demi-romantic-moods

[demi-romantic-moods]

Not to mention that Demi is also a thing in people with trust and abandonment issues! And if you find after getting help you are no longer Demi, do not worry! Sometimes labels are only temporary, and that’s ok.

Demisexual “So you mean a normal person?” Don’t hate on things you don’t understand.

Person: What’s demisexuality?

Demisexual: It means you don’t get attracted to people unless there’s an emotional bond.

Person: Oh, so like, a normal person?

Demisexual: Actually, no, although I can see how you’d think that. Most people don’t have sex with people unless they have an emotional bond with them but that’s not really to do with sexuality, that’s just staying safe and having common sense.

’Normal’ people, although not intending to sleep with someone right away, still know, usually, whether they would be interested in doing that within a short amount of time, sometimes immediately. People come up to me and say “You’re attractive, can I have your number?” after just seeing me from across a bar. They’ve never spoken to me, don’t know who I am but still found me attractive and are thus interested in getting to know me more to see if they’d like to start a relationship.

Demisexuals don’t experience that. We don’t see underwear adverts and find the actors desirable. We don’t look at someone from across a room and think “they’re hot, I wonder if they’re single”. ‘Sex sells’ goes over our heads. Dating apps where you swipe pictures across the screen are useless. We literally don’t get attracted to people that quickly.

Person: Oh, I see. So it’s not just being picky or abstaining from sex, it’s literal lack of attraction?

Demisexual: Yes, you’ve got it.

Person: That must make dating difficult.

Demisexual: It does. Many of us are interested in dating but are limited to people we know emotionally. If someone asks for my number I then have to say to them ‘can we be friends for roughly two to three years, by then I should know whether I find you physically attractive and if I do we can start dating’. It’s sad because I don’t want to get people’s hopes up or seem like I’m leading them on. But I literally do have to know them for a while before I can get attracted to them if I do at all. It also meant growing up was a strange experience because everyone would be pointing out attractive people on TV, in magazines and when walking down the street and I just didn’t understand.

Person: Well thank you for taking the time to explain that to me. I understand now that there is a difference between abstaining from sex and actually lacking attraction.

Demisexual: No problem. It’s nice to be accepted and understood.

Demisexuals, you are real and valid. Just because people don’t understand what you go through that doesn’t mean what you go through is fake. Pride is about respecting and celebrating all sexualities and their nuances. 

You should also note that demisexuality is common among those on the autism spectrum. To deny demisexuality is not only illogical but it’s also ableism. You’re erasing people’s symptoms because its convenient for you and because you don’t understand them. 

Demisexuals just want to chill and exist. They don’t want fame and to be mollycoddled. They just want awareness and acceptance. 

Let’s not hate on people just because we don’t understand. 

[demi-romantic-moods]

Love at first sight is strange, being Demi, I inherently don’t understand those who fall in love fast or crush on boys they hardly know. But the whole “love at first sight” thing seems,,,, reckless to me idk

So…

is the reason I’m confused by the concept of “love at first sight” because I’m Demiromantic, or is that just a personality trait of mine.

[demi-romantic-moods]

So yesterday I came out to one of my new Uni friends. She is probably the most religious friend I currently have so I was a bit nervous about it. We had talked about LGBT+ things already previously so I knew she wasn’t adverse about it or anything.

I told her at first that I belong to the asexual and aromantic Spectrum and then specified that I was demi. And it went surprisingly great!! While she didn’t really know what demi was she had already heard of it! I then gave her a brief overview of it and she directly caught on! I was so happy about how it had worked out, especially since she is basically the closest friend I have in this university. Later, we talked again a bit about demisexuality and demiromanticism and she totally understood me when I was telling of my massive confusion about people thinking others to be attractive and like what people like about butts

Ugh what a wonderful experience.

[demi-romantic-moods]

Demi people are not “normal people with a fake orientation”, nor are they “difficult”. Maybe try to look up the definition of demisexual/demiromantic for once.

Greyro people aren’t “invading” the LGBT+ community nor are they devoided of love and affection. You’re just mean.

