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l-e-morgan-author · 14 hours

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Writing Newsletter #3: May 2024

Still not figured out website hosting, so this is still on here. I also haven't edited the two stories I plan to provide as a signup gift, so that's not ready yet. Anyway, if you want to be on the taglist for this monthly newsletter, say the word and I'll add you.

Writing update

As of yesterday, I finished drafting Patience, Changing. I wrote Hannah's death and it was hard, but I think what I have, while not particularly good, is a building block for the next draft. It's been a lot of fun, and now I'm putting away the project as a whole, ideally for at least a month. I have a lot of fragments as well as the main draft and novellas; they'll need some tidying, and various bits will probably be worked into longer pieces, but I want to give myself a break from the whole project. Word count wise, the novel itself clocks in at 84k (was planned to be 81k), and the total word count is 144k, having added around 29k since last month.

I had originally intended to go back to Metamorphosis of a Girl (Hadassah's story) once I was done with this, but there's a whump challenge I want to write for and the only one that will satisfy that is Hands Made for Gentleness. I'm considering making that my main project, at least for now, and also starting to work on To Kindle a Flame in the background again. I had conversations the other day that made me reread a scene; I unexpectedly really liked what I had, and the writing wasn't as clunky as I'd expected. I'm considering scrapping the 2020 draft completely and working solely from the 2021 draft and the notes I've made since.

I have worked a little (to the tune of 3k) on Hands Made for Gentleness this month. Looking back at my statistics, I actually wrote the most I've written for it so far in February 2023, when I wrote just shy of 10k. I always think I've written more for it than I have, partly because of how important every single word is to it. I need to write more downtime between them, I think; it's always so intense, and while that's kind of necessary to the kind of book it is, it's in its present state not something I personally would sit down and read in one sitting. I think I need to dial the intensity back just a little, so that the moments that are intense can really hit the spot. That's probably a revising-me point, though. I'm missing so much from this draft that will need to be added in later drafts; indeed I'm starting to be slightly nervous about the idea of tackling it, because of the sheer number of notes I've left for myself already, and I'm only 33k into the draft (plus a few thousand of assorted other stuff, including the prequel I want to revise at some point.... it takes it up to a combined total of 41k).

Reading update

I've been reading a handful of memoirs this month. First I read A Grief Observed (reread, specifically for handling Hannah's death in Patience, Changing), then Bones: Anorexia, OCD and Me (first time read, and I won't be rereading it: I don't recommend it), Girl, Interrupted (not as good as its popularity would suggest to me), and As I Disappear... (a very short poetry thing). There were also a few that didn't get onto my goodreads because I gave up on reading them before I actually bought them (all ED focused). I'm currently reading the same books as I was reading last month (Cry of the Raven, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, and Walking on Water) as well as starting a reread of Pat of Silver Bush. Thinking of rereading Pride and Prejudice presently.

Ramble

Oh uh. I note that last time I wrote that my mental health has been comparatively amazing lately, which is... still true? Which is Impressive? I still need to work out motivation and that kind of thing which I'm not very good at still, but oh well. I guess I'm still as forgetful as I was. I realised recently I haven't been posting on my website all year. I need to do that more.

Drabble

As We Sail Into Hell

“I’ll go anywhere you go, so that makes us equal.”

“‘You are a gentleman, I am a gentleman’s daughter, so far we are equal,’” she misquoted cheerfully. “The fact that we’ll follow each other into—well, anywhere—doesn’t negate the fact that you have to choose where we’re walking right now.”

Nathan sighed. “I wanted you to make a decision,” he complained.

“I know. I shan’t. I know your tricks.”

“At this rate we’ll never get married because neither of us will ask the other.”

She grinned. “That’s your job. If you really want it.” But her expression was merry.

Photo

A collage from yesterday's walk. Ignore that I shared it on my main yesterday. The weird beastie in the bottom left is a wombat.

Fun fact

I title all my drabbles by either writing them off a song directly or by thinking of a lyric from a song. This one's from Durham Town, by Roger Whittaker.

#writing newsletter #my writing #writers on tumblr

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l-e-morgan-author · 1 day

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Announcing the Chrumblr Whump Challenge for May!

