excapethematrix

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“Your Behavior Diminishes Your Message”

This past Thursday night was the season finale of Braxton Family Values and we saw the conclusion of their intense family therapy session with Iyanla Vanzant. Over the years the sisters have had squabbles, like most siblings do, but they can never seem to get on a path of true growth and mature communication. We’ve watched them to go counseling multiple times on this show and even go to Bishop TD Jakes for help, but nothing seemed to quite stick. They often say that they’re trying to get back to “where they were,” but after watching the show for years, I wonder how successful their communication was before their issues with each other grew. This time the sisters called on the help of Iyanla to help them, but not everyone was prepared for her brash and in your face type of counseling.

It is important to note that for this particular family, a lot of their communication problems stem from their parents. This is true for many of us, whether we want to admit it or not. A lot of our parents didn’t have the necessary tools or methods to teach us about a number of different things. And it doesn’t make them bad people if they didn’t know. They just didn’t know. No one taught them those skill sets. It’s not to excuse their behavior, or even the behavior we learn from them because at a certain point there has to be accountability across the board. These women, for example, are all over forty years old, and not saying that age guarantees you will be smarter or wiser, but along the way of living you should gain certain tools. A lot of adults still communicate or behave as children – and not diminishing their feelings or their points of view, but the fact that they haven’t matured their ways of thinking is a problem. They can’t handle disagreements without yelling. A dissenting opinion is act attack on their character. Every time someone disagrees or shares their feelings they’re starting an argument. How often do we encounter people that do these things? How often does that infuriate and enrage us that they haven’t learned the communication skills that we have? But, how many of us are these people? Or how many of us don’t use these moments with others to try to show them a better way? Is that even our job?

The Braxtons have and will always be entertaining, at least to me, but we should all remember that one person cannot fix your life. And it shouldn’t be their job to. It’s up to each and every one of us to do our own work towards our own healing. Iyanla can only give them the tools, which she openly states, that the real work begins after she leaves. It’s up to them whether or not they apply they lessons, but for us the viewers, after we finish live-tweeting and discussing with our friends, are we making the steps towards being and doing better? We all have things we haven’t fully gotten over. We all have things that we’ve been afraid to deal with, but what would our lives look like if we confronted those things and attained true peace? Iyanla told Tamar Braxton that “her behavior diminishes her message.” How many of us act out without realizing that we’re hiding our insecurities? How many of us are loud and in your face because we feel like we have to be defensive? When we will tell that little boy or girl inside of us that we don’t have to protect them anymore because they’ve survived? Healing isn’t easy. And it’s not meant to be, but it’s necessary.

#braxntonfamilyvalues #thspodcast #excapethematrix #cultureofpop

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY31)

Writing 100 words for 30 days was not easy. The truth is I came up short quite a bit during the month of March. However, I consider it a blessing that I did it anyway. I proved to me where I am, and how far I have to go. I knocked out my 30 days, but the fact that I didn’t achieve this daily, shows me what I need to work on. I’m grateful to my dear friend, Chavez for challenging me, especially because he believed I was still writing daily. This awakened something in me, something I needed deeply.

#100for30challenge #ETM #excapethematrix #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #peace #love #light #senseiraven #ravo38

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY30)

How often do you focus on the positive things in life? Ask yourself that. When situation after situation arises, how often do you find yourself leaning heavily into the darkness? How often do you connect deeply to your light? Do you find happiness and joy in more things than you find stress and anger? Are you centered physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Do you trust your gut, or do you ignore it? How often do you do the work to get back to the middle? How often do you ask yourself these questions? How often do you have the answers?

#100for30challenge #ETM #excapethematrix #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #balance #seekbalance #yinyang

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY29)

Laughter is healing. Nobody understands that more than The Misfits of #Storytellers. 2018 would’ve been ST’s 10 year Anniversary. All year long we’ll be celebrating by showing videos and pictures from 2008 to 2011, as well as our two shows we had in the years that followed.

 Here you’ll see a pic from our photo shoot with Daryl Taylor. This photo shoot was in preparation of our 2016 Storytellers event. We had an absolute blast shooting it.

 To check out our videos from past ST performances, head to our YouTube channels:

www.youtube.com/ravenekundayo and/or www.youtube.com/ravolutionllc

 Share vids/pics by using hashtag #ST10

#100for30challenge #ETM #excapethematrix #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #storytellers #openmic #misfits #misfituniverse

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY28)

The 3rd installment of #TheHealingSpacePodcast Black, Queer and Unapologetic series is now available. We discuss how our queerness is viewed by society (positively and negatively), some of our mental health healing practices, our favorite Black Queer authors, and so much more. We’re joined by George Hill and @iamcanade. Click on the link below and enjoy the conversation. Don't forget to leave a comment on our website or on #SoundCloud. Also, if you have Apple Podcast, please leave a review and rate us as well. Thank you to those who continue to spread the word about us, it means the world.

http://wearethelovemovement.com/podcasts/ths-podcast-ep-27-black-queer-and-unapologetic/

#100for30challenge #excapethematrix #ETM #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #thspodcast #thehealingspacepodcast #black #queer #unapologetic #blackqueerpodcast

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY27)

Because I’ve been treated like shit, I can treat others like shit.

Because I’ve been oppressed, I can oppress others.

Because I’ve been bullied, I can then bully others.

 My pain trumps the pain of anyone else.