[demi-romantic-moods]

Grey and Demi are so valid!! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

I’ll be touching on both of these again.

Buy Me a Coffee! | Commissions

[demi-romantic-moods]

To my fellow aces, especially fellow aces dealing with internalized aphobia tonight:

You are so freaking loved. 

Who you are is valid and whole and complete. 

You are brilliant and powerful. 

You are never as alone as you might feel.

You are seen, cherished, and matter.

Did I mention that you’re loved? Yeah? Well here it is again: you are loved. Just as you are. For everything you are. 

[demi-romantic-moods]

A-spec people don't experience oppression?

This is built up of links and screenshots I’ve seen (basically this is all either my links or copy and paste)

“Aces don’t face oppression”

Intergroup bias toward “Group X”: Evidence of prejudice, dehumanization, avoidance, and discrimination against asexuals (Link to complete study)

Prejudice against the asexual community

Battling Asexual Discrimination, Sexual Violence And ‘Corrective’ Rape

Somewhere on the A-Spectrum: Agender, aromantic and asexual people face misconceptions, aggression

Asexuality and Rape

Asexual Men and Rape

Men, masculinity, asexuality, and rape

Religion and Asexuality Overview

Religious intolerance of asexuality: x, x, x, x, x, x

Asexuality and race/racism: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

Do you want to?

Asexual oppression and all that

Asexuality and Victim Blaming

Why We Need Mental Healthcare Without Asexual Erasure

AAU Campus Climate Survey on Sexual Assault and Sexual Misconduct shows that “Asexual/Questioning/Not Listed” report a higher rate of sexual assault/harassment/violence than heterosexuals, regardless of gender

Asexuality was listed in the DSM as HSDD (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder) until 2013, making it officially a mental illness that would be treated with therapy and medication. It is still in the DSM, except that you can ‘opt out’ if you self-identify as asexual, which is great except that asexuality is still so unknown that there undoubtedly many people who are asexual but don’t know that it’s “a thing”. This means that who knows how many asexuals have been sent to therapy and told they’re sick, then been “treated” for their orientation to try and force them to experience sexuality “correctly”.

In short, our orientation has been and continues to be pathologized, and asexuals have been put through corrective therapy: x, x, x, x, x

Acephobia Exists

Why Aro/Ace awareness is important to me

This is an example of acephobia.

Sure, it could’ve happened to anyone. But it happened to an asexual BECAUSE OF THEIR ASEXUALITY.

no one gets to tell me that my objectification is magically ‘less potent’ because it’s due to my asexuality.

“I WANT to make the community unsafe for you”

It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right

Posts of people describing the hardship they’ve faced for their asexuality: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

The blog @acephobia-is-real has so many submissions and examples of hatred, harassment, hostility, and abuse, of aces who have been raped and/or sexually assaulted in an attempt to ‘fix’ them, and made suicidal due to aphobia and/or their own perceived brokenness, that it would be pointless for me to try and link any. Just go and start reading. Try their suicide tag.

There may be dissatisfyingly little research done on asexuality, but there has been enough done to prove that they do face discrimination, no matter how hard some may find that to believe. But guess what? A non-ace person does not get a say and waht they do or do not experience. We do not get to say things like “aces don’t get kicked out” or “aces don’t _____” any more than I as a white person get to say that things I don’t experience must not happen to black people either. Just because you haven’t experienced it personally or witnessed it with your own eyes doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. You haven’t walked in an ace’s shoes, you don’t know what they deal with. Period. You have no right.

Not even other aces can tell asexuals that their experiences aren’t real or aren’t valid. Different people can deal with different amounts of oppression, that doesn’t mean the lack of oppression is the default “truth”.

Nobody is trying to say that asexuals have it “as bad” or worse than gay or trans people, but a-specs don’t HAVE to “have it worse” to be included and for others experiences to have merit without being compared to anyone else’s. What s-specs go through, still matters and should not be compared to what others have gone through in order to matter.

