The camera clicked on just as Peter climbed out the car, a booster seat showing in the corner of the screen âShort stackâ Mysteryâs voice teased shortly before the camera was tilted up to see his masked face
âGive me the camera, I have a better view than you, Mr two foot one.â Darkness covered the screen for a moment before showing a not-so-impressed Peter glaring at Mystery, who was now holding the device.
âLetâs go, shorty, their waiting.â Mystery laughed as Peter attempted to kick Mystery but hit the hard material of his steel-toed boots and recoiled in pain.
With a huff, Peter pushed the apartment systemâs doorbell to Heinzâ floor and waited impatiently for the man to answer âHey you two! Come in, my doorâs open!â The scientistsâ happy voice rang through the speaker, making Peter roll his eyes at the âsecurity riskâ
âItâs gonna be great seeing him again, itâs been...what, two months since we last saw them?â Mystery rambled off-screen as they entered the elevator and started ascending to the 40th floor, Peter held up three fingers âYeah- three months! Thatâs way too long!â
Peter turned to the mirror on the elevator wall and smoothened out the fur sticking up on his head, then catching the fedora Mystery threw him and carefully placing it between his ears in an effort not to mess up his fur.
âThe boys are gonna mess up your fur a bunch, you know.â Mystery commented, Peter rolled his eyes and nodded in silent agreement âPerryâ He signed, red tinting his cheeks
A quiet gasp was heard behind the camera followed by Mysteryâs teasing voice âOoo, tryna look good for your boyfriend, huh?â Peter went even redder and turned his back to the camera, clearly hiding his embarrassment.
Lucky for him, the elevator doors opened and the two of them stepped into the hallway, quickly throwing open Heinzâ door. âHoney, Iâm Home!â Mystery called, Heinzâ laughter quickly following as he emerged from the kitchen
âMIGGS!â Phineas yelled, tackling Mystery to the floor and making the camera fall, Heinz grabbing it mid-air and laughing even harder as he focused the recording onto Phineas enthusiastically hugging Mysteryâs neck
He laughed and ruffled the excited boyâs hair, standing up and holding him on his hip âHey Phin! Long time no see, howâs everything?â He asked, letting Phineas ramble away about the three months Mystery hadnât been there to see.
âHey,â He said quietly as he put a hand over the camera for a moment to shortly kiss Heinz, then uncover the lens and ruffle Ferbâs hair âHey Ferb, lemme see that smile!â He kneeled down and placed Phineas next to him, the boy still rambling away happily.
Ferb blinked and gave a small smile, giving a thumbs up to the masked man âOh hey, youâre recording too?â Vanessaâs voice asked, Mystery hummed in confirmation and got to his feet, hugging both her and Candace before turning to Heinz.
âLetâs answer some asks!â he grinned, everyone agreeing shortly as the camera shut off.
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Hey Mystery, give us some base info on you n' peter, if you can. (Age, Name, Etc)
Mystery glanced over to Peter to read the signed ask, then hummed âIâm not giving out my name or our last name just yet, as âMystery is my Allureâ after all.â he began, throwing up quotation marks at the cheesy quote
âJust know it begins with an M. what else...Iâm 44 and Peterâs 5, We both live in my apartment in Seattle and have known each other all of Peterâs life.Iâm an evil villain, obviously, and Peterâs the best agent in OWCA since Perry quit. Iâd like to say weâre each other's best friend, even if weâre not nemeses anymore.â He sighed, glancing to Peter once again off-screen before returning his eyes to the road.
âNow though, My new nemesis is Calvin The Cat, or Agent Kitty as heâs apparently called. Still canât believe heâs codenamed that.â He shook his head in disbelief âHeâs been needing a new nemesis since Aloyse got locked up, hopping between multiples villians isnât too great according to him, so when Peter got reassigned, he jumped on the chance of having a permanent nemesis.â Mystery continued, stopping at a red lightâGreat guy, really nice, little sarcastic but hey, no-oneâs more sarcastic than Peter.â He joked, a furred hand punching him in the arm as the camera was almost dropped
âHey!â Mystery chuckled, faking annoyance âAlright, weâre just coming up at Danvilleâs welcome sign now so weâll be with Heinz and the kids by the next ask!â He explained shortly before the recording ended.
