ilysmistg

[ilysmistg]

moved to twitter lol bye

might revisit someday though who knows

[ilysmistg]

moving my thoughts-dump to twitter follow me there @notfeelingluci

[ilysmistg]

trying to convince myself that i don't miss him, i miss the feeling

[ilysmistg]

i'm feeling so antisocial today, like literally 0 energy to talk to anyone and i feel rlly bad,,,, like how do u explain to people that you don't feel like communicating today??

[ilysmistg]

in other news my gym grind is paying off and i may be getting an ass for summer how cool is tHAT

[ilysmistg]

no because i literally know that i'm the best that he ever had and i think he's starting to realize it BUT I HAVE TO HOLD MYSELF BACK TO NOT GO RUNNING BACK TO HIM BUT I WANT TO because i miss him too UGH I HATE MYSELF

my best friend doesn't like him - is that not clear enough of a sign for me???????

[ilysmistg]

oml the fact that i held myself back for so long from texting him that i miss him aND NOW ITS HIM THAT TELLS ME HE MISSES ME HA

law of attraction rlly works huh

[ilysmistg]

noone:

my brain in the middle of every month randomly: okayyy it's time to be sad now for a few days for no reason!

#????? #ok #idk #seasonal depression #ugh

[ilysmistg]

whyyyyyy am i being so unmotivated and unproductive this is not good

[ilysmistg]

mONDAY LEFT ME BROKEN TUESDAY I WAS THROUGH WITH HOPING WEDNESDAY MY EMPTY ARMS WERE OPEN THURSDAY WAITING FOR LOVE WAITING FOR LOVE

[ilysmistg]

i'm so unmotivateeeeeed aaaaaAAAAAA

[ilysmistg]

the fact that my parents might be getting a divorce while i'm on my exchange year just proves that i was the only thing keeping them together & they actually can't bear each other :D

#parents #divorce #problematic household

[ilysmistg]

i'm 2000km away from everyone i love.

i gained 4 kilos with 1.5 months and look fat.

the relationship of my parents is hanging by a thread.

one of my friends treated me poorly and i can't bring myself to confront them about it.

i am not doing the assingments i'm supposed to do via distance-learning.

i'm struggling with languages to speak.

i want to get drunk. really bad.

but tomorrow will be 1 week since i decided to start living a healthier life, got a gym membership & started eating cleaner & sleeping better.

and i'm feeling better about myself :)

#lifestyle change #school #health #mental health #happiness #exchange year

[ilysmistg]

my family tires me so much.

it's literally emotionally and mentally draining to spend time with them because all they do is remind me how big of a disappointment i am.

#trauma #toxic mother #family #love hate relationship

[ilysmistg]

u can say that he's ur "boy best friend" or whatever but he still won't text u at 4 am saying he can't sleep because of sleep terrors. idk if u even knew he had them.

u call him ur "boy best friend" but he calls u annoying behind ur back.

he's ur "boy best friend" but he rarely interacts with u.

ironic.

#boy best friend #pick me girl #bruh

[ilysmistg]

i have 2 missing assignments that i've been "doing" for the past month but i simply can't find the motivation to do them and i don't know what to do.

they're both essays and i've planned speedrunning them for a while now but idk what's wrong with me i can't bring myself to write them.

i think i'll do them today tho, i really should and it would bring some peace to me

#quarantine #onlineschool #missing assignments #ugh

[ilysmistg]

aaaaAAAAA i got my skateboard in the mail yesterday and landed my first ollie today!!!!! what!! the!! fuck!!

i'm so happy:')

#skate #skateboard #skateeverydamnday #hype