smolaltgurl

[smolaltgurl]

why does my bpd have to come with a fucking ed? as if being constantly overwhelmed by your feelings isn‘t enough!

#bpd problems #actually bpd #bpd #bpd thoughts #ed

[smolaltgurl]

BPD culture is not knowing how to cut off toxic people from your life because you'd rather be constantly hurt and upset than lose anyone else, even if they're not the best people.

— 🍓

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[smolaltgurl]

it‘s a cycle i don‘t want to repeat

i don't wanna be alone anymore, but i don't wanna interact with people and be hurt again. i don't wanna hurt anyone either, and i don't want more people to hate me. what the fuck am i supposed to do? i really wanna kms rn

[smolaltgurl]

repeat after me you guys, BPD culture is working to understand your emotions and handle them in a healthy way instead of trying to hide them or push them down. BPD culture is using communication to have healthy relationships and flourishing friendships. BPD culture is taking accountability for your mistakes and learning how to fix them. BPD culture is working to feel more comfortable with asking for help/using support systems. BPD culture is recognizing that you are not a bad person because of your disorder and that you deserve to be happy and live a happy and fulfilling life. BPD culture is knowing that we are not alone, and that we do not have to suffer forever. BPD culture is never giving up hope. We can do it you guys, I promise you we can.

<3!!! /p

[smolaltgurl]

bpd with a drifting fp culture is knowing you've always been too much to handle and simultaneously not enough to love, but still clinging on to every little sliver of hope that maybe this one won't leave if you do something right for once maybe they won't push you away and drop you like all the others you got deathly attached to before, if only you can stop being so intense, if only you could be Normal

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[smolaltgurl]

i had a dream of him being with someone else and woke up wanting to sh

bpd culture is thinking you're finally okay with your fp being with someone else, you're happy for them, you're probably not even in love with them anymore.

and then you *see* them being with someone else.

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[smolaltgurl]

Bpd culture is absolutely losing your mind after going no contact with your fp. You become even more obsessed, to the point where all of your thoughts 24/7 are somehow related to that person. And bpd culture is also knowing how wrong and unhelathy this is, but not being able to change the course of your own thoughts, so you just silently sit and watch yourself fall apart.

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[smolaltgurl]

"Wow, you're so self-aware! It takes most people years of therapy and dedication to get to that point." Thanks, I constantly feel completely disconnected from my physical being and the material sensation of my body, brain, and spirit/soul is so overwhelming that I often have to see myself as an objective third-party instead of an integrated entity. Father son holy spirit and all that.

[smolaltgurl]

girlhood is lying about being in a relationship to a guy way older than you

#girlhood #gross men #girl problems

[smolaltgurl]

when he doesn’t have social media so you have to look at pictures on his linkedIn

#bpd fp #bpd problems #favorite person #obsessive love #actually obsessive #obsessive yandere #no contact #obsession

[smolaltgurl]

why is staying alive an active choice i have to make every single day

#actually bpd #bpd #bpd problems #bpd thoughts

[smolaltgurl]

No impulse control, being forced to keep silent about everything I was going through or face punishment when I was younger and suddenly now that I'm an adult, I have the power to say what I want, when I want without feeling like I'm keeping a dirty secret. I no longer feel guilty for sharing the abuse I endured. I also feel the need to let people know that I am a damaged person inside and out so that they stop perceiving me as this perfect person with no flaws and a great family because that's all people see me as, someone who doesn't struggle....until I finally speak up and say that I've actually struggled deeply my whole life.

[smolaltgurl]

proud of my first linoleum print ✨

#linocut #linoprint #linoleum #linoart #printmaking #art print #art #mushrooms #mushroom art

[smolaltgurl]

dreamcatcher i made a while back

#dreamcatcher #witch #witchcore #witch aesthetic #diy #diy or die #skilling away my bpd symptoms #diy instead of sh

[smolaltgurl]

Having a favourite person who is emotionally unavailable is hard. The more i show my love and obsession towards them, the more they feel the need to distance themselves. Why can‘t i just love them unrestrictedly? Why do i feel the need to pretend they don’t mean as much to me?

#bpd fp #bpd vent #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd problems #actually bpd

[smolaltgurl]

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a real personality. I have a different one for every person I interact with. I'm always the person they expect me to be. People say I'm a good listener, but I'm subconsciously gathering information, analyzing their reactions to build a personality they like. A therapist told me it's manipulative, and maybe it is, but mostly it's a survival tactic that helped me through childhood. I‘m never my true self, in fact i think my true self was lost when i began to conform to my surroundings. How can someone be themselves when their true self never had a chance to develop?

#actually bpd #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd stuff #actually mentally ill #bpd problems #bpd mood #bpd shit