maxsroom-jamesbaldwinsversion

[maxsroom-jamesbaldwinsversion]

My poem - I am not good with words!

#poetry #poems and poetry #love poem #poetic #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #author

[maxsroom-jamesbaldwinsversion]

A complete list of pets my family has had.

A black cat with no name. I was three so either she didn't have a name or I forgot it.

Dennis (AKA menace)- A hamster who decided his three-story cage wasn't big enough and that people were the enemy. Almost daily he would escape his cage and instead live in my ANTIQUE wooden doll house. If you tried to remove him, he would remove your fingers.

Purdy - A King Charles terrier who was very pretty. However, do not go near her mouth. Even with food. It is a death sentence. She lived to thirteen and even while deaf and blind she could tell if you were approaching her pearly whites.

Two Springer Spaniels - Jasper Casper and Jim Diamond. Jasper used to run full force into kitchen cabinets chasing shadows. He somehow made it to thirteen. Jim is still going strong.

Charlie - an obese chihuahua (maybe, we're not sure if he was even a dog).

Betty - a little black chihuahua who managed to get pregnant by Finnley (coming up later) when he was 9 MONTHS OLD.

Declan - a racehorse who is too shy to race.

Darby - a chestnut pony who we bought for casual hacking, however, at the slightest sign of freedom he would bolt (with you on him).

Peanut - a shetland/fallabella pony who broke two of my toes.

Woody & Buzz - two guinea pigs who managed to hide so well in their cage that we routinely thought they had escaped (Buzz was later renamed to Fat Nugget).

Jinx - a demon of a cat who asks for attention and then attacks you for the fact she had to ask.

Rosie and Ronnie - cats! Ronnie got run over the same day we let him outside. Rose is still kicking at 14 but habitually brings mice HEADS to our front door.

Colin - a cockatiel whose only talents are wolf-whistling and sitting on Rosie to test her animal instincts.

Kia - a thoroughbred racehorse.

Sooty - a black feral kitten brought home to us by Jim. In his mouth. Completely unharmed. We think he found her in a field?

Shiela - another cockatiel who we got as a friend for Colin. Her only talent is screeching at the top of her lungs when you're trying to relax.

Alfie - an orphaned lamb. He needed to be bottle fed, however, he would headbutt the groin of anyone who tried to do it. He, in fact, chased my stepfather around the orchard trying to get at his groin.

Mario - a tea-cup cockriel who managed to drown in a kiddie pool we had set up for the ducks (the pool was maybe 30cm deep).

Maggie - a duck who got kidnapped.

Shelly & Lucy - sheep who would run away if you tried to interact with them.

Chickens - too many to name but a few notable ones were; sonic (ran everywhere) and Molly (named after my sister because she strut around like she owned the place).

Finnley - a chihuahua who looks and acts more like the illegitimate son of satan himself than a dog.

Boris - son of Betty and Finnley who was born with an underbite, floppy ears that never stood up, and only one testicle.

Edgar - son of Betty and Finnley who lived each day like he wanted it to be his last.

Elvis - the final son of Betty and Finnley who begs to be picked up and then growls like he never wanted it in the first place.

Lucy - an ex-racehorse who, when in jumping competitions, decides she's not done when the course says so, and bolts.

There might have been a few I missed but that's all for now folks.

#animals #pets #my pets #evil creature #funny #funny post #shitpost