resistingtheborg

[resistingtheborg]

Romeo & Juliet but Friar Lawrence is replaced by Kronk, messes up the potions again, and both of them end up turned into llamas.

#I don't know #I thought I threw that stuff out years ago. #Oh yeah #I gave him a little something for the road. #romeo and juliet #the emperor's new groove #Nurse: “Why is she a LLAMA?” #Kronk: #Benvolio: “Why is my best friend furry and hooved?” #And he's out of the antidote #and the five of them are now on an epic quest to retrieve the antidote for the llama potion #Romeo's is 100% llama angst #Juliet is at least happy to be away from her parents and the engagement #Nurse is constantly losing her mind over her beloved charge being a fuzzy animal #Kronk is Kronk #Benvolio is DONE WITH EVERYTHING

[resistingtheborg]

Bell’s Hells: “Hey, Imogen, you okay?”

Imogen: “Yeah, why are you asking?”

*later*

Imogen: “Hey, guys?”

Bell’s Hells: “Don’t worry, Imogen. We’ll get through this. You’ll get through this. We all believe in you. We love you. We have faith in you. It’s going to be okay. Don’t worry.”

Imogen: “... Yeah. yeah, okay. Thanks. Thank you. Okay.”

Imogen: (was going to ask for a hug)

Imogen: (kind of needs a hug right now)

#critical role #bell's hells #imogen temult

[resistingtheborg]

Saw another post that didn’t understand the Scouring of the Shire and yet again I’m thinking about how the entire point of LotR and its vision of fantasy as a genre is brought home in the Scouring of the Shire

#lotr #tolkien

[resistingtheborg]

12 items or less in the express check out. We have a Japanese ghost girl on our team, and if you ignore this she will HAUNT you.

#guess who had to wait in line at the grocery store

[resistingtheborg]

One of the fun things about this site is how we have Tumblr!Batman (an exhausted, put-upon single dad who cannot get his kids to listen to him) and, to a lesser extent (I think?), Tumblr!Spider-Man (who is just this guy everyone knows and maybe the city of New York is trying to get him to self-destruct a little less?), but where’s Tumlbr!everyone else? Where’s Wally West getting loaded down with care packages because everyone knows that Barry’s gone and they’re just trying to make sure he’s okay? Where’s Wolverine going to college to try to get his teacher’s license? Who’s That One Guy that’s always trying to debate politics and philosophy with Wonder Woman? Captain America knowing everybody at the gym he goes to, at the coffee place that he hangs out at when he’s got time off? Superman trying to chaperone for Kara whenever she gets a date? Are they out there somewhere, and I’m just looking in the wrong places?

#batman #spider-man #flash #x-men #wolverine #wonder woman #captain america #superman

[resistingtheborg]

It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of these, hasn’t it.

At the time I was writing these, I was starting to develop a certain disdain for politics, political parties, and all they involved, something that was almost exacerbated by the fact that (if I recall correctly) it was an election year. That played a part in the “Rock Lee for President” gags that constituted the first story arc (if it can be called that).

The thumb wrestling gag in the upper right is another joke that seems to have withstood the test of maturity.

#naruto #atla

[resistingtheborg]

Riddler: “Ahaha, yes! Once Batman gets his hands on this Spanish message, he’ll easily deduce the hidden message within. I’ll be able to chat with him by tomorrow!” - Alfred: “... Terrible grammar, I give you half marks.”

--

Riddler: “Rat with wings. He’ll be on Falcone like rats on a piece of rotting meat.” - Gordon: “I mean, people call pigeons ‘feather rats,’ right?” Batman: “Add it to the list.” Cobblepot: “Hey, you guys wanna HONKing untie me yet?”

--

Riddler: “Aw yeah, murder the rich and build the new world on their corpses!” - Batman: (sees a little boy who just lost his father) Batman: “This... This one feels personal.”

#the batman

[resistingtheborg]

So... Lightyear (spoilers)

I watched the movie a couple weeks, maybe a month ago. Right around when it first came out. And I have to say, I think that Chris Evans did a great job in the role. I think he captured the character pretty well.

The rest of the movie... oh boy.

You’ve probably seen all the complaints before. That Lightyear is a 2020′s Pixar  movie trying to be a merchandise-driven 1995 movie. The whole Zurg twist. The fact that the movie is about a space adventurer but spends all its time sitting around on one planet (this was a little less of a complaint for me, due to my annoyance with the other details). The whole thing with the sandwiches--what was the point of that?

I think that the biggest problem for me was the fact that Lightyear was intended to be an original work, but clearly expected audiences to come in knowing who Buzz Lightyear is. Heck, the opening text is all about how this is where Andy’s new toy in Toy Story came from. He starts out in a space ranger costume, but without the arm laser or the wings. The arm laser is improvised after a certain point in the movie, and the wings are attached when he ejects from the plane in the climax.

