aflamboyanceofflamingos

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Yeah, but you can't joke about cannibalism, you can joke about replacing Santa and giving darkseid coal

Tim, suddenlly looking up: Oh My God Dick: What? are you okay? What happened? Tim: I just realized why Jason keeps making jokes about how he died Jason: Yeah, because I died. It was a fairly big thing Tim: No, it's because nothing else happened when you were Robin Jason: What Tim: Dick's the original Robin and the first sidekick, not to mention Discowing, so he has a lot to joke about- Dick: Hey! Discowing was cool Tim: No it was not. Neither was Ric without a k. Never be anything but Nightwing Dick: Aw, you like it when I'm myself Tim: No, I'm less tramatized when you're yourself. Anyway, Steph started a gang war, Demon Brat died and came back to life and is still Robin, Duke's not Robin but he started We Are Robin and jumped out of a police car before being a vigilante and I have my own things that we don't need to discus- Dick: Saved the world in a intergalatic baseball game- Jason: Hid the purchase of your own batmoblie in the batarang expenses- Dick: Sunk around and took photos of vigilante at the age of 9- Tim: THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO DISCUSS! Back to what I was saying, Jason's the boring robin Jason: Rude- Tim: You were the good robin, the little crazy shit you did like steal the tires off the batmobile were kinda overshadowed by the fact that you like Jane Austen and you been red hood is because you died so everything you've done since then still has to do with the one thing that happened to you as Robin Dick: Oh My God. You said you were sticking to the same joke over and over again so it would have the same effect, but really you have nothing else to make jokes about Tim: Exactly! Jason: We really don't have to talk about this- Tim: I need to go tell Steph immediately Dick: I need to go tell everyone immediately

#i swear I do like Jason #he's not boring #i have dug myself into a hole with a joke I was half-asleep when making #jason todd #tim drake #batfam #robins

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

The worst part is that he’s still the boring one

Before I got into dc I had heard things about the batfam (no it totally wasn’t because of dp crossover fics stop asking) and everyone had there own character sheet in my head, except for Jason

Dick:

- Bad fashion (discowing/no pants as Robin)

- Hugs

- supposedly nice ass

Tim:

- no spleen?

- gave Robin pants

- fell asleep on a rollercoaster

- good at lying (fake uncle)

Damian:

- “Tt”

- Animals

- sword

Steph

- purple

- waffles

- relationship with Tim involves a brick?

All I heard about Jason was that he died and it was the source of lots of fanfic inducing angst

I had even heard more about duke and cass, and I got into dc before more people started to be aware they existed

Dying was the biggest thing that had happened to Jason but also it was the only thing that happened to Jason even after he came back to life

Tim, suddenlly looking up: Oh My God Dick: What? are you okay? What happened? Tim: I just realized why Jason keeps making jokes about how he died Jason: Yeah, because I died. It was a fairly big thing Tim: No, it's because nothing else happened when you were Robin Jason: What Tim: Dick's the original Robin and the first sidekick, not to mention Discowing, so he has a lot to joke about- Dick: Hey! Discowing was cool Tim: No it was not. Neither was Ric without a k. Never be anything but Nightwing Dick: Aw, you like it when I'm myself Tim: No, I'm less tramatized when you're yourself. Anyway, Steph started a gang war, Demon Brat died and came back to life and is still Robin, Duke's not Robin but he started We Are Robin and jumped out of a police car before being a vigilante and I have my own things that we don't need to discus- Dick: Saved the world in a intergalatic baseball game- Jason: Hid the purchase of your own batmoblie in the batarang expenses- Dick: Sunk around and took photos of vigilante at the age of 9- Tim: THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO DISCUSS! Back to what I was saying, Jason's the boring robin Jason: Rude- Tim: You were the good robin, the little crazy shit you did like steal the tires off the batmobile were kinda overshadowed by the fact that you like Jane Austen and you been red hood is because you died so everything you've done since then still has to do with the one thing that happened to you as Robin Dick: Oh My God. You said you were sticking to the same joke over and over again so it would have the same effect, but really you have nothing else to make jokes about Tim: Exactly! Jason: We really don't have to talk about this- Tim: I need to go tell Steph immediately Dick: I need to go tell everyone immediately

#i really do love Jason pls don’t come after me #he just doesn’t have many memeable moments #i’m sorry again #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #stephaine brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #batfam #robins #i am so sorry

