#& ending up with a large body.

[literallyjusttoa]

Left this abandoned in the drafts (which is a bit ironic) but it's a spin on this post, where instead of Apollo just being locked in some room on Olympus somewhere, he's bound to the ruins of an abandoned Ancient Greek city. Maybe somewhere near Delphi, maybe Troy, idk.

#trials of apollo #toa apollo #lester papadopoulos #sunny speaks #would this count as another au? idk #apollart #I got this Idea after learning about ancient Thera (which I can't believe I didn't know about before) #It was kind of the Ancient Greek equivalent to Pompeii? Except the volcanic eruption was MUCH more catastrophic #but because the eruption was so big the people on the island had warning signs for like a decade before it happened #So we have ruins that have been perfectly preserved but there are no bodies #Bc all the people were able to evacuate before the disaster #I mean there aren't even animal corpses at these sites they got everyone out #Fun fact this is also considered to be a large reason why Minoan civilization ended up falling apart #ANYWAYS all that aside I heard “abandoned ruins that have been perfectly preserved in ash” and immediately thought “Hmmmm yes ... suffering #Though to be clear I would not put Apollo in the ruins of ancient Thera (Tho the thought of him being the local cryptid of Santorini is fun #But you know what other city was burned to the ground? Heeheehee

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

One of Us is Guilty; Epilogue (Part 1)

Cater is missing and Vil, Azul, Silver & Jade are now remaining. Will they find Cater? Will they catch Rook? Will they survive the night?

Characters; Vil Schoenheit, Azul Ashengrotto, Silver, Jade

Content; Murder mystery, revealing some clues

Content Warnings; Dead bodies, kidnapping (dead dove content)

Word Count; 1.2 K

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Epilogue (Part 1) | Epilogue (Final)

Do not put my work into AI If you enjoy my writing, check out my masterlist

Rook was gone, and so was Cater. They should have felt relieved that the killer had been found, but now, he was missing, and he had taken Cater with him.

Vil clenched his jaw, and his nails were digging so hard into his skin that he nearly drew blood, nearly. Even though he can be strange, Rook wouldn’t do something like this… it’s against his own code; he would own up to it, not hide it. “Is everyone okay?��� Obviously not, but still, checking in can help.

Out of everyone, Jade looked the least panicked, but Vil could read him well enough to know that this situation disturbed him greatly. Silver was shaking a bit, not from anger, but rather, grief. And then there was Azul, who was pacing and muttering to himself; of how this could happen, to possible motives. And Vil? He was hurt — not physically, but emotionally — since he knew Rook the most, but knew that whatever was happening, was not the real Rook.

“No,” Silver spoke up, eyes meeting Vil’s. “But there isn’t time to waste, for all we know, Cater cou- is still alive. And we shouldn’t waste time, the sooner we find him, the better the outcome is.”

Vil nodded, “I agree, and I want you all to stay behind me.” Just in case. But he didn’t say that. Vil was the eldest of their remaining group, and he saw it as his duty to protect his juniors… even against his own friend and vice-house warden.

Jade looked at Vil, and could tell that the Pomefiore house warden was willing to protect them. “And what about your safety?”

“… I trust that you all know offensive and defensive magic enough to where you won’t hit me by accident,” was his answer. Vil knew the risk, but the more that he ruminated on all that had happened tonight, the more he was sure about what they were going to do. “We’re going to the teacher’s lounge.”

Azul stopped pacing, turning his eyes to Vil, trying to get a read on him. “Is that really the best idea,” he questioned. “The last time we moved rooms–”

“I know what happened!” Vil hissed, before taking a breath and calming himself down. “My apologies,” he sighed, “but we can either try and solve this and try to get Cater back or we can stay here like sitting ducks. And trust me; Rook is quite the marksman.”

Azul backed down, “Sorry.” But he still felt uneasy, as if there were eyes watching him still, even though the guilty party was now known. “May I ask why the teacher’s lounge though?”

Vil opened the door out to the hall, “Even if Rook isn’t there, and it isn’t the room where the original murder took place, there could still be clues about why this whole ordeal happened, and how.”

