diary-of-an-underdog-blog

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

Monday, March the 17th, 2014

Dear friend, I now write in the comfort of my classroom where I hear nothing but whitenoise by my classmates. And it’s still hell in here. So a week before meeting the religious girl, I met Raquel. And she was such a cool down to earth person. I don’t normally notice this stuff but she had the best hug ever, warm homelike hug. -story time- so one day after failing to get company, Raquel called me to go to the movies and watch the screening of Iron Man 3 (I really didn’t mind being the last choice). So as any normal person in the lunch table me: mom, I’m going out in a bit, with a friend. Mom: who is he? Me: you don’t know, don’t try to figure out. Mom: tell me who is he? Tell me or you won’t be allowed to go. Me: UUUUUGGGHHH! Mom I’m not a child anymore, I choose my friends who I want to go out with. Mom: Tell. Me. Who. Is. He! I kept quiet for a while until she calmed down on trying to figure it out. And then Me: It’s not a He, it’s a She! And she’s a good friend. My mom immediately let out a smile, and I only noticed it because I’m used to take attention in little details, and she smiled. After that, Mom: here, have 1500 Mts (which is about 50 dollars) First she was going to make a huge drama about me going to the cinema, but then she gives me about 50 dollars, what the hell happened, but then she put in a twist. Sponsored by my brother “Mom, can I please go too?”, asked my brother “I have never been to a 3D cinema, I think I’m going too”, patiently answered my mother. And in that moment I didn’t know how to feel, weather it would be anger or just plain old contempt. I was now stuck with going to the movies with Raquel and my family and them probably thinking this thing was a date, even though I carefully mentioned, “she’s a good friend”. Fast forward to the movie place, I’m in the line, having to deal with the fact that the world was about to end because I had to bring my mother and brother to the movies where I was hoping to be myself and not keep hidden in this shell, that’s up for them. When the clouds to heaven parted, they made everyone seat in the respectful seats, here’s why I loved that (in a bit), Raquel bought her ticket earlier, meaning she got another seat, further away from my seat. Good. After the movie was done, my mother somehow looked a little too happy, I don’t know what happened to her, but after the movie we went shopping (with Raquel) and she bought me an FC Porto jersey and a new bag, which cost about 300 dollars. Again, I have no fucking idea of what happened to her.

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Dear friend,

I realize that it’s been almost a year since I’ve posted. And this is me telling you that I am not dead, and that It’s been hell in here. My life has taken a full turn into better.

What to tell you? In the last year, I have gone out, made friends.

For starters… on march 29th  last year, I got myself a girlfriend, little did I know that was someone who I’d kinda get tired of…  her name?; not important.

  Dating her in the beginning was like every love story, we were all in love with each other. Weird thing about it was that she had a boyfriend while we started, I think I do feel bad about him, but yet again, I did it for the feeling of love.

Up until our first month together I still didn’t know everything about her, and she never got to know almost anything about me. Yes, I didn’t tell her that I have mental issues, just because I wanted to keep her, and I was afraid she’d leave me. Love hit me.

So we kept dating, when it hit our third month she one day came to me and said “do you know who Jesus is?” imagine my thought, being an atheist, back then so to be a polite person, and all that came out of my mouth was “well, I don’t believe in god.” and she looked at me as if I was the worse human being to ever walk the earth (she would have a point if she knew more about me).

So three weeks passed by with me being made into an idiot where she wouldn’t kiss me because she wanted to have a “perfect” relationship in the eyes of some god, bullshit alert. Being a total idiot that I was and really fixated on having this relationship work with this girl I rode the wave (really bad idea) after 2 weeks I got tired of just holding her hands, I’m definitely not 6. And she was making things feel like it was a fucking second grade romance (which somehow gets further away than I got in those two weeks). One of those days I saw a guy talking about how he was submissive to his fiancé at the time

-side story-

he met this girl when they were high school seniors, and dated for 4 years, still staying a virgin trying to be the perfect boyfriend, and what happened is that he found her cheating on him on the bed they’d sleep together.

