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iceoverlord · 3 years

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Have to love how we start funny but we start going horny with every line. Doing this with my pal here is always really fun.

Yang, but she is part bird

(Co-authored on discord by @iceoverlord. beware smut in this one)

In RWBY’s dorm…

Ruby: “Hey yang”

Yang: “SQAWK! I-i-i mean…”

Ruby: “A-anyway I bought some corn”

Yang: “Sweet I love corn!

starts to peck at it

Blake: ”…Yang?“

Yang: "hm?”

Blake: “Why do i feel the need to chase you…?”

Yang: “Oh wow, Blakey, didn’t know you swung that way.”

Blake: “Not like that, I mean I do but that’s not…”

Weiss enters with a bucket of fry chicken

Weiss:“Hmmmm~ crunchy”

Yang: “GASP WEISS NO!”

Weiss: “W-what? I can eat plebian food if I want, you aren’t my sister”

Yang: “I feel violated…”

Weiss: “Wh-what?!”

Yang: “You monster…I need some rest”

She sits on her bed, covers around her like a nest

Weiss: "Is she okay?”

Ruby: “I don’t know…she keeps stealing eggs and sitting on them”

Blake: “We should contact the school nurse.”

Yang: “No. Nonononononononono. No.”

Ruby: “C'mon that poor lady needs some work, with our aura we never got hurt”

Yang: “You will never catch me alive!”

She tries to fly out a window

Ruby: “Yang!”

Weiss: “That’s it, nurse office it is.”

Yang: “BWACK!”

Ruby: “Yang stop struggling!”

Weiss: “How do you calm a bird?”

Blake: “I have an idea.”

Blake throws a shirt over Yang’s head

Yang: “….zzzzz~”

Weiss: “I can’t believe it.”

Blake: “That explains things…what now?”

Weiss: “Ask the headmaster, the nurse, anyone who could know something really.”

Blake: “Why would the headmaster know about this? Makes no sense”

Ozpin: “Actually I do”

Ruby: “Headmaster? What are you doing here?”

Ozpin: “Taking a stroll”

Weiss: “What about…work?”

Ozpin: “Glynda is taking care of it”

Ruby: “…okay.”

Ozpin: “Anyhow, this disposition runs in the family.”

Blake: “How do you know that?”

Ozpin: “Because I gave her mother the power to turn into a bird at command”

Weiss: “What!?”

Blake: “You monster!”

Ruby: “How could you do something so evil?”

Yang: “zzzzzzzz”

Ozpin: “Why everyone keeps saying that? It’s only beneficial”

Blake: “Beneficial how?”

Ozpin: “well, she can fly, for one.”

Ruby: “…point.”

Blake: “And?”

Ozpin: “That’s it… I mean, it’s only a small bird what do you expect?”

Ruby: “So…Yang can turn into one too?”

Ozpin: “The possibility is there”

Blake: “She is totally gonna be a chicken”

Yang: “mmmnnnot chik'n.”

Weiss: “Maybe a canary?”

both raven and jaune sneeze

Ruby: “She would love to be a Phoenix”

Weiss: “You dolt, those are mythological, they don’t exist”

Ozpin sips coffee and looks away

Blake: “maybe a goldfinch?”

Ozpin: “taken.”

Blake: “by whom?”

Tai feels a little foreboding

Ruby: “An Ostrich!”

Weiss: “Those can’t even fly”

Ruby: “But lay huge eggs, we could all eat breakfast with only one of those”

Blake: “Oum I hope she doesn’t lay eggs”

Yang: “Mmmmmfertilize my eggs Jaune~”

Everyone else: “…”

Blake: “We are going to ignore that one”

Pyrrha: “Ignore what?”

Ruby: “Pyrrha?! Erm, Yang is speaking gibberish.”

Yang: “fertilize ‘em.”

Ruby: “See?“

Pyrrha: "I heard Jaune’s name…”

Ruby: “Oh erm… She must be dreaming about, eggs and Jaune is there”

Yang: “Scramble 'em if you wanna…”

Ruby: “See? Now they are cooking, nothing suspici-”

Yang: “With yur dick…”

Ruby: “…dreams are weird?”

Pyrrha: “Hmmmm…”

Yang: “More…”

Pyrrha: “hmmm”

Ruby: “Well, we gotta go to the nurse officeBYE!”

Pyrrha wasn’t buying it, she had enough wet dreams to recognize one. Hell, she had one every night since meeting Jaune, her sheets were a mess.

