elijah-inmymind

[elijah-inmymind]

OH MY GOD SHUT UP U GUYS I AM THINKING ABOUT DVDS!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD. I LOVE DVDS. DISCS. HOLY SHIT U GUYS. HHHHHHHHHH.

GONNA BUY A PORTABLE DVD PLAYER AND THEN I’M GONNA WATCH BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN!!!!!!!!! I ALREADY HAVE BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN ON DVD BUT I HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET DUE TO NO DVD PLAYER.

AND THEN I’M GONNA FIND MY ROBOTS DVD AND I!!!! AM GOING!!!!!! TO WATCH!!!! ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S THE BEST MOVIE POSSIBLY EVER AND I REFUSE TO WATCH IT ONLINE. IT LIVES ON A DVD!!!

I CAN’T FIND MY ROBOTS DVD RN BUT OH BOY WHEN I DO!!!!! I WON’T BE ABLE TO WATCH IT BC I DON’T HAVE A DVD PLAYER YET. BUT ROBOTS!!!!! EXCITED FOR ROBOTS.

#and then i’m gonna watch my Addams Family dvd from my mum #and iRobot #and Chappie #and i’ll go on a hunt to find The Matrix so i can watch it all the time on my PORTABLE DVD PLAYER #“but u can just watch it on the internet” #okay??????????? #where’s the fucking joy in that????????????????? #no whimsy?? no nostalgia?? #no obsession with the technology of ur childhood that u never got to fully understand before it fell out of use?? #that lived such a short life in the grand scheme of the endless development of technology???? #this beautiful little blip in the history of technology and i get to use it to watch the best movie of all time. Robots (2002). #had to put this on pause for a sec to document my cat stepson giving me the most zooted look #mouth hangin open and everything #he’s a fucking weird cat #orange obviously #incredibly unhinged at all times #very very cute and sweet just the most good tempered cat you’ll ever meet #so so so fucking stupid #SO stupid #afraid of when u adjust ur legs when sitting on the couch to get more comfy #but not afraid of running into literally any and every solid surface he can #he once ran full tilt at my feet seemingly intending to phase right through them #no brace for impact no attack posture no hesitation at all it was like i wasn’t even there #and he was utterly shocked when i #a big lumbering giant #whacked him with my shin right in his skull so hard. like a soccer ball. just THUNK. #that’s a lie he was actually almost entirely unphased aside from looking at me like it was my fault #jesus christ #i’m gonna be so real with u man i forgot what i was doing #fuck me. no more yapping for tonight.

[elijah-inmymind]

personally victimised by the extremely loud nickelodeon opening at the start of every ATLA episode on netflix

#atla #el has a life

[elijah-inmymind]

solid advice from either shoulder

[elijah-inmymind]

i have never once looked up anything even remotely House-related on this site however it is my roommate’s favourite show so i see a lot of it and sorta half jokingly declare my shipping of House and Wilson frequently, bc they’re gay, and some part of my vibe has conveyed that to the tumblr algorithm bc despite it having no reason to do this at all i have seen erotic fanart of House and Wilson. tumblr has brought it to me like a cat with a dead rat.

#i’m so serious #house md #house x wilson #el has a life

[elijah-inmymind]

bang us a tune you’re the piano man

happy banging out the tunes day Neil

#neil banging out the tunes

[elijah-inmymind]

if horror game in horror genre, then why monster have scary face???? i want horror game!!! NO SCARY FACE!!!!!!!!! only horror game <3

