wingygaming

[wingygaming]

The calm before the storm (Thoughts before Bloodborne arrives)

The click of the mouse as I sealed my own gloomy fate and pressed “buy” to order this digital form of sadomasochistic pain, still reverberates in my head. 

I did it mofos, went from turning a self entitled nose up at a title I had only a fleeting interest in, to actually ordering what I'm expecting to be the hardest game I have ever played, in my entire life.

Reading the plethora of reviews washed with frustration; cries of pain; and pure anger expressed in screams via typed form. I have to admit, this chills my blood a little as I'm filled with a reserved, acceptance, hell is coming, and I might not finish it, and everyone will know; laugh and point. This is what the competitive gamer somewhere deep within my core, long retired has awoken and whispers to me inside my head.

So I don’t want any excuses, I need this game to be as nightmarishly difficult as every man and his mother keeps telling me it is. I need that spine snapping, sheer weight of pressure upon me, an ageing gamer who most certainly doesn't possess the same level of gaming dexterity he used to, but still desperately longs to have skills where he is at the very least relevant. 

This time of clear and blissful reflection before I'm subject to what I'm expecting to be the most comprehensive shock to the system since my old school gaming days, is one I shall cherish; the calm before the storm if you will. I can’t remember the last time I found a game so difficult I never finished it, besides er Evil Within, Chapter 14 Boss, visions of hell and torment still scream within the walls of my cranium. I’ll go back there, when I'm ready…

I have never played any of the previous Souls games, the setting primarily held no real interest to me. I'm more drawn to the cold steel and apocalyptic hopelessness of a Sci Fi scenario, as opposed to magic balls and knobbly staffs of magic. Bloodborne shuffles a little closer to the horror side of the gate, which appeals a little more.

The visuals look to be some of the best I have seen, the art direction; the truly disturbing and at times downright grotesque disgusting creatures that ooze forth from the paving in this title are deeply chilling. Enormous half dead crows struggling to fly pecking their way forward stick in the mind as some of the more uneasy sights I've come across on YouTube. Giant towering creatures with wails that sound recorded directly from hell, but forget all that…

I want to test myself, see what I've got. There are gamers out there who refuse to pick this game up due to the actual difficulty. Part of me, deep inside; at the tender young age of 36, still feels he may be a little too old to hang with the kids with this game.

Well I plan on not only beating it, I plan on beating this fu**ing game in style. We’ll see who’s casual. Thumb grips for the analogue stick are placed upon the dual shock 4 like snug socks, this will be brutal, deep breaths inhaled.

I just received the email “your game has been dispatched and is on the way” at the time of writing. I won’t let you down, I won’t let myself down. BLOODBORNE. I'm going in. 

Find out; chuckle and guffaw at how I get on (or don’t) at the YouTube below...

© Wingy 2015

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#bloodborne #difficult #preview #dark souls #noob #gaming #games #hard #challenge #wingy #ukwingchunstudent #playstation 4 #ps4

[wingygaming]

Smash Bros Wii U, Simple but stress free

It goes like this, Intense digestion of move sets; frustration and embarrassment; inner torment and the feeling of knowing you are many times over, much better at fighting games then your 12 Win 89 Loss online record is laughing back toward you.

This to me, in my mid thirties, is where fighting games lie at the moment.

I've forbidden myself Killer Instinct Season 2 time, almost as if it's a bad habit. Literally avoiding a popular title within my favourite genre, simply because I feel I’m so far behind anything close to what I personally would class as acceptable standards, upsetting.

Play on the title would only serve to frustrate, treading water at a barely competitive level. It’s depressing, and clearly highly ridiculous I feel this way toward fighting games; my favourite genre.

Somewhere along the way my relationship with these titles has clearly been knocked askew lol.

My history with Smash Brothers is Smash Bros Melee on the GameCube, it began and ended there. I never took the series serious as a fighting game per se. I booted the game up probably twice on my Gamecube at the time, and then dismissed its simplicity; ease of use and even more bizarrely its fun factor.

With fighters, all I've ever known was competition; the arcade machine; the crowds; online competition, the gut wrenching pressure, and the stinging pain the embarrassment of the loss can bring, "fun" rarely entered into any equation. In fact, putting the word fun, next to competitive fighters, was an act, almost somewhat, filthy.

Then my child re introduced me to Smash, via the 3DS version they had recently obtained. One quick play of it turned into ten, to 20; skip forward to me impulse buying both Wii U and 3DS versions that very same day.

Smash Wii U still feels overly simplistic, I forgot how stripped down and basic this series actually was, almost embarrassingly so for a hardcore fighting gamer. No 300 move lists like a Virtua Fighter or Soul Caliber.

A spinning feeling of chaos and mayhem to the proceedings, dare I even say, perhaps a feeling of happiness? Enjoyment? These concepts are sheer blasphemy, at least in my warped perception of how fighting games should be played.

I can’t remember the last time I tackled a fighting game it was possible to enjoy, without having to memorize a bible of moves lists; combos and juggles. I just pick my favourite character that inspires the warmest feelings of nostalgia (either Pacman or Sonic at the time of writing) and I go all out. Quite unusually I even feel something close to tactics and timing inserting itself into my Smash play, something I never expected.

I still can't let go of a lot of my fighting game traditions, I must have my characters as large as possible via the surprisingly flexible options, also I prefer one on one play, anything more then three to me is still a little silly, but...

It can’t be stressed enough, the pure freedom of seeing 40 something fighters and telling myself through streaming tears of joy and relief that I can jump right in with any of them and play. Not have to tediously memorise anything besides the variations that come with each individual attack from the said character, because the inputs are all the same, for each one! This is unheard of! Akin to witch craft!!! 

I won't offer any falsehood, rest assured my most anticipated game thus far for 2015 is Mortal Kombat X. I am an old school style fighting gamer deep down to the marrow encased by my ageing bones, and by the time MK X is released I will be back to nine or so hours in the training room/dojo level, attempting to main a character I already know I won’t be able to give the appropriate attention to, and will end up losing horribly with online, over and over...

Right now though, I’m in the Smash Moment. As should have been expected, it’s taken Nintendo to remind me a genre I lost a little love for, can be actually be fun and for that I thank them. I may even go online with this sh*t...

© Wingy 2014

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#super smash bros #wii u #review #fighting games #beat em ups #simple #fun #wingy #ukwingchunstudent

[wingygaming]

Alien Isolation and fear in gaming!

I scare easily when it comes to gaming, a confession. Upon first glance, perhaps you would not place me alongside the more timid petals of the world. But when it comes to dark corridors; metallic hallways and if the sun has fallen outside, I'm a sucker for anything that's close to frightening in gaming. I think this stems from my early years, Freddy Krueger, he's still there you know...

Of course all of this is a good thing. I love being forced to venture tentatively toward feelings deep within myself I'm a little reluctant to embrace. The fact games can take me here is testament to developers creativity and talents. I hope Alien Isolation may take me to that next level; true fear in gaming.

We’ll go back ten or so years, creeping through arguably the most constricting and frightening gaming experience I’ve ever had, the infamous “robbing the cradle” level on Thief deadly shadows, Xbox. Nothing to this day has really taken me to the terrifyingly bleak depths those levels pulled me down into.

Even the original Bioshock unnerved me in parts. The atmosphere so perfectly pitched in that game at points, it was genuinely disturbing. For the love of all that is holy, there’s even a level in the recent Tomb Raider that actually felt a little scary. Many parts of The Last Of Us, namely the darker quieter sections, were to be honest, fu**ing unbearable; so perfectly executed, the effect on a gamer as fragile to the horror experience as me, was catastrophic.

So Alien Isolation, I have monitored closely measured amounts of information about the title I have allowed myself to be drip fed. I don’t want to overdose. I’ve witnessed two short videos of the game, and that will suffice until I purchase. I’ve scanned over a few written previews, but cautiously; less is more. I want nothing diluting my experience.

A single Xenomorph led by one thing only, a stone hearted basic instinct to expire you. The infamous motion tracker from the films, which when used, lightly softens the focus of the surrounding view, brilliance. The Xenomorph independently reacting and using vents; corridors, a single minded all encompassing goal, your death.

Those who have played the initial demo build reveal the Alien approaches you from several different angles with each play through. It was this though…

“It doesn't follow any prescribed path, or set of behaviours telling it to do specific things. It’s just reacting to the players presence, and the choices that the player makes” Gary Napper a designer on the game, talking about the Xenomorph.

Video game horror is for me is more close; claustrophobic. Be it the headphones clamped to our heads directly funnelling a plethora of meaty effects or atmospheric sound into the ear. Or advancements in gaming hardware tech, allowing environments to be so very finely detailed with gloom, and allowing demons to breathe; to live.

Many different and varying ingredients must be correctly taste tested and baked into a Horror game if the designers end result is for me personally to be scared sh**less when playing it. A dribbling beast that’s stepped foot or hoof into clear view; awkwardly, out of the shadows to stand in the full naked light and then reverberate as you empty a sea of slugs into it and any close or distant relatives it’s accompanied by, doesn’t for me count as scary.

One video I allowed myself to peek at, in a moment of weakness encapsulated all that I hoped for. Deep heavy breathing, a motion tracker, and a dark corridor.. This video here

A hundred Zombies attacking me in a game, no matter how rich in detail the sores and assorted afflictions upon their softening bodies are, doesn't frighten me. It might be damn well awesome, but not frightening.

A primary focus on creating the detail upon only the main opposing monster (s) in a title can taint the goodness within other various elements that would be highly appreciated by those seeking true fright. I.E. Sound, Atmosphere and for me one of the most important aspects, well balanced preferably flickering lighting.

I can’t wait to get into Alien Isolation. For the first time in a while, probably since I had to face head on the unfiltered pure actual doom of walking through that asylum in Thief. Yes, for the first time since that moment, I think I’m going to be truly taken to hell again, and I can't wait!

© Wingy 2014

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[wingygaming]

Why I need a Wii U.

Extreme anger; a furious roar of apparent excruciating pain, followed by a cold chill of instant resignation. Then for a few heavy; hanging minutes afterwards, a soul sapping outpouring of unhappiness within. A possible onset of welling tears from behind my eyes; then a loud sigh as I slam the off button on the console, as if it’s a form of punishment toward the machine, some kind of final execution. 

Welcome to a few of my recent gaming experiences. Non stop continual violence and aggression batter my senses daily. Also, a struggle within me, a back and forth so present, I am physically rocked as I wrestle with the eternal dilemma. A need and desire to retain my gaming skills balanced with my ability to let loose and enjoy my Gaming.

These worlds are the ones within which I always reside. Now I feel like I want to step foot outside these spaces, and explore elsewhere.

I want my eyes to focus upon new pastures, let my pupils dilate with wonder and my mind melt; revitalised. The numerous ear splitting explosions and uncountable scenes of death have splattered me with so much claret, my skin is a rich deep red. I feel all of this, is why the time is right, for that Wii U purchase.