Pyrrha: “At least the nurse doesn’t want him too… I hope”

At the nurse office…

Nurse: “Oh my, finally some visitors! Ever since the young blonde got better at fighting, he hasn’t paid me more visits…”

Blake: “Crap.”

Nurse: “Quite, I enjoyed his company. Enough about me, what brings you here?”

Blake: “Why is every woman here so thirsty?”

Ruby: “It’s my sister, Mrs. Nurse”

Nurse: “What’s is wrong with her?”

chirps

Nurse: “Oh my…Hmm, could you tell me about her family, perhaps?”

Ruby: “Let’s see…her mom is a bandit leader that ran away from her husband and daughter because of pure fear, somehow deciding that living in the woods surrounded by a bunch of criminals was safer… Oh and she also can turn into a bird”

Weiss: “I thinks she only needed that last bit”

Blake: “Huh, Yang is actually messed up.”

Yang: “Daddy~”

Weiss: “very messed up.”

Blake: “Your dad looks like Jaune actually…”

Ruby: “EWEWEWEWEWEWWWWW don’t say that”

Weiss: “It’s true, maybe it’s genetic”

Ruby: “EWEWEWEW”

Nurse: “Fried was right.”

Weiss: “Blake, why is your nose bleeding?”

Blake: “The amount of play…”

Yang: “Mmmmmhumongous Knight Daddy~”

Blake: “We just need a fake beard for him”

Weiss: “Now both of you are scaring me”

Nurse: “As a professional I think your groups needs some…reflief”

Ruby: “Relief how?”

Nurse: “Well, I got some condoms-”

Weiss: “No.”

Pyrrha: “YES”

Ruby: “Whoa, pyrrha?!”

Pyrrha: “I need this”

Nurse: “Okay just grab one and-hey wait, you can’t grab them all”

Pyrrha: “I’m the only one using these!”

Blake: “Sure, I prefer my Daddy raw~”

Weiss: “Blake?”

Blake: “..you didn’t hear a thing.”

Weiss: “I very much did and wish i didn’t.”

Yang: “Bwnn..hm? Where am I?”

Nurse: “I take it back, my office was better when there was no one in it”

Yang: “The nurse’s office? Nonononononono!”

Blake: “Yang, chill!”

Pyrrha: “I’m the only one chilling with Jaune”

Ruby: “Not now, you Amazonian yandere”

Nurse: “Please leave, I need to mastu- I mean organize files”

Pyrrha: “Alright, let’s leave- Pyrrha!”

Weiss: “What’s with her?”

Blake: “I think she snapped.”

Ruby: “And why there are pictures of Jaune in his underwear on your desk Miss Nurse?”

Nurse: “That’s because… Medical secret”

ruby: “Seems legit”

Yang: “Aaaaabs~”

Nurse: “Now leave.”

RWBY: “Okay.”

Outside…

Pyrrha: “Jaune, your mommy is coming”

Blake: “Holy shit, yeah, she snapped”

Yang: “It’s okay I stol-ahem, borrowed some tranquilizer rifles from the nurses stash”

Weiss: “That raises many many questions”

Ruby: “Questions later, shoot horny friend now”

Pyrrha: “Jaaaaaaaaune”

Yang: “Missed!”

Weiss: “You don’t know how to handle a rifle?!”

Yang: “Of course I don’t, I use shotgun gauntlets!”

Weiss: “That’s not the same!”

Ruby: “Hope we don’t hit anyone”

Elsewhere

Glynda: “Can’t believe that you left me with all your work”

Ozpin: “Glynda please, you have to learn how to relax”

Glynda: “I can’t relax when there is so much to- ouch! what was thaaaaaaaat~? I feeeel fuzzy~”

Ozpin: “Well that was fast”

Glynda: “Mwhehehehe…”

plop

Ozpin: “Glynda…? Glynda? Damn it…Now who is gonna do all my work for me… Oobleck are you free?”

Machine: “THIS.IS.DR.OOBLECKS.PERSONAL.INQUIRY.ANSWER.MACHINE.DR.OOBLECK.IS.CURRENTLY.BUSY-”

Ozpin: “Damn it.”

Weiss: “Give me that! You are only good at punching things, you have to aim and…”

Weiss took a beautiful shot, it was going right towards the target… Until Pyrrha deflected it back.

Weiss: “Agh!”

Ruby: “Weiss!”

Weiss: “Ngh…mommy I want a pony~”

Blake: “So are tranqs out now?”

Yang: “NEVER!”

Blake: “Oh so we use it like some dagger, then?”

Yang: “YES”

Pyrrha: “Jaune~ mommy is coming”

Yang: “SNEAK ATTACK!”