Oh, and that moment. It’s such a “Here is Buzz Lightyear, he’s finally turned into the character you know and love!” moment. Never mind that the original audience wasn’t supposed to know about Buzz Lightyear before this moment. And then the scene of the new space rangers in the original costume that Toy Story Buzz was wearing, arm lasers and jet packs and shiny surfaces. The reward for sitting through the whole movie.

I’ve heard that some people headcanon Lightyear as a darker and edgier reboot of the original film that Andy watched, and I can see it, but the director (I think it was?) says that both Lightyear and Buzz Lightyear of Star Command exist in the Toy Story universe and they are VERY different takes on the character.

Honestly, I feel like Buzz Lightyear is a preexisting property in the Toy Story universe, like a long-running comic book that started in the 60′s or 70′s. Started off with Izzy, Darby, and Mo, but kind of trundled along in a bit of a niche area as kind of a space exploration story. Then when Star Wars came out, a new writer came on and revamped the series X-Men style, replacing the supporting cast with the much more popular Mira Nova, Booster, and XR and leaning way into the fantastical side of sci-fi. The Buzz Lightyear/Star Command comics find their voice and take off in popularity, and the 90′s Buzz Lightyear trilogy and the cartoon draw from this point in the franchise on. Then, decades later, when the new Lightyear movie comes out with the original cast and a plot out of the early era of the comics, you have the fans who complain about the movie not capturing the spirit of the original work and the fans who say that using more obscure elements and hearkening back to the earliest days means that the director is a bigger fan of the original that you, except that by this point in time, the presence of Buzz Lightyear is pretty much a promise of a certain type of story, and Izzy, Mo, and Darby have had their own things going on in the comics and grown beyond the characters in Lightyear as well, and the movie almost deliberately doesn’t deliver on that promise--

... Sorry. I still have feelings about certain franchises.

#lightyear #buzz lightyear #buzz lightyear of star command #meta #headcanon

[resistingtheborg]

Thoughts about EXU: Calamity

PI had a thought about some of the details in Exandria Unlimited: Calamity recently. When I came upon it, I wanted to post it, and a few other thoughts asked if they could join in. So here you go!

As far as I know, Sam Riegel’s character in the current Bell’s Hells campaign, Fresh Cut Grass, is an Aeormaton. These are stated in-universe to have been constructed in the Pre-Calamity city of Aeor. And when I remembered that, I also remembered a detail about F.C.G. that saw a tiny bit of controversy after it started coming into play.

F.C.G. is a cleric, but he claims that all of his cleric abilities are built in. There aren’t any deities involved.

What brought this to mind? Well, in EXU: Calamity, we are introduced to a contemporary of Aeor: the flying city of Avalir. And in Avalir, the divine is treated with... well, if not an air of contempt, not much respect.

The first character we encounter is Zerxus Ilerez, the first knight of Avalir. Zerxus is a somewhat unorthodox paladin, in that he lacks what is mockingly referred to as an “intermediary,” instead drawing power from the people of Avalir themselves (as per the wiki. I can’t remember where this was stated in-episode). When a champion of the Raven Queen, the future legend Purvan Suul, appears, he is regarded as quaint, and people aren’t exactly impressed. Another player character, Patia Por’co, establishes her dim view of the divine within minutes of appearing onscreen.

Functionally, F.C.G. and Zerxus feel very similar, in that they are both classes commonly associated with the divine, produced in a culture and era without respect for the divine.

After this, we come around to the player characters. These people refer to themselves as the “Circle of Brass,” the people who don’t straight up run the city, but the “movers and shakers” who keep Avalir running. In the leadup to the first episode airing, Zerxus and police detective Cerrit Agrupnin were described as the “moral” members of the group. Indeed, the “greyest” action that Cerrit takes is to try and suppress investigation into something big and scary while he investigates on his own. Zerxus, for all that his relationship with his family is strained, comes across as a pretty stand-up guy.

Then we come around to the other characters.

Media magnate Loquatius Seelie turns on the charm whenever he’s on camera, but off of it he’s a bit of a political manipulator, choosing which officials to back and push towards glory--he even notes that he hopes one of them remembers “who put them” in their position. Beyond that, he’s kind of a jerk, and ditches his plus-one at a party in a situation that she has no idea how to deal with. He even makes fun of Purvan’s name!

(As an aside, I really want to see Bolo from Aeor and Aria the assistant hang out at some point)

The other really obvious bad egg is Nydas Okiro, a powerful merchant who, from the very first, is seen to be not a great person. When he needs to fill out an order for wands that he can’t yet, he draws from the school supplies that he maintains for a magic school. When people want payment for services rendered, he puts it off as long as he can. And ultimately, he’s even selling off excess aether (which appears to be illegal, though I’m not completely sure of the implications).