I own a Nintendo 3DS. It was purchased primarily to game with younger family members who live further away. This was the first Nintendo console I’d purchased brand new since the release of the Gamecube. Playing Super Mario 3D land, Mario Kart 7 and even Animal Crossing new leaf with the little one eased the senses in a way gaming hasn’t in quite a while. The feeling akin to someone turning the blaring speakers instantly to a silent drop in a heaving rammed club. Everything just felt a little easier.

Being grown adults naturally affords us the instinctive auto filter that funnels through what we absorb and react to when gaming, there’s something recently for me that feels a little more settling. It’s playing a game that’s more based in fantasy and fun, as opposed to the alternative, being gore; death and guns.

My three favourite genres of Gaming: Fighting, Stealth and Open world/Sandbox by default usually invite assorted scenes of some form of hand to hand life extinction, intense one on one physical combat or shooting. This has been my nourishing gaming sustenance primarily for as long as those areas of Video Game entertainment existed. Then I played Rayman Legends for the first time earlier this year, my first time purchasing a light hearted title in a very long time outside of recent 3DS purchases. I loved it.

I felt as if I’d been denied all these years, very simple, pretty kid like – but a much needed switch of environment for me personally as a Gamer. Sadly I got drawn back into the bloodbath and the disc lies somewhere in my gaming room discarded like a one night stands knickers. That game was a much needed respite and I want that feeling again.

While I enjoyed my various Nintendo consoles throughout my life since the Nes, it was the graffiti emblazoned dark and gritty worlds of Streets of Rage which ignited my fires like nothing else. Two Crude Dudes; Eternal Champions; Final Fight. For a lot of gamers at this time, Zelda etc was their realm, the aforementioned titles were mine. Combat and rage, this kneaded my saliva glands; made my mouth salivate. The danger; the fighting; the aggression. It was a little different from when I played punch out on the N.E.S.

Then of course the ascension of the FPS playing Doom for the first time, the blood; the fresh meat and the ribs protruding from the scattered corpses of obliterated demons, delicious.

This influenced my gaming tastes throughout my teens and ultimately into adult hood. Now as I sit within my mid thirties; accompanied by a demeanour and mood a little more mellow (those who watch my Youtube videos may disagree) I feel that the expressed rage I Alluded to at the beginning of this article emphasised for me, that it may be time to reboot.

That long silenced translucent angel atop my shoulder, lost the taste which precedes the insatiable desire to electronically murder or beat up anyone a while ago. Right now I feel I want more (not all) but more of the worlds I interact with to be a little more bright; inspiring and less bereft of hope and pessimistic.

This is why I think the new videos of Mario Kart 8 came along at just the right point in my gaming; an ethereal smiling figure motioning from afar toward me whispering...

"put down the guns, and have some fun"

I wasn't expecting videos of the game to have the effect on me they did. Then I remembered I haven't played a game without blood splashed around liberally within, for a long time.

I went back and did a little light research on the titles I'd pick up, if I was to be so bold and just take the plunge and buy a Wii U. Every game I selected as a possible candidate to assist my rehab, looked fun. Nothing else, just fun. I like that.

I tried to deny it; attempted to shake off the feel. I couldn't, that place over there, in that game; over at Nintendo, looked like paradise. It’s a party over there; a holiday. Too much blood over here right now, which has to have some kind of subtle understated trade off with ones mood/temperament.

Mario World 3D; Super Mario Bros U; Pikmin 3 I just want to go on a Gaming get away at these sunny locations for a little while. Even the music over there is more uplifting and cheerful. A month or so at the very least, maybe a slightly extended stay.

Writing this blog has convinced me, f**k it I’m getting a WII U this month. A full year and a half on since it leaped onto the market, fluttering eye lids full of innocent wonder.

I won’t even attempt to divert attentions from my long time and established passions in gaming. I know where my home is; I know I will return to my Killer Instincts, Titanfalls; infamous second sons and Watchdogs. This brief affair could only last a few passion filled months, only for that super thick layer of dust that all forgotten consoles inevitably attract, to find a home atop it.

Too much of the same drug, can numb the pleasure receptors to the euphoria they once felt. So I’m going to be standing alongside the Wii U as it begins it’s slow decent into the depths of gaming lore and history. 

I don’t call it kiddy gaming, I call it nostalgia. 

See you on Rainbow road motherfu**ers

© Wingy 2014

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[wingygaming]

Grand Theft Auto V The game of a generation

There are of course many beautiful things we witness as humans within the sphere of our existence. Nature; birth; life itself. Many timeless events; moments that encapsulate the collective feelings; emotions and moods of a culture. Or perhaps even just the simple breath taking beauty of a setting sun over proud majestic mountains. Or the tingle as one wonders upon an awe inspiring piece by the great Rembrandt. 

Moments that leave an impression upon hearts; that weave the tapestry which tells mankinds tale. For gamers, one particular moment is but a few short days away. That moment is... 

Grand Theft Auto V

My brothers and sisters this is it. If you are reading this, the chances are you know what's going down September the 17th. If you happen to be a dazed baby deer gormlessly gawping into oncoming headlights; clueless with ya mouth hanging open, then to explain the phenomenon of GTA would take more words than would be fitting for an easily digestible blog read. 

The Grand Theft Auto series has sold more than 125 Million copies since its release way back when it appeared on the dusty old Playstation 1. Grand Theft Auto 4 sold 11 Million copies in the first month. The FIRST MONTH! A dizzying total of 125 Million lifetime sales. These numbers are astronomical. It's not a game, it's quite literally a revolution in gaming. 

It's the world; the freedom. The side quests within that world. The playground, the sheer size of the map within which you are free to create all manner of offensive, delicious havoc. Go ahead, cause hell and indulge in  all the crime ridden fantasies you desire. You've always wanted to, no one is looking. So go on then... 

The unified euphoria of day one. Knowing millions are within that very same world, peering around, gobsmacked. Albeit disconnected from your experience (until Grand Theft Auto Online drops a couple of weeks afterwards) That once in a lifetime gaming moment. Shared. That "zoom out to see how big the f**king map is" moment only hardcore sandbox game lovers appreciate. When we zoom out while looking at this games map, the big one; GTA5, we may actually die. 

My dear friend reading this, finish off the remaining games you have lingering about the place like so many discarded chicken bones, stinking. Get those titles done with and thrown in the bin. It's close to offensive to have them sharing the same space. It's time to unofficially wave a solemn goodbye to the current generation of consoles, with the last big release for their tired aching disc trays, approaching. The last big release which happens to be the most epic title in gaming. What a send off.

Listen to me, you will never as a gamer have this moment again. Where were you on September the 17th when Grand Theft Auto 5 was released? More than a new city. More grandiose in scope and vision than simply a different era to place some GTA story in. No, this is quite simply the biggest most captivating and epic Grand Theft Auto title you will have ever played, and I have still yet to play it. 

San Andreas will seem blocky, constricted and pea sized in comparison. Perhaps even funny. The joy and freedom you felt in that game will be replicated on a scale like nothing else, our little pea brains will barely be able to drink it all in. This is even before any kind of expansion pack or additional new stories within the world have been dropped on our dumbfounded simpleton skulls. The best is still yet to come. 

Three protagonists. Each with a different interesting story to weave. Each man having trekked upon a unique and individual path, yet they almost coalesce into one for this most significant chapter of their lives. With vastly different boots each has walked in.

Those of you who haven't already booked off the 17th of September and the days that follow need to construct those creative excuses, now. My unlucky girlfriend has chose to accept the upcoming very prominent intrusion within the dynamic and balance of our relationship. She, unlike some heartless hags, has chose to simply embrace the inevitable. In the manner of a loyal wife allowing the husbands mistress to occasionally visit as she weeps alone upstairs, as they make love. Over and over. My girlfriend knows there will now be someone else. Grand Theft Auto 5.

Rockstar have in so many words hinted at there being old cities they would like to return, this can happen; the map can be increased. There has even been Rockstar talk of extending the cities within the game to that of the all encompassing global arena of some kind of actual international world map. 

However....that for now, is simply too much to comprehend. This game will be an experience beyond what my tiresome outpouring of text can even attempt to portray. Individual streets with life, hidden pockets of ghettos and suburbs. Stories; lives; missions and death. The literal sandbox, and it is here. 

Prepare yourself for what will more than likely be the greatest game you will have played thus far in your life. Grand Theft Auto 5, and it is just around the corner. Los Santos and all that's within and surrounds it (and maybe a bit more), is waiting. 

See you there. 

© Wingy 2013

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[wingygaming]

A letter to the Megadrive, the greatest console of all time!

Dear Megadrive

I just want to sit down, and seriously if I may, take a moment out to thank you man. I've never sat down with you and actually told you this, but really, thank you. Megadrive, you were the f**king best bro.

You had my back through some of the most important years of my life brother. My school years, when I needed you the most? My boy The Sega Megadrive was there. Listen, we both know I owned many consoles before you fam, yo and a computer or two, and of course the Super Nintendo made me switch allegiances for a while; I mean come on, the snes was powerful, it was beastly. Super Mario World had 96 something levels. And the mysterious Mode 7, how did it stretch stuff like that? I was so envious of the snes owners. I had to do it...I'm sorry, but did your boy not come back?

Tell me one thing though, did I or did I not remain Megadrive strong? It felt like me and you against the world my  brother.

Sonic the Hedgehog? Are you kidding me? A whole other level man. The first game that brought us together. The speed, the music and the graphics. Those visuals. That twinkling sea on the Green Hill Zone. The rich blue sky, the sounds. This was an enormous leap. I didn't have too many friends at school, You reached out to me; you guided me. The simple fact is, you made my early to late teenage years an absolute joy, more than any other single friend ever did.

I started to question if I ever needed to really leave the house to enjoy life, so I rarely did. You was my companion as a young teenager. I gamed before you of course. My trusty spectrum 48 and 128k  Master System, Nes and more all served their purpose. You were different though, something about you. Gaming came alive for me with you, the Sega Megadrive 16 Bit revolution. It makes me extremely proud to say I lived through your era as a kid. Not pretending to claim to be retro, as is of course the fashion of some gamers today. I was there, living it, with you.

You without doubt shaped my very being.

You seemed to come along at the exact moment in my life to provide a solid and stable correct foundation. The happiness and unforgettable moments we shared without question shaped me as a character and a person. Alongside me Megadrive, you guided me like sensei Gouken shaping Ryu and Ken, from boys to young adults.

Speaking of which, you were also the console that gave birth to my love of what became my favourite genre in gaming. Fighting games. We all know the games. Streets of Rage, Streets of rage 2 and 3 all of which I have purchased again... for you. Two Crude dudes, only the hardcore will remember that...