Blake: “You don’t yell that!”

Pyrrha: “Ugh!”

Yang: “Ah, got you bitch!”

Ruby: “Yang ,she is our friend”

Pyrrha: “Mwehehe, Jaune is gonna powder the crab with his pelican reactor…”

Yang: “what the- oh, she’s out. Yes!”

Ruby: “Finally ,we have-”

Blake: “opportunity!”

Ruby: “what?! no!”

Yang: “That’s why you can’t trust cats, they are evil!”

Ruby: “That’s only your bird brain talking”

Yang: “Maybe, maybe not. But if one is going to built a nest with lover boy, that one is going to be me! There can be only one!”

Blake: “Only one animal girl will get that dick!”

velvet: “You don’t say…you wanker!”

Blake: “Velvet!”

Ruby: “Yes!”

Yang and Blake: “No!”

Velvet: “what’s that in your shins?”

Yang: “Oh those are traaaaaaaaaaa…”

Velvet: “haha! now on to make like a jar and get myself pickle’d! I finally can use all those tricks that momma uses in her movies”

ruby: “AHA! I knew that she was familiar!”

Velvet: “You have no chance against these bunny hips mah boy”

later….

Jaune: “Hm? Oh hey, Velvet.”

Velvet: “Hi there. Wanna play bunny with me?”

Jaune: “uuuuuh…”

Velvet: “It’s very easy, first you take off your pants”

Jaune: “What?”

Velvet: “And then I ride you until you go soft or I pass out, whatever happens first”

Jaune: “That’s not…how bunnies do it.”

Velvet: “It’s how I do it. Or do you…not wanna…?”

cute pout engaged!

Jaune: “HNNNNGGG”

Velvet: “Hehehe bunny eyes, no one can’t resist them”

jaune: “Maybe…if you go slow first…”

Velvet: “…I can do that. Now lay down and be a good boy. For me~?”

Jaune: “HNG…okay.”

Velvet: “Yes! It work- ulp.”

Jaune: “It…doesn’t look weird does it.”

Velvet: “If by weird you mean 'intimidating’ and 'porn star worthy’, then definitely.”

Jaune: “How do you know that?”

Velvet: “Family business”

Jaune: “Oh~ that’s why you seemed so familiar”

Velvet: “What?”

Jaune: “What? Erm- I- i mean-”

Velvet: “You saw videos with my mom?”

Jaune: “Your mom is Penelope Scarlet?”

Velvet: “That’s her porn name alright. I’m also kinda flattered.”

Jaune: “R-really?”

Velvet: “Yes. Say, did you ever dream of starring in a porno?”

Jaune: “Once or twice.”

Velvet: “wait, really?”

Jaune: “It was weird.”

Velvet: “No, not at all. In fact…I always wanted to debut in one but…I was anxious about it but if you would…do it with me”

Jaune: “Oh no, now she is really cute…S-sure, would be an honor”

Velvet: “Yay! Now off with the pants.”

Jaune: “Yes, ma'am.”

Pyrrha: “mngghn…dang'r….”

Jaune: “Ngh, tight…maybe we should…do some foreplay?”

Velvet: “It’s fine ngggh~ just a little hop and-”

slips and goes all the way down

Velvet: "OOOOOOH! FULL! YES! I-I-I!”

Jaune: “Um, Velvet?”

Velvet: “No Velvet. Bunny is Bunny and Bunny wants to skip and hop with mate.”

Jaune: “By Oum she has gone feral”

Velvet: “You broke Bunny mind, now Bunny breaks mate’s hips”

Jaune: “Mnnngh~ so fast! Oh crap, do you want to run me dry?!”

Velvet: “That’s Bunny’s plan, because Bunny loves mate.”

Jaune: “That’s very sweet Bunny but-”

Velvet: “Bunny is gonna marry mate and have many wonderful bunnies like him”

Jaune: “… Yeah. Um-”

Velvet: “Bunny love-loves mate.”

Jaune: “Oh, craaaaaa AAAAP!”

Velvet: “Mate’s cumming! Breeding Bunny! FILL BUNNY!”

Meanwhile Nora in in the bathroom, recording everything from a tiny crack on the door.

Nora: “And here we see the mating ritual between two bunnies. You will observe that the usually shy female becomes very assertive during her heat in securing a mate. Once the mate is secured, the bunny proceeds to mark him and collect his seed. It’s well known that once a female bunny finds a mate she will never let go. The breeding may take hours to complete in full…”

Ruby: “A-HA!”

Nora: “…hence why the probability of being interrupted is rather high if one doesn’t secure a quiet place.”

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