Silver stood beside Vil, and matched his stride; if Vil was willing to risk his own safety to keep them safe, he was going to make sure to guard him, to put his training to use. He may not have a sword, but if it came to it, Silver would not hesitate to use his magic, or his body, to protect the others, even if he had to use said magic against a fellow classmate. 

Jade brought up the rear since he trusted his own keen senses and his magical capabilities; the ocean made him acutely aware of his surroundings after all, and he wouldn’t have made it this far without them. “The professors do sometimes make notes about student behaviour, so that could bring up some new information,” he hummed.

“Professor Trein would probably keep the best notes,” Silver offered quietly. “So… should we just read them without his permission?”

“I don’t see any other option. It’s better to ask for forgiveness in this situation rather than each of us…” end up dead “find ourselves in a difficult situation,” Vil answered, finding himself in front of the door all too soon.

Azul, despite being in the centre of everyone, still felt uneasy. Still felt eyes watching him. “Difficult how? Dead? Perhaps tortured? Made to watch as the rest of us are picked off like bait fish to a shark’s kill–” He stopped himself, forcing himself to take in a deep breath. Have I been holding my breath? “… do you think we’ll find anything of use?”

Vil opened the door, “I guess we’ll find out eventually.”

Silver, Azul, and Jade followed after him.

…

…

“I find that Mr. Hunt has been acting lacklustre in class. He told me that everything was fine, but after talking to Divus, it has come to my attention that Mr. Hunt could have been in contact with an expired potion,” Vil read Trein’s notes. “Other than this though, he seems to be doing well… but he is far too good at masking his true emotions, so I can’t help but worry.”

“Did Professor Trein mention what the potion is,” Azul spoke up. If anyone could figure out the side effects of an expired potion, it would be Azul and Vil.

Vil looked over the note, “No…” But his eyes widened as he got an idea. As much as he hated it, it could be their only lead. “But someone does. Come with me.”

He marched back down the hall, Silver on his right, with Azul and Jade keeping up behind him. They were going back to the main hall, where all three of the bodies were.

“You must be joking,” Jade huffed, looking at Vil, avoiding looking at the bodies of Headmage Crowley, the Ramshackle Prefect, and Professor Crewel. “You know reanimation–”

“It isn’t reanimation magic, I would never dream of doing something so… dark.” Vil brought out his pen, and he walked over to Divus’ body, kneeling down beside him. “Bring memories back,” he whispered, staring into the glassy, dead, eyes of Professor Crewel.

The others shuffled as the memories of the past week started to play out around them; from the professor having his morning coffee, to him sighing over papers. 

“Show us Rook,” Vil demanded. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep this up. Even though this wasn’t as taboo as reanimation, looking into the memories of the deceased was still considered a violation… but they had very few choices, so in comparison to what else had occurred that night, this transgression was far less important in the grand scheme of things.

The memories flashed until they showed Rook in class, three days ago. He was talking animatedly to his alchemy partner as he reached for an ingredient, but his hand bumped into a glass vial, making it crash onto the ground, covering him in the contents.

Vil paused the memory and examined the vial. “Azul,” he called, beckoning him forward. He gave him a look, and Azul looked at the vial. Vil wanted to make sure that he was actually seeing this. That he wasn’t wrong.

“A love potion? An expired love potion?” Azul huffed, wracking his brain for the side effects. “Lacklustre behaviour… obsession…” He muttered to himself. 

Vil stopped the spell, knowing that if he lingered, it could risk blot accumulating. “It makes sense… the hunter of love,” he sighed, pinching his nose. “But this, this is…”

“AZUL!” Silver shouted.

Vil turned around, but he was too late.

Azul was gone, and his glasses were broken on the ground, the glass shattered. He didn’t even have the chance to make a sound.

“You chose the wrong room!~” Rook’s voice hummed merrily on the PA system.

