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#//Gonna throw myself at drafts in the meantime
ever-winter · 1 year
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Like/Comment for a short starter! Please let me know which muse you'd like it from - or it'll be whoever happens to be loudest (Usually Seiko/Scara or Dottore) :)
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years
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Pacing around my room (metaphorically, I'm very much in bed) trying to sort out all my thanks to them thoughts. What is going ON in here (my brain)?????
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salytierra · 4 years
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@jackthunderboltyt​ Something went wrong the first time with the tags so posting again. 
Okay so this headcanon actually plays directly into my Zukki Chronicles series. But it would be like...installment 7 and I’m barely writing 4 & 5, now that I’m done with the Pirate AU. It might take a while to get there so here it goes:
___
It starts in the least romantic and parental way possible. Zuko’s council had been pressing him for a heir for years and they are getting progressively more and more annoying and crossing all kinds of lines. So in this meeting they actually got pictures of different noble ladies and singing their praises, and talking about quick weddings and what copulation positions are most likely to produce a heir quicker. Zuko is annoyed and mortified, but, over his shoulder, Suki is getting more and more jealous frustrated. Finally, as some advisor is trying to recreate a verbal porno of how Zuko’s time with a particular dame would be she throws her hands up with a yell of “FINE, I’LL DO IT MYSELF!!”
And so she just plucks Zuko up by the back of his collar and drags him up behind her, stomping out of the throne room and greatly flabbergasting the palace guards because “omg somebody is manhandling the Fire Lord what shall we do???” Bc Suki is technically their BOSS and the head of security so...???
But she is determined and just power-walking back to their quarters. They run into Sokka on the way, armful of scrolls. He’s pretty startled by the sight of a fuming Suki on a warpath, dragging - a terrified and confused - Zuko behind like a ragdoll.
Sokka: “Hey, where are you two off to?”  Suki: “TO MAKE A BABY!”   Sokka: ????????????????????????????????????????????...
Anyway, once they are in private they calm down. Sokka’s like “darling, you’re on birth control, and so is Zuko. By all means try it out but it’s not gonna work.” and they talk about how it’s actually very early and Zuko’s not ready, besides he doesn’t want to bring a child into this world for purely political reasons. Also, Suki is not opposed to being a mom, but being a mom(TM) is a different deal. She doesn’t want to appear by Zuko’s side at events in anything but a uniform either, no Fire Lady business crap. Besides, the three of them had already decided that none of them would get married, but a child born out of wedlock would be at risk of facing an uprising later on...
So they have to act smart. Suki is still insisting to be the one to carry the baby, because she doesn’t want Zuko to be “pimped off” for politics. But they decide to wait for a few years. In the meantime, they draft a legally-binding contract for every noble family to sign, pledging loyalty to any heir of Zuko’s, “legitimate” or not. (The fight to get those signed, sometimes with more coercion than diplomacy, dwarfs out the previous pressure).
Sokka starts a notebook with dad jokes so he doesn’t forget any. He’s the most prepared of the three of them.
A few years down the road Izumi is born and she’s the most spoiled with love and showered with attention baby in any royal house ever.
She turns out to be a non-bender too (which was always a possibility, seeing as how Kyoshi Island almost has no benders, from what we’ve seen of it). But it’s alright. Loving aunt (and master firebender) Kiyi nominates herself champion in case Izumi is ever challenged to an Agni Kai, but Zuko is working towards outlawing the practice, so he isn’t overly concerned.
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anywherexwhen · 2 years
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ooc: Well! Just found out I’ve got most of the weekend to myself! Gonna dive into some drafts. Feel free to throw stuff at me in the meantime and give The Doctor some love!
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A rant of personal experiences and trying to do something positive with them:
Okay so procrastination is a huge thing in ADHD. Same with memory issues. (Not that these are always present and maybe some people experience both without being ADHD).
So. Here’s an experience I’m just now (at almost 40) realizing was a thing:
Imagine a huge essay/report/project requiring a lot of research and several sources was due in a few weeks. The advice was always to break it down, take notes, and make an outline. It made perfect sense. And maybe it does help some or even most people.
But for some, like me, it was still impossibly overwhelming and breaking it down was worse. The project was often boring (especially if I had to ignore a hyperfixation to work on it) and even if it wasn’t, it still felt like A LOT when my brain was full of TV static and my memory was shit.
It takes a ton of repetition for me to even temporarily remember something and even then, it will likely be gone again in a few days. UNLESS I learn by actually doing something or figuring it out for myself. And my brain gaslights itself like “do I remember that right? No that can’t be right. Let me look it up for the 100th time to make sure.” And I’m WAY more likely to remember concepts or physical processes but completely forget the terms for them or names of things or important dates EVEN FOR MY HYPERFIXATIONS, damnit... Like, I can do a bunch of crafty stuff and even remember some common terms and items but not the less common fabrics or stitch types or tool names. (Yet somehow I could remember the exact location of hundreds of thousands of items of inventory at my craft store job... even if I didn’t know what they were called. But I stocked them and had physical contact with them so I could picture where they were.) The number one overwhelming thing for me about trying to be a pro at anything is trying to remember terms so it sounds like I know what I’m talking about.
Anyway...
Without acknowledging that, I ended up wasting time by trying to schedule research/work in small chunks because every time I stopped then tried to start again, I wouldn’t remember what I did or looked at last time. (Can I also add that this is why being interrupted is infuriating for me? It probably seems irrational to other people but it’s so hard to get focused on something and now my train of thought is derailed, passengers are dead and injured, and it’s going to take who knows how long to revive the survivors?) And maybe that wasn’t so bad the first time because I’d only have to reread one page of notes. But then it would happen a few more times and my focus would be blurred and I’d repeated myself multiple times in the notes and they’d become a mess and look horrible which was distracting and I’d feel overwhelmed by having to reread and now rewrite several pages and focus would be even worse because I did remember some bits and blanked out while looking at those then stay blanked out then I’d have to reread again to catch the parts I didn’t remember.
But.
If I waited until the last minute, when the consequence/reward system overrode how overwhelming or boring the project was, I could burn through it because I was in constant contact with the material and it was all currently on my mind and I could skip writing notes and an outline and go straight to a fairly decent flow-state draft then keep going through revisions and editing all without forgetting WTF I’d researched. And it would be done in so so so much less time with a lot less effort and frustration.
And...
AND
And then there’s the schedule thing and why it DOES NOT WORK for me. If I schedule doing something (or even if someone suddenly wants me to do something right now) and my brain is like, “nah sorry, just static right now,” there’s absolutely nothing I can do to make it work and I’m just going to get frustrated and tired and depressed and discouraged. But if I keep a loose list of things that need to get done and indicate which are priorities, I can look at it and say “yeah. This one seems doable right now.” No I’m not going to get up and vacuum that spot of cat litter at this exact moment but it’s a good idea to do it soon so I’ll add vacuum to the list and probably get it done later the same day. If the cat throws up, that is an immediate priority so I will get up and make sure they’re okay and clean it because my brain does actually recognize things like that as super important. If a bill arrives in the mail, I’ll stop and pay it right away because I know I don’t have to think/worry about it again if I do. But what sucks about that is that society wants and often understandably needs people to work on a schedule. And I just... can’t.
But I’m trying to take this knowledge and apply it, trying to accept that this is how I function. I function based on a system of priorities that get done in order of “absolutely must be done right this second, whether for my own reasons or outside reasons, even if I need to drop other things” to “this is what I CAN do right now.” Not something pre-scheduled. If I need to leave something to the last minute then I’m just going to accept that that’s how it’s going to be and that’s okay. Then I can free up energy and space to do other things in the meantime rather than worry and be anxious and beat myself up because I should be doing the thing and end up hating things I like doing because they’re not what I should be doing and now there’s a negative association with them. No. Screw that. If all I can do today is play a video game then fine. Gonna enjoy it. Because I now know for a fact, from years of experience, that I will do the important things. They just need to wait until I’m capable of doing them. And... if I let myself stop worrying about old WIPs... They get done eventually too. It might take a few years but as long as I don’t actually decide not to do them, they will get done.
All that said... I still want to look into meds because it would be nice to have more of an ability to focus more regularly. I just need to clear up some other medical stuff first and I’ve got appointments already set up for that.
One more thing... I f$&#ing hate the attitude teachers have about doodling in class. It was literally the only way I could focus during lectures and remember anything they were talking about. I could look at what I drew and remember what was being said while I drew it. F$&% every teacher who took away my notebooks or yelled at me for it. Without it, I’d zone out completely. And THANK YOU to the art history teacher and biology teachers I had who not only understood but encouraged it and actually helped me direct it toward the subject matter by suggesting drawing thumbnails of the art or cell structure or anatomy.
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trialedsage-archive · 4 years
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     { I’ll be here later today. I’ve got 13 drafts, plus 3 asks. I’ve also got some memes queued for later. Some negativity below the cut. }
     So I’m not doing so hot mentally or emotionally. If I am slow to respond to ooc stuff, that’s why. Please do not take offense, I’m just trying to avoid bringing my personal shit to the fore. I don’t want to lash out over something stupid because I’m oversensitive rn, you know? I ran out of my meds pretty much as soon as this pandemic started and haven’t been able to get them since. Big yikes.
     On top of that, I’m dealing with some pretty significant family issues. It’s a whole mess that I’d rather not get into, but suffice it to say: I’ve got one of those real shit dads and he continues to be shit, to the surprise of literally nobody ever.
     On top of that, I may have been exposed. We’ll know in a few days if the person who we (indirectly) came in contact with tests positive for COVID-19. Hopefully we’re in the clear, but for now, it’s a big question mark. Hopefully we don’t get it, but in the meantime, we’ll be sanitizing and social distancing and all that rot even more than we already were. 
     Basically, things aren’t great atm. I’ll likely be slow to doing replies until I can get things sorted out. Either that or I’ll throw myself into them. Depends on how I’m feeling. As of right now, though, I’m in a bad spot and not feeling up to it. I’m going to try to get them done today though, give myself something else to concentrate on.
     On the bright side I got the beefiest tax return I’ve ever gotten! Gonna get myself Witcher 3 for the PC so I can finally use mods! *w* I am excited for that. I might also pick up the two books that Avallac’h is featured in, but we’ll see how things pan out. My best friend/roommate also got to go to the store and! She! Found! Toilet paper! Thankfully the stores around here have wised up and have started limiting people to one pack per person.
     So big breaths! This is all going to blow over soon. Just gotta hang in there. Gotta have the bad times to appreciate the good ones and all that jazz. We’re all going through a tough time right now. We’re in this together. I love you all and hope that you’re well. Count your blessings, make sure those you love know it, and remember to be brave and be kind!
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boogiewrites · 5 years
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Reports & Repertoire 11
Characters: Eddie Brock x Venom x Candace Miller (OFC)
Word Count:  6000
Summary:   Candy’s ego leads her to make a bad decision. This leads Venom having to reveal himself to save her. How will she react to finding out her new romance has been a threesome she had no clue about?
Warnings/Tags: Language. Violence. Fighting. Venom being the best wingman ever. Venom saving the day. Candy coming to terms with Eddie being the weirdest groupon ever. Candy is the coolest and most reasonable cucumber.
Click on my icon then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.)
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Candy and Eddie had fallen in a nice flow of come and go with each other. They had been right, being able to reach out and simply ask for the other was working well. He'd slept over at her place, she'd slept over at his, meeting up for meals and even a late night quickie in her office once was holding up pretty well for them so far. They were busy, but they were happy.
Venom kept nagging Eddie, threatening to show himself so he would tell her about him. Venom was growing very impatient and Eddie took to spending more time in public with Candy instead of nights in to avoid this happening as long as he could. He kept Venom fed in the meantime as best he could, and that was the most helpful thing he could've done for himself. This didn't stop the insults from coming though.
"Coward." Venom would whisper into his ear as he left Candy's place.
"Shut up." Eddie would groan.
"Chicken. Weakling. Pussy. Wimp. Baby." he'd nag.
"I get it you got a fuckin' thesaurus." Eddie sighs. He knew he was right but he was so happy, and Candy was happy and he didn't want to lose it. He didn't know if he could lose it again.  But as he does, Venom pushes him to be better. He wasn't just Eddie anymore, he was Venom and together they could be so much more than they had been apart. And that fear of being alone was useless now.
"If you'd told her before you got together this wouldn't be an issue. You're acting like a jerk again. A liar. A dumb ass. It wasn't a big secret and now it is something you are keeping from her. Now you are breaking her trust. And it will be all your fault if she leaves us. Again. You're doing this to yourself, Eddie. You cannot learn your lesson can you?" Venom hisses and judges.
"I'll tell her when it's a good time to tell her. She's in the middle of a big story right now, I don't wanna throw her off her game."
"You are a cur. You should not lie to her like this."
"Oh you've got the fancy words out now." he rolls his eyes.
"Distraction. Excuses." Venom spits out.
"Are you just jealous? You want to be able to be with her too? That it?"
"No. I'm disappointed in you." he rumbles out and he knows Eddie feels it within himself too. ------
Both Eddie and Steph both were loving Candy's new place. It was better than what either of them had. Eddie was paying off back logged bills still and Steph still at her same job weren't in a position to move up so soon. Candy was happy to share with both of them, they house sat when she wasn't there and helped keep her company in the quiet neighborhood when the other wasn't around. It had even worked out by accident that Eddie and Steph had been staying over at the same time on a few occasions, which no one seemed to mind as they soon found their missing of Candy and potential for eye-rolling level jokes were strongly shared between them.
Candace had been deep in an investigation for a fighting ring. WIth her new platform she was ready to get back to her first social injustice she focused on, the homeless, and give a platform for awareness to it. She had assisstants and PA's that helped her go to and from places, recording and scouting and general snooping of suspected areas of interest. It wasn't unusual for local gangs to run drugs through the homeless areas of the Mission, this had been going on for a long time. Street corners with members rubbing elbows with tech start ups on the same street made for an interesting mix. This apparently had led to another case of exploiting the homeless. With promises of money or drugs, they would be lured into old warehouses or abandoned lots, where members would watch them fight for whatever was up for grabs. It was a dangerous job, but the cops were only interested in drug money, they didn't care about the people. Candy did. She caught wind from one of her informants at the shelter about a meetup spot that had been used more than once. So she sees an opportunity. With the sun still up she figures it's safer. Armed with a phone set to send out 911 texts and call emergency services with the tap of a button and a gun she'd recently trained and licensed in a holster under her shirt, she felt ready to take on another big bad.
She didn't want to endanger any of her employees or coworkers, she would've felt entirely guilty and responsible, so she calls up Eddie to see if he's up for some good old fashion detective work.It's a Sunday and that usually meant a travel day, prep day or meeting a deadline for Eddie. She tells him she has a lead, that she doesn't want to wait for it to get cold and is gonna check it out and asks if he's interested. He doesn't think much of her vagueness, she usually was when it came to work since they dealt with sensitive information. So as he's trying to complete an article draft to send it before midnight, he grumbles and tells her he can't, that he needs to finish up but he'll call her later. Without being offended, Candy tells him she'll just text him after she's finished, that she'd be near his neck of the woods anyway. He agrees with a soft smile and a heavy sigh, wishing he could go out and get his hands dirty with her instead of being stuck inside working with an increasingly hungry symbiote.
