frogsandmushrooms

[frogsandmushrooms]

Welcome to the presidential nursing home! Which would you prefer?

- Dementia

- Literal Felon

- Worm

- Host of Worm (50% off, is missing some parts in the brain region)

I’m sorry, the presidential options are

WHAT

this year?

[frogsandmushrooms]

I’m sorry, the presidential options are

WHAT

this year?

#president trump #president biden #2024 presidential election #us presidents #john f kennedy #worm

[frogsandmushrooms]

not now kitten, daddy's about to have a mental breakdown from seeing the prices at the grocery store

[frogsandmushrooms]

More???? Please???? I beg????

STWG Prompt: Waking Up

If Eddie was being honest with himself, he didn’t really expect to wake up. 

The bats had closed in and as he said his goodbyes to Dustin, he could physically feel the life leaving him, all the warmth of his blood slowly gushing out, and he was cold.

Though, being honest with himself again, if he had expected to wake up, he would have expected to be handcuffed to a hospital bed, or hidden away in a back shed at one of the kids houses or maybe waking up in Steve’s room, if he was lucky, like he had so many times before.

He definitely wouldn’t have expected to wake up here.

Dirt falling into his eyes and his mouth through the wooden slats above him, no sound at all apart from his own panic, the cold, the fucking damp cold seeping into his skin, the smell of earth around him, his elbows and knees knocking off the wood as he started to freak the fuck out.

They’d buried him, they’d fucking buried him!

Did no one check to see that he was still fucking alive?

How the fuck was he still alive?!

You know what? Sort your fucking priorities out, Eddie, he said to himself. You can continue to ask questions as soon as you GET THE FUCK OUT!

He kicked, he scrabbled, he dug his fingers in between the flimsy, obviously homemade slats of his makeshift coffin and pulled, having to turn his face away from the dirt falling into his eyes again, holding his breath so he didn’t inhale it, feeling it trickle into his ear but deciding that it was the least of his fucking problems.

The fear and frustration and blind motherfucking panic coursed through him and he drove his fist upwards, punching clean through the wood and earth and laughing aloud with joy when he felt air on his hand, down to the wrist.

They’d only buried him as deep as his arm, what a fucking mercy, holy shit.

Okay, okay, okay, chill. Chill.

He was able to punch up pretty easily so he reared back as much as he could in the cramped space and punched again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

He was able to get one arm out as far as his elbow and he swung it down, digging his fingers into the soft earth as hard as he could, using that as leverage to drag his head up. He spat out the dirt in his mouth, his body shaking with coughs as he wedged his shoulder up and pulled his other arm out.

With two hands free he was able to scrabble at the soft earth, slowly, so slowly pulling and dragging and wiggling until he was still buried up to the hips but he could fucking rest for a moment collapsing onto the ground, half in half out, Jesus H. Christ.

He only allowed himself a moment before he pushed against his arms again, lifting himself up and pushing, kicking until his legs were free and he could crawl a couple of feet away.

His whole body shook forward as he heaved, dry and aching with that gut deep pain because there was nothing to throw up.

Eddie allowed himself to tip to the side, rolling onto his back, closing his eyes and just existing for a moment, trying to grapple with the fact that he just dug himself out of his own fucking grave.

That’s so fucking metal.

It didn’t feel very metal right now but it probably would at some point in the future.

Maybe.

Now he just had to figure out if he was stuck inside of a psychological thriller or a supernatural horror.

He was kinda hoping for the second one if he was being honest with himself.

He should probably stop being honest with himself.

Look at what happened when he was. 

He woke up after taking a fucking dirt nap.

Fuck.

He opened his eyes, looking up at the sky and all he saw was red.

Well…

Fuck.

Again.

Still in this hellhole, then.

Okay.

Probably time to figure shit out, or whatever.

Eddie groaned as he sat up, giving a cursory glance around, hoping that maybe it was just a really red sky type of day in the Rightside Up but no such luck.

He was met by the sight of black vines and a general sense of decay, so yep. Still in hell, great.

There was a thick plank of wood sticking straight up out of the earth and as he shuffled closer to inspect it, he realised it was a headstone. They’d fashioned him a makeshift headstone.

It was simple, he wouldn’t have expected any more given the lack of materials here in the alternate dimension.

Just his name, Eddie, engraved into the wood, no dates, no epitaph, just Eddie.

He didn’t hate it. 

He’d have loved some paragraph about his fuckin sick guitar skills or whatever but he could like simple too.