SUSPECTS:

- Silver; the kindhearted knight with a mysterious past, is it just for show?  (Plum) - Vil Schoenheit; the actor who is always pigeonholed into the role of a villain (Scarlet) - Divus Crewel; the alchemy teacher with a penchant for fashion, Crowley’s co-worker (Peacock) DECEASED - Rook Hunt; the enigmatic hunter who always has a hunch of what’s happening (Mustard) MURDERER - Azul Ashengrotto; the owner of The Mostro Lounge, a businessman with dubious morals (Green) MISSING - Reader; the ‘house-keeper’, a role that was imposed on them by the late Headmage (White) DECEASED - Jade Leech; a student enamored by fungi and seems to have a foreboding presence about him (Orchid) - Cater Diamond; the preppy beau of Heartslabyul, but his smile seems forced (Peach) MISSING

ROOMS:

- Main hall (eliminated in Chapter 2) - Teachers’ lounge (eliminated in Epilogue (Part 1)) - Cafeteria - Kitchens - Lecture theatre - Botanical garden - Alchemy lab (eliminated in Chapter 3) - Library - Crowley’s office (eliminated in Chapter 1)

WEAPON: MAGIC (found in Chapter 2)

TO BE CONTINUED!

Author's Note; The last vote ended in a tie which included the correct room where the murder took place, so Chapter 5 will be a continuation of this. It just felt natural to end it here for this chapter to build suspense!

So congrats!!! Just need to sit for a bit and decide how to wrap things up! And since you guys did technically get the room, there won't be a poll this time; just putting the next part in a new chapter.

#dove does events #twst #twisted wonderland #twst murder mystery #vil schoenheit #azul ashengrotto #twst silver #jade leech #cater diamond #<- still missing #rook hunt #<- murderer at large #cw death #cw murder #cw dead body #dead dove do not eat #i have to decide how to wrap things up; so that may take me a few days #do we want a happy ending or do we want a bad ending? hmmm decisions decisions... >:) #so while i go ahead and enjoy my weekend you guys can enjoy the cliffhanger!!!! mwah mwah love youuuuuuu #cw kidnapping

[neoplasm230]

Laios and Luchino outfit swap

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #identity v #idv #idv luchino #idv professor #luchino diruse #spoilers ahead! #two autistic massive biology nerds #who are friendly to people but largely alone regardless #have a deep respect and understanding of nature that other humans usually don’t understand #experiment their theories using their own bodies #and because of their relentless pursuit of knowledge end up becoming the monsters they study #these two silly billys scratch a very specific itch that my lil autistic brain loves

[rxttenfish]

while aaravi remains firmly within "yeah miranda has a difficult personality and isn't very easy to get along with + has many rough edges which are slowly being worked on but still going to be an issue" after having been very much so within the camp that miranda is a Vexing Bitch upon first contact/getting to know her, she DOES go from "miranda is unpredictable and dangerous as a merfolk and large macropredator and her emotions are inscrutable and random" to "merfolk aren't very hard to understand or predict and it's very easy to stay on the safe side if you keep basic rules in mind and don't freak out the second something unexpected happens"

#all the care guide says is 'biomass' #miravi.txt #just. thinking about it! #thinking about specifically how merfolk (like most other animals) growl/hiss specifically as a deterrent #like if you start really upsetting miri and she wants space and you to Please Stop #she will probably turn her face away from the other person or turn her body away from them #while growling or hissing and pulling her fins back #and will open her mouth to bare her teeth or gape her mouth open to show her teeth (including heavily panting) #where the point is ''i will hurt you if you touch me/get closer/dont stop so please dont do that'' #but a lot of people read it as her being either obtuse (if she turns away from them) #or outright aggressive for the showing of teeth and growling #when shes really not. shes being very polite in merfolk terms in giving multiple chances to avoid violence #shes going ''i am worried i might have to hurt you so please reconsider'' in a way thats very readable if youre another merfolk #who will then step away or give her her space and switch the tone of the conversation #to see whats wrong #whereas her being more deliberately aggressive/violent usually comes with minimal vocal cues at all #or (if shes specifically threatening someone such as in the case of getting aggressive over perceived threats to her social bonds) #she will often turn towards them and open her mouth and flare her fins #often deliberately closing the distance and making herself appear Extra Large #she WILL growl here but will never hiss (hissing being a more defensive sound) #and will often smack her tail against the ground or show her claws or otherwise demonstrate how large and how scary she is #as a deliberate point of ''you crossed a line and this is what is going to happen to you if you dont make it up right now'' #which! both require VERY different responses but might look similar to a human! #and might end up coming off as unpredictable or random in her actions and cruelty! #when shes not! shes just doing things the way a merfolk does them #which means aaravi realizes VERY quickly after learning about all of this #just how many cues miranda gives that people are starting to make her uncomfortable and feel Not Okay #that are ignored or written off because theyre merfolk cues #merfolk are very tolerant of stress but have basically no concept of escalation of violence for that reason #because if youve ignored every chance to prevent something dangerous up until the point it goes too far