So Candy makes the decision to go alone. She gives Steph all her information as to where she'd be going and she is not happy about it. She lectures her and tells her she's being reckless, that if one of her people tried to do this she'd give them hell. But she doesn't listen, Candy is tenacious and when she feels those she cares about are at stake, and her inflated ego from her recent successes, she leaves anyway.
She circles the old warehouse, surrounded by desolate and decaying buildings with for lease signs on them. Broken windows and overgrown parking lots, the only thing she sees besides her were stray dogs and birds, she walks confidently, hand on her phone in her pocket and starts to close in on the specific building. She finds an old busted service door, a large piece of plywood over it that had recently been moved, the dust and debris around it was ddisturbed and the door behind it was ajar. She moves it just enough to get through. The metal door is heavy and scrapes the ground, uneven on its warped hinges as she makes her way into the tall, hollow beige painted brick building. Windows with lots of tiny panes, many broken with no particular rhyme or reason let in more light into the space. She sees rooms that used to be offices, for she's guessing was a factory of some sort. Over turned filing cabinets and paper garbage line the cement block walls with their single, wide windows to see through. The wire lined glass made it hold together for the most part, but it'd been smashed many times over. She guessed by the metal trashcan that lay on its side a few feet away. The usual graffiti, some gang-related, some teens drawing dicks and writing 'hail satin' unironically cover the inside walls. The ground is damp in spots, leaves, and puddles, papers, condoms and drug paraphernalia are littered about. She watches for syringes and plastic baggies, stips of rubber and spoons, remnants of busted glass pipes crunch under her feet. She moves to the center of the room, a large circle spray painted very roughly lays in the middle. She walks it, taking pictures with her phone, noting the blood splatters within it, the abandoned bloodied clothes and the signs of struggle among the lines of upright and strewn crates and boxes that surround the circle. There was definitely something going on here. But she didn't have enough evidence to really do anything about it. As she takes pictures, her phone buzzes. It'd been a few hours now since she'd called Eddie that afternoon, she answers quietly as she sees it's him.
"Hey." she whispers.
"Hey. Why are you whispering?" he whispers back.
"I'm at the spot I was talking about."
"That still doesn't answer my question." he snarks.
"I can't see outside so I don't want anyone to know I'm in here." she says obviously, walking back towards the door.
"You trespassing?" his voice inflects.
"Well duh." she says with a roll of her eyes
"Candy are you there by yourself?" he asks more seriously.
"Yeah, no one else could come-"
"Get out of there now." he says sternly.
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"I'm leaving, I just wanted pictures. I needed some sort of evidence." she retorts.
"Candy I swear to god, you get out of there now and go home or I'm gonna come get you myself."
He doesn't hear her respond.
"Candy?" he asks more panicked.
He hears a rustling sound.
"Someone's outside." he hears her whisper much lower. She'd ran into one of the abandoned offices, barricaded herself in an old coat closet where the smell was bad enough to make her gag.
"You in trouble? I'll call someone. You okay?"
"I don't know who it is. I gotta go. They can't know I'm here." she says curtly and hangs up.
"Don't you fuckin' hang up on me!" he shouts and is met with the beep of a disconnected line. "GODDAMMIT!" he shouts, eyes shifting quickly over his apartment.
"Where is she?" Venom asks.
"I don't...I don't remember...did she say?" his voice fast and high pitched.
"No. Who would know?" he asks, trying to hide how nervous Eddie was making him.
"Stephanie. Steph would know." he says in an almost slurred risen voice as he punches her contact information.
"Steph? Where the fuck is Candy?"
"Her dumbass went to an abandoned warehouse for some fight club thing." she says with an annoyed sigh.
"AND YOU LET HER?!" he shouts.
"NO. I did not LET her. I told her not to but you try making her listen. You fuckin' journalists and your ambition." she rolls her eyes.
"Text me the address right now. Right when I hang up, you got it?" he orders.
"Why?"
"Just fuckin' do it. I'm going to go get her, she's not safe." He didn't want Steph to panic and he knew he had the tools to take care of trouble himself, he just had to get there in time.
"Okay, shit..yeah okay." she mumbles, hanging up and sending it.
Eddie's phone dings as he leaves his apartment through the window, venom carrying him with extended himbs down the fire escape to his bike. "You remember this okay? You know where this is?" he asks aloud to his partner.
"Yes. Go fast. I will make sure we do not wreck." he says sternly, just as worried about her as Eddie was.
Eddie zips through the streets, and thankfully she isn't too far away. He pulls up, seeing escalades and crotch rockets outside the building in question. He knew this was bad.
"You get me up on the roof?" he asks, and before he can receive an answer Venom envelopes his body and bounds onto the roof to find a place to get a good look.
"Eddie." he growls, looking through a hole in the ceiling, seeing Candy pushed in front of a grouping of men.
"Oh shit." Eddie squeaks. "We gotta get her."
"We have permission to eat these men?"
"Yes, yes, whatever we gotta do. They're bad guys, they're' gonna hurt her." he rushes out. Venom is about to crawl his way discreetly back down the building, but one of the men lay his hands on Candy and shouts in her face, backhanding her and pushing her to the ground. It lights a fire inside him that he only knew from fearing for Eddie. She was theirs and no one got to hurt her. His large fists raised, black obsidian boulders bashing through the weakened place in the roof. One time. Two times and it breaks through, sending debris and a grand distraction down to the floor where he lands on all fours, creating a blockade with Candy behind him.
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As if she wasn't terrified enough, her gun already drawn as she's rolled onto the ground, her eyes almost bug out of her head, kicking herself back as she sat on her butt, creating space between her and the monster. A loud shrill screech, an eardrum reverberating roar comes from the inky body of the beast, as it moves faster than she can almost comprehend in her shock, knocking men into walls so hard the cement cracks. It grabs them and bites their heads off, eating some whole as they shoot at it and it goes unphased. She moves quickly, trying to find a place to hide from it and the gunshots. She stays low, not wanted to chance catching a stray bullet and hides behind a pile of crates, covering her head and trying to control her breathing.
The chaos stops. The screams cease and an eerie quiet comes across the large open space. Her eyes haven't blinked since the creature appeared, her breathing shaky and uneven as her hands shook.
"Candy?" she hears the low, bass filled voice ask.
She gulps and makes a helpless sound.
"We will not hurt you." it says.
She hears the feet padding towards her slowly. She takes a deep breath, a loud gulp and with balled fists she wills herself to turn to face the source of the reassurance. She's shaking, but she's trying not to. WIth her jaw tight she lowers her brow, trying to appear more in control, slowly standing and turning, finding herself face to face with a giant quivering mass of black, white veins pulse and squirm across the broad expanse of its humanoid form. It stands nearly seven feet tall, built like an action figure with large and bulky limbs, it's hairless head with large slanted, opalescent eyes focus and blink as it looks at her. A mouth opens to speak, revealing a mouthful of teeth she'd only ever dreamed of being in the mouth of some megalodon dinosaur shark from her childhood nightmares.
With the reveal of it's most certainly lethal jaws, she whimpers and stumbles backward into a crate, not falling but the look of terror clear on her face. Venom slumps his posture, retreating it's forward-leaning stance as Eddie is telling him he's scaring her.
"Candy." he states again.
"Wh-wha what...? You?" she squeaks out. "What are you? You know my name?" she says with more confidence, leaning forward slightly, eyes not leaving it's as she tries to wrap her head around what she's seeing. She must've gotten hit in the head and this is all a hallucination. Some strange thing that happens when you're in a coma or something of that nature. But it felt real. It sounded real.
"Yes we do." he says simply, more quietly.
"We? Are there...oh shit are there other ones...oh god." she rushes out looking to the door and the windows quickly, backing against a wall and her chest starting to rise and fall quickly again.
"Yes. But none like us. They are not here. They cannot hurt you." he says, it's fingers that point into claws, rest at its sides.
"Are you gonna hurt me?" she rasps out and the sound hurts Eddie deep in his chest.
"No. Never. Eddie would never allow it." he says with a slow shake of his head.
"EDDIE?!" she says loudly, her chin hutting back into her neck in surprise at the mention of his name. "Whatthefuck? Eddie? How the fuck do you know Eddie?" she says quickly, her mouth open and her eyes worried.
"We...are Eddie. We are Venom." he says, it's massive paws moving to its chest.
"Lemme see her, you're scaring the shit out of her, man, change back." Eddie says from inside the symbiote's protection. He slowly soaks back into Eddie's skin, shrinking back down into the familiar form she knew and loved.
She stands with her mouth agape, her face contorting through several emotions, mainly different expressions of shock and confusion. "Eddie?" she whispers, eyes darting around the room again, checking to see if this was some glitch in the matrix she was experiencing because she was having a hard time comprehending that this could be real.
"Yeah. Uh...hiya Candy." he says with a reluctant wince, holding his hands up as if he were surrendering.
She blinks fast and stutters, mouth opening and closing like a fish as she can't find words to express herself.
"I guess there's somethin' I should tell ya." he says rubbing the back of his beck and grinning nervously.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" she shouts, not angry, feet stomping and fists clenched, her eyes looking him over, head shaking back and forth.
"I can explain." he says with a frown.
"YOU FUCKING BETTER! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK EDDIE?!" she screeches, moving closer, head guiding the way as she confronts him.
Venom's head with it's vein like attachments to Eddie's body forms and slithers up near his head and she makes a nervous noise and backs away again. "We uh..." Eddie swallows and smacks his lips. "I." he says putting his hands to his chest.
"We." Venom says, looking to Eddie.
"Yeah uh...both of us. We're this thing. Together."
"Uh huh?" she says with a mixed look of confusion and uncertainty.
"I am a symbiote. An alien from another planet. I was brought here. Eddie and I have bonded. I need him to live on your planet. We help each other. We are one in the same now. Together, we are Venom." he explains slowly and calmly as Eddie is swimming over his head in guilt at how terrified he'd made her.
"Venom?" she asks flatly, addressing the alien head, trying to take in its words and make sense of them.
"Yeah, that's his name." Eddie chimes in.
"Our name."
"Our name yeah. When we're together ya know. Like you saw." he gestures to nothing in particular.
"Uh," she says before taking a deep breath, raising her hands up and lowering them to steady herself. "So..." she begins. "An alien life form... this... gooey guy here." she says looking to the head and gesturing with her hand.
"Symbiote." he clarifies.
"This..." she shakes her head in disbelief again."This symbiote." she clarifies. "You're bonded? Like... physically right. LIke symbiotic?"
"Yeah, he needs me to live. I'm his host." Eddie says with a hesitant face.
She stares at them without saying anything for a moment, blinking with her mouth open, eyes shifting between the both of them. "This." she shakes her head quickly and raises her hands. "This is a lot." she says in an offended tone. She turns and takes a few steps, mumbling to herself. "You think you find a nice guy and he's been abducted by a fucking alien." she groans, hand running through her hair as she exhales loudly.
"Not abducted. Chosen. By me. We are extremely compatible. We work as one now." Venom elaborates.
She puts her hands on her hips and looks around the room that's starting to grow dark. "Okay?" she says shrugging. What else was she supposed to say to all this?
"She said we were nice." Venom says with a happier tone. Misreading the context of her statement.
"Not exactly what she meant, man." he mumbles back. "Uh..." Eddie steps towards her and clears his throat. "It's gettin' dark we need to get goin' before more of those guys show up."  he says, hesitantly reaching out to touch Candy's shoulder. He wanted to touch her, to know she was okay, but he'd lost that privilege, for now, he sees as she jumps out of her skin at the feeling, stepping away from him and putting her hands up between them.
She takes a shaky breath, eyes fluttering as she looks at the ground, ashamed of her reaction, but she was still entirely rocked by all this. There were too many questions to even form coherent thoughts. "Yeah. We should." she says softly.
"I got my bike. We could go back to my place? Or yours...whatever you want. I don't wanna make you anymore uncomfortable than I have. I'm sorry about this...you finding out this way. Can you...can you ride with me back?"
"With him?" she asks, pointing to Venom.
"Yeah he...he's been around a while now." he admits, wincing again.
"He has?" she says, eyes growing wide again.
"Yeah, there's...a lot to tell you Candy. And I wanna answer everything. I want you to know everything, okay? Can we get you safe? Can you ride home with me?" he asks reaching out for her.
She nods and lowers her gaze. "Yeah let's...let's go back to my place. I'd feel...better there." she says awkwardly avoiding Venom's staring.
"Quit starin' man, you're making her nervous. Go away for a little bit, we gotta get her home." he says, moving forward with a polite nod to her as he opens the door. Venom dissipates into Eddie and he reaches out for her hand to help her out of the narrow door.
She hesitates and it breaks his heart. She looks at his hand for a moment, and he leaves it still, eyes wide and sad as he watches the fear of him move across her face. She looks up at him, one smooth sweep of her eyes to his before moving back to his hand and finally taking it. -------
They enter her house, she's quieter than he's ever known her to be before. He quickly texts Steph he's got her at home and she's fine so they don't get interrupted. He fills a pack with ice and brings it to her. She looks at him confused.
"For your face." he says sweetly.
"Oh. Right." she shakes her head for a moment. "That." she says, moving to put it against her cheek.
He sits next to her on the love seat, where they'd been so close so many times before. But he keeps his distance this time. She went and changed out of her dirty clothes, already whooshing away in the washer beforehand. They share an awkward silence, the shifting of the bag of ice the only noise.
"You wanna ask me questions?" he finally breaks the silence.
"Yeah I'm just...I'm still shocked. I think. I'm wondering if any of this is happening at all." she admits, not looking at him.
"I  would like to assure you that it is. Most are confused by a new concept such as this. But you are very smart. Ask us questions, we will answer. Then we can lose this awkwardness." Venom states matter of factly.
"Man, why ya gotta bring it up like that it makes it worse."
"It is clear she is uncomfortable. We do not want her to be. This is the solution."
Candy watches their bickering and it humanizes the amorphous goo for her.
"But when there's tension you don't just say there's tension. We can both feel it we know." his face was clear with agitation.
"But this solves the problem."
"It's a matter of tact, man. You gotta know how to handle people and their emotions." he says annoyed.
"You barely have control over yours Eddie. You are in no place to be telling a lifeform with 600 million years of knowledge how to problem solve." he sass's back.
They both hear a tiny huff of a laugh from Candy who is watching them with a much softer face. They turn their heads at the same time and watch her and her subtle smile appear.
"So you have your own, like, personality and stuff, huh?" she says, making eye contact with Venom. This was good, Eddie thought. This was progress.
"Yes. I am a culmination of all I have learned from all my hosts and all their interactions and knowledge they hold."
"So Eddie isn't your first."
"No. There have been many others." he keeps his voice soft.
"Why did you come to earth?"
"We were taken by a man you know as Carlton Drake. I escaped. The others that came with me...died."
"Carlton Drake?" she asks, looking at Eddie.
"Yeah. Venom here was a part of the big takedown of the Life Foundation."
"Oh?" she says surprised.
"I found Eddie when he broke in. We bonded, living with him made me see things from a different perspective. Together we saved the planet. We stopped my team leader from returning home to bring others to Earth."
