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The Land of Ox
We are nothing more than a graphic novel but we're planning on becoming a cartoon in due time and this is about the adventure and fuckery of Skipper Pete!
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Episode IX: The God of Hellfire
With the rising of the sun, came a change in swag. A sense of love, lust, and doom came with the rising sun. Its an urge so strong that if you lived long enough you felt this feeling before and that could only mean 1 of 2 things could happen or would happen, and that is A. War or B. The Devil is in need of souls.
Skipper Pete woke up a little later than normal but oddly felt stronger and more wholesome as if nothing there’s nothing wrong in the world so he rolled out of bed and into his best cloth and headed to McQ’s.
*About a 15 minute walk later*
McQ’s Guy: “What’s up Skipper Pete.”
Skipper Pete: “Not much, about to go up to the capitol with some bomb as food.”
McQ’s Guy: “Awe, you always speak so highly of us.”
Skipper Pete: “Well what can I say baby, if it’s free, it can’t be beat!”
McQ’s Guy: “So what will you be having today?”
Skipper Pete: “I need 4 Mama’s Sweet Shit Pies.”
McQ’s Guy: “Anything else?”
Skipper Pete: “No that’ll be all for today. The Waffler is coming over to fuck up some pancakes.”
McQ’s Guy: “Awe shit, how much for a stack?”
Skipper Pete: “I got you the next time I come in or you could just come up and see Hitler and the guys.”
McQ’s Guy: “Bet man, I’ll be up there on my break later.”
Skipper Pete: “Oh fuck I almost forgot about Mayo Mouth… Can I get a large mayo.”
McQ’s Guy: “Yea sure, here ya go.”
Skipper Pete: “Thanks and fuck it, let me get a Jizz Shake for Hitler and two MT Rainbows.”
McQ’s Guy: “Ok anything else before those pies are done?”
Skipper Pete: “Nah that should be it.”
McQ’s Guy: “Ok this should be everything.”
Skipper Pete: “Looks like it baby.”
Skipper Pete grabs everything and heads to the capitol building to meet with everyone.
Skipper Pete: “Here you go Mayo Mouth.”
Skipper Pete sets the large jar of mayo onto Mayo Mouth’s desk.
Mayo Mouth: “Thanks Skipper Pete, I’ve been craving this stuff all morning.”
Skipper Pete: “You know me, always got the hook up.”
Mayo Mouth: “Oh don’t I know, Hitler has spent 200k on that fairy dust of yours.”
Skipper Pete: “Has he? I didn’t even know.”
Death walks into the room.
Death: “Guys! Ay everyone! Skipper Pete is here!”
Hitler: “Did he get the pies?”
Death: “Yea and drinks.”
Hitler: “I’ll tell The Waffler to start the pancakes.”
Death: “You want this Jizz Shake?”
Hitler: “Oh yes have Mayo Mouth run it in.”
Mayo Mouth: “On the way boss.”
Death: “C’mon let’s go.”
Skipper Pete, Death and Mayo Mouth walking into the next room.
Hitler: “Are you fucking ready to fucking party, you blue velvet hair fuck?”
Skipper Pete: “Hell yea mother fucker. Who’s all here?”
Hitler: “Everyone but the special guest.”
Skipper Pete: “I didn’t know we were having a special guest.”
Death: “Yea he won’t tell us who it is.”
Skipper Pete: “Why not?”
Hitler: “Well you’ll find out as soon as we get some of that wonderful fairy dust.”
Death: “Oh we going fucked.”
Skipper Pete: “Then let’s do this shit baby.”
With one swift motion Skipper Pete takes off his bag and does a bump or two before throwing fairy dust everywhere.
Mayo Mouth: “My tits have never been this shade of purple before.”
Father Time: “That’s the fairy dust. If this is your first time, you’re in for a ride.”
Hitler: “It’s ok, I’ll take care of you like daddy always does.”
Death: “Ha gayyyyyyy.”
Mayo Mouth: “You always know how to treat a girl.”
Hitler: “I’ll give you that sloppy blowjob that you like so much later.”
Father Time: “Can I just enjoy my trip without you guys fucking in front of me?”
Hitler: “Oh don’t worry Father, you’ll know when we start the love making.”
Death: “I think imma be sick.”
The Waffler: “Hey you guys want some tea? It’ll help with your sickness Death.”
Death: “No them not talking about choking on cock would help with that.”
Father Time: “Trueeee.”
Hitler: “Lol let’s get on with the show then, yes?”
Skipper Pete: “Hell yea baby, I just creamed myself this shit is sooo good!”
Hitler: “Well once we hit the highest high, we’ll be going to hell and back.”
Mayo Mouth: “Oh what do you mean?”
Hitler: “Psychedelic rock and fairy dust is a life where death is the only way to truly be born.”
Mayo Mouth: “Sounds spicy.”
A few minutes later the fairy dust takes full control over their minds. Then a knocking starts banging on the door.
Hitler: “That must be him, our spirit guide.”
Father Time: “Who did you get?”
Hitler: “Just you wait.”
Hitler walks over and opens the door to an older man who has, by the looks of it has had a battle or two with Time or so the drugs made it seem that way and by this point he was more or less just a blur of fire. The Flame just waltzed over to the stage and toyed with a few things before he started to sing, as he did everyone became tripped to their mind. Everyone but Skipper Pete.
Skipper Pete: “What’s going on?”
Arthur Brown: “Well, I am, the God of Hellfire and I’ve come to make a record with you.”
Skipper Pete: “Wait, you’re Arthur Brown!”
Arthur Brown: “Yes
Skipper Pete: “I heard that I shouldn’t mess with you.”
Arthur Brown: “Well that’s up to you but I was thinking with you work in Bonic Soup, that you and I could put out something epic.”
Skipper Pete: “Kind of like Milton but more fucked.”
Arthur Brown: “Yes.”
Skipper Pete: “Fuck let’s do it then.”
Arthur Brown: “Then come here my boy.”
Skipper Pete walks over to Arthur Brown and as he does, Arthur Brown makes a wall of Hellfire. And points to it.