He rarely did, but he could.

Plus, they took the time in a weird fucky dimension to give him a headstone, how could he hate that?

As he looked closer, he noticed a small little heart near the base, S+E snuggled inside, shallow and hastily carved.

Shit.

He needed to get topside, now.

What a stark reminder that the entire Party thought he was fucking dead.

Steve thought he was fucking dead.

God, he hoped he hadn’t told Wayne yet.

That’s just what he needed, to kill his old man with a fucking heart attack.

Eddie pushed himself to his feet and started walking, not sparing a glance back at his grave, hopeful his next one would be, like, seventy years in the future.

There were grooves cut deep into the earth, practically guiding him back to his trailer, or whatever was left of it in this dimension and Eddie couldn’t stop the sickening feeling building up in his stomach that all of this had been for nothing.

They’d fucking lost.

They can’t have lost, right?

His trailer was just ahead, bisected and falling apart, but he could see the portal glowing so he’d get topside, take a look out the window and see that everything was fine…

Sure, yeah.

Totally.

Eddie looked up, the portal floating above him amongst the debris.

It wasn’t that high, surely if he-

He jumped, his eyebrows flying up into his hairline when he easily reached the lip, hanging by his fingertips off the edge and pulling himself up as smooth as if he was floating in water.

He didn’t exactly understand all those physics Dustin had lectured them all on but this… didn’t seem to be that.

He dropped down to his feet, the amount of colour greeting him almost hurting his eyes but he couldn’t focus on that.

He didn’t have time to.

Because as soon as he straightened up, there was the barrel of a shotgun pressed to his forehead.

Eddie threw his hands up, having to blink a few times before he realised who was behind it.

“Sweetheart?”

Steve was glaring at him, the shotgun held steady and firm in his hand. He looked haggard and dirty and somehow even more injured than Eddie had last seen him.

There was a healing burn along the side of his head, making it look like he’d shaved his hair, there was a deep cut through his eyebrow and his arms were littered with small cuts and bruises, extending up into the sleeves of his dirty polo.

And he was wearing Eddie’s vest. 

He was wearing his vest like it was the most natural thing in the world, like it was part of his wardrobe and had been for a while. 

Despite the fucking gun pressed to his head, Eddie’s heart flip flopped around in his chest, more to do with affection than fear.

“Sweetheart, I-”

Steve pressed the gun against him harder with a furious grimace.

“I am not your sweetheart. What are you?”

“I-” Eddie swallowed. That seemed like a very specific question.

Not who are you, not what are you doing here, not how are you upright and not in the dirt, rotting?

No.

What are you.

“Stevie it’s- it’s me. It’s Eddie.”

Steve pressed in harder again, walking him backwards until he was up against the wall.

“You are not my Eddie.” He hissed. “I buried my Eddie a month ago.” Steve’s finger moved down to rest against the trigger. “Now I’ll ask you again. What are you?”

“I…” Eddie opened and closed his mouth. “I don’t know.”

I won't deny it, @momotonescreaming's Hole Microfic put the worms in my brain for this one. Different vibes but the worms did worm.

#ilysm for writing this #genuinely #great piece I stg

[frogsandmushrooms]

Hello world! I'm 17 minutes old❤️

#i cant #it’s so cute #i would kill for him #i would die for him

[frogsandmushrooms]

Genuinely so happy that BG3, the first game in a very, very, VERY long time to:

-Actually listen to and care about their players

-Update instead of include paid DLC

-Provide a full, well thought-out and put-together game

-Give us unique gameplay, characters, and styles never really seen before

-Fix issues instead of let them sit

Won with a SWEEP at game awards. Well done guys, we love you! 💙

#game awards #bg3

[frogsandmushrooms]

*Me, looking back at my old post about BG3 bombs, having forgotten about said post and romanced one of them*

Oh no

#bg3 tav #bg3 #bg3 karlach #bg3 astarion #bg3 gale

[frogsandmushrooms]

I have come to the realization that most of your party in Baldur’s Ga(y)te 3 are walking bombs. Some of them know roughly when they will go off (Gale). Some of them won’t get any warning (Karlach). And then SOME of them (I’m looking at you Astarion) decide to be apart of a mass collection of like, 7 bombs!!!

So let’s hope your Tav has experience handling explosives or was apart of a bomb squad in another life because… well, they will need all the help they can get.