These titles helped a lonely slightly weird kid escape. Losing myself within the games, as opposed to within the streets my homey.

I thought about girls now and then as a young teen, I was human after all but none would be interested in the chubby nerd who read CVG, Mean Machines and the like. Gaming had a stigma attached to it. I didn't play football like the cool boys. I wasn't any good at sports. I didn't smoke cigarettes, I came with a distinct lack of bad boy appeal. I was a gamer. I could only communicate to these girls; anyone actually, through the medium of gaming somehow. It had to relate to games if I was to strike a conversation. Of course, this approach to the opposite sex bore no fruit.

Street fighter 2 special champion edition and what that particular game gave to me as a young kid deserves its own separate blog. The thick black boxes and cartridges. The literally hundreds of games that I played either via borrowing or swaps or out right, hard worked ownership. Alienstorm; Ecco the dolphin; Eternal champions; Space Harrier, Outrun, After burner, Golden Axe, Revenge of Shinobi, Toe jam and Earl. How long should this list go on for? How many have I forgotten? Megadrive, let's not front, me and you had a fu**ing blast boy.

The music from games of this era has buried itself so deep within me, I can remember almost every theme note for note. Physical evidence of how much I played these titles over and over. 

My parents were not rich it took me a year working various endless paper rounds to put money toward a console, only then would my parents help out and your games were so expensive man! The underground swap system at school served me well. We gathered behind the PE Hall, while the other boys smoked, and performed gross sexual acts with fingers on girls behind the bike sheds and what have you. We sat within a circle, emptied our backpacks as your games boxed and unboxed clattered into a pile and the swaps were on. One triple A title for two of lesser quality and so on and so forth. Once they were completed, or "clocked" as REAL old schoolers used to say, we would all meet again.

Megadrive, haha, you remember that time I got hold of a Japanese cartridge, and actually sawed the edges off to see if it would work inside you, and it did! The game escapes me but the scary and almost alien nature of this new world of Japanese gaming; the text the varying themes. You let me play them, and I thank you for it.

So even though many games on you passed me by into the night, due mostly to being a kid at school who couldn't afford them. All the big hitters I owned through some means, fair or foul and loved them. Plus I am currently re building your collection now, just to show how much you mean to me Megadrive.

Dominic Diamond, Gamesmaster Patrick Moore R.I.P. The Games Mistress, Gamesworld which I appeared on and won, as well as bad influence with violet berlin which I graced with my presence and also conquered. It was thanks to you, you was there through all of it. No other console even to this day held such a close connection with me. I think we were so close mainly because of my age, not a boy, but not yet a man.   

Few were there right in the mix of seminal moments such as the release of Virtua Racing, coming complete with additional jiggery pokery within the actual cartridge to provide something that was visually for the time off the charts, you worked like a shire horse to make that happen. Not a fan spinning inside you to be seen, sh*t got hot and unlike the p*ssy ass consoles of today, you dealt with it, processed that b*tch like a motherfker. I'm still proud of you for that one man.

Then of course the Mega CD and 32X Both of which I owned. The 32X I was lucky enough to get on launch, although let's be honest, you never really liked it did you man, lol, was you jealous I got it and had to attatch it inside you? Bit degrading wasn't it. Sorry bro.

I wish I could express the enjoyment you gave me now twenty something years ago. Whenever school was done, as the uncontainable elation of the final bell for the last lesson hit. I looked at the clock and knew you was at home waiting as soon as the teacher was done. If you wasn't there, if I never had you, who knows how long I would have survived out there on those heartless streets. I made a bee line from school directly to my room, and gamed, and gamed...and gamed...and gamed...

When a proposal to meet after school was folded up into a delicate small square and left on a girl who would be the target of my affections desk, only to be ignored, as was standard for me. Who was there for me to soften the throbbing blow of rejection and to dampen the stinging burn of shame, you was. Everytime Megadrive, you was there.

The magazines were ridiculous, I got every one possible, every month without fail. Part of my reason for still buying gaming magazines today is the nostalgia of when I threw pennies at em back when me and you used to kick it. These things were like bibles back in the day. When we had no internet!

It's good to have you back after all these years. For those who offend your name and honor by emulating, we pass them by; let them perform their sacrilege. They dare to call themselves retro gamers. We know the deal though. We peer upon them with one eyebrow raised. For suspect activities like this in Gaming, suggest suspect activities elsewhere in their lives.

For those who say they are retro but only entered gaming the last couple of generations, we call for them to be hung. (Only those claiming to be retro - otherwise, of course if you are new to gaming we welcome you with open arms) Gaming is more than playing a game, to some of us, it's literally a way of life, as explained here, and you was part of that Megadrive.

You were the best, and you mean so much to me. So much we missed out on together, but we're back re united. Thank you Megadrive. 

The greatest console of all time.

Yours sincerely. Wingy

© Wingy 2013

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[wingygaming]

My collectors edition addiction and my plea for help!

When I contacted Game the store, nervously quivering with excitement at what I had just innocently stumbled across online, it was then; that precise kernel of time when i knew I had a problem. This sh*ts getting worse for me my gangstas. Prickly beads of hot sweat budding on my forehead. Breathing deeper and at a faster rate. I'm sick, I needed this f***ing sh*t and I'll get it. 

I said to Game, all giddy, voice trembling like a freshly gobbed on Justin Bieber fan... 

"Saints Row 4 has Empower Zinyacks Game Of The Generation Edition. I need it!!!" 

I had neither checked the price, nor had I displayed any concern to such trifling details as to what was to come with this gaming equivalent of a grotesquely over sized Kinder Egg. A Kinder Egg that costs over one hundred pounds. 

This ridiculously bloated, sweaty edition of Saints Row 4 arrives complete with a spinning illuminated case to put your game in! This is where the trembles begin. That heady rush of the addiction speeds up my heartbeat. I'm already lightly salivating at the thought of testing the weight of the product in both hands before opening it. This is real gaming collectors obsessive stuff...

This Saints Row 4 Game Of The Generation Edition comes with a spinning case! Is that not amazing? Right there and then, the pieces of gold required increase. I have to get it. Imagine displaying your all time favourite game in this glorious heavenly plinth! Be it Saints Row or something else worthy of its all encompassing grandeur. Weep real tears from each eye ball and gaze upon this picture:

So quite clearly I have issues. I know it makes no sense to keep doing this to my self but I continue to do so. I feel stripped of my essence and cheated within if I purchase a copy of a game without some form of completely unnecessary tripe bundled along with it. 

I have had this Collectors Edition Syndrome for a while. This blog presents neither the solution nor the understanding, more a place for me to verbally release the flood gates of pain, to someone. Dear god.

The Saints Row 4 version I have already pre ordered arrives alongside a plastic toy gun that pumps out dubstep; a toy model figure; plus a plastic button, that doesn't do anything. It's just a red button. Like the president has... yes...one of them nuclear get ups. No bombs attached though. Just the button. To look at. 

Yet somehow, within the dank caverns of my dusty braincells, this fact I will physically own a version of the Wub Wub gun; in my hands, is quite possibly one of the greatest things to happen to any man upon this earth. Are there others out there that feel like this, that have this need to purchase these exclusive editions just because?

At the time of writing this blog I'm not even sure the "spinning case" edition is available in the UK but I need that, I need the sweet hit. I will get it, and the shakes have returned. I paid an additional £40 for the "Wub Wub" edition of Saints Row 4 in itself already. Proposterous.  

It seems I can't actually resist that beefed up version of a standard title, but why? It was then, with the release of this latest Saints Row game i realised, I have some kind of problem. Gaming as a hobby can be expensive enough, without the addition of an overpriced toy to fatten up the total cost of the product.

Collectors editions of games, I have never been able to resist their teasing beckon. The more elaborate flamboyant and boxed physically bigger, the better. The cool steel book against my warm fleshy cheek. In effect, every game I purchase, I pay almost double the price for it. Simply to have the toys inside... I can't help it. The in game extra weapons and levels that inevitably come with it all are cool but it's the plastic dolls; the bits, the feeling of exclusivity, which isn't really that exclusive. 

The awkwardness of explaining to the mrs why I own a plastic toy figure of Lara Croft via the Tomb Raider survival edition is only slightly more unsettling then knowing I am actually slightly attracted to this figure. Here we are together in a video:

Add to that, I could actually purchase the toy (and the other trinkets) separately anyway on the website! That exclusive collectors edition wasn't even exclusive! Which tends to be the case with many of these so called exclusive editions. Why not buy the individual trinkets I want? Because I am a tool.

So it seems, in every which way that the good lord can dictate, I'm getting mugged. 

So why do I waste my money on this total sh*t. My Halo Reach legendary edition being arguably the peak of this ridiculousness. Despite this being some seriously cool shiz. Check my video here...

Why do I do it? Why is there a fat copy of Grand Theft Auto 5 with a Los Santos baseball cap that will of course be too circus clown- esque; hilariously small to even perch atop my proud shaven shining black dome. Complete with a useless "safety deposit" bag and other shite, why is this waiting for me? Pre ordered since it was announced. Why do this to myself? Why am I paying £100+ for a game I could be paying £40 for? Why are the tears falling again down my cheeks? 

I'm almost as excited for the physically larger than average box the extra goodies are coming in, than I am the exclusive bits themselves. Weird and strange. 

The only conclusion I've baked up, is my love of games goes beyond simply playing them on a screen as the mortals do. My love of games starts at the most basic level. The pretty sexy packaging they arrive wrapped in. 

It's akin to, reading the game instruction manuals on the bus on the way home as a kid. A joy strictly reserved for us old school gamers. The manuals were thick back then and of course we took the bus home from town, we were kids! Sat there reading every page engrossed. This then ritually continued with the time honoured ceremony of cracking the Megadrive cartridge right out of the case. Sniffing the thing, drinking in its newness. Pushing it into the Megadrive slot, the ever so subtle resistance as we went deeper. Or the solid definiate snap of the original NES cartridges entering.

The extra trinkets we can touch and play with in exclusive editions today, perhaps, in some way, are harking back to these memories of more physical intimate contact with our games. Instead of handling them with the precision of a surgeon as we remove our brand new Blu-Ray or DVD from the game case, with the ever present fear of it snapping in two as we do so. Back then we had a more physical relationship with each title; it was the whole package. I think I'm onto something here...

It could be argued us collector and exclusive edition buyers are the most hardcore of gamers in a sense. Our life long obsession with the game begins to flourish before we've even played one second of the blasted thing.

I don't even display the horde of ludicrous treasure I've now amassed. They all remain boxed. Hidden away. Zombie dolls; statues; models; character journals. All still resting within their tombs, as if anticipating the moment some kind of life-force itself will drift over them via a magic mist and give them existence, breathe life into their very useless plastic being. For them then to rise as one and attack their master. A more bizarre and several times over disturbing remake of Toy Story. So it's not even for decorative reasons I get these things. 