Arthur Brown: “After you.”
With a gulp Skipper Pete walks into the flame.
The End
#thelandofox#SkipperPete#death#hitler#drugs#acid#lsd#thewaffler#mayomouth#ArthurBrown#themonkeyofox#jimboxofox#fire#hellfire#thegodofhellfire#episode#episode 9#IX
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Episode VIII: Skyblock
Skipper Pete: “Hey Stick Bitch, do you have a stack of Stone that I can use?”
Stick Bitch: “Umm I think there was some in the chest.”
Lord Moomoo: “No, I just checked, I have cobble smelting now.”
*Skype msg noise*
Skipper Pete: “Do you guys mind if Warren joins us?”
Stick Bitch: “I don’t care.”
Lord Moomoo: “Yeah, it’s your stream.”
Skipper Pete: “Okay, I’m adding him now, hey Warren, what’s up?”
Warren: “Yeah, umm, you still are willing to show me this skyblock?”
Skipper Pete: “Yea!”
Stick Bitch: “Hey Moomoo could you get me an axe?”
Lord Moomoo: “Oh I like what you did here Kat.”
Kat the Cannibal: “Thanks.”
Lord Moomoo: “Deft, what’s with the lake?”
Deft: “I don’t know, I think it looks nice, Skipper Pete you think it looks nice, right?”
Skipper Pete: “Ooo ooo I know you should add an island in the middle and build a gazebo with a fire pit on the island!
Kat the Cannibal: “That sounds pretty chill.”
Deft: “Right, fishing party.”
Lord Moomoo: “But why fish, there’s a herd of beef over here.”
Warren: “Alright I’m on the server now. Now what?
Skipper Pete: “Tp.”
Warren: “To who?”
Skipper Pete: “HorseDoctorMan.”
Warren: “It’s saying that I don’t have the right.”
Stick Bitch: “It’s because you have to /tpa it.
Warren: “Oh, ohly shit this is neat!”
Skipper Pete: “Right!”
Warren: “Who did this?”
Skipper Pete: “Father Time.”
Warren: “He plays?”
Lord Moomoo: “From time to time but he needs to finish the Jedi Tower!”
Kat the Cannibal: “I think he stopped it because he wanted to build Pompeii .”
Lord Moomoo: “That could be cool if it’s done right.”
Skipper Pete: “I think he’s going to do it out of dirt blocks.”
3 hours and 46 minutes later
Kat the Cannibal: “How is it 7am already?”
Stick Bitch: “I’m not sure but I am pretty sure Moomoo passed out like an hour and a half ago.”
Kat the Cannibal: “Makes sense, on why he has been walking into the wall.”
Skipper Pete: “Be right back guys.”
Lord Moomoo: “Where you going?”
Skipper Pete: “Going to take a shit.”
Lord Moomoo: “Okay bring me back a pop tart!”
Father Time: “Wasted!”
Warren: “When did you get here?”
Skipper Pete gets up and walks out the room and into the bathroom.
Skipper Pete: “I almost forgot to turn on Ace of Spades!”
Skipper Pete wipes washes his hands and walks back to his cpu.
Father Time: “Welcome back!”
Skipper Pete: “Thank you, it’s good to be back Father!”
Kat the Cannibal: “Why were you playing Motörhead?”
Skipper Pete: “I like to pretend that I’m pooping out a bomb and the song Ace of Spades is the back story for the bomb.”
Stick Bitch: “I’m going to have to try that.”
Skipper Pete: “Totally!”
Father Time: “3… 2… 1…”
Skipper Pete hears a knock at his door.
Skipper Pete: “Later guys!”
Kat the Cannibal: “Death and Skipper Pete seating in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
Skipper Pete leaves to go open the door.
Death: “What’s up?”
Skipper Pete: “Was playing MC with Kat the Cannibal, Father Time, Warren, Stick Bitch, and Moomoo.”
Death: “You really played with my brother?”
Skipper Pete: “Yeah, why?”
Death: “Because he’s a crybaby!”
Skipper Pete: “All well.”
Death: “You wanna chill at The Waffler’s Café?”
Skipper Pete: “Yeah!”
Death: “Do you mind if we walked today?”
Skipper Pete: “Nah.”
Death and Skipper Pete walk into the sunrise to the Dank Café.
The Waffler: “What can I do you boys for?”
Death: “Can I get a tea, black, and a stack of blueberry pancakes.”
The Waffler: “And you Skipper Pete?”
Skipper Pete: “Umm can I get a tea with two sugars and a muffin ?”
The Waffler: “Yes sirs!”
Hitler walks out the restroom.
Skipper Pete: “What’s up Hitler?”
Hitler: “Not much just waiting for Mayo Mouth.”
Death: “Lame!”
Skipper Pete: “Haha I just got done talking to Kat the Cannibal.”
Hitler: “That is funny! I have to tell him!”
Death: “Haha is she still trying to get him?”
Hitler: “Yeah but he covered.”
The Waffler: “Here y’all go!”
Skipper Pete and Death: “Thanks!”
Hitler: “Hey Skipper Pete have you heard that Arthur Brown’s in town and trying to get an album going?”
Death: “We saw him at McQ’s the other day.”
Hitler: “Well Mayo Mouth went to the office like a dumbass, so I got to go.”
Death and Skipper Pete: “Later!”
Death: “But yeah stay away from Arthur Brown.”
Skipper Pete: “Alright, I will.”
Death: “You better.”
Skipper Pete: “Well I’m gonna go home and get some sleep, later.”
Death: “Night bro.”
The End
#tag#TheLandofOx#Land#Ox#Jimbox#SkiperPete#Skipper#Pete#FatherTime#Death#Father#time#drugs#lsd#acid#swag#yolo#kat#the#cannibal#hitler#nazi#mayomouth#mayo#mouth#lordmoomoo#lord#moomoo#thewaffler#waffles
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Episode VII: The Deal
In the wee hours of the morning Skipper Pete starts to learn to use The Shining, flashes of Papa's life and memories
come into site and something of a kid made of pure hate and evil, his son but not at the same time, the mother of this child the woman he loves the most, the woman he spoke of. A knock at the door.