You don't have to be in any way affiliated with chrumblr to participate (or even know what it is)! This is just to set this challenge apart from the many other whump challenges doubtless happening during any given month.

Please reblog this post to share it! We'd love to see what you create. Once you post your masterpieces, just tag this blog (@chrumblr-whumblr), and we'll reblog your post. If you're concerned your post has slipped through the cracks, feel free to ping again or send in an ask (the askbox will open up presently).

If you don't like any day's prompt, or simply want to do more prompts, feel free to substitute the alternative prompts at any point. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ping this blog, and give it a follow so you can see and contribute to the sweet sweet whump.

Below the cut is the prompts in plain language.

Daily Prompt List

Blindfolding

Kneeling

Carrying

Watching while loved one is hurt

Forced to obey

Tied to a chair

Blame/guilt

Blood covered hands

Mind control

Whipping

On the run

Manipulation

Panic attack

Traumatic touch aversion

Memory loss

Begging

Touch starved

Shaking hands

Asphyxiation

Came back wrong

Exhaustion

Gagged

Concussion

Drowning

Stabbing

Wiping away tears

Hiding it

Scars

Infection

Shaking voice

Humiliation

Alternative Prompt List

Secret caretaking

Shouting

Abandoned

Misunderstanding

Betrayal

Stress position

Hypothermia

Altered mental state

Kidnapped

No anaesthetic

#I will be writing this over on my main probably #...Unless I get too shy and write it just for myself #hands made for gentleness #<- of course it had to be Vaniah. who else could it be.#Taking name suggestions for his companion who is shortly to come into the actual story but will definitely be showing up in the whump #female name is the only requirement here #I'm quite excited to come to this point of the story because her entrance kicks off a major plot point #She knew Vaniah back in his evil cop days #And I expect those days are where the whump will come in to it #But we'll find out

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l-e-morgan-author · 2 days

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@pilgrimsofworship

@stealingmyplaceinthesun

@noisette-tornade

@graycedelfin

@choasuqeen

The draft of Patience, Changing is completed! Clocking in at 84,261 words of an estimated total of 81,000, I expect the edited draft to end up longer, not shorter, because it's by and large a pretty clean draft and definitely needs some extra scenes in various places (though a handful might be cut). The extra scenes need to deal more with church, building up the community around her and balancing the pacing of the last few chapters. I expected to add another couple of scenes to deal with the grief, but then as I wrote it, the last scene was very clearly a Last Scene, so I'll probably leave it like that. It has a bit of a Wintergirls feel, honestly, and I leaned in to that. And yeah, the last few lines are cliche, and the baptism thing I threw in on a whim, but hey. It's a start.

Time passed. Patience grew older, day by day, and her grief receded a little. She spent time with friends and family and the people who loved her. She learned to trust in God, learned to stop being quite so terrified of everything. Day by day, her life changed for the better. She had Rhona, and that was enough, though they got into bitter arguments at times, and she had her parents, and she had her friends. And she had church; and when, a few months later, she asked to be baptised, everyone rejoiced with her. She thought the angels in heaven rejoiced, too. At least that was what the Bible said, and she had learned to trust the Bible more than she trusted anyone or anything else. She still knitted a great deal--though crocheting was coming in to the mix, too, more and more often, like a second love only partially replacing the first--but she did not hide so much, and the upheaval Rhona's coming had caused was replaced by a deep peace: or enough peace to get by. And there was hope of new peace, new love, new work. Life wasn't easy. But it was worth it.

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l-e-morgan-author · 2 days

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PSA to all historical fiction/fantasy writers:

A SEAMSTRESS, in a historical sense, is someone whose job is sewing. Just sewing. The main skill involved here is going to be putting the needle into an out of the fabric. They’re usually considered unskilled workers, because everyone can sew, right? (Note: yes, just about everyone could sew historically. And I mean everyone.) They’re usually going to be making either clothes that aren’t fitted (like shirts or shifts or petticoats) or things more along the lines of linens (bedsheets, handkerchiefs, napkins, ect.). Now, a decent number of people would make these things at home, especially in more rural areas, since they don’t take a ton of practice, but they’re also often available ready-made so it’s not an uncommon job. Nowadays it just means someone whose job is to sew things in general, but this was not the case historically. Calling a dressmaker a seamstress would be like asking a portrait painter to paint your house