—————

And don’t forget the ticking time bombs in every single one of you (The Parasites)! So some of the party members are bombs inside of bombs >;)

#baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate karlach #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate tav #baldurs gate gale #baldurs gate spoilers #why is everyone so hot #but also hot in the “I’m going to explode sense

[frogsandmushrooms]

Sane People: You can’t keep coping with your own loneliness by hyper-fixating on the couple that never actually became fully cannon, no matter how many scenes and hints were dropped. It never happened the way you wanted it to, and never will, so you need to let it go.

Every single one of you:

#steddie #ineffable husbands #aziraphel #crowley #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #azirowley #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #dean x castiel #cope #Slightly a self-callout too but we don’t need to mention that

[frogsandmushrooms]

I wonder how modern day Steddie would react to Fall Out Boy’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”

Picture Steve casually jamming along, happy to get to know modern kids’ music choices.

Meanwhile Eddie in the background is trying his hardest not to rip the phone out of Steve’s hands and turn off the music because “How dare they mess with perfection” (Even if it’s not necessarily Eddie’s known genre of music, of COURSE he listened to this song about all the flaws in America, that’s his whole gimmick). But, he won’t do that because he loves seeing Steve happy and feeling included, even if the reason for this makes Eddie want to pull his own hair out.

#steddie #steve harrington #steve stranger things #steve x eddie #feral eddie #eddie munson #fall out boy #we didn’t start the fire

[frogsandmushrooms]

I’m on my hands and knees begging here:

Someone please please please find/draw me accurate Jason’s hands.

I’m tired of the barely scarred or fully gloved hands. Show me the hands of a former street rat/thief turned always-swinging-from-things Robin turned crawling-out-of-his-own-grave dead man walking turned league of assassins trainee turned anti-hero.

Show the history, pain, and suffering that Jason went through to become who he is today. Don’t erase that shit.

#jason todd #batfam #red hood #scars #I’m tired of the bs no-detail hands #sure there’s some scars but not nearly enough #I want callouses #I want broken fingernails #I want evidence of wrists or fingers being broken #give me all the details #Off canon but what if he got tattoos to cover up the scars #hand tattoos yessss #show me that too

[frogsandmushrooms]

Bonus torture: Jason starts leaving guns EVERYWHERE solely to piss off bruce

So I love the fics of the Batfam finding out Jason is alive and has been alive for a while through the most random circumstances, but what if he got back to Gotham a bit saner and decided to just... see how long it took his family to notice him?

Like food goes missing from the kitchen and Alfred can't figure it out for the life of him until he catches Jason raiding the fridge at two am.

Tim sees Jason sneaking around the manor and just assumes he's hallucinating again.

Bruce notices things around the cave have been moved or are missing and scolds Dick and Tim, who keep denying it was them.

Dick finds the Discowing suit laid out for him everywhere he goes.

[frogsandmushrooms]

I NEED more headcannons/scenarios with Steve, Eddie, and the kids where the kids are bullying Steve and Eddie just…

Wants to THROTTLE the kids, but chooses a verbal beat down instead.

Give me Eddie that loses his shit to protect Steve.

Give me Steve that finally gets the respect he deserves after babysitting the little shits for so long with absolutely no pay.

#seriously at least give Steve benefits if you won’t pay him #shittiest internship ever #Steddie #steve x eddie #feral Eddie #protective eddie munson #giveSteve Harrington the respect he deserves #he didn’t even mean to sign up for this

[frogsandmushrooms]

God damn it,

GIVE MY BOYS SOME PEACE AND HAPPINESS

FOR ONE!!! DAY!!!

Thank you.

Edit: I cannot believe how many fandoms I can apply this to in the tags holy shit.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #jason peter todd #jason todd #tim drake #dean winchester #castiel #damian wayne #dick grayson

[frogsandmushrooms]

Bruce Wayne: I raised all my children with perfect morals, there will be no killing in this family.

Literally every single batboy:

#jason todd #bruce wayne #batman #batfam #tim drake #damian wayne #Dick Grayson too but we don’t talk about that

[frogsandmushrooms]

BREAKING NEWS:

That raisin got revenge

Finals can suck my dick. When will I EVER need to know that Mercury is super wrinkly huh???

Unless the raisin in the sky is asking for lotion, leave him alone.

[frogsandmushrooms]

Finals can suck my dick. When will I EVER need to know that Mercury is super wrinkly huh???

Unless the raisin in the sky is asking for lotion, leave him alone.

#wrinkly #mercury