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elzandi · 4 years

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Review: The Hate U Give - Angie Thomas

5 Stars

“Starr lives in two worlds: the poor neighbourhood where she was born and raised and her posh high school in the suburbs. The uneasy balance between them is shattered when Starr is the only witness to the fatal shooting of her unarmed best friend, Kahlil, by a police officer. Now what Starr says could destroy her community. It could also get her killed. “

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The Hate U Give (THUG) is author, Angie Thomas’, debut novel. It is nothing sort of a trailblazer in the contemporary YA fiction genre. Thomas has written a relevant and poignant novel that deals with some of the harshest racial prejudices in today’s society.

THUG follows the story of Starr as she navigates the death of her childhood friend and the aftermath that causes. Through Starr’s narrative, Thomas handles the everyday racism that black people have to face from school to a courtroom and everything in between. It is a brutally honest, emotional and thought-provoking story, that in my opinion every Young Adult should read.

Thomas hails from Georgetown in Mississippi an area that has its fair share of “ghetto culture”. In interviews, Thomas has recounted a memory of being at the park when “two drug dealers decided to recreate a Wild West shoot-out”. It’s from experiences like these and the stories of young black Americans (Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice, Mike Brown etc.) that Thomas was able to write THUG; a story that she felt YA audiences needed to hear.

One of the things that I loved about this book was the character building. Every character felt realistic, which makes it hard to pin down a favourite for me. With that being said, I think Seven just about takes the lead. His plotline shows a diversity and complexity that the other characters don’t have. His character is, in several parts of the books, resemblant of “The Hate U Give Little Infants Fuck Everybody.” If he was born into a different circumstance, without the grounding of his father and step-mum he wouldn’t really stand a chance. I love that Thomas doesn’t skirt around that reality either.

As a reader, I am someone that likes to be kept guessing. THUG didn’t keep me guessing, but it’s purpose isn’t to keep its audience guessing. It’s purpose it shine a light on the #blacklivesmatter movement and educate the reader about why it is needed. The inescapable reality of the story being told is what kept gripped whilst reading THUG. It gave me hope that something was going to change, and when it didn’t, it made me stop and think about that and why that is still allowed to happen.

All the characters in THUG are so well-developed and written, it's hard to choose a favourite. That being said, I think Seven was the character that I most enjoyed reading about. As a young man, he has to face and overcome a lot - Thomas makes it easy to see how he could fall into the stereotypical teenage boy that was raised in the ghetto.

There is very little that I can negatively comment on when it comes to this novel, The world and characters Thomas has written are well-developed and realistic, which all adds to the impactfulness that this story has achieved. I agree with Thomas that this is a story that needed telling as it will open the eyes of any reader. It is a helpful reminder of precautions that need to be taken, and more importantly, social paradigms that need to be thought about and fixed.

This is a book targeted towards a YA audience, therefore I would recommend this book for ages 14+. As an adult, I still really enjoyed this book and was able to take a lot away from it, so I would recommend anyone interested in social equality and racial equality to give a go.

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elzandi · 5 years

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Birth Story!

Finn about an hour after he made his entrance.

Someone that I know (let’s call her ‘Beth’) recently put up an Instagram about the birth of her son via C-Section. She posted this with best intentions of promoting April as Cesarean Awareness Month, but some of the content in her caption has inspired me to look further into C-section and natural birth and share my birth story. I’m hoping that what I write, I write without bias and I am aiming to give a full and well-educated picture of labour and birth.

From the word go, I knew that I wanted to give birth as naturally as possible, and I’m very fortunate that I was able to have Finn with only minimal intervention by the doctors and midwives that looked after me. For Beth, her baby was in breach and growing at too fast of a rate for her body, meaning she was put forward for an elective c-section. I think everyone that has been through it, can agree that birthing a child is painful no matter which way you do it. So it bothered me that Beth has written off how hard natural labour and birth can be as she testifies that a C-Section is the harder experience. Amongst other parts of her post, this seems really quite misguided; especially considering you really can’t comment on which is harder if you haven’t experienced both.

In 2017, 11.5% of UK mothers had planned C-sections. A planned C-Section is performed at 39 weeks. By performing the surgery at 39 weeks any risk for the baby’s health is majorly reduced as well as risks to the mother. For a elective c-section that mother generally has to have a medical condition (diabetes, high blood pressure or an infection that can be passed to the baby, such as HIV) or the baby poses difficulty in labour (the baby is in a breach position or if the mother is carrying twins). One of the perks with an elective c-section is that it’s, for the majority, predictable and calm compared to a natural birth.