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Tim, suddenlly looking up: Oh My God Dick: What? are you okay? What happened? Tim: I just realized why Jason keeps making jokes about how he died Jason: Yeah, because I died. It was a fairly big thing Tim: No, it's because nothing else happened when you were Robin Jason: What Tim: Dick's the original Robin and the first sidekick, not to mention Discowing, so he has a lot to joke about- Dick: Hey! Discowing was cool Tim: No it was not. Neither was Ric without a k. Never be anything but Nightwing Dick: Aw, you like it when I'm myself Tim: No, I'm less tramatized when you're yourself. Anyway, Steph started a gang war, Demon Brat died and came back to life and is still Robin, Duke's not Robin but he started We Are Robin and jumped out of a police car before being a vigilante and I have my own things that we don't need to discus- Dick: Saved the world in a intergalatic baseball game- Jason: Hid the purchase of your own batmoblie in the batarang expenses- Dick: Sunk around and took photos of vigilante at the age of 9- Tim: THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO DISCUSS! Back to what I was saying, Jason's the boring robin Jason: Rude- Tim: You were the good robin, the little crazy shit you did like steal the tires off the batmobile were kinda overshadowed by the fact that you like Jane Austen and you been red hood is because you died so everything you've done since then still has to do with the one thing that happened to you as Robin Dick: Oh My God. You said you were sticking to the same joke over and over again so it would have the same effect, but really you have nothing else to make jokes about Tim: Exactly! Jason: We really don't have to talk about this- Tim: I need to go tell Steph immediately Dick: I need to go tell everyone immediately

#tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #stephaine brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #batfam #robins #robin #I am so sorry #this is so insensitive #but also really funny #i'm so sorry #i need to stop laughing

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Using the unlimited number of blackmail photos he has Tim starts a social media account where he only post memes made from the photos

Eventually someone realizes that these photos would be impossible to get unless they were on the yj team and there are none of Robin and the account blows up so Tim starts to branch out into other heroes including the batfam

But then Tim has an idea for a meme that only works for a specific photo: one of Batman he took before being Robin

And people go insane because because since it’s clear you can see one of the first iterations of Bruce’s costume that this photo is technically the first clear photo anyone has gotten of the Batman

Which means it can’t be the third Robin because they might not know his age, he was definitely way to young to have taken it

The rest of the batfam come to this conclusion as well and now fear that there is an invisible supervillain following them and the only reason there is nothing of Tim is because the villain wants something from him

There also isn’t any of cass but that was to be expected (she knows but thinks it’s funny to let it play out)

Tim remains oblivious to this revelation because he is busy following Jason to restock his collection of red hood memes since the’re a crowd favorite (Jason is following him at the same time because he’s trying to make sure Tim is safe without saying it) (neither is aware of the other)

“wow it must suck being the only teen titans member without superpowers”

tim drake, with an unlimited number of memes: “are u kidding”

#que a 3 act play of cartoonish like hijinks #Tim looks around a corner to see Jason buying chili dogs #*3 minutes later* #Jason looks around the same corner to see Tim fiddling with a camera #that obviously has nothing to do with the photos being taken #tim drake #jason todd #cassandra cain #bruce wayne #young justice #yj #batfam #dc comics #bart allen #kon kent #cassie sandsmark

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

The Batfam goes to a trampoline park

Dick has been non-stop flipping from trampoline to trampoline and it's a wonder he has yet to throw up

Steph attempted what Dick was doing and threw up

Damian is stuck in the rafters because Jason snuck up on him while he was sulking on a trampoline because Bruce wouldn't let him have another slushy (he already had 3 and was also on the verge of throwing up)

Tim should be in the rafters because Jason did the same thing to him that he did to Damian but no one can find him up there (he's fell a while ago and is taking a nap in the foam pit)

Duke is using his powers to prevent what happened to Tim and Damian from happening to him

Cass keeps beating all the obstacle courses (She found Tim)

Bruce is waiting in the cafe because he doesn't want the kids to have evidence of him wearing the bright green socks the park makes mandatory

#batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #stephaine brown #jason todd #damian wayne #tim drake #duke thomas #cassandra cain #bruce wayne

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Tim Drake owns dress shoes, however he make it a point to wear Vans with his suit in every meeting out of spite and hoping that it will convince Bruce to take his goddam company back from a 17 year old

#he also skateboards in the board room #i know he's capable at his job #But he's also 17 #Why the fuck is he still in charge #Tim wants to know that too #I think Bruce has been waiting for the moment to give the company away in escapes conversations about taking it back in cartoonish ways #tim drake #bruce wayne #ceo tim drake

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Alternatively:

Tim: *opens Damian's door, casually dodging the booby traps he set for this exact purpose*

Damian: Tt- What do you want Drake?

