mean-hare

[mean-hare]

There’s something so beautiful about self destruction

[mean-hare]

i have complex abusive on-off relationships with few EDs

I have a love hate relationship with Ana 🙏😔

[mean-hare]

btw reminder bc ppl here seems to confuse them (a lot of guys said in that they failing it etc) malnutrition doesnt always mean that you eat loo little:

you can be in normal weight or overweight and still be mlnourished

Fr tho DONT DIE pls and ty

[mean-hare]

i cant get rid of feeling that all these anoblogs here who constantly post things like "you are in control" "hunger is a mindset" "you are stronger than your desire for food" "you are the one who controls your body" and other banal ana motivation shit are either teen girls in their fresh honeymon phase who feel like its really very easy and always will be like this. or those who had their ed for too long, feel like that meme of wojak with overgrown dirty fizzy hair, wrinkles and heavy eyebags and now just mechanically repeat the same old phrases in desperate hopes to bring back that honeymoon phase

#disorder eating #ed blr #ed talk #boy ed #eating disoder things #ed disorder #anamia

[mean-hare]

i drank too much zero cal caffeine too fast and it shows

[mean-hare]

sometimes these hashtag positivity is so stupid, they dont know what theyre talking about. "your friends dont hate you" what friends? "you are working so hard" i dont even trying to get out of the bed, lol. "you are good and sweet and deserve happiness" how do you even know it, what if im bad, what if i actually punching babies and killing kittens, idk you dont even know my name. and my fav "your disorder doesnt define you" ACTUALLY IT VERY FUCKIN DOES

#ed blr #disorder eating #ed talk #boy ed #eating disoder things #ed disorder #mental disorder

[mean-hare]

fuckin!!!i really neeed some kind of chewerly or wtf are these called, those kind of chewing necklaces to chewing stim. i just need to gnaw and chew something, im clicking my teeth all the time, im not even hungry, just kind of stimming. and chewing gum doesnt help

#just rambling #ill never get it anyway #im too poor for that shit #everything for nd needs is avalible only thru eshops and is in euros or dollars and it means that everything is too expencive #disorder eating #ed blr #ed talk #eating disoder things #boy ed #ed disorder

[mean-hare]

sometimes it feels like it was much better before all this trend to be "supportive" and "mental health awareness". everybody hated or despiced us but at least they were honest about this. whats now? they still hate or despite us but now they dont really show it. yes, you love and care about neurodivergent ppl until they act like neurodivergent. yes, we are valid until they decide that we arent valid. yes we are wonderful until we are too much or arent enought. and dont forget,if we arent recovering or taking shitton of expencive pills we are promoting destructive behavior. if we daring to disagree with psychiatrists or therapist or, god forbid, dont do therapy we are evil. if we raise our voice a little too much we are abusive. if we say that we feel like shit we are traumadumping. etc etc. fuck, just say it. say that you hate us, say that we are creeps and weirdos, dont be a cowards, at least we will know what you really think about us

#every “evil sociopaths manipulating ppl into thinking theyre good” cliche is actually neurotypical ppl acting like supportive sweeties #of course i dont fit into their “sweet innocent neurospicy uwu cutie” form #im not going to be “gentle” and “kind” to ones who acting like theyre gentle and kind #oh how sweet they are kind even to that miserable wicked psychos #but dont you dare showing that your disorder isnt something about “its so hard but im growing and getting better” #they report and ban those who shows real strugle #raw truth and bloody guts of neurodivergency #i fucking saw these supportive people #i fucking know what you really are #just stop pretending you care and leave us alone #huh im talking too much today #angri #ed disorder #boy ed

[mean-hare]

sometimes i cant tell the difference between nsfw and ana blogs. its all skinny tiny pale girls, short skirts and crop tops, men holding girls hands showing their size difference, quotes about being sad, and then theres some very horny post and im like ah so it wasnt soft coquett anablog oops...

#ed blr #disorder eating #ed talk #boy ed #eating disoder things #ed disorder

[mean-hare]

i need a button that make the mattress shake me off from it so i can finally go to pee instead of lying here and hold it up for ungodly long time too lazy to get up

[mean-hare]

Curious about everyone's experience of their "ED voice". Does the ED argue with you as yourself? "I talk"

Ex: "I really want this food" "I don't need it. It's going to make me fat"

Or does the ED argue with you as something out of yourself. "Me vs you talk"

Ex: "I really want this food" "you don't need it. It's going to make you fat"

Okay to RB this. I'm really curious about this. I've been reading on ED dissociation and the ED voice and there isn't much research on it. I want to see how the tumblr ED circle experience their voice vs what's come up in research.

#it usually “me with me” #sometimes “me with you” #but its almost never someones else voice #its always mine voice or something voiceless #like reading personless text #sometimes i conscinously give it diffrent voices #since childhood i dont follow others and dont really care about other ppl and sometimes make things out of spite #so i guess i cant listren to voice in my head if its a voise of somebody else like why tf should i listen to another random bully #unless its a voice that reassures and says kind things #my own voice usually says mean things #idk how to put it into words #something like this

[mean-hare]

idk for tags... anybody who wants i guess

starting a picrew chain :3 link + tags below the read more

@angelbvn @s-starvoid @seragakiidney @luvztruk @trophyhound @superegosystem @hystericfae @autistic-beanmonster2 @stims-4-breakfast @aardvarkfactory @ararexic @chi-ketsueki @lains4lab @charmdex @vampire6bux @pigeonisdead @makkie-is-screaming @definitely-not-clay @tamagotchikgs @aahsoup

[mean-hare]

workout idea: watch emoviolence live performance video and repeat vocalist's moves

how tf oldschool screamo artists are so skinny... i guess shouting and rolling on a stage floor burn a lot of cals

[mean-hare]

how tf oldschool screamo artists are so skinny... i guess shouting and rolling on a stage floor burn a lot of cals

#disorder eating #ed blr #ed talk #boy ed #eating disoder things #ed disorder

[mean-hare]

btw good thing to do instead of eating: sing! for sure you cant eat while you sing

#disorder eating #ed blr #boy ed #ed talk #eating disoder things #ed disorder

[mean-hare]

lol anon is just lying or dont know the whole truth (like thay may still restrict or something). "they lose faster than restricting" yeah yeah of course, and its not just some water weight! why dont we all just purge! its soooooooooo simple and easy! the easiest lw optin ever existed! how couldnt we never concider this! [sarcasm]

gen question! if you hate it when you eat, then why don't you just purge? most of my friends are bulimics and lose faster than when restricting. i don't want to sound rude, sorry if i did!

I have family members that purge & trust me, it does not have a pretty ending. Nothing fun about having to be taken to the ER room because you passed out in the toilet while puking- that’s what would happen to them. don’t wanna live that.

Also, I’m emetophobic.

[mean-hare]

type prevs url with your eyes closed in the tags

#dugcg vgudtzl-tfzfm #i cant #how am i so clumsy #at least some letters are right