for the awesome blog you run. The way you describe things and the way you help people sort themselves is clear and clever and so very kind of you to do, and that's what I appreciates about you. :)

(This was a chunk of a submission from someone who ended up sending in a second version that I answered in depth, but the fan mail portion from this first version was so sweet that it seems mean to just delete it. So here it is, as a #cutie post. 😊)

#cutie #submission

[syubub]

Rae, I’m seriously so happy that you are back 💕💕💕

This whole drama with bee made me feel really down for some reason... I think the thing that made people being a bit aggressive towards her was the fact that she was sharing her experiences as a universal truth. Even if it wasn’t her intention her way to talk made that impression, as if all this time the readings we’ve been seeing were total crap and now the “queen” (lmao this is not the right word, but I couldn’t think of any other sorry) came to finally show us the truth. Literally all the other readers puts a warning on their posts that they shouldn’t be taken as a FACT. So, even if she seemed sweet when talking in private she gave to some of us a, somehow, arrogant vibe (Again, even if wasn’t her intention it definitely seemed like that).

Now my opinion (as if anyone asked 🤪) I honestly don’t believe in the things she says... seriously even though I’m a big defender that anything is possible the backstory that she gave us seem so... “magical” to be truth. It literally looks like a fanfic (no offence bee). “I used to see 7 faces and one day I recognised them”, “Shooky has been to a bts show and felt like everything was slowing when she saw Yoongi in person” (plus at first she said that Yoongi didn’t noticed her for obvious reasons and then after she said he felt it and looked at her and gave a shy smile like ?????) “Part of my life path is to help them to find each other”, “I could recognise the soulmates if they messaged me”. Seriously, this is too much for me, it’s looks like the stories I would’ve made up in my bed before sleep when I was 14. And another thing that made me doubt her words was the fact that she said that Shooky and Koya are totally in tune with their spiritual side and guides (im not so sure, but I THINK she once said that Shooky might even do witchcraft) and she can connect with them soooo easily... if that’s so then why create a blog to “find” them and help them because the blog would be a solid proof? If they’re all in tune with each other and their spiritual side why they would need a tarot blog to confirm that they are Yoongi’s and Namjoons soulmates? AND if she wants the soulmates to be safe WHY SHE WOULD CREATE A BLOG AND ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT THEM? Why would she bring the spotlight to them, knowing how toxic and insane some fans can be I’m sure anyone would think TWICE before creating a blog about this.

Anyways, I’m not trying to offend bee or anyone who believes in her words, It’s just this whole situation was a mess and very chaotic. I have been keeping my thoughts to myself because I didn’t felt comfortable saying this to anyone, but since you’re here I decided to say it all here because I trust and appreciate you a lot, you’re also very mature when it comes to sensitive topics, sooo... that’s it. Thanks for reading my long ask I really needed to put this out of my chest 💕

The whole not putting disclaimers and stuff is definitely not awesome and there is responsibility for people that do this kind of thing to have disclaimers and to make sure that people don't get the vibe that you are saying it as a universal truth. I've noticed people saying that bee came off as aggressive.

The way bee explained it to me was definitely a lot less magical. Again idk if this was simply because its what they thought I wanted to hear or what but I can find myself agreeing with a lot of the points they made. Essentially explaing that there are earth guides that help soulmates meet and that's what bee claims to be if I'm not mistaken. To me this is just other soulmates (people you meet that help you learn a lesson or help to put you on a path or provide what you need in the moment) I've talked about this a while ago. That's okay. Checks out. I can agree with that. And the other part that their divine mission is essentially to help guide them together and it's more complicated than that. Okay. It's an intresting take but idk it seems harmless? Dreams and visions and stuff. Not gonna knock it at all. Also that they said (I'm paraphrasing) that people have the choice to not be with them (bts) and have free will to do what they do. Cool. I get it.

Thats how bee explained it to me so seeing what other people are saying and comparing it to what I have been given, there's definitely discrepancies but what I don't particularly know is who's end it's on?

I'm just trying to get a better picture and not take one side as true because of my feelings one way or the other.

I know a lot of the stuff that I say also sounds outlandish and "magical" but I always have disclaimers and I do my best to make sure not to claim any of it as fact and say that it's my interpretation bc I can't prove it. No one can.

I do also agree that it's a bit strange to do this on such a public platform?

There's a lot of strange stuff going on and I feel like I just woke up from hibernation and may cave is on fire.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this sticky mess!