[thenixkat]

20% of the global population is quirkless and we get 4 canon born quirkless characters

2% of the global population is blond and we get 49 (minimum not including white-haired characters who might be platinum blonde or characters with clearly artificially bleached hair) blonds in this piece

And yet the quirkless are a dying breed. Somehow.

#nix meows #my hero academia #quirkless #quirklessness #20% is a ctually enough of the population to be common #that's one in five people that is a large amount of people #20% of the population of several fucking billion is a viable fucking population to continue perpetuating quirklessness into #future generations #bc a certain amount of these millions of quirkless people are probably not going to want to have kids with quirked people #plus also if quirk doomsday theory true (which I don't buy b/c its stupid and I'm a biologist) #then if people continue to be born with more and more powerful quirks that come in earlier and earlier that their bodies cant handle #then quirked people will stop being born after a certain point #if fetuses in utero can't handle the shit or if the pregnant parents end up dying more birthing #uber powerful babies

[cellvphanehvuse]

it's stare at my guitar and wish i could play better o'clock

#everytime i pick it up i get genuinely angry #where as when i play the piano i'm like okkkk silly sounds #i really dont think it's the instrument for me.. #my mum gave me her acoustic ages ago but it's too fucking large #my brittle body cannot take the weight #and it's too long i can barely reach the fucking end. #anywhoo #mackyzmusic

[dreamlogic]

musing in the tags about the view two years out from my hysterectomy and the shifting nature of neuropathy. i asked my PT for recommendations/resources pertaining to pain science and that's been a very helpful lenses to have. i'm still not back to normal, will never be unmarked by this experience or return to my pre-op self, but my baseline has been gradually increasing over the last few months, and it feels good to look back on the last two years and say "i have no idea how i managed to function while living with that, but i did!"

#meatsuit renno #chronic blogging #ctxt #at first post-hysto pain was a deep burning ache #and eventually that lessened on my left side and settled in for the long haul on the right #after a couple weeks it had started to feel like a small carnivorous creature scrabbling and gnawing at the inside of my abdomen #nestled into the hollow of my pelvis and reaching up with its raking claws #about 6 months in and the creature still chewed occasionally but had shrunk to the size of a tennis ball under my right incision site #it clamped its jaws down and went to sleep and i perpetually felt like someone had pinched a fold of my insides with a large binder clip #this constant awful twisting tug every time i moved that kept me from straightening up or breathing fully #this is about a year into recovery and my original surgeon has blown off my requests for follow-up treatment three times now #i carried on as best i could. fatigue and brainfog getting worse & worse as the pain wore on unrelentingly #about a year and a half into recovery it worsened again. searing lancing pain like i'd been impaled on a piece of white hot rebar #couldn't hardly move. couldn't think straight. couldn't sleep #finally checked myself into urgent care & then the ER just to try to get someone anyone to take me seriously and help me #finally got a referral to a new surgeon who immediately pinned it as extreme neuropathy #started gabapentin end of december last year and the relief was immediately #i never thought i would welcome the gritted teeth vice grip of my little feral pain creature #but when i felt the molten spike slide out to be replaced once more by its worrying jaws #the intermittent spark and fizzle of that pinching squirming pain was a dramatic improvement #then i started PT in march and slowly so slowly the creature's hungry grip is loosening #it still clamps down occasionally. maybe once every week or two i'll have a day when i just accept #that there will be a horrible little creature chewing on my right side from the inside #but nowadays with the gabapentin doing as much as it can and an exercise routine i must stick to religiously to supplement PT #the pain is more of a little pearl of dark matter shifting around under my skin #it's incredibly dense. the heart of a black hole of disabling agony. all that white hot fury condensed into a slick heavy marble #as i recover some of my strength and energy i can feel my body coating it in nacreous layers to minimize its influence #my hysterectomy was 2 years and 4 days ago today and i feel like i can finally finally say i'm beginning to truly heal #i suspect i'll always carry this pearl in my side like shrapnel. product of damaged nerve tissue that went untreated for far too long #i wish my original surgeon had been more competent more attentive less lazy & indifferent to my pain. but i still don't have any regrets.