“We just want to protect our safe spaces”

Aphobes have:

Repeatedly misgendered and mislabeled people

Informed rape victims that their assaults didn’t happen the way they happened (which is a form of gaslighting)

Made light of their own rape apology

Compared asexuals to pedophiles

Compared asexuals to Nazis

Harassed people who wanted to be left alone

Made jokes about asexuals committing suicide

Told suicidal asexuals to “stop whining”

Admitted to recycling biphobia

Created a ‘yourfaveisaphobic’ blog

Admitted to hating the ace/aro community

Asserted that asexuality should not be taught in schools (because it “sexualizes minors” or because gay/bi/pan minors will ‘mistakenly’ identify as asexual)

Told asexuals to die: x, x, x, x, x (tbh this is only a tiny sample and I don’t have the heart to go digging for more)

Are all aphobes this vile? Maybe not, but this is still the disgusting, hateful attitude festering in the gatekeeping community, and it stinks like shit. The examples that have been provided above are only a fraction of the harassment and abuse that is perpetrated on a regular basis.

“Het aces/aroaces are straight”

Some het aces identify as straight. Some het aces don’t identify as straight, they identify as asexual, and it’s not your place to label them against their will. Even other a-specs dont get to do that to others, There is no world in which aroaces, people who experience no attraction to anyone, are straight.

“Straight” isn’t a sexual orientation, it’s a position of power.

A-Spec Identities are Not Secondary.

Invisibility is Not a Privilege.

“passing privilege” is not a real thing.

Straight-passing privilege: a myth

Bad arguments against allowing a-spec to identify as queer

Having your identity erased is not a privilege.

asexuality, like bisexuality, is deliberately misunderstood by out groups in order to exclude us.

ace/aro people don’t “only” experience attraction to the ‘opposite gender’ or any other. that’s the point. we also experience a lack of attraction, either romantically or sexually, and that lack of attraction is part of our identity.

Straight is not default.

How many straight people do you know that want to kill themselves because of their orientation?

The closet is not a privilege

“We accept SGA (same-gender attracted) and trans aces”

Firstly, SGA (same-gender attraction) is a term that was used and is still used in Mormon conversion therapy, so as one can understand, a lot of people are very uncomfortable being labeled with this description. Secondly, it enforces a gender binary of “same” and “opposite” gender that leaves a large number of nonbinary people out in the cold. Is a genderfluid person only “same-gender attracted” if they’re attracted to other genderfluid people who are genderfluid in exactly the same way? How about agender, intergender, demigirl/boy people? And before the argument “well they’re included as trans” is made, there are plenty of nonbinary people who do not identify as trans. You do not have the right to label people against their will.

The standard of “SGA and trans” as requirement for entry to the LGBTQ community is used nowhere outside of aphobic tumblr, and it seems crafted specifically for the purpose of excluding aces, aros, NBs, intersex people, and others not deemed “gay enough”.

(SGA did NOT come from ‘SGL’, same-gender loving. That is a term created by black queer people and not to be appropriated by white people.)

Discussion of the history of the word ‘queer’ and why it’s better than ‘SGA’: x, x, x, x, x

There are also many “SGA and trans” aces who are against the gatekeeping and feel that they are hated by these aphobes.

You’re not protecting me by being an ace/aro exclusionist.

What we hear when you say “I only support SGA Asexuals/Aromantics”

my favourite thing is when aphobes try to tell me that their aphobia doesn’t apply to me / affect me because “[i’m] queer for other reasons”

okay, you wanna know why I’m for including all aces in the LGBT+ community?

Why your acephobia and arophobia is really just bullshit

it really annoys me when I see Discoursers say they support LGBT+ aces, just not cishet ones.

when you say “i accept sga and trans aces and aros but not cishet aces/aros because they’re straight”

Suffering! Suffering?

when people ‘accept’ sga/mga/non-cis aces and aros, but not others, what it actually means is they accept the part of you that isn’t directly tied to your asexuality/aromanticism

if ur gonna fuckin claim those four letters cover them & the whole damn community, they sure as fuck can cover aces as well

“Ace discourse” is really a Tumblr-only thing

I’m a lesbian ace and I’ve never felt more worthless and disgusting than this ace discourse

The reason even trans and bi/gay/pan/etc asexuals get defensive when you talk about cishet aces/aros not being part of the LGBT+ community is because you’re erasing a part of our identity??