Instead of turning up at the hospital on a chosen date and time, I made the call to my mum that “it was time” at 2:30am after not being able to get comfortable enough to sleep, and my contractions starting to ramp up. I had a sweep 6 days before I went into labour, at which point I was 3cm dilated. My midwife warned that when the baby decided it was time to come, it was probably going to be quick. 13.5 hours of labour says otherwise. A c-section takes out that time in labour, with the average c-section surgery taking just over an hour (15-20 minutes to deliver the baby and 45 minutes to stitch everything back up).

Another thing that Beth mentions in her post is that during a c-section, a woman's “organs are torn out and put back together like a jigsaw”. This is entirely inaccurate and scaremongering at its best. Though c-sections are considered major surgery, no organs are taken out of your stomach - honestly, they don’t flop your intestines out - the only parts of you that are affected are your abdomen and your uterus, both of which are cut open to give access to the baby. If any organs are touched by the surgeon, it’ll be your intestines and bladder, and it’ll only be to nudge them out of the way for a better view of the uterus.

Diagram of a C-section

Compared to a relatively short procedure, labour and natural birth is long and physically gruelling on your body. My mum cleverly explained labour to me as feeling “like toothache in your belly.” It goes from an uncomfortable throbbing to having you double bent in a pain that radiates throughout your body. I have a very high pain threshold - something labour definitely validated to everyone - but I dreaded the 2 hourly dilation checks by the midwives. PJ counted down the time to the next one as a form of encouragement to get me through it, but it didn’t make me look forward to them any more. It doesn’t hurt, let me just make that clear, but when your body is going through the throes of labour someone touching and prodding at you is the last thing you want.

Eventually, after about 11-12 hours I was told that I could push - I’d been wanting to push since I was 7cm about 3 hours earlier, but was told “to fight the urge” - after around 1.5-2 hours of moving into various positions and pushing for my life, my contractions completely died off due to exhaustion. The midwives had tried to feed me toast to give me energy several times, but I just threw it back up. At that point I was taken to a different area of the labour ward and hooked up to a drip of Pitocin to reboot my contractions. I remember asking the senior midwife how long it would take to kick in, I’d literally finished the question and went into very powerful contractions, which would eventually see Finn born.

Finn was born at 16:55pm on the 20th of August and was a “kiwi birth”. A kiwi birth is the medical term for a baby delivered via ventouse. A ventouse is a suction device that is attached to the top of your baby’s head; when you experience a contraction the obstetrician or midwife will gently pull on the device to help birth the baby. In order to get Finn out, I was also given a small procedure called an episiotomy. An episiotomy is the widening of your vagina; a small incision is made along your perineum in order to make delivery easier. If you have any intervention, such as ventouse or forceps, you’ll probably have this procedure. It does add to your postpartum recovery time and is really uncomfortable. I had to sit on pillows for about 2 weeks after Finn’s birth to help with the pain and soreness. The recovery time after a natural birth is substantially less than that of having a C-section; my episiotomy cut took just over a month to heal completely with an OCD level of personal hygiene downstairs to prevent any infection. Women that deliver via C-section, on average, spend twice as long in hospital and have a recovery time of at least 6 weeks. The placement of the post-surgery scar means that it is painful and your mobility is greatly reduced. Knowing how busy I was with Finn in the first month after his birth, I can imagine that this does make those first 6 weeks very difficult for mothers.

I experienced above average blood loss during birth, nothing too scary but it warranted taking iron tablets for the month afterwards. I was lucky that I was looked after by a team of excellent doctors and midwives that stopped the situation getting out of control and potentially causing unnecessary trauma to me, both physically and mentally. Some of the not so lucky women can develop a condition called Tokophobia, which is overwhelming anxiety associated with a traumatic previous birth and often leads to mothers choosing elective C-sections for subsequent children.

I could go into the the risk that vaginal birth can potentially have with vaginal tearing and stretching, however your midwives monitor this throughout you labour and will intervene if you are at risk of either of these.