Death: "Hey, Skipper Pete I know you're up."
Skipper Pete: "Yea, coming."
Skipper Pete opens the door, Skipper Pete looks wasted, wearing a bathrobe, his eyes as red as blood.
Death: "You okay?"
Skipper Pete: "Yeah, fine why?"
Death: "You just don't look like yourself, you wanna get out and do a few runs with me?"
Skipper Pete: "Yeah sure, let me get dressed real fast."
Skipper Pete walks into the other room and puts on his coat and hat, as he walks back into the living room he
sees Death looking at some of the drawings on the wall.
Skipper Pete: "Okay."
Death: "What is all of this?"
Skipper Pete: "Umm nothing."
Death: "C'mon on man, tell me, i'm your friend, let me help you."
Skipper Pete: "Just not now."
Death: "Okay, you ready then?"
Skipper Pete: "Yea."
Death raises his scythe and cuts a portal into the room. They step though into a bedroom with pink flowers.
Skipper Pete: "I like these flowers."
Death: "Take them, here."
Death pulls out a box so Skipper Pete can put the pretty pink flowers in.
Death: "Miss. McGillicuddy?"
Warren: "She not here brother, I told her to take a walk."
Death: "Warren? Is that you brother?
Warren: "I."
Skipper Pete: "Who's Warren?"
Warren: "I'm One of Four Horsemen."
Death: "But you might know him as War but why are you here? There is no war!"
Warren: "I, not yet but i'm also not the first to come."
Death: "What, who else been here?"
Warren: "Our dear sister Victoria."
Death: "So this is happening?"
Warren: "No. That is why I’m here to give you a warning of the begging of the End of Days."
Death: "Well tell me how it starts so I can try to stop it."
Warren: "With him."
Warren points to Skipper Pete.
Skipper Pete: "Who me, how?"
Warren: "You're one of the big trilogies, well for us anyways!
Death: "What?"
Warren: "Well from what I know is that Asmodeus and Victoria made a deal with Satan to make the Great Prophecy come true."
Death: "Fuck."
Skipper Pete looks over to Death.
Skipper Pete: "Yea, don't worry about it."
Death looks over towards Skipper Pete then back to Warren.
Warren: "Well anyways, Papa Prometheus the VII and Asmodeus had a child, which is the third in this trio, bum da dut."
(Warren pretends to play the drums)
Death: "What does Victoria want out of this?"
Warren: “The Big Four and a few other bands’ vinyl collection and to beat me with a big black dildo."
Skipper Pete: “What an Heavy Metal Dick!”
Death: “So why help us?”
Warren: “Because I owe her $26.95.”
Skipper Pete: “Minecraft?”
Warren: “Yea.”
Skipper Pete: “Why not just pay her?”
Warren: “Single player sucks.”
Skipper Pete: “Dude, you should totally join my Skyblock server!”
Warren: “Ennnnnnh.”
Skipper Pete: “Shhh! Just add me on Skype when you are ready, my username is “More Beautiful than Barbie.”
Warren: “Umm sure, what would be a good time for you?”
Skipper Pete: “Can you do 3 a.m.?”
Warren: “Yeah!”
Death:”Umm you girls done making yawls date?”
Warren “Yeah I think so?”
Death: “Well then, finish telling me why you’re here.”
Warren: “Oh right, well Satan wants to make an album with Skipper Pete, Victoria wants to blast Pantera like a hipster, and Asmodeus wants to start the End of Days.”
Skipper Pete: “That guy’s real?”
Death: “Anything else?”
Warren: “Oh yeah! Some weirdo will steal Skipper Pete from you.”
Death: “What, who would do that?
Warren: “Chuck Green, later!”
Warren throws up jazz hands before exploding into dust and ruble.
Death: “What an asshole!”
Skipper Pete: “Speaking of assholes, I can eat, McQ’s?
Death: “Why not.”
Death opens a portal to McQ’s.
McQ’s Guy: “Nice.”
Skipper Pete: “What’s up my man?”
McQ’s: “We got this now drink called Mnt. Rainbow!”
Death: “Woo, cool, we’ll take two!”
Skipper Pete: “And two California Rolls!”
McQ’s Guy: “Aright, it’ll be out A.S.P...”
Skipper Pete and Death walk to their seats and sit down.
Skipper Pete: “Oh my Cupcakes! That’s Arthur Brown!”
Death: “He’s Chuck Green!
The End
#SkipperPete#Father#Time#Death#Satan#The#Land#OX#TheLandofOx#Episode#Deal#Arthur#Brown#ArthurBrown#TheGodofHellFire#God#Hell#Fire#McQ's#Swag#Yolo#Bull#Shit#BullShit
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Episode VI: Left At The Other Side
Skipper Pete: "That was a hell of a night."
He picks himself up from the gutter, as he gets up he realizes that he some how broke his leg while playing The Miss and Drunken Adventures of Baby Beluga and the Shitonaut (A shit astronaut), he drags himself to The Waffler coffee shop the Dank Café.
Death: "Oh... (pukes) Wooo good times."
Death throw up hits Father Time.
Father Time: "Why is it raining vomit, Waffler may I get a Caffè Macchiato?"
The Waffler: "Why yes sir!"
Death: "Oh can I get some White Queen and a cup of tea?"
Skipper Pete: "Cccan I get some black tea with two sugars and some Indie Candy?
The Waffler: "Coming up."
Death goes over to the table that Skipper Pete is setting at and takes a seat next to him when he notices Skipper Pete's leg.
Death: "Holy shit what happened to your leg? Father Time look at this shit, he broke it in like three places! Hahaha ohh for The Creator shake."
Father Time walks over to check it out.
Father Time: "I can fix that."
Skipper Pete: "Can you please?"
Father Time: "After my Caffè Macchiato."
Death: "Hey guys we should watch how it happened."