#ask

[stereolovers]

ok i hope this isnt weird bc it was a couple days ago BUT i saw ur tags on the post abt ocs and if u want to talk abt ocs i would absolutely love to hear about them!!!!

hi sorry this has taken so long! i keep coming back to it because i’m not entirely sure on how to describe each of them without like... saying too much!

so obviously i’m still working on editing everything, because i keep learning new information whenever i go down a wikipedia rabbithole, and because i’ve accidentally connected the dots many many times, so even though i’ve done a few drafts and stuff i’m still not 100% certain about everything (if things don’t make sense here it’s because i’m absolutely trying my best to not just dump everything about the character)

arlo is my main main character! i’m actually writing this entirely from his perspective, which is a biiiig change from what i’m used to.. but it’s weirdly fun because he’s very fun to write as he has certain ways of speaking (pats myself on the back for this one). he.. originally was a dishonored oc, which is Weird once i look back on that because he’s basically just shittier jindosh. because he can be. it’s a bit hard to explain his character without giving too much away, but since he’s my main Dude, he goes through a lot of good development throughout the story while also (un)knowingly helping everyone else out that he previously fucked up. i don’t want to say that he gets redeemed, because not everyone should be, but he definitely realizes a lot of shit. yeah he’s cool.

ace is actually an older oc of mine that i brought over because this originally wasn’t supposed to be a Big Thing, but she’s here now and i love her slightly more evil personality... as they’re all Bad in some way. i just like antagonists way more so.. everyone’s shitty. she’s like my main character, a little less than arlo, but she’s still very important and shows up the most. she really just Appears. that’s her thing. and also in this universe there is a (somewhat) logical and scientific (not really) explanation for her blue eye

crystal is... something else. her name is inspired from a lady my mom went to school with (she gave me both crystal’s name and will’s). i’m still working on her character, but i enjoy her as she’s kinda the breath of fresh air in this group of determined evil backstory ocs (she’s an antagonist too, as they all are. she’s carefree evil... chaotically loving. yknow? i love her despite the fact that she needs more development.

malachite is one of the most important characters in this, as she’s basically the most level-headed of the group, and really is the brain of the entire story.... she does A Lot. like a lot. everyone (excluding celia and, technically, montgomery) has like a niche of science that they excel in, along with other things. everyone kinda invents something important during this, that helps another character in the future with their plot progression, if that makes sense. and malachite is very very important! she literally creates wireless communication, gps tracking, and with the help of crystal she crafts ‘phones.’ they’re not called phones of course, but she does, and she’s great! she also creates boats! she’s a ship captain and absolutely loves it. crystal & her & ace (they’re kinda all a Group) hang out on her ship frequently, and they’ll just enjoy each other’s company. crystal & her are girlfriends and they’re just wonderful.

will is great, and even though it’s really arlo’s story, he actually goes through the most change throughout. and it’s good change! even if he’s not described to be there, or talking in a scene, chances are he’s actually in the background...he’s like a walking dictionary definition for irony- he absolutely Hates being known and seen and being in crowds, etc, you get it. but get this. his name is will durness. wilderness. this is another name my mom gave me out of the blue (his development throughout the story isn’t like, oh, this guy now can do public speaking and is comfortable in crowds, because imo that’s not realistic. instead its more like how can he accept that other people enjoy his company, and want to be around him? he allows himself to have friends and to feel safe around them. and i love him)

those ^ five knew each other at aronose (which, without making this even longer, is basically a Huge and Important and Prestigious science trade school type thing. it’s cool and basically what every dark academia fan wants), and after a mysterious four years in which Things happen they all reconvene in interesting ways, and discover how they’ve all kinda been intertwined in this Thing. and then they help each other. it’s cool! i promise.

montgomery is the worst of everyone, which is saying a lot when they’re all antagonists. he’s the main reason everything that happens.... happens, and [spoilers for a big part of my story just in case you don’t want to read it.. don’t know why i’m talking like i’m actually gonna upload it when it’s done but you never know] even after he’s gone, his presence is still like... there. his thing is just... manipulation, but in different ways. he just Knows how to talk to people. and all the rest of the characters have to deal with his lingering Ideals and Things. which is cool. everyone’s gotta work through that! yay for character development. and he’s the duke, so he can do basically whatever he wants (and he WILL remind you many times of that fact.) he’s kinda got his eyes on everything and everyone. i don’t really like to describe my ocs by comparing them to other existing characters, but he’s like if you somehow combined peter lukas and (sorry for this) h*ndsome jack. yeah he’s definitely a very fun character but man is he hard to write which is kinda funny cause like. he’s my oc lol. he only married celia for the status and she definitely knows that (but i promise there was once a time where they actually loved each other)

