i was originally planning on deleting this tumblr, esp because there is some awkward stuff on it from when i was younger, but since it cannot be connected to me, i see no harm in leaving it here as a memory to my wild tumblr times.
anyway, i am finally liberating myself of this blue hell (or at least, 90% of it) and if everything goes well, this will be my last post on this blog.
what really fucks with me about House Of Cards is how Claire’s and Frank’s marriage is one of the HEALTHIER het relationships I’ve seen on tv.
Clearly, they’re both power-hungry, bad people. No argument about that.
But they debate. They let each other talk, they rarely raise their voice. they respect each other and the other’s ideas.
They have arrangements with other people and they talk about it and are fine with how - healthy, consensual polyamory.
Claire is aware of and accepts Frank’s bisexuality and does not mind whether his partners are male or female.
And you have such ingenious scenes like both their mistresses talking to each other at their inauguration as POTUS & VP.
You have Frank confronting Tom about sleeping with another woman.
“Don’t cheat on my wife, Tom.” Epic. Unparalleled.
Like? Once again they are Bad People and then there’s the fact Kevin Spacey is cancelled for forever, but the writing of them is just so good and I love them so much.
one thing that a therapist once told me that I want to pass along is
I was talking about how– despite my knowing that it was bullshit abuse apologism and misogyny when people tell women who were raped and abused to “move on”– there was still a very real part of me that wished I could just move past it. I hated that my entire life had to change because of some asshole’s decision to dehumanize me. It made me feel like I could never get rid of him, like the experience planted some ugly seed inside me that would continue to take root and grow through my body until I died.
and she told me, “You know, it’s only survivors we expect this from.”
“What do you mean?”
“For everyone else, it’s understood that your experiences shape how you view the world, how you interact with others, and who you become as a person. We both shape and are shaped by our lives. And most people are met with understanding when they explain defining experiences of their personal histories and how it influenced their views, life trajectories, interests, and identities–except survivors. It’s traumatized people alone we expect to somehow not be influenced by their experiences. You need to understand that the expectation that you can just not be influenced at all by things you have lived through is not humanely possible. What society is expecting of you is to be inhuman. You learning about yourself and being shaped by your experiences is not a flaw in you, it doesn’t make you damaged, it doesn’t mean he is controlling you, it just means that you are allowing yourself to be human.”
“If Kavanaugh is confirmed, one-third of the men on the Supreme Court will have been credibly accused of sexual harassment or assault of women without accountability or apology. There will be almost as many men credibly accused of sexual harassment or assault sitting on the Supreme Court as there are women on the Court, total.”
— What is HLS Doing About Professor Brett Kavanaugh?
A reminder to leftist men– just because you vocally believe Dr. Ford doesn’t mean anyone’s forgotten how you’ve talked about survivors coming forward within your own activist/organizing communities.
“I’m a straight white men, life is so hard for me!
I can still rape women and become the president, but I may now have to actually lie to the press about it! Back in the good old days women weren’t even able to speak about it, that’s how it should be!”
the ironic thing about feminist literature is that when it doesn’t at least have a few hate comments on amazon from men who feel threatened by it, it’s probably not good