fa11en-snow

[fa11en-snow]

I can't process it

I can't do anything

it's like I'm stuck in a daze

stuck thinking about his hand in mine, about his back pressed again my arm, about when he would lay his head down and look at me from under.

the heat he radiated.

the chill I got when he touched me.

my god

he's so cute

can't even write this without getting distracted.

[fa11en-snow]

I close my eyes and he's all i see

[fa11en-snow]

it doesn't even make sense

all he was doing was taking his sunglass back

but his hand was so close to me

and I could feel my face turn hot

I could feel my heart speeding up

and clench

how come he's the only one to affect me in this way?

[fa11en-snow]

i showed him my scars. they're faded, barley something you can see anymore, just faint discolouring.

he saw each one, running two fingers over them like that would make them disappear, like he could erase all the pain i've ever felt, like it would all be made better

i never though i’d meet someone who would touch me with such tender love and care, and emotion that makes me cry to think about

someone treating me like the glass figure i truly am, and not allowing me to break

i never thought.

yet here i am

and there he is

[fa11en-snow]

there was one moment where we were just both laying on floor

we just stayed there, with our heads laying on our folded arms,

looking at the dog and then...

he looked at

me

and so i followed suit

comfortable, almost intimate

if anything, it was euphoric

[fa11en-snow]

it's almost like our fingers were dancing, the way they moved and gilded over each other. contact time changing, brushing against each other versus resting, the warmth settling each new time.

it's been one day shy of two weeks and yet, I can't stop wondering

if it will ever happen again

[fa11en-snow]

we are walking

i'm wearing a dress, he's wearing a suit

he askes if i'm cold "a little, but nothing i can't handle"

he offered his jacket and

i hesitate

this is what you see in the movies. and it's so adorable

"no, i'm good. thank you though"

he hums in response and all i can think is "he's so fucking sweat"

i'm home and i wrap myself in three heavy blankets

i wish i had taken that jacket. 💛

[fa11en-snow]

i’m in my room, just reading like normal yet, don’t have any music playing.

i can hear my brother and father talking; muffins, marching band, i listen in but i don’t hear what they say.

everything flys over my head.

i’m hearing.

i’m reading.

nothing

[fa11en-snow]

forever he said

only it wasn't to me

[fa11en-snow]

green, the colour of the forest

it surrounds you, you feel lost

so you keep walking

follow the river

seventeen

you're home now

[fa11en-snow]

two nights ago I had a dream of coming out. but when I woke up I was confused.

my father was kinda being a dick - which he normally is so no surprise there - but this time he was saying shit about the LGBTQ+ community, I can't remember what he was saying but it was all terrible and I had just had it with him so I yelled about how these people aren't bad and that I, myself, was part of these people, that I was aromantic asexual, stumbling over my words and trying to get him to understand what aromantic and asexual meant, but then I woke up.

but I, myself, didn't actually wake up, it turns out that what I just wrote was a dream in a dream. so now, I was on the couch and while looking around I see two types of strung decorations that were quite obviously pride themed. but why would my father have those up if he didn't know? did my dream self sleep talk and that's how he found out? I don't know, but I came out to him again, not yelling and stuttering less, and he was supportive, he was supporting me now.

my father has always been someone who I've got annoyed at a lot and from my point of view, we don't have a good relationship, even though to him, he thinks we're like buddies. so yes, I like my mom more, yet in this dream, when my mom came around I tried to muster up all the courage I could so I could come out to her - someone who I value so much, someone who I'm terrified of not being accepted by - and I couldn't do it. eventually I would've, in maybe like five minutes, maybe less, I would've been able to go over there and tell her but I woke up.

I woke up in my grandma's house, with my father on the couch and me on the recliner, I was back to the real world and I was cryng? just a little. no sobs or anything. just light tears that no one can hear.

i started thinking, "why am I crying?" but then I realized, it's because it wasn't real. I didn't actually come out to him, to any of my parents, they're all blissfully ignorant, still thinking I'll date someone, and marry a man, and have children.

I don't know when I will them. or even if I ever will in the end. But for now, all I did was think, and once my father woke up I wiped the tears and went on with my day.

#aromantic #aromanticism #aroace #aromantic asexual #asexuel #asexuality #dreams

[fa11en-snow]

I am aromantic.