celia is possibly my most underdeveloped character out of everyone, but she’s still important to the story! she’s the duchess, and yet we don’t really see much of her in person until probably.... halfway through the story. she hates everyone, but mostly montgomery (lol) and arlo, for numerous reasons. they hate her too so it works out ig. i don’t have much to say about her oops

i just realized how dump-y this is... but i have an unfortunate time trying to describe everyone. somehow. yeah hope this somewhat made sense! i think.. honestly their pinterest boards / tags on my oc blog / spotify playlists do a lot for them

#miragearenas #you have opened the pandora's box of Facts

[latefrequencies]

okay so here’s what i did this weekend. idk if i’m leaving tumblr or not. i haven’t been using it a lot lately, mostly bc i haven’t felt like i’ve had an awful lot to say in general. i’m either going to go away or else start using it again in full force but i do want to tell you what’s happened.

ever since the start of this year, my boyfriend Dylan and I have been making plans for me to move in with him so I don’t have to live with my family any longer (they’re very LGBT-phobic - i was closeted the entire time - but in addition to that were also just really controlling and manipulative and idk i’d go so far as to say abusive esp considering that i have a background of heavy abuse that my family’s behavior doesn’t come close to, but suffice to say it’s Not Good). anyway we were making plans for me to run away from them and move in with him, much like was the case five years ago when i left my father’s house. we figured out the logistics of things like how I’d get to school, where we’d keep my stuff, and so forth. every time I hung out with him at his house, i’d sneak some of my stuff there so that i’d have less of it to take with me when it came time to actually leave, and all throughout i kept trying to plant hints with my family that i might want to live with Dylan at some point and that i knew how to figure things out if i “had to” leave suddenly or whatever (which wasn’t a wholly unreasonable idea given that I live with my grandparents and What If One Of Them Dies but w/e)

this Friday, on the 20th of February, we finally made our escape and I moved in with him.

we loaded up all my stuff minus my instruments in his car (which i said I was going to give to my friend, who is also called Dylan, I’m henceforth going to call him DM as those are his initials - anyway it was not a total lie bc i did have some stuff i wanted to give him and we were gonna hang out with him first, but that’s how i explained having all my stuff outside the house like that), with the plan to come back to get my instruments, say that we “forgot something” and leave a note that i wrote, much like the one i wrote for my dad and that my aunts gave him after i left his house to live with my grandparents. in it, i addressed a conversation i had with my aunt just that week where i talked about things like how i had wanted to move out of my dad’s house even before my family helped me but i didn’t have friends who would help me but i do have friends who can help me with things now, what if i’d left a note at my dad’s house and left it at that without my aunts meeting him face to face about it, my aunt claimed that she cares about my wellbeing and wants me to be in situations where i can feel free and okay and like i’m actually getting something out of life, et cetera.

we met up with DM and his friend Sol, I was nervous as fuck and was more than a bit high on clonazepam and ashwagandha, i told them what i was doing (DM knew i was going to do this At Some Point, Sol didn’t). they were both happy for me. Dylan and I decided then that we’d leave the public place we’d met up at, i’d get my instruments and leave the note (i’d made multiple photocopies of it so different members of the family could all have copies). we did so, i got my instruments, the last thing i did was leave the note, Dylan and I got into the car and I put on “I See Through You” by Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats because i felt like it was really good getaway music. for anyone in my situation who likes stoner metal and needs a good getaway song, that was indeed the perfect soundtrack and i am never ever going to forget how i felt as we left that place for good.

we hung out with DM and Sol for a few hours at DM’s house. i kept feeling afraid that my family would try to call me or message me (i explicitly told them not to call me in the letter). they didn’t during that time, but after i got home with Dylan, Teacher Aunt tried to phone me twice and had sent me a text asking me to call her, saying it wasn’t anything bad. it might not have been related to the note though because she ended up sending a message saying something to the effect of “I got your note. We love you.” Nurse Aunt later sent a text saying “We love you. Text us if you and Dylan need anything.” As every LGBT person knows, “We love you” is family speak for “Come back so we can fix you.” Anyone who knows me knows that I won’t be falling for it.