She blinks and looks back over to Eddie. "Save earth? When you broke in?" she asks, tilting her head with an accusatory tone.
"Yeah... I uh..." he shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Tell her Eddie. No secrets. You said no secrets when she found out about us."
"I would appreciate no secrets. No secrets is going to be the only way I don't break up with you for this." she states rather coldly. And he suspected he deserved it.
"Remember when I said I was sick?" he begins with a weary voice.
"I fucking knew you weren't sick." she says with narrowed eyes and pursed lips.
"Yeah. I'm sorry I lied. But, it was I'm sick or I have a symbiote who needs to eat people to survive now."
"He didn't want to lose you." Venom interjects.
"Oh, c'mon man." Eddie mumbles and looks away.
Candy's resolves falters, with Venom's admission.
"A scientist came to me, tellin' me I was right about what I was accusin' Drake of... the stuff that got me blacklisted. I wasn't gonna do anything about it, but people were dyin' Candy. They were takin' homeless people and testing on them and they were dyin' and it wasn't fair. He was insane, he really was." he says and sighs. "I wanted to prove myself. To you and to everyone else. I could redeem my name, get my life back if I could get in there and get proof."
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"He wanted to be better... for you." Venom once again interjects with what really should be said but what Eddie was too afraid to admit. Once again Candy's heart softens.
"I.." he slumps and meets her eyes with his ashamed ones. "I did." he nods and looks away. "I wasn't gonna get any better livin' how I was. And you deserved better... and you knew that and I didn't see any other way to be worth your time unless I was somebody again."
"When I told you I thought you should get your shit together...breaking into the Life Foundation isn't what I meant." she says with a sigh.
"I know I just. I had to. I couldn't keep livin' in the shadow of it." he shakes his head.
"This is the part where I come in." Venom gives what he thinks is a smile and she sheepishly returns it.
"Yeah, I broke in with the doctors help and then it all happened real fast... Venom bonded to me, we escaped, I tried to go to Anne to have her tell somebody about what I saw. I had pictures, proof."
"You went to Anne?" she asks with a much less enthusiastic voice.
"She was a big lawyer, she had connections no one else did. What I did to Drake got her fired too cause we were togehter and I got the information from her so she was a victim in all this too 'cause 'a me." it all comes spilling out and it's an odd pleasurable pain to feel, coming clean.
She looks to Venom to see if he's lying, as he seems to be the one telling her the full truth. "This is true. She was the only one that coule help us. Eddie hurt her, she deserved the redemption as well." he states simply.
"Her new boyfriends a surgeon, and I was acting all kinds of crazy. All that was true that I told you, about the..." he pauses, "parasite..." he whispers " but it was because of him." he nods to Venom. " I didn't know what was happening to me and I wasn't in control and we were fighting for control and Dan, that's his name, Dan, he took me and tried to get me better. But when I got back home Drake's men came after me. There was a big chase-"
She interrupts his story. "Holy shit that bike chase was you." she says with wide concerned eyes.
"Oh yeah it was fuckin' nuts Candy, I tell ya. I almost died. I broke my legs and my arms and it was crazy." he rushes out.
"Broke your legs and arms? What?" she asks with a tilt of her head.
"I healed him." Venom states and she blinked fast at him.
"Healed him?" she inquires.
"Yes. I can control Eddie's bodily functions if I wish. I can heal him when he is hurt."
"Oh. Wow." she says, impressed. "That's...that's really helpful." she says looking to Eddie.
"Yeah, it's a perk."
"So if you got hurt... like someone hurt you, he could heal it?" she asks Eddie.
"Yes. We almost died. Taking down my team leader to keep Earth safe."
They both see the sadness in her eyes and the mutual feeling of relief to see it still there and also the fact that she was feeling it made them shift anxiously.
"You almost died?" she whispers, reaching out to touch his knee and she doesn't even think about it.
"Yeah I got speared through the chest...actually." he laughs nervously.
"You fucking what?" she says with a wrinkle of her nose. "But you can't even tell you..no scars or anything." she says looking to his chest.
"I healed him. I keep him running if I am fed."
"That's another thing..." Eddie begins. "He needs this chemical, phenylethylamine to function. And it's found in things like chocolate and what not but it's best if it's in the form of...well..." he winces.
"Brains. Human brains." Venom says what's hard to Eddie to discuss.
"That why you...ate those guys back there?"
"Yes. And because they hurt you. We would not allow anyone who hurt you and get away with it." Venom elaborates and the corner of her mouth turns up into a smile.
She shifts her eyes over to Eddie. "It's true." he says with those puppy eyes she's weak to.
"So you got your job back because the truth about the Life Foundation came out, and I'm guessing those first breaking photos were ones you took, right?"
"Right."
"And you didn't take credit for it?"
"I wanted to be finished with it.  I don't want anything to do with that place again." he says with a slow shake of his head.
"But...aren't they gonna want him back?" she points to Venom.
"All of those who knew are dead."
"Oh." she says with wide eyes. "All of them?"
"Yes. We did not kill them though. For the record." he adds.
Candy lets out a little chuckle, an alien using human turns of phrase struck her as funny at the moment.  "Well, that's good. I guess. For us." she shrugs and lets out a noisy sigh.
"Us?" Eddie can't help but blurt out.
"Well yeah. I mean...So, me, you, Anne and...?"
"Dan."
"Dr. Dan know about Venom, and they aren't gonna tell anyone since they haven't yet so that ties up the loose ends."
Venom lets out a low laugh. "I like her. She is so logical." he smiles.
"Thanks." she nods. "So are you."
"Except when he's hungry. He's an asshole when he's hungry." Eddie clarifies.
"So...you've been with Eddie for months then."
"Yes."
"Which means..." she sighs and knits her brow. "You've been with him when we've..." she tilts her head.
"Yes." Venom clarifies.
"Uh huh. That's a little weird. I would've liked a heads up before you unknowingly roped me into a threesome ya know." she says with an only half joking pout.
"Yeah. I...I'm sorry about that too. But...I didn't want to tell you because this is..." he makes an unsure face.
"Fucking insane?" she clarifies with a grin.
"Exactly."
"He did not tell you because he did not want you to leave us. He won't' say it. I will for the sake of keeping him happy. We really like you Candy. I have wanted to interact with you for a long time."
"Well he's lucky I'm an idiot who has a soft spot for other idiots apparently," she says with a smirk to Eddie who accepts the criticism gladly.  "I get why you didn't tell me but...you should have." she states obviously.
"Yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't exactly know how to bring up this whole situation."
"Yeah." she sighs.
"I told him to tell you sooner." Venom interjects.
"Seems like I owe you a thank you...Venom." she says. "I don't know if I should like, shake your hand or something?" she chuckles. "You saved my life back there...do you even have hands? What's this sharing a body situation like?" she asks in a much more casual way.
"Complicated." Eddie says.
A oozy tendril emerges from the stringy body that flows behind Venom's formed head. "We can shake hands. I would like to touch you." he says a tentacle forming solid and splitting into a hand shape.
"Don't be weird, man." Eddie says, swatting the reaching limb away.
"No, it's okay. I mean..." she shrugs. "I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious." she admits.
"She is honest Eddie. I like her." Venom almost coos.
"Thanks." she says, holding out her hand.
Venom reaches out slowly, closing the space between them. The feel reminded her of a snake, you expect one thing out of it, cold and clammy, but it's warm and soft instead. It's solid but it had give under her fingers as she gripped it, moving her hand up and down and watching as the blackness moved around her hand. It changes from a shake, pushing between her fingers, wrapping it's formless hand around her like it was interlacing its fingers with hers, it felt affectionate and soft, encasing her fingertips and lapping around her wrist. It didn't hurt, it wasn't unpleasant but it was strange. "You are so soft, Candy." Venom says, little tentacles stroking the back of her hand lovingly.
"So are you." she says with a shifting brow of interest. "You're a lot warmer than I expected."
"You are smoother than I expected." he retorts and she smiles.
"So you just lay in wait in Eddie'ds body while we..." she quirks a brow.
"Yes. I feel what he feels, in every way. Every sensation, every thought, every feeling."
"It's annoying." Eddie says with a  frown.
"I don't know..." she shrugs, pulling her hand back and Venom heeds her wishes. "That seems sort've...nice." she shrugs, her voice inflecting upward.
"See. She gets it Eddie. I told you she would."
"Yeah but she doesn't have to live with you all the time. Just wait." he says rolling his eyes as Venom moves to nuzzle his face against Eddie's. Candy lets out the first laugh since the shock of learning about him, and it melts them both to hear it, to know there was hope for normalcy again for them. As strange as normal had become for them.
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Fish Of The World T Shirt From AllezyGo
When to do is amenity parts of an AMC theater near you become a Fish Of The World T Shirt From AllezyGo moving disappointed in his walk right up to my desk say Danielle to get to meetand talk to meand we will soon the theater pursue the studio if you’d like to know the scene is young boy right here is my last Transformers legacy is counted here is all grown up like in the early we hired this guy let’s get them Jeremy let’s do it Mr Ellis I thank you ice it should be pointed out that you are still not rich correct no I’m not out of the meter is a liar I was next in 19 like your favorite team in space can balance a new election agreement between style I can draft I can allow the crap directed him to bring the movie were prescribed 20 crusting are irrational because another tarmac on the first fanand I explained to him I buy but I love that comment from James Gunn that that’s awesome which actually makes you certainly wonder what could they have in the bowsprit seat obviously Gabby Santos doing something significant not just grabbing a glove going I go do it myself like Cemex to present these could be due to the significant that directly sets up what’s moving forward the model cinematic universe by the club I thought was really funny again they seem to be putting a lot of focus on the racks in a lot of the marketing is funny one linersand and once again he gave a pretty damn funny one liner this when he saved my I am my turds are famously larger something a lot of my I thought it was great now something interesting is how to Shelley’s point is out of this was debuted last of this past weekend on televisionand it was online but only checked earlier just this morning the clip had been removed from a few sites apparently do this to your request I don’t know going otherwise you are present taken with or even aired on television I’m not really sure it is still online in some places not in others of iron with stories that maybe you will be of the find it online maybe you walk but over I thought the clip is pretty good in my office I only was this silly gut busting but I don’t think it really had to be a thing what it did was showcase the dynamic once againand the showcase what sometimes insert moviesand I go back to the first story know some people disagree with me but I thought Dennings was just completely useless in a moving ally catand the humor itself when humor is done right it’s like guarding the galaxy the way that is put together is ready accepted that this is how they’re going to interact with one another yet when it comes time for it to be epic in the any action to deliver that way to buy I really I think the focus was once again on Batista because like your mission before Batista was a guy that you watching the goal is just it’s he is not the rock United not not many people is whether ox rock but you wondered whether or not he was going to have a film career but the way that he kind of the role attracts is not that Shakespeare not Bonnie Devito need a seasoned thespian the play know you also you gotta have a from what they rely on him to do is nail this it does he moments in comedy is not easyand he from what we’ve seen so far in eclipse as really impressed me out we’ll see what is an avid movie but they been leaning on him in these clips whether it him sitting around when it went to talking about each of their feelings have every line he sits a far as been getting some big laugh so I think that you gotta give credit to Batista so far of the fact that there leaning so hardand himand them in the market you know as funny as I was a I was wondering why they had a poop joke as the backbone of this trailer that I found out it aired on the kids jolly okay makes a little more sense I’ve back I love you I hope you likeand AMA are aliveand I wasn’t crazy but I like the back of for the guardians of the galaxy for some other reason Mike Larry the cable Guy is not in this movie stop at the poop jokes will be up joke with in the Emerson site is always sunny in Philadelphia but for me in the in guarding to the galaxy just didn’t work for me whatsoever if you want to talk about more shit we have transform as a last night Mark what did you think I get one dignity to be talking about neck in the meantime after watching this clip I’m confident I will not be filing a lawsuit on behalf of my client Jeremy regarding sagacity volume 2 this is what I wanted to see two because I like seeing rocket inand Star award the first material we ever saw it seem like rocket might be stranded from the rest of the guardians for a bulk of the movieand it doesn’t appear that the case I love when they’re all interactingand throwing one liners backand forth together to discuss is me a lot confidence in thatand the news that is to be post credit scene is literally a shock to no one at alland there’s a lot of family members I could have imperiled that I would say you have to wait another five mask is I have to watch a little more guardian’s goodness I was next first class from the train transformation in the block after arriving in the new credit painting I nylon a clad planner also really need TV you like my father returns from 2014 contaminated extensionand will be joining gangs do not need to see John came from in 1920 13 I think putting team by sending you had to go to Manis when it’s I can’t sell this stupid movie enoughand Iand I sell it because of Michael Bay I just you just look at it it’s like the same crap it’s like the glossy nonsense with the bullshit dialogueand it’s like I hated to readand I’m not getting sold on this trailer it’s the same crapand the only thing that I did say as the music is so good Steve DuBois always good to see always so goodand occasionally it does give me hope that something can happen through but it does it looks like this is a commercial with the music videoand it just does not shoot you want to change it to make it different looks assume that the clips that they put out the little TV spot having seen this movieand I hated ready to sell it because transfers rolling up to things in one eye other than the first transporters I love I hated all the movies but I love all the marketing every time no matter what I think the trailers for this movie have been awfuland this is the worst of them alland they’ll when you hear a lot of people complain thoseand interest the series that the DiFranco French as you say has standing to their plans of the truly love it but amongst those who are critics of the of the French as a far one of these lot people complain about is Silverlight is always humans are the humans we want to see Transformers today put out the speech Martin it’s like little chance of running with 209 surprisingand go there with 209 it is going to toand I insult to injury they hadand 209 to itand it looked awful but only delayed to you pointed out something else to look a look even more life yet was the gecko familiar salad bar meand I was like that is a gecko for metal gear solid for the pivoting had begun the bipedal feet the way he walks was completelyand for sure are you sure you have now I’m just running with it okay here is one thing I can say is your right the Transformers trailer was darkand the moon still is a good trailer I can actually watch the trailer with the musicand do it even though I saw in each is the way it it stands up but I agree with you the trailers for this one have been noticeably worseand one thing I can say is the trailer campaign for this particular Transformers movie have been more honest probably because no one wants to hire attorney Mark Ellis over here because the trailers were so it looks bad it probably is going be bad like Dracula for Michael Bay his turds are a famously largeand long lines long in two hoursand 40 minutes I way for this one gun youand that if any Transformers movies at this pointand thisand had a lot of kids in itand if you going about you know that I love the wonderment in a child’s eye it it’s so obvious what they’re doing now though is that they’ve given up on us to get up on people like us people who grow plainly Transformers toys in the 80sand 90s they had that ship has sailed they hope that were taking our kids to see it this is going after the kids because they’re trying to hook it’s likeand drive substrate things in the CAT scan Michael Bay did not see thisand the godliness of a building I do that so work in a pan this movie to grabbed the moneyand the cycle just repeats itself the bottom line is do a lot of drugsand go see this I know why it’s in the back of the brain tell me this movie might be good no only reason this is terrible logic terrible logic the nobody’s ever follow I loved all the marketing for the other ones made movies for this may be a flip around Vegas everyone this will release you want outand at least a win would be it wasn’t terrible that youand I don’t knowand we were all here like three months agoand really got his movies get time traveling Hitlerand King are these to be ridiculous I wouldn’t give person King Arthur fighting Hitler right now is better than what I saw today ceiling Michael Bay I say right now I will crown Michael Bayand national hero if he actually gives us as seen of Merlin with Excalibur in his hand fighting a Nazi Hitlerand taking down Hitlerand I see that I’m gonna be alland all you forgive everything elseand I’ll be calling on movie if that plan theories that come into would love to see that we see King Arthur golf against Hitler one on one I will stand upand I will say Your Honor objection withdrawn utilize via the spirit of Hitler is going to possess a deceptive conand is going to be the new go prime is what is often is with I having bumblebee is the spirit of Hitler we just it is because took Hitler’s brainand put in the optimist prime’s had connected with the matrix of leadershipand now off to his prime is a transforming summary DeSantis is good for you will know the eye is one makes you guys know this is not the only show on the collider video there’s a lot of other stuff going on the availability of the brand new episode adjustment to the crew TV talk to be online saloon believes they also last night the brand new episode of The Walking Dead recaps of your collider was also onand of course the brand new episode of Jerry Johnson oh secular is badand so does a link for it in the description below many of you wrote us you know set there was a new episode of the next round of the March movie madness billand started this past week I was ill on Thursday was able to shootand she that this Thursday keep your eye open for that sourcing at the end of the show were to take some time since we live twitter questions you start firing is in right now collider video on Twitter makes your fine was thereand when you pick up loud for you that let’s go to the mailbag Ashley was in the mailbag today array. CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT THEY DO IS GANG IN THE WORLDand ON THE CUBE WAS CUT OFF SCREEN THINGS ALL THE VIOLENCE IS A GOOD REALISTIC MODEL TO BE TWICE MY IS A THINK WE WOULD GUNS IN HIS BC PEOPLE IS NO CERTAIN SITUATIONS WHERE THE IS NOWHERE BUT LOST HIS WAYS WE CAN FIND A WAY OUT ON WE CAN’T SAY THE DESIGNS NOT TO BE HIS MAIN PUERTO RICAN TO STAY. A liaison come back in episode eight is a force ghost which I know one thing is that if we Skywalker dies I will run up to the front as grantee on an iMacand a happy blogger dies at the end of episode seven I want now is Harrison Fordand Carrie Fisher to Tweet out that their brother so they do not episode set in this particular without a spoiler from Natick as well as in the ad campaigns with all the noticing where the hell is Luke we think as he looked towards the end of the film thirdand Carrie in episode it’s not surprising all night you can call it a spoiler if you want we all assume this was happening at his confirmation is something we already pretty much knew don’t call it a spoiler is more of a okay LOL I show now or mailbag if you got a topic or question you like us to dress in the show just email us anytime at collider video Gmail
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Chapter 44 - The date, the non-date and the no date (Part Two)
(Not proofread because why should I)
In the previous chapter: Angie convinces Meg to have a talk with Mike to finally clear up things between them. Stone meets Grace outside the gallery, it turns out Stone did some research and found out the identity of the guy she's apparently dating right now, he also went to the shop where he works to spitefully torment him. Grace knows it was him although he denies, she explains that guy is only a friend and directly asks Stone out for the evening. Stone is surprised and says yes. Eddie briefly leaves the gallery after Stone comes back, he spots Angie's car parked outside Roxy's in an unusual time of the day, he enters the diner and meets the girl, who tells him she's working a different shift and it'll end in a few hours, Eddie takes a chance and asks her if she'd like to hang out together after work and she accepts. When Eddie goes back to the gallery he's locked out, the band's playing inside and can't hear him knock on the door. While he's waiting outside under the drizzle he starts jotting down the lyrics of a song based on what he can hear through the door and inspired by his latest interaction with Angie.