[proteusolm]

Tis the season where I visit my family home for a couple weeks and spend an hour a day brushing the winter coat out of this thing, yet the amount of fluff that comes off never in any way decreases.

#He's definitely part husky #With probably a large amount of lab #And something about the dense fluffy undercoat+smooth guard hair combo just does NOT shed out nicely #His ass fur gets so compacted but it's also the one area of his body he doesn't like having brushed #So I end up chasing him around trying to brush his pants #Tommy

[cookinguptales]

man, I don't know if it's like. residual emotional effects from yesterday, the physical toll it took on my body, hormones or just like. a general sense of malaise. but I just kind of want to lie in bed and cry today.

I just finished a work project, which is generally call for celebration, but I just. every time I try to work on a creative project instead, I feel like everything I make is awful. every time I try to just veg and watch something, I feel like I'm wasting my time. my brain is very... scratchy today, for lack of a better word.

idk, maybe I'm just mentally exhausted. I had to put on kind of a brave and friendly face for most of yesterday, but it was a pretty awful experience. the actual migraine(?) was terrifying, especially because the experience wasn't anything like other migraines I've had, the tests were stressful and painful and I'm having quite a few physical effects today because of them. and no matter how often it happens to me, there's something so specifically demoralizing about paying several hundred dollars to go to the hospital and stay there all day just for them to say "good news! we can't find anything wrong!" like that makes you feel any better at all when something clearly is.

idk how I feel so simultaneously over and underwhelmed today.

#vent post #I'd usually go for a walk to air out my brain but uh #let's just say that my body is very unhappy about some things that happened to it yesterday #plus the overall ache that comes from tensing up for an hour for an MRI #my joints are so fragile today and it's driving me nuts #I had to hold the call button in a weird angle during the MRI and MRA yesterday and my fingers hurt like hell by the end #and this morning they just won't do fucking anything I want #and they had to give me a large dose of zofran because I have bad reactions to MRI contrast #and uhhhhh let's just say that I'm not having a great reaction to that rn either #plus after all those attempts with the IV my arms are one big bruise #I'm whining sorry but today everything feels like a lot #maybe just feeling the things I didn't have space to yesterday idk

[roomy-ghosted]

if you think rand is a classic prettyboy and skinny like his reference no he's fucking not.

#im shooting you with my MIND lasers right now if you think he's classic prettyboy #this is not directed at ANYONE- this is just me being gay and loving stinky boys. #im just having thoughts about men rn is all #like. no. He has chonk. Like a lot. he barely goes out. his face is full of ACNE. he has DAD BOD from all the beer he drinks. #he is scruffy as fuck; his scalpe and hair is GREASY and he is full of dandruff. #his teeth are probably off-white because of all the drugs and also because he forgets to brush them #he is DRENCHED in bodyspray constantly. #he's also COVERED in body hair all over. #like- #Maybe in a good ending au he starts washing his hair sometimes again #he has closure from what happened to Rachel. not perfect closure but. there's some. it helps a litte #his hair is really frizzy though and puffs up like a scared cat after that shower #maybe it takes ages but he starts brushing his teeth again #jrwi #bitb #timothy rand #im gay as fuck for this man; im a homosexual. #but GOD am I tired of people thinking he's a prettyboy #REJECT. canon. Look at Rand. Listen to his actions. This man is stinky and out of order and I love him for this #he probably has large piles of takeout boxes towered in his room <33 #am I saying Rand is a bear? no. a little. he's not an otter. do bears need to have beards to be a bear? #idk but he's covered in hair and chubby and is a bear gay to me

