Then and now 1998 age 16 on top 2021 age 39 on bottom #thenandnowchallenge #young and old #lookinyoungstill (at Las Vegas, Nevada) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZSN103P6g5yeJVO03sD1nQ-QjOlqqwof9GOJk0/?utm_medium=tumblr
Red plaid and an Exploited skull... #nailfetish #claws #punkrock #punkrocknails #rednails #red (at Las Vegas, Nevada) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXo8U19Ppxrn3N94bq31EzcyGtp0Iv-O23C7xg0/?utm_medium=tumblr
My insides literally feel like they want to explode and show on the outsides. My mind is holding onto memories of a great love that felt like it would last a lifetime. My mind is also seeing the truth that maybe it wasn't a great love. My body is swelling with sadness. Or maybe it's death?
My voice cracks and gets raspy as I speak of him as if the universe doesn't want to remember how he held me until I fell asleep or rubbed my legs when they were in pain. The universe doesn't want to remember how we would laugh together.
When I close my eyes I see him looking at me smiling and offering a glowing presence and then his smile fades and he shakes his head and his glowing begins to dim until he completely fades away.
When he says he wants more than just sex from you. And says he isn't like other men who thinks with his d**k.. I am not being a prude, I'm just saying I already had my time with friends with benefits and men who claim to want more than just the fun. After they have their fun, they dispose of you like trash. I am too old to be friends with benefits and be disposed like trash. I am not a trash person to just be thrown away. I am a person. I have feelings. I have fun. I am compassionate. I am caring. I am nurturing. I love sex. I want to be with one person. I want one person to choose me in return. I have a lot to offer a person. I am stable. I am smart. I am clingy if I love the person. I never request to have space. I do not cheat. I am family oriented. I want a family. I want something real. I would like to feel valued for once.
“Go and love someone exactly as they are. then, watch how they transform into the greatest truest version of themselves. when one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered.”