**
“Hey Mike, I was beginning to lose hope” I open the large metal door and the state of Eddie as he appears on the other side suggests that it must have started raining again.
“Why?”
“Well I've been knocking for an hour to get in” he explains running inside.
“Really? Sorry man, we didn't hear anything”
“Don't worry, it's ok” the song we've been working on is slow, but the volume must have been really  loud if we didn't hear him.
Eddie pats on my back and then takes off his rain drenched jacket, as he follows me down to the basement.
“Finally! It's about time! How long does it take to put some fucking change in a parking meter?” Jeff welcomes back his roommate throwing a basketball card at him, one of the many he's been buying lately and spreading all over the place.
“We thought you got lost. Or found a very original way to ditch us and go back to San Diego” Stone remarks, while Eddie picks up the card landed on the floor.
“It took me like thirty seconds to put money in the meter, I spent the rest of the time right here outside, knocking on the door like a crazy person, waiting for you to give a fuck about me”
“I didn't hear anything” Stone talks to Dave, who answers and shrugs.
“Me neither”
“Anyway... while you were outside playing with coins, we didn't waste any time and came up with a new song, just saying” Stone keeps on picking on the guy, who gives me the card and walks up to the guitarist: it's Derrick Coleman of the Nets.
“Actually, I didn't waste any time either” Eddie pulls out a small scrap of paper from his pocket, opens it and keeps it at Stone's nose length. Gossard looks at him perplexed.
“What's that?”
“The new song I came up with, based on what I could hear through the wall. Consider that all I could hear was the bass so I basically wrote the lyrics on that” Eddie retorts kinda humbly, but showing a certain satisfaction.
“You mean you just heard a couple of vibration from outside and already wrote down the song?” I ask him just as surprised as the others, at least judging from their faces.
“Well, since I had to wait anyway, I thought fuck it I might as well write something and optimize our time. Anyway it's just a draft, also because I'd like to hear the song better”
“Oceans?” Stone asks, now holding the precious sheet of paper in his hands.
“The flow of the song reminded me of the waves... and I miss going with my surfboard, I had to write a little love song for it sooner or later, it was just a matter of time” Vedder explains as he opens up a water bottle Jeff has just handed to him.
“It's a weird song actually, it's all bass and drums, I don't know if it's gonna end up in this album, it hasn't got much to do with the rest. But it's been going around my head since yesterday, I had to take it out” Ament tells us again about his inspiration.
“Come on, don't worry, you're gonna meet again soon... right?” I ask while I peek at Eddie's lyrics from behind Gossard's back and Eddie's face suddenly loses color.
“What?”
“You and your surfboard, when we'll be in San Diego” I explain.
“Anyway let's just try this song once again all together, ok?” Stone gives back the lyrics to their owner.
“Yeah, but ehm first... I wanted to say... well, when I was away I remembered one thing...” Eddie basically tears the sheet of paper off Stone's hands and starts stammering out.
“What? That you miss your surfboard too much and you're quitting the band to go back home?” the guitarists jokes again, but I sort of guess that behind all these ironic remarks about Eddie leaving the band there's some kind of attempt at dispelling bad luck. Things are going great, our first tour is about to start and the album looks promising. This means Stone has got everything under control, but at the same time he's terrified by the idea something could go wrong, that's why he's constantly breathing down our back, especially Eddie's. I mean, the situation after Andy's death was a fucking mess, for everyone: when Stone reached out to me to start over with a new project I had almost become a republican, whereas Jeff was seriously thinking about giving up music, he was playing with other guys but as far as I know he was this close to fucking everything up and going back to Montana. Then I convince Stone to call him and the three of us, finally, begin to look like a band. Matt helped us recording our first demo to pass around as we were looking for a drummer and a singer and while we were waiting for Eddie we also found Dave Krusen. All the pieces came together magically and we really lucked out finding someone like Eddie, I mean, someone who's given a tape with music, records the song the following day and sends it back straight away, who's already on a plane to Seattle two weeks later and ready to start working... where the fuck can you find someone else like that? Stone can try and act cool as much as he wants, but he's cleary afraid that some random bullshit could fuck up this favorable planetary alignment. I'm even starting to suspect that all this idea about getting Eddie and Angie together is not really because of Angie, Cantrell and stuff, but rather to have Eddie somehow settle down here in Seattle, to give him one more reason to stay.
“Hehe no. I just, I remembered I have something to do so I need to leave a little earlier”
“How much earlier?”
“Well by six-ish...”
“SIX?! ARE  YOU KIDDING?” Jeff yells clearly angry and I can't see why, he's never been so fussy about timing.
“What do you have to do? Where do you have to go?” I ask blatantly poking my nose into his personal shit.
“Oh nothing I gotta... I promised to help a person with... something... and I have to go” he vaguely answers.
“Ok, can't you go an hour later?” the bass player insists.
“Uhm no, it'd be too late then” he explains as he walks up to the mic stand.
“Aw come on, it's not a big deal! We can just call it quits at six. One more or less hour wouldn't matter at this point” Stone hadn't opened his mouth yet and that was suspect. Now that he does we're all shocked.
“It wouldn't matter?” Dave stands up then sits down better, Stone's comment probably made him fall off his stool.
“It would matter because they basically opened this place only for us today, giving us the keys, and we payed, in advance, to stay here until seven o'clock. Not to mention that I've just payed for parking until seven” I finally understand why Ament is getting all worked up, what I can't understand is why Stone's so calm.
“Since when are you so tight with your money, Jeffrey?”
“If being tight means to not throw your money out of the window, I'd say since forever!”
“Anyway, can't we just stop wasting time? Let's start playing it with Eddie singing his lyrics, so we'll have all the time to make changes before six and he can go... doing what he has to do. At that point, the ones who've got their part ready can leave too, the others will stay here until seven” Stone tells us his plan to stop arguing with Jeff.
“And it's totally by chance that your part is already done, right?” the bassist retorts giving him a side look.
“Come on, let's start” Gossard ignores him and right when he grabs his guitar we can hear a ring in the distance, coming from the upper floor.
“What's that?” I ask myself but in a loud voice.
“That's the phone” Jeff gives me the obvious answer, followed by the obvious sarcastic remark by Stone.
“Nah, it's just the first trumpet of the Apocalypse, when it gets to the seventh we should start worrying about it”
“You can hear the faint ring of a phone but can't hear me knocking down the door with punches?” Eddie shakes his head while the phone at the reception of the gallery keeps ringing.
“The machine will pick it up” Dave says after we spend long minutes looking at one another without knowing what to do.
“What if it doesn't? What if it's urgent? Maybe it's for us” I suggest without moving, exactly like the others.
“Go answer then” Stone says.
“Why me?”
“Because apparently you're the only one who gives a fuck about that”
“You care too, it's just you don't want to move your lazy ass”
“True, I confirm Mikey's words, that's why I sent Eddie to feed the meter in my place”
“I moved my lazy ass when I went to buy cigarettes for everyone, so...”
“I've just come back” Eddie shrugs and leaves it to Krusen and me, as we're now exchanging uncertain looks.
“You're closer” the drummer states in the end, pointing first at me and then towards the stairs with one of his sticks.
I scoff and go upstairs, pretty slowly at first, hoping the phone'll stop ringing in the meantime; but once I'm halfway I speed up, thinking that the sooner I answer the sooner I'll be able to go back to rehearsal.
“Hello”
“Hello, finally... ehm Mike, is it you?”
I recognize Meg's bright and slightly nasal voice at the first syllable of hello.
“Yeah, it's me. What's up? Are you and Melanie into phone pranks now?” I ask and I'm torn between the instinctive warm feeling of euphoria from hearing her voice again and the fact I know she's about to insult me.
“No, this is not a prank”
“Listen, can you do me a favor? Could you please call me at home and leave all the death threats to the answer machine? I'm kinda busy now here with rehearsing and stuff, I promise that when I get home later I'll listen to them all.
“I don't wanna talk to a machine, Mike, I wanna talk to you and... well, possibly face to face”
“I think I was already a good target the other night, Meg, I don't think there's nothing more to say, unless you invented brand new swear words to tell me”
“I didn't invent anything and I don't mean to insult you. I don't wanna quarrel, I'd just like to have a civilized and respectful conversation with you, do you think it's possible?”
“It's a trap, right?” I ask and meanwhile I picture the exact scene of me showing up at a theoretical date and, after waiting a few minutes, being attacked by my two exes jumped out from the darkness of the alley (because in my fantasy the date is very late at night in a smokey and disreputable alley), armed with baseball bats.
“No, I can assure you, no tricks” she replies just like someone who's planning a deadly trap.
“Excuse me, I really don't understand what you want from me”
“See you, to talk, clear things up. You could come over to my place, maybe tonight, what do you think?” she suggests and her apartment surely seems more inviting than the alley, not safer though.
“And where's the scam here?” I insist with my suspicion.
“There's no scam, Mike, I just want to... umph, the other night I didn't give you the chance to explain, right? I was mad at you so... well, now, in the light of the day, I cooled off and I want you to explain”
“What should I explain?”
“What the fuck do you think you have to explain? What's going on, what's really happening here! Why did you act like that, what are your feelings, if you still have feelings for me or not, you know, I'd like to know” why does she want to know if she  hates me? Maybe she doesn't hate me that much anymore.
“So, you're not mad at me now?”
“No, I mean, not that much. And anyway, it depends on what you have to say”
No, she's definitely not angry anymore. And she's inviting me over tonight, to talk and maybe make peace. Actually Violet's incoherent plan, although totally by chance and unexpectedly, might have worked. Jesus, I'm sure it worked and if I see Meg tonight I already know what's gonna happen: there's gonna be some detatched coldness at the beginning, she'll have me talk, then she'll say she cares for me and only wants me to be honest, I'll tell her I care for her too, but I'm afraid of fucking up again and if she wants we can start all over, taking it slow, hang out and see how things work. She'll say yes for sure and things'll go back to what they were before. That's what I wanted after all, right? So why am I not happy? Why am I not jumping up and down for joy? Why am I looking at my reflection in the mirror at the top of the stairs an all I can see is a confused and kinda annoyed expression? Maybe it's because I sort of liked being by myself these days, free to be what I am, not having to answer to anybody about what I do, without having to always pay attention to what I say, how I say it and why, careful not to make anyone angry, hiding this or that thing to avoid the eventual drama everytime. Maybe it's because I know that see how things work wouldn't be an initial phase, it'd last forever, we'd be stuck in this fucking limbo once again, halfway between being a couple and being friends, very comfortable for me but not at all for her. But she would settle for that all the same for whatever reason and I'd take advantage of that, as always. Or maybe it's because after all I miss Melanie a little and I've never thought about her as much as I'm doing these days, about her and how I actively sabotaged the umpteenth good thing that was happening to me.
“I don't know, Meg. Do you really think it's a good idea?” come on, you know that too, you know we'd end up doing very little talking and solving our problems in the bedroom, getting into the usual vicious circle that is our relationship.
“Yeah, I really do. We need to get things straight once and for all and make a decision, whatever it is” she repeats and she perfectly know I'm not good at making decisions, at being coherent with what I decide.
“Ok, but I need-”
“I'll wait for you tonight then, can you make it at seven? What about Chinese for dinner, would you like that? Or you can take something on the way here”
“Meg, actually I... I'm really busy with practice and stuff”
“Chinese then, don't worry! I'm ordering for you, I know what you like”
“Don't know if I can make it”
“Haha ok, you're allowed to be half an hour late, then I'll start eating, you're warned!”
“Mikey, are you alive?” Stone's cry gives me an excuse to hang up.
“Sorry, Meg, gotta go, we can discuss that another ti-”
“Yeah, I heard the jerk too. See you later!” Meg says bye and doesn't even give me the time to answer.
“Who was that?” Gossard asks when I'm back into the basement.
“Let me guess: you're leaving early too, aren't you?” Jeff questions in a threatening way.
“No,” I answer, since I've just made, maybe for the first time in my life, a clear and definitive decision “I'm not going anywhere”
*************************************************************************************************************************
“Cut me some slack, I've been practicing for ten hours straight”
“Practicing? Do you think sleeping with a guitar in your hands counts as practicing?”
“As long as you don't drop it...”
In one go I write the dialogue I was finally inspired into after days of writer's block. The form can be adjusted, but at least I found something my character can tell after the first sentence, I just needed a joke to start the conversation. I don't know what'll come out of it, honestly I don't even know were this story I started a couple of days ago is going, and it's strange becase every time I start writing something I already have the whole thing in my mind, from the beginning to the end, at least generally. This looks more like a sequence of small disconnected scenes, since there's no real plot, that are linked to each other by the presence of the same characters and locations: it's basically like a sitcom. Strange is also the fact there are no monsters, ghosts, zombies or bloodthirsty killers, at least up to now. We'll see, right now it's just a little non sense thingie with zero expectations, I've got piles of notepads filled with stories I began and never ended, it's a good excercise anyway though, isn't it?
I close the notebook and as I lean down to put it in my bag together with the pen, I look to the right at the window and see Eddie on the other side, standing with his hands stuck in his pockets. When I smile at him he nods and and rushes towards the door.
“Here you are”
“Hey, hi... I swear I've just come here, I wasn't spying on you or anything” he explains walking up to the table I've been sitting waiting for him, pointing at the diner's window in front of him.
“Haha pff I know! So, can we go?” I stand up, pull up the bag from the floor and place it where my butt was until seconds ago while I take my coat from another chair.
“Sure, I'm ready if you are. Are you ready? Did I come here too much in advance?” he asks looking at his watch first, then at the clock on the wall.
“Oh no, don't worry, I've been here ready for a while now”
“Fuck, have you been waiting for long? I'm late then”
“Mmm no, I'd say you're on time... Is everything alright, Eddie?” he looks strange, as if he's on pins and needles or just in a hurry.
“Yep, sure, why?”
“Nothing, just saying...” it must be the effect of heavy practicing “By the way, where are the guys?” I put on my coat and scarf and look through the window searching for the figures of our friends “Are they waiting at the car?”
“The... the guys?”
“And do you know whose care are we taking? I mean, are you taking. Because I'd rather drive mine, so I can leave earlier if I get tired without ruining it for everybody, but it depends anyway” I go on as I walk towards the exit. I don't wanna stay out late, also because I think I've been sitting on a cold since the night party at the beach, the tearing in one eye as the main evidence. Anyway I guess it'd be stupid to take my car and drive alone if they use the van where there's enough room for everyone; if they took Stone's car though, that would be another story, maybe Eddie could come with me to the place. The only certain thing is that McCready and his crazy driving won't be there: I sense Mike's gonna stand us up tonight, also because when Meg decides something nothing and nobody can stop her. And well, I also had a little something to do with her deciding.
“Everybody?” Eddie slowly walks behind me, wasn't he on a hurry just one minute ago?
“It also depends on where we're going, because if it's far I need to hit the gas station first” I exit the diner and walk into the parking lot taking a look around, expecting Stone's usual dramatic entrance, but I can't see anyone yet.
“Uhm no, it's close...”
“Our heroes? Are they still at the gallery? Do I have to go there and gently tell them to get their ass over here?” I joke pointing at the nearby building and I think I'm talking to Eddie behind me, but when I turn around I see he's still on the doorway of the diner basically and has an illegible expression on his face.
“NO! Ehm, no, they're not at the gallery”
“They're on the way then”
“No, well, actually... they're not”
“Excuse me?”
“I mean they're not, they're not coming with us tonight”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I... actually I thought that...”
“Did they stand us up?”
“Yes, exactly.” he admits after hesitating for a moment “They stood us up, they totally ditched us, Angie, I'm sorry”
“I can't believe that” I flail my arms in disbelief: they're really idiots then! I mean, I'm here, always trying to convince Eddie, reassure him that the others really like him and care for him, that he's building friendships and not just professional bonds and they don't hang out with him just because he's their singer and they feel they have too because of Jeff... and what do they do? The only time he suggests something, they ditch him! Seems legit.
“Well, they were busy”
“Yeah, I can imagine... what kind of excuses did they come up with? And they were all busy right today?”
“Jeff has a date with his girlfriend, same for Dave. And you know they're expecting a baby, he can't always hang out with us, especially since we're leaving or she's gonna kick his ass. Legitimately” he replies and actually Dave doesn't go out with us too often, even though, as far as know, his pregnant  girlfriend is only one of his many problems. No, maybe the pregnant girlfriend is one of the very little things that's not a problem in that guy's life.
“What about Stone? Oh and Mike?” I ask about Gossard first because Mike's the only one I was already expecting to stood us up, but then I add the guitarist too, to avoid arousing suspicion.
“Mike... ehm, Mike's working, Stone remained vague, anyway he said that he had to help someone with, I don't know, something, whatever” his hesitation mentioning Mike is so evident, I'd smell a rat even if I didn't know about Meg's plan. Eddie can be very mysterious at times, but at the same time he's like an open book, written in capital bold letters.
“Usual stupid excuses then”
“Plausible excuses, come on” he retorts walking up to me and now I finally understand what was all that being nervous about: he wasn't in a hurry, he was just embarrassed. He didn't know how to tell me the others weren't coming. Or worse. Shit. What if he's embarrassed because at this point it'd be just the two of us and he feels he has to go out with me even if it's not what he planned? Maybe he doesn't really feel like hang out with me alone but doesn't want to take back the invitation because he doesn't want to offend me. I wouldn't be offended anyway. Sure I wouldn't be happy about it... this was the perfect excuse for staying out of my apartment and give some space to Meg and Mike. And then, well, ok, it'd be also because it's with Eddie and it's a fact that I like to spend time with Eddie. But on the other hand I can understand if he feels uncomfortable at the idea.
“What do we do now?” I give him the chance to retreat, although I hope he won't.
“Well, we can go all the same, I mean, if you want to, if it's not a problem for you” he shrugs and smiles, while he tortures that square inch of facial hair he calls soul patch.
“No”
“No?” he repeats slouching his shoulders.
“No, meaning no, it's not a problem, I think we can go all the same too”
“Uh ok, let's go then! We're taking your car though, also because my car is at my place, I mean, I got no car” he says as he jogs towards my Mini Cooper.
“Ok, but...”
“But?” he stops and quickly turns around when he already has one hand on my car's roof.
“But... you don't have to do it only to make me happy. I mean, don't feel you have to just because you don't want to ditch me, I won't get offended, I can tell purposedly being stood up by an asshole from an involuntary no-show and yours would surely belong to the second cathegory. If someone plans a certain kind of night out and then it turns out as something completely different it's not like you have to... Hey what did I say? Why are you laughing?” as I speak Eddie leans against the narrow hood of my car, his arms folded, then starts chuckling, covering his face with his hand.
“Hehehe no, it's just... you're unbelievable. And disarming. Yeah, disarming, that's the most appropriate word”
“Did you drink? Ok you're not driving, but I think it's not the best way to start the evening. Even though, well, considering you're forced to spend it with me, alcohol could definitely help”
“I didn't drink, I'm extremely sober and ready to start the evening. With you, if you want to. Do you want to or not?” he retorts, suddenly really serious and his quick change almost scares me.
“I-”
“No bullshit please”
“Yes, I want to”
“Ok, because in that case I was thinking about a French bakery at Pike Place Market, I pass by it everytime I go there, but I never got in, and I can't wait to go there and right now there's no one else I'd like to go with but you”
“Also because there's literally no one else around” I joke as I look around and get nothing but an exasperated look by Eddie.
“Do we have to spend the night here in this parking lot or can we go?”
“No no, let's go, also because I'm freezing here and there's a warm and welcoming bakery waiting for us, right?” I answer as I walk up to the car with the keys already in my hand.
“That's my princess, let's go”
The car ride is funny and I struggle to get some info about their practice from Eddie. He said he wrote a new song, but either he's not really satisfied or cares so much that he's jealous about it, because it looks like I have to hit him on the back of the head or something to get every single word out. And that's weird because music is one of the things he usually talks a lot about. When he met my dad, after the poor figure at the beginning, he didn't speak a word, but then my father mentioned guitars and I thought I had to sedate him to make him stop talking.
“Fine, I'll hear it when the record comes out then”
“I don't know, it won't necessarily end up in the album, it's pretty different from the rest... actually, it's got nothing to do with the rest at all”
“But you're gonna record it somewhere, aren't you?”
“We're gonna play it to Kelly tomorrow and see what he thinks.” he says and a few seconds later the tape that was playing in the car stereo stops “Oh thank god! Err sorry...”
“Hahaha don't worry, I don't really like the latest Cure album either. I bought it the day before yesterday and I'm already tired of it. And I'm not a fuckin' purist who brushes off an album on principle because it's all remixed versions. I'm open minded, but...”
“But it sucks, let's admit it”
“Let's admit it” I pull out the tape and stretch my hand towards the glove compartment right in front of Eddie.
“Wait” he opens it for me and I can throw the infamous tape inside.
“Can I pick up something?” he asks then starts rummaging through my cassettes without waiting for an answer.
“Ok, suit yourself” I say and I think about how he's gonna make fun of me if he comes across my most embarrassing mix tapes.
“And this? Is it new? It wasn't there the last time” I turn to face him and I see he fished out the one he wasn't supposed to see, but it's got nothing to do with my reputation.
“Last time? In what other occasion did you poke around my stuff?” I ask mocking a pout, thinking the poor guy must have looked for something to listen to when he drove me back home from the beach party, since I wasn't exactly good company as I passed out.
“I'm a musician, I'm instinctively attracted to everything connected to music, it's beyond my will” he pulls out the cassette from its case and he's about to put it in the stereo, but I stop him.
“But you can't be attracted to this one now” I literally snatch it from his hands and quickly put it in my pocket.
“Why? Is it so terrible? Can it be worse than... 70s disco mix?” Eddie reads the title on one of the other tapes of mine and doesn't know a heated debate could start.
“So what? I love 70s disco, is that a problem?”
“No, if you listen to it very far from me”
“Haha come on, why? It's catchy, almost always very well played and makes you dance and dream, don't be alternative at all costs”
“I'm not alternative at all costs, I just don't like it, it's not my thing. If you really have to dance and dream, then 50s rock'n'roll is much better”
“Hahaha if you really have to! Anyway, now I know why you always come to Roxy's: it's for the music”
“Yes, exactly, that's the reason, you totally caught me” he giggles.
“Anyway, it's not a bad mix, at least I don't think so, since, you know, I made it”
“Ah so humble!”
“It's just that you weren't supposed to see it now, you shouldn't know it exists, it was supposed to be a surprise”
“Surprise?”
“Yeah, for you”
“For me?”
“I recorded it for you, as a present you know... so you can listen to it when you'll go to California, while you're on the road, but also later, I mean, in other occasions, like, you don't necessarily have to be on a vehicle while you're listening to it” I thought it was a nice idea, but now the more I talk about it the more it seems stupid.
“You made me a tape”
“Yep” extremely stupid.
“That's... that's really sweet, thank you”
“You're welcome” for a minute I thought he was gonna say that's... the stupidest shit ever, I swear to god.
“Can we listen to it now?”
“No”
“Aw come on”
“No way”
“Why? It's mine after all, isn't it? What if I want to hear it now?”
“It's not yours yet, it'll be the day before you're leaving”
“Are you kidding me?! You can't keep me hanging for so long!”
“Well, it won't be long” and as I say it I realize it actually won't be long for real, Eddie's gonna leave in a few days and won't be around for a month and I feel I'm an idiot because you have to be silly to already miss someone who's still right next to you .
“Umph at least tell me what you put in there”
“Forget it”
“Is there disco?”
“Hahaha no, I can tell you there's no disco”
“Thank god. Even though... well, it would make sense some how, because at least it'd make me think of you as I listen to it”
“Oh well, the other songs I chose will definitely make you think of me too, trust me”
“You make it sound like a threat”
“'Cause it is”
Strangely enough we find a parking place almost immediately and get into Pike Place Market. We mostly walk in silence, except when Eddie tries to distract me pointing at some random shop and to steal the tape from my coat's pocket. Needless to say his plan doesn't work. I figure out we're close to our destination from the lovely smell of bread, pastries and cake in the air, and I can smell it, despite my clogged nose, way before we get in front of the rather insignificant sign outside the bakery. Also the shop window has got nothing different from the one of an average diner. But it's when you get in that the place brings out all its potential, which is particularly explosive for me and my recent forced diet. The atmosphere is warm and homey, along the two sides of the room your attention is immediately caught by various display cases colored by the icing of pastries or by the veggies in the quiches they alternatively contain. I quickly figure out the organisation of the food: savory food is on the left, sweets on the right and bread in the back of the big room; the sweets area is divided in croissants, pastries and every day cakes on one side, patisserie, macarones and biscuits for more special occasions on the other side; in the same way, the savory-zone includes a whole displayer with cheeses and deli food, whereas another one is filled with savory cakes, pizzas, 20 inch long delicious baguette sandwiches, inviting puff pastry squares and so on.
“This is heaven” I sigh as I feast my eyes on all that and I'm this far from pressing my nose agains the glass protecting the food.
“Yeah, isn't it? It looked nice from the outside, I've been wanting to try it for a while”
“No, you don't understand, this isn't nice. This is actually heaven, for real, I mean I'm an atheist, but if I wasn't and if afterlife existed as a place and part of this place was reserved to good people as a reward for their behaviour on earth, then it'd look a lot like this. This or the Safety dance video”
“What?”
“By Men without hats, never heard of them?”
“You can dance if you want to... yeah, I know the song, but-”
“And I'm supposed to be the one who listens to shitty music?” I sarcastically remark.
“Haha shut up, just get to the point, what's that song got to do with this place?”
“Nothing, but maybe something. I don't know if you have ever seen the video for that song: it's all in a pseudo-medieval setting, there's the singer dancing and jumping around as he sings and walks through a country road, then a couple of people start to follow him and as he goes on he's got more and more followers, until he gets to the village where there's a huge party with maypole, people in costumes and masks, puppet theatre, flag wavers. And everybody's dancing senselessly, and I mean really random dancing, and they're happy and it all looks so natural and free. And that's it, that's what I want my heaven to look like”
“Well, if it's so important to you... we can dance if you want to, we can leave your friends behind” he makes fun of me quoting the song “but I don't know if they'll feed us or throw us out after that”
“Actually it's our friends who left us behind today”
“Well that's so much worse for them since they're missing this paradise”
“Well said, Vedder!”