Another associated problem with C-sections is that they make breastfeeding harder after delivery. I know that this is something that Beth struggled with. However, so did I; and out of the two of us, Beth is the only one that was able to continue breastfeeding her son for any length of time. I had to stop after 2 weeks with Finn as my milk production was far too low for what he needed, and I put this, in part, down to the fact that my body was trying to recover from the trauma of his birth. It was healing that bits that needed healing and shutting off the bits that it didn’t see as entirely necessary at that point. This means that Finn has been formula fed for essentially all of his life so far, but that’s another story for another time.

And so concludes my birth story, and passive-aggressive rant at Beth. All I will say is that childbirth takes it toll on your body, regardless of how you deliver. The whole “one way is harder than the other” school of thought needs to stop. It can create unnecessary pressure, fear and guilt for expectant mothers, which really isn’t where their focus needs to be. As long as mum and baby are healthy and thriving at the end of their birthing journey, that is all that matters.

If you do have any worries or concerns about any element of pregnancy, labour or birth, speak with your midwife. She’ll be able to offer some advice or signpost to someone that can help.

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#birth story #mum blogger #mum blog #labour #birth #parenthood #medical #expectantmother #pregnancy #pregnant #baby #pregnancyadvice #pregnancysupport #csection #naturalbirth

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elzandi · 5 years

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Review: Fire & Blood - George R.R Martin

5 Stars

Anyone who knows me, know that my main “fandom” is Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire (ASOIAF) which made Fire & Blood a must read for me. This is part one of two books that provide a detailed history of the Targaryen dynasty during their rule of Westeros. The second part is yet to be released.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I am always captivated by George R R Martin’s work; his world-building is just on another level, paired with the unpredictability that he is notorious for, just makes for a thrilling read. I had one hesitation going into this book: it was going to be boring. When someone mentions “history of….” it always has the potential to be long-winded and dry in subject matter. I should know, I have a degree in it! However, Martin defies this reputation. His descriptions of people, battles and events are just as engaging as his work in ASOIAF. Plus, dragons...so.many.dragons.

If you haven’t read ASOIAF, I think this book would be considered a long and lacking read. For those that have read ASOIAF, read it! It is packed full of stories that are mentioned throughout the series, like King Jaehaerys and Queen Alysanne’s visit to The Wall. It fills in the details that Martin misses in his fleeting mentions.

One addition that I wasn’t expecting, but really appreciated were the illustrations. Drawn by Doug Wheatley, a decorated Comic Book artist, I felt that they just added something extra whilst you were powering through the 700+ pages. Even though it was such a small difference, I feel that the illustrations are going to give the Fire & Blood books their own unique identity in the ASOIAF world.

As I’ve mentioned, this book is 700+ pages, so if you’re looking for a quick read, this ain’t it. I had always wanted to know more about the Targaryen’s and their significance in Westerosi history, which made this such an interesting read for me. But, it still takes quite a bit of commitment to get through it. I can only read one book at a time, and my life is pretty hectic so this took me a good while to get through, because of its size it’s not like I could just chuck it in my bag when I went out either.

As with anything Game of Thrones related, I don’t want to go into too much detail and spoil anything for future readers, but this is my first 5 star read in quite a while.

If you’re looking to read ASOIAF, I wouldn’t say this book is the best jumping off point, but it would provide a useful insight into the world.

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elzandi · 5 years

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International Women’s Day ‘19

Women are so fucking cool they get their own goddamn day. To the men who start with "where's international men's day?" I say as your mother most likely did - and probably still does -sit down, behave and shut the fuck up.

This is my first IWD as a mum, and though I could say how much I want Finn to grow up treating women with respect and as equals, I still think actions really do speak louder than words whilst raising and shaping a child's perspective on the world. Rest assured, much like his dad, he will be a gem that speaks out in support of women's rights.

However, it's been a while since I've done anything book related, so I'm going to list my Top 5 fictional females in honour of today:

1 - Elizabeth Bennett, Pride & Prejudice

In terms of the time period and social paradigm that she's written in, Elizabeth Bennett is a trailblazer of a woman. She refuses to settle for Mr Collins and is persistently headstrong, intelligent and witty throughout Pride & Prejudice - all traits which wouldn't have been well received by gentlemen back then. Elizabeth Bennett is arguably one of the first females that introduced me to feminism, and for that she deserves unconditional respect.

2 - Tris Prior, Divergent Series

I remember being blown away by The Hunger Games, then picking up Divergent and thinking Tris is Katniss with more grit. I resonated quite deeply with Tris and she's stayed with me. She didn't deserve the end that she got...something I'm still disappointed about after all these years.