A DRESSMAKER (or mantua maker before the early 1800s) makes clothing though the skill of draping (which is when you don’t use as many patterns and more drape the fabric over the person’s body to fit it and pin from there (although they did start using more patterns in the early 19th century). They’re usually going to work exclusively for women, since menswear is rarely made through this method (could be different in a fantasy world though). Sometimes you also see them called “gown makers”, especially if they were men (like tailors advertising that that could do both. Mantua-maker was a very feminized term, like seamstress. You wouldn’t really call a man that historically). This is a pretty new trade; it only really sprung up in the later 1600s, when the mantua dress came into fashion (hence the name).

TAILORS make clothing by using the method of patterning: they take measurements and use those measurements to draw out a 2D pattern that is then sewed up into the 3D item of clothing (unlike the dressmakers, who drape the item as a 3D piece of clothing originally). They usually did menswear, but also plenty of pieces of womenswear, especially things made similarly to menswear: riding habits, overcoats, the like. Before the dressmaking trade split off (for very interesting reason I suggest looking into. Basically new fashion required new methods that tailors thought were beneath them), tailors made everyone’s clothes. And also it was not uncommon for them to alter clothes (dressmakers did this too). Staymakers are a sort of subsect of tailors that made corsets or stays (which are made with tailoring methods but most of the time in urban areas a staymaker could find enough work so just do stays, although most tailors could and would make them).

Tailors and dressmakers are both skilled workers. Those aren’t skills that most people could do at home. Fitted things like dresses and jackets and things would probably be made professionally and for the wearer even by the working class (with some exceptions of course). Making all clothes at home didn’t really become a thing until the mid Victorian era.

And then of course there are other trades that involve the skill of sewing, such as millinery (not just hats, historically they did all kinds of women’s accessories), trimming for hatmaking (putting on the hat and and binding and things), glovemaking (self explanatory) and such.

TLDR: seamstress, dressmaker, and tailor are three very different jobs with different skills and levels of prestige. Don’t use them interchangeably and for the love of all that is holy please don’t call someone a seamstress when they’re a dressmaker

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l-e-morgan-author · 2 days

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The draft of Patience, Changing is completed! Clocking in at 84,261 words of an estimated total of 81,000, I expect the edited draft to end up longer, not shorter, because it's by and large a pretty clean draft and definitely needs some extra scenes in various places (though a handful might be cut). The extra scenes need to deal more with church, building up the community around her and balancing the pacing of the last few chapters. I expected to add another couple of scenes to deal with the grief, but then as I wrote it, the last scene was very clearly a Last Scene, so I'll probably leave it like that. It has a bit of a Wintergirls feel, honestly, and I leaned in to that. And yeah, the last few lines are cliche, and the baptism thing I threw in on a whim, but hey. It's a start.

Time passed. Patience grew older, day by day, and her grief receded a little. She spent time with friends and family and the people who loved her. She learned to trust in God, learned to stop being quite so terrified of everything. Day by day, her life changed for the better. She had Rhona, and that was enough, though they got into bitter arguments at times, and she had her parents, and she had her friends. And she had church; and when, a few months later, she asked to be baptised, everyone rejoiced with her. She thought the angels in heaven rejoiced, too. At least that was what the Bible said, and she had learned to trust the Bible more than she trusted anyone or anything else. She still knitted a great deal--though crocheting was coming in to the mix, too, more and more often, like a second love only partially replacing the first--but she did not hide so much, and the upheaval Rhona's coming had caused was replaced by a deep peace: or enough peace to get by. And there was hope of new peace, new love, new work. Life wasn't easy. But it was worth it.

#will tag people and post after going for a walk presently #patience changing #patience shepherd #rhona shepherd

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l-e-morgan-author · 8 days

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“Life is—I try and think, or remember, or dream, that life is worth it.” She smiled. “It is. It is worth it. Even through the stones, even the ones that get into your shoes and you carry for far too long, it is still a path of beauty. There is sunlight, and there are birds. There are hands outstretched to help you, and there are people who love you.” He looked at her. “There are your hands: and your love.” She drew back and put her hands in his. Then she kissed him. “All my love, all my faith, all my hope.”