In the end I can't help giving in to the tempting food, also because I don't have other choices really. Having a simple salad would be like trying to look cool at all costs and it's probably also forbidden by the rules of the place itself. But at the same time I can't just stuff my face with food, first of all because Rollins would most likely beat my ass and then because I don't really want to make a fool of myself in front of Eddie, I think I did enough already. Truth is I like to eat in company, also because you usually choose that company, so it's usually a nice one, or decent at least, and I'm generally in a good mood when it happens and when I'm in a good mood I'm less hungry, as if tranquillity naturally closed my stomach, which instead opens wide as soon as there's something to worry about. Yet I'm always a little nervous anyway when I eat with someone, especially if it's a guy, because I'm always thinking about how will they judge me for what I eat. Because in the end everyone judges the others, although they don't admit it because they're too kind or too hypocritical to do that. I mean, if I eat a lot the guy will surely think ok that's why you're fat, if I eat little he'll go now you're trying to convince me that you're not fat because you eat! And of course nothing must leak of this whole internal monologue or you'll automatically become the problematic girl who's always worried about food and weight and guys can't stand problematic friends or girls in general. At the end of the internal debate, I go for a focaccia with tomatoes, cheese and vegetables, whereas Eddie takes the giant baguette sandwich and he basically forces me to take one bite of that at some point. Everything's delicious and as I look at the paintings on the walls I think I must absolutely come back here to buy bread.
“So? What do you think, did I choose the right place?” Eddie asks once he's finished his sandwich, after wiping his mouth with a paper napkin.
“Yeah, you really did, I must admit it”
“Now it's time for a dessert” Eddie lifts his plate slightly and takes the place mat from under it, which has the pictures of three cakes and other sweets on.
“Mmm not for me thanks, I'm full”
“What? With an invisible focaccia?”
“It wasn't invisible, it was big!”
“Anyway, whatever you eat, there's always room for dessert, right?” Eddie reach out to me and gently nudges me over the table.
“Hehe well it's usually like that, but I don't really feel like right now”
“Come on, pick up something” Eddie pretends not to hear me and hands me the place mat as if it was a menu.
“Pick up something for you, I don't want anything, really”
“Oh well, if you're not taking anything I won't either” Eddie pouts and takes the place mat back.
“What does it mean? We don't have to do the same things, have a dessert if  you want it”
“What if I take a slice of cake and we split?”
“What if you take a slice of cake and just eat it?”
“Umph but why?”
“Because I don't want it”
“Bullshit, you want it so much but you just say you don't” Eddie shakes his head and looks at me eloquently: I can read into his eyes what I said before, the typical Are you really trying to fool me into thinking you're fat without eating? I know you stuff your face with sugar to death every single day.
“Oh well, wow, thank you for being able to understand my needs better than myself, I didn't realize I wanted a dessert, thank god you came and opened my eyes!” I spit it all out in one go without even thinking and what was supposed to be a funny witty remark actually comes out as a highly sour comment.
“Ok... what was that?” Eddie turns his amused expression into a perplexed one.
“Nothing” I focus on my fingernails trying not to look shaken but I fail miserably.
“Nothing? You're clearly upset”
“I'm not upset”
“Yes you are, what's wrong?” I can't avoid his look because one of the hands I'm inspecting is delicately taken in Eddie's ones and this gesture makes me look up.
“If I say no it's no, I can't see why you have to insist. I like sweet food but it's not like I eat it everyday. I know that... I mean, I know I don't look like, considering my size, but-” I swear I didn't mean to make a scene, I didn't want to take it so hard, but things just escalated by themselves and now I don't know how to get out of this.
“Wait, wait, wait a minute. Listen... I have no idea what you're talking about and I don't know what you understood, I just wanted to offer you a dessert and I insisted a little because I thought you were politely refusing because you didn't want me to spend too much money or something like that”
“I doubt money was the only implication here...”
“Well it was, because I don't imply or assume anything, ever, I can't imply, Angie, I just don't know how to do it. I just say or not say something, if I wanna say something then I say it or I just shut up. I know you like pastries and stuff because you bake them and you're good at that and I know that based on experience”
“See? There was a second implication: my ability in the kitchen” I try to joke but he still looks very serious.
“Anyway I wanna make it clear that I haven't even thought of that bullshit you implied” Eddie slightly squeezes my hand.
“Well, part bullshit, part-”
“And that you're beautiful, you're one of the most beautiful girls I've ever met” Eddie lets go of my hand, shrugs and starts playing with the napkin dispenser and I'm weirded out for a while. Then I recover and try not to laugh at his face or come up with another typical remark of mine. As I said before, guys can't stand problematic girls, you can't talk to them about these things because they'll either get bored or feel like they have to tell you something nice to cheer you up, extremely nice in Eddie's case, as if your self esteem was in their hands. The best thing is to drop the subject.
“What if we take an éclair instead of cake? There's one with coffee too”
In the end we take two éclair each, caramel-coffee and pistachio. I mean, if you really have to fall off the wagon you might as well do it with style.
“I still can't understand why you paid” I grumble as we walk through the many neon signs of the market.
“Maybe because I asked you out for dinner?”
“But I could pay for my meal”
“But I wanted to pay for you, can't I just want to do it? And I invited you”
“So what?”
“I invited you, I pay, that's my rule”
“Oh really? And where does this rule come from?” I scoff as I think that this has always been my rule too.
“Good sense? Everybody does it, Angie, stop it and tell me where you want to go now” puts his arm around my shoulder and for a moment I thought he was about to cover my mouth with his hand to make me shut up, tired of my shit. And I'm sure he at least thought about it.
“I wanna take you to a place, if it's still open” I quicken my pace and with Eddie I walk deep into the bowels of the market until we get to the Rummage hall. It doesn't look anything special, it's not even marked well, its small sign is always covered by full clothes hanger stands, big posters, pendulum clocks, curtains or any other thing that couldn't fit in the thrift shop and spilled into the hall.
“Wow, it looks cool” Eddie says looking around once we're in, then starting to examine a series of army jackets displayed near the entrance.
“It's one of the weirdest places I've ever seen, I found it one day by chance, only because I got lost. And I've been coming here every time I'm at the market ever since” I answer before blowing my nose, as I look at some small portraits placed on a vintage sofa, but when I turn out I realize I was talking to myself because Eddie must have left at some point while I was speaking. It doesn't take me much time to spot it, in the music area, going through records, on the other side of the shop. Who would have thought!
I sneak into the comic section and I find something interesting, but I'm not buying anything today, maybe next time, when I'm alone. There's nothing wrong in buying comics, and by now Eddie knows his friend is a nerd, but I prefer not to buy anything anyway. I move to the books alley, stealing a glance at Eddie in the distance from time to time, to check on him and see what he's doing, if he's still there, head down into vynils, and the answer is always yes. And he's so focused on his search that I don't really wanna go there and interrupt him, it's like a sacred moment for him. I'd rather have my own sacred moment among books and leave him be. After more than thirty minutes I leave the written words and I'm drawn to a series of shelves full of more or less vintage hats, bags, belts and scarves. I take a red beret, as the bright color caught my attention and not because I actually like it, when suddenly someone I know appears behind my back and steals it from me singing a song under his breath, then putting the hat on my head.
“She wore a raaaspberry beret, the kind you find in a second hand store”
“Well, yeah, the song is on point” I take off the hat and try to put it back away.
“Take it, it's nice” Eddie grabs it back and tries to put it on my head again.
“I have no intention to buy this” I shield myself with my hands and run towards another section to avoid him.
“Why? It suits you”
“Yeah sure”
“How can you say it doesn't if you didn't even see yourself?” he insists chasing me around with this fucking hat, while the clerk enjoys the scene amused.
“I just know it, ok? Hats in general don't suit me” I explain as I stop in front of the display cabinets with jewelry.
“Why do you always have to put yourself down like this?” his judgemental eyes look at me through a little mirror on the side of the cabinet.
“No, wait, I swear this isn't about self esteem, it's just the shape of my head, it's not suited for hats”
“Are you serious?” Eddie puts the hat back on my head “Here. See how good you look”
“Yeah, I look like Papa Smurf without the beard”
“Pfffff” Eddie almost spits on the mirror.
“Or Ronald McDonald, considering the red nose”
“You've got a cold, for a change”
“Little Red Riding Hood once she's been digested by the wolf”
“The wolf doesn't digest her, she's rescued”
“It's an alternative version of the fairy tale I purposedly came up with, inspired by this wonderful hat”
“Ok ok, fine, I get it, you're such a pain in the ass!” Eddie gives up, takes off my hat and puts it back away on the shelf, then comes back right away “You're a liar though, because I saw you wearing hats”
“Because I have to since it's fucking cold here in the North West, but I know I don't look good in them”
“Hey that one... doesn't that really look like your necklace? The one with the swan?” Eddie drops the subject  and points at something through the glass.
“More or less, it's kind of smaller and the shape is a little different” I instinctively put a hand on my chest, right on the spot where, under the sweater and the coat, I feel the pendant he's talking about.
“The one your mother gave to you, right?”
“Yes. Another difference is that mine is simpler, it doesn't have any diamonds or anything, but it kinda looks like mine all in all...” I turn to Eddie, who's a little closer to me than I thought and is giving me a strange look, as if he was seeing me, but his mind was somewhere else “What did you find for yourself?” I ask to change the subject, looking down to the Ramones' record he's been holding the whole time.
“Oh, yes, Blitzkrieeg '76, it's a bootleg, but it's a radio recording so the sound quality is good, and it basically costs nothing so it's a bargain”
“Taking you here was a good idea then”
“A great idea!”
We just look around some more, then I see Eddie heading towards the cash register and I tag along, but before getting there he turns left and starts looking through a long line of t-shirts and jackets.
“That would look great with the hat” I point out referring to the fire red leather jacket he's looking at right now.
“Don't push me or I'll buy them both for you” he answers then pulls out a brown corduroy jacket from the line.
“That looks better I think, it's a little too light for now though. Wait, give them to me” Eddie puts the record between his legs and tries to take off his blue jacket with a single hand, but I suggest him to give them both to me so he can try on the jacket more easily.
“Thank you... Ok, well I guess it fits, don't know how it looks, what do you think?” he questions as soon as he puts it on and of course it looks good on him, it's like it was made especially for Eddie, a perfect fit, he's perfect,  he's so beautiful, with that body he could wear a bathmat with a hole in the middle for his head and look amazing. And that'd also be more sober than what he generally wears.
“Uhm yeah, not bad, approved”
“And for $12 I think I approve it too” Eddie takes off the new jacket, puts on the old one, and goes straight to the cash register.
“What do you wanna do now?”
“I wanna take you to a place and I'm almost sure it's still open” he smiles.
“What place?”
“You didn't tell me where you were taking me, why should I?”
“Because you didn't ask, whereas I'm asking”
“Haha good point, but I'm not gonna”
I notice Eddie's taking me to the exit, so I guess the place is not here at the Market and that we're going back to the car. Yet when we're almost at Fish Co., where fishmongers have just stopped coreographically throwing fish at each other and are now closing since it's late, instead of going towards Pike's main entrance, Eddie turns right towards Don & Joe butcher's counter and the spice shop; we walk right between the two shops, climb two set of stairs and find ourselves in a narrow unidentified walkway that looks like a place reserved to staff people but turns into a larger hallway as we follow it, illuminated by the neon light of a restaurant on the other side. Is he still fucking hungry after all he had to eat?! Eddie's apparently heading right towards the restaurant, but just before the entrance he turns left again and we see what looks like another exit door. At this point I'm starting to think he's just making fun of me and we're running around in circles to confuse me, but as soon as we get out I figure out that's not the case: we're outside but we're not, we're not in the streets, we're higher, we're on the fucking Pike Place Market's rooftop! A wooden pergola covered in climbing pea vines and porcelain berry branches leads us outside, as we get into this sort of urban garden perched above the waterfront, flourishing with a number of large vases of plants and flowers beds and between each one of them there are small lampposts, water features, mosaics, chairs and creative connecting benches. On the opposite site there's what looks like a kitchen garden, a big one though, from here I can spot rosemary, parsley and onions.
“What's this place?” I ask, still surprised, because a garden is the last thing you think you can find in such a deeply chaotic and urbanized place.
“I found it one day by chance, only because I got lost...” he says in a mocking way and smiles until I give him an evil look “hehe and I swear I'm not joking, it's true!”
“But are we allowed to stay here? Isn't this like the restaurant patio or something?” I'm getting worried as I notice tables and chairs stacked down in a corner.
“Also, but only down there, that's the restaurant area, and only in spring ad summer. You can freely come here without spending any money, you can bring your lunch from home and eat here, you can do whatever you want, Jeff explained it to me when I told him where I had ended up”
“Why doesn't your friend Jeff share this kind of information with me as well?” I remark as I lean on the railing to enjoy the stunning view of Elliott Bay, Puget Sound, beaches, city lights, the Seattle Waterfront, the port and passing ferries, and I bet that in the daylight, when the sky is clear, you can see Mount Rainier and the Oympic Mountains.
“So I can surprise you and make a good impression on you” he cheerfully replies as he rests his chin on my shoulder from behind.
“So I will make a bad impression with my poor surprises”
“Do you mean the tape doesn't match the beauty of this place?”
“I was thinking more about the hour we spent in the dusty thrift shop as large as a stamp. Between this garden and the tape it's a close call”
“I loved that place, I'll go back for sure. And I've got huge expectations about this tape, you know”
“I bet you have”
“I should have brought the polaroid camera, so we could take a picture together. I left it at home, fuck...”
“You do exist then!” I dramatically exclaim, looking up and pointing my index finger towards the sky.
“You're such an asshole, Angie”
As soon as we leave the market and walk towards the car I start yawning, letting me and Eddie know that maybe I'm sleepy and it's time to go home. I didn't feel tired until one minute ago, I'm feeling it all now. I'm also shivering a little, I hope it's for the cold and I'm not getting a fever again.
“You should have gone home, I could've taken the bus” Eddie says looking at me the moment I stop right outside his condo, probably because I look horrible and the dark circles under my eyes must have reached the alert level.
“Don't worry, I can make it home, Westlake is not that far”
“Yeah, but you basically have to drive all the way back”
“Uhm yeah, such a big deal”
“Anyway, thank you”
“You're welcome, I'd have never left you alone in the streets at night, with thieves and stuff, especially now that you've finally bought a normal jacket”
“Hehe well actually I, ehm, I meant thanks for the evening, for everything, you know. It was nice, I had a good time with you”
“Oh... yeah, I liked it too, it was... fun”
“Yes, it was fun”
“We both had fun”
“Yeah”
“In spite of your stupid band mates!”
“Yes, in spite of them all”
“Though I can't help thinking Jeff and Stone would have given their best at the thrift shop”
“Yes. And we can also... do it again maybe? I'd love to, I mean, go out again one evening”
“Definitely, we'll surely go out before you guys leave, right? There's your concert at the Off Ramp first of all, then I think we all have an unspoken agreement of meeting up at the pub round the corner the night before you leave. We could visit the secret garden”
“Uhm yeah, sure, but... I meant going out again alone,  just you and I”
“Ah! Ok, I didn't get it... Sure, I mean, why not?”
“If you want to. Because I had a great time and, I mean, I'm really comfortable with you, so I think it'd be nice, I don't know about you though...”
“Sure I want to, I do” is there a woman in her right mind who wouldn't like to go out and spend some time with Eddie?