Skipper Pete: "And how are we going to do that?"
Father Time: "Death wants me to bring out the SoT."
Skipper Pete: "Sot?"
Death: "The Sands of Time mate!"
Skipper Pete: "That sounds epic as shit, can we, can we please?"
Father Time: "Fine..."
Father Time claps his hands, a few seconds later one of Father Time's Goons comes from a portal.
Father Time's Goon: "What is thy bidding my Lord?"
Father Time: "Bring me the SoT from last night from the Skipper Pete Hour Glass."
Father Time's Goon: "Yes my Lord."
Father Time's Goon walks back into the portal and a few moments later comes back with a tin can of sand.
Father Time: "Set it up for a screening."
Father Time's Goon nods, sets it up and then leaves.
The Waffler: "Hey you go."
Death: "Thanks, just in time, join us, have a seat!"
Skipper Pete: "Yeah, we get to see how I broked my leg!"
The Waffler: "By you guys being assholes, now if you would excuse me."
Father Time: "Damn."
Death: "Let's start the show!"
(Father Time, Death, and Skipper Pete come out of the Niggq Pub.
Father Time: "leedle leedle leedle."
Skipper Pete: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Father Time: "leedle leedle leedle."
Skipper Pete: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Death: "Keep it going, yeah, yeah my name is Todd in German,i'll come for you even if you're
not going bald man!I am the reaper, i'm not a creeper but I can make yo mama the weeper, i'm
kinda like a zoo keeper of dead, yes in fact Ed I do enjoy the reefer, I still rock the beeper
and when it goes beep beep beep i'm being summoned by Time himself, talking about some cunt killed
herself before her time, so he gives me the cash so I ran out and throw some Wizard's fire on her
ass and she burned like a witch so I gilled a few cheese sandwhiches, shit I found the toggle switch,
must of been a glitch, fuck I think I got a jock itch and without a stitch this is the end of my pitch!"
Skipper Pete: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Death: ""leedle leedle leedle."
Skipper Pete: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Death: ""leedle leedle leedle."
Father Time: "I'm the Father, you can call me Pappy and if you misbehave i'll take you before you time,
i'm feeling a bit sappy cause you forgot the thyme, i'm the inventor of french wine..."
Skipper Pete falls over, a blinding light comes and goes. Skipper Pete wakes up with Papa Prometheus the VII
to his right and Cupcakes to his left, Papa Prometheus the VII walks to the other side of the room took off his
hat and lights a cigarette, pacing back and fourth.
Papa Prometheus the VII: "Remember when I saved you from dying? Well i'm going to ask for that help now but I
have to tell you something first and don't get mad I was young and fell for a girl that I would do anything for
and my beliefs at the time were the same as hers, she just has this kinda hold on me, I am sorry Skipper Pete
but it's time to die."
Papa Prometheus the VII drops his cigarette and by the time it hit the floor he was gone with a flash and with the
Skipper Pete starts to pukes blood. Cupcakes moves over by Skipper Pete and lays his head in Skipper Pete lap.
Skipper Pete: "It's okay boy."
Skipper Pete starts to pet Cupcakes's head until they fell asleep.
The sounds of war wake Skipper Pete and Cupcakes, Skipper Pete throws an arm around Cupcakes's neck and walk to the
door to push it open, a man standing in the door way about to knock.
Skipper Pete: "Are you here to kill me?"
Cupcakes at the ready to attack.
Lord MooMoo: "Haha no, nonsence but we must hurry before we lose anymore ground."
Lord MooMoo helps Skipper Pete onto Cupcakes.
Lord MooMoo: "Hold on it's going to be ruff, Waffler, Stick Bitch, let's move!"
Skipper Pete looks over to see a jocked up version Waffler and a man fighting with a stick.
The Waffler: "Why, FUCK OFF SATANIC GOAT COCK SUCKERS!"
Lord MooMoo hops his cow, The Waffler shoots off into the sky with Stick Bitch.
Lord MooMoo: "They'll give us cover while we run to the tree line, I hope you got your Fairy Dust with you.
With a crooked grin.
Skipper Pete: "Always."
Lord MooMoo: "Once we get to the forest stay close to me."
Lord MooMoo's cow runs off with Cupcakes right behind, as they ride they close in on a road block.
Lord MooMoo: "Get your Fairy Dust ready."
Officer #1: "Stop! No one is able to leave."
Lord MooMoo: "My friend and I are just passing by."
Officer #2: "Get of the cow sir and you off the horse."
Lord MooMoo: "And why would I do that?"
Officer #1: "Because we are the law."
Officer #2: "Which means you get to suck our cocks."
Lord MooMoo: "Or..."
Lord MooMoo punches one of the cops and in one swift movement grabs the Fairy Dust and throw it in their faces.
Skipper Pete: "Yea, Fairy Dust fuckers..."
Lord MooMoo: "We're almost there."
Lord MooMoo gets back on his cow and head down the rest of the path. Skipper Pete passes out. With a hard bang
Skipper Pete wakes up to see Lord MooMoo fighting off a pack off some kind of dark animal, Cupcakes ramming
one in the head with his horn and into a tree, Skipper Pete tries to get up but can't, Cupcakes and Lord MooMoo
kill off the rest and come to the aid.
Skipper Pete: "My arms."
Lord MooMoo: "It's okay, just take it easy until I can get you to the healers."
Skipper Pete: "What part of Ox are we at?"
Lord MooMoo: "This is my home land but nevermind that but I do need to tell you about where i'm taking you."
Skipper Pete: "Where?"
Lord MooMoo: "I'm taking you to the Land of Cannibals and Soul Eaters."
Skipper Pete: "The fuck, why would I want to go there?"
Lord MooMoo: "Because they know a magic that can heal anything, they have tells about how you are they're savior."
Skipper Pete: "Still why would I want to go there, they're cannibals and soul suckers."
Lord MooMoo: "But that won't hurt you, come on."
Lord MooMoo grabs Skipper Pete and helps him back onto Cupcakes and he back on his cow.
