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mother-blossom · 2 years

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✿ confessions ✿

✿ cw//tw: rejected confession (if that counts) ✿

✿ angst, semi-comfort, friends to not lovers, cliffhanger, self indulgent and based of my irl events, will not be part two ✿

✿ word count : 1.98k ✿

✿ no beta i die dyslexic ✿

You let out a small sigh, looking up from picking at your nails to see Oikawa walking towards you. Silently you stood up waving at him and giving him a small nervous smile that he returned while walking to you. You bit the inside of your lip as he finally stopped in front of you, grabbing your hand in his. “I was looking for you, you weren't waiting near the entrance like usual for me.” He huffed pouting down at you. You shook your head, “Sorry I was just thinking a lot this morning and it slipped my mind..” You sighed, finally releasing the inside of your cheek from the onslaught of your teeth. He shook his head and pulled you, giving you a signal to start walking, “Dont worry about it, I found you in the end!” he exclaimed before looking down at you with worry in his eyes. As you looked back at him you felt your heart speed up. Your heartbeat pounding in your ears as heat rose to your face. “Are you okay, what were you thinking about?” he asked, softly squeezing your hand as he continued to lead you toward your class. “Don't worry about it Tooru” you sighed, shoulders falling with it, “I just want you to know you're a really great friend okay..” you trailed off, Oikawa squeezed your hand again. “I appreciate it, but promise me if you ever need to talk to me you will” he stated looking at you seriously. “Yeah yeah” you laughed, letting go of his hand as you finally got to the door of your classroom. Oikawa grabbed your wrist right before you walked into your class, pulling you into his chest and giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead, “I'll see you later, okay? I love you” he smiled, letting you go. Once again you felt the heat rise to your face as a wide smile crossed it, “Okay, I love you too” you whispered to him, watching him walk away. The outline of his figure getting smaller and smaller.

Turning away you walked into your class, sitting down at your desk and sighing tears welling up in your eyes. To you it wasn't fair, the way he made you feel just wasn't fair. You and Oikawa had been friends since you were children. When you thought about it, it felt like it was yesterday that both of you became friends. You remember being 5 and crying on the playground as you didnt have any friends. Then as you were crying a small shadow loomed over you. There stood a little Oikawa Tooru in an Argentina Volleyball jersey proclaiming that he was your prince and asking if you would like to play with him. Of course you said yes and ever since then you had been in love with him. Just the memories of that day caused your already forming tears to fall down your face. Even after watching Oikawa date several different people throughout the year you still loved him. You remembered the first time you were going to confess to him. It was back in middle school and you had finally gained the courage to ask him out. He came to you smiling brightly with someone trailing slightly behind him. You smiled at him, greeting him warmly. He looked behind him, his hand gesturing to the girl that stood behind him, “YN this is my girlfriend.” you still remembered the way your heart dropped that day. The way it felt holding back tears and giving the both of them a warm smile before excusing yourself. They didn't last long but it still hurt you, seeing them together. For years you had watched the same cycle happen, again and again.

Without noticing class had passed and the bell for the end of the day rang. Still you sat in your classroom , just lost in your thoughts with your eyes glassed over. You didn't even notice Oikawa walking into the room and bending over in front of you. As he snapped his fingers you jumped, quickly snapping out of your thoughts. He laughed and grabbed your bag helping you pack your books before grabbing your hand. “Hey are you coming to watch practice?” he asked as you stood up from your desk and grabbed your bag back from him, “If you want me too I can” you nodded looking over at him. He smiled over to you again, “of course I want you there, I think I play better when you're there. Even if it's just a practice, I always want you there” He explained to you, leading you away from the front gate and to the gym. Silently you let go of his hand and walked to the bleachers as he went to the locker room. You continued to think about your relationship with him.

After a few hours volleyball practice ended and you got up, meeting Oikawa out in front of the locker room. He held his hand out for you and you grabbed it, holding it tightly. “Hey Tooru?” you questioned, not looking over at him and instead just facing straight ahead as you both walked out of the gym. He looked at you, raising an eyebrow, “Yeah YN” he answered, continuing to look at you. You sucked in a deep breath, the cold night air stinging your lungs, “If you liked someone and you weren't sure that they liked you back, would you still tell them?” you glanced over at him, watching his reaction before looking back to the sidewalk. Oikawa paused for a second, taking a moment to think, “I guess so, I mean If you don't then you might regret it one day. Yaknow?” You nodded silently, “Well I guess, I mean the worst thing they could do is say they dont like me back right?” you laughed awkwardly. Oikawa shook his head, “Nah the worst thing they could do is tell you they never want to speak to you again and want you to leave them alone” You immediately felt your heart rate pick yo, the pounding filling your ears, “I mean i guess” you stumbled. Oikawa laughed, swinging your interlocked hands, “But you shouldn't worry about that, I mean if they really care about you, whether they want to be in a relationship or not they'll still be in your life!” you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding after he said that and nodded, “Yeah I suppose so” It was at that moment that you decided you would confess to Oikawa Tooru.