Perhaps it's the retro hunter in me, my pursuit of all my old systems and games I traded in heartlessly in my older years has taught me to keep everything and get the best version now, to be preserved in the fashion of a classic vintage, let it age. 

As the next gen arrives, as consoles are purchased as my finances continue to dwindle and dry up due to my gaming in general, I come to this disturbing conclusion...

There's little time to think of bills; food; heating and electricity, when there's Splinter Cell plastic Sam Fisher model edition on the way in Blacklist. 

Sold to the gullible twat. 

© Wingy 2013

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[wingygaming]

Why The Last Of Us is a masterpiece (Spoiler Free)

My spluttering garbled speech and nonsensical babbling in video form, could in no way describe the sheer perfection and the utterly hopeless but truly captivating world Naughty Dog have given birth to for our pleasure, I'm still gobsmacked. So I take to quill and goat skin to attempt to convey what's inside. If you would be so kind...

By my very nature as a person and as a gaming Blogger and Vlogger I tend to usually walk a path that's a little lopsided; different than that of the masses, I find this just naturally happens. So with the risk of sounding the same as everyone else who has seen or played this game, I have to say...it's the perfect farewell in a sense to the current generation. The Last Of Us has done us proud. Console owners should feel a warm glow. Our machines have gone out fighting.

I thought in this blog I would focus on exactly why the game works without dropping any spoilers or plot leaks whatsoever. This is something other articles and reviews on this game seem unable to do. I wouldn't be able to rise from my greasy pit in the morning and even come close to calling my self an aspiring gaming writer, if I didn't attempt to put into words the impression this game has left on me. So here it is...

The feeling I was left with was this: Less is more. The game has a meaty (literally in many cases) campaign, it has of course bullet blasting action and scares by the blood filled bucket load, but it's paced so, that it's not a constant bombardment, numbing you to the experience; it's not around every corner like Dead Rising. It hits the sweet spot perfect. This balance is brave for an action game and also applaudable. 

It would have been easier from a creative standpoint to have beast after beast run at you in timed sequences. In other words, filling the world with enough to haunt you when there is nothing actually present threat wise, is also a technical achievement in itself. The slow walk through the dying streets and roads. The subtle echo of music or in some cases, just a soundtrack of various eerie noises that implies the undercurrent of terror that exists in even the quietest moments. Delicious portions of silence; two unlikely partners; companionship, these are part of the shining achievement that is The Last Of Us. I absolutely love it. 

Many areas you walk through on your mission with Ellie as the tired and worn Joel, sometimes are totally void of any life, often you will trudge through desolate buildings expecting an ambush of some kind, only to emerge unscathed, left with merely the lingering threat. You can often see where families have rounded up essentials and ran; escaped the delirious infected hordes, and never returned.

One friend said to me, there's not enough going on in some places; wide open scenery. I agree and I think it's perfect. You are The Last Of Us. Most of mankind is dead from disease, the streets are unforgiving and almost empty. Cars have plants growing within and around them. Doors are left open on homes. Abandoned. You genuinely feel like the last scattered survivors on earth. Not because you've read you are, but the nature of the game dictates you are without even actually telling you this.

On a higher difficulty setting I would imagine the monsters increase, but for me, this would knock the pacing of the game off. A perfect game design should be comfortably challenging enough on Normal no matter how good you are. That's what the Last of us is.

Another element, the clickers and infected. The most gruesome and physically disgusting creations in a game I can remember seeing. It's because they look how you would imagine someone to actually look, if an epic end of world physically deforming virus struck. Over grown sores, repulsive growths and grotesque biological webs of infection growing on the ceilings and floors. Seriously horrible looking stuff. Again, not as wild, scary or sharp toothed as many other in game beasts from other titles, but just approaching the fine line of being realistic enough to gross you out. Less is more. 

And finally the acting. Joel (Troy Baker) has to be one of my favourite video game characters for acting performance of all time. With the added element of Ellie in the mix, the sometimes awkward; touching and often frosty word play between these two is truly a joy to watch. Joel is understated; serious, is old tired and a little bitter with life. Yet every so often, deep underneath his cold nature, warmth shines through. His blossoming relationship with Ellie is a true highlight in the game and alongside the other actors, only serves to draw you further in as you play.  

So for me The Last Of Us works because it holds back more than other action games. This restraint for me, invests a little more of the players emotion in the story, the dialogue and the acting. Playing through an action game simply to enjoy every superbly motion captured cut scene, and to see the conclusion of a story is not something I can remember doing in a long time.  Normally I play through an action game, solely for the action alone. 

Last of us is an action survival horror game, and you will be shooting; stabbing and Molotov cocktailin' lots of Zombie like humans (With some pretty gory animations) but it's more about how the story is told and how the pace of the game is for me; its heartbeat.

Games like this are why I love my consoles. 7 or so years on, as I am constantly reminded by PC elitists my machine is some kind of heresy, yet it sings to me a masterpiece like this game. If you are a gamer I would have no problem recommending purchasing a second hand PS3 just to be there at this moment in gaming. You will tell the kids about this title one day, when this game is considered Retro, and you will tell them it was a classic. 

  © Wingy 2013

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[wingygaming]

Sony won the conference but Microsoft won the games?

I think so, if we look back at both shows, on a game by game basis. I was very impressed with the Xbox one titles, more so than the Playstation 4 ones. One could argue the fact they were exclusive IP's contributed heavily to my favoring Microsofts offerings. I imagine some very impressive Playstation 4 exclusive games to be announced the coming months as well. However the fact is, I'm a gamer, and Microsofts games impressed me a little more. Beckoned me closer toward them with a teasing finger. 

I closed my browser window cutting my choppy feed, warmed throughout my bones from that unique feel that literally only comes round once a decade. I wanted that taste, almost craved it as we approached the end of this generation of gaming. That flavor; knowing we have arrived. It's good, people. Finally. Next gen. I got that mostly with Microsoft.

I can only describe my feelings as I watched these new gaming experiences unfurl before me, as a warm flutter located somewhere within the stomach area, the next gen of console gaming had arrived. It happened to be in the form of a frilly Roman skirt wearing gladiator shouty guy, but nonetheless, we were here. Ryse was my epiphany. Damn. It looked CG, finally, the games we get our hands on to play, will look fully CG. Ryse was that arrival for me into the next generation. As website bit-tech wrote "It’s difficult to tell if much of the demo is indicative of real content as the scene transitions seemed almost too smooth" It was in game, and it was happening homies...

I was yet to really feel this clout as a console gamer, even the super cool and blue, Playstation 4 reveal in February didn't knock me sidewards when it come to receiving that sweet sugary hit of next gen gaming. Seeing these next gen titles is best described when attempting to encapsulate a new console arrival, back in the croaky old 8 or 16 Bit era. When the graphical leaps happened back then, they were astronomical. The closer we flew forward to the present the advancements visually slowed down, squeezed tighter and smaller as they hit the bottleneck; almost coming to some kind of halt in the later generation, save a few shiny reflections here, a bumpy texture or two there. Plus of course, the 3D jump.

This view I'm about to express is not popular right now. My youtube subscribers who I am honored to have, in their vast majority disagree with me, loudly, and extremely vocally! Often making me cry real gaming tears, that shimmer green as they fall, but I respect their views fully as gamers. However it has to be said, I personally believe games wise Microsoft brought the heat June 10th 

Expressing this in public can stoke passions, heating up hearts with the volcanic ferocity of the most vile hate crime. The better more captivating conference from the standpoint of games, in my opinion was Microsoft. I expressed this excitement in a video here recorded immediately after the conference, as you can see, few agreed. One legendary response was "you fu**ing love anything with games" as if this was a crime... Us gamers can say some strange and fu**ed up things lol.

Microsoft had the exclusives on lock at this show, this cannot be up for debate, it's an actual physical statistical fact. Dead Rising 3 another impressive title, still having the character design and feel of the Dead Rising games of old yet sporting a very impressive new lick of paint, the textures, lighting etc looking really nice. It just looked like the next natural evolution of our console game visuals and that's all we asked for. Well that and no used game restrictions; Kinect requirement, and no high price. Also, that online check in thing. You can keep that too fu**ing Microsoft fu*k!!!

To me the main issue here is the used games. Those of you who are subscribers to my gaming channel know I regularly do pick up videos. Many of these super bargains are mass collected titles, it's not going to be financially possible for me to get every Xbox One game that's released as they are dropped, I own several consoles. All these little plastic babies are squealing for the milky goodness of a new game now and then. 

As the months pass knowing I can never look back and pick up a bargain Xbox One game at a store or online etc without paying a fee above what I usually would for used games, or even something as simple as borrowing or "lending" a game from my mate, as we say in the estates. I won't be able to do that on the Xbox One. That's the kick for me. No used game freedom is a big part of my decision not to purchase it on launch. Perhaps after when things change, I go into detail on this in a bit.

Gaming is a luxury, not a necessity if, if we are being honest. If you can afford a big ass Xbox One, is it really such a stretch to expect you own a half decent Internet connection? I can duck the bullets flying and peep above the warring to see both sides. You would not expect the poorest parts of the world with no Internet to even think of owning a games console, let alone one that requires a 24 hour online check in, so I can't say I'm buying that particular scenario.

There are however many circumstances where the gamer could be cut off, soldiers enjoying some gaming down time abroad, workers at sea? Who ever said Aliens who are orbiting in space won't be able to use Xbox One either, leave the room now, this is serious.

Sometimes I have lost my own Internet connection but if I'm honest this has been for a short while for probably a few hours, and while I'm waiting for it, I log on using either my actual brain, which has evolved naturally into a Wifi modem of sorts due to prolonged Internet exposure. Failing that I would use my super phone from the year 2138. Basically most of us are always connected. I'm sure it seemed acceptable to the heads at microsoft Guffawing atop their gold thrones at the time, they are so disconnected from us it seems they could not have foreseen how actually pissed the masses would be. Their naivety is both funny and deeply tragic at the same time.

So back to the conference, Ryse, Dead Rising 3 and some more very nice looking titles, this trend of dope ass games continued with Forza 5 which almost has to look stunning, anything less would be close to blasphemy for that series, and of course for a next gen driving game. If you are a driving game on any of the new consoles and you don't look like you're getting close to photo realistic visuals, that in itself insults my very core and is actually wholly unacceptable. Unless you're a kart game. Forza 5 looked the part, sexy and curvy, yet no fat. Like Scarlett Johansson

Then there was the sheer stomping beauty. Nervy woozy emotion that only a brand new, next gen IP can bring you. I wept tears of joy. I stood up, fists raised in victory and cried aloud "Titanfall" I have hired a band of wily bearded scavengers to round up dissenters who were not impressed with this game, throw them into the back of a caged truck then systematically brutalise each one until they love Titanfall as if it was their own first born. If you don't think this game looks cool, perhaps you need it BEATEN into you is my point here.