Lord MooMoo: "Take it slow Cupcakes."
Cupcakes: "(Horse noise)"
Lord MooMoo: "Rest Skipper Pete."
Skiper Pete does as he is told.
Skipper Pete wakes up in a tent of some sort.
Woman: "Lord MooMoo he's up."
Lord MooMoo: "Welcome back Skipper Pete."
Skipper Pete: "Yay I can move my arms!"
Skipper Pete falls back over.
Cannibal Woman: "This is the great savior?"
Skipper Pete: "That's what that guy said but I don't believe him."
Lord MooMoo: "Yes it is but we must get him back to his friends before they find out that he's gone, is The Waffler
here yet?"
Cannibal Woman: "Yes."
Lord MooMoo: "Can you bring him to me?"
Cannibal Woman: "Yes."
The Cannibal Woman walks out the tent and soon after The Waffler walks in.
The Waffler: "Yes, Lord MooMoo?"
Lord MooMoo: "Take him back to your shop and watch over him."
Skipper Pete: "Yay tea for everone!"
The Waffler: "Yes, tea for days."
Lord MooMoo: "Good leave now.)
All the sand in the hour glass fell to the lower half.
Father Time: "Well then..."
Skipper Pete: "Thanks Waffler!"
The Waffler: "You're welcome."
Death: "So umm what are we fighting?"
The Waffler: "We're not sure yet but what ever it is we need Skipper Pete safe for it."
Father Time: "Right so."
The Waffler: "Skipper Pete is 1/3 of a person."
Death: "How can that be? Do we know who the other two are?"
The Waffler: "No but that's what Stick Bitch and Lord MooMoo are trying to find out."
Father Time: "So for now on we have eyes on Skipper Pete..."
Skipper Pete cuts Father Time off.
Skipper Pete: "Or we can go to McQ's and you guys can fuck off because it seems to me that I can be taken
at any moment even if someone is watching me, so later."
Skipper Pete walks out the door and head to McQ's.
Death: "Well he's got a point and I could use some Pussy and Fries, you guys coming?"
Death runs after Skipper Pete and Father Time after Death. They didn't talk on the way there, about 7 minutes later.
McQ's Guy: "Welcome back guys, same food as last time guys?"
Death: "Yea."
McQ's Guy: "Sure thing for here?"
Skipper Pete: "To go."
McQ's Guy: "Sure thing."
Death: "Well Father Time and I are going to have it here, Skipper Pete can I talk to you outside for a sec?"
Skipper Pete: "I guess."
Skipper Pete and Death step out.
Death: "I'll make sure that you get some space for a bit but I'll be back in the morning to check on you, ok?"
Skipper Pete: "Yea and thanks baby."
Death: "Haha no problem."
As they walk back inside Skipper Pete food is ready and he grabs it and goes back to his house.
The End
#Shitonaut#The Miss and Drunken Adventures of Baby Beluga#the land of ox#father time#hitler#The Shining#cupcakes#The Unicorn#Skipper Pete#fariy dust#drugs#asmodeus#death#The Waffler#Pixies#Indiecandy#candy#goon#Lord MooMoo#The Sands of Time#Papa Prometheus the VII#Cannibal#McQ's Guy#McQ's
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Father Time
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Episode V: The Great Prophecy
Papa Prometheus the VII walks next to Asmodeus, hand in hand in a meadow with Poppy Flowers and Orchidaceae all around, there's a small opening in the trees just enough for a beam of sunlight to poke through, them dancing.
Skipper Pete wakes from the dream like state that is The Shining that they share, as he sets down and starts to think of why Papa Prometheus the VII would send him that memory Cupcakes the Unicorn walks in.
Skipper Pete: "Come here boy."
Cupcakes the Unicorn walks over to Skipper Pete, their heads meet.
Cupcakes the Unicorn: "(Horse noise)."
Skipper Pete: "I knows boy."
Cupcakes the Unicorn: "(Horse noise)."
With a load bang Mayo Mouth and Hitler run into Skipper Pete's living room.
Hitler: "Mayo give me back my mayo."
Mayo Mouth: "But it's mine, it has my name on it."
Hitler: "No it is not."
Mayo Mouth: "But it's the rule!"
Hitler: "No it's not..."
Skipper Pete: "Guys!"
Both Hitler and Mayo Mouth look over to Skipper Pete, hearing the sorrow, hear the longing in his voice.
Skipper Pete: "Just chill, come on Hitler I need to go out."
Hitler: "Umm well okay."
Moya Mouth: "Well what about me?"
Skipper Pete: "You can fuck off your jive ass shit."
Skipper Pete and Hitler walk out the house, while Cupcakes looks at Mayo Mouth as if he were dinner.
Hitler: "Where are we going?"
Skipper Pete: "Swegmans."
Hitler: "Why are we going shopping?"
Skipper Pete: "To get your fucking mayo."
As the walk into Swegmans a man wearing a woman's corset, fishnets, black satin gloved arm, and a red condom follows around the store them. Skipper Pete and Hitler get the mayo, pay for it and leave, the man follows them to McQ's.
McQ's Guy: "Welcome back!"
Skipper Pete: "Umm thanks."
McQ's Guy: " What can I get for you two today?"
Hitler: "I'll have a BLT."
Skipper Pete: "A Mama Shit Pie."
McQ's Guy: "Any drinks?"
Hitler: "A Jizz Shake."
Skipper Pete: "Just a Buzzcox."
McQ's Guy: "Alright coming right up guys."
They go and sset down and hear the next order.
McQ's Guy: "Welcome!"
Unknown Person: "I'll have some Vulva Clams and a Buzzcox."
McQ's Guy: "Coming right up, sir..."
The McQ's Guy bring Skipper Pete and Hitler's food and walks away.
Hitler: "So how's Cupcakes?"
SKipper Pete: "Good, look I don't feels like talking right now."
Hitler: "Okay."
As they get done eating Hitler get's a call.
Hitler: "Ello, yes, i'll be right over (hangs up the phone), sorry Skipper Pete but I got to go."