last night was the first night my boyfriend and i were able to fall asleep together, and this morning was the first morning we were able to wake up together. he made breakfast for us and we talked about things and we both agreed that we were happy that we’d finally done it and we’d finally gotten me out. i’m going to start medically transitioning as soon as possible (DM, who is trans himself, knows all about how to go about transitioning and has agreed to help me with that). i’m going to work on legally changing my name and gender too. by the time i graduate, i’ll hopefully be able to pass well enough that i won’t have to out myself to future employers. 

my aunt sent me a text in which she told me i needed to call her (for reasons that were actually fully reasonable and i did need to call her about them, i’m not going to get into it). i did so and we talked about it and she claimed she wanted to respect me and knew that i was afraid that my family wouldn’t love me and they’d judge me and she wanted to assure me that that wasn’t the case. despite that, she continuously addressed me by my birth name. unsurprising. i might have to call or text her again, but i’m almost definitely not going to have to see her face to face again. and if and when i do, i’ll probably have been on testosterone for a bit so haha fuck you aunt, she’s gonna hate it and i’m gonna love it.

anyway. i’m doing okay. i’m doing better than I have in my entire life. a lot of things are going to change but most of them are going to be for the better. i’m not going to have to be around anyone i Don’t Want To Be Around. it’s exclusively going to be people who actually respect me and accept me. (i mean i’m sure i’ll encounter some shitfucks now and then, the world is full of them and i can’t expect everybody to be decent, my point is that they won’t need to be part of my life now). on Monday, i’m going to meet with my German teacher and tell him what happened, which seems like a weird thing to do but he’s one of the few people in my life who seems like he cares about me in any specific individual way (he says outright that he cares about all of his students), and being that i still have that psychological need for the approval of authority, i’m going to tell him because he’s certainly going to approve and he’s the only authority figure who will. 

but. yeah, i’m living with my boyfriend, i’m going to probably spend a lot more time with DM too (and I’m becoming better friends with Sol too, AND after talking to a classmate in my German class about the situation - we had some time in class where we just talked about whatever together so i told him i had great weekend plans - anyway there’s a guy in my German class called Mitch who I might end up becoming friends with, yay). and also i don’t need my family’s approval for who i’m friends with anymore, which used to be the case but No Longer. so my social life is gonna get a lot better. and everything’s going to get a lot better. this is the thing that i’ve been waiting for. longtime followers of my blog undoubtedly have been waiting for this very day as well. i’m happy to tell you all that that day has come. 

#this has been a self related post #family / #transphobia / #homophobia / #school mention / #tldr i got away from my LGBT-phobic family and I'm Living My Best LIfe

[lethbians]

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that 

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 

#discourse #biphobia tw #transphobia tw #rape tw #ok goodbye im done with this im back to #only posting gay clown movie #Anonymous

[haikyupid]

Order from Haikyuu Teens,

uhh ,, hello !! if it’s not too late , could i get a dalgona matchup latte please ? i am a infp-t & my enneagram type is 9 ! people who didn’t really know but now they do say that i always looked/seemed like the kind of person who is really cold & stuck up (only bc i look “mean”) . i’m very loyal . i’m the kind of person who’ll support & be there for my friends . i’m also caring (maybe a little too caring from what my friends tell me. but, i even know that myself) & i tend to be really selfless . once i get to know you , i’m really childish & i always try to make a dumb joke to make you laugh & ,,, i become more talkative & loud . i always catch myself rambling about random things & having too much enjoyment talking about things that i really like . mainly , only people who are close to me see how i really act & behave . i was never really an out-there kind of person ,,, i always like to keep to myself . but moving on to cons , i’m a total pushover— like— i’m not even going to lie about that fact . it sucks but , it is what it is . i overthink waay too much & it causes to make myself panic sometimes . i’m really stubborn & i also really don’t know when to shut up & i tend to be very vain . i also keep my feelings to myself because i feel like i’ll be such a burden or just ruin the mood . i’m a total lazy person & i tend to really take things to heart (which makes me want to morph myself into a person that someone wants me to be) & dear gOd ,,,, i’m so awkward (that it even makes my friends feel uneasy or awkward as well) . i really love to draw , stay up late , sing , & dance (even though i’m very terrible at both ^__^;;) . i also really enjoy being stupid on calls , sending memes , korean food , & kpop ! hmm … my dislikes ? well— i don’t like it when people are obviously being rude for no reason . i dislike very bright colors (neons) , spiders , getting dirty , the cold , & squash . let’s see … in a relationship , i like someone who will make feel safe & loved . i have very low self-esteem so i seek someone who is supporting , too . someone who is caring even if they tend to act cold or maybe stubborn . & i like someone who’s going to be there for me like i’m always going to be there for them , no matter what . i also really like a someone who is strong , cool , & protective . i do like that small things like “hey , go to sleep .. its late” & “good morning/good night” text , heh . but i things i don’t like too much in a relationship is too much pda . i’m not really a big fan of making out in the halls & stuff . but ofc i don’t mind holding hands & small kisses on the lips (i like to show all my love & affection behind closed doors) .