#incoming ramble about scary faces in horror games spooking me too bad #just wish i could like listen to it like a podcast #i get this thing where a very particular genre of images #generally any scary character in analog horror will fit in that genre but yeah like big long distorted mouth realistic eyes usually #can be different tho #but yeah those images get stuck in my head and freak me out in a very intense instinctive almost like primal animalistic way #and when i say stuck in my head i mean i see them every time i close my eyes for hours on end after i so much as think about this image #i am not exaggerating when i say i see that image every time i blink #it’s not as bad if i’m just remembering it as opposed to having just seen it but it can be bad either way if i have a decent memory of it #and this causes intense paranoia #like yknow it’s behind me if my back is exposed it’s right in front of me if i’m in the dark it’s outside my window above my head etc etc #it’s really bad idk what’s going on with me but yeah it sucks bad dude i just have to avoid content like that at all costs #WHICH SUCKS SO MUCH #BC ANALOG HORROR ALWAYS HAS THE BESTTTTTT STORYLINES #IM SO MAD #THINGS LIKE THE MANDELA CATALOGS AND THE FUCKIN OTHER ONE YKNOW THE OTHER ONE HAS A H IN IT I THINK #SOUNDS SO INTERESTING STORY WISE #BUT I CANT FUCKING PLAY IT OR EVEN WATCH SOMEONE PLAY IT BC ID DRIVE MYSELF UP THE BLOODY WALL #EVEN THE MY LITTLE PONY INFECTION AU!!!!!! #I HAD TO BLOCK TAGS/KEYWORDS FOR MLP INFECTION ACROSS ALL PLATFORMS BC I GOT MY SHIT ROCKED BY TWILIGHT FUCKING SPARKLE #LITERALLY FURIOUS I LOVE THAT SHIT IT SOUNDS SO COOL BUT I CANT LOOK AT ANY ART FROM IT ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT IT GETS IN MY HEAD #ONCE I SAW A GOOD OMENS VIDEO AND IT WAS JUST A CUTE LITTLE DRAWING OF MURIEL!! CUTE SWEET PRECIOUS LITTLE OFFICER OF THE LAW!!!! #AND THEN AT THE END IT FLASHED A FRAME ALL CLOSE UP WITH THEIR FACE ALL TWISTED AND DISTORTED AND ELONGATED #SOILED MY BLOODY BREECHES I DID. CRAPPED MY BLASTED PANTALOONS I DID INDEED. #SAW THAT WRETCHED COP BEHIND MY EYELIDS FOR THE NEXT 45 MINUTES I DID. #THE WALTEN FILES THATS THE OTHER ONE #NO H IN IT #CANT WATCH IT YHO SO WHAT DO I CARE ABOUT THE H

[elijah-inmymind]

happy banging out the tunes day Neil

#neil banging out the tunes

[elijah-inmymind]

elon musk admitted under threat of perjury that this is his burner account

[elijah-inmymind]

“what is even your worth without anal? can you please sleep in here i’m so scared of my nightmares.”

#el has a life #i have two roommates a and b #this was said by b #first sentence was said to a #and then without any pause or break in her speech she turned and said the second sentence to me #and i will never be able to perfectly convey the priceless fucking delivery in text form but it was fucking hilarious #the switch from sneering bitchy (joke) response to a prior conversation about whether or not we’d give up anal sex for $1000 #to in the same breath really earnestly asking me if i can sleep on the couch in her room tonight bc she had a bad nightmare last night #(which i can’t do tonight bc i’m working early tomorrow and idk how well i’d sleep there :/ ) #(i’ve said tho that she can come wake me up if she has another one)

[elijah-inmymind]

Matt Smith is a missed opportunity for a femboy

#doctor who #dr who #matt smith #eleventh doctor #femboy #it’s femboy monday fellas way-oooooohh

[elijah-inmymind]

OUGH. CECIL NIGHT VALE AVATAR OF BEHOLDING.

sorry for yelling guys, i just heard him say “i need to See. i need to Report.” in a very eyebally manner, you understand.

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #wtnv ep 89 #cecil gershwin palmer #tma #the magnus archives #avatar of the eye #the beholding

[elijah-inmymind]

edgy teen that lives in my head hearing the music at work: heh… heheh… yknow, someone oughta take ooo wop wop sha-ooo wop wop away from Meghan Trainor… it’s getting old 😎

(alarms blaring, red lights flashing)

the cringe police that also live in my head bc being mean is cringe, speaking into a megaphone: HEY YOU! SOMEONE OUGHTA TAKE (loud erotic moans) AWAY FROM GERARD WAY! I’M GETTING HARD!!

