viviynii

[viviynii]

You should be disgusted and ashamed

I should be sleeping at this moment, yet I'm still wide awake. Your recollections have kept my eyes open until now. It's a little bit strange, yet I still happen to think of you. Despite the fact that our relationship ended a long while ago, I occasionally find myself wondering about you. Yes, you creep into my mind for little or no known reason. It nevertheless hurts so bad.

I have to confess: It saddened me when you couldn't give me those three words. It made me upset when you finally uttered it, but you were just kidding. I got dismayed when you started telling me you could never make room in your heart for me. I got heartbroken when you waved me goodbye. I got deeply affected that you brought tears to my eyes. I got completely destroyed after I started to realize that I wouldn't be able to hold those hands anymore or otherwise claim you as mine. But it destroyed me even further when you reappeared and showed me that still- we didn't stand a chance. I got disheartened because no matter what I did to win that heart, I always lose in the end.

Later, I convinced myself that I'd be fine just then. Unfortunately, it only became worse and worse until time went on. It led me to believe that loving you indeed drove me to an indefinite cycle of heartbreak and thistles striking my heart, leaving it to bleed relentlessly. Perhaps they were right when they told me that the worst gamble I've ever chosen to take was falling in love with you.

Nevertheless, I assume you had far too much entertainment, didn't you? You took satisfaction in knowing me suffer the consequences of loving you. You were clearly having sal a great time watching me bleed.

But I must say, however, I had fun too. That now, it's funny whenever I hear Olivia Rodrigo sing the lines, "That was our place, I found it first. I made the jokes; you tell to her." That at some times, I'd like to ask you the same thing Olivia did: DO YOU GET DÉJÀ VU WHEN SHE'S WITH YOU?

I admit, I was a little bit caught off guard, seeing as you used to call me that as well. You also used to come to me and ask for a song which you could adapt into a prose. You used to gift me with literary pieces too, which were made up from your favorite tracks that some you did say totally reminds you of me. So, I find it a little bit surprising how you treat her the very much the same way you treated me; it was like our storyline is being retold, however this time, with a different woman. What for?

But now I must confess: I absolutely loathe you for offering. Her the piece of music you said reminded you of me, for playing her the title track you said had been intended solely for me, for calling her the very same name you used to call me, and for completely repeating the storyline we penned.

You should be disgusted and ashamed.

You should be disgusted and ashamed.

You should be disgusted and ashamed.

You not only made a fool of me by convincing me you felt exactly the same way yet somehow the circumstances were a little off for us both, but then you also completely betrayed me through replicating the same recollections we created. With some other woman-the one whom you did know who often made me had second thoughts.

I suppose this means I was foolish when I said I'd want to continue keeping you awhile longer, and I'd still sacrifice everything for you if we ever crossed paths again. Now, all I want is to completely forget everything about you. Or if not, I'd love to wreak greater pain and suffering upon your inner world than you did on mine.

And if you start wondering how I see you now, I'd say you're no angel who rescued me from misery; you are the misery.

#deja vu #cheated #betrayal #sad thoughts #glimpses #sad #traitor

[viviynii]

To those who got cheated on

It’s not the betrayal that hurts. It’s the shattered trust, the realization that you, the one person I gave my heart to, the one I thought would never hurt me, did exactly that. It’s like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, and with one confession, you pushed me off, not caring if I’d survive the fall.

The moment you admitted it, I keep picturing her lips on your neck. I can’t unsee it. It’s like a movie that plays over and over in my mind, each time with sharper clarity. The hurt, it’s real, gnawing at my insides, constant ache that never goes away. I wish I could just rewind time, take us back to that place where everything was simple, where a simple “I am sorry” could mend things. But life isn’t fairytale.

Nights turned into monsters. I used to curl up in bed, hoping for sleep to take me away from the reality I didn’t want to accept. But it never came. Instead, it was twisted dance of thoughts and tears. I’d clutch my pillow imagining your words echoing in my head. The trust shattered, like glass on a cold, unforgiving floor. It wasn’t just who cheated, it was a piece of my heart you took, too.

Days were no different. I’d sit there, staring blankly at nothing.

“What did I miss?”

“When did you start to slip away?”

“Why didn’t I see the signs?"