This game looked as epic as I'd hoped, a Microsoft only release. Created by core members from the Call Of Duty team who formed a new studio. Big mechs; big guns; super powered human suits; explosions and military shouting. We live for this. A beautiful ending to a sweet show of games. This blog isn't listing the full line up of games, there's thousands of articles online detailing every single game, like this one.

Did I also mention the return of Master Chief? Oh yea, that too...

So with that, we have a fascinating insight into the mindset of the modern emo gamer. Even a conference with a less impressive line up of games, can still win resoundingly as long as you demonstrate that you can connect with gamers on a certain level; show us you've listened, and we will come.

The look of child like glee on Jack Trettons face when he revealed how free and open the used games policies would be seemed to almost genuinely surprise him. However as the days pass there's still debate on what he actually really means, here's my video on this.

The games Sony showed were really good, Final Fantasy was awesome. However the conference lacked the wow factor you get from seeing a new IP revealed. The other gameplay footage Watchdogs and Assassins creed had some of the sharp edge rubbed off because we had been looking at these games in some form or another for the past few months. Most of the Xbox One exclusives were brand new, and unseen to many.

Are people being unfair to the Xbox One conference itself? strip the rest away and just focus your eyeballs on the actual conference. Think about it, we wanted to see the games and they brought them. Alongside more exclusives than Sony. Is the greed, restrictive unfriendly practices and taking away our ownership of these games enough to make you harsh ass gamers drop Microsoft in the pungent green swill to rot. Even if the games look actually fu**ing excellent? It would initially seem so. 

The better conference overall was Sony, because they spoke to the gamers, which is always going to be a good thing for a gaming company to do. They said what we wanted to hear, they made it all free and open, and they dropped it like it was hot up in this bitch, so to speak. They landed the, what I like to refer to as the e3 hit combo. No used game restrictions, no online, and a excellent price of 349 in the UK. Dizzying.

The Xbox One line up of games seemingly got ignored by even the hardcore gamers simply because you pissed them off Microsoft. All that money spent on these IP's and overall it still wasn't enough at this early stage. You take away our rights to own games, it would seem you take away any love or gratitude. No matter how good the titles are. Ironic, gamers themselves would not care for the actual games.

The vast majority of the gamers complaining about Internet check in requirements are posting their thoughts from an actual high speed fibre optic Internet connection. It always effects someone else, but not actually them. I will concede though, Kinect requirement; the sheer cheek of the used games restrictions and the overall feeling that Microsoft don't really care for gamers (as much as a multi million dollar corporation can care) is too much, even for me. A fan of the Xbox and Xbox 360.

I personally feel the blows by Sony were too well delivered, deep into the meat of the kidneys and too brutal and concussive. The conference itself by Sony was average, but it was the e3 hit combo that ended the last round and Microsoft couldn't regain consciousness. For the sake of gaming and competition, I hope they learn from this and get to their feet, a little groggy; vision cloudy but eventually clearing. As a gamer, a gamer regardless of system I hope Microsoft beat the count and return in the rematch (november launch) fighting.

I currently have no plans to purchase an Xbox One, the Playstation 4 is something I have always wanted, I have been Xbox for around twelve years and my reasons were as simple as wanting a change, new franchises I would only see on the other side, I wanted to be involved in these. I detail this thought process in my blog here. I haven't dismissed the idea of going green again one day. It could still happen...

Let me be the first to say it here, Microsoft will make some major changes to their policies, probably re thinking the whole used game fu*k up completely. I still see some massive micheal jackson style moonwalking happening from this corporation as they backtrack on a lot of these dumb as restrictions, too much money is at stake. Remember where you read it.

Once they apoligise and say sorry, I may be joining the rest of the titan fall players into 2014. But until then, of course, I will see you in the Killzone. ;)

© Wingy 2013

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[wingygaming]

Sony, I'm coming home. The Playstation 4

I've recently spent so much damn time busting precious limited blood vessels, defending the quivering Xbox One from backlash. Shielding the big black lump from the bile sprayed from hissing Lizard tongued ranting gamers. Protecting the machines honor as if it were a chaste and fair lady, and I’m doing this for reasons that can only be explained as actual crackpot insanity.

Consuming my energies with this venture of justice; a brave stance against persecution. So much time wasted attempting to extract the good juice from arguably the most disappointing and also at the same time bizarre reveal of a console possibly ever. It seems that I almost forgot, for the first time in over ten years, I will finally get to own a new console brand. Tis exciting.

My pre order is ready, that motherfker is slapped down. Like, what I’m sure it wouldn't be unfair to suggest, the majority of gamers, I’m getting a Playstation 4. However the Xboxer that still has a sole candle lit within me emitting dying shadows, has still been defending the Xbox One and with that, I seem to have forgot about the other baby due to arrive in my household soon. My pre ordered, launch day reserved, Playstation 4.

I’ve always felt like the fat boy left outside, while the pumping beats pulsating from within the sexy Playstation owners party, were thumping away behind exclusive entry only closed doors. Some harlot in stockings stumbling through the front to the outside world, mascara tears streaking down her face but none the less she’s laughing. Behind her a literal orge of drugs, shagging and slim cool people.

I haven’t owned a Playstation since the first one, so that party scenario to me is what owning a Playstation 2 & 3 has always seemed like, that elusiveness. The rave I never was allowed in to. Being involved in that slightly more cool, less mooby and nerd linger ish clique, I wonder what it feels like. (That’s what she..) There is just something about us Xboxers let’s be fair, we seem to be a bit nerdy. Not the cool nerdy you people faking on youtube channel, the uncool nerdy. Which is fine...

“Who gives a damn sh*t how cool you feel or look if you’re a gamer!!”

Very true you hollering brute at the back, i agree. However I still felt left out of a gaming clique, I wanted in. I think it was the big assed thick heavy nature of the first console. That enormous near circular fully functioning UFO which served as a joy pad for actual giants. All these original Xbox size issues contributed to the overall image of Xboxers. Like a lady with embarrassingly humongous feet, there was something slightly awkward about the size of the thing.

As a Gamer image means Zero in the grand scheme of things, but regardless, what true console fiend can call themselves such, if they never experienced Playstation 2 or 3? I almost feel embarrassed about this as a gamer. I have come to you the reader to confess and at the same time, heal from this burning shame. It’s going to be fun to instantly boost my sex appeal by purchasing a bad ass new Playstation 4, on LAUNCH day. Settle down ladies....you love it ;)

If you are a long time Playstation owner, this article is probably near alien talk to you. You have never had to be the second place console boy; no playing catch up. You've never had to read through magazine articles that sheepishly proclaim that the Xbox or even Xbox 360 is “almost” as powerful as the Playstation 2 or 3. Never have you had to cringe to the point of tears when reading an Xbox magazine article or online blog stating “even though the PS3 is more powerful, power doesn't matter” Dear Lord above….

I have no desire to be second best again, gaming must come first not loyalty. For the third console generation in a row I have no wish to again own the one that’s not quite as good. Perhaps I have underlying issues; as i write and read this, my turmoil seems deeper than gaming lol. Of course the ultimate gamer would eventually own both Machines, this is still not out of the question for me. All I know for sure is that I’m hitting the ground running with a Playstation 4

Lighting a smooth Cigar and drifting away within a swirling cloudy haze of memories, thinking back to March 14th, 2002. The release of the Xbox. The first one. This is where my journey began upon the Microsoft path. I side stepped the Playstation 2 and Playstation 3. Having only acquired a 1st generation PS3 recently, a big snarling beast that intimidates the other consoles in my room. I often see punch marks and bruises on my other nervous and scared consoles beside it as I return after leaving the room.

My Xbox and Xbox360 have given me some of my most treasured memories of video gaming full stop. Forza series; Dead or Alive 4; the original Saints Row! The Halo series and a bevvy of actual beauties on disc. Fable of course! Gears of War; Crackdown series. Among hundreds of other exclusives. But I always felt that as a dedicated die hard gamer, I was missing a meaty slice of modern gaming; a certain culture of gaming I was always going to remain curious about. Peeking over the fence at what the Playstation kids were doing.

The God of War; Infamous and superb Killzone series. (A series having only recently played I can without doubt say as an Xboxer this easily stands alongside Halo. Perhaps surpassing it for sheer atmosphere) The Metal Gear Solids and even though the game flirts now and then with Xbox it’s quite clearly more at home with Sony. The uncharted series, the beautiful Little Big planet, The epic Gran Turismo games and more. I was missing out on so much. As a gamer, this has been a vacant chasm within me that has never been filled, woman nor liquor would satisfy the need. I want to drink the sweet Playstation milk and feel full and sated.

So only long time Xboxers who are amongst a new mass exodus walking in unison enchanted toward the blue PS4 light will be able to appreciate this new fresh feeling. One that is akin to being somewhat of a lost soul in rags, who perhaps, just maybe has been on the wrong spiritual path and is being welcomed back by a white robed heavenly figure with open arms. The Playstation God.

While I may or may not get a Xbox One I’m still a Xbox fanboy to some degree, so part of me feels a little sadness knowing I am in effect saying goodbye to the Xbox after two generations of purchasing. As much as I implore Microsoft to show me some real deal breaking titles, to rectify the  almost shockingly bad decisions they seem to have made. I'm still going Playstation 4.

There's a gentle sway of uneasiness within my stomach juices as I contemplate my switch, after riding with the Xbox since day one. However I can, for the first time since the original Playstation, tell Sony that I’m coming home. I can tell them that I’m coming home, and I've missed them so much.

© Wingy 2013

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[wingygaming]

This Dead Island Riptide Censorship issue kills creativity

I'm glad they were offended by it, this is what some of the most inspiring pieces of art aspire to do. Create reaction within us, simmer passions within our veins. For if it wasn't for these whimpering puppy like cries of offense. I in all likelihood wouldn't have ever had the good fortune to bless the jelly within my eyeballs with the most moving piece of short CG film I can remember having the pleasure of watching, in a long time. So Kudos to Techland. 

This article isn't about the game. It's about us as adult grown ass gamers encouraging more creative and moving pieces of work within the titles we play; in much the same vein as the advert that has caused all of this hoopla.

Groaning zombified humans surround an adult couple. There is no way out for these two unfortunate victims of circumstance. The two lovers decide to end their existence upon this mortal coil. They choose to avoid having the displeasure of watching and feeling meat being savagely eaten from their actual bones, torn off of them while they are still living. So they opt for blowing themselves up. (in turn exploding the soulless beasts trying to devour them too) This advert may be somewhat basic and simple in its premise, but this simplicity is an integral part of the adverts f***ing deep and touching beauty. 