3 - Nina, Nina Is Not Ok

First off, if you haven't read Nina Is Not Ok, do it! My friend lent it me, and the words to explain it still escape me. I read Nina Is Not Okay after getting out of a bit of a rut myself and I think that's why it had such an impact on me. Nina could be you, your friend or an acquaintance. Nina is a young woman that pulls through despite all the odds thrown at her. More importantly she is real, and sometimes I think that's really lacking in a fictional character.

4 - Arya Stark, A Song of Ice & Fire Saga

It would seem I have a love for fictional women who have to potential to be a damsel in distress, but just divert to a course of their own. Arya does this. From her first appearance in A Game of Thrones, Arya is always dancing to a different beat than any of the other female characters. Feisty, skillful, fiercely loyal and downright badass, I'd raise any daughter I have to be like Arya.

5 - Hermione Granger, Harry Potter

I mean, would a list of strong female fictional characters be complete without Hermione? Intelligent, hardworking and (again) a total badass. Everyone should aspire to have a bit of Hermione to them. She's another trailblazer that really helped to shape the woman that I wanted to be when I grew up.

Happy women's day to all you ladies. Be confident, be strong, be kind and be yourself!

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elzandi · 5 years

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Travel Journal: Bali

The first holiday that PJ and I discussed was Bali; he seemed as taken by the idea of this idyllic paradise as I did. More importantly, it’s one of the only places in the world that PJ hasn’t been to, which only added to the attraction. Just under a year later, I was more than ready to go. Being five-months pregnant and facing 18 hours of travel couldn’t even dampen my spirits.

We had an afternoon flight from Manchester to Doha for a 2 hour layover, then onwards to Denpasar, Bali. This was my first long-haul flight, and honestly, it wasn’t bad. We flew with Qatar, so we had access to a good variety of in-flight entertainment - the film “Wonder” caused me a tiny hormonal breakdown on the journey home. My only negative would be the plane food breakfast; those eggs made me heave...I think that would still apply without a baby in my belly.

In the months leading up to the holiday, we really researched what we could do in Bali. Even though it’s a small island, there as so many different experiences to be had, depending on where you stay. We started our holiday off in Seminyak, where I was surprised with a few nights in The Oberoi (perks of having a partner who works in travel). We enjoyed our stay at the hotel so much that when we go to Mauritius in a few months, we’ve booked to stay at The Oberoi there as well.

Seminyak is a beautiful place, it’s right on the beach and is a hub for bars and restaurants. They have some really famous names, like Potato Head Beach Club, which we visited. However, there are far better places, such as: The Fat Turtle, I’m still gutted that I was having a bout of morning sickness so couldn’t eat anything there; Revolver for literally the most amazing coffee, they also do really cool merch where they send part of the profit to fund local communities; and La Plancha which is the perfect place to watch the sunset on the beach, they also make a killer Mojito mocktail.

In his pre-planning PJ had found a place called Pretty Poison, just outside of Seminyak in a town called Canggu. This is one of the only places on the holiday that had me thinking “I really wish I could drink right now”. If you want somewhere off-the-beaten-track, I really recommend here. It’s an indie/grunge bar that has a skate bowl out the back. It makes for a cool place to sit and chill with a few beers, or in PJ’s case a few straight rums with coconut ice.

From Top Left: Cocktail at Potato Head, The Fat Turtle, Pretty Poison Skate Bar and La Plancha

We spent three days in Seminyak, which proved to be a good base to explore the more touristy areas of Bali. We ventured over to Kuta for an evening, which is very much the tourist centre. Wherever we go, we always visit a Hard Rock Cafe in honour of PJ’s dad. As we arrived at the Hard Rock in Kuta, they were celebrating Earth Hour, so the Cafe was lit entirely with candles, which was a cool thing to walk into.

After our stay in Seminyak, we went up to Ubud, where we stayed in a hotel called Max One. Honestly, it was a step down from The Oberoi, but their rooftop pool was amazing! After walking around Ubud for a while, we realised that we weren’t going to be able to explore as much as we usually would. Being pregnant and wandering around in soaring temperatures and humidity just made it a bit of a chore. However, we still managed some really cool things! If you’re looking for culture - and animals - you cannot skip Ubud.

We headed out to The Sacred Monkey Forest on our first day there. This place is full to the brim with Balinese Long-tailed Monkeys, which you can feed on your way around. I cannot stress how insane they go when they figure out you have food. Walking through the forest trying to keep monkeys from pinching your belongings or untying your bikini is a great way to spend a few hours.

