iflailfic

[iflailfic]

@astarions-cherry-juice-box Ever heard "Cool motive, still murder?"

Regardless of his reasons, Astarion does commit harm. He literally approves of killing a squirrel by punting it against a tree—he revels in an instance of animal cruelty. Is that a trauma response, too? Is that excusable? And if finding animal cruelty fun isn't a trauma response, well, that's still not a very nice thing for someone to approve of, is it? You might even say it's "bad." You cannot reasonably connote harming others positively, and at the absolute best, trauma is an explanation for Astarion's actions. It in no way justifies them.

"No amount of trauma exempts a traumatized person from being held accountable for hurting others, [and] to utilize trauma as an excuse for harmful behavior avoids responsibility for one’s actions." - Read more about this here.

This leads us to the crux of this thread: You're not mad that @autistichalsin said Astarion was a "bad person" (which, again, never happened. @autistichalsin only commented on a difference in characterization); you're mad because the mere suggestion that Astarion might be anything but a Cinnamon Roll™ made you feel cognitive dissonance, and you don't have any real grounds on which to defend him. Your own interpretation of the original post is what you find upsetting.

So you latched onto the context—trauma—and used it to create a straw man argument to try to undermine anyone who dared to make you think about the fact that, actually, Astarion might not be a very nice guy; to make it so that anyone who implies Astarion has done anything wrong ever in his life is in the wrong, because it means they're holding his trauma against him, and that would be inexcusable, right? But here's the thing: That's not what's happening. You can't make it that black and white.

No one is saying he can't heal. No one is saying he can't make better choices. No one is saying he's incapable of caring for others. And, most importantly, no one is saying his trauma makes him a bad person. But using his trauma to excuse his choices as "uncontrollable" not only perpetuates the dangerous idea that trauma is a fair justification for abuse, it's nothing less than an injustice to both Astarion and anyone who has gone through trauma and made the choice not to hurt others.

Just some food for thought.

Astarion's response to his trauma being "I was hurt so why should I care if anyone else is hurt" while Halsin's is "I was hurt so I will make sure no one else is ever hurt again" is just chef's kiss

[iflailfic]

I can assure you, I'm not trying to cover up anything. I actually asked you to point out which part of the post passes any sort of judgment on either of them. You haven't done so, so I'll invite you once again: Feel free to point out exactly how @autistichalsin promoted Astarion's reaction as bad and Halsin's as good.

Astarion's response to his trauma being "I was hurt so why should I care if anyone else is hurt" while Halsin's is "I was hurt so I will make sure no one else is ever hurt again" is just chef's kiss

[iflailfic]

This exchange is so utterly astounding to me that I can't not say something.

@astarions-cherry-juice-box, let's break down the post, shall we?

"Astarion's response to his trauma being 'I was hurt so why should I care if anyone else is hurt'" = objective observation.

"while Halsin's is 'I was hurt so I will make sure no one else is ever hurt again'" = objective observation.

"Chef's kiss" = Used in reference to someone or something outstanding (definition from Oxford Languages).

Aaaaall together, @autistichalsin is saying that, in the context of the story, having Halsin's AND Astarion's differing responses to trauma is great writing and interesting to explore.

What is there to be salty about? There is no moral judgment passed on either character. There is no claim that one is good or bad. There is no shaming. Please feel free to point out where exactly @autistichalsin expressed otherwise, because I certainly don't see it.

If you're trolling, well done. You've certainly achieved your objective. If you're not trolling, what are you trying to achieve? What purpose is there to arguing with someone about their own feelings toward the game, ESPECIALLY when at its most reductive, the post is saying "character differences are cool?" I'm genuinely curious.

Astarion's response to his trauma being "I was hurt so why should I care if anyone else is hurt" while Halsin's is "I was hurt so I will make sure no one else is ever hurt again" is just chef's kiss

[iflailfic]

Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them

I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.

In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:

(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)

Perfectionism (most common)

What it looks like:

You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"

Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.

Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?

I hate everything I write

Cringing while writing

My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer

Things that can help:

Give yourself permission to suck

Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft

Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later

People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later

Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing

Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase

Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail

It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page

Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)

What it looks like:

Head empty, no ideas

What do I even write about???

I don't have a plot, I just have an image

Want to write but no story to write

Things that can help:

Google writing prompts

If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out

Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that

It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing

Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them

If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later

Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)

What it looks like:

I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt

Writing words feels like pulling teeth

I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted

I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window

Things that can help:

Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.

Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or text-to-speech

Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score

Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group

Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph

Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer

Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)

What it looks like:

I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop

I don't even know where to start

I love writing, but I can never seem to get started

I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)

Can't find the time or energy

Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)

Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying

Things that can help:

Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started

Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)

Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person

Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement

The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))

What it looks like:

I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene

I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going

I don't think I'm doing this right

What's an outline?