Tim, as he moves a singular pencil from its place: Alfred called

Damian, slowly pulling out a sword: About what

Tim, flexing in the mirror: No clue

Damian, now aiming said sword: Is that all?

Tim: Yep. Bye. *leaves the door just the slightest bit open*

Damian: (－－〆)

The potential of stories with Tim and Damian being the only kids still living at the Manor is criminally overlooked. When you are siblings, and forced to live together, it’s physically impossible to not start hanging out. I should know, I have just one sibling and we spent a lot of time far away from other kids/friends. Who else you’re going to hang around with?

You know that thing all siblings do where they just randomly burst in to the others room and just stand at the doorway, saying nothing? Yeah that.

Damian: *slams Tim’s door open*

Tim: ????

Damian: *stares*

Tim: ????????

Damian: Drake, I demand you to entertain me.

#tim drake #damian wayne #batfam #batfamily #this is an exact transcript of a conversation between me and my sister #Sword included

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

(An Arkam Breakout) The Music Meister: You think you can crush me little Bat? Dick: I think that sounds like a grand idea (A grand piano falls from the sky and crushes Music Meister) Dick: Dick: I Am Magic (Above them) Jason looking at a note as he tracks down the Riddler: I can be played but I’m not a board game, I have keys but I don’t have any locks, I have hammers but I don’t have any nails, I have pedals but I’m not a bicycle, I can be tuned but I’m not a radio What Am I? - The Riddler Jason: What does a piano have to with- (A grand piano narrowly misses his head from where it was strung up) Jason: WHAT THE FU-

#dick grayson #jason todd #music meister #the riddler

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

The two biggest pranksters of the Batfam are Dick and Tim

Dick like to do pranks that are just fun and makes people laugh - His motto is “confuse and amuse, not abuse”

He’s the person who will replace a picture of you with one of a llama

This is the kind of person you want to get into a prank war with (Steph will undoubtedly join and it’s vital she’s on your side)

Tim likes to view pranking as a way to express displeasure towards people he is upset with instead of actually discussing things.

He thinks he’s being a mild inconvenience. He’s actually being psychological terror.

Everything in your room is 2 inches to the left

You keep seeing rubber ducks but they disappear before you can actually get a closer look

You will never feel safe again

#dick grayson #tim drake #batfam #stephine brown

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

When Dick was adopted Bruce probably bought him a bunch of new clothes, and while logically they probably came from some fancy brand, I like to think that billionaire Brucie Wayne went to Gymboree so that up untill he was 11 Dick Grayson had color coded outfits with perfectly matching accesories and that is why as soon as he was able to make his own fashion choices he choose to only wear clothes that clashed enough to blind someone

#dick grayson #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #batfam #I say this as someone who was also a gymboree kid #As soon as middle school came I wore nothing but flannels and sweatpants and i wish i could erase that from memory #now I dress like a mix between an exhausted business man and mourning widow that you're pretty sure actually killed her husband

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

The "Middle Kids" bi-monthly meeting happen at Jason's safehouse against his will because they want to steal his food before he comes back to stop them when one of them stumbles upon his stash of Red Hood voice changing masks that can be adjusted.

Jason comes home to Duke, Steph, Cass, and Tim singing an acapella "Let's Groove" at various different electronic pitches

#jason todd #duke thomas #stephaine brown #cassandra cain #tim drake #“Middle Kids” bi-monthly meetings #think the sound from TikTok for what they sound like

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

The creation of the "Middle Kids" bi-monthly meetings

Duke: is new to the batfam, wants to get along with his new siblings - Does not know what he's getting into

Jason: He's doing this because he wants to not because dick told him too - Also it pisses off the demon brat because it doesn't include him (That where the older kids club came from as well)

Tim: Was forcefullly dragged away from the case he was working on - Bruce was there but allowed because he thought this would rein in the chaos Tim got up to with Young Justice (Little does he know)

Steph and Cass: The ones who did the dragging (They're fully aware that this is going to start as chaos but then actually be helpful as time goes on as the closest to mentally stable ones)

#jason todd #duke thomas #stephaine brown #cassandra cain #tim drake #middle kids #“Middle Kids” bi-monthly meetings

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Reasons why I head canon Tim Drake to be Asian:

- I’m Asian

- The reasons that people have against Tim being Asian, that he fits into a bunch of stereotypes with his parents and stuff, most of that shit is fanon which makes you think that these people saw a rich kid and made him Artemis Fowl