If you talk shit about aces/aros with the disclaimer “cishet” it still affects all aces. Saying “notably cishet aces should all go die” still makes all ace/aro people feel like they are being called out.

Your “discourse” is harmful to all asexuals. And by the way, your rhetoric is literally indistinguishable from TWERF rhetoric.

“The LGBT community has always been about fighting homophobia and transphobia/we came together to fight homophobia and transphobia”

“Homophobia and Transphobia”: What does the LGBT+ community fight for?

The modern American movement was first known as the “gay community” when cis gay men refused to even accept lesbians, then the “gay and lesbian community”. (Good reading on the subject.)

“After the elation of change following group action in the Stonewall riots in New York, in the late 1970s and the early 1980s, some gays and lesbians became less accepting of bisexual or transgender people. Critics said that transgender people were acting out stereotypes and bisexuals were simply gay men or lesbian women who were afraid to come out and be honest about their identity. Each community has struggled to develop its own identity including whether, and how, to align with other gender and sexuality-based communities, at times excluding other subgroups; these conflicts continue to this day.” (source)

“From about 1988, activists began to use the initialism LGBT in the United States. Not until the 1990s within the movement did gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people gain equal respect.” (ibid)

These are scans of a gay magazine from 1999 showing that 48% of those surveyed did not believe that trans people should be a part of the gay community.

The community’s boundaries have always been in flux

Insisting that LG people have always been accepting of bi and trans people is incredibly revisionist and does a great deal of injustice to those who have been excluded.

Despite the fact that bisexual and transgender people have always been around, and have done great things for the community, they have faced a great deal of lateral oppression from the LG part of the group that did not want to see them get an equal share of attention, support, or legitimacy. This post is not about proving LG transphobia and biphobia, but it’s so rampant that I don’t feel like I need to provide sources whatsoever. Nevertheless, here’s a collection of biphobia, and the blog @terf-callout documents some of the violent transphobia on this site, particularly in the lesbian community. This post is an example.

“The A stands for Ally so that closeted people can be the community without being outed”

No one is saying that we don’t care about closeted people, but a) even if you’re a closeted L, G, B, or T, you are still a L, G, B, or T. Allies do not need to be part of the acronym to be intrinsically welcomed. As someone said, this is like saying the ‘B’ in BLT stands for ‘bread’. We can pretty much safely assume that a sandwich is going to include bread, we don’t have to go of our way to give it a letter. Either you are outing every “ally” as a closeted queer person, or you are giving 100% cis straight people an LGBTQ member card, the very thing you are arguing against by trying to exclude asexuals.

Furthermore, this puts forth the argument “I’m willing to let cishet straight people into the community for the sake of a few closeted people” while at the same time stating “I’m not willing to let the A stand for asexuals because I don’t think letting cis heteroromantic asexuals into the community is worth giving all asexuals representation and support”. Which says that you consider asexuals less valuable and more of a threat than cis straight people.

Bonus: The History of LGBT(QQIAAP+)

“Aces have never been a part of the LGBTQ/queer community”

Asexuals recorded as “Group X” in the 1948 Kinsey Reports

What is asexual history? The 19th and 20th century

From The Westminster Review, a political magazine, in 1907; an essay by Helen Fraser called Women’s Suffrage, on how if women got the vote, butch and ace women were gonna dominate the whole thing and screw it up for all the Real Ladies.