Writing, of Hands Made for Gentleness, is still going on intermittently while I write Patience, Changing (which is up to 81k, by the way! a few scenes out from the end, and it's a decently clean draft too). I was very pleased with this particular excerpt, so I figured I'd share it.

I'm nearly up to 40k in total draft, including nearly 33k chronological writings.

#hands made for gentleness

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l-e-morgan-author · 15 days

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Whoops I slipped and started writing another novella exploring what would have happened if Hannah hadn't died in the third act of Patience, Changing. Its working title is "If Help Was Found". The letter I shared recently (ish; time is fake) is the prologue, and I've written another letter as the epilogue. I'm excited to write this; taking a break from Patience, Changing to write it, and hopefully once the break is over I'll know more about how to handle grief like that. I've barely been making progress, though what I have been writing is good. I just don't know how to write grief.

Ignore the fact that I also started writing Yet Another novella a few days ago, about the reaction of one of Hannah's friends to her death. I have too many novellas in this story, but I love them all. I'd had tentative thoughts about a Single Novel And A Single Collection but I suspect that all the stories I want to tell cannot be contained within that, so who knows what will happen. Turns out I love Hannah and I love her friends.

If you're curious, "If Help Was Found" begins like this:

In many ways, it wasn’t until she was discharged that the real battle began. In hospital she was sick enough that several months were practically blotted out of her memory ever after, but as she got better, the demons clung close as if they did not want to let her go.

#a quiet patience #if help was found #hannah shepherd #I didn't even mention the novella I'm working on in bits and pieces about her a year earlier #I have too many wips lolllllll

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l-e-morgan-author · 20 days

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863 words about Hannah, a small slice-of-life piece about her favourite part of her job working in the kitchen of an aged care.

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l-e-morgan-author · 27 days

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Patience, Changing

@pilgrimsofworship

@stealingmyplaceinthesun

@noisette-tornade

@graycedelfin

@choasuqeen

Patience, Changing has hit 75k, with a total of 123k of various Patience stories! I think the draft is going to run longer than I expected; I doubt I've only got 6k left in this story, but I know I can condense some of the earlier stuff and rejig the pacing later.

An excerpt:

The phone rang out again. “I’m going to ring the police,” said Jude with decision. “And get them to send an ambulance too.” “Ring triple zero, not just a wellness check. Whatever this is—it isn’t good,” she said. “I know she’d answer, if—if she could.” “I will.” He rang, gave the address in a sharp, clipped tone. Told them that he wasn’t sure but that he knew she was unwell. Convinced them to send an ambulance. “And now we wait,” he said, once he’d hung up. Patience felt cold all over. She wanted to say that she was scared, too, but that would do no good. Nothing she could do would do any good. She hoped and prayed very hard that Aunt Hannah was okay. Or okay enough, anyway. Like she’d said the other day, “Well enough to go on with.” “How long will it be?” asked Mum. Patience began pacing restlessly. “I don’t know,” said Dad. “Should I serve up dinner now, or do we wait?” He hesitated. “Serve up dinner, I think. Though I don’t have an appetite. We can always put the stuff in the fridge and come back to it later. Besides, Hannah will probably be in hospital and we might visit her.” “Okay.” Today they ate dinner in sober silence. Every motion, every small sound was audible. The family jumped. And just as Patience, slowest of them all, finished her meal, the phone rang. Her father ran to the phone, snatched it up. “Hello? Oh—okay. How is she? Is Hannah okay?” Then he uttered a great cry and collapsed to the ground, gripping the phone so hard his knuckles were white. “No—no!” he cried. “Please God, not that!” Patience stared and stared and didn’t move or breathe. Her father was sobbing as she had never seen him sob before. The call ended. He laid down the phone and folded in on himself. “Jude… what did they say?” asked Mum quietly. Very quietly. She sounded scared. “They found her,” he said brokenly. “They had to break in. She was without a pulse, and had been dead for several hours. They suspect heart failure.”