[dykethevvitch]

Started as a doodle about how Jonny's probably got a lot of scars, ended with me having a headcanon that he 100% lounges around the ship shirtless

#tw smoking #cw smoking #the mechanisms #jonny d'ville #art #digital art #btw had to actually think about how I think their regeneration works #and most wounds (especially fatal ones) scar and won't go away unless the entire area AROUND it has be be regrown #which resets their bodies (keeping scars gained before or during mechanization) #most scars end up being reset BUT sometimes scars will fade completely bc that's possible it just takes awhile #but some scars are so thick/large that they only go away with a total reset #they'll often throw themselves into the engine/other extreme deaths to reset on purpose bc after a certain point #too much scar tissue is painful/makes it hard to move #normally after getting a burn as large as the one on his back Jonny would immediately try to reset bc burn scars suck #but he doesn't do it this time bc he loves bringing up the fact that tim dropped a grenade on him by accident and needs a reason to #so the scar can stay #really large/severe/or old scars will sometimes last THROUGH a reset but will be less than they were #so when jonny eventually DOES reset the scar doesn't actually go away it just heals enough that it doesn't hurt to lift his arm up #his top surgery scars look thin but if you touch them the scar tissue is super thick so they last through resets #his most recent scar is the stab through the ribs from Ashes

[ghstmsk]

Seasons Greasons

Left to right from top to bottom: Cherry (he/she), Watermelon (she/her), Shroom (he/him), and Winter Blade (he/him)

#my art #cherry #watermelon #shroom #winter blade #shortest set ive done in a while #cherry was the one i was most excited to do #i will say she ended up looking thinner than he actually is cause her? cloak?wrap?jacket?idk what to call it covered up most of his body #watermelon actually had a different personality and slightly different design before i drew her #she was originally planned to be more i guess ditsy and cute and was wearing a bikini top with her large coat and wouldve had like a visor #but right before i drew her i realised how boring i found that concept #so i changed her to be more sharp antagonistic and a bully #and i like her more shes my favourite in this set i think shes funny #type to smugly in a bully way go “aww poor thing~” and shes taking a photo of an abandoned pack of cigarettes or something #shroom is a mushroom witch which is a concept thats probably been done to death but i dont care i wanted to do one :3 #i also wanted him to be tall and lanky and mostly wearing one color #his hair was quite difficult for me really not how i do hair usually but his hairs based on shaggy mane/inkcap mushroom so #winter blades design is inspired by what a middle schooler who got into anime and idolizes sasuke and shadow the hedgehog would think iscoo #as well as being inspired by santa and ded moroz and his mask is inspired by krampus #his real name in fact is sanya claus

[honestlyvan]

My pet theory is that GHOST is gonna end up creating Quintessons, btw.

The evil GHOST grubs leaving behind purple Energon-ish residue and having an aesthetic similar to the Arachnobots implies that this is already technology made by humans that uses Energon as its primary power source.

Originally my theory regarding the Terrans was that they’re a “backup” of Cybertronians, using the local creatures as a growth template to generate the protoforms, but I’m actually finding it likelier that humans were a direct creation of Quintus, that Earth is a seeded world, and that humans and mecha are more compatible than either humans or mecha are aware of. GHOST trying to create its own “terrans” and ending up with tentacle monsters with a ravenous appetite for killing everything that isn’t exactly like them would make them an interesting dark mirror for the Terrans.