Remember Patia, from before? She’s in on it. When someone comes digging who it turns out shouldn’t know, she’s furious and goes looking for whoever leaked.

Even Laerryn Coramar-Seelie, Architect Arcane, is doing something behind the scenes. She’s excited for the upcoming Apogee due to what it means for a secret project of hers, and she desperately wants to get her hands on the celestial gold bow that’s a part of Cerrit’s investigation.

Zerxus is probably the only one of these people, who’s completely above-board, and even that’s in question considering how closely he works with them.

I saw someone referring to these guys as something along the lines of... “the villains of another campaign,” and it’s a very apt description.

Finally, I also saw a post talking about how everyone in the Circle of Brass is very knowledgeable about their genres, and they’re about to run into something that they straight up aren’t ready for. In particular, Cerrit is a hard-boiled noir detective, who’s going into a thriller. Except that I remember a movie my dad was watching a long time back, about a police investigation that turns up a more demonic culprit than they were expecting. Cerrit’s investigation involves a particularly dangerous wizard by the name of Vespin Chloris, who has gone missing lately... and who appears to threaten Cerrit from beyond a mirror at the tail-end of the episode.

Sounds like the setup for a horror story, if you ask me.

That’s not including Zerxus’s nightmare from the beginning of the episode--one that presents betrayer god Asmodeus (usually portrayed as a villain in Exandria) getting the snot kicked out of him by a surprisingly sinister Pelor. He’s been having these dreams for a while now, and in this latest one he sides with Asmodeus against the cruel and haughty Pelor. It seems that good and evil may be a little more complicated here than previously imagined...

... except.

We don’t know where the dreams are coming from. And we don’t know if they’re on the level.

And if it’s a portent of things to come? Who says that Zerxus will still be a hero when they do?

It’s really interesting stuff.

#critical role #exandria unlimited #exandria unlimited: calamity #zerxus ilerez #cerrit agrupnin #loquatius seelie #nydas okiro #patia por'co #laerryn coramar-seelie

[resistingtheborg]

The “Might Gai for Congress” gag means that this may have been written a little bit later than when I’m posting it. I’ll explain why once I get there. Also, the “thwomp” gag got a chuckle out of me after all this time.

#naruto #atla

[resistingtheborg]

More jokes about shipping. I think the one on the left actually might be funny. Also the first Ino-Shika-Cho gag, which amused me for some unfathomable reason. There’s not really much to discuss here, honestly.

#naruto

[resistingtheborg]

“After much analysis, we have determined that the murderer is a werewolf. The problem is, everyone in town is a werewolf.”

#silly #intended as silly #writing prompt?

[resistingtheborg]

I used Akatsuki for a lot of jokes. I used Tobi for a lot more jokes. Those jokes were usually better than the others.

#naruto #atla

[resistingtheborg]

Okay, this is going to be weird, but it’s in my head and I want it out of my head. Suffer with me.

Soooooooooo, imagine that we get the Wish Fulfilment Ending of Revenge of the Sith. Anakin doesn’t fall, Padme survives giving birth, they get marriage counseling, Palpatine is forced to flee into the darkness of space, swearing to turn the Skywalker line to his will someday, all the good stuff. The Jedi aren’t stoked about the marriage, but they’re basically okay with it because, will of the force, cute twins and stuff. Nothing bad eeeeever happened.

So, Luke and Leia grow up as kinda Jedi, raised in the faith, trained with their powers. Luke isn’t always the best at thinking things through, but he’s a spiritual person by nature and generally he’s nice, calm, gets along with everyone, beloved by all. Luke Skywalker Is A Good Boy.

Leia Skywalker is an uncontrollable gremlin.

Or rather, she’s raised as a Jedi, believes in the Force, but there’s something that she just doesn’t get in there about what the Force is. It’s an energy field, kind of, or it’s a bunch of microscopic bacteria in your bloodstream, and it tells her that she’s in trouble before she is, but she still kind of doesn’t get it. Luke and Anakin can explain it, and she understands the explanation, but there’s something in there she’s just not grokking and it leaves her a little bit unhappy. Which feeds into the gremlin thing.

I don’t know if she goes in for Jedi training or not, Luke definitely does. The important thing is that Palpatine is still out there, and he is still very interested in having a Skywalker apprentice.

So, one day, Leia is kidnapped. Palpatine has a cunning plan, and it requires that he rescue her from a bad situation so that she will begin to like him just a little bit.

Palpatine is not, however, expecting Leia to un-kidnap herself and get stranded out in the Outer Rim.