Drowning in documents

This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)

Things That Can Help:

Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working

A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go

If you don't have an outline, write one

If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it

You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural

Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them

Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers

Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough

Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism

What it looks like:

Everything in boredom/understimulation

Everything in intimidation/procrastination

You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism

Things that can help:

If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment

Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)

Seek out neurodiverse and neurodiverse writing communities for advice and support

Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch

Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)

And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness

What it looks like:

You have symptoms of burnout or depression

Struggling with all things, not just writing

It's more than a lack of motivation- the spark is just dead

Things that can help:

Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.

Seek professional help

If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic

[iflailfic]

Importantly, this implies that Metatron is playing the role of Mr. Wickham. It's Wickham's dishonesty and misrepresentations that lead Elizabeth to reject Darcy—and if the parallels continue, it would follow that Metatron is misrepresenting his intentions in recruiting Aziraphale. To what endgame, I have no idea, as Wickham's vendetta was personal, and to my knowledge, Metatron doesn't have any clear motivation to want to hurt Crowley, indirectly or otherwise.

What we do know is that, despite his otherwise "amiable" appearance, Wickham is a compulsive liar. But the impression he gives of charm and good manners is exactly what allows him to so easily pull the wool over everyone else's—namely Elizabeth's—eyes. And Derek Jacobi is such an EXCELLENT casting choice to pull off something similar with Metatron. His voice, his face, his manner in the show all so easily draw the audience (and Aziraphale) in as someone who's incredibly likeable. Maybe too likeable?

Personally, I'm on Crowley's side here: that Heaven, and particularly Metatron, aren't to be trusted.

So do I have to single-handledly tell people that at the end of Volume II of Pride and Prejudice Lizzie has rejected Darcy's proposal and is about to learn the errors of her ways or

#good omens #pride and prejudice #good omens meta #ineffable husbands #good omens season 2 spoilers #crowly x aziraphale #crowley/aziraphale #good omens 2

[iflailfic]

#good omens #good omens 2 #no spoilers #a/c #crowly x aziraphale

[iflailfic]

From the OTW site, for reference:

This year’s election will be held August 11-14. It will open at 12:01am UTC on August 11 and close at 11:59pm UTC on August 14.

Audrey R., who’s running for the OTW board, is apparently also currently running for office. As a Republican

so uhhhhhh keep that in mind when you’re voting

#ao3 #otw board #otw elections

[iflailfic]

Countries that meet the requirements of the 2016 Paris Agreement

#good for her

[iflailfic]

Okay everyone, how long have you had your AO3 account, and how many pages do you have in your History???

#2013 #384 #i swear i do have a life

[iflailfic]

@jenetica deadass was going to send this to you and then I saw my name and GASPED

there HAS to be a reason for this

[iflailfic]

This fanfic I’m never going to write is really damn good.

[iflailfic]

I need some more practice drawing animals. Reblog this post with a photo of your pet (or one of your pets), and include their name as text (because if it’s just an image then it won’t show up usefully in my notifications), and I will draw the animal as appearing in the photo. This is applicable all throughout April 2021, so don’t worry that you’ve missed it so long as it’s still that month.

once you’ve gotten a drawing from me on this, you can request another one, and so on.

only one pet photo per request; if you have multiple pets, or multiple photos, pick which one you want done first, wait for me to finish it, then request the next.

it has to a photo of YOUR pet, not just some random picture you found online.

if I reblog this post, that means that I’ve drawn all the requests I’ve gotten, and I want some more.

#I LOVE IT THANK U 💜💜💜💜💜

[iflailfic]

Bubby in her raincoat!!!

I need some more practice drawing animals. Reblog this post with a photo of your pet (or one of your pets), and include their name as text (because if it’s just an image then it won’t show up usefully in my notifications), and I will draw the animal as appearing in the photo. This is applicable all throughout April 2021, so don’t worry that you’ve missed it so long as it’s still that month.

once you’ve gotten a drawing from me on this, you can request another one, and so on.

only one pet photo per request; if you have multiple pets, or multiple photos, pick which one you want done first, wait for me to finish it, then request the next.

it has to a photo of YOUR pet, not just some random picture you found online.

if I reblog this post, that means that I’ve drawn all the requests I’ve gotten, and I want some more.

[iflailfic]

bi person: i headcanon this character as bi

y'all: ok

bi person: cool so [male character] is dating [female character] and they're both bi

y'all: lol shut up hettie these characters aren't straight

bi person:

[iflailfic]

that ‘pakige?’ post but me, a couple hours after posting a fic, like ‘comints?’

[iflailfic]

A Brief Note from Our Sponsors: Us.