The Spinster Movement, and how they were treated as queer

From “Feminism,” by Correa Moylan Walsh, 1917

the “aces/aros were part of the bi community until they very recently chose to split off, so stop telling them that they have never been queer or that they don’t belong in ‘the LGBT community’” masterpost

asexuality existed before David Jay and AVEN

“Where were you when…?” A History of Asexual Inclusion (Part One)

“Where were you when…?” A History of Asexual Inclusion (Part Two)

“Stop tokenizing bi and trans people/stop comparing bi/trans and ace experiences”

A-specs are  not the ones doing it. We are comparing it. However, when we do, we are labeled bi-phobic/transphobic

Bisexual person discussing the similarities of anti-bi and anti-ace arguments

Pansexual person discussing the similarities in treatment (Follow up post)

Bisexual person recalling ace inclusion and discussing the similarities

Bisexual person discussing “SGA discourse”

Panromantic genderfluid person discussing lateral aggression

This Blog Explicitly Welcomes All Ace/Aro Folks As Part Of LGBTQIA

Bisexual trans person discussing the nature of asexuality

Trans lesbian discusses the identical nature of TWERF and aphobe rethoric

Pansexual person tells you to Cut It Out

Bisexual person discussing how the unifying common point of the community is deviation from the cisheteronormative norm

Bisexual genderqueer person says that the bi community and the a-spec community have a deep history together and have always been allies

Bisexual trans person discusses how we can relate to each other

Trans lesbian TAKES. YOU. DOWN.

Bisexual person arguing that all asexuals are queer

“I have proof of an asexual being homophobic/transphobic/racist/a terrible person”

Of course there are asexuals who are terrible people. There are legions of gays and lesbians who are racist and transphobic. Does that make them not gay/lesbian? Does their bigotry invalidate their sexual orientation, or remove the L and G from the acronym? No, I don’t think so. Some asexuals being bad people doesn’t justify you trying to invalidate all of us.

“’Allosexual’ is a bad word because ____”

I actually have an ‘allosexual’ tag just for posts about why ‘allosexual’ is a perfectly fine word: x, x, x, x, x. x. It simply means non-ace. You do not have to use it for yourself if you do no want to, however.

“The split-attraction model is homophobic”

What we call the split-attraction model was first described by Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, a gay advocate from the 1800s, as “disjunctive uranodioning”. (source) (credit to this post)

“The term ‘corrective rape’ was coined by South African lesbians and should only be used by lesbians”

No one means any disrespect to lesbians or other victims of corrective rape, but this is not a correct statement.

“We’ll Show You You’re a Woman” describes the violence directed towards LGBT people in South Africa, stating, “Negative public attitudes towards homosexuality go hand in hand with a broader pattern of discrimination, violence, hatred, and extreme prejudice against people known or assumed to be lesbian, gay, and transgender, or those who violate gender and sexual norms in appearance or conduct (such as women playing soccer, dressing in a masculine manner, and refusing to date men).” It goes on to say, “Much of the recent media coverage of violence against lesbians and transgender men has been characterized by a focus on “corrective rape,” a phenomenon in which men rape people they presume or know to be lesbians in order to “convert” them to heterosexuality.”

The Wikipedia article on corrective rape in South Africa states that, “A study conducted by OUT LGBT Well-being and the University of South Africa Centre for Applied Psychology (UCAP) showed that “the percentage of black gay men who said they have experienced corrective rape matched that of the black lesbians who partook in the study”.”

It is not only lesbians, but also bisexual women, transgender men, gay men, and gender non-conforming people in South Africa who experience corrective rape. This is not in any way meant to minimize the horror of the epidemic or shift attention away from lesbians, but other victims, including asexuals, deserve attention as well. Do not silence or speak over victims of rape by policing their language.

“Aces are valid, they’re just not queer/LGBTQ”

You cannot in one breath say “Asexuals are valid” and in the next deny their experiences. Spend five minutes in the community and you will see testimony after testimony from aces describing their abuse, their sexual assault(s), the countless times people have called them confused, broken, wrong, mentally ill, inhuman, sinful, and how these experiences have left them feeling hopeless, alone, alienated, subhuman, depressed, and suicidal. Almost every asexual out there will tell you a story of how their orientation has caused them pain and struggle, and you can’t call them valid while at the same time calling these experiences invalid and nonexistent.

Bonus: This is a list of all the mainstream LGBTQ groups that include asexuals.

“Form your own community!”

a) We do have our own community, because every letter in the acronym has its own community and yet is still part of the acronym, b) you fucking shits won’t stop sending us hate and bombarding us with shit meant to trigger and harass us.