-back to my story-

in my story, I have not been a virgin for a long time, but my face and one of the personalities lets me act like one, I guess that’s what made her like me, that sweet innocent nerd boy (never trust the sweet innocent boy, they’re the worst!).

after those two long weeks, I had tired of pretending I was okay with that. Which I was not, at all. So then I went up to her and in the glimpse of a second out of my mouth came the words “I am tired of this!” the hallways were loud and packed but still everybody heard and turned their attention to us. I still can’t figure out how loud I said it, but apparently everyone heard that.

Later on that day, we agreed to keep away from each other.

A week went on and we kept away. Until the week after that she came up to me and said “Eli, I miss you!”; and me, being the idiot that I am, said “I miss you too. And actually I did, I just felt like I should have thought more about it and figure out what was about to come.

Think with me now, she had revealed to be those kind of religious people to be a pain in your ass when you say something like “I don’t believe in some god”. And I, I was an atheist who happened to have much fun when I could debunk people’s  beliefs, and I didn’t do it out of the blue, don’t get me wrong, I did it whenever someone tried to shove whatever the fuck they believe in in my mind; I never ceased to fail at that. But I still went for it on the “fuck it” mentality.

That next part of the relationship was when she met the dark side of her. She gave her virginity up for me, and I was getting more and more happy.

                                                …………….       

4 months passed, on the course of that time a group of Christian idiots formed in school. It was cool until they one day came up to me making me read the bible, I casually denied, which I don’t know if these people are dumb or something but when someone says “no, I don’t want to –do something-” they choose not to let you be on your own and they go for the “but jesus is salvation” joke crap. And when this group of people got together in school, she went on full of jesus bullshit on me. And then I cut all strings with it; they say if it were love it wouldn’t be easy to cut the bond, I know it was something like I never felt with anyone else, I’m just making sure you get this, I didn’t end the relationship with her because of her being Christian, I ended it with her because she was a stupid, insensitive, uncomprehending person.

-story time-

the day it all ended was when in a conversation

her: so you’re one of those people who think homosexual couples should be able to get married?

Me: heck yeah! They’re just as normal as anyone else.

Her: but can’t you see it? That’s not how god made the world.

  And then she said the most stupid reason they all happen to mention

  Her: god created Adam and Eve.

  Having hit a hot nerve mine, and I still thought we were having a stupid discussion, but what triggered the idiot inside of me was when she said they were less than straight couples. It was the whole person of her that made me get annoyed that day so my reaction was

  “sure, and tell me about how they saw a talking snake and made a virgin give birth” (which until now I think the whole virgin giving birth thing is all bananas)

  and then the whole conversation went silent; we sat there for about 30 minutes until I got tired and left.

  That night I kept up until 3 AM thinking on how much of a stupid comment that was. “god created Adam and Eve” I tried to ignore it but I couldn’t (just so you know which you probably have figured out, I am not the same but I sure as hell support it)

-Story time over-

So a week later the fights kept on coming, with me defending that most the stuff in the bible are stupid and her saying that that is exactly how some god wants the world to be like so we should follow it. -bullshit-

So tired as I was I ended it all up for the second time, why would I even be stupid enough to come back together with her, I don’t know. Nowadays, I think I was drunk the whole relationship.

  I still have a few more stories to tell but I’m glad we’re back in touch. Hope this doesn’t come to an “end” again.

    Love always

, Eli

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

This is the story of how I became a Man: 500 km

ah about this trip is that i'm telling you the story per 500 kilometers, because all of the trip was a weird, scary and an amazing feeling at the same time

the day i left for this trip was really crushing on myself... because my mother wouldn't give me her blessing so i'd go on this trip. but this for me was the test in weather i could take my own actions or keep hiding under my mothers shadow, it was time i stopped being a boy and became a man and this was the perfect opportunity

the car i was leaving in arrived and i looked at my mom and said 'i wish you would notice how hard i try to be better'. put my bag on my back, my camera on my hands and walked out that door. Every step i took towards and out that door, i kept thinking... who am i?? all this time i have been the perfect son for her, but i haven't been the perfect man for me, i was leaving to become the best i could be for myself, to become better and make a difference in my life, because so far as you know it's not been that much of a proud life...