Greetings! If you’re here, it’s likely that you have questions or complaints about our decisions regarding the Calendar Girls series. An ominous start to this discussion, but truly, we welcome you! If you’re here, it means you have been emotionally impacted by our work and, even though this context isn’t the cheeriest, we are so, so grateful you (1) enjoyed our work enough to care about it, and (2) want to develop a better understanding of our process so that you can engage with Calendar Girl more.

First of all, we understand why you’d be upset with us! The cliffhanger at the end of AotM was a DOOZY and leaves a LOT of important questions unanswered, and we left you readers hanging for a LONG time. This post will, hopefully, assuage the worst of your fears without giving away too many plot points.

That being said, please note that there WILL be spoilers ahead. If you want to see the story unfold as we intended, do NOT read this post further. We will tell you now that the post addresses the Deadpool’s identity, our decisions regarding the construction of AotM and the final cliffhanger, our decisions regarding developing the sequel as a prequel, and our plans for future installments. And, naturally, the accusations of “queerbaiting.”

Let’s get started.

QUEERBAITING

It makes sense to open with the most serious issue, so let’s talk about queerbaiting. For anyone here who doesn’t know, queerbaiting is defined as the purposeful insinuation of a homosexual/queer relationship, only to backtrack/subvert that insinuation to avoid the queer relationship. For an example, see: Supernatural from Season 4 and on. 

We have received accusations of queerbaiting for about four years, based exclusively on the reveal at the end of the final chapter. Similarly, we have received complaints that we duped readers into reading hetfic. So, to get things out of the way, yes, Deadpool is Gwen. No, it’s not a trick of the light, or a mistake, or some odd resemblance. They are one and the same. HOWEVER, that does NOT mean that we have queerbaited anyone.

First of all, the tags of the story are honest, and they always have been. AotM is tagged as a “Multi” fic, meaning that there are relationships of multiple orientations involved, and it is tagged with Peter/Gwen as well as Peter/Wade. Careless Whisper is tagged as F/M. We have never suggested or implied that the story would exclusively be slash fiction. We actually left multiple hints that Wade enjoyed femininity, at least as a practice, if not an identity. iFlail and I discussed this issue at length as we wrote/edited AotM and carefully crafted the story with queerbaiting in mind. 

Peter is an unreliable narrator, he always has been, and he always will be. In AotM, Peter assumes Wade is a man and thus, for the purposes of the narrative, Wade is one. The truth, however, is less clean than that. We won’t get into the details here, but safe to say, gender is not binary, it is not permanent, and it is not inexorably linked to one’s biology. Wade has a complicated history and a complicated/unique sense of identity. We have always intended for him to be that way, just as we always intended for him to be notably, pointedly smaller than Peter. 

The accusations of queerbaiting and/or conning readers into reading “het” fic are exclusionary of the greater conversation of gender identity. It was, frankly, disheartening to see so many people assume heterosexuality based exclusively on the last word of AotM. We hope that our work will challenge readers to be more mindful of the expansive world of gender, and to avoid assuming that a specific kind of pairing might involve specific kinds of body parts.

If you have any questions or reservations about our queerbaiting at this point, you are either welcome to keep reading future installments of this work to learn more, or you are welcome to stop altogether. The choice is yours. 

CONSTRUCTING THE STORY ARC - PRESENT, PAST, AND FUTURE

With that hot-button topic out of the way, let’s talk about the greater concept of ending a story of a cliffhanger, our thoughts behind building this series, and our goals for future installments. 

The second part of the Calendar Girl series, Careless Whisper, was written first, and it comes first chronologically. I (Jenetica) initially worked on the story by myself, as an exploration into the concept of “Gwen becoming Deadpool” to see how it might play out. I ended up writing a story I loved, so I moved onto the next part of the story, set four years later. This ended up becoming Angel of the Morning. 

@iflailfic, a good IRL friend of mine from college, came onboard (after I wooed her with several stories worth of porn, as you can see through a jaunt through my posted works) to help me edit. She fell in love with AotM and, as we worked on first draft edits, she floated the idea of AotM coming before Careless Whisper. Honestly, I rejected the idea at first (not sure if she actually knows/remembers that part, lol), because I couldn’t fathom how we would be able to link the parts of the story together. But, eventually, I began to realize her point: AotM introduces our protagonists, develops the “current” world for the series, and has a more dynamic/engaging plot. 

The cliffhanger was a joke at first. My idea. I think my exact words were something like, “LOLOL what if we just ended on ‘GWEN?’ OMG IMAGINE hahahahaha.” But, as we continued to edit… it became the perfect way to end things. Anything that came after that point felt like trash. If we’d expanded any further, we ran the risk of falling headfirst into Part 3 and doubling the size of AotM. Let’s be real, the ending is, all waiting aside, an absolute nuclear bomb on the rest of the story. 