aCK- i hope this is okay & not too much- sorry if it is !! i hope you have a wonderful day ! :>> i really love your blog ♡♡

Thank you so much for ordering and checking up on Kyupid's Love Shop. One Dalgona Matchup Latte coming up! Huh, I’ve been seeing lots of side effects for this one… anyways, I matcha up with ˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥

➞ before you two were in a relationship, ryuu didn’t actually… particularly like you, he was still smitten with ms. kiyoko y’know

➞ he’s sadly one of those people who do judge the book by its cover, but only because he prefers to be surrounded by positive people, and well… you didn’t particularly radiate that kind of vibe with, uh, your face (he really do be a hypocrite though with that ‘grr grr thug’ face of his 😔✌️)

➞ ryuu found you so intimidating (and beautiful, but he was in denial back then), you once saw him do his signature ‘gangsta’ look at you; yeah… y’all definitely didn’t get along at first — but ahem, let me introduce you to another matchmaker, ennoshita!

➞ enno knows your true personality and he vibes with you so well, therefore it really confused him when you accidentally slipped in something about ryuu’s attitude towards you during one of your guys’ convos (y’all were in a group project together) and he knows the reason why ryuu tends to avoid you, so he devised a plan to get you two to know each other: have a study date!

➞ when ryuu walked into the room and saw you, mans turned into the flash and just dashed towards the exit — but enno was one step ahead, so he got nishi to lock the doors before dropping off tanaka, and his attempt to leave failed

➞ it was soooo embarrassing for the both of you when enno kept on trying to keep a conversation going between the two of you; but when he decided to leave to make hot chocolate, ryuu apologizes and voices his concerns, and you just reply with “oh… oh, yeah that kind of happens… a lot” so you try to explain your side; he was honestly heartbroken from hearing that you experience it often, so he made it his mission to make it up to you

➞ and now would you look at that! you and ryuu are suddenly a couple now— (better thank enno for that)

➞ he will apologize profusely about the way he treated you beforehand, even if you’ve already told him a millions times that it’s fine; like y’all already have kids and he’ll still be like:

“hey, honey…”

“yeees?”

“you remember that time in high schoo—“

“omg, ryuu, not this again…”

“i just want to say that i’m so sor—“

“it’s been 19 years!”

➞ you will honestly feel like a queen, i’m being legit here; he’ll not only be your king, he’ll also be your knight in shining armour, and your butler — he’s the whole package, bby, and you’re one lucky girl to get all of that

➞ you think you’re too caring? nah, ryuu’s about to show you the life of a full time simp (skjkskss ik that being a simp is like so looked down on, but ik that every girl wants a man who’s a simp anyways)

➞ i’m kidding, he’s actually not a simp (A man who foolishly overvalues and defers to a woman, putting her on a pedestal) but more so he’s a doting boyfriend; you just know that you’re always gonna be at your best once you get into a relationship with him, so in a way, you are treated like a queen but not to the point where he worships the ground you walk on

➞ unless you tell him that you need some space, he’ll either have his arm lightly snaked around your waist or his hand resting on the small of your back; it’s his way of knowing that you’re protected and safe around him

➞ this relationship’s dynamic works extremely well since you both balance each other’s personalities in the aspects that you won’t have to worry about being a pushover around him since that’s not something that’ll occur with him; your more reserved personality compliments his outgoing one since if ever needed, you two could bring out the other side more in each other; he tends to have a more free personality (he’s still mature, but tends to enjoy life’s offerings) so whenever he feels that you’re overthinking again, he will coo and just reassure you that it’s okay to overthink sometimes, but it’s not worth having it control your entire mood and day

➞ ngl, he’s hella stubborn as well, but when it comes to you, he makes sure to understand your thinking first and then decide before he’ll let you take control — unless he thinks you’re completely wrong, then he won’t hesitate to put a foot down because he’s not going to help you turn into a spoiled brat, which is what hubby-material boyfriends do!