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l-e-morgan-author · 27 days

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Patience, Changing has hit 75k, with a total of 123k of various Patience stories! I think the draft is going to run longer than I expected; I doubt I've only got 6k left in this story, but I know I can condense some of the earlier stuff and rejig the pacing later.

An excerpt:

The phone rang out again. “I’m going to ring the police,” said Jude with decision. “And get them to send an ambulance too.” “Ring triple zero, not just a wellness check. Whatever this is—it isn’t good,” she said. “I know she’d answer, if—if she could.” “I will.” He rang, gave the address in a sharp, clipped tone. Told them that he wasn’t sure but that he knew she was unwell. Convinced them to send an ambulance. “And now we wait,” he said, once he’d hung up. Patience felt cold all over. She wanted to say that she was scared, too, but that would do no good. Nothing she could do would do any good. She hoped and prayed very hard that Aunt Hannah was okay. Or okay enough, anyway. Like she’d said the other day, “Well enough to go on with.” “How long will it be?” asked Mum. Patience began pacing restlessly. “I don’t know,” said Dad. “Should I serve up dinner now, or do we wait?” He hesitated. “Serve up dinner, I think. Though I don’t have an appetite. We can always put the stuff in the fridge and come back to it later. Besides, Hannah will probably be in hospital and we might visit her.” “Okay.” Today they ate dinner in sober silence. Every motion, every small sound was audible. The family jumped. And just as Patience, slowest of them all, finished her meal, the phone rang. Her father ran to the phone, snatched it up. “Hello? Oh—okay. How is she? Is Hannah okay?” Then he uttered a great cry and collapsed to the ground, gripping the phone so hard his knuckles were white. “No—no!” he cried. “Please God, not that!” Patience stared and stared and didn’t move or breathe. Her father was sobbing as she had never seen him sob before. The call ended. He laid down the phone and folded in on himself. “Jude… what did they say?” asked Mum quietly. Very quietly. She sounded scared. “They found her,” he said brokenly. “They had to break in. She was without a pulse, and had been dead for several hours. They suspect heart failure.”

#milestone #tw death #patience shepherd #hannah shepherd

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l-e-morgan-author · 1 month

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Writing Newsletter #2: April 2024

Still not figured out website hosting, so this is still on here. I also haven't edited the two stories I plan to provide as a signup gift, so that's not ready yet. Anyway, if you want to be on the taglist for this monthly newsletter, say the word and I'll add you.

Writing update

My main project is still Patience, Changing. The mental health aspect to it has been more pronounced in the last few weeks, although my writing has been variably swift. I’ve enjoyed getting to know my characters, and am eager to work on more that fleshes them out after I’ve finished with this; I’ll probably write a novella about both Connie and Hannah at some point. Novellas are an incredibly freeing medium: they can be filled with Plot, or they can just be a whole lot of vibes packed together. They won’t be the Best Novella Ever, of course, but it does give a chance to explore vibes without necessarily having a significant amount of plot going on.

I’m getting closer and closer to Hannah’s death. I know I’m going to have to go back and write her properly into the story, since she barely occurs and her death is going to have a significant effect on Patience. I’m not looking forward to writing it, but anyway. It has to be.

As far as word count goes, I’m up to 115k total, being around 35k written since last month. Most of that is on the novel, with some drabble work (some of them shared and some put in the novel so effectively serving double duty) and a couple of specific scenes from different planned novellas (like the one I wrote for the Furious Fiction that didn’t get anywhere but I’m pretty happy with—that’s 500 words or fewer). My momentum is not as strongly forward carrying as it was, but I think that’s just something that varies anyway. I’ll be glad when I finish this novel; I hope to finish writing it this month and then do further work on novellas while I let it rest, or perhaps back to the Inklings story I am tentatively titling Metamorphosis of a Girl, Hadassah’s story. I could go back to Hands Made for Gentleness, but that may be darker than I should be looking at at present. I’m not entirely sure what this month will bring, hence.

Reading update

Since last month, I’ve read a bit more of Walking on Water and Cry of the Raven. I’m loving both of them. I’ve also completed Wintergirls (a reread—an excellent though disturbing book), Billabong Adventurers (reread—one of my favourite books), Billabong’s Daughter (reread—also one of my favourites), The Sound of Music (another reread—and one I absolutely loved, more than I expected) and Captain Jim (another reread—the Billabong books again).