It's nice to be brutally yanked out of your safe marshmallow like world for a while, with a sobering jolt and feel the impact of a real situation before you, like a blow to the ribs; to become the actors on screen. This is ultimately why we play games, watch films. Feeling a little conflict emotionally, ignites something. For me it does anyhow, perhaps you are not as cool and arty as I. 

Without doubt part of this adverts immediate impact was because I was expecting to see a crappy frustratingly over rated trailer for a zombie game when I clicked the Youtube link. However I was to find myself a present and silent witness to a moment of profound hopelessness and love. It was some moving ass CG video my gangsters. 

This kind of controversy has to be born forth for developers to take risks. These risks give birth to innovation; the very same kind of blind leaps into the unknown are what will further solidify our art form of gaming as just that. Art.

I felt the suffocation when those soft fleshy zombie hands were banging against the windows, their silhouettes enhanced by the beaming flame of the setting sun behind them. Did you not feel something? Do you have a heart within your rib cage of ice Sir/Madam? All that separated those blood thirsty moaning demons from the soft sweet young flesh of the terrified but brave couple, was the thin damaged glass of the wrecked yacht. They were surrounded, totally swarmed.

The salty twang of the couples essence, their powerful blood scent undetectable by us, was like the most delicious heroin hit waiting around the corner to these half dead monsters. Irresistible. They climbed the wreckage to reach the frightened pair inside. The Zombies resembling ants transforming sticky dropped food into a black moving mass. 

The situation was utterly hopeless. The couple were going to die, by live cannibalism. What would you have them do Australian advertising board? Perhaps a little jolly jig? Zombies bitin' ya face. Would you like to experience that death? Not too keen on the idea personally. Perhaps i wouldn't have actually set myself alight to avoid it but let's put their situation into some kind of context people; let's be fair about this. 

So the crusty old Australian board of croaky duffers barfed out this old chestnut:

"...the use of images which are strongly suggestive of suicide is not appropriate in the context of a television advertisement for a computer game."

There was no perverse indulging into an emotional teenagers social struggles, which has in turn led to a tragic erasing of their own being. We did not see a meaningless overly graphic depiction of a slow deep wrist slice upon a verbally and physically abused pale faced goths arm. 

The couple were committing suicide because their faces; noses and eyeballs were about to be eaten off by heartless human meat obsessed zombies. Those very same zombies would repeatedly attempt to crack through the then dead carcasses skulls to scoop and suck the brainy goodness out like fresh Canadian water Oysters. Forgive the couple for wanting to end things quickly, please. 

I want to see more heavier CG scenes like this beautiful piece that has struck hearts, be it for an advert or to add a refreshing slice of in game reality to proceedings, either or. I want to think "f**k, that was some FU**ING deep shiz man". I understand the Australian board were not specifically targeting the nature of advert as such? more the fact it was showing "as an advert" deep down, regardless I think the temperature was too prickly hot in that little zombie kitchen for them. Whenever it was shown, in whatever form, I suspect they would have had a weep about it. Video game-ism. Although this isn't happening in my country this sort of thing pops up now and then to threaten to suffocate gaming creativity. We are seeing it in America, and we will see it when other games such as Grand Theft Auto 5 are released.

We are adults and despite claims of the game itself not quite living up to the moody cinematics of the advert, a claim itself open for debate. It's still a step in the right creative direction for adults sane of mind to enjoy scenes like the couples suicide of fire.

So more blood encrusted CG emotional stuff I say. Extra juicy bright red flesh and more tears and characters crying with fear please. I can handle it, most of us can deal with it. So may we be permitted to swim beneath the claret, and indulge in our video gaming passion without the ever looming fear of censorship.

Less controversy over scenes such as this and much more artistic freedom will inspire an era of creativity we can already see with titles such as the Last of us. Don't stifle the rifles Techland. More of the same my homies...we are grown ups last time I checked.

Good job. *raises glass of blood*

The Dead Island Riptide Advert

© Wingy 2013

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[wingygaming]

It's ok to like the Xbox One

It seems the Youtube and online Gaming Community have reached melting point on the rage-o-meter. Who can out-angry the next! "I'm more angry about the Xbox One than you are!!! Look at my rage!" These types have emerged from the depths like grumbling Locust Horde and those of you a little more inviting to the subtle but definite influence of peer pressure may be about to yield to them altogether you spineless lice! Let me tell you this, it's ok to like the Xbox One. Really, it's fine to do so. You can come out now, no one is going to beat you up or throw rocks at your head. If you like the Xbox One, then say so, If you actually genuinely think it looks good then scream it from the rooftops. Let no aggressive you tubers or article writers including me, influence you otherwise.

Initially my heart sank a little, when the green Xbox logo appeared on my screen via choppy stream, signaling the end of the reveal, the console "war" had begun and I have to admit Inside I wanted more blood. My vision washed over with a shade of watery grey for the next few hours, mild depression slipped to dank mourning. From there the tears decided to fall, then acceptance. It's here, this is the machine, and boy it's thick! These were my first thoughts, Xbox One got ass tho...damn girl.

Then after the initial console perving was completed, I realised ok, this is it; there's no going back; accept this is how it's going to be Dan. Then i reached my final stage on this emotional free fall; revelation. As in hold up, this sh*t could actually be good...

So now within the aftermath madness of Xbox One reveal reviews I step forth from the smoke and chaos battered and bruised, clutching a gun, much like Mad Max, except fat and not racist. I've changed my thoughts; i have found a little hope. Warmed by some beams of green light splitting the blue clouds above. I think the Xbox One could potentially deliver that delicious Knock Out blow to the temple at the E3 in June. I reckon this massive hoe has more to flash in our direction, a lot more.

This is one of the only reasons I can think of as to why multi billion dollar Microsoft almost purposely alienated Gamers at the Xbox One reveal. What a stupid fu**ing thing to do. They were almost coyly shying away at the thought of the Xbox One as a gaming console at all. I myself agree with the ranting onliners, this reveal was near offensive to true Gamers. The word Gaming seemed a little unclean to MS; slightly dirty and a little foreign or unusual to them. I discuss my thoughts on the reveal here, in detail. This isn't about the reveal though, more the over-reaction to it.

The fully justified and perfectly acceptable collective sigh toward lack of games shown, has coalesced into full scale aggressive anger! I'm seeing screaming, genuine upset with even mouth foamingly violent intentions bubbling beneath. The anger toward the Xbox One has become almost Parody, so I question how much of this is genuine and how much of it is performance. Blind bleating sheep waiting to see what everyone else is saying, before they say anything; scared to form an opinion of their own.

As I said in my video regarding the Xbox One reveal I literally watched the thing, then recorded my views; I had no idea what anyone thought about the console at the time of my recording. This is typically how I do most of my youtube stuff regarding big announcements or reviews. The end result was a Gamer disappointed with the Xbox One, who ended the video eventually, on a high note of hope.

It is however interesting to sit and study intently under the microscope and watch the phenomena of people almost experiencing a perverse buzz from slating this console. Some seem angry on camera toward the Xbox One, even if in reality, they are not that mad at all, and sit between indifferent and slightly disappointed, which is more I believe an accurate representation of views.

Most of the reaction to the Xbox One regarding You tubers, presents squealing images of angry Chimpanzees screaming, baring fangs throwing Bananas across cages. Real frenzied high pitched shrieking that has taken over my subscription feed like a flood. This humble but talented Gaming vlogger here seems to be the only voice of actual reason within the hullabaloo. For even me myself reacted in somewhat of a perhaps overly emotional manner, partly because that's the way I rock :) but also because I was genuinely a little upset with MS. I then reminded myself they are a business, they are attempting to appeal to a broader audience. They are attempting to make the most money. Most importantly, I have the choice! If i don't like, I don't get! Why bust a flipping gasket over it.

As it stands now, I'm excited again to see what's coming as no one can deny the 360 was a beast of a gaming machine... why are we expecting the Xbox One to be worse? Makes no frickin sense ya fools.

We are still essentially gamers are we not? our medium is fun. Entertainment and enjoyment. This is what Gaming is about. Literally, it is entertainment, this means happiness, good times. The pack element of pitchfork waving hate toward the Xbox One barely a few days since its reveal has started to leave a sour taste. I've unsubscribed to many channels on the back of their extreme and over the top explosions of disapproval, because these reactions for the most part scream at me, "I want to be like everyone else"

My own thoughts and feelings toward Xbox One have gone through various stages of gestation and evolved, even in the short space of a few days. If there are enough decent exclusive titles, I'm sure I will probably pick one up myself. Simply because I'm a gamer and I love games. The sacrilege performed by myself, that is... enjoying games with a smile, would probably cause these very same mentalists busting nuts over the Xbox One to actually die on the spot. "He's enjoying himself?? Isn't he meant to be ranting? To the shotgun shed!!"

The explanation for this over reaction online toward Xbox One I think is quite simply as I stated at the start, good old fashioned peer pressure, people are scared of their own skin; they feel way too naked being themselves. In my very short time in the Youtube gaming community I notice many of the larger channels can dictate the thinking of the smaller channels below them. A trickle down effect. The reason for this is most channels would like more subs, myself included. It's validation of your work and a nice feeling, however for me it stops there. More subs at the expense of fitting in with everyone else is a thought for me personally that doesn't bare thinking about.

For others, particularly some of the xbox ragers, they will switch and turn with the popular thought pattern in an attempt to attract more viewers and in turn more cash. Nothing wrong with this at all. I'm merely attempting to explain a section of the gaming community's reaction to what is in all reality an exciting next gen console with awesome potential. 

My message to this crowd would be this...gaming can still be about fun, there's no shame in getting excited and enjoying gaming. I think the Xbox One reaction has opened my eyes to this. Some of these people can be a real buzz kill. Fuckin up a brothers high. Hence my immediate unsubbing. Genuine and real discontent regarding the Xbox One I can relate to and watch with captivated interest, fake rage toward the console because it seems cool to copy everyone else is lame.

The various reasons and opinions about the console itself are not really for this blog. My shizzle here is not about the console, it's about the all encompassing, damn near depressing pessimism! It's cool to be angry and about gaming if it's genuine. A select few were genuine about Xbox One, I even thought my reaction was in line with some of the more red faced freak outs I've been watching on you tube. However some people have really lost the spirit of fuc*ing wonder gaming is meant to encapsulate and more importantly some of these miserable ass motherf***ers have lost the hope.

I think we may see some games at the E3 that potentially make many of these aggressive types retreat back into their shells and end up with copious amounts of egg on their face. Until then I'm going to stick with my new change of opinion and believe again, hoping Microsoft will end up making us all look a little stupid. 

© Wingy 2013

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[wingygaming]

An open letter to PC Gamers

It's still as i write this a good six or so months away, somewhere in that far off red wavy horizon, but I feel that unmistakable tingle buzzing inside my stomach. The butterflies; pure excitement. It's the feeling only passionate, possibly on the verge of being obsessive console gamers can truly grasp with both fat fists and genuinely relate to. Akin to studying the full delicious form for the first time, of a maiden you have just conquered, dragged to your lair from club "Flex" and those final moments that lead up to the delicate impregnation ritual. This is what a new console reveal is like. 