➞ to him though, it’s okay to be a lil’ vain, everyone wants to look to their best! but if it does however is on the verge of crossing the line of being full-on narcissistic, then he’ll confront you about it and ask you about why you’re acting the way you are, he’ll just try to put you into healthy-thinking mode back again

➞ you like memes? welp, that makes the two of you then! he definitely sends those wholesome memes, but his most favourite one to send you (especially as one those ‘good morning texts’) is:

➞ then he follows it up with ‘good morning, babe. strong power thank you to you always 😙😙 i love you so much. see ya at school!’ (aight, sorry, i just had to)

➞ kpop dances and karaoke on. the. daily! it doesn’t matter which song he’s dancing/singing to, as long as he gets to see you smile and know that you’re happy, he’ll do it all for you; he’ll also be your hypeman, and you’ll legit feel as if you’re an actual kpop idol with all the cheering he does — we love a supportive bf in this household

➞ *cough* he’ll sing lemonade by jeremy passion to you and he sounds so fokin beautiful— *cough*

➞ during calls with him, all you can hear is very loud laughter; whoever hears it (saeko for the most part) will just unconsciously smile since your guys’ laughs are just so genuine, even if it sometimes sounds a bit like a bunch of overheated kettles, they’ll just know that you both are having such a good time together and i mean, who wouldn’t want something like that?

➞ with you, he’s the type to send a message asking if you’re awake at like 2 AM, and if you do reply then expect him to come thru your window with some food in hand because he just felt like hearing your voice and seeing you; if not, then he’ll just send some cute message like ‘sleep tight and have good dreams, baby, i’ll see you tomorrow at school’

➞ once you two started dating, ryuu just had a more realistic view of relationships and he honestly prefers it way more than the scenarios that he’s created; now he appreciates privacy when it comes to showing affection instead of full-on just laying it all out in public, it just makes it that much more special to him; holding hands and just small skin contacts is his much more preferred pda than bear-hugging you or kissing you

➞ he’s not as needy as most expected him to be, in fact he actually often just caters to your needs because to him that’s enough; so expect small gifts here and there like making you a bento box, buying you strawberry milk, key-chains and bracelets, etc.

➞ he’s just more mature when he’s in an actual relationship because he does think that that’s something special that should only be shared between the two lovers; that doesn’t mean that he won’t occasionally show you off though, so you may or may not accidentally hear him rambling to the vbc about how lucky he is to call you his

➞ he will remember and notice every little thing about you; he notices that you’re humming some new kpop song absentmindedly? he’ll ask you about it during lunch; you made a small comment about liking korean food? he’ll make some for you! and best believe it tastes amaaaaaazing

➞ with ryuu, the thought of being a burden won’t ever cross your mind because he will often remind you that you make his days so much better and thank you for it (just good shet right here)

➞ even if you feel bad for not going to gyms with him because of your tendencies of being a lil’ lazy, he won’t force you at all; he’ll either just give you a kiss on the lips and walk you home before going, or he’ll call you whilst he’s at the gym; you’ll just feel so appreciated

➞ oh, and you won’t ever have to be worried about being awkward! there’s no such thing when you’re with your boyfriend ryuu, everything just comes so natural when you’re with him, everything will just feel so right

➞ this is the relationship that everyone knows will eventually turn into marriage and building a joyous family, and everyone expects to be invited because they all wouldn’t want to miss any part of yours and ryuu’s genuine relationship that they’ve all more than likely have been a part of since the beginning; in short, everyone wants to witness your relationship’s full story till it’s very end.

I hope you enjoyed your Dalgona Matchup Latte! Here’s a visual of your chaotically genuine relationship with Tanaka Ryuunosuke: After seeing your true persona during the study sesh with Enno, he’s become all flustered every time he looks at you instead of looking at you with his usual ‘imma thug’ look; Your first kiss (he planned it, no kidding — literally place, time, the vibes, he just wanted it to be perfect for you); Tanaka likes to take his shirt off, so when you both cuddled for like the third time, and just blacked out from exhaustion after a heavy day of practice, he wakes up to find you cuddled up against his chest which is bare, this man screams— his thoughts were like ‘omg, did we do it? was i drunk? omg, pls forgive me, y/n 😭’… and you’re just left there like ‘bruh, dafuq?’; when he’s feeling appreciative of you or just being soft in general, he hugs you similar to the gif and kisses your temple before burying his face into your hair to whisper “i love you so much, y/n, you don’t even understand”; him holding your hand to his face and just talking to you, whether it’s about your day or his, or telling you how much he loves you, is probably something that he does all time whenever you two are alone.