Skipper Pete: "Laters."
Hitler runs off and Skipper Pete goes home. When Skipper Pete gets home he plays some music, he puts on a Dancer Hat (Cancer Bats) album, when Death walks in.
Death: "Dancing in the moonlight will bring a blight and we might never find the light..."
Skipper Pete: "Death what are you singing?"
Death: "Just a song from my human years."
Skipper Pete: "What do you mean by "human years"?"
Death: "It's kinda like a childhood for my kind."
Skipper Pete: "Oh, so what's the song you were singing?"
Death: "It's an old prophecy that the Elder One's made centuries ago but it's nothing to worry about."
Skipper Pete: "Oh okay then."
Death: "What's wrong?"
Skipper Pete: "Nothing, i've just been feel odd since Papa been here."
Death: "We all have, we think he might be a player for another party."
Skipper Pete: "I know that but but I feel better, I feel more whole since he's been here."
Death: "What do you mean?"
Skipper Pete: "Like I was missing something before but now I feel like i'm more human."
Death: "Don't worry about it, you'll be fine."
Skipper Pete: "Okay."
Death: "You just need some rest."
Skipper Pete lays down and Death tuc's him in and then leave. As Skipper Pete falls asleep he enters the Shinning.
Asmodeus: "Come my dear, come here, let us start the End of Days."
Papa Prometheus the VII: "Yes my love."
Asmodeus: "Fuck me here, fuck me now, fuck me all night long!"
Papa Prometheus the VII: "Yes my love!"
With a smile on their face they rip each other clothes off. The moonlight turns a pale red, The Blood Moon begins, as well as the Great Prophecy.
The End.
#the great prophecy#The Keeper#The Unicorn#The monkey of ox#the great force#the land of ox#Skipper Pete#death#father time#cupcakes#Ivan Ershov#Asmodeus#Papa Prometheus the VII#end of days#blood moon#Mayo Mouth#Magic#hitler#fairy dust#drugs#lsd#bad trip#Molly#mollies#dream world#dr. suess#swag#cocaine#baby#jesus
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Episode IV: The Shining
In a circle room are nine hooded/masked and rubbed figures marked with a number or some kind of symbol. The room was dark, only lit by candle light. Skipper Pete ran around the dream like room until he got to a person marked with VII, then he heard what he had feared, a woman figure with a inverted triangle spoke...
Woman w/ Inverted Triangle: "Have you enter the inter circle of the one Skipper Pete?"
Papa Prometheus the VII: "I believe so..."
Woman w/ Inverted Triangle: "What does that mean?!!"
Papa Prometheus the VII: "How things went down the other night, I got them to agree to my trems."
Woman w/ Inverted Triangle: "What did you give them in return?"
Papa Prometheus the VII: "I revived Skipper Pete."
Woman w/ Inverted Triangle: "Why? In the end he must die just like the others! Why didn't you kill them right then and there?"
Papa Prometheus the VII: "Because I can use them to insist with my biddings."
Woman w/ Inverted Triangle: "Very well Papa Prometheus the VII, Ivan lay low for a while."
Ivan: "Should I get ready for the attack when he is done?"
Woman w/ Inverted Triangle: "Just do what must be done IVAN!"
Papa Prometheus the VII: " Umm Asmodeus may I have a word after we are done here."
Asmodeus (Woman w/ Inverted Triangle): "Very well, may we please continue now, Papa Prometheus the VII?"
Papa Prometheus the VII: "Yes my Lord."
Skipper Pete woke up, he looked at the time, it was 3:00am, he got out of bed and ran to the Niggq Pub.
Bartinder: "Who are you, running in here like this?"
Skipper Pete: "Where's Jon Doe?"
Jon Doe: "What is it Skipper Pete?"
Skipper Pete: "Where can I find Death at this hour?"
Jon Doe: "At the busiest time of the Witching Hour, try the Morgue."
Bartinder: "Ay Tummy how bout dem sausages?"
Tummy: "About another two hours Lloyd."
Lloyd (Bartinder): "It was five minutes, an hour ago."
Tummy: "Yolo swag!"
Skipper Pete takes off to the Morgue. When he got to the Morgue he saw Death ordering souls into their own Olerdolana.
Skipper Pete: "DEATH!"
Death: "What is it mate?"
Skipper Pete: "Papas!"
Death: "What about Papa?"
Skipper Pete: "I believes he's working with Ivan."
Death: "What do you mean?"
Skipper Pete: "I had a dream where he was in a room with Ivan and someone named Asmodeus and there were six others."
Death: "What do you mean a dream, wait the name Asmodeus sounds familiar, you said you saw this in a dream?"
Skipper Pete: "Yes!"
Death: "Let's get Father Time, he might know more of what's going on."
Death gets all of the souls and puts them in a jar. Death then rises his staff and teleports to Father Time layer.
After a bit of walking they run into one of Father Time's Goons.
Father Time's Goon: "What can I do for ya Lord Death?"
Death: "I need you to tell me where I can find Father Time."
Father Time's Goon: "He's at his thinking rock."
Death: "Thanks Tom, now get back to work feggen."
Death teleports to a small overgrown village that now looks like a ghost town.
Skipper Pete: "Where are we?"
Death: "We're at the closest spot that I can teleport to because Father Time doesn't like to be bothered when he's here."
Skipper Pete: "So how long is this walk going to be?"
Death: "A little over a mile."
Skipper Pete: "Okay time for some epic walking jams."
Death: "Wot?"
Skipper Pete pulls something for his bag and starts playing some Bonic Soup (Sonic Youth). They walk for most of the album when Death tells Skipper Pete to lower the music.
Death: "Father Time, I come with news of the one called Asmodeus being near."
Father Time: "What do you mean Asmodeus is near?"
Death: "Well i'll let Skipper Pete tell you."
Skipper Pete: "Well you see I had this dream where I was in a circle room with nine hooded/masked and rubed figures, Papa was there and some woman called Asmodeus was there, she was talking to Papa for a bit then she called out to Ivan."