Questions became my constant companions, and the answer I sought were like whispers in the wind. The emptiness in my chest grew heavier, a sinking feeling that seemed to have no end. The world went on around me, but I was trapped in this bubble of pain, unable to escape. And the tears, these fucking tears. They came at the most unexpected moments, like a dam that had burst and couldn’t be contained. I cried for the love that was lost, for the trust that was shattered, and for the future that I had envisioned with you. Each tear held a piece of me, falling into an abyss of despair that seemed bottomless. I’d look in the mirror and see a reflection I hardly recognized, a face marked by grief and betrayal.

You see, it’s not just about the act itself, but the aftermath. It’s about feeling small and insignificant, like I wasn’t enough to keep you by my side. It’s about the nights when I’d whisper to myself, trying to convince myself that maybe it was just a nightmare I’d wake up from. But morning brought no respite, just the cold reality that this was my new truth.

I wish I could tell you that a sorry would have been enough, that your regret could piece together the fragments of my shattered heart. But apologies can’t turn back time, and they can’t erase the images that haunt my thoughts. The pain, it’s so much more than words can describe. It’s a storm that rages within me, tearing down the walls I built around my vulnerability. So here I am, a broken heart in a world that keeps on spinning. The pain is my constant companion, a reminder of what was lost and what can never be again. Maybe one day, the ache will dull, and the tears will come less frequently.

#cheated #betrayal #trauma #relationship #writing #sad thoughts #sad

[viviynii]

You are a traitor

She never believe any man in her life — she did actually however, she found out her father cheating when she was fourteen. That day she promise to herself that she would never ever believe in any man.

She never really in love with any man even she was in a relationship with someone — until she met someone in her twenty two. He changed her perspective about man, love and everything.

Sadly, he did that too. He cheated on her.

The most painful about cheating was the fact that he never felt sorry for what he have done to you, he gaslighted as his actions — cheating was right because of your weakness. Because you were not enough for him. Furthermore you have to see them falling in love with other person while you still struggling with the pain, the trauma. Was it equitable?

She almost believe all they had was special, but he betrayed her.

She almost believe everything he did was truthful, but he was a liar.

She didn’t want his sympathize however she want herself back, the happiest her before she met him.

She just want to be heal.

Thank you for reading! Kindly show your love and support by like and drop a comment about which part you could resonate with the most. ♡

#writing #betrayal #traitor #sadnees #trauma #relationship #sad thoughts

[viviynii]

The answer you never wait for

I will never understand your writing, nor about you.

I knew Van Gogh’s work was nothing to a Picasso admirer like you. However one of his works, The Starry Night is now one of my favorite paintings. The cup of coffee you said was my order at that time was not mine, it was yours. Haruki Murakami certainly won my heart with the plot.

It was rainy outside.

"His book feels like holding my hand. You know, you should try to read this!!." I said enthusiastically.

You took a deep breath, leaning back in your chair while hugging your own hands in your sweater pocket, curled up in the cold. You really like this atmosphere.

I saw you watching a drop of water flowing down the window at that time. I saw you took a deep breath while looking at the water which then split into two. I saw your brows furrow even just a little, then you pursed your beautiful pink lips.

I realize you have many points of view about that water. But you forget, even if they flow in different directions, gravity will eventually bring them back together.

Maybe you didn’t mind my words, now you’ll remember it ; maybe my words bored you, now you’ll miss it.

A moment later I realized that I was drowning in your thoughts..

I always looking at you;

I always trying to understand your points of view, in my own way.

But you didn’t even realize it..

Thank you for reading! Kindly show your love and support by like and drop a comment about which part you could resonate with the most. ♡

#writing #life #relationship #sadnees #thoughts

[viviynii]

the sad part is that sometimes we develop connections with people who don't appreciate us as much as we appreciate them. and for the longest time, we refuse to accept that. we keep waiting for them to somehow see our relationship the way we see it. we stay with them even when they're not reciprocating our feelings wholehearteadly because we hope that one day they will realize and value the beauty of the connection we share. its devastating— the day you finally have to be honest with yourself and believe what has been right before your eyes all this while. and when its time to finally let go of them, be brave. be strong for yourself because you deserve greater than this. you deserve a relationship in which the other person is equally present, committed and involved. you deserve a true love; one that both of you and the other person feel and choose to nourisha at the same time.