Thank you so much for ordering and being patient with Kyupid's Love Shop, I hope you’ll still order in the future! Have a very very lovely day, sweetie ♡⋆.ೃ࿔*

an: lmao, forget about kiyoko, you his girl now. periodt.

sorry this took waaay too long, bby 😔 the spa day turned into a whole pamper-me day so i was out all day… i’m really sorry, i hope you still like your order even though it came later than promised 🥺 if there’s anything wrong (gif, colored texts not showing up) then please message me!

tanaka is waaaay too underrated, but i honestly think that he’ll literally be one the top 5 best bfs from haikyuu, like legit this man will make you feel like a damn queen (kiyoko do be lucky tho) maybe not in the beginning, but like definitely after a few weeks or so.

#kyupid’s love shop #dalgona matchup latte #tanaka ryuunosuke #haikyuu matchups #hq matchups #submission

[pocmuzings]

mysticroleplay did a female ban in 2020 //:

hi ! thanks for the info , anon !!! when i first received this message i was big yikes tbh , bc female bans in 2020 ?? who even does that . but . . also admittedly , i know how things and misinformation can be spread thru tumblr discourse , so i actually approached the admins of mysticroleplay myself, to ask them for their side and an Explanation of what the 'female ban' really meant , bc . it doesn't Read Well for Anyone involved dfjkndfjnfjn . ANYWAYS , here was their response : ( under the cut bc it’s long , and then i add More commentary at the bottom ) 

 “ So, there’s a lot to unload here… as what initially was presented as a temporary tool in an attempt manage our influx of female characters, had got out of hand and taken out of context >< We hope our explanation below can gain a better understanding as to where we were coming from when implementing this ban, as we know it can come off quite… old school and not at all encouraging of those who disapprove of a gender ban in general. 

 When we started Mystic, we wanted to be a roleplay that didn’t care about ratios, which is why we categorize our characters by ‘stayed, left, new’ (according to our plot). In the beginning stages, we noticed the reputation roleplays were getting for caring about ratios (and ultimately understanding why it was a bad thing), which is why we made that decision in the first place.

As Mystic was growing, we noticed the influx of female characters joining, and didn’t really think much about it. However, slowly, we noticed that we had a handful of non-female desired wanted connections sitting in our tag, and there’s only so much that we admins can do to encourage gender diversity. We were also aware of the pressure a few members (we included) that had male characters felt when interacting with female characters (shipping, and etc), which was also a mildly growing concern behind the scene. As admins, we want to do our best to cater to our member’s experience and because we have encountered a certain feeling (in our own experience as members or admins, outside of Mystic) whenever there’s a heavy gender presented more than others, we couldn’t help but feel concerned. We’ve seen roleplays die when one gender overpowers the other, so we couldn’t help but wonder… should we do something about this? We’re not supposed to care about gender ratios, but our fear of our roleplaying dying due to past (separate) experiences seemingly overpowered that. (And not only that, but we’ve also been approached individually if we would consider a female ban of sorts, as we know *whether it’s a bad thing or not* that there are some people do care about ratios.)

And so, we came to the decision of implementing a temporary female ban, for various reasons. Yes, to balance our ratio to a degree, but to also encourage our members who were thinking of taking on second characters, to think about taking on a different gender. (We were also heavily wary about the backlash this would cause, but under said pressures, in a misguided attempt, did it anyway.)

 That is not to say, we only encouraged male characters in the slightest. Our ban was to encourage both male and nb characters, however, we will admit, we didn’t encourage nb characters as much as we should’ve. We know now, we probably should’ve sent ourselves some anons to put forth the public desire of having gender diversity, but we’re sad to say, we didn’t. We genuinely didn’t encourage (nor do we desire) one gender over the other, but we understand, that not voicing our desire for nb characters outright, could’ve been the reason why it this female ban we implemented was taken out of context.

Within the week of closing our ban (which was only up for about a week), we received anon asking if we’d do the same for nonbinary characters. We weren’t sure what to make of this ask, because admittingly, we were afraid it was a tool someone was using to try and make us (and Mystic) look bad. We know that might sound a bit dramatic, but the three of us are particularly protective over Mystic (as it has taken over two years for us to finally bring this roleplay to light) and we didn’t want a misunderstanding to have all of our hard work go to waste. (We’re also extremely aware of the rpcs of cancel culture, and wanted to avoid that as much as possible.) So, we made the unfortunate choice of not answering it, not for any other reason than being fearful of the outcome. 