We talked about the likelihood of enraged readers. But we rationalized it by telling each other/ourselves that we had Careless Whisper written, so the wait wouldn’t be too killer.

Best laid plans.

I (Jenetica) take full responsibility for the time it took to start posting again. Over the last four years, I have gone through a number of experiences that challenged my sense of self and pushed me to become a different person, including moving halfway across the country, attending a relatively prestigious law school where I was no longer “the smart kid in the room,” and losing the relationship that I later learned was toxic and abusive. I lost my confidence in a number of ways, including my confidence as a writer. I became terrified that I would never produce anything that lived up to AotM, and that I would disappoint the many (many!) readers demanding answers. Luckily for me, through that adversity I found rewarding friendships, a beautiful partner who treats me the way I’d always fantasized/written about people like me getting treated, and an engaging career that leaves me with enough energy to write. My experiences are mirrored by iFlail, who went through a different, but similarly life-changing, series of events. But through this all, we never lost hope in this story, and we always planned to complete the series. We are wiser, stronger people now, and we both believe that the story will be richer for it. 

Which brings us to now, and our plans for the future. We do NOT intend to wait another four years to post X Gon’ Give It To Ya, the third and final installment of the series. We have spent countless hours brainstorming the plot, and all that’s really left to do is put it to paper. But, for people who are afraid of being burned twice, we will warn you now that Careless Whisper is JUST a prequel. If you want to know what happens after the “Gwen?” reveal, you will not get any answers until XGGITY (which I have, as of just now, decided to pronounce as “Ziggity”). We hope you stick around to watch Careless Whisper unfold, but we will understand if you want to wait until XGGITY to start reading again.

IN CONCLUSION - FINAL THOUGHTS

The Calendar Girl series has received more attention than we’d ever dreamed, and regardless of whether you liked or disliked our work, we want to thank you for taking the time to read it. If you made it to the end of AotM, we did something right, and again, we are so grateful that so many people have stuck with us this far.

We encourage everyone, moving forward, to keep a close eye on the tags that we use for our stories. We may not tag everything relevant, for the sake of preserving mystery about the plot, but we will be sure to tag everything that may be triggering or concerning, like self-harm, violence, or expected brand of romantic/sexual interactions. We will be adding this warning to the beginning of each story in the series.

Additionally, we want to acknowledge that there is a stark difference between legitimate concerns about the story and unfounded attacks on our character. Our decision to make this post is our attempt to dissuade the latter: We are not queerbaiting, and we have no interest in “forcing” people to read content that is not to their taste. However, that doesn’t mean that our execution of AotM, Careless Whisper, and/or XGGITY will be beyond reproach. The conversation on gender politics has evolved tremendously over the years that we’ve been working on this series, and it will undoubtedly continue to evolve as we progress into the future. We encourage constructive (!!!) criticism and open conversation on ways that we can improve our story, even if it involves tweaking published work to avoid mishandling deeply personal issues.

That said, if, after reading this post, you are still upset and/or unconvinced about our intentions for this series, we encourage you to stop reading it. We are not compensated for this work, and we have spent hundreds (probably thousands, by now) of hours striving to make the Calendar Girl series the best that it can be, for our own benefit. We believe that it may be the best fanfiction we will ever produce, and our satisfaction with our work is our priority. We will continue to post with that priority at the forefront, and with the demands of our reader base playing second fiddle. Similarly, we expect our readers to prioritize their needs above all others. We ask for your patience and your kindness moving forward and, if you cannot give us that, you are welcome to close the tab and move on with your life to other ventures that suit your interests better.

For those of you that choose to stay: You are in for a hell of a ride. We are both anxious to get through Careless Whisper, because we are both SO excited to share XGGITY with you. We believe it’s going to knock your socks off. We hope to see you there. 

Thanks, everyone, and happy reading!

[iflailfic]

Imagine a world where mainstream romances featuring queer people, disabled people, people of color, and those at the intersections of those identities, are not only featured but guaranteed a hopeful ending.

This is a great article, although honestly, "romance" falls short of including platonic, found family tropes that fanfic also excels at portraying compared to mainstream media.

Imo, fanfic does relationships better than Hollywood. And just because you're not IN a relationship with someone, doesn't mean you don't HAVE a relationship with someone. It's an unfortunate failing of the English language that we lack the linguistic/cultural nuance to really use "relationship" beyond the means of describing those that are romantic and nuclear familial. And while I get this was a Valentine's Day article, I think that the way society reflexively defines "relationship" as something romantic/sexual is in part what lends so much weight to romance in modern society and media.

Anyway, shout out to all our Ao3 authors out there. You're doing god's work.

#fanfic #discourse that no one asked for #news #article #fanfic discourse #shipping #platonic relationships #valentines day #fanfiction #fic