on the first 500 km we passed through 3 cities and lots of villages, there was this one where we stopped to talk to the people in the village hall, and to be there you have to be somehow grateful for the honour of being granted this meeting... and you get that done by buying the food or cooking it... since i'm an amateur chef and we bought the ingredients i cooked, as i'm cooking, this guy was drinking something so i asked what was he drinking so the guy goes it's the juice you brought, and i'm like, we didn't buy no juice, well we hadn't, in fact he was drinking cooking powder, that one of the house keepers said it was juice because it was in arab (most our cooking stuff are arab here), so the house keeper said to him that he could read arab and it was "juice" so that was just something priceless to me... i'm not sharing the picture i shot for that moment because i am not in the photography computer now... but once i can, or feel like it i promise i'll put it up.

Love always, Eli there is 9500km to go and lots and lots of stories

PS: this trip has made me different! you'll notice through the story later on.

#trip #aroundthecountry #diary #drunk #funny #story #History #being #made

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

back in black

I have finally managed to gather my schedule together for my return... I have been away for almost 2 months now but i promise the stories as always, one per day...

So I went for a trip around the country, to get the true spirit and understand the roots of my country. I have learned a lot which I will keep posting per day through the time until finish the whole trips story.

This was some project I had in mind since I learned what was a bucketlist and I added it to mine. My friend told me she was traveling around the country so I joined the ride with a promise to only spend thirty dollars per day and save as much as I could,

This trip took a month, and we traveled 10000 miles with a promise not to spend 30 dollars per day, excluding the gasoline. This was the coolest trip of my life, I left a boy and returned a Man. Sets of posts for that are coming as of tomorrow.

as always: Love, Eli 

#diary #smile #trip #traelling #bucketlist #country #mozambique #return #growth

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

update thingy...

eversince i started the diary-of-an-underdog blog, i suddenly am coming away from this underdog figure, to explain i am still traelling, had so less time to pick up my computer and go on tumblr. i miss this so much, but soon loves, really soon, i'll be back, with all the embarasing stories and everything from this trip. 

Love, Eli

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

It's finally on my hands

I GOT MY DRIVING LICENSE! YAY, I’m so happy!

i'm going, Love, Eli

#driver #licence

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

this is the story of the best friendship ever, me and the guitar!

read more of it.

well, i am a self thought guitarist and other instruments (not to brag but 26 all self-thought) and i started playing guitars on january 2010, that was the first contact i’d have with a musical instrument ever. and i just started learning because my dad used to play it and he passed away when i was 7 and he left the guitar there so growing up, i never got interested in learning until one day this beautiful girl introduced me to rock and roll, and i’m not going to lie only started listening to it because i had a crush on her, and 7 months after starting to listen i got guitar hero (the game, i hope you’re familiar with it), played it until january when i decided to know how to play the guitar, because i had been told my father was a brilliant guitarist so i gave it a go.

it was really nice sharing my story leave yours on my askbox!

#guitar #smile #me #Archievement #music #guitarhero #diary

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

aw my god i opened tumblr for the first time in about two week and i love the new posting thing just unbelievably great!

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

Friday, January 18th, 2013

hum... what an interesting friday.

i recently opened my schedule to gigs, and in a matter of days i'm busy every thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, and monday! i'm really happy because i actually thought i was unknown and turns out they do like my music. today i played for about 30 people, the feeling! and the crowd was really cool and supportive, played 5 of 90 songs of mine, and covered ed sheeran and carly rae jepsen. they were quite receptive.

for the first time in too long i felt like i was doing something i like... was just unbelievably amazing, for the first time in a while i actually felt happy, i know i'm going too much about it but this was amazing.

having a Amy as a manager is amazing she booked me gigs for more than a month. soon i'll be back in full swing :D.

Love, Eli

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

i'll be back soon my lloves...

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

Friday, January the 11th, 2013

i've started driving lessons this week, and found a part time job as a music instructor. my mom got pissed and i don't give a fuck at this point... hard to concentrate while writing... so this is no long post as usual... 

Love You, Eli

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

Sunday, January 6th, 2013

after learning that Amy could play videogames i took her out to our little videogame fair that we get here and was on the last day, to see how she reacts when around games

i think i'm going to do great with this woman. she comforts me, takes care of mee, now is going to game with me, she's my favorite model so far. great day that i met her.