As we were trying to figure out less strenuous things to do after I’d been led on over an hour’s walk to a place called Naughty Nuri’s (my food highlight), PJ stumbled upon the website for Bali Zoo, who were advertising ‘Dinner with the Elephant’. I love elephants, so after checking it was all above board, we booked tickets to go the next night. I am SO glad that we did.

After being given a couple of hours to wander around the zoo after closing time, you’re then escorted over to a different area of the zoo. Here, you get to meet the elephants for the first time! And by meet them, I mean you get to go up to them, feed them and interact with them. I was incredibly overwhelmed at that point, but PJ said that has never seen me that happy in the entire time we’ve been together. Just the memory of it, still makes my whole body smile now. After a couple of photo opportunities, we were left to wander through an area of the zoo where keepers were letting you see and interact with different animals like snakes, Asian Bear Cats (or Bintourang) and baby Orangutans before you sat down to a buffet dinner. After dinner, you get another chance to meet the elephants and their mahouts; I literally walked up and down the line of them until they had to leave. In between all of this, the zoo put on different shows, from traditional Indonesian dances to more animal interactions. It cost along the lines of £50 for two of us. I’d do it again in a heartbeat at twice that price. That is how good it was!

For the last 2 nights, PJ pulled out all of the stops and got us our own private pool villa at the Four Seasons, Sayan. This was such a great end to the holiday. We didn’t really leave the resort over the time we spent there, but chose to spend it chilling out, reading by the pool and ordering hot dogs to help my cravings!

The Views from the pool at the Four Seasons

Bali is a beautiful place, with something for everyone, whether you want to explore or just have a chilled out holiday. I think, in the future, we’ll definitely go back; there’s just so much more that we can see and do, and it’s somewhere I can’t wait to share with Finn.

*All Pictures are taken by myself or PJ (@travellingrumbaron on Instagram)

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elzandi · 5 years

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REVIEW: The Penelopiad - Margaret Atwood

4 STARS

Penelope. Immortalised in legend and myth as the devoted wife of the glorious Odysseus, silently weaving and unpicking and weaving again as she waits for her husband’s return. Now Penelope wanders the underworld, spinning a different kind of thread: her own side of the story - a tale of lust, greed and murder.

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The Penelopiad is Margaret Atwood’s addition to the Canongate Myth Series, which features several famed writers rewriting myths from around the world. Atwood chose to focus on a retelling of the wife of Odysseus, Penelope. She is known for being a loyal and devoted wife throughout their marriage, but Atwood’s retelling puts a great spin on the myths of old.

I picked this book up as I had wanted to read something by Atwood for some time. This book is just short of 200 pages, so I thought it would be the perfect sample of her writing style. I was not disappointed. Atwood has created an engrossing and intelligent story from the original myth. I also really love mythology, so I really really enjoyed reading this.

The story is written as a memoir of Penelope, who resides in the ‘gloomy halls of Hades’. It tackles topics of greed, jealousy and false heroism. Penelope’s story is a huge differentiation from the known myth and Atwood offers some more theological solutions to the untimely end that her maids meet. Penelope is written as a tender-hearted character, and though her story is one of waiting on a man, Atwood has managed to create a story of feminism from her. The retelling is so unique and clever that I found this book hard to put down. As Penelope is the cousin of Helen of Troy, she features quite heavily in this book, and is arguably my favourite character. I love the way that Atwood has built her character around her looks, making her smug, conceited and so self-obsessed - I just loved reading her.

I really want to give this 5 stars (that’s how impressed I am with it), but due to my limited knowledge of Odysseus, I can’t - this book will lead me to falling down a large number of internet rabbit holes on him though. Atwood pieces together the elements of his story that you need to know to get you through this book; because of this, I’d say it would be a good entryway for anyone that is looking to dip into mythology.

I felt that this is a YA novel at its heart, so just about anyone can read it. I’d especially recommend if you have an interest in mythology.

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elzandi · 5 years

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Reads & Resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I haven’t updated for a while as the Christmas period was all systems go, and any downtime I did have I wanted to spend with my family and friends. As I have a couple of spare moments, I thought I would do a quick post.

2018 was a mad year, starting with the unexpected news that I was pregnant and basically just gearing up and adapting to life as a parent. All of this meant that I only managed to read 10 books throughout 2018. Therefore, I have made some “bookish” resolutions for this year:

Read 25 books (ever the optimist!)

