#;; AND IM SO ANGRY

[insertdragonpun]

Me: frustrated and about to cry because I'm taking a class (THAT ISNT NECESSARY) and the teacher isn't at all helpful and the stupid program we have to submit through doesn't accept anything that actually works and I want to drop it so bad but if I do I lose my scholarship because I have to be full-time

My mom: playing Claire do lune like the amazing person she is

#music #i fucking hate this class #the thing is the actually work is easy its just the stupid program we have to submit through! #its a coding class #and im so angry

[albino-whumpee]

I've seen some opinions around saying pet whump is almost the same as pet play and while it can be in some cases, being treated as a pet is nothing sexual. It's dehumanizing, belittling, condescending attitudes towards a person.

#you havent ever been treated like a pet then huh? #no wonder you cant fathom it #whump #im irrational and in my period #and im so angry #dklcld #pet whump #idc

[crabussy]

IM GOING TO PUNCH A HOLE IN SOMEONES CAR

#WHAT THE FUCK MAN #caps #you're not evil dont worry I love you #BUT WHAT THE FUCK. I feel like sisyphus now #if I just blow my nose again it'll be clear right. right guys. if I get the mucus out I can breathe #IM GONNA BE ILLL IM SO ANGRY

[spitblaze]

considering how many transmascs were legitimately way angrier BEFORE starting T and have since calmed down significantly have we perhaps considered that maybe the reason so many cis dudes are angry and aggressive isn't because of testosterone but maybe. like. personal issues. unmet needs. a social climate that teaches them that there are only like three acceptable emotional outlets for men max and one of them is being angry and shouting

#spitblaze says things #source: i got angry SO easily before i started t #i had jokes about the list of things you could say to me that would make me rant and rave in a fury #i still have things that piss me off but im not like. to that degree #doin numbers

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #laios touden #shuro #toshiro nakamoto #the winged lion #autistic #autism #clay writes #i GUESS #this was so spur of the moment. im so busy right now i dont have time to be analysing laios touden #i wuont angry autistic rep..

[spacefacedtragedy]

Systemic suppression is stressing every year if I'm gonna receive health benefits or be denied for some dumb reason.

Systemic suppression is not being able to marry my partner, because we're both disabled and would lose a third of our income, which is already being used to sustain three people.

Systemic oppression is being forced to buy the shitty food, good I can't eat, or items that barely get things done because when inflation hit, the only raise you got was the raise in spirits this war might lead to your revolution.

Systemic oppression comes in many forms. And the pain is felt by many people, in large and small families, in young and old alike.

#and im so angry #i could scream

[shownusfool]

im shaking about everything happening in rafah right now. i can’t imagine so distressed they’re blowing them to smithereens, you can see the refugees hands and toros and legs blown apart. they’ve concentrated everyone into one area and at 3am in the morning they bombed them, threw bombs all over them. at the same time at that same moment israel aired an ad on the superbowl painting themselves the victim. saying they need to get the refugees home. they rejected the hostage exchange peace plan offered by hamas. they rejected a hostage exchange. they rejected the hostage exchange. they rejected the hostage exchange. saying it would be done soon. and now they carpet bomb the civilian refugees that they ordered to be concentrated into one area. in the past hour alone 30 confirmed martyrs. 60 confirmed martyrs. now possibly a 100 confirmed martyrs. the death is outrunning the time on the clock. it’s all just so much. it’s so heartbreaking and cruel. and still there are people in the world blaming us for all this. blaming palestinians for all this. how will they explain it? maybe cnn or the BBC or the guardian will say “100+ Palestinians found dead after being caught in artillery fire” they won’t say we’re killed, targeted, murdered, bombed. they won’t even say we’re human even if our guts and brain matter are stuck on the floor. i’m losing my mind.

#im so angry im so mad im so sad #palestine #im just so sad im so sad im so sad #there are so many heartaches #so many heartaches #gaza

[amystarrstuff]

#this is the vibe #im very sick rn so everything that i post is kinda spur of the moment #but this is how i feel about most ultrakill and projmoon characters #need to shake them around like an angry dog #amuposting

[late-draft]

I sketched out the Fire Nation royal family, it's curious to follow who resembles whom physically and which traits got passed

#atla #avatar the last airbender #azulon #iroh #ozai #ursa #lu ten #zuko #azula #yea like keep track of the eyebrows #IM SO ANGRY I wanna see how the missing women looked like also #also rip Roku but I lost steam while drawing so you're missing #my art

[saraa-lancee]

Facing having to drop out is... my soul is being crushed. Everything is falling apart. My life is over.

I'm *almost* done. I'm so close. After five long, hard years. And I might... I just might not make it. In the end, it might be my only option. My life will be over.