So all of the books I’ve read recently have been rereads, but I’m really enjoying them. I’m currently reading From Billabong to London, Cry of the Raven, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, and Walking on Water.

Ramble

Oh hello, it’s the ramble section again. My mental health has been comparatively amazing lately, which helps with some things but means that I’m not doing as much “aaaaa I’m feeling So Bad let me Write The Pain Away”, which is… both good and bad. It’ll take a bit to adjust to feeling Like This (positively), and I’m still struggling with motivation and all that (in part because, interestingly enough, a lot of my motivation in the past has been stress-related, and now that I’m not as stressed (either that or Too Stressed) I’m not sure how to motivate myself).

I’m sure I’ll figure something out here presently. Anyway, please contact me and let me know what works best or what you’d most like to see! I need the advice.

Drabble

I Will Be With You

I need someone to guide me, Connie wrote in her diary. I need someone who I can believe to tell me that it’s okay to care about myself. I know all the stuff the psych says about being worthy of attention and love but I don’t believe it. I need someone to believe in me, I think. But I don’t know how to find someone who’ll do that in a way I won’t just discard what they say like I do so many people. I need someone who’ll be there. But then again—they say the sun rises every day.

No photo of Ransom this time, sorry!

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l-e-morgan-author · 1 month

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The story is, in summary, about an autistic girl (Hadassah) who is isolated and considered strange by everyone around her. A short time into the story, she's sent through a portal. Nobody has any idea what lies beyond, but it's their tribute to the people beyond, who once came through and decimated their land and promised to do it again if they didn't get tributes at a regular time. Beyond the portal, however, she finds a people whose warlike days are long since past and who are eager to welcome the regular additions to their population. There, she finds a found family and that's basically the rest of the story. It's about acceptance both from within and without.

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l-e-morgan-author · 1 month

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Patience, Changing

@pilgrimsofworship

@stealingmyplaceinthesun

@noisette-tornade

@graycedelfin

@choasuqeen

A scene from Patience, Changing. In which Hannah comes and visits Patience in hospital, and it's clear that Something is terribly wrong. Bookended by diary entries from Hannah. Trigger warning for referenced anorexia and all that that entails.

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l-e-morgan-author · 1 month

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A scene from Patience, Changing. In which Hannah comes and visits Patience in hospital, and it's clear that Something is terribly wrong. Bookended by diary entries from Hannah. Trigger warning for referenced anorexia and all that that entails.

#tw ed #patience changing #patience shepherd #hannah shepherd

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l-e-morgan-author · 1 month

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Patience taglist

@pilgrimsofworship

@stealingmyplaceinthesun

@noisette-tornade

@graycedelfin

@choasuqeen

Draft cover for the on-newsletter-signup free stories which I haven't finished editing yet. (So you can't have them yet; I'll finish editing them to my satisfaction before I open up my email newsletter.)

Further ramble below; it got kind of long. First about what these stories are about, then more rambling about my current works-in-progress and specifically aspects of Patience, Changing that I'm enjoying. Might recycle some of this for the next newsletter tbh.

A quick and not-edited summary of each story:

Ever Changing, Ever Near - Hadassah is different to everyone else, but despite that finds great joy in the changing seasons.

A Fragile Solace - Hadassah and Nem are friends. Despite what happens after, she treasures the friendship that they have.

Both stories were entered to (different) local competitions and were highly commended. I can't give an estimated story length because at least A Fragile Solace requires a bunch of editing that may lengthen it. Since I no longer have a word count requirement because I'm not planning on submitting them to any other competitions, I can go ham on them.

In case you don't know who Hadassah is, Hadassah is from the 2022(? maybe '23) Inklings challenge, which I wrote about 8k of. I was Team Lewis, portal fantasy. A very rough summary is that Hadassah is an autistic girl in a neurotypical world, one of the peasants of that world and chosen to be sent through a portal. Nobody knows what lies beyond. For Hadassah, what lies beyond is found family such as she hasn't experienced her entire life.