The following week Oikawa had a volleyball tournament to go to that you couldn't accompany him on, so instead you made sure to just see him off. He left giving you a hug and kiss on the forehead, with a bright smile, leaving you with a happy, “I'll see you when I get back, I love you!” After that you decided that it was probably best to confess to him while he was away, knowing that you'd never have the courage to tell him in person. After getting home and contemplating what you wanted to say you sent him a text, “Hey Tooru, call me when you're done, okay? I have to tell you something!” After sending it you placed your phone down, heart racing. After a few hours with no response you checked your text log, “humm read 6:42?” you questioned yourself, glancing at the clock, 11:30, “That was hours ago, he must be busy then…” Your heart sank once more, a pit forming in your stomach and the feeling of sadness swallowed you whole, “That's okay, I can wait, it's not like I wanted to tell him immediately anyway..” you reasoned with yourself, once again putting your phone down and deciding to go to sleep.

The next day you woke up, yawning and stretching out in bed, remembering the text you sent Oikawa the feeling returned. Against your better judgment you picked up your phone. To your surprise a text from Oikawa sat unopened on the homescreen. The text read, “Sorry, I didn't really see where you texted me last night, but of course I can, I'll call you after our match tonight!” You smiled, the text helping you fight off the sour feeling that was consuming you. All throughout the day you got side tracked, thinking about how tonight was going to go. You knew that there was a possibility of him not liking you back but surely with the way he acted and treated you he liked you back; so you didn't even think twice about telling him. As the time Oikawa was going to approach you, you felt your stomach doing flips and your palms got kind of sweaty.

When the phone rang you jumped toward your bed, answering it immediately. A smiling Oikawa greeted you warmly. “What did you want to tell me YN?~” he asked, the smile still on his face. Still nervous you asked him to give you a minute, stumbling over your words you opened up the notes app on your phone, clearing your throat and taking a deep breath before speaking, “So, you know how we were walking home last week?” you asked him pausing for a second and watching him nod, “Well when I was talking about telling someone you like them I think it became clear that I was talking about myself..” you mumbled, taking your bottom lip in between your teeth. Oikawa laughed softly letting out a small and awkward sounding, “Yeah of course I do.” You took a deep breath and finally looked at your phone screen, eyes meeting Oikawa’s, “wELL I was actually talking about liking you, Ive liked you for awhile, like ever since we were kids and I just thought I'd let you know. But please don't worry, you don't have to like me back but I would still like to be friends.” you blurted out not giving Oikawa any time to respond before hanging up. Laying back down on your bed, you took in a few deep breaths, eyes clouding with tears as you recalled Oikawa's face before you hung up. The shock that was written across it gave you a bad feeling.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of your phone. Bringing your phone to your face you paled at Oikawa's contact name and photo. Clicking the decline button you shut off your phone, finally going back to sleep. Waking up a feeling of dread immediately encases you as you recall the events of the night before. Hesitantly you turn on your phone, allowing it to boot up and seeing a few missed calls and some texts from Oikawa. Deciding it better to not call him back you look at the text, tears once again forming in your eyes as you read them. “I know it took a lot of courage and everything for you to tell me that and I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm just not really good at the relationship thing, you of all people should have known that. It's not that I don't like you either, I just have other things to focus on and I wouldn't be able to give you the relationship I know you want and especially deserve. I know you said you still wanted to be friends and I hope you meant it because I know I do.” You smiled through the falling tears, just happy that he still wanted you in his life. After sending him a “It's completely fine, I know you have other things in mind and I would have never wanted to hold you back from that!” text you sighed, this was the best version of things. “It could have been worse,” you told yourself, coming to peace with everything that had happened.

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🌸 my first haikyuu fic!! i love oikawa so it’s only fitting!! and yes this did happen to me, but it was a lot sadder irl 😭😭😭 also sorry for my unannounced hiatus i had major writers block. please look forward to bontens little doc and other fics

#oikawa torū #oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x you #haikyuu angst #oikawa angst #oikawa smut #haikyu scenarios #oikawa fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu hcs #oikawa fic #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x you #oikawa toru smut #oikawa toru fluff #oikawa toru x reader

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