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Hmm, Hey, Peter n' Mystery, How're things going for you two? What Happened?
The Hand-Held Camera flickered to light as it showed Mystery driving, he glanced past the camera to Peter off-screen, who signed the question to him.
âIn the last few years? Hm.â He sighed, shoulders slumping a bit, a look of uncertainty crossed his masked face âWell, a lot. I adopted Peter, of course, and officially became a villain a few months after. So, naturally, he became my nemesis as soon as he got out of training.â He started, keeping his eyes on the road, fingers drumming against the steering wheel
âSome...things happened that Peter will have to tell you himself, but the short is: he got in serious trouble two years ago and is stuck as an Agent for the next 6 years. Which to be honest is a ridiculous request, especially considering heâs dating the guy whoâs kids nearly got killed by OWCA.â He continued, bitterness dripping from his tone as he mentioned Perryâs OWCA incident.
âBut apart from that, Peter got reassigned to Heinz, I ended up dating Heinz as a result of it, Perry and Peter are together as well and weâve practically been adopted into the family. Itâs going pretty great now, actually.â He finished, counting the events with one hand before smiling softly
âWeâre on our way to Heinzâ right now, actually, âbit of a drive since we live pretty far, but always worth it seeing his face.â He mentioned, dark blush showing at the edges of his mask.
The quiet chuckle of Peter came from behind the camera, making Mystery scowl at him, âVery funny! Now turn it off!â He barked, obviously red under the dark fabric.
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The camera flickered back on for a second recording, Heinz came into view.
âLetâs see, Pixar movies. Uh, i donât watch many of those, but i enjoy Wall-E. Definitely a good movie, heâs just so cute.â He explained firstly, smiling at memories of the movie.
âPhineas likes Coco, i definitely donât cry during that, no way.â He clears his throat âUh, anyway, the kid likes Coco, all the Toy Story movies- why are there so many now?- and The Incredibles. Honestly donât blame him, i mean superpowers? Sign me up!â
âFerb likes a Bugâs Life, Ratatouille, and The Good Dinosaur. Bit of a strange mix of movies, but itâs one of the few things that actually makes him smile, so iâm certainly not complaining.â
âCandace loves Inside Out and Up, the latter we all cry over.â He paused for a second âWhat? Weâre evil, not heartless!â
âAnyway, Vanessa doesnât particularly like Pixar movies all that much. But she has always liked the Pixar shorts, instead. Those are pretty good movies, actually.âÂ
âand Perry likes Brave, Cars and Monsters Inc. I donât see the enjoyment of sentient cars and literal closet monsters. Brave was good, though.â He finished, doing a silent head count of everyone âHmm, i think thatâs everyone! Mystery and Peter will be here soon, so feel free to ask them too!â
The recording cut to a voice clip of Heinz âOut of all the disney shows, however, Phineas and Ferb is my favourite.â and faded to black.
Hey, what are everyone's favourite Disney and Pixar movies? I bet you guys sing along to the songs!
Heinz chuckled as he glanced behind him, the kids and perry watching a movie on the couch, popcorn containers everywhere.âWell, we all like the newer ones but i personally enjoy the older ones. The Great Mouse Detective is a favourite of mine, along with Lion King and Snow White, of course.â He explains, âRatiganâs song is so cool.â
âPerry likes the more animal-based Disney movies: Lady and The Tramp, 101 Dalmations, The Aristocats, Oliver and Company, stuff like that.â He continued, gesturing to the monotreme, who was focused on the screen.
âVanessa likes the darker stories. Bambi, Mulan, The Hunchback of Notre Damn. She especially likes Frakenweenie, which, to be honest, i donât remember letting her watch that one, actually.â He made a confused face before shrugging âAh well, long as she likes itâ
âAnyway, Where were we? Oh, right, movies. Candace, for some reason, likes to watch the sequels to movies, but not the first one! Itâs strange, because sheâs never watched any of the classics, or even the moderately new ones! She waits for the sequel and watches that first before the original! I donât get why she does that! Is it a test? A game? What!? Is it some sort of teenage thing i donât get or is she just weird!?â Heinz rambled, getting increasingly confused and frustrated, only stopping when looking at the camrea and going red, clearing his throat.