“Aces take resources from other LGBTQ who need them”

I’ve seen some pretty wild claims about this one, insisting that asexuals “steal” things such as scholarships, beds at homeless shelters, food and space at pride events, suicide hotlines, and so on, yet I have never seen any actual proof that any “stealing” has ever taken place. For one thing, I thought “you’ll never get kicked out or fired for being ace”, “no one is suicidal because they’re asexual”, so why would you think aces need these resources? Either we don’t need them or we don’t use them, you can’t have it both ways.

For another, how heartless do you have to be to tell asexuals that they can’t use suicide hotlines? Do you realize that you’re saying that asexuals should be denied life-saving services? That, in essence, asexuals are suicidal due to their orientation, but you think they’re not “queer enough” so they deserve to die? Because that is the logical progression of refusing someone suicide prevention, and that’s the message aces receive when you tell them they are “stealing” suicide prevention.

LGBTQ resources offer them to asexuals, and benefit from us using them.

“Rae, asexual, 26, Maryland: No, I don’t feel accepted in the queer community. In college, I tried being out about being asexual. The result was a gay guy who lived in my building walking into my dorm room, exposing himself, and walking toward me, pants around his ankles, while describing what he was sure would cure me. Asexuality became a topic I only discussed with significant others or when someone else brought it up first. I’m pretty sure as far as the queer community is concerned, I’m straight.”

Julie Decker, “[she] has been told by several online commenters that she just needs a “good raping.”

“Also, I hope you get raped.”

“I’ve gotten several awful comments along the lines of “well I could fix that” though when I’ve brought up my asexuality…”

“My assailant maintained that what he was doing would make me realize that I wasn’t asexual or queer…”

AVEN thread– yes, ugh, AVEN, but look at the poll here– “Have you ever been threatened with sexual assault because of your asexuality?”

Here’s some choice replies from that thread:

Men have hit on me or tried to flirt with me, and when, through some way or another, they find out I am asexual, their immediate reaction is to tell me “if you had sex with me I’d change your mind” or, even worse phrasing “I can change that for you” as if I need them to.

Oh absolutely. To add to the insult, it was my “guy friend” who did this.

I had a guy make it his mission to “convert” me, insist that he COULD TELL I was attracted to him, accuse me of denial, say I was being childish, tell me he wanted to “help” me, and say I felt the way I did about sex because he was the first and only person I’d met who could bring the attraction out in me and I just hadn’t realized it yet…

He was my co-worker and insisted that he could do things that would make me love sex or at least be interested. It got really creepy when he started trying to sext me, and even kept trying after I’d stopped responding.

Many times. It is that some guys like to cause more pain by threats. It is part of the fun… Sometimes by telling exactly how to fuck me deep enough to become sexual after that.

It never came to rape, but I have been sexually assaulted because of being asexual.

I have been pressured into sex more times than I can count. I have been threatened, pressured, told that they could ‘fix me’, had someone penetrate me anally for 4 hours just because he could… that time WAS rape.

“… and someone saying that he doesn’t believe I’m asexual and that he ‘turned’ me sexual.”

“However I am not buying an asexual human. You are hiding something.”

Personal experience:  IM NOT A-SPEC! These are comments I’ve received about dating one though

“rape her to fix her”

“see if she was lying about not experiencing sexual attraction.” 

she was” damaged”

“automatically unattractive “

“useless”

“an object”

“a waste”

“Be with me instead so you can still “get some”

“That must be hard”

“Pfft you’re fucking a plant”

and more but Im kinda starting to feel ill

(I dont like the anon but they called them straight when the anon SPECIFICALLY says they’re biromantic)

https://youtu.be/FNiMWEMBONQ

https://youtu.be/3vIwERgoDDc

I’m bisexual and genderfluid. All I see from the a-spec discourse is recycled bi-phobia and people being bigoted in the lgbt+ community. You need to stop. People are getting hurt on both sides and it needs to come to an end right now. This discourse should not exist as much as the terf discourse should not exist. You are denying people a place in lgbt+ who belong there. 

[demi-romantic-moods]

Dear aromantic gays: you aren’t fulfilling the overly sexual & shallow gay man stereotypes, or the “men only want sex not emotions” stereotypes. Your orientation is yours to have and understand!

Dear aromantic lesbians: by being aromantic you aren’t contributing to the hypersexualization of lesbians. Don’t be ashamed of not wanting a cutesy and soft romantic relationship!

Dear aromantic bisexuals and pansexuals: your aromanticism does not promote the promiscuous and afraid-of-commitment stereotypes! You deserve to have your identity understood for what it is rather than what society thinks it is.

Dear aromantic trans and nonbinary people: no matter how you express your aromanticism, it will never make you seem like the fetishized and sexualized versions of trans and nb people. You deserve respect and dignity!

Dear aromantic women: although society puts so much of your gender role & perceived worth in your potential marriage and relationships, it 1000% okay for you to never have a romantic partner! You are a whole person without a boyfriend or husband!

Dear aromantic men: you don’t fall into the misogynistic frat bro archetype by being aromantic. Just because you’re aromantic doesn’t mean you can’t be tender and emotional, and it isn’t a product of toxic masculinity!

Dear aromantic people who have multiple labels and complex identities: never change or hide your aromanticism, it doesn’t make you “cringey” or embarrassing. Take pride in all of your glorious complexity!

No allosexual aromantic person contributes to the fetishization and sexualization of their orientations and/or gender by simply existing! It’s okay to have mismatched romantic and sexual orientations, it doesn’t make you weird, too sexual, or shallow!

(If you want to add positivity for other aromantic groups feel free to!)

[demi-romantic-moods]

reblog if your blog is actually safe for bi people.

reblog if you believe bi people deserve to have a space and voice.

reblog if you recognize the specific struggles that no people go through.

reblog if you know bi people are more than “half gay, half straight”.

reblog if you believe bi rights and representation aren’t just “catering to straight people.”

reblog if you see us.

reblog if you know we are safe on your blog.

[demi-romantic-moods]

Anyone: “wanna come back to my place? ;)”

Sex-repulsed aces:

[demi-romantic-moods]

There’s a huge misunderstanding among allosexual people about what demisexuality really is. You think it means they won’t have sex with someone unless they have an emotional bond and that that’s normal and the word isn’t needed. Guess what? That’s not what it is! Demisexuality is having the inability to feel sexually attracted to someone unless they have an emotional bond. Having sex has nothing to do with it. Allosexuals can feel sexual attraction for someone they have no emotional bond with. Doesn’t necessarily mean they would have sex with them, but the attraction is there. For demisexual people, that attraction is not there. It’s incapable of existing without that bond. There’s this huge misconception that asexuality and demisexuality has to do with sex and abstinence. It doesn’t. Asexual doesn’t mean abstinent. It means lacking sexual attraction. Demisexual doesn’t mean abstinent until close with someone. It means lacking sexual attraction until close with someone. That is why demisexuality is a valid label. Demisexuals do not experience attraction the same way allosexuals do.

[demi-romantic-moods]

Reblog this with what crushes are like for you!!

Open to any type of attraction, be it alterous, qp, romo, platonic, whatever, I just want to spread the types and various experiences of crushes. Perhaps we can name some of those that stray from the "normal crush" of society.

I'd appreciate if bigger blogs helped out with this!!

#crush types #crush #crushes #lush #smush #plush #squish #alterous attraction #alterous #platonic attraction #platonic #romo attraction #romo #aro #ace #aroace #aro spectrum #aro spec #ace spec #ace spectrum #aspec

[demi-romantic-moods]

What does a crush feel like to you?

For me, it's only after i realize how really close to them i am (the demi part of it), then it becomes confused about do I like them romo or platonic or other? Then it becomes alterous or qp attraction(unless I realize that it's not romo or alterous or qp, it stays platonic), then moves to romo or stays qp. Anyone else??? I'm personally confused •~• What would you call this? Does it have a name? Or is this yet to be named?