Join the library

Read more of the books that I own

Widen my reading genres

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know that I have already joined our local library. I haven’t been a member of a library since high school. It’s such a good resource for grabbing books that you don’t know if you’ll like, which helps on the “wanting to widen my reading genres”. It’ll no doubt be an invaluable reading resource - and it’ll make me read to a deadline as well which is never a bad thing.

Christmas bought me a book voucher, which has allowed me to grab a couple books (looking good on that “read more books that I own” resolution). These were really highly rated last year - it seemed to be the year of Maas on Bookstagram, she was literally every other post - so have earned a space in my TBR. Here’s a quick rundown of what I bought:

The Hate U Give, Angie Thomas - A story of a girl between two class barriers. This book is meant to be extremely moving. It covers issues that we still have with race and class that we have in today’s society. It has a Goodreads rating of 4.55 and of all the reviews I’ve seen of it, nobody has a bad word to say about it. It’s been a while since I’ve read a contemporary novel, so I’m looking forward to this one.

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, Becky Chambers - This is a story of a woman that joins the crew of a ship that is sent to a distant planet and all the trouble that entails. Again, this is really highly rated (4.17) on Goodreads. One of my favourite Bookstagrammers also put this as one of her favourite reads for 2018. My favourite genres to read are fantasy and sci-fi - this was shortlisted for the sci-fi book of the year, so I’m expecting great things.

The Assassin’s Blade, Sarah J Maas - I caved. I bought the first one in the Throne of Glass series to see what the fuss is all about. This books is about a young girl that is duty-bound to hunt down her trainer’s enemies, and by the looks of it enter into a bit of a forbidden love scenario. To me, it seems like it will be a really strong YA novel.

My favourite read of 2018 was The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris. I have a review under the “books” tab if you want to check that out! I loved it.

Anyway, as Finn is still fast asleep, I am off to continue reading Fire & Blood.

Over & Out

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#book #books #bookworm #bookish #bookyeah #booknerdigan #tbrpile #blog #blogger #tumblog #reading #currently reading #ElzAndi #2019 #resolutions

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elzandi · 5 years

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When we found out I was pregnant, one of the first things that PJ and I discussed was how we wouldn’t let it stop us from travelling. Travelling has always been a huge part of PJ’s life and has become a big part of mine since we’ve been together. Not only that, but both of us believe that travelling is one of the greatest things that we can give to Finn. He was always destined to be well travelled.

Finn is now 4 months old and has been abroad twice. Once when he was a month old for his uncle’s wedding in Malta, and a second time to Paris. I have read a couple of things about travelling with children when they’re a bit older, but there doesn't seem to be too much on travelling with a baby in tow. In fact, most people seem to be against flying with a baby under 6 months unless absolutely necessary. Though I agree with that to an extent - I think long haul before 6 months is definitely too much - I thought I would do a blog of my experiences of travelling with a tiny human and how it isn’t as detrimental to your baby or as scary as the mum forums like to make out. Just follow your usual pillars of being a good mum:

Have confidence in what you’re doing

Talk to your baby

Remain calm in the face of absolutely everything

Prepare

I’ll start with navigating the airport, which for a parent is probably the most daunting bit of the entire thing. 3 words: WEAR YOUR BABY! Honestly, collapse your pushchair, check it into the hold and forget about it. If you get caught up in queues or the waiting lounge is particularly busy, it’s going to get in the way; more than likely, a flight attendant is going to check it into the hold at the gate anyway. More importantly, it allows your to breeze through the airport and I have found that an extra perk of wearing Finn is that if he’s awake, there’s enough to distract and entertain him whilst you get on with doing the grown up stuff.

I mentally process the airport in 4 steps. It stops me from getting overwhelmed and potentially starting a cycle of chaos with Finn.

Check-in: Try to have your boarding pass readily printed or on your phone. PJ usually just has his on his phone ready to hand over. If you have to go through the “speedy check-in” where the machine weighs your luggage and prints the label, have one of you doing that whilst the other finds a check-in clerk, so that they’re ready and waiting to take off the fee for excess baggage that your pushchair is definitely going to cause.

Security: Get in the fast lane! Make sure that when you’ve packed your bag, all your liquids and electronics are at the top and ready to be taken out. Use separate trays for your baby’s things, too, so you can just throw everything back into the bag. Security will take any baby food or milk that you have in carry-on luggage and scan it, but I’m yet to be asked to taste it.