âOh, uh, sorry. Bit off track there, what was i sayingâŚ? Right, right, disney movies. Phineas likes the newer ones, the fancy animated ones, you know. tuff like MoâŚ.m- MoâŚâ he stopped, talking over his shoulder âPhineas, whats that ocean movie you like?â He asked, Phineas laughed âMoana?â
Heinz lightly smacked himself âMoana, of course. Yeah, Moana, Frozen 2, Wreck It Ralph 2, all those kinds. I have to admit though, some of the songs are pretty good.â
He glanced at the video footage âAgh, this is getting long. Alright, uh FerbâŚ.well, i donât actually know what he likes. Dunno if he likes Disney Movies, actually-â He was cut off by Phineasâ voice in the background âDucktales and Tangled!â
âOh, well, that settles that then!â Heinz nervously chuckled, picking up the camera from its stand âWeâll answer that next part in a second recording!â
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Hey, what are everyone's favourite Disney and Pixar movies? I bet you guys sing along to the songs!
Heinz chuckled as he glanced behind him, the kids and perry watching a movie on the couch, popcorn containers everywhere.
âWell, we all like the newer ones but i personally enjoy the older ones. The Great Mouse Detective is a favourite of mine, along with Lion King and Snow White, of course.â He explains, âRatiganâs song is so cool.â
âPerry likes the more animal-based Disney movies: Lady and The Tramp, 101 Dalmations, The Aristocats, Oliver and Company, stuff like that.â He continued, gesturing to the monotreme, who was focused on the screen.
âVanessa likes the darker stories. Bambi, Mulan, The Hunchback of Notre Damn. She especially likes Frakenweenie, which, to be honest, i donât remember letting her watch that one, actually.â He made a confused face before shrugging âAh well, long as she likes itâ
âAnyway, Where were we? Oh, right, movies. Candace, for some reason, likes to watch the sequels to movies, but not the first one! Itâs strange, because sheâs never watched any of the classics, or even the moderately new ones! She waits for the sequel and watches that first before the original! I donât get why she does that! Is it a test? A game? What!? Is it some sort of teenage thing i donât get or is she just weird!?â Heinz rambled, getting increasingly confused and frustrated, only stopping when looking at the camrea and going red, clearing his throat.
âOh, uh, sorry. Bit off track there, what was i saying...? Right, right, disney movies. Phineas likes the newer ones, the fancy animated ones, you know. tuff like Mo....m- Mo...â he stopped, talking over his shoulder âPhineas, whats that ocean movie you like?â He asked, Phineas laughed âMoana?â
Heinz lightly smacked himself âMoana, of course. Yeah, Moana, Frozen 2, Wreck It Ralph 2, all those kinds. I have to admit though, some of the songs are pretty good.â
He glanced at the video footage âAgh, this is getting long. Alright, uh Ferb....well, i donât actually know what he likes. Dunno if he likes Disney Movies, actually-â He was cut off by Phineasâ voice in the background âDucktales and Tangled!â
âOh, well, that settles that then!â Heinz nervously chuckled, picking up the camera from its stand âWeâll answer that next part in a second recording!â
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What did you lot get for christmas? If you celebrate it. (i know its like super duper late but Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah)
Everyone lit up when they saw the ask, Vanessa grabbing it first, much to Phineasâ disappointment âI got some really good science books and dad managed to find the latest edition of Evil 101! I mean, Iâm not gonna be completely evil, but Iâm definitely not gonna be some goody-two-shoes.â She explained, pulling a green and purple book from the coffee table and showing it to the camera:
On the front of the book was the title written in a big dramatic font: âEVIL 101âł and smaller text beneath it âsuit for villainy of all agesâ. There was a picture of a well-dressed scientist holding a hand-held -inator on the cover.
âMe and Ferb got a bunch of tools and engineering stuff! Itâs gonna be a great help this summer!â Phineas cheered next âHe also got some stim toys, he really needed themâ he mentioned, Ferb walking back on-screen after seemingly disappearing, now with a chew necklace in his mouth.
â(I got a load of modelling clay and paints to recreate some famous roman sculptures and buildings, itâs gonna be a lot of fun)â Candace smiled, her eyes sparkling.
âI got cookbooks, some new Evil: How Toâs, and programming books! Along with a family of bobblehead statues, they all look like us, i got them bobbling on my blueprint table, actually!â Heinz exclaimed, âWhy do you need Evil: How Toâs?â Vanessa asked quietlyÂ
âI donât know everything about evil! Plus, the books are more in the complicated range, like how to make an inescapable trap or an indestructible Inator.â Heinz explained quickly, then looked at Perry for his answer.
â(New collar, the old one got torn during a fight with Peter. And a cool hologram-inator Heinz made, itâs just a watch that projects holograms, but it's cool.â He paused for a second â....and a Christmas pet bath.)â he shuddered in disgust, clearly not liking the idea.
âOh donât be so fussy, you love it once you're in the water!â â(Yes, but i donât like getting forcibly thrown into a bath)â âthen you should look after your fur!â â(well-)â and the camera slowly faded to black with the arguing in the background.
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What did you guys dress up as for Halloween? I bet the boys did something awesome!
Phineas jumped in his seat immediately âOH well Me and Ferb went as mad scientists, cuz ya know, itâs easier, and Candace went as a zombie bride which she looked super pretty in that dress and-â He rambled, his words turning into a blurred mix.
He stopped mid-sentence when Heinz pulled him into a hug âLet everyone speak, Phineasâ He reminded him, Phineas went a bit red and nodded âI was a vampire, Vanessa helped me out with the fake blood, and i didnât even need fangs!â Heinz explained, flashing his naturally sharp fangs as he spoke.
â(I went as Frankensteinâs Monster, but a platypus version. A Perrystein, as doof called it. Although i like Frakenperry more.)â Perry grinned, drumming his fingers on the couch cushion
âI was Catwoman, mainly so i could look awesome in the black, but i did end up looking awesome anyway.â Vanessa explained, glancing at Candace before talking âCandace doesnât usually do Halloween cuz she gets scared easy but she went with us and dressed as a zombie bride last time!â
âI'm so proudâ Heinz mentioned under his breath, smiling sappily at his daughters before the camera shut off.
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Do any of you have partners or crushes on anyone? C'mon, you knew this was gonna be asked eventually.
Heinz glanced over the question and did a double-take, his ears going red before he cleared his throat and answered âW-well, i do have a boyfriend, heâs a villain too. Seattle boys, you know?â he grinned sheepishly
Perry rolled his eyes and nodded â(I have one too, Peter, heâs a great guy. Heâs Heinzâ nemesis, so i get to see him often. And Mystery is Heinzâ boyfriend, if you were wondering.)â He simply answered, Heinz going red beside him âHEY-â he protested, only to be cut off by the kids.
âWell, Iâm actually aromantic, so crushes and partners arenât really my thing. But, everyoneâs my friend, so that's something!â Phineas explained happily, bouncing in his seat.
â(Well i met this cute girl over at the mall last week and sheâs super nice, her nameâs Stacy or something like that)â Candance mentioned, smiling at the memory
âNah, Iâm not one for relationships any time soon, my ex, Johnny, broke up with me last week cuz he found someone âmore punk-rockâ so i think Iâll just focus on school for now.â Vanessa shrugged, rolling her eyes at Johnnyâs quote.
Ferb simply shook his head âHeâs more of a loner than a social butterfly so he hasnât really met many people, so he doesnât know yet.â Phineas answered for him, somehow getting all of that from a head shake.
âOh!â Heinz perked up âBy the way, Mystery and Peter are gonna be over soon so theyâll be open to ask!â
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Oh god, i'm really sorry, i didn't mean to upset anyone! Um, how's school/work been going?
It took a few moments for everyone to breath and read over the ask, it seemed to have been an hour or so since the previous recording.
âOh!â Phineas piped up, visibly shaking but keeping a smile âWell, Iâm getting really good at maths and Ferb is super good at language, surprisingly!â He explained, already forgetting what upset him as he gestured to Ferb, who gave a silent nod.
Candace sniffled and sat up from leaning against Heinz, signing shakily â(Well Iâve been excelling at History lately! Roman times were really interesting. The armour, the fighting styles, the architecture, all of it is so pretty!)â she explained, smiling weakly
âAnd i, obviously, have been doing good at Science class, since i got two awesome scientist dadsâ and a cool pet to help out!â Vanessa chuckled, smiling at her dad happily.
âWorksâ been going pretty good, Peterâs been thwarting me more recently since he just recovered from the flu, so everything is back on schedule! My-â He was cut off by Perryâs chitter.â-Oh, sorry, Our new inator will be the Cat-inator! It will bring every cat in Danville directly to me, and, using their fuzzy charm, i will take over the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA!â He rambled, finishing off with an evil laugh before Perry elbowed him in the ribs
âOwch! Okay, fine, we will take over the entire tri-state area.â He quickly corrected himself, smiling fondly at his family who was now relaxed and giggling at his excitement âWeâll tell you how it goes tomorrow! Thanks for the ask!â he exclaimed as the camera clicked off.
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Wait, why do you have the Flynn-Fletcher's with you? What happened?
Heinz leaned back into the couch and looked over the ask, his expression dropping immediately. The quiet buzz of talking grinded to a halt as they all read the ask.
ââŚoh. WellâŚâ Heinz began, tensing up as Candace teared up and sniffled, Phineas grabbed the ask carefully and sighed âw-well, Heinz is our dad, he adopted us when Me and Ferb were pretty young.â
Candace started signing â(Me, Mom and Dad were going on a trip to the cinema because Ducky Momo: The Movie, was going to play later that day. The boys were getting babysat at the house andâŚ.)â she stopped, sobbing.
Vanessa and Heinz quickly hugged her, Perry comforting both boys. Vanessa continued for her âThere was a crash.â She muttered, covering Candaceâs ears as she spoke âTheir parents ended up dying a few days later and it gave Candace someâŚ.scars.â she gestured to the pink-red burn marks on the entire left side of Candaceâs body âDad adopted them after he heard about it in the news. Theyâve lived with us ever since.â She finished, looking at her father, who nodded
âPoor kidsâŚPhineas wasnât even school-aged. He must have been around 3. It was only 5 years ago butâŚit feels so long since we got them.â He explained quietly, holding Phineas to his side and Candace to the other, who was sobbing into his shoulder. âPerry, turn the camera off.â
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hey Heinz, what's everyone's pronoun preference? Just in case anyone mixes it up.
Heinz hummed happily before clearing his throat and looking off-screen to the other figures sitting on the couch watching some kids movie called 'Fluffy Bunny'
âWell, thank you for asking, it means a lot.â He started off, fidgeting with the sleeves of his lab coat âMe, Phineas and Perry are he/him,â He shifted the camera and gestured to the platypus and red-haired boy.
âFerb is he/him or they/them, usually going by he/himâ The green-haired boy waved, âCandace is she/her or they/them, usually sheâ A Short-haired girl waved with her face off-screen
âAnd Vanessa is simply she/herâ Heinz pointed the camera back at himself, readjusting it on the stand âSo thatâs what we go by! Of course, weâre fine if they/them is used for any of us, but the âgenderedâ pronouns are specific from person to person.â He explained, a hand now in his pocket
âThanks for the question!â He grinned, fiddling with the camera until it shut off.
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Perry, your evil? I thought you were OWCA's best agent!
Perrin growled and crossed his arms, shooting a side-eyed glare to Heinz before sighing â(I was. Then i found out they had put the boys under a watchlist for âdangerousâ individuals in need of....silencing.)â He explained with an even more angry growl, his fur standing on end
â(I quit on the spot, chewed the bossâ out, threw my hat on the floor and walked out. Havenât been back since, 5 years of my life down the drain.)â He sighed exasperatedly, dragging a paw through his head fur â(at least the boys are safe.)â
Once again, the mammal sighed and fiddled with the camera until it shut off with a click.
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Welcome!
There was a click and some hushed movements before the camera came to life and a tall man came into view, taking a few steps back
âHello! I am Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and this is my assistant Perry The Platypus!â The Scientist kneeled down to his furry friend
â(Hello.)â The small mammal signed deadpan â(I am Perrin Doofenshmirtz, His pet and evil assistant. This is our ask blog, feel free to ask anyone in our family.)â
âHopefully, a list of all the askable people will appear someone down here!â He gestured vaguely to the bottom of the screen, a short line of text appeared
Right here!
âSo, we hope to see your asks soon! Itâs going to be nice, having some friends around.â
â(we all know you need it, D)â
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