I’m no different from those I claim to hate.

Blind and insecure rage.

 This toxic way of thinking has eXisted for far too long. And instead of people speaking out against it, they champion it. A colosseum full of broken people, throwing souls into the center to see who will tear the other apart first. Hypocrisy is lauded and disguised as being “woke”.

#100for30challenge #excapethematrix #ETM #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #woke #coon #fauxtep #bamboozled #broken #hypocrites

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY26)

People carry lifetimes in their eyes. The one they’re currently living, and many lives that came long before. Their joy, their pain, the light of what has been let go, and the darkness of what they cling to. It’s true that people can look you directly in your eyes and lie to you, but they can only get away with said lies if you don’t care to know the truth, their truth. Therefore, I make it my business to always look people directly in their eyes. For their eyes will always tell a truth, that one’s lips and actions won’t.

#100for30challenge #excapethematrix #ETM #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #eyes #lies

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY25)

Silence can be beautiful. It provides time to center oneself, connect to oneself...to heal. In silence it’s you and your thoughts. This can be scary for some, the idea of facing the rawness in these moments of stillness. However, growth is found here. Facing your deepest thoughts allows you the opportunity to challenge them head on, to grow in or out of them. While many people believe silence can lead to the discovery of things you’re not prepared to face, think of what comes from constant outside noise. The chaos you can’t control.

Seek peace in silence...and then Rise Higher.

#100for30challenge #excapethematrix #ETM #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #silence

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY24)

I don’t shy away from sharing my full journey, I’m transparent on social media and definitely on my podcast. However, the internet is much like local and international news. It’s constant negativity with sprinkles of positivity. Why would I want to contribute to darkness? What about balance. I can share that life isn’t easy, without making that my online brand. Positivity isn’t popular, I know many see it as fake...but I don’t want to contribute to the stress/sadness of the world. I don’t want to get online every day and share my pain with others who may be hurting already.

#100for30challenge #excapethematrix #ETM #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #balance

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY23)

My friends are varied. I often must remind myself that I’m blessed to still have a nice amount of people who I can call friends. I’ve had so many dark spirits enter and eXit my life, that I often forget that I have some wonderful people at a distance in my life. And we must remember that; just because people aren’t around every day, it doesn’t mean they don’t care. I’ve been on both sides of this. Most people are only a call or text away. Pour light into those who pour light into you. Celebrate healthy and positive relationships.

#100for30challenge #excapethematrix #ETM #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #friends #friendship #relationships

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY22)

To get to a point in the Black community where we can discuss Mental Health openly; we must first acknowledge that it eXists. This has been a problem for too long. Thankfully many of us are beginning to talk about it openly. Also, as a Light Coach, I know that there are several ways to seek help when it comes to centering yourself mentally and emotionally. I’ve been blessed to help many people pull back the layers of pain and sadness, to find the beauty in who they truly are. Mental Illness is real, but defeating it is as well.

#100for30challenge #excapethematrix #ETM #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #mental health #mentalillness #therapy #lifecoach #lightcoach

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY21)

I started meditating around the age of 14. I learned meditation from my teacher, Maria Broom, at The Baltimore School For The Arts. Meditation changed my life. As a teenager who battled depression, meditation centered me. I learned yoga at a young age, but that didn’t stick with me year after year, meditation did. I can’t remember a time in my life, after I began, that I ever stopped meditating. This is why it has meant so much to me to teach others to meditate. Being a guide to assist others in seeing the fullness of themselves is a blessing.

#100for30challenge #excapethematrix #ETM #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #meditation #chakras #backtothemiddle #om #namaste

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY20)

When you put a great deal of who you are into a romantic relationship, you have to spend just as much time getting all of you back once it’s over. Rushing into another romantic union on a half tank is unfair to the other person, as well as to the potential relationship you plan to build with them. You’re not the only one in the relationship, LETS BE CLEAR. Love and respect the other individual/s enough to give them all of you, not some of you. If you’re not ready for this, you shouldn’t pursue them. Do the work...

Don’t.Rush.Love

#100for30challenge #excapethematrix #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #ETM #blackqueerlove #lgbtq #dontrushlove

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY19)

Its been over a year since someone came forth to tell their story for my "No Fear. No Shame." campaign. So for March, Ron Canade chose to share his truth, in hopes that it helps and heals someone else. Read about his journey of self love and acceptance, and leave a comment if you like. Thank you, Ron.

If you or someone you know in the LGBTQ community would like to share how they've overcome or continue to overcome their Fears/Shame, please inbox me and let me know. I would love to provide a space for you/them to do so.

#100for30challenge #excapethematrix #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #nofearnoshame #lgbtq #blackandqueer

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100 FOR 30 CHALLENGE (DAY18)

I always laugh when people attempt to assure me that it’s ok to be thick. Trust me, I KNOW it’s ok to be this size. I’m not ashamed of my waist, that my inner thighs touch, that I have a stomach. I’m not ashamed of any of it. I’m fit and @ almost 40 I’m in great shape. So I really wish people would stop assuming that just because someone doesn’t have a six pack, or a wide thigh gap, they must be miserable. Some of us love and celebrate our thickness. And if we’re not complaining...why are you consoling?

#nudeyoga #100for30challenge #yoga #excapethematrix #ETM #Ravolution #ravolutionmultimedia #thickness #thickyogi