I can't remember what I first felt when I first figured this out but I knew it was right. I could just feel it. but yet, I have still had a hard time coming to terms with it, somedays it's the best feeling in the world, other days, it feels like it's gonna destroy me. but it's who I am. I chose that during arospec awearness week I would go all out: wear green, black, and grey clothing, wear the flag, post about it, and more, because not everyone knows about aromanticism, and I wanted people to learn. that first day, I had a friend, zephyr draw the flag on my face and later, now, when I think upon that time, I think of how all I can remember from that week were good memoriss where I truly felt like myself. yes, I was already out to my third period class and my friends but I hadn't to the rest of the crowds. and sure, maybe some people think everything was just for support, awearnes, or maybe just for show and attention. while i did want to araise awearness, it wasn't all that. as that week went on, I realized this was also for me, to embrace my culture, even if only for a week. and now, I want to come out to my parents. more than ever. yet, I'm still to scared to. I don't have a point with this post, I just wanted to say this and to have someone listen.

#aromantic #aromanticism #being myself

[fa11en-snow]

i can feel my heart breaking

eleven

she said maybe

but now they're all going away

and soon enough I'll never see them again

#original poem #short poem #writing

[fa11en-snow]

the intense cold covered you everywhere, your finger tips a little blue, other parts the same. your hands are shaking and sam grabs them, heat quickly covering every inch he’s touching, completely replacing all the cold on your hands. you just sit there for a second, looking at the horizon together while his hands rest on yours. eventually he brakes the silence.

“it’s remarkable how much courage it takes to kiss someone, even when you’re almost certain that person would like to be kissed by you”

you blink a few times and turn your body to face him. a second of silence passes and your gaze quickly moves away before whispering “and, do you think i would like to be kissed by you?” your breath was visible.

“i would certainly hope so,” he caresses your cheek, moving the warmth form your hand to your face. he looks in your eyes searching for rejection but finding nothing of the sort. his sight slipped down to your lips for a daring second before looking back up. “can I?” he breathes out snagging glances to your lips again. “um,” you unintentionally lick your own lips and slowly nod.

he leaned forward and you took a quick cold breath when you felt his lips gently met with yours. you instantly felt shivers run all over you, soon consumed with the feel of fire relaxing everywhere his body touched as you sink in further.

eventually he pulls back for air, quickly taking in the sharp substance, feeling it scratch his throat. you just sit there, breathing heavily and staring off into space. as thoughts and thoughts swarm your mind you start to bring your hand to your lips, tracing them when there.

looking back over at you and noticing your state he spoke, almost shyly, and said “y’know i’ve uh… i’ve been waiting to do that for a while now,”

in your trance you said the first thing to pop into your mind “i’ve been wanting that for a while now”

#writing #writing attempts #literature #falling in love #love #love in the air #character x y/n #character x you #character x reader #character x oc #first kiss #kiss #kissing #heat #fire #cold #any gender #genderless #genderless reader #genderfluid #genderfluid reader #gender neutral fanfic #gender nuetral reader #gender neutral insert

[fa11en-snow]

god, i’m just pissed at the world and there’s nothing i can do

[fa11en-snow]

i only wish that someday, i’ll actually cry when someome’s around to bloody comfort me

[fa11en-snow]

Should you come out as lgbtqia+ ? 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️ And how you could go about this :

(Seriously- this took so long and then tumblr deleted it and i had to start again 😭 so pls just reblog- i rly hope this finds the right ppl who need this)

(With helplines)

TO HIDE THIS SCREEN SCROLL ALL THE WAY DOWN FOR IMAGE OF A SUNSET

How do I know if i should come out?

When coming out of the closet 🚪 there are some things you must consider-

1- Is it safe to come out?

This is something that you must consider before coming out, your safety is your number one priority. Some parents/ guardians are not supportive and coming out as LGBTQIA+ could be dangerous and/or have negative consequences. There is the possibility of parents/guardians changing their beliefs when their kid comes out as lgbtq+ however, luck and chance aren’t reliable and if you are in danger of being abused, disowned etc you should focus on safety first and possibly wait until you are old enough and have the finances and people to support you.

Another thing to add here is, it isnt just parents who can cause harm if they dont support. There are countries where it is illegal to be lgbtqia+ and even if it is legal many communities are still pretty homophobic. Make sure your:

Country, local area, school, work, friends, club etc wont abuse or discriminate against you should you come out.

This isnt to say that you should only ever come out to supportive people, because that may be unrealistic, however- make sure you will be safe around them should you be out as LGBTQIA+ to them.