Father Time: "It sounds like he put a shining link in your head."
Skipper Pete: "What's that?"
Death: "He can read your mind and look at the things that you're doing."
Father Time: "But but you can do the same."
Skipper Pete: "Is there a way to get in out my head?"
Death: "Yes and we'll do what ever it takes!"
Father Time: "No! It's going to stay in Skipper Pete."
Death: "Why would we keep the shining in if he's working with Asmodeus and Ivan?"
Father Time: "Because he can see what's on Papa's mind with it in."
Death: "No!"
Father Time does some kind of spell that puts Skipper Pete to sleep. Skipper Pete feels like he's back in a dream, he's at Father Time's "Thinking Rock" he see both Death and Father Time arguing with one another but he can't make out the words, speending light start to run past Skipper Pete's face, he's back at the overgrown village and Papa is waiting for him at the center of it. Skipper Pete runs to him.
Skipper Pete: "What did you do to me? Why are you working with Ivan? Who's Asmodeus?"
Papa Prometheus the VII: "The Shining is for me to show you things that can help you, Ivan is a pawn in a bigger game and as for Asmodeus, she is none of your bussiness."
Skipper Pete: "Why should I trust you?"
Papa Prometheus the VII: "Because you're alive, any questions before I close off my end?"
Skipper Pete: "What all do you know about Father Time and Death, what do they know that I don't, why me of all people, and what is this bigger game you speak of?"
Papa Prometheus the VII: "I can't tell you everything about the so called game but I can give you hints when I can, Father Time and Death have plans for you in the long run but Death no longer wants you to do it, and you of all people because of what you have."
Skipper Pete: "Why do you only come to me in my dreams?"
Papa Prometheus the VII: "Because it's when you're the most safe from my kind."
Papa Prometheus the VII looks over to his left then back to Skipper Pete.
Papa Prometheus the VII: "I must go."
Skipper Pete wakes up in his house, it's now 4:17pm, Death is in the room with him.
Death: "Good you're alive!"
Skipper Pete: "Why wouldn't I?"
Death: "Because the spell Father Time put on you, you need to get something to eat, let's go to McQ's."
Skipper Pete: "Okay."
Death and Skipper Pete walk to Ox's Town Center, when they run into Scott.
Scott: "Yo I heard you haven some kinda problems."
Death: "Yeah but it's none of your worries so piss off."
Scott: "Yo bitch I ain't taken no shit from you punk as nigga."
Death: "Look Scott i'm not in the mood so can you please not?"
Skipper Pete see the Monkey of Ox run on over. He's starts to pet him, he tells him.
Skipper Pete: "Run off Scott for my little Monkeyman."
Skipper Pete gives the Monkey of Ox some Fairy Dust, the Monkey of Ox does what Skipper Pete ask him to do and runs off Scott.
Death: "And now we can get to McQ's in peace."
Skipper Pete: "Are we friends, like real friends?"
Death: "Yes, you grown on me the past month or so."
They walk into McQ's.
McQ's Guy: "Welcome back Skipper Pete and Death!"
Skipper Pete: "Hey McQ's Guy!"
McQ's Guy: "Should I get you the Fish Dicks?"
(Death & Skipper Pete): "Yes with our Buzzcox Cola."
McQ's Guy: "Coming right up guys."
They walk to their set.
Skipper Pete: "Death when Father Time put that spell on me, Papa came to me and told me everything."
Death: "What you mean?"
Skipper Pete: "He told me that there's a war coming soon."
Death: "Well Father Time is trying for that not to happen."
The McQ's Guy walks over with their food.
McQ's Guy: "Here you go guys."
Death: "Thanks, here you go mate."
McQ's Guy: "Thanks for the tip."
Death: "No problem."
The McQ's Guy walks off.
Skipper Pete: "What happens if he can't?"
Death: "Then we go to war."
Skipper Pete: "Is that why i'm here, to die in his war?"
Death: "Father Time believes that if we have to, you can stop it as soon as it begins."
Skipper Pete: "But this is a war with Ivan that he talks about, who is this Asmodeus person?"
Death: "Someone who is very powerful, go spend time with Molly and i'll tell you about Asmodeus when you get another shining dream, okay."
Skipper Pete: "Okay."
They eat their food and Skipper Pete heads to Molly's house.
Skipper Pete: "Molly!"
Molly: "Baby."
They hug...
Skipper Pete: "You wanna just watch some movies until we can watch the sun set?"
Molly: "Yes!"
Skipper Pete: "What movie should we watch?"
Molly: "Psycho Holiday."
Skipper Pete and Molly watch Psycho Holiday together in bed holding each other tight. About 2 hours later the sun is starting to set, so they go on the hill to watch it set.
Molly: "It's so beautiful baby."
A minute or two later.
Skipper Pete: "I love yous Molly."
Molly: "I love you too."
They kiss and go back to Molly's house.
The End
#Skipper Pete#The Keeper#The monkey of ox#The Unicorn#the land of ox#cupcakes#father time#death#episode#Papa Prometheus the VII#Molly#mollies#Mayo Mouth#drugs#lsd#fairy dust#McQ's Guy#the shining#Buzzcox Cola#Asmodeus#Ivan Ershov#pimpkin bongo#psycho holiday#pantera#jim#jimbox#jimboxofox
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Episode III: Time Warped
"(Father Time steps back into the portal...
Skipper Pete: "What did you say to her?!"
Father Time: "It's nothing to worry about."
Molly waves goodbye before the portal closed, Skipper Pete didn't wave back.
Skipper Pete: "WHERE ARE WE GOING?"
Father Time: "Into the future."
Skipper Pete: "Why?"
Father Time: "To save something that could be lost."
Skipper Pete: "What are you talking ABOUT?!")
Skipper Pete called his friends over for he needed help.
Death: "Just wear robes."
Hitler: "What about bundhosen?"
Skipper Pete: "No!"
Cupcakes: "(Unicorn noises.)"
SKipper Pete: "Great idea Cupcakes!"
