lilleeaa

[lilleeaa]

This one took me a little longer to read because I already knew what was happening it was just Hardins version. I loved it. I am sad and absolutely heartbroken that I am done with this series. I have fallen in love with the characters. I wish these characters did exist. It’s so crazy to me how emotionally invested you get when you read a great book. Well now on to the next! Anyone have any recommendations??

#annatodd #after series #afterwecollide #after we fell #before anna todd #done reading the series #need a new book #me

[lilleeaa]

“I want to be a work of art, at least in my soul, since I can’t be one in my body.”

— Fernando Pessoa (via goodreadss)

[lilleeaa]

“ The worst part of being okay is that okay is far from happy ”

Anna Todd

#anntodd #after by anna todd #mavelee #me #mumblr #trying to fin out who i am #looking for me

[lilleeaa]

Hardest part about a good book is that I want to finish it and see how everything turns out but also take my time because I don’t want it to end

[lilleeaa]

“-but people never notice it. People never notice anything”

— J.D Salinger, The Catcher In The Rye

[lilleeaa]

“What you must understand about me is that I’m a deeply unhappy person.”

— John Green, Looking for Alaska

[lilleeaa]

La mayoría de mis inseguridades, fueron creadas; por una madre con falta de amor propio, y un padre sin corazón.

- Lv.

Familia...

[lilleeaa]

Happy Birthday Alan

Today you would have been 4 yrs old. I sat this morning thinking of you and how you might look today and how much you you would be taking and how your personality would be. I think about how much pain your mom must be in everyday since she lost you. Im sorry baby boy that I failed you as your aunt. I should have been better. I love you so much and it hurts me to know I won't ever see this smile again, or the little mischievous face you made when doing something you knew wasn't right. It hurst to know that I won't be able to see you grow into a grown man. I love you Alan and I will always carry you in my heart. Forever

#4th bday #birthday #sadness #grief #angel in heaven #mavelee

[lilleeaa]

Sunday Funday

#about me #mavelee #me #sundayfunday #finally

[lilleeaa]

“You deserve a lover who takes away the lies and brings you hope, coffee, and poetry.” 

Frida Kahlo.

[lilleeaa]

“You did not understand what I am. I am pleasure, I am love, I am essence, I am an alcoholic, I am an idiot, I am tenacious. I am; I simply am” Frida Kahlo (1907-1954)

[lilleeaa]

It’s Tuesday the kids 1 st day back after a long 3 day weekend & this mama is done for the day. Enjoying this white claw and I’ll probably enjoy a couple more before bedtime

#me #mavelee #tired mama #white claw #drinking #alcohol

[lilleeaa]

Me

A little about me

•I’m 30 yrs old

•I have 5 kids

•My favorite color is royal blue

•I love to read love stories

•I’m a hopeless romantic

•But at the same time I don’t believe true love exists

#me #mavelee #baylage #about me

[lilleeaa]

Finally finished this one! Book #3...took me a little longer because, let’s be real life. I decide I wasn’t going to push myself to tear it fast justvtake it in and read it at my pace. I loved it!im ready to go buy the 4th one.

#after we fell #after series #reading #sunday #me #mavelee #afternators

[lilleeaa]

Is anyone really honest

I wonder...all those fucked up,angry,sad,vulnerable thoughts we all have? Is there really anyone truly that speaks em and says it to at least one person with out fear of judgment, of being made feel stupid, or just plain fucked up? Is it normal for people to have at least one person they can be truly honest with? I don’t...if I spoke everything I think People would not think I’m a good person. They would think I’m weak sad pathetic person. They would see me a this bad person. And even tho I know my thoughts are fucked I don’t feel like a bad person. Is this normal? Does everyone feel like that at some point? And if yes do they have a confidant to speak these unthinkable thoughts too with out judgment. Inwish I had a person to not feel judgeed or feel dumb or mean for saying what I think.

#rant #me #thoughts #perosn #person #feeling fucked up #mavelee #alone #hate #i hate myself

[lilleeaa]

Sometimes I hate my mom

I am the only kid out of the 4 that still lives in Vegas. The other 3 are in Nebraska and have no plans of coming back. Well I was on the phone with her right now and makes a comment that she will be moving to Nebraska. Right away my mind starts to race. Thinking how could she even tell me this. Does she not care to see my kids grow up. I have always been the one to visit call you and your going to leave me. The other 3 don’t make a effort for you but yet you follow them anywhere and chase them to call you. Don’t you think I realize your following your three kids that are your husbands. That man. That fucken man! Does she blame me for what happened? Maybe she’s wanted to be far away as possible. You kicked me out at a young age. You were quick to cut me from your life till I came barging you for a relationship for help. She’s waited to get away from me. But me with my fucked up forgiveing insecure self can’t seem to pull away from these two people that completely ruined me. My childhood. Took it away. I grew up so fast. I learned to count on nobody. I just count on myself because no one ever cared enough....not until Miguel. Only Person that has moved everything dropped everything for me. Even after I was a terrible person to him. I gotta focus on my kids life , I can’t let his bad thoughts consume me. Sometimes my head is all over the place. I want to scream, cry, break shit just let these feelings out. But I can’t. My kids need me to be ok. They need me to be strong. I am strong for them.

I obviously have some deep seeded issues. But thank God I have this place to write this shit out. Because if I didn’t I would suffocate

#mom issues #i hate myself #bad childhood #wtf #pissed #angry #sad #break shit #why couldnt have had a great mom #i made my own family #my own family #strong mom #mavelee

[lilleeaa]

“It is hard to stop loving the ocean, even after it has left you gasping.”

— Sarah Kay