Some ways you can test someones support is:

-Tell them your friend or classmate is lgbtq+ and see how they react (parents may not always show their true feelings when talking about this however it often shows if there is an extreme negative attitude towards it for example: if they say slurs, they say, ‘well thank god you arn’t ___’ , Says this person cannot come over or if they say you arn’t allowed to be friends or talk to this person.

There is no set way people will react so this does require a bit of interpretation.

Something else to consider is,

Do i need to come out?

Often LGBTQ+ people, especially kids, are made to feel like coming out is and needs to be a large declaration when in fact, it doesn’t need to be. For some people coming out is a huge thing and that’s totally valid and amazing but it is also valid if you don’t want to come out. Sometimes not coming out is a safer option, especially if this part of your identity is very personal to you. Not everyone needs to know and thats fine because its not anyone else’s business but yours 🫶

Something else to possibly ask yourself is: Why do i want to come out?

Some people do it to let other people know

Some do it to celebrate who they are

There are so many different reasons I just cannot list them all.

And last but not least,

How will this affect me and my life?

There are many ways being out as LGBTQIA+ can affect your life for example

-Leave you without support

-Increased chance of homelessness

-Increased chance of violence and abuse

-Increase support

-Find a community

-Decrease Dysphoria

-Find love

-Get away from love

-More knowledge about the history

The important thing to remember is, being LGBTQIA+ can have negative consequences however, you have a community and you have support. Being apart of this community affects everyone differently. When coming out you don’t have to come out to everyone on the planet or stay in the closet, coming out isn’t that linear. Many people come out to friends first and build a support group before coming out to parents. Some people may never be out to their parents. Some parts of being in the lgbtq+ community are highly stigmatised and others less so. Come out to who you want to and when you want to. On your own terms.

‘I’ve been outed and I don’t know what to do!’

I have personal experience with being outed as LGBTQIA+ and it is a difficult and different experience for everyone. It can be very scary once you have been outed, especially as it wasn’t your decision. If you are in danger ⚠️ CALL THE POLICE ⚠️

The police may not be perfect with LGBTQIA+ issues however please do not put yourself at risk and if you need assistance please go and get it.

But what if you are not in immediate danger but this isn’t going well?

Some people un-come out. This can be really difficult and traumatising as it is renouncing a part of who you are. This option may not be for everyone and being outed is often very circumstantial but it is difficult especially if you then want to come out to that person at a later date. If you want advice there are many helplines that i will put below or please feel free to message me asking for advice.

Some people may own their and be open and clear about their identity however, many may be very hurt. NEVER out someone without their permission. Never. It is not your place and you can cause so much more harm than good.

So, now you’ve decided you want to come out; what happens now?

Some ways to come out are:

Bake a cake (pride colours or writing that says, I’m ____’

Just say it

Get someone else to say it (😂) (i did this with my teacher because i was so scared, it went well :3)

Throw a coming out party/ gender reveal party

Buy a pride flag

Make a sign that says ‘Say no to sex! Asexual pride!’

Make a bet for £10 or something saying you’ll never have a romantic relationship then say ‘lol suckers im aro now pay me!’

Put loads of pride stuff around the house until you have a pride house

Introduce your partner

Wear a pronoun badge

Wear a pride flag badge

Take them for a day out and surprise them by going to a pride festival

Write a bestselling pride novel

Get on the news and come out there

Play girl in red until they realise

Refuse bananas and say you prefer peaches visa versa

Get into a situation, declare youre too __ for this, walk out (😂)

Declare you’re magic and have the power to not fall for anyones sexual nature

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Helplines and websites:

IF YOU ARE IN DANGER CALL THE POLICE

Childline 08001111 (UK)

The National Runaway Safeline

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELPLINE (US)

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELPLINE (UK)

The Crisis Text Line Text START to 741-741 (US)

National Suicide Prevention Line

Trans Life Line

The National Runaway Safeline Provides advice and assistance to runaways, including resources, shelter, transportation, assistance in finding counseling, and transitioning back to home life.

The Trevor Project tap three times to exit quickly

LGBT National Hotline

The True Colours United The True Colors Fund is working to end homelessness among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning youth, creating a world in which all young people can be their true selves

GLBT youth talkline Youth serving youth (up to age 25)

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If you have anything to add please do

Any Helplines must be in the same format at as these (Bold, red and any extra information on what they do)

REBLOGS ENCOURAGED

I will be monitoring Reblogs to make sure they are respectful.