“And I remind you that you owe me a basketball game”
“I also owe you a dinner”
“Hehe ok, deal! You're gonna ask me out next time and you're gonna pay, ok?”
“Deal”
“Good night, Angie”
As I tell him good night, he leans towards me and gives me a kiss on the cheek, that's a little too long for a normal peck, but too short to be misunderstood. Well, there's nothing to misunderstand anyway!
I'm stumped for a second because Eddie's a friend but his lips just touched my skin anyway and I challenge anyone to remain indifferent. When I turned towards the passenger seat Eddie's already out of the car and has closed the door. I wave him good bye and leave mashing my foot on the gas pedal.
“Mm mmm mm mm” I silently murmur a tune as I climb the stairs to my apartment and I don't even know what it is, it's in my head from the car ride. It's only when I get home, as I crawl along the walls like a ninja trying not be seen by Meg or Mike or both and not to interrupt anything they might be doing, that I figure out what it is: it's a slow version of the detuned 12-string guitar in Wouldn't it be nice by the Beach Boys. Why was I even thinking about that? Maybe they played it at the bakery or it was on the radio while we were at the thrift shop and I didn't notice. I hang my coat and bag on the coat rack and the closer I get to the living room the better I hear the voice of Toucan Sam in Kellogg's Froot Loops commercial, I guess it's the one with the surfer lion. And I think that if Mike and Meg are in front of the tv they're surely not watching it so either they've fallen asleep or they're doing something else, and in both cases I'd better stay the fuck out of the way. I carefully peep into the room but the scene I witness is none of the two I pictured in my head: Meg's sprawled on the sofa, her feet stretched out on the coffee table, which is filled with the leftovers of a Chinese dinner, and stares blank at the tv screen as she unwraps a fortune cookie.
“Hey Meg”
“Hi Angie” my friend doesn't jump as she usually does when I surprise her out of the blue, she doesn't even move and doesn't turn around to say hi. She takes the cookie, breaks it in two, takes the piece of paper inside and throws it on the table without reading it before eating the cookie.
“Do you know they're not actually Chinese?” I slowly walk up to her trying to resist the urge to grab her by her feet and throw her away from my fucking coffee table.  
“Really?”
“No, it's all an American invention. Didn't you read The Joy Luck Club? You can borrow it from me if you want to” I go on, I take a look at the boxes and once I'm sure they're all empty I start collecting them.
“Ok” Meg shrugs without taking her eyes off the tv, buries her hand in a box that's sitting on the sofa next to her and takes another cookie.
“Are you ok? Where's Mike?” I ask before heading to the kitchen to throw the boxes into the bin.
“Well, at home I think”
“I guess the dinner didn't go well”
“No, it just didn't go, it didn't happen, I mean, it happened in the sense that I had dinner by myself. Mike didn't come over”
“What?”
“I called him and asked him and he said yes, but then didn't show up”
“How come he didn't show up if he said yes. What if he had a mishap?”
“He had no mishap, I waited for him and called him repeatedly, he only answered half an hour ago, finally, and quickly told me he actually didn't say either yes or no, but didn't say yes anyway, and he thought it wasn't a good idea. And that he didn't want to discuss it now and basically hung up on me. I... I can't understand” she explains as she chews on the cookie and I take the wrapping and the piece of paper of the second cookie she threw on the floor.
“Maybe he's not ready to-”
“No, he's actually angry, he's mad at me, I know that”
“Why should he?”
“Why? Maybe because I humiliated him in front of our friends with the umpteenth outburst of mine, what do you think?” Meg gives me a side look and finally takes her feet off the coffe table. I immediately take the chance to collect the other leftovers and make them disappear in the dustbin in the kitchen, then I come back into the living room with a rag and a spray cleanser.
“Well the outburst started from Melanie, you've just been dragged in the middle of that...”
“Yeah, but I gladly let her drag me. You know, Mike has his flaws but I... I'm always overreacting, I'm always humiliating him, making him look like an idiot, I had to expect he'd have got offended sooner or later”
“Listen maybe he's mad at you maybe he's not, maybe he just needs time, after all he's just broken up with Melanie, don't forget it. I mean, it's not just the two of you”
“Right... well, I don't wanna talk about this now. I'm just sorry you stayed out all night for no reason, if I could I'd have told you to come home and you'd have helped me eating this delicious food. But I couldn't reach out to you, so I had to sacrifice and eat it all” she caresses her own belly and grabs the remote to change the channel.
“Don't worry, I had a good company” I reassure her as I carefully clean the coffee table.
“What do you mean?”
“I met Eddie on his way to the gallery and we agreed to hang out with the rest of the band after practicing. Then everybody ditched us, fuck 'em, anyway we hung out a little”
“Uh ok, I feel less guilty then”
“I do feel guilty though, I could have called you to see if everything was alright”
“Nah, don't think about that, it's ok”
“Ok, I'm going to bed now, I feel a headache coming” I'll clean the coffee table a little more tomorrow.
“Here, have a cookie. Good night” Meg hands me a Chinese fortune cookie that's not Chinese as she keeps on clicking through the channels.
“Night”
I eat the cookie, I mean, the day's already been calorically compromised, a little flour sugar and oil won't do worse than I already did. I wash my face and brush my teeth, put my pajamas on blindly 'cause I don't even turn on the light in my room, jump into bed and start dozing off thinking about the absurdity of the 'aphorism' written on the inside paper: People are naturally attracted to you. Well, if you think Meg bought them it all makes more sense. Maybe I'm already starting to dream something confused when a blond banshee high on energy and Chinese food storms into my bedroom, turns on the light and jumps on my bed.
“DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GET AWAY WITH IT, HUH?!”
“Mmm?” I grumble as I pull the comforter over my eyes.
“I'm so disappointed by you, taking advantage of my temporary insanity like that”
“What?”
“You go out with Eddie and you just tell me like that? As if it's nothing?!”
“How should I tell you?” I give up and sit on the bed.
“Well something like: OH MY GOD MEG, YOU'VE GOT NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TONIGHT! I WENT OUT WITH EDDIE! NOW I'M GONNA TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE DETAIL!”
“What the fuck are you talking about? Which details?”
“Whichi details?! The details of your date with that babe called Eddie Vedder!”
“Date? I never mentioned a date, it wasn't a date!”
“Oh really? What was it then? How do you call a man and a woman going out together?”
“Friends going out?”
“Two friends alone? Please, I don't buy it... And you're wearing your pajamas backwards”
“We weren't supposed to be alone, it was... it was an accident”
“What a delightful accident”
“Anyway we go out together alone all the time and we never talked about dates between us” I finally understand what Meg said before, look down at my pajama top and notice Mickey Mouse is nowhere to be seen, it's probably on my back.
“But Eddie's got something I don't have, and vice versa”
“But-”
“Something you maybe saw tonight? Didn't you?”
“MEG!”
“No?”
“Of course not!”
“Umph... did you kiss a little at least?”
“No, Meg, we didn't, also because it wasn't a fucking date, as I already told you”
“Ok, ok, I get it, of course... why would you make me happy for once? And what did you do in this non-date?”
“We just hung out at Pike Place Market, we had dinner in a very good French bakery, I'll go there very often from now on. Ehm, not too often though or Henry's gonna make me run the marathon with him running behind me kicking my ass the whole way as a punishment”
“Uhm ok, then what? And won't you adjust your pajama?”
“No. Then we went to a few shops. Oh and Eddie make me discover a new place I didn't know existed: an amazing garden on the market rooftop, with a breathtaking view on the bay. It's close to the main entrance, did you know it? I'm often at the market and had no idea such a wonderful place existed, it must be really nice during the day too, an oasis of peace right in the middle of the city's chaos”
“Ok, so, help me understand for a moment: a really cute and interesting guy asks you out, by pure chance it's just the two of you, he takes you out for a French dinner-”
“Haha you make it sound like he took me to a fancy restaurant, it was a fucking bakery”
“... he takes you to a typical French bakery, a simple and welcoming place, with a romantically exotic charm, where he buys you dinner... 'cause he paid for dinner, right?”
“Well, yeah, but-”
“Ok, so he friendly pays for dinner in a romantic place, then takes to to a secred garden with a breathtaking view to watch the stars together, always as a friend obviously”
“Sure, why not?”
“Yes, why not but... you could have given him a friendly kiss on the lips to thank him”
“Oh my god, Meg”
“I'm not even talking about tongues or anything, just a little peck”
“Meg please, we're talking about Eddie. You know we're just friends”
“Yes... and you're pretty close, I guess, it looks like, you know, you're often together”
“So what?”
“So... nothing, you get along, right? And...”
“And?”
“And... I can't say it or you'll tell me that I need to mind my own goddam business”
“Don't say it then”
“And… I think you'd make a cute couple. There, I said it”
“You said the same shit about someone else, don't you remember? I do and I also remember it didn't end well”
“What's that got to do with it? Would you compare Jerry to Vedder? Eddie's a completely different person, he's more-”
“Listen, I don't care what more Eddie is, I don't care what you think and I especially don't care about it now. It's late, I'm tired and want to sleep, can I?” I blurt out exasperated, as I wipe my eye that's wet from cold and sleep with the back of my hand.
“Umph ok, ok, I'll go. I'll let you sleep. Sorry if I wanted to talk about something nice to cheer up and distract myself from my disaster love life”
“If it makes you feel better, mine's still a disaster too, don't worry. Good night”
“Night, Angie”
*****************************************************************************************************************************
“I must admit you surprised me tonight” I confess as we walk up the stairs outside my house.
“Good surprise or bad surprise?” Stone asks and I immediately answer, as if he really had doubts about how the date went and I felt the need to reassure him quickly.
“Good surprise, of course. First of all the movie choice”
“What were you expecting? That I'd take you to watch Terminator or something like that?”
“No but... I don't know, I don't what I was expecting really, maybe some indie film or a musical”
“Ok next time I'm gonna take you to my place and we'll watch The sound of music, you know, not to disappoint your expectations” he goes on as we get in together and despite his joke I can't help smiling, since there's gonna be a next time apparently.
“I'm ok with that. Anyway, I liked Boyz n the Hood, it's crude though”
“It's as crude as reality”
“Right. And the second thing that surprised me is that I had no idea you liked rap”
“Sure I like it and Ice Cube is one of the best to me, both with NWA and solo”
“I'd have never guessed it, as far as I knew you”
“Just because I play the guitar it doesn't mean my mind is only focused on rock. And you know I like 70s music, Ice Cube's songs are full of samples by Funkadelic, Parliament, Sly and the Family Stone, I love that”
“Especially the last one, for name reasons” I joke and at that point Stone stops in his tracks, looks and me and pretends to leave.
“Sorry but, this was too much, I can't”
“Where are you going? You gotta be a gentleman and escort me up to my door” I grab him by the arm and pull him close to me.
“Well, if I really have to”
“Anyway the walk at Gas Works Park was nice too”
“It was basically on the way to the movies, we just went a bit out of the way. I'd have gone more out of the way if you didn't get bored after fifteen minutes”
“I wasn't bored! I just didn't want to risk it and get too late to the movie theater and find out all the films had already started, that's all”
“Yeah, well, for once in my life I had a romantic momentum and you just ruined it, but it's ok”
“Romantic momentum?”
“Yes, I know, don't ask, I don't know where it came from, I was surprised myself”
“Wanna come in for a second?” I ask as I look for the keys in my bag.
“Fifteen minutes at the park, a second at your place... is your timing always so short?”
“Ok, I'm getting in, do what you want” I shake my head, open the door and enter my apartment, turning the lights on.
“Where has the smiley gone?” I throw the bag and the jacket on the couch and immediately turn around at his questions. He's still on the doorway, that fucking smile always on his face.
“What?”
“The post-it note on the chair, I'm afraid it fell on the floor” Stone closes the door behind him and crouches down to look for the fucking note.
“Ehm no, the note's not there anymore... and neither is the chair. What about some coffee?” I nonchalantly say as I take the coffee from the cabinet behind his back and put it in the machine with  the water.
“What do you mean? What's that then? There's the chair” he asks incredulous, maybe pointing at the infamous corner, I'm not looking at him, I can only guess.
“Oh that? That's another chair, it's err a new one, I changed it”
“Oh really?”
“Yep”
“And why did you suddenly make up your mind?” Stone walks closer, leaning against the fridge and basically forcing me to look at him.
“Mmm I don't know, I just did it”
“You just did it...”
“Yeah, it was stupid after all, you were right, why would you keep a useless chair?”
“So you bought a new chair because I told you to?”
“No, I mean, you surely made me think about it but-”
“You threw that broken chair for me? That's fucking romantic” he winks at me and imperceptibly lowers his voice, something I clearly perceive of course.
“Don't flatter yourself, Gossard”
“Uhm yeah, just call me by my surname to emphasize the distance between us every time we're actually getting closer”
“Do you mean, like you do with sarcasm?”
“Touché, darling, touché. So you're now living your life happily with your new chair, right?” Stone gets even closer and slowly reach out with his hand to my nape, something that gives me a series of goosebumps that I'm sure don't go unnoticed.
“Su-sure, why?” I answer as I notice he's handling the tag of my shirt, that was probably sticking out, and now has been put back in.
“Sure sure?”
“Sure, I mean it's... it's just a chair, right?”
“Exactly. So?” Stone stretches his other hand toward me too and now he has them both on my shoulders and looks at me apparently amused, as he tilts his head a little on the side waiting for an answer.
“So... so I hate it!” I can't lie to those fucking olive green eyes.
“What do you hate?”
“The new chair. I can't stand it! Because I know it looks like the others and the old one, but... but it's different!”
“It's the exact same chair, Grace”
“It took me ages to obtain the same color to paint it, that's the best I could come up with” I explain as I bite on my thumb nail.
“Maybe it's just slightly shinier because it's new and freshly painted, but seriously you can't tell it from the others, that's the same color”
“It's not just for the color, even if it was the exact same fucking color I... I mean, I'd know it's not the same chair, I know it's another chair, a stranger”
“An alien!”
“Don't make fun of me”
“Hehe I'm not making fun of you!”
“Yeah laughing at someone's face is the typical behaviour of someone who's not making fun of somebody else”
“Why don't you just put it in another place? Switch the chairs so you can get used to it more easily” it makes it sound so easy.
“Switching them wouldn't solve the problem because I'd still know where I put it”
“I'll do it for you! Just stay here, like this” Stone squeezes my shoulders, then lets go of me and walks up to the table, as I follow him with my eye.
“What are you doing?”
“Turn around, don't look! Or it won't work”
“Do you want to move the chair?”
“I'm gonna mix them all up so you'll never know what's the new one and you'll stop getting anxious about that. Come on, turn around”
“Ok...” I do as he commands, not really convinced, and the coffee is almost ready. I hear him fumbling behind my back and I try to distract myself looking for sugar and milk “How do you take your coffee?”
“Two spoons of sugar, please” he replies and as soon as I hear the sound of the leg of a chair scratching against the floor I just turn around to look at him.
“I can't”
“Turn the fuck around, you curious cat!”
“I'm not kidding, stop it”
“Huh?” Stone gives me a puzzled look, as he rests his hands on the back of a chair.
“I can't, I just can't let you do that”
“What?”