Your mind, from behind an obscuring pink cloud of curiosity forms an uncertain image of her breasts. Their full yet light dimensions through her top your only clue. You wonder how they will feel cupped in your hands once revealed. The shape of her buttocks in jeans, a tease; what will she really look like once you derobe your queen. Once she is yours as nature dictated. This is the anticipation for next gen console gaming; launch night. A truly special moment. Curiosity, excitement. A new day. For weird cun*ts like me, perhaps a next gen release night is, beneath the sheets kind of sexual. 

I already have a gaming hard on for the Playstation 4 and upcoming Xbox, and it's a unique arousal only console gamers can recognise the tingly warmth of. It's a global mouth watering anticipation. An actual life changing moment in a sense. These babies will be alongside us as plastic companions for most of the next ten years of our existence. As we produce seeds to carry on our name; as they grow into upstanding adults; as friendships form; relationships end; loved ones pass on. Your next console could potentially be here through all of these significant moments in your life silently sitting, waiting to be doted upon. 

You don't whip out some rusty scalpel and carve away at its most delicate internal organs like some kind of sick perverted f**king Dr Frankenstein. Shoving an old lung in here and an eyeball in there after six months to "make it look shinier" You accept it for what it is, and you declare a silent but heartfelt appreciation knowing, how after everything, it will remain steadfast, as the one constant in your life, for possibly the next decade of your walking days upon earth. This is the new Console, and the feelings it evokes PC Gamer. 

You may deride our enthusiasm PC Gamer, but there were many snapshots of beauty at the PS4 reveal. Mine wasn't even the incredibly impressive, intricately detailed old man mugshot. Tired hanging skin, that held behind haggard worn features a lifetime of soul sapping torment. Nope, for me, it was the bang bang guns the Kill zone 4 video. That was my sh*t my homey. 

The twisting knot of excitement somewhere deep within my organs around my belly area was wrenched hard, around 7 minutes 20 seconds in to this video. The mechanical insect like black ship rises over the building edge aiming a laser, to be joined by two more of its crew. The first ship looked cold; menacing; reflecting light with such an elegance and profound industrial beauty, for a brief moment it actually looked as real as that old man. When I witnesses that ship and the camera zoomed out. There was a genuine recognition within me. It was as if I could feel the solid dense weight of that moment of realisation itself in one video. That leap from current to next. The new generation of console gaming, had arrived. 

Mr or mrs PC Gamer. Your gaming at its highest level is obviously going to surpass console gaming. PC gaming can be cheaper, provide much better visuals than even the consoles that aren't released yet. It's just the way to go if you want the most powerful system. I have always flirted with the idea of getting a gaming PC. However throughout all of my Gaming life, I've never made that step despite as I say in my video here, having the funds. The idea of PC Gaming personally, has never appealed. Ideally a PS4 a new Xbox and a PC would be sweet. However not essential, for me. Not everyone feels they need a PC for gaming, believe it or not!

I always figure consoles give me more bang for my buck, considering the cost of keeping my PC at the cutting edge visually for gaming (which is the only reason why I would purchase the purring beast - to be the most powerful) Upgrading my components twice a year to keep everything at its absolute possible peak, super model smooth and shiny has never appealed. My budget is controlled, plus the main reason for me is I am 100% happy with console gaming. I am certain, PC gamer, you find this hard to digest. I don't really want a gaming PC! I'm happy with consoles! Actually cool yo! 

I have recently dusted off the marvelous Gears of War 2 again. This came out three or so years ago on xbox. To me the visuals are still very slick and impressive, providing a fully immersive  experience I can get lost in. I'm still impressed with Xbox and PS3 visuals seven or so years on! Best way for me to describe it, is someone who has a decent adequate car that looks nice. It's for getting around in and does the job perfectly. May not be a top of the range sports car but they are happy with it and enjoy it. For me, that's console gaming. 

Why do some of you PC gamers intoxicated with power even bother trying to passionately promote your machine, faces bursting red like pomegranates with anger when really, you  shouldn't have to. My personal view is you feel possibly frustration. With a smidgen of insecurity, and bizarrely enough, jealousy! Let me explain. Imagine spending thousands of pounds on the fastest most powerful PC gaming system only to feel like the inferior gamer to the masses, when you really aren't. The cheek of it! This is the salt crushed into the wound of you PC gamers. It's that console gamers should care more, but they really don't. 

The hype; excitement; fanfare and fuss that surrounds a console launch happens on average perhaps a couple of times every ten years per console. People go nuts; queues are formed by the salivating masses, its a world wide humongous event. Perhaps understandably, you petals feel a little left out in the rain. The Heavy Rain ;) 

When some ol' internal memory bits or a better graphics card is launched to make the highest end PC roar even louder at the quivering consoles, the console community doesn't seem to be able to muster up half as much effort regards giving a sh*t as you PC Gamers do regards our consoles. We tend to be deep into our gaming, content and happy. Transported to desolate distant planets or apocalyptic end of the world scenarios using an optimised system with no fuss, no stems; no seeds. 

Console gamers are usually console gamers from the start of their gaming lives. Completely made up statistic that I'm confident has weight to it. The console is more than a "plastic shitty toaster" as one of you PC owning scoundrels besmirched my beloved Xbox 360. His head currently adorns a wooden pole on my front lawn. A friendly reminder to any other wandering night walkers who decide to come test. 

Console gaming is a cheap accessible way to get impressive visuals on your games and to be certain that for the next at the very least five or six years your machine will be rinsed tight as a wet dishcloth to get the very best out of it and still not in all honesty look too far off a high end PC in the case of some games. Consoles when you look at what they do, and the admirable way they try to keep up in the race with their little legs, are pretty impressive really. 

When console launch hullabaloo is going on and for the proceeding years afterwards, the PC, the most powerful gaming device is in a sense kind of a second thought when it comes to games. An uncool lanky big brother. It's this very fact that deep down inside, narks off you more militant PC lovers. So for the most part you descend like once mighty gods gripping a golden trident and proceed to roar at us the elitist testament. Sad thing is for the most part. Nobody cares. 

With the rumors of the next generation of consoles coming in at an even cheaper price point and for the first few years not being far off the highest end PC graphics wise, when it comes to the more popular cross platform games (which will generally be dictated looks wise by console trends) I can see why you PC owners get a little salty when it's console launch time. With the launch of the PS4 and the new Xbox the commotion will boil over to even more of an epic volcanic like proportion. 

Two different worlds for two different types of people. Console gamers are happy. They get on with gaming as opposed to, like some of you PC gamers, stomping around the internet like grey haired elder trolls babbling on within range of any tired ears who will listen, how powerful your magic is. 

Back in the days of the mega drive and snes us console owners never had to go through this pain and bullying from the elitists, once the internet flourished the bullying spread like the most virulent crippling disease. Console owner it is time to take a stand.

Mr or Mrs PC owner, the new consoles are coming, and as inferior as they may be to your high end system every one and their mother will be playing, enjoying smiling and loving them. Don't let happiness warp you, sit back and enjoy the ride. Better still. Join us :) 

Have a read of this fascinating article on Eurogamer regarding the gap between high end PC's and the next generation of consoles shrinking rapidly. Then chill out, and say hi to me in the queue for a PS4 ;)

© Wingy 2013

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[wingygaming]

Injustice frightens old beat-em-up vets

Or perhaps more correctly, it just frightens me...

My actual crumbling mortality itself, in some kind of doddering gaming form, proceeded to uppercut punch me to the heavens. Then as I fell screaming, this embodiment of my shite ness in the form of computer AI on "Normal" kept me afloat as it juggled my black ass in an 8 hit combo, all before my dry shriveled brain, sitting in a liquid less dusty cave of a skull even registered what had happened. The rapid speed button and thumb gymnastics required to weave each move seamlessly together, seemed jerkingly awkward; I realise I am failing. At life. At beat-em-ups. 

This is Injustice Gods Among Us. New super hero fighter from Nether realm studios loosely Draped over the Mortal Kombat 2011 engine. I'm having issues; I'm getting old frustrated and scared. I took a few years out of my beat em ups. Dead or Alive 5 in all honesty, I got it for the boobs; the mammaries. I haven't played it much outside of the first month of purchasing it. I thought having a solid Street Fighter base to always fall back on as a fighter would be enough, I was wrong.

My favourite genre of games? Fighting, naturally. Violence; damage; women represented in the most sexist fashion that's possible and carnage. What's not for a man to like?? the only thing fighting games miss is in some way, not being a red meat product. Outside of that though? faces being snapped beneath fists, bones broken and ridiculous interpretations of otherwise, mostly slightly dull human martial arts? Brilliant, this is why I am a beat-em-up fan for lizzife.

When Sega launched the six button pad for the biggest event in gaming (in my eyes) twenty or so years ago: Street Fighter II Champion edition, I cried a little. Since this release back then, I have been a serious dour faced fan of fighting games, or beat-em-ups as we called em back in the day. Today the kids call them, tickle-em-ups or we-are-lame-em ups. Go home kids. Us old fu**ers used to rule at this shit. Hello?... is anyone, hello? Are you still there? My sight, it's...

Street fighter is my mini obsession. I collected the comics; the games; some figures. My passion for it is not perhaps alongside the most sweatiest fans doll collecting; moob exposing; tight costume wearing love for the series, it's not far behind them though. This love of Street Fighter II and all things Beat-Em-Uppy was formed within the midst of the fall out cloud from the fighting game explosion. Art of Fighting, Killer Instinct etc etc, King of Fighters; Fatal Fury; Samurai Showdown; Tekken; Virtua Fighter; Dead or Alive. All of them!! Mortal Kombaaaaat!!! *screamed in that god Awful super nineties techno song voice* Our eyes darted left to right, towards the top of the screen and the bottom. Anything to dance around the embarrassingly obvious fact Mortal Kombat was a bit sh*t. "It has loads of ketchup like blood and death moves therefore, it is cool as fu*k you lame!" We would scream, in all truthfulness, being the lames ourselves.

Every fighting game that's been released I've probably played or have some kind of basic knowledge about. Over twenty years of fight game experience. The fireball and Dragon punch motion I will never forget as long as I live. I am quite tragically very proud of this fact. I know some video game moves man. The detailed animation that brings to life Mai's bowling ball titties from Fatal Fury and King Of Fighters will never leave my mental. I lived fighting game culture. Sadly, this is fighting game culture of a certain time and era. I miss being good. 