#demi #demisexual moods #demisexual mood #demisexual #demiromantic #demiromantic moods #demiromantic mood #grey ace #grey aro #aroflux #aceflux #ace spec #ace spectrum #aspec #aro spec #aro spectrum #crush #crushes #crush types #alterous #qp #queerplatonic #romo

[demi-romantic-moods]

just in case you need to hear this today:

you are not a failure

you are not a waste of space

you are loved

you are wanted

I believe in you

you can do it!!!!

[demi-romantic-moods]

I hate when you tell someone you’re demiromantic and they respond with: “Isn’t that normal?” OR “Isn’t that usually the case?”

Well, screw you pal. It was an effing revelation to me.

[demi-romantic-moods]

If you’re black, trans, and aro, you gotta know now that we’re the most powerful people on the planet and no one is able to handle our power

[demi-romantic-moods]

I'm mad.

I'm mad because my friend with aspergers "can't" have a job or "can't" have "normal" relationships, whether they be platonic or otherwise, with other people.

I'm mad because he also has anxiety that ties into his aspergers and no one acknowledges neuro diverse people with mental illnesses like depression, bipolar, anxiety and so on.

I'm mad because he gets looked down on and made fun of because he speaks a little different than we, Neuro typical people, speak. And it's not even close to the stereotypical autism speaking of stuttering and impossible to understand words, which is totally valid btw. He barely speaks any different than us and is so self conscious of it.

I'm mad because he's scared of the school we go to being shot up and asked for a map of the school with all the exits and such, then was suspected of being a threat, and that he's worried about coming out of the closet for fear of harassment.

I'm mad because he had to figure out on his own that's society's perspective is not ok, instead of being taught about how fucked up the world is and him thinking that its normal for the world to be this shitty and that its ok.

I'm mad that his dad doesn't think toxic masculinity is real.

I'm mad that he's been so affected be toxic masculinity so much.

I'm mad that he's too scared of people being shitty and ratting on him to even begin to feel safe enough to come out, not even to his friends.

I'm mad.

I'm mad that my friend with a learning disability can't keep her job stable even tho she's perfectly capable of doing her job. The only reason she can't keep her job is because of her shitty asshole coworkers and manager who look down on her.

I'm mad because people probably talk trash about her stutter and the way she speaks.

I'm mad because she probably won't be able to get a good paying job because of society's bullshit expectations that are unfair.

I'm mad because even I barely knew anything about the troubles Neuro diverse people faced until I met some who weren't Neuro typical.

I'm mad that she has to deal with these assholes every day.

I'm mad that she had a manipulative, abusive ex boyfriend who scares her.

I'm mad.

I'm mad that my friend with misophonia gets made fun of when she speaks.

I'm mad that when she had an anxiety attack she had a stutter that was not usual for her, and I noticed this, but others kids made fun of her, that she was faking it for attention.

I'm mad that even tho she says it doesn't bother her I can tell it does, even if it may be just a little bit.

I'm mad that when she had muscle tremors, or at least something along those lines, people would talk trash right in front of her and behind her back. That she was annoying and needed to stop, even tho these spasms were involuntary.

I'm mad that her special interests (at least I think that's what they're called? Correct me if I'm wrong) get made fun of. Her big thing is MLP(my lil pony) and people say she's such a weirdo for liking this, even tho the show actually teaches really good values.

I'm mad that she might be a he but people would never believe her. (She once referenced one of the three of us as a trans boy and Idk she could sense that I was trans or referring to herself. I plan to ask)

I'm mad that she hasn't been able to go to school recently and that no one believes her about her misophonia.

I'm mad that when she asks someone to stop an annoying sound, 90% of the time they don't stop.

I'm mad that my shit school won't talk to the assholes who mistreat her and instead put her in the back of the class, change her classes to avoid the people, and completely avoid fixing the problem entirely.

I'm mad.

I'm mad at society and so, so much more.

#autism #acceptance #special interest #special interests #misophonia #actually misophonic #aspergers #toxic masculinity #toxic boyfriend #learning disabilities #learning difficulties #transgender #trans #ftm #queer #stutter #stutters #i'm mad #wtf #society #bullshit