“Switching the chairs! I'd go crazy trying to find out what's the new one... don't ask me why, I'd lose my sleep. Just put them back at their place, please”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes, I am, I'm extremely serious! I know I'm crazy, but put the chair back in its place... please”
“I'd be happy to do it... if only I remembered where I put it...” Stone scratches his head embarrassed and I feel the unstoppable impulse to cut it off with something very sharp.
“WHAT?!”
“Hahaha no, calm down, I'm just kiddin'! I'm kidding!” Stone runs to me trying to reassure me and I beat him on the head with the coffee spoon.
“You're not funny”
“You are though, you're hilarious”
“Well, ok, go on and make fun of me as much as you want. But put that fucking chair back where it belongs” I aim the coffee spoon at his chest as if it was a lethal weapon.
“Where have your good manners gone?”
“Put it back in place or I'll rip your eyes from your head with this spoon”
“Actually... it's already in place, I didn't touch it, I didn't move anything. My plan was to leave it all as it is and just make some noise to make you believe I mixed them up”
“You know you're evil, right?”
“Sure, I'm fully aware of that. And you know you're nuts, right?” he gets closer even though the coffee spoon is still pointed at him and it's basically jabbing him in the ribs.
“Actually I prefer to call myself eccentric, it sounds better” I let go of the spoon, which falls on the floor, as his hands end up on my hips.
“We're two really unique individuals, don't you think?”
“Mmm I don't know, you're pretty average and predictable in your being mean” I joke as I lace my hands behind his neck.
“Really? Am I so predictable?”
“Yes, you are”
“So can you say what I'm about to do now?”
“Of course”
“And what is it?”
“Hoax me into believing you're about to kiss me, then go for the coffee, that's ready in the meantime”
“Fuck”
“See? I know you”
“You really do, wow... Now we've got a problem though”
“And what is it?”
“I can't play the coffee trick on you anymore because you caught me, slight wrinkle in my plan”
“So what?”
“So I'll have to improvise now”
“And ho-” I don't even get to say how when Stone firmly presses his lips against mine catching me off guard. When I realize what's happening I try to reciprocate the kiss instead of just standing there still doing nothing like a statue. At this point Stone pulls away a little, looks at me, gently takes my face into his hands and flashes me a smile, before pulling me into another more feverish kiss.
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single premium life insurance quotes
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single premium life insurance quotes
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Im 16 and im gettin a 2003 cadillac CTS when i get my licences and i have a few questions. The car is $10,932 how much would the down payment be also how much monthly plus insurance?""
Can I get around paying really high price for Car Insurance being only 19yrs old>?
I am 19, dont want to pay high price for car insurance. My friend said I can do this: find a cheap insurance company for my dad/mum to get insured on the the nice car (e.g. BMW) just them, not have me on it aswell, then find the cheapest car to insure with co-op, with me under my mum or dad, altogether it shouldnt be more than 2k and you I can drive the beemer, as long as the beemer is registered in my dad/mums name. Can somebody tell me if this would actually work or not? Please no philosophical answers or opinions on right or wrong or against the law - I dont give a F**k. Just want to know whether this would work or if anybody else has any ideas 10 September at 23:00""
How much will a dwi increase your full coverage insurance?
that is, of course, if the insurance isn't dropped all together. it's already high because i ran into a parked car last year (and no, was not drinking). so how much will it go up (% wise) for full coverage and then what percentage for just liability?""
""Receiving life insurance prodeeds, and my chapter 7 bankruptcy?
Can the trustee take my money that I will be receiveing from my moms life insurance policy?
Where can my family find affordable health insurance?
We live in Minnesota, we're a young couple, newly engaged with a 5 month old son. We were working on getting Minnesota Care. Our son's coverage was suppose to start Dec. 1 and my fiance's coverage was suppose to start later. We just received letters stating we make 275% too much!! We don't know what to do. I am going to school so I am still covered by my parent's insurance but my son needs coverage. Where can I find something affordable but that has good coverage?""
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single premium life insurance quotes
""In the state of arkansas, is there any state programs to provide free or affordable health insurance?
i am a 36 yr old male returning to college full-time. i have two dependent children who recive arkids(medicaid). i have no health insurance currently and am not working currently
What is a good (cheap) insurance in Canada?
I'm a new driver, I would like to have an insurance for myself, in case IF anything happened. What are some companies with good deals? They are mostly expensive, but I have heard there are some cheaper ones available. Thank you for you help!""
Insurance Corp. refuse to pay for a stolen car....?
My friend's new Honda was stolen near his home. ICBC, a crown corporation, refused to pay because they said the car was thief proof. And they suspect may friend stole his own car then filed the insurance claim. Does anyone had such an experience with the insurance company? What should be done about it?""
How to get insurance for a soccer league?
im doing my own adult soccer league in hemet california and i have a lot of things ready the only thing that i need its to get insurance for the league but i do not know how to get it. the people who will rent the field to me wants me to have an insirance for the league and if i do not get it i will not be able to start my league.. help please
Is this typical for insurance for a 17 year old?!?
I just bought my first car Saturday. My dad went to the DMV to get it registered and insured. Then, he called our insurance company to get a quote for how much driver's insurance is for a 16 year old female. If you take driver's ed, watch a state farm video, and have a G.P.A above 3.0, comes to.... $88 A MONTH!!!! That's with driver's ed, and a G.P.A above 3.0! Now my parents are really upset, 'cuz that's thousands of extra dollars a year--not on gas, not on the vehicle itself...Just insurance! They're not sure I can get my license now b/c of it. This really frustrates me. I will be 17 in a couple months, and I really, really, really want to get my driver's license. I have a car, I'll buy the gas, but the insurance is astounding! So my question is, is $88 A MONTH typical for other companies/ or in other states (We're in AZ).""
How much will my insurance cost?
I know this is going to be different by state, and maybe even by zip code, but all I want is a average, or rough estimate what my insurance will cost. I'm 18 years old,(male)and have had my license for two years, and I have a clean history, and have never had an accident or ticket. My car is a 2000 Ford Focus ZX3, with a 2.0 Zetec engine, and 5 speed manual transmission. I also live in the state of Virginia. So how much would my insurance cost me monthly? I'll be on my fathers insurance aloso by the way. As I said, I know this will not be accurate, but I just want a guess to start with to have an idea on what I'll be paying monthly.""
Is it legal to have two different insurance companies for one car?
i am currently leaving my insurance company because they give me too much headaches (ING by the way)... i have to wait a week to offically cancel my policy (its a longg story). i found another insurance company that i would like to join right away because i told my insurance company i am putting ym car away for a few years but i just didnt want to tell them i found someone else for way cheaper and i need insurance now! but im not sure if it is possible to have comprehensive with one company and coverage with another. please let me know. Thanks!! toronto, Ontario""
What is the penalty for driving without insurance in california?
what is the penalty for driving without insurance in california?
How much does Car Insurance for a teenager cost?
How much is car insurance for a 15 ( starting drivers ed) year old girl if you are only a part time driver, like if you dont own a car you just use your parent' car in Illinois? Like how much is added on to your parents insurance bill? and how much does it cost if you have your own car?""
I got an unbelievably low quote from Response Wordwide Auto Insurance.Should I switch from StateFarm?
Their quote is about 1/2 that of all others
What is my insurance going to pay if ?
If I have my house insured for 100,000 and it is worth 85,000,what will my insurance company pay for my total loss if such a thing happened?Am I paying too much trying to be too careful by overinsuring my house?Thanks for any info.""
Can I drop motorcycle insurance for the winter then pick it up in the spring?
I'm 17 and am looking for a motorcycle. My mom called our insurance company (Nationwide) and had a quote prepared and they said it would be an extra $70 a month. Seeing as how it gets cold here in Ohio i don't really want to ride a bike in the wintertime. Would it be possible to drop the motorcycle part of the insurance during the wintertime and then pick it up in the springtime when I start riding again? I'll also be turning 18 in February so I think the rates would go down.
Health Insurance coverage?
My husband's Cobra coverage lapsed. He has been turned down by two insurance companies for health insurance because of low testosterone levels. Any advice on where or how to apply for health insurance? He is self-employed; we live in TX.
I've been pulled over last night no insurance and no L plates HELP ME PLEASE?
Hello, I'm a genuine person, who has had a bad past with motoring, 3 - 4 years ago i was a maniac, a complete ideot who defied everything that was said and told to him( been caught for no insurance and disqual driving and driving without a license x15 times but after relizing what a ideot i was i decided to go the straight and narrow, so i got my license back last august with 6 points on it, they aint due to clear till next year although they are dated 2009?! any way, i own a decent 09 bike, that isnt cheap and i was what i thought fully insured (otherwise i wouldnt have driven and risked loosing my bike) anyways i got pulled over last night for speeding, and it came apparant i wasnt insured :O i rang my girlfriend and got her to produce the paperwork, they couldnt get hold of my insurance company due to they were shut at 10pm at night :S so they decided to seize my bike!:@ they give me a gypsys warning about the speeding, and refered me to court for no insurance no L plates, my arguement is, after going home and checking my bank, i have been driving for 3 months uninsured ( i really had no intention of doing so) i had thought that when my giro money lands into my bank acc swintons took it out the same day so i never defaulted, but this is not the case and i have defaulted. so i have insured my bike immediately after relizing what has happened and im going to get it out the impound in a minute (15 hours later after being seized) but the genuine thing is i've always had a rear L plate till 4 days ago when it snapped and i was waiting on my giro to come to purchase a new one, however i know that is no excuse but its the truth! what can i say to the judge to not get myself banned! the L plates situation is difficult because there like1 to buy but i have 0 pence! and i run my bike of scrap yard petrol ( filtered runs sweet) and i will take full admission to only ever having one L plate on my bike and explain my situation but what can i say or do so i dont get banned!? im really stuck with this one, it really is annoying as i had no intention to drive without insurance?! thanks guys""
What does 20/40/15 mean on auto insurance?
What does 20/40/15 mean on auto insurance?
Car Insurance for a New Driver?
hi, I just got my license like 2 days ago and I have a question about car insurance. My dad won't let me drive until I get insurance, but he said I have to wait until I actually get my real dirver's license card in the mail. When I asked the dmv how long it would take for me to recieve it, they said like 4-6 weeks. So I was wondering if the insurance company will allow me to have car insurance coverage with my temporary license, or do I actually have to wait until I get my card license to be able to drive. Because if I'm not allowed to get insurance with my temp paper license, then does that mean I'm not allowed to drive? Because then I won't be covered if I get in a car accident right? So I'm not really sure on how this works. Please Help! Thanks""
Insurance and pregnancy?
My husband and I are trying to get pregnant. I am on my own private insurance right now and will not get on his insurance until April 2009. If I get pregnant before then will they cover my pregnancy bills etc?
CHEAP CAR INSURANCE FOR 17 YEAR OLDS?
hi my dad has a c3 citroen plurial convetable and wants me to be insured on it whilst im in england on holiday! i have an aussie licence but cant seem to find cheap insruance with 2000 pounds being the cheapest. does anyone know of any company who gives cheaper insurance for 17 year olds on an international licence with a convertable car??? any help would be great. thanks!!
How many cars can you put and take off of your insurance policy in one month? One year?
How many cars can you put and take off of your insurance policy in one month? One year?
Best life insurance for baby? Cost?
Trying to figure out the best life insurance plan or place to use for new baby to come. How much does it cost upfront? Do you pay it overtime?
Car Insurance Question?
Hey all. Recently, a car ran into my legally parked car early in the morning. When I found my car hit, strangely, the other car was still there with their lights on and keys in the ignition. It appeared whomever was driving fled. Fortunately, when the police was called, one of the officers found insurance information for the car that hit mine. We took the make, model, year, and licence plate numbers down on the report. The officers left, however I'm not sure if they are going to attempt to search out the registered owner or not. Guess I could call to see if they are or not. Anyway, I then had the other car towed away and mine towed to a nearby auto body shop. They gave me a preliminary estimate for repairs. I then used the car insurance that was found in the other car, called and filed a claim. The same day the insurance I called had an insurance adjuster/appraiser come look at my car. They considered the damages to notably exceed the first estimate, and considered it 'totaled'. Now, the other car's insurance is attempting to contact the registered owner. They mentioned that if there is difficulty in reaching the owner, the insurance to blame may deny making a reimbursement/compensation payment for my damages. Should I contact the police to see if they've investigated the person? I then later called my own insurance and notified them of what happened in its entirety. Now...if my claim is denied by the at fault person and their insurance, is their any consolation for me? Shall I hire a lawyer and sue in small claims or civil court (for damages/rental car/lawyer fees) since the damages estimated are borderline ~$5,000 +/- 1,000? Could this be a successful alternative if their insurance refuses to help me out? Or should I bite the bullet and go through my own insurance...risking an increased premium for something that was not my fault? Thank you for any advice.""
Insurance and Stepchildren?
I've been doing some research and have been able to find very little information on this topic. My husband and I got married recently and with our combined incomes, my son would no longer qualify for Medicaid (which had previously been his insurance). My husband asked his employer (who carries Aetna) if he could add his stepson and they told him yes, absolutely, they just needed his birth certificate, SS#, and a copy of our marriage certificate. We provided all these documents, and then they told us we needed to cancel his current insurance and provide proof of cancellation before they could cover him - which seemed strange to me, because I've had Medicaid as secondary insurance in the past, but we complied. We provided them with the letter saying that his coverage would be terminated effective June 1st. Hubby asked HR if everything was in place, and they said yes - as of June 1st, when his Medicaid expired, they would pick up coverage. Then yesterday (June 7th), HR approached my husband and told him that an Aetna representative called them and said that they can NOT cover his stepson unless I, the biological mother, am also on the insurance. This was NEVER mentioned to us previously and they knew he was not planning to add me as well - we never provided any of my documentation or information. I called Aetna and they told me that HR at the place of employment are the ones who determine this policy, and HR is telling us that it's the insurance company. So now my son is completely without coverage when they TOLD us that it would begin on the 1st. I have no interest in switching my insurance - I am covered under my parents' policy and it is very good. I am currently pregnant and I know my OB takes my current insurance and they have already preapproved all prenatal care and the birth. I might have considered switching if absolutely necessary had we known ahead of time, but we didn't, and now his insurance has lapsed as a result. So my question is - in my research, I came accross Obama's Affordable Care Act, which I know is the one that requires insurance companies to cover children until they are 26 and is the same reason that my parents' insurance company covers me. I read a couple different places that this same law also applies to stepchildren. So, under this law, is my husband's insurance required to cover my son?""
What is the cheapest car insurance for an 18 year old girl?
I am learning to drive and have my provisional. I want to get a car and have looked at many and the insurance is 3000 or more. I don't mind what first car I get but it has to have 5 doors. Can anyone suggest any cars which have cheap insurance. Thanks in advance
How much would my insurance be?
I am a 17 year old male and I'm looking a getting a ford mustang. I am trying to get a 2008 v6 4.0 L convertible is my car insurance going to be rediculously high?
Stick with USAA auto insurance? Or shop around?
I always thought they were not just the best, but also the cheapest (if you qualify to insure with them). But I'd like confirmation of this, or other opinions... should I shop around for my auto insurance? Switching to another insurer seems almost unthinkable - I've only ever been with USAA...""
single premium life insurance quotes
single premium life insurance quotes
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