aimlessetymology

[aimlessetymology]

oh to be glaring up at a woman who has a knife in my chest asking her if she’s still human while holding onto her arm in a death grip

#yoon jiwoo #jung taeju #i could go on and on about this dynamic #they deserved more screentime together!!! #my name

[aimlessetymology]

is there some form you'll take,

a shape i'll be able to recognize?

will you come back to me or

will i have to keep searching the shadows for you

like i'm waiting for my end

#rambling #writing #poetry? #poetry #prose #my writing #terfs dni

[aimlessetymology]

is there something to be said about how some of the most powerful/deadly animals on earth often ponder their existences and their relations to other species/each other. is that a thing

#rambling #writing #existentialism #idk what to tag this as

[aimlessetymology]

i never thought i could love this much but the way i ache, hurt for you puts all my past selves to shame. how much i’d give myself to the sole purpose of making you feel all the love you never did

#rambling #writing #poetry? #poetry #prose #my writing

[aimlessetymology]

you are one of the only people who makes me feel so much that i can sense it physically trying to work its way out of my throat. something violent, organic, like i can retch up the presence of you in my heart and still come back to you safe like an animal curling up by a loved one

#rambling #writing #poetry? #poetry #prose #my writing

[aimlessetymology]

decentering men is so fun until you accidentally isolate yourself because you have to realize just how much EVERYONE is conditioned to focus more on men than women and if you're mspec you RARELY ever find people who are willing to entertain you speaking about people other than men and oftentimes you feel unwelcome in sapphic/lesbian circles for their own reasons and

#bisexual #misandry #feminism #decentering men #bisexuality #brought to you by the “my favorite bands include and cherish women but the fandoms are very often extremely misogynistic” committee #rambling #vent #terfs dni

[aimlessetymology]

there’s some amount of love that can be seen in jewelry depicting the human skeleton. this thing that’s inside all of us, that is so heavily scrutinized, is being made into a little charm, a pendant, an ornament, something to display on your person. this thing hanging from a chain that is so judged within the context of the human form is seen as something to be admired, gazed at, loved. suspended in the air like crystals meant to emulate raindrops, or like something anatomical, to be studied with care, or like something used to hypnotize people. jewelry depicting the human skeleton, or sometimes a love letter to the human body in one of the most unaltered forms possible

#rambling #writing #poetry? #poetry #prose #my writing

[aimlessetymology]

you stick out like a sore thumb, you don’t like all the things they like, you can’t bring yourself to fake being one of them, why do you bother?

#rambling #writing #poetry? #poetry #prose #vent #my writing

[aimlessetymology]

i am the only person i feel this amount of grief for

what's wrong with me, i don't even feel like

a human

like an animal in the shape of a person walking amongst

everyone else and feeling their stares

knowing everyone can feel that something's wrong with me

#rambling #writing #poetry? #prose #poetry #vent #my writing

[aimlessetymology]

cage an animal for long enough and they will begin to feel like an animal they will reject their humanity they will gorge themself on being let out and feel sick afterwards

#rambling #writing #prose #my writing

[aimlessetymology]

the hell happened in s2. i know usagi and arisu werent the problem bc i loved them in s1 but what happened. i know the woman that screeched while tackling people and jumped out of multi story buildings with no hesitation was not the same woman who got beaten in a fight by niragi’s crusty half burnt dying self, saw him standing on top of a car with a loaded gun and still showed up with her “ARISU” shtick, and decided to nearly bleed out instead of just saving him normally in the last game. and i know it wasnt her because i wouldve LOVED more of her running on those shipping containers, or whatever happened when she decided to save kota by bringing him to a game. i want more of that instead of elephant hot spring

also i loved the king of spades but what happened to his aim with the main characters. i know ann is enough to distract anyone but they didnt even get grazed. why didnt the queen of spades get a name and why toss in a kid if it wasn’t dodo. just made her a terrible person for no reason

#alice in borderland #usagi yuzuha #arisu ryohei #niragi suguru

[aimlessetymology]

JOHN KRAMER.

i love headcanoning old men as ftm. like considering fandom loves to equate being transmasc to being young no one will probably agree with me but i look into his eyes and see the wisdom only a post-menopausal man could provide

#saw franchise #john kramer #rambling

[aimlessetymology]

i'll hide you behind my eyelids and keep myself fed with memories of you, no matter how much i've been starving

#rambling #writing #poetry? #poetry #prose #my writing

[aimlessetymology]

being a leftist and holding those ideals in your mind and having to come back to life as it is outside of discussions of solarpunk and utopia and automation and realizing how fucking barbaric society is right now, especially just trying to survive as someone who doesnt get the grace of a community or privilege in the white rich cishet person way

#rambling #writing #vent #feminism #terfs dni #leftism #anti capitalism

[aimlessetymology]

misty's greatest crime was saving coach ben

#everyone saying “omg he was in a cabin full of teenage girls who were going insane” yeah so were said teenage girls #he couldnt even hold shauna's hand while she was giving birth or be an adult for a majority of the show #like yeah broken leg and all but there was a pregnant teenager and a kid whos brother got eaten #and neither of them burned down their only shelter in the dead of winter #i hope they eat him and tarnish his reputation in season 3 idk #and leading on misty like that. pinches my nose #i just want a misty backstory and coach ben to die a gruesome death in s3 is that too much to ask #yellowjackets #lottie matthews #shauna shipman #shauna sadecki #jackie taylor #misty quigley #natalie scatorccio #taissa turner #van palmer #cannibalism tw #rambling #coach ben #travis martinez #javi martinez #laura lee

[aimlessetymology]

i feel like grade school gym classes have way more impact than people think on how sports and physical activity are viewed. no one wants to be up at 7am getting into an itchy uniform and being berated if you can’t run laps! but someone in their late teens who can churn out 10-15 pushups whenever they need to microdose endorphins is going to feel so much better about themselves and what their bodies are capable of than someone who (understandably) gave up on exercise after being scared out of it by a gym teacher humiliating them in front of their peers.

i feel like the way exercise is handled within schools (beyond just “lets just do it so we can say The Kids aren’t sitting down all day”) really needs to be reformed and that it has such a huge impact on how exercise is viewed going into adulthood. its so much healthier to just put on a 10 minute yoga video on youtube once a day than to be forced into something that’s traumatizing to a lot of kids with social anxiety, queer kids, kids of color, fat kids, disabled kids, non popular kids, etc etc.

and if you are in any of the groups i just mentioned just try some yoga stuff or stretching or 5 minute workouts at home or pushups etc you’ll feel a lot better and you’ll actually be able to gain muscle + strength train without a bunch of socially anxious teens waiting to bully you for any reason. physical activity is healthy but putting yourself under a microscope regarding exercise isnt

#writing #rambling #my writing #bullying cw #american school system #gymblr

[aimlessetymology]

The little demons of grief came to live with me, in the space between the shadows and the floor.

I can't hear what they're telling me, even though I try.