Death: "Sure, when the beast suggest robes it okay."
Skipper Pete: "Death?"
Death: "Yes?"
Skipper Pete: "Where can I gets some robes?"
Death: "Ugh, c'mon on."
(Skipper Pete: "Why are we wearing these disguises and why are we hiding in a robe store?"
Father Time: "We're looking for something, that and to keep you guys safe."
Skipper Pete: "You guys?"
Father Time: "How could I forget?!"
Skipper Pete: "Are you okay?"
Father Time: "Yes, I just need to make a call. Stay here and don't let anyone see you."
Father Time goes into a portal.
Skipper Pete: "Did you fix it?"
Father Time: "Yes.")
Death: "Are you bout ready?"
Skipper Pete: "Yea baby."
Father Time steps out of a portal...
Father Time: "Death can I talk to you for a moment?"
Death: "Can it hurry?"
Father Time: "Come on."
Father Time and Death step out of Skipper Pete's house.
Hitler: "So how's your Ep coming?"
Skipper Pete: "It was goins great until Jim left."
Hitler: "What the hell, do I need to gas a mother fucker?"
Skipper Pete: "It's chill Adolf, no worries."
Hitler: "So who's singing now?"
Skipper Pete: "Me."
Hitler: "Good, your voice is like umm a hand scratching a chalkboard."
Skipper Pete: "I know, i'm gunna try and get Krist to sing for me."
Hitler: "Novoselic, his voice is like that of an angel."
Father Time and Death walk back into the room.
Death: "Ummm McQ's anyone?
Hitler: "How about Papa Rick's Cripsy Chinken?"
Skipper Pete: "It's to op."
Hitler: "True, McQ's it is."
Father Time: "I'll meet you guys there."
Father Time step into a portal.
(Father Time steps out of the portal.
Skipper Pete: "So did you get your thingy?"
Father Time: "Yes, did you see anything when I was away?"
Skipper Pete: "No, why?"
Father Time: "Just keep an eye out for people like Ivan."
Skipper Pete "Okay?"
Father Time goes back into the portal.)
McQ's Guy: "Now is the Father with you guys as well?"
Death: "Father when did you get here?"
McQ's Guy: "He just teleported in here."
Father Time: "I'll have the Vulva Clams."
McQ's Guy: "Would you like crackers and a BuzzCox Cola with that as well sir?"
Father Time: "Do you have and Box Beer?"
McQ's Guy: "Yes we do."
Everybody goes and sits down. A few minutes later the McQ's Guy brings them their food. They're enjoying it until
they hear...
Unknown Woman: "HELP!"
Unknown Man#2: "Shut up!"
Unknown Man#1: "Don't talk to my wife that way, Helen i'll save you!"
Skipper Pete: "We should go help thems."
Father Time: "Yes we should but I have some other bussiness to deal with, Death take care of the "goods"."
Death: "Got you."
Father Time walks into another portal. By this time Hitler's already out the door.
Hitler: "Come on!"
Skipper Pete and Death follow behind.
Hitler: "What's going on here?"
Unknown Guy#2: "Just doing what my boss told to do, so fuck off!"
Hitler: "Well who do you work for?"
Unknown Guy#2: "I work for Jim at Papa Rick's Crispy Chicken."
Unknown Guy#1: "Well are you guys going to help us, this man is going to cook us!"
Death: "Well they are The Creator most cherished creature."
Unknown Guy#1: "And..."
Helen: "Shut up Cox."
Dr. Cox: "Are you forgetting something?"
Helen: "Sorry "Dr.Cox"."
Hitler: "Go get your boss kid."
Papa Rick's Employee: "Sure thing Mr. Mayor!"
A few moments later the Papa Rick's Employee and his boss comes out.
Skipper Pete: "Jim?!"
Jim: "Oh my, Skipper Pete, Death, Hilter! What are you guys doing here?"
Hitler: "What business do you have with these Talking Chickens?"
Jim: "Cooking them."
Hitler: "Do you not know that the Talking Chicken is the Creators' favorite love?"
Jim: "Yes, yes I do."
Hitler: "So why are you cooking them?"
Jim: "Because it is what makes my chicken so good."
Hitler: "Very well then, you're lucky I enjoy it."
The Papa Rick's Employee picks up the two Talking Chickens and breaks their neck.
Death: "We should go get your robes now Skipper Pete."
Hitler: "Yeah let's go!"
Skipper Pete: "I hope they have one in purple."
A few moments later they show up at the robe store.
(Skipper Pete: "Father is that Death and Hitler and me?"
Father Time: "Why yes it is, you see Skipper Pete we're in a "rip"."
Skipper Pete: "What's a "rip"?"
Fater Time: "A "rip" happens when a great force enters into a dimension and I fear that this force is that of
a prime evil and I believe that "it" might be working with Ivan."
Skipper Pete: "B-b-but why is there twos of me?"
Father Time: "Because of the "rip".
Skipper Pete: "Can it get fixed?"
Father Time: "Hurry we must move before you guys get over here but yes it can be fixed if we can kill this great force."
Skipper Pete: "How can we do it?"
Father Time: "I'm not sure...")
Hitler: "Death how do you think this one would look on Skipper Pete?"
Skipper Pete: "ooo Shit Green not bad."
Death: "How about these?"
Hitler: "Why white?"
Death: "Class."
Skipper Pete looks down at his watche.
Skipper Pete: "GUY IT'S ALMOST 8:00pm!"
Hitler: "White it is then!"
They run at the store.
RubesBot: "You shit sucker need to pay."
Hitler: "Put it on my tab!"
They run around the block when Death teleports everyone back to Hitlers' house.
Death: "Hurry you need to get Molly in ten minutes!"
Skipper Pete throws on the robe.
Skipper Pete: "Cans you tp me to her house?!!"
Death: "Yes!"
Death teleports Skipper Pete to the place where Molly is staying.
Skipper Pete goes and knocks on Molly door.
Molly: "Skipper Pete you came! Have you ever been to the à Deux la Porte Cinéma?
Skipper Pete: