This is by far the worst class that I have taken. Consistently I have been with the lowest grade, and my overall understanding of this class is abysmal. Despite being in my professor’s office every day.
In any case I make a point to strive for perfection, and not understanding something haunts me to my core. In any case I am forever hopeful. Im happy to be back, and I have lots to share
Hey bro, just so you dont get anyone who yells at you for no reason, reposting is when you take the content from someone else's post and put it in your own without crediting them, or sometimes even with crediting them. Reblogging is when you hit that funky reblog button that automatically gives credit to the original poster, and any notes on that post go to the OP. I just noticed you use the word repost weird
It was an honest mistake. I’m happy you caught that. It will be corrected here soon.
The struggle has been very real over the course of the last week. I failed a test (it was in the teens), my mom is still in the hospital, and some days are definitely better than others, but I am holding on.
I can’t in good faith give up everything that I’ve worked so hard to build. I have also been procrastinating. The Howard deadline is 30 April, and tbh I haven’t put my all into it (despite really wanting to attend the school).
It is honestly saddening that I used to have to deal with this. Reposting for the fact that there are a lot of black students who have succumb to this mentality. Be proud of your education.
So, keeping things honest I’m not doing the best right now friends. Over the course of the last 2 weeks one of my parents had a heart attack and the other is now on life support.
I really appreciate all of you who continue to support me and this study blog.
Morale of the story is that bad things happen to all of us, but it’s our actions after the fact that define us
Today was not the best by any stretch of the imagination. I was fighting myself most of the day trying to get my HW done despite putting in good time to try and complete it, the topics just aren’t resonating.
I find myself once again dragging behind the rest of my peers despite studying just as hard as they do. Sadly, I couldn’t tell you the last time I actually had a weekend to myself, or a nice moment that wasn’t overshadowed by the crippling weight of school.
I wish there were more instructors who truly understood that different students have different needs.
Today was rough, but I feel like I’m getting the hang of maximum and minimum values (thank you so much Lagrange).
I will say that I’m running into a bit of an existential crisis as far as my career is concerned. I feel like I really enjoy physics and am going to love making a job out of it, but this online learning environment is painful.
I want to actually do physics now that I have a better mathematical understanding, but at the same time I can only put forth so much effort in a class that has no social interaction. I can’t help but feel neglected considering I know how amazing my physics instructor is and knowing I’ll never officially have a “class” with him.
I’ve been struggling with my BPD as of late and it’s making me a bit more emotional than normal, but I’m taking strides to work through my issues.
A bit of positive news, I’m getting more comfortable on my skateboard, and am looking to land my first heelflip soon
I never really took the time to explain what the big picture is, so I’m going to attempt to explain it here
I want to be a great dad. As cheesy as it might sound, I love the idea of being a positive father, and father-figure to those who need that person in their life. To this day my dad doesn’t claim me, and much as I love my mom, there are still some things that I would have looked for from him. I will be the change
I want to be a millionaire, and establish various forms of income that can be utilized after my journey on earth is complete. I have already began investing, and look to retire (read: not work as hard) around age 40.
I want to make the world a better place. The earth is OUR mother, and its OUR job to protect her. I have created an animal rights groups, organized adopt-a-highway’s, gone to and organized many protests (the March For Science being to this day the biggest protest I’ve ever helped create).
I want to own a RHD (right hand drive) Snow White FC-RX-7. I adored Initial-D growing up and Ryosuke’s was the first car I actually fell in love with. I was able to own one for a short while, but due to a lack of money, and time I was never actually able to complete the build. I try to play it off like it was no big deal, but that car really meant a lot to me, and it’s my goal to do it right.
I want to be an example of a great physicist, and a symbol of black excellence. I want to show that if I, a vegan, pan, non-binary person can get their Ph.D doing what they love DESPITE being homeless and abused, then you can too.
Shout out to @messy-does-cosmology for putting in work, and being a good friend.
29.3.2021
This date is kinda fraudulent because it's past midnight now, but I'm giving myself a pass on being accurate because I am exahsted and I did about 10 hours of work today. I don't know if I've ever done that much work before in a day. Anyway I've been working on my research project report, and it's at 5500 words now out of about 6400 I need as the minimum for a first, so I only need to do roughly another thousand words to be in the clear (bibliographys don't count). I had a bit of a breakthrough because I worked out how to use the proper SDSS explore tool and it has been... life changing. I'm definitely going to be able to write another 1000+ words about my topic before I hand it in on Wednesday.
Day 29: Name your own aesthetic! What's an aesthetic you'd like to try out? I don't want to pretend to be a complex human being here but I really struggle to "try out" new aesthetics, because I feel very dismorphic about my own appearance often enough as is. Dressing like myself involves lots of primary colours, big jeans and a little shirt, or big jeans and a big shirt. I don't recognise myself otherwise. And if I were to name an aesthetic, it would be called astronomercore. It would involve a lot of fleece jumpers and thick jeans and gloves. And like maybe a big duvet stuffed in your backpack. Any fellow astronomy bitches will know.
These classes are the embodiment of a toxic relationship (but in the best of ways). The overall course load is a lot and most days I am struggling to get done by 10pm, but I can confidently say I FEEL LIKE A MATHEMATICIAN.
The math I’m doing now has real world applications. Yeah finding the slope of a line is cool, but when you find the vector tangent to the curve that accurately depicts the heating or cooling of a particular environment per mile THAT’S ACTUALLY USEFUL, AND HELPFUL TO THE WORLD.
On one hand, I have late nights followed by early mornings, and a fair amount of stress.
On the other, I have an overwhelming sense of validation, pride, and comfort.
This post goes out to @juicycupz, she was hands down the best partner I’ve ever had. While we may not be together now, she definitely played a major role in who I am now.