I found getting into her head unreasonably hard at the time, which is why I wanted to write stories about her, and why I haven't finished drafting her story. With more understanding of autistic people and also myself than I had then, I expect that when I get back to that properly I'll find it a lot easier to write.

I also intend to edit The Patience of Hope to be another newsletter freebie - the edited version, I mean. I intend to leave the first draft up on my website indefinitely, even if an edited version is published as part of something else (such as A Quiet Patience, though with the number of novellas I've got planned, that might be quite long...). But that's for a little way down the road, not yet.

As for a general update on writing generally, I've written a little bit more of Hands Made for Gentleness, but not much. That will require a lot of working with it once the first draft is done, but I've written up a rough outline of the rest of the main story beats, and I have a clearer idea where I'm going. I'm ideally going to finish drafting Patience, Changing before I really get back to that, which is about 20k away (yay!). I'm thoroughly into the third act, figuring out I need to know my characters better so the third act will require a good deal of rewriting, even though the bones are good. I'm pleased with the balance of characters, and at times even though I'm going "Hmm this needs work", I can switch that off and just work on it. I've been writing drabbles every day for this month, and currently I'm one (1) day behind. The drabbles have been helpful, providing scene ideas I can flesh out into full scenes, so they might be a bit janky in context, but I can edit that later.

I've really enjoyed two characters I didn't intend to include in this manuscript: Hannah (Patience's aunt) and Connie (who Patience meets in hospital). Hannah is a symbol of the seriousness of anorexia, and I am not looking forward to writing her death. At present the scene I'm writing is set on the 19th of November, 2018, and Hannah dies on the 16th of December, 2018. She's already written the letter to Patience, as well as the anonymous letter Patience doesn't realise is from her and which needs rewriting. But she has to die and it will tear my heart out to write her, though I've got to read at least a good chunk of A Grief Observed (C. S. Lewis) before I write about that. At present her death is set for the third last chapter, but I expect to rearrange things - events that I thought would work for two chapters turned out I'll need to significantly rewrite to get to even one chapter, so I'll probably use those events to close the second act rather than close the second act and open the third act as well, and therefore rearrange things to give enough space for Hannah's death. If I go over my planned word count in these chapters that's fine; whatever works. I just don't want to go under.

Having the 3k aim has been really good, because some of the time it's forced me to write 'filler' that I reread and am convinced I'll keep in, and sometimes it's kept me to only that long which is good practise too.

Oh, and also! The other character I've enjoyed. Connie. Connie's in hospital following a suicide attempt, but the psych ward's full up and she's not considered at high risk so she's in a general paeds ward, which is where she meets Patience. She isn't particularly forthcoming about why she's in, and Patience respects that. She suspects but is only told right at the end:

“You make me brave,” she said to Patience, just before she was transferred. “I came in here with a suicide attempt and you have made me discover I want to live. Live! When living has been a slow death all this time. You make me want to live. I wasn’t going to make it and I was okay with that. Now I’m going to fight, because of you.”

They keep in touch afterwards, and probably when I edit The Patience of Hope I'll include a scene with Connie in it. Because just as Hannah has to die, Connie has to live. I love the way both of these characters add to Patience's journey, but without trivialising her own very real issues. That's definitely something I'll have to do an edit pass to make sure I'm not doing, because yes, in the grand scheme of things Patience's hangups are very small but to her they're huge. Which is why I held off on writing this story for a good five years, and I'm terribly glad I did, because this story is far better than it would have been years ago.

Anyway. I'm rambling. All this to say that while I'm struggling a bit with writing it, Patience is still going swimmingly. I anticipate finishing the draft either by end of this month (stretch goal) or next month (realistic goal). Then I can dive back into Hands Made for Gentleness and maybe plotting The Time Travelling Midwife and/or Hadassah's story on the side.

I'm also having a fantastic time with Patience and Nathan's interactions at thirteen/fourteen:

“You’ll get through it,” he said. “In Christ, Patience. In Christ.” She smiled at him. He was very dear to her, standing there awkwardly and smiling his dear awkward smile back.

#all the other taglists I could use for this are covered by this one honestly #only chaos is on the Inklings/Hadassah taglist

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