#soren rants #and im so ANGRY #and so alone

[redcallisto]

Kieran my baby boy. someone take him to a therapist please

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet violet #pokemon sv #kieran #pokemon kieran #idk the pokemon tags help #I KNOW THIS IS WEIRD FOR ME when do i ever get invested in a pkmn character #but listen #it's kieran #he's so interesting i got the dlc cuz of him #drew these far apart from each other #Im so happy he and mc made up in the end like i'd have cried if they didn't or if kieran was still angry aaa #his hair is so hard to draw help #no he is not a brainrot i won't allow it i NEED to be in my danstelle era #pokemon scarlet violet teal mask #pokemon sv teal mask #pokemon scarlet violet indigo disk #pokemon sv indigo disk #pokemon scarlet violet dlc #pokemon sv dlc #used a vpn to post bc tumblr's blocked here help HAHA

[deerteatime]

im having very strong feelings about AI art in this chilis tonight. [ID in alt.]

#art #artist meme #ai art #tea's posts #made this while I was really angry but i think it still has some merit #really tired of seeing generated art getting tens of thousands of notes while amazing artists I follow struggle to reach 50 #even the most popular art in tags i follow usually reaches a maximum of like two thousand!! and not very often!!! #cw scopophobia #cw eye contact #<- my last bugs meme got tagged this a lot so im doing it preemptively

[bred-is-a-dumb-name]

Anyone remember that drawing challenge from a while ago where you would draw your otp or OCs as the go for it nakamura cover??? Yea well I like the second Manga covers pose a lot more so I did that...also it's klapollo <3

#yes i edited that meme on the bottom myself. its how i felt while drawing this. that man makes me angry but hes so prettyyyy #i hate him (i am lying) #initially i was gonna add close ups of all the klav doodles but im a dumbass and merged the layers #so like...yall dont get that ig dhdjdjdjdj #anyways ive been playing Ace Attorney again can you tell?? #ace attorney #apollo justice ace attorney #ajaa #aa4 #apollo justice fanart #apollo justice #klavier gavin #ace attorney fanart #klapollo #apollo x klavier #klavier x apollo #go for it again nakamura #go for it nakamura #art challenge #? #art #my art #digital art #digital illustration #artists on tumblr #also fun fact i drew most of this while at worl over the last few days

[robotpussy]

Palestine will be free this is not the end of Palestine

#i cant lose hope im so angry but i cant lose hope i know Palestine will be here and will be free

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[hadesoftheladies]

women's sports is one of the loudest and most successful anti-patriarchy campaigns in human history. what women's sports did and does is prove, over and over again, the excellence, the raw power and strength of the human woman. it completely disrupts ideas on gender.

you have big, powerful women in rugby. fast, endurable women runners. impeccably strong gymnasts. women with strong, large bodies that take up space. that are HEALTHY. they are not RESTRICTED or ladylike. they are free of the stillness/deadness that femininity demands. no corsets. no (aesthetic) thinness. no hourglass bodies for gawking. women's sports screams to society "we are fully human, not objects, not small men. we are not domestic dolls. we are hunters and foragers. fighters."

why do you think men are so vitriolic about it? why don't they want women in football? why don't they want it televized? why do they keep harassing female basketball players? why do they insist on dressing women in sexualized uniforms? why do they now make it taboo to exculde men from women's sports?

i firmly believe it's because women's sports tears patriarchal gender ideology apart so effortlessly. it completely spits in the face of patriarchal political propaganda and shows how null it is. it forces all of us to view women as full, as the beginning of human excellence, as central to human history. not as decorative sexual objects, no matter how men want us to be.

that's why there's so much aggression and derision when it comes to women's sports from men. because women's sports destroys the idea of femininity and depicts women as non-derivative. women must be monsters and cannot afford to play into the childlikeness that femininity demands. the arena of sports forces us to focus on women's physical performance rather than appearance. their strength rather than how attractive they are. their skill and strategy. their humanity. it is a form of entertainment where all female roles are agentive and active rather than passive.

women's sports events are also hotbeds for female and lgb solidarity like you have no idea!

y'all need to start watching women's sports. not only because it is exciting, but it deprograms the patriarchal bullshit out of you so fast. you realize how much is possible. how much we can all achieve right now.

#women's sports #radblr #feminism #olympics are coming up #women athletes are so so cool #like i watch them and im like i can't imagine how much strength it took to pull that off #sometimes my dad watches WNBA highlights with me #im not yet a dedicated watcher of sports but im fixing that this year #anti-gender #anti gender #women's sports makes men so angry because women are strong and smart and beautiful without any femininity bullshit