Love, Eli

#gamercouple #fair #exitement #happiness #date

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

Saturday, January 5th, 2013

today was a different day, went to this party (not a partaaaay, just a get together) like 90km from my city, it was a really traditional one, there were people doing traditional dances, eating most traditional food we have here.. felt good to get in touch with the remote culture... i actually took some shots that i'm really proud of, they are on the edition here, if i get the chance i'll put one here.

Love, Eli

#gamergirl #girl #nerd #gamercouple #diary #smile

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just saw now, from how bored i was i said the january 3 was a friday... shaaaame!

asdfghjkl;

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

Friday, January the 4th, 2013

the day was rather interesting, woke up 4 o' to photograph, i wanted to do this for  while now, and i got every single shot i wanted, so it was cool.

I MISS NADINE!! I just miss being her friend and talking to her whenever i wanted to, now i can't even call her to tell good news. tell her i've fucking killed the year with a 98 gpa, just really hope she is happy.

Love, Eli

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

Friday, January the 3rd, 2013

today i just woke up sad and depressed, i actually have no idea why, i've been all day in bed, can't even get up, feels like i'm in a really dark place, i hope it gets well soon, just didn't want to end the day without posting.

know what, i'm going to sit in my backyard (the beach) and photograph, i don't know about you guys but to me it really helps, staying behind the lens, getting everything together figuring out exposures... just the best feeling ever... Let me just go. Love, Eli

PS: i don't know how to fight this. 

[diary-of-an-underdog-blog]

Tuesday, January 1st, 2013

Kids, This is the story of how i had the best night in my life!!

00:16 AM the fireworks finished, i mean the main ones, as i was going to my room bummed that i had to spend the rest of my night in my bed... Amy called me to wish new year and that she was waiting to get her first kiss of the year, soo, at that moment i just striped my boots and left, and forgot that i was going to bed

00:45 AM i arrived at Amy's house (surprise), i don't know about you but at thaat moment i climbed up to her room just to get that kiss and the house is two stories long... i got on her porch, knocked the window and waved, as her beautiful smile blossomed through her face, i could almost hear the thoughts that went through her head at that moment, seriously, in a fraction of seconds i took out the camera and snatched a picture of her. surprised, she asked "what are you doing here?" and i answered "I'm here to kiss my new year's wish". the look on her face... we kissed, intertwining our fingers as we held each others hands

00:55 AM i got out of there to find myself wondering around the streets of Maputo.

1:20 AM i got in a party by some really freaky people in the suburbs, one or two of them had a gun, as soon as i saw that i run straight out of there...

2:10 AM i called my friend Haider, and he came to catch me, we went to a party on another city, an hour away. that was actually the best party i had ever been on a new years eve, everyone was having a good time with no exesses, and no coke or weed.

4:40 AM Haider dropped me home and instead i went to the beach just to apretiate what an amazing year was beggining. my phone rang, it was Amy, i answered, she said turn around, as i turned she was wearing probably the most  beautiful sun dress (the best clothing piece for women, in my opinion) i had ever seen, it was just brainstorm at that moment, she was bare foot beautiful. she grabbed my camera and took a picture of me, "you forgot your camera idiot" she said, at that moment i was just in the 7th clouds was just amazing. i hugged her, kissed for  while and we just seat in the sand. holding each others hands telling stories, we watched our 1st sunrise together, it was just amazing. and then, she let me lay my head on her lap (girls if a guy ever lays his head on your lap know that you are very special!!), it was just so warm and cowsey her gentle strokes on my hair, her smile (seriously that's an amazing smile), THAT WAS THE HIGHEST POINT OF MY EVENING!

So that was for new year's eve, the best night i've ever had so far. and i bet there are too many great ones to come.

actually today i just slept from 9AM until 2PM and then we went to my grandmothers house, where the whole family went, it's 11:11 PM *now*... and i'm listening to Greenday, there is nothing better to do... think i'll go photograph a little.

Love, Eli

#new #year #smile #lap #kiss #hug #story #tuesday #family #love #how i had the best night ever