#the actual events that happened in my brain today upon hearing another Meghan Trainor ooo wop wop sha-ooo wop wop song #which again i must emphasise she is entitled and encouraged to do #this is not Meghan Trainor hate #not music based at least idk what she’s like as a person #once again the lead singer of the band i’m obsessed with creams his jeans straight into the mic every other song #i couldn’t judge her even if i wanted to #my fate is sealed and i’m on the side of cringe my friend #you can put that little number on my tombstone when the cringe police finally catch up to me for all that phan shit back in high school #stay safe kids don’t ship real people #that sticks on ur cringe record til the day u die #el has a life

[elijah-inmymind]

isn’t it crazy how my boss is directly radicalising me by his own hand 5 and a half hours at a time and paying me money for it. like wow boss, thank you so much for showing me what a selfish greedy cruel heartless power hungry fucking pig looks like! why yes i will accept thousands of dollars in compensation!

#el has a life #my fucking tummy hurts #fuck managers #fuck work #fuck

[elijah-inmymind]

in every manner of speaking Brian David Gilbert is the hottest man alive. here is my evidence:

visually speaking? hoooo by golly by gum what a good lookin feller. hooooooooo BOYYYYYY what a handsome young man. MY eyes. are OPEN.

intellectually speaking? i am biting my lip to express my lust toward that wrinkly, wrinkly B-Brain (that’s Brian Brain). lemme at them ideas, boy. lemme root around in that think tank o yers.

comedically speaking? let me put it this way: in my favourite video of his he talks about Halo for 28 minutes. Halo is so incredibly objectively mid, and yet that is the video i look up when i want some of that sweet sweet BDG.

fashionably speaking? i love a man who knows his style, and i also love the buttons that blazers and waistcoats have, specifically. the buttons on button-up shirts and the little fly zips on dress pants are pretty good too. this is a harmonious and deeply sexy coincidence.

spiritually speaking? the way this man dances. speaks to me. ‘interpretive dance’ well shoot babygirl you best consider me INTERPRETING.

autistically speaking? once as a kid he ate pretty much only mushrooms for like a week and i can get behind that. also he rewrote the Pokérap to include an educational section condemning the US government’s approach to drugs (HOT!!!) and a dream ballet, and taught me the word Gesamtkunstwerk.

Microsoft Officely speaking? hi Mr Gilbert i couldn’t help but notice your frequent, meticulous, borderline religious use of Excel spreadsheets and Microsoft Word colour printed pictures with captions written in cool fonts. i like that in a man ;)

in conclusion, be the man you want to attract, boys. if you’ll excuse me, in an effort to do just that, i am going to don a crisp white button up and black dress pants, walk into the sea, and tip my rigid body forward and into the water.

#el has a life #brian david gilbert #i’ve remembered he exists again #i have taken Schrödinger’s cat out of the box and he exists once more before my eyes #Schrödinger was an avatar of the eye no doubt about it

[elijah-inmymind]

i like looking at scars i like looking at body hair i like looking at disabled bodies i like looking at crooked teeth or chipped teeth or yellow teeth or missing teeth i like looking at fat people. i don't just accept & approve of these human aspects i actively enjoy them i want to engage with them i want it to be known they are loved i am loving them

[elijah-inmymind]

unfortunately Mardi Gras did re-invite them and they’ll be marching out of uniform ‘out of respect’.

while i get that some individual officers may want to march bc they’re queer, and don’t get me wrong ACAB means all of them i don’t fucking want them there at all, but at least have the decency to march or attend as an individual, detached from the police.

to show pride in being a cop at the country’s biggest queer event that will be nationally televised days after the bodies were found of two gay men murdered by a cop is inappropriate and disgraceful.

keep your heads down and shut your fucking mouths. we don’t want your sympathy.

Hey umm, can we talk about how a cop killed two gay men just before Sydney Mardi Gras and they still want to put police in the fucking parade.

#fuck cops #mardis gras #queer #gay pride #sydney #el has a life #acab #sydney mardi gras #jesse baird #luke davies

[elijah-inmymind]

brooooo duuuuuuuude WEIGHTED FUCKING BLANKET RN?????? weighted blanket. ohhh my god u guys. WEIGHTED blanket. weighted BLANKET. duuuuuude. i want a full weighted blanket suit tailored to fit me exactly. another thought: that but made entirely out of latex. weighted gimp suit. INCREDIBLY desirable. anyway fantastic fucking night with my weighted blanket u guys. sending u comfortingly weighted vibes rn. i love u just like my weighted blanket loves me, goodnight :)

#el has a life #actually autistic #weighted blanket #in disbelief rn i can’t believe i only just got this out of weber’s i put it over summer #so alwepgnowgoougfnigh.