- I know I just bashed on fanon tim but there are a bunch of fics where Tim has a minor stroke everytime he has to refer to either Bruce or Alfred by their first name and believe me when I say that is a feeling I understand

- I’m a firm believer that Bruce is the only white member of the batfam for both comedy reasons and for fluffy family bonding through learning about other cultures reasons

#tim drake #asian tim drake #canon tim drake #fanon tim drake #batfam

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Hal has definitely watch Doctor Who and that’s his theory but everyone else shoots it down in favor of Robin being some kind of Fae and they don’t want to fuck with magic without Zatanna or Constantine

They also know, but it’s funny and they have a bet so if either ones give it away they immediately lose

I have a dumb idea

The justice league (Minus Clark and Diana) thinks that Robin is an immortal being that changes form every 5-10ish years because Bruce never told them he had different robins

Robin I and Bruce having issues near the end was just due to the transformation coming near

Robin II only lasting so long and Bruce’s grief after they attribute to something going wrong with the transformation and do think Robin is dead

However when Robin III comes they assume that Bruce’s grumpiness is attributed to him being over protective after the disaster of the last transformation

The Steph comes and goes back to Tim and they’re all throw but like maybe this version of Robin is genderfluid and they don’t want to be rude so they don’t say anything

And when Damian comes after 5 years it just solidifies this theory as well as Robin probably being genderfluid cause of Carrie

Yes the bat kids have come to the watchtower as Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Spoiler

Bruce is unaware

The batkids know and are keeping up the act as they wait for the perfect moment to descend from the celing, all wearing the robin uniform and traumatizing the Justice League

#hal jordan #zatanna #john constantine #doctor who #fae

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

I have a dumb idea

The justice league (Minus Clark and Diana) thinks that Robin is an immortal being that changes form every 5-10ish years because Bruce never told them he had different robins

Robin I and Bruce having issues near the end was just due to the transformation coming near

Robin II only lasting so long and Bruce’s grief after they attribute to something going wrong with the transformation and do think Robin is dead

However when Robin III comes they assume that Bruce’s grumpiness is attributed to him being over protective after the disaster of the last transformation

The Steph comes and goes back to Tim and they’re all thrown but like maybe this version of Robin is genderfluid and they don’t want to be rude so they don’t say anything

And when Damian comes after 5 years it just solidifies this theory as well as Robin probably being genderfluid cause of Carrie

Yes the bat kids have come to the watchtower as Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Spoiler

Bruce is unaware

The batkids know and are keeping up the act as they wait for the perfect moment to descend from the celing, all wearing the robin uniform and traumatizing the Justice League

#Clark and Diana are also aware #but they’re curious to see how it plays out #so they help the kids keep up the act #clark kent #diana prince #bruce wayne #robin #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephaine brown #damian wayne #carrie kelley #justice league #j’onn is offend that he falls under the no meta rule but Robin clearly being a shapeshifter as well doesn’t #yes he can read minds #no he does not know

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

I have seen no hair dye in the batfam and I believe that is something to be discussed

I get the whole identifying marks is detrimental to secret identities but everyone expect Dick, Damian, and Tim (I refuse to accept the condom head) have some kind off hair covering so…

Cass would rock green tips

Steph absolutely slays purple streaks

Jason stops dying his hair and is somehow mistaken for his aunt

I can’t think of others because I’m tired but yeah

#batfam #jason todd #stephaine brown #cassandra cain #tim drake #dick grayson #bruce wayne #duke thomas #damian wayne #kate kane

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Different dances I know how to do, and who in the batfam I think also knows:

Square Dancing:

- Duke

- Steph

- Bruce

- Tim

- Dick

- Jason

Line Dancing:

- Jason

-Bruce

- Duke

- Cass

Waltz/Ballroom:

- Bruce

- Tim

- Steph

- Damian

- Cass

- Dick

- Duke

Tango:

- All

Ballet:

- Cass

- Duke

- Bruce

Flamenco:

- Steph And Tim (It’s a long story)

- Bruce

Irish Jig:

- Bruce

- Dick

- Jason

- Cass

Swing:

- Tim and Steph (another long story)

- Jason

- Bruce

- Damian

- Cass

Jazz:

- Duke

- Tim

- Bruce

- Steph

Breakdancing:

- Dick

- Duke

- Tim

- Bruce

- Damian

#essentially I think Duke and Cass are the best dancers #but Tim and Steph have gone on a surprising number to missions that need dancing #some of which they had already known #others that they learned halfway through said mission #and Bruce just has a very extensive skill set #cassandra cain #dick grayson #jason todd #bruce wayne #stephaine brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #tim drake #batfam