#Transformers Earthspark #Earthspark spoilers #Quintesson Bear had extremely similar tentacles structurally to the Arachnobots #I don't think we've seen the last of the evil dead Energon coloured protoplasm flowing into the nearest large body of water #And whatever GHOST is doing that is attracting/making the evil grubs appear is gonna come back to haunt everyone also #EDIT: also rewatching that bit I realised that the grubs probably came out from the Earth so Quintessons could already be ON earth #and GHOST just ends up weaponising them #fannish

[astralazuli]

I need new undergarments. Which is like. My personal hell as a fat enby with sensory issues & slightly hindered mobility. Spent some time today digging through page after page of google search trying to find something &...

Look, I'm just saying. Whoever keeps deciding to list their brands as "size inclusive" & "plus size" when their largest size is a women's 14?

I think fat people should be allowed to hunt them for sport.

#I found exactly nothing that fits my needs. #After several hours of looking. #Actually I take that back. #I found ONE place that has what I want #but they work on a FUCKING SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE #instead of as an ACTUAL FUCKING STORE #I am not paying $60 a month for the privilege of buying your clothes. #I DON'T CARE if that includes a once per month credit towards clothes. #straight up laughing like a mad lad as I tell Birdfriend about this #because the only other option is laying on the ground & crying #I am so fucking done with with clothing companies #just acting like fat people don't exist/don't wear clothes #'cause you know every single fucking person there #would be so offended if any bit of skin showed on a fat person #(The secret is that they think that fat people aren't actually people.) #(& that fat folks have zero right to exist.) #Frankly I'm at the point where I would honestly just try sewing my own clothes #Just to avoid having to deal with clothing manufacturers/stores #But no one makes patterns in my size either so. #Love how no matter how much I work towards body neutrality #I cannot escape the fact that the world doesn't want me in it #Purely for losing the genetic lottery #& ending up with a large body.

[skypiea]

if u were fat as a kid u spend so much time being fat as an adult unraveling the absolute mess of behaviors u had beaten into u by society and media and maybe even people you love. Learning to accept seconds when you’re hungry, learning to eat around other people in general, to wear clothes you like instead of ones that “flatter your body type” (ie obscure as much of your silhouette as possible). telling urself its fine to become visibly winded after doing a strenuous activity in public and u dont need to hide away in a corner or side room until youve recovered. letting yourself eat food you like. existing in public without shame. these things creep up on you growing up without u even realizing it and suddenly theyre a part of you. and it sucks so bad. but it feels so liberating to be free of them

#kite.txt #tbh I still struggle a lot with eating around other people #im p good with my family and friends but if im at an outing where im dining with people I dont know then like #good chance I wont eat anything at all #am lucky to have a wonderfully supportive family who largely never made me feel this way #but I still ended up like this. Which says a lot about how pervasive this shit is #I never hated my body or being fat but I still did all this bc I was subconsciously so afraid of how other ppl perceived me #in regards to being their fat friend #ugh. shit that bonks you up so bad

[isdalinarhot]

I am quite drunk right now. I wish Dalinar is here. Like present day Bondsmith Dalinar. He would not have sex with me (because I’m “too drunk to consent” or some lame ass geek shit like that 🙄) but maybe if I said please he would hold me close and nice and tender. And he would be like what you’re doing is destroying yourself and all your social connections. And I would say yeah but it makes me not want to die :( and then I don’t know what he would say but we would stay with each other an it would be a soft comfortable moment. I dunno. Dalinar <3

#luke.txt #drunkposting #I am certified wasted right now #and yet. and yet I am not stopping. I think even if I ended up barging (which like I do feel quite nauseous rn) #I would not stop. I want to be drunk beyond words. I am sorry I know that is not the pro recovery thing to say but I am saying it anyway #oh dalinar if only you were real and we could spoon and we could have the warmth of both of our large bodies engulf the other #and we could stay big and strong and so in love #the sad truth is that if dalinar were real and bondsmith era I would likely trigger him so bad #but I don’t know I need big large handsome-ugly man holding me so softly #I dunno