Waiting in the Lounge: Have some form of entertainment for your baby. I always carry teething keys for Finn; they’re compact and distract him like a dream if he’s being a grouch. Walk around and explore rather than setting up base in the airport bar - unless your baby is asleep, then give your back a well earned rest.

Boarding: Again, use the priority lane! As soon as your flight flashes up as boarding, head over to the gate. You want to be one of the first people on the plane to give yourself the time and space you need to get settled. If you’re not on a full flight, most of the time the flight attendants will try to move things around so you get a bit of extra room. Don’t be afraid to ask them if you think there may be a chance that you can spread out a little more.

Priority Lanes are your friend with a baby in tow. I cannot stress that enough. I’ve found this to be one of the perks of having a little one when travelling - you don’t need to wait at security or border control and get to be one of the first people on the plane so you can get yourself set up. Take full advantage of it!

I find the airport the most difficult part of flying with a baby. We’ve never really had a bad experience with Finn whilst flying (touch wood, we never will...haha! I am NOT that naive). He had a bit of a meltdown on the flight into Paris, which wasn’t pleasant - it involved me, him and the seat being covered in sick and an extremely leaky nappy, I guess the boy poos when stressed - but as long as you have a well stocked changing bag and an almost saintly level of patience, you’ll be okay. I think the key is, when your baby is stressed, don’t follow suit or it’s going to escalate very quickly.

For reference, my changing bag when going on an aeroplane is something along the lines of nappies, wipes and nappy bags; spare clothes, generally a sleepsuit and a short-sleeved babygrow; toys; a blanket; milk and bottles, I take 4 freshly sterilised bottles and some ready-made Cow & Gate formula that you can get bottled from the supermarket, this allows me to have a bottle ready in 2 seconds flat. It’s yet to fail me.

Finn is a really chilled out baby so the actual process of flying hasn’t be at all bad for us. When he was a month old, he was happy to curl up and fall asleep on me. This last time, he was coming on 4 months old. He slept until we took off, then stayed awake for the rest of the flight. When he got a bit restless all it took was PJ to sit him on the headrest of the empty seat in front and chatter with him to keep him entertained.

The only other piece of advice that I really have comes from one of PJ’s clients. Before we flew with Finn for the first time she advised “make sure your baby is sucking on a dummy or having a drink, helping to relieve the ear-popping.” I’ve always made sure that Finn is doing one or the other of those things, so apart from a tiny grizzle when we were landing in Malta and he point blank refused to do either, we’ve been lucky.

If any parents have any other tips and tricks when you’re flying, feel free to create a thread or send me a message. I really think that honest advice from parents and their experiences is so much more valuable that the forums out there. Quite frankly, they do my head in, but that’s a rant for another time.

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elzandi · 5 years

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Review: The End We Start From - Megan Hunter

4 Stars

This book was a gift from my partner shortly before I gave birth to our son. I’ve only just got around to reading it! I’m glad I waited as this is a book I felt that I connected with on a deeper level as the predominant theme is new parenthood.

I’ve seen a lot of rave reviews about The End We Start From for quite a while. Published in 2017, it have been nominated for several awards including Books Are My Bag and has won several more.

The story is a dystopian fantasy about a catastrophic flood that swamps Britain. Though the premise is one that is bleak and, at times, quite tragic, it is also filled with hope. The story starts with the lead character giving birth to a little boy which she names Z. The story then becomes so much more than just a fantasy. It shows the rawness of becoming a parent and the challenges it brings.

As a reader, I did find this story filled with emotion, more than likely because of the way Hunter explains the connection between a mother and her child. It is a very honest portrayal of motherhood, from holding Z for the first time to seeing him roll over and finding his first tooth. She artfully writes about the hope that your baby gives you and how nothing else seems to matter but them. Although becoming a parent is the main plot point, Hunter also explores the loss of a loved one, and - indirectly - the impact of how we treat the environment.

I found this a gripping read. I managed to read it in two sittings, which never happens. I am really impressed with how Hunter has created a story with so much heart in so little page numbers. This book is written in such a poetic way, which I’ve never come across in a dystopian novel before. It is a very unique read.

If you’re looking for a quick and enjoyable read, I would highly recommend this one. I particularly recommend to parents, new and old, as that is where the heart of the story was for me.

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