To fall so embarrassingly hard from grace shuffling with slow snail paced miserly steps towards my mid thirties, and accepting I'm now shit at fighting games hurts a little. My dying words to you older Gamers who think leaping in with a heavy kick, low light kick and dragon punch motion is going to cut it, in every fighting game you play, you need to let that shit go homeys. Fuck we can't just jump in no more getting our light hit poke on. There's too many loud explosions, projectiles and fireworks going off in beat-em-ups theses days. I don't like it :(

Please please please practice your craft with the new titles. Every day if you can, or at least once a week for gods sake man. There's no substitute for online gaming, so go on and get your ass kicked you old fart, as Microsoft would scream at you from behind steamy spectacles "deal with it you c*nt!!!" 

The first round of a new fighter online is as standard accompanied with a ferocious rattle as my moist hands usually tremble nervously at near convulsion like levels, while attempting to grip the sweaty joypad. My painful shame of being juggled from literally the beginning of the round, until the energy bar has depleted, would resonate with that of an elderly male who has the most lucid and healthiest of minds, but cannot control his own piss. It's a little how I feel getting beaten from pillar to fucking post by a fourteen year old online. The inevitable message that pops up in your xbox live or PSN inbox afterwards "dude why did you keep doing the same move over and over. You fu**ING suck" or perhaps simply the less creative but indubitably just as cutting "fag" For it would seem I got "pwned" without knowing what pwned really means, and if the P is actually pronounced?! Why not just say owned. Same as Woot. We Own Other Team? Do their parents know their English and grammar is this shocking?

I've slowly bit by bit over time chipped away upon and erased the regular muscle memory patterns required for whipping out combos I used to possess. They were once deeply burned into my brains grey matter. What used to flow from my hands naturally with the graceful flourish of a Picasso brush stroke, now feels like writing an essay blindfolded with my left hand (I'm right handed man sh*t I gotta explain everything?) Why are the combos in Injustice purposely designed to be so hard to pull off? Rather strange. Oh, they were designed the opposite way you say, to be actually easier. Hmmmm let me see....*fails at combo again*

It is a sobering reminder that a student must always no matter what, practice his martial art. Which is what beat-em-up gaming is. Perhaps the most noble fighting art of all. I have many teary eyed nights ahead, struggling to maintain pace with the frantic; super-fast; hectic quite frankly upsetting pace of Injustice characters flying all over the screen like absolute mentalists. What happened to the treacle slow Street fighter II crawl as the heavy hits connected, that Double Dragon, literally double dragging at dying turtle speed frame rate. Hell probably any fighter to come is now going to feel ridiculously sped up, as the game designers get younger cooler more "hipster" and my brain gets older and increasingly more lame. 

Sitting within the tedious "training" section of a fighter with the standard "grid" background as you fail at each combo over and over....and over, not enjoying the experience at all, realising you've been slowly crying tears throughout learning these strings of moves. No longer can a fighter be jumped into and us older fighters feel safe within, the kids are too good. The mechanics have changed, it's a scary looming world out there in beat em up land now. Suffocating and lonely for a former street fighter pro who skipped a few years of game time. As i used to tell my mentally and physically broken conquests as they were crushed beneath me, their soft bodies twitching, my salty sweat falling on their face in glorious slow mo "you gotta put in work bitch" 

Going online in injustice will perhaps be the most humbling actually un enjoyable gaming experience I will ever have in my life. Having purchased the game out of sheer Defiance; a personal challenge. However it marks my return as King of the Fighters.

Just remember one thing, as you beat and pummel the old man into the concrete, watching the numbers fly up next to the combo hits, as I slowly sink into a steaming; putrid; bubbling pit of actual shame. Remember I used to be one of the best. I used to be great. In some kind of twisted reversal, my legacy will live on in my crapness online. You will know I was from a certain time, a certain age. 

I was a street fighter.

© Wingy 2013

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[wingygaming]

My story in gaming from day one (featuring three mentions of tits)

                   In my head as I write and pluck the hazy memories from deep within the meat of my brain, I hear some kind of ragtime piano merrily singing and I picture the scene played out behind a sepia tinted slightly sped up film. Crackling and uneven. The reality, nothing like that. It was a while ago though, back in the very early eighties. Please walk with me brothers and sisters in gaming...

I would guess I was about five years old. Round my aunties house, sitting beside my mum as she waffled on about god only knows what with my aunt, on what seemed at the time my aunts cartoon sized roger rabbit extended stretched kitchen type enormous sofa. I remember scrambling off the cushion and wandering off desperate to engage the still working cogs in my little head. This was obviously way before tits and what not were anywhere close to my thoughts, so pretty much anything would fascinate me, even without a nipple attached to it.

Aha, I found something. The looming vast entrance to the Aztec temple. Golden steps, the top of which obscured by grey clouds illuminated with the bassy rumble of occasional thunder. Standing at the foot of the mountain peak I gazed upwards. The most monumental climb known to man, the fuzzy steps. Stairs! Somethings got to be going on up there, off I went...

I defeated the mountain, made it to the top and stood outside a waiting door. A grown ups door. My older cousin, miserable, a little intimidating. I was never thinking to actually enter, merely flirt with the danger of having a listen to what was going on, my ear pressed hard to the wood. 

It was from this moment, at the tender age of around six or so years, I heard it. The manic bleeping. The stabbing synth like sound. It sounded like actual fucking insanity. As soon as I gathered enough bravery within my chest to gingerly ease the door open for a better look. I entered the room. Stale farts and a mess of clothes and magazines with tits. This was a mans zone; I felt big.

I entered my older cousins room and my eyes were drawn to a strange looking box with a wooden front panel on the floor, and my cousin hunched over, controlling on the screen, with what looked like some kind of angular Yellow head with square edges like some kind of flat animated lego brick, that had been attempted to be constructed round in shape. As he moved his hand, the actual yellow pill guzzling drug addict on the screen avoided what looked like ghosts. This was all happening at the whim and wish of my cousin. Who had full control of this world. The box said Atari 2600 on it. My life changed; I became a gamer.

He acknowledged my presence with a simple nod towards the floor. Indicating the empty patch next to him on the carpet for me to sit down on and watch in silence. I didn't get told off. He knew this moment was going to be burned within my memories for ever; to take me from but a boy, to a spartan. Something new was happening. Video gaming. He knew this would be with me forever. Thirty something years on, as he silently prophesied, I recount it to you. This was Pac Man and this was when the beauty of gaming bared all to me for the first time. Her breasts pert and firm. (Several breast references in this article, simply because it has to be done)

After my Atari 2600. My old man insisted I get a "real computer", this came in the form of the legendarily crappy Spectrum 48k, which they coughed up for *stands up and salutes the memory of the rubber keys* Sitting patiently minutes upon minutes as the screen edges danced. Fucked up lines that looked like something was broken and the loading sound, that sound which no man; machine or being on earth could probably replicate in it's painful entirety. The spectrum loading screech. Everything was ok as long as it didn't flash the ominous two tones. If the lines were moving, all was good in the hood my playaz.

I would have been close to eight or so years old right now. Well, the thing busted, I can't remember exactly what I did but I stuck in it something I shouldn't have, the wrong adapter perhaps. Regardless I remember a metallic smell coming from the back which I later discovered was something inside burning. That sh*t was a wrap. I evolved, like the Borg if they actually evolve, if they do not, then not like them. An amoeba.

Next came the daddy, the Spectrum 128k and this was where my gaming really took off. Big time. I remember my first game being Donkey Kong, which I believe came with the computer. My first introduction to Mario. Back then I could never have fathomed how much of a rockstar that fat man would become; it was all about that monkey back then.

I had the largest collection of Spectrum games I think possible. Most of which should still i think actually be somewhere at my mothers, maturing like fine vintage wine. I cannot begin to explain the absolutely all encompassing fantasy world of gaming escapism I became lost in. My most consistent memory of that age, and my favorite games were the Dizzy collection. If you don't know Dizzy, please leave right now. Then accept the rocks and stones thrown at your back and head ripping chunks out of both as you go.

From here on in I was officially solidified as a quivering addict, desperate for more. Other boys were discovering porn magazines; girls; staying out late drinking in the street. I was in my room. Gaming, like...a lot! I saw a vagina far too late, within the pages of a porn magazine at one of my first jobs. Scared the life out of me. I blame gaming for this, same as I blame it for making me a rolling ball of actual dough.

My next machines were a Nes; Master System, Gameboy, Game Gear, Neo Geo (altho I didn't own it I had a swap period when the baby was mine for a good while), Jaguar (lol), Megadrive, where I had arguably my fondest memories of gaming. Street of Rage 2 still to this day perhaps being one of my all time favorite games, in no small part because of the ever present tease of full exposure to Blaze Feildings knickers....and boobs. So, the Snes, N64...

The crack cocaine like addiction continued, as did my isolation from girls and life throughout my teens, all thanks to games. I had my first girlfriend at 18. I blame the gaming for this. Sad. Mega CD, 32X, Saturn. Coming up to my twenties the game porn continued with the Dreamcast (I miss you dreamy) Playstation 1, Xbox, Xbox 360....which is where we are today. 

The Xbox 360 has to sit alongside the Megadrive as providing me with the purest gaming entertainment. Perhaps the Dreamy as well, although how much of these memories of Segas white knight are tinted a beautiful rose colour due to the epic Shenmue, I'm not too sure! And nights! That game was an acid trip on the tongue I would definitely pop again. He er, or she was awesome.

You may have noticed I missed out the Playstation 2 and 3. I know, I have never played many of the consoles biggest games. Killzone any of them. The same goes for uncharted or basically any big Playstation exclusive. I had to for financial reasons chose one or the other. I became a tame version of an xbox fan boy. I wasn't too hardcore about it. I was a real grown up now though, actually working and stuff. Buying the consoles myself! I decided to go with the Xbox, enjoyed the experience immensely. The awkwardly large console and controller now in my mind had a sturdy weight about them I kind of miss. Again, rose tinted. The Xbox and it's design was big and shit. Forever in my mind though, that shite clunkyness will translate as trident god of the sea type gargantuan ness.

I missed out on a world of Playstation exclusive titles. All the time while owning my Xbox consoles I felt like I was a step behind in gaming. This makes the next generation particularly exciting for me, as one of the minority of hardcore gamers who never physically owned a Playstation 2 or 3 (although of course I played on them with friends - I did have friends. I'm not lying)

At the age of 34 my next chapter in gaming continues, as it will until I'm old and grey, but with mutated fingers that move so quick, they are but a blur. This generation of gamers will be something close to evolved super sense X-Men thanks to all the work we have put in shooting; avoiding; reacting and jumping. I plan to be the Xavier of the lot of you as I roll my sleeves up and after a brief period of distraction, truly get back to my gaming and noob you up. The kids online still say noob right. Noob.

I've missed being a hardcore gamer over the last year or so, like I really was. Due to life and stuff like a girlfriend and that. However my priorities are now set. Reality and stuff can do one, no time at all for that nonsense. Bring on the next gen shit.

© Wingy 2013

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