 Within the next day, we received an IM from one of our members that it was them who had sent the anon and have expressed deep disappointment towards us for ignoring their query. It was… shameful, and heartbreaking for us to say the least. We loved that member deeply and have grown extremely embarrassed for not meeting their needs, all out of fear. Although they have expressed that they wish to have approached us off anon (as they were aware it came off hostile), they were still disappointed as a whole and we couldn’t blame them.

We did our best to explain why we didn’t reply, and how we weren’t trying to prioritize male or female characters over nonbinary (which is certainly another story within itself), and while we thought the conversation was going quite well and civil, we were met with them ultimately deactivating and we could no longer talk things through. 

 The incident between the three of us and that member was a lot for us. In fact, it still affects a few of us to this day, as we’re continuously fearful of disappointing our members again. We didn’t expect for Mystic to grow this big, nor did we expect to gain traction from the rpc in general. But, through this experience, we’ve learned that we do hold some sort of responsibility for doing what we can to encourage what is needed in the rpc. (Whether we feel as though it’s our duty or not.) We’ve learned a lot from that member, and although we weren’t able to settle things to their likeness, we decided to move on with the decision of implementing a ban for both male and female characters, in hopes of encouraging trans and nonbinary characters to enter Mystic in the near future. We want to look it as taking it one step at a time to be as inclusive and accepting to all as possible, whether we’re fully capable of taking on that task ourselves.

There is a lot more to say upon the matter, which we would be happy to discuss, as we want to lay things out as transparent as possible, but we hope that all of this explains things, enough for you to form a fair opinion about us. Not once did we ever make a decision to purposefully harm a particular community. Between the three of us, we are fully supportive (as well as a part of) the LGBTQ community and have been distraught knowing we have been misunderstood, due to a misguided decision in order to control our ratios. However, that is not to say, that we didn’t harm anyone (intentional or not), and we hope moving forward, we can right our wrongs. 

 If you have any more concerns or questions regarding the matter, please let us know, we appreciate you approaching us privately. <3 “

i kinda do understand what they're talking abt . if u've been on my blog in the past few weeks , we've been talking heavily abt playing male muses and how they're ship-chased to no ends , and i do recognise that this is what the admins were noticing in their own rp with female muses coming in, and creating a MASS amount of wanted connections just for males , and chasing the males that were already in the rp . this is smth we've all seen time and time again , and it makes rps die , and ppl just . Click right out , bc who wants to come into a rp thats just 'ship ' 'ship' ' ship' 'ship' ??? thats not fun , and not the environment u wanna foster. 

 do i agree with the Actions per se , of a female ban ? no . not at all . it's very demoralizing and derogatory to female muses who AREN'T there for ships and actually for the Real purpose of rping. but i do UNDERSTAND what the admins were trying to accomplish , in order to break up the amount of ship-chasing they were seeing . 

 after scrolling through their blog , i did see that they were trying , somewhat, to encourage more male AND nb fcs . however, again , of course - this didn't really pan out , because . . nb muses are hardly EVER picked up , as we all know  . should they have pushed MORE for nb rep , and maybe picked up a few nb chartacters themselves ? probably . admins should lead by example , a classic g line . 

 so . the action of them removing the female ban when they had more Males , but not really Considering as much abt the nb-representation ? not great either , but they acknowledge that in their response too , and admit they're Ashamed of how they acted . it's not my place to talk on the nb/trans community's end on this topic . simply put , if that side of the community is hurt and Damaged by these actions , then thats understandable too . 

i think it's at least Slightly commendable that when i approached the admins out of the blue - they were completely 1000% transparent and honest with me abt the situation in general and what had seemingly warranted , to them, a 'female ban ' 

 look , overall. mistakes are made . people own up to them . they apologise , and they acknowledge they’ll do better in the future . that’s SOMETHING . overall, they’re Trying to do better , and i think that that’s something important , and i do appreciate them for that . they did the wrong thing . they admitted it and owned up to it . i can understand where they were Coming from , but the execution , admittedly , was not done Great .

#mysticroleplay #shutup g. #this is LONG ! #LONG LONG LONG ! #I APOLOGISE! #long post cw #Anonymous