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“i wish i read more books” says woman who only read fanfictions of the same couple over and over again.

it's me, i'm the woman.

#ao3 #fanfic #wattpad #johnlock #destiel #merthur #inneffable husbands #merwaine #hannigram #geraskier

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I hope Avengers sometimes go to Strange like “I need your help” and he’s like “What’s wrong? Skrulls? Hydra?” and they’re like “I’m congested and it hurts when I swallow.”

#Avengers #Marvel Cinematic Universe

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#chris evans #in where he is actually steve rogers

#just all of this

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what did archive of our own do?

any more questions?

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gay people everywhere

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This 5th of November…

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brio, according to tumblr

#These tags speak the truth of my heart #Could not have put it better #Beautiful horny fucked-up idiots #NBC Good Girls

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Haunted House

Ineffable Flufftober Day 5: Haunted House

Drarry and Romione

***

"But I don't get it," Draco says, frowning. "Why on earth would we want to go to a haunted house?"

"Because it's not really haunted," Harry says, fighting the urge to pull at his hair; they've explained it six times.

"But then why is it called that?" Ron asks. "If it's not haunted. Haunted houses exist. We had a ghoul in the attic."

Draco nods helpfully. "The manor has thirteen ghosts. They're all my boring, blood purist relatives who really can't do anything to you, but it is haunted."

"Yeah, exactly!" Ron says, and really, they never agree on anything, but they have no problem teaming up to make Harry's and Hermione's lives impossible. "Even-"

"Yes, but muggles don't know real hauntings exist," Hermione says, pinching the bridge of her nose. "So they hire actors to dress up like monsters-"

"What kind of creatures?" Ron asks with great interest. "Ghouls?"

"Merepeople?" Draco asks, wrinkling his nose. "Because they are-"

"You know what?" Hermione says. "Harry and I are going to a Haunted House. You two can stay here if you want."

"Don't be like that, Mione," Ron says. "We'll go with you, we just don't get it."

"You can not get it and enjoy it," Harry offers.

By the time they're in the car and Ron and Draco are arguing about how to properly put on a seatbelt, Hermione and Harry are sorely regretting trying to take their boyfriends to a Halloween festival.

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#I live for Draco and Ron figuring out normal people things #mostly Draco #Draco struggling with basic technology has my heart #dumb lil boys #drarry #romione #harry potter #draco malfoy

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#And we fucking appreciate it #nothing like celebrating your wedding night writing about fictional boys realising they love each other #or more like getting over themselves and just doing it on the nearest available surface

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beelzebub: so now that you’ve fallen, you’re supposed to do bad things. Like tempt people into stuff. murder, lying, stuff like that. just you know, your regular temptations

crowley: i can tempt…anybody?

beelzebub: well…yeah

crowley, busting open the gates to eden, sweating profusely and holding a rose in his mouth: HEY AZIRAPHALE

#aaaaaahhhhhh #this is so perfect #my heart is doing little jumps #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #crowley × aziraphale

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my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”

he said, “you have to stop doing that.”

“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.

but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.” 

i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”

as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck. 

“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”

so, my friends: what are you writing about?

#this. #this. this right here.

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Trick

Ineffable Flufftober Day 1: Trick

Ineffable Husbands

***

"I don't understand."

Crowley bites back a groan; he loves his angel, there's not a single doubt in the world that he does, but wow, sometimes he's just - an angel.

"What don't you understand?" he asks patiently.

"The purpose," Aziraphale says, watching as the men on the TV enter into yet another TV universe. "What's the point?"

"They're being tricked, angel," Crowley says, turning away from the screen. "By a trickster."

"Yes, but why?" Aziraphale asks; it's taken a long time for him to even slightly appreciate TV, and, if he's quite honest, Crowley didn't have it on because he's actually watching the show, but because he likes Aziraphale's cute little frown when he's confused about something.

Which is often.

"Humor." Crowley shrugs. "Fun. Maybe revenge."

"But that's awful!" Aziraphale exclaims. "Revenge is never the right-"

Crowley chuckles and cuts him off with a quick kiss to the cheek; even that makes him flush.

"Alright, alright, Angel. We can watch something else."

"But it's not about the show!" Aziraphale says. "People do it every day, you said so!"

Crowley had said so. He didn't think it'd come back to bite him in the ass.

"It's friendly," he explains. "Mostly. It's some people's way of showing affection."

Aziraphale looks at him pensively. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," he says.

"And yours?"

"Sometimes," Crowley says, thinking he doesn't like where this is going. "Why?"

"No reason."

He thinks the matter is put to rest until he walks into his house two days later to find all his furniture upside down on the ceiling. Aziraphale looks so proud of himself Crowley doesn't have the heart to tell him that he could just undo it with a single snap of his fingers, so, instead, he spends hours doing it manually.

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If you enjoyed this, please consider buying me a kofi <3

Masterlist: [1] [2]

Commissions

#that was absolutely precious #good omens #aziraphel #crowley

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………………………… au

#how do people write such perfect shit so spontaneously!? #that was so goddamn perfect #teach me your ways #drarry #harry potter #draco malfoy

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im sorry but writing enemies to lovers on ao3 is so fucking funny. one of them will go a whole paragraph saying how much they hate, absolutely despise, have genuine burning contempt for the other and we’re all here knowing damn well that enemies to lovers tag is just sat there. like we already know what’s coming bro you’re just embarrassing yourself

#it's about the damn 'oh' people

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Someone: *insults fanfiction*

Me: