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wandasl0vely · 1 year

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I can’t loose you.

summary | wanda had just got back from a mission, little did she know, you were falling apart alone.

warnings | self harm (cutting), attempting suicide

I didn’t expect for the day to end like this, but I carried myself up to the shared bedroom with Wanda and immediately slumped down onto the bed. Looking up to the ceiling, my thoughts soon leave my head, leaving me completely empty.

One moment, I was zoning out while lying on the bed. And then I feel this dreadful, oh-so-familiar tightening sensation in my chest. A wave of emotions crashes over me. One hand clutches my chest as I bolt to my feet towards the bathroom. I rummaged through the cabinet, pulling out all types of bottles till I found the one I’m looking for. It looked like a regular bottle of pain-killers, except it wasn’t. Twisting the cap open, the glint of light reflecting on the razors made them look heavenly.

I carefully observed through the pack of razors, trying to find the cleanest one. Satisfied with the one I chose, I tugged up my sleeve, holding the weapon firmly as I pressed it down on my skin.

At first, there was no blood, but soon enough it was dripping down my arm. One swipe turned into many, it made me want, no, need to do even more. Gritting my teeth, I let out a hiss of pain, yet somehow also enjoyed the sting.

Pain is good. It made me feel alive. Even for a second, it brought me back to reality.

When the world felt like it was going to crush me, or when my brain aches so much it makes me want to tear it apart from the whirlpool of emotions.

When everything became just too much.

It wasn’t long till my head started spinning, sliding down the wall sluggishly. I could feel my eyes opening and closing, followed by my body giving up on me not long after.

Click.

“Sweetheart, I’m back!” The voice of the ginger echoing through the house. “Where are you?”

Nothing.

“Y/N? Are you there?” The ginger once asked again.

Pure silence.

Panic flows through Wanda’s veins. She rushed up to the bedroom, a glimpse of light catching the corner of her eye.

“Y/N?” she said, her voice slightly muffled through the door. Hearing no response made her even more anxious. Wanda twisted the knob, turning out for it to be locked. She maximizes her strength on pushing the door open, attempting to forcely unlock it.

The lock clicked.

A broken gasp leaves Wanda’s lips once your arms are finally bared in front of her.

“Sweetheart?” Wanda said. Rushing to your side, shaking your body as each shake became more aggreisve.

Wake up.

Y/N, wake up.

Please, I’m not joking.

Wake up!

Tears streaming down her cheeks as she kept shouting your name over and over.

The last thing you could hear were her muffled cries: Don’t leave me. I can’t loose you. You’re going to be okay. Hold on, please, I still need you.

My eyes fluttered open, catching a quick glance of the bright light above me. I suddenly felt a pair of hands connecting with mines. I tilted my head, instantly greeted by a pair of green orbs. But, the color green seems dull, and there were these black stains under her eyes. She looks exhausted.

I didn’t remember most parts of what happened till I saw big bandages covering up almost my whole arms. No matter how much I try to resist, I can’t help to look at it as the memories flooded back into my mind.

Wanda held my arms gently, as if the slighest bit of pressure would make my body break.

Still, the feeling of the gauze pads pressing onto my skin made me wince.

“I’m sorry,” was all I managed to get out, trying to avoid her concerned gaze, moving to stare at the floor instead.

“Hey, no, it’s okay. It’s not your fault sweets, you’re okay.” the firmness in her voice made you finally look up to her. It wasn’t harsh, she wasn’t judging me or trying to make you feel bad about what you’ve done. She was worried, she was trying to show you that being in pain, isn’t something you should be sorry for.

Still, it made me feel guilty. How could I put her through this when she seems to still care?

Unable to handle the storm brewing in me, my eyes stinging with tears, which only pissed me off more. As much as it killed me to let Wanda see me break, I couldn’t help it.

“Oh, honey. I’m sorry I didn’t notice. I promise, I’ll get you all the help you need. ” cooed the ginger. “For now, it’s best for you to rest, kay?”

As much as I want to close my eyes, I hesitate. There is a worry still lingering in the back of my mind, and I really, really need to get it off my chest.

“Wands? You-- you won’t leave me, right?”

The arms around me tighten as she let out a soft tone at the question. “Never,” she promises. “I’ll always be here for you, sweetheart. I love you so, so much and I want you to know that.”

Her words echoes in my mind over and over again as my mind startd dozing off.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff angst #self harm #wandamaximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff oneshot #marvel #marvel fluff #wanda maximoff fanfic #wanda maximoff x y/n #comfort #marvel comfort #wanda maximoff comfort #wanda maximoff fluff #scarlett witch #scarlett witch x reader #self harm reader

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wandasl0vely · 1 year

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The Pier II

“Y/N,” Wanda says, she had a soft expression on her face and I could tell why.

I was quick to spin around, gasping slightly at her. I felt my heart stopped for a second; “Wanda,” I breath out while our eyes locked together. She stepped closer by each step, making my heart pound even faster whilst leaving no room in my lungs to breath.

My breathing hitched, causing tears to stream down my cheeks. I felt Wanda hugging me without hesitant, holding down my head on her shoulder with her hand while the other rubbing my back. I can’t do this. I can’t let her hurt me. She cannot get through me. I must resist. Were all my head could spiral on about.

“Oh, Y/N,” whispered the ginger, soothing the panic in me.

“Let go,” I simply whispered at the ginger. I felt her holding me even tighter, refraining herself from my sentence, “Wanda, I can’t.”

I pushed myself off her, looking directly at her green orbs, making me feel like she’s winning by manipulating me. “You can’t, Wanda-- you can’t just come and tell me it’s okay! Because it isn’t, you fucking left me, and you were an asshole for it. You said you loved me, but you lied, you just left! ” My breath came out like angry smoke, shouting at Wanda, not even realizing how much my words could hurt someone.

Wanda stumbled back, she had no words for me, just sharp silence.

“You hurt me, Wand’s, you were the one girl I trusted. Could’ve left a fucking note saying: ‘Hey Y/N, I don’t love you and I’m leaving you!’ or some other shit. But no, instead you just took off,” I continued rambling. The things she said, the things she’s done to me, and yet I can’t get over her.

“I’m sorry,” simply replied Wanda. She acknowledges that what she did was never okay, that she shouldn’t had just left like that. But God, did the things you said hurt her. Wanda was always understanding, she knew your trouble of facing anger and dissapointment or when you’d feel overwhelmed by loud or hurtful things. Not even once did she ignore your feelings, or get upset whenever you were angry. She was patient with you.

I scoffed at her answer, “Did you even know that I loved you?” Say yes. Tell me that you did know. Tell me that you love me. Tell me that you wanna try again, please. Deep down, underneath the pain and guilt, you still love her.

“I don’t know.” The ginger spoke in a dry voice.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maxmoff x y/n #angst #wanda maximoff angst #marvel fanfic #wanda maximoff x reader #mcu angst #elizabeth olsen

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wandasl0vely · 1 year

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FUCK

Only Child

Nobody talks about the only child.

The child that is assumed to be spoiled

The child is assumed to be loved by their parents.

Yes, there is no lie that sometimes you are spoiled and you are loved.

Yet you are carrying the weight of an eldest and youngest child.

That you must not speak against them so the house you live in could be liveable and bearable

That you are the punching bag for their anger and stress that they cannot communicate with others or each other.

That you carry the trauma that they have passed on to you from their childhood.

You try to be strong but sometimes you just want to curl up and let someone carry the weight

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wandasl0vely · 2 years

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The Pier

“I’ll never forget this moment, right here with you.” Forty-two and a half days, that’s how long it’s been since I’ve broken up with my girlfriend, Wanda. I was at the pier, staring at the big ferris wheel, recalling where I had just confessed how I truly felt with Wanda, how my heart would flutter every time I saw her. “Just one, please.” I kindly said to the worker, smiling as he helped me into the cabins. I felt a brisk of wind, my eyes fluttering at the feeling I’ve missed, and suddenly I’m back at the top of the ferris wheel with my girlfriend. The view I had when I was on the top, when I was too scared to look and when my girlfriend encourged me to see the night sky. How my girlfriend’s hands were wrapped in my warm ones, admiring the stars as the wind blows towards our faces. I had started dating Wanda for about a six months, and I’ve always loved every second, minute, hour, and day I spent with her and I wanted to make it last forever. “Wanda, there is something that has been filling my thoughts lately,” I broke the silence. Wanda turns her gaze to you, “Is everything okay?” I simply nod, I knew that I felt nervous, and my eyes were looking anywhere but Wanda’s, “I’ve been meaning to tell you since a few weeks back, do you remember when we first met? It was at the exposition park rose garden and there was this couple who just got enganged at the exact second.” Wanda looks at me confused, struggling to figure out on what I’m trying to say, “What do you mean? Are you saying that you want us to get married? I mean, don’t you think it’s a little too fas-” My eyes were quick to widen, stopping Wanda mid-sentence, “No, no, that’s not my point at all. I mean that, the couple we saw were going to get married and is going to spend their lifes together right? That’s what I want, I want to spend my life with you. Wanda, not only that I like you, but I also love you.” The enviroment settled into quitness until I spoke again, “We don’t have to get married just for us to spend our lives together, I just want you to be the one I share my life with. You make me happy, you truly do and I hope you feel the same about me.” Wanda looks at me, she felt her cheeks burning into a rose pink color and her heart flutters from what I’ve said, “I do, Y/N you make me happy and I promise that I’ll never forget this moment, right here with you.” I felt how my eyes were filled with tears, maybe it’s true that people come and go, I thought. Suddenly I’m back on the ground again, and it hit me, everything I experienced and felt with Wanda, it’s all over. And there isn’t a single thing I could do to bring it back again, the one thing I desired and dreamed of, it’s all over. I stepped off the cabin, fixing my coat as I started to walk back home. That was until I heard a call of my name from behind, just by looking at the silhouette, I already knew who had called me. “Y/N,” Wanda says, she had a soft expression on her face and I could tell why.

#wandamaximoff #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wanda maximoff x f!reader #angst #wandamaximoff angst #wanda fanfic #wanda x y/n #wlw #marvel

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