Leia is free, and not being seduced by the dark side, but she’s kind of stuck and she doesn’t know what to do. So, she goes looking for a way home, or at least some kind of job until she can go home.

Instead, she meets a Smuggler and a Wookie who are In Trouble with The Wrong People. And somehow, she ends up on their ship with them and ends up sticking around. She liked it back home, and she liked it with her family, but she’s kind of liking it out here too, with Han, and Chewie, and all of their friends that they get along with Some Of The Time.

The Jedi and the Senate and the Whole Freaking Planet of Naboo (who, remember, thought that Padme was the best thing ever, sliced bread need not apply) are losing their minds and trying to track Leia down. Anakin, Padme and Luke are going on adventures trying to find her.

(As an aside, Luke picks up a pretty red-headed girl named Mara on his adventures (Mara Jade might be a thing in this version? IDK). Mara, is of course, a dark side plant working for Palpatine. Luke Skywalker, being Luke Skywalker, Luke Skywalkers in her direction. Mara is okay with that. Why is she on the dark side again? Light Side is way nicer.)

Meanwhile, Han and Leia see a Mandalorian getting in trouble.

Han: “That guy’s a bounty hunter. He’s our natural enemy. We’re not getting involved.”

Leia: “We’re saving that guy.”

Han: “I just said”

And that is how they become friends with Din Djarin, who was alive and hunting bounties at this point in the timeline I’m sure. He never quite gels with the group, but they have this weird way of ending up in the same place aimed in roughly the same direction and they’re basically cool.

And Leia? Leia’s just spending every day going to new places, meeting new people, surrounded by life in a way that she’s never been before, getting pulled into helping people right whatever injustices their facing. Living. Surrounded by life. And starting to think about the Force in a way that she hasn’t before.

She’s also got something going on with Han, though both of them will deny it.

Eventually, the Skywalkers find Han, Leia and Chewie. And then Palpatine finds them.

It’s a huge, final season-long story arc. There are betrayals. There are heroes and rescues. Someone gets captured. Someone rescues them. Mara chooses the light. There is One Final Battle.

And in the end, Palpatine is destroyed.

And as the dust settles and everyone breaths a sigh of relief, Han realizes that he’s stuck on the same world as Leia’s War Hero Dad and Pretty Handy in a Fight Mom, and all of her Jedi with a capitol “Jedi” aunts, uncles, and childhood friends. And he’s starting to get the feeling that this isn’t going to go well for him.

Luke pops up from behind the scenery. “Hey everyone, I found a little baby girl in the other room and I don’t know what she was doing there, but Mara and I are keeping her. Okay? Okay, good talk, bye!”

(Padme likes Han from the get go. It takes a little work from Leia and Chewie (who does have an in with Yoda, they just haven’t talked for a while), but eventually Anakin accepts that he’s not the worst guy she could have chosen. Rey grows up with Leia Skywalker-Solo and Ahsoka Tano as role models, and Coruscant was Never The Same.)

I mean, imagine.

#this decided to exist in my head #none of it makes sense but i love it anyway #star wars #star wars au

[resistingtheborg]

More shipping snark. Also, Fantastic Four snark. Something about the four members of Taka vs well, Fantastic Four. Don’t ask me to explain it.

The little Shikamaru-Temari joke is a little awkward, now that we know the ending of the series. While writing these, I began to realize that, while I wanted certain outcomes for the characters that I followed, I wasn’t entitled to them. Because I am a pain in the butt, I made bad jokes about it.

This is also where I started putting the Akatsuki organization in various day-to-day scenarios and trying to make it silly somehow. That got to be a major thing going forward.

#naruto #atla

[resistingtheborg]

The second page, or what might be the second page. I had to go in and figure out what was what, and I’m still not sure I didn’t straight up lose one or two. I had a lot to say about shipping back then in all it’s various forms, most of it thoroughly unimpressed. Can’t say I’m sure why.

#doodle #naruto #atla

[resistingtheborg]

So, this probably requires context.

I was in my junior-senior years of high school in about 2013-14, and I was both a smart kid, and a fairly lazy student. That meant that I spent a lot of time in class getting bored and doodling. About this time, I was also starting to get into manga and anime (I’d already been a fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender for a while), which became the subject of a lot of the doodles.

And then the doodles turned into a sort of serialized story. It was... weird. When story arcs began, they would quickly turn ludicrous, and I would race myself to make it even more so until the joke collapsed in on itself and I closed things down as fast as possible to move on to something else.

I called them Narudoodles, and while I enjoyed writing them and showing them to friends and family, they were more for personal amusement than anything else. I never intended to put them out on the web.

Guess what my mom wanted for Christmas.

PS: This is gonna get weird, people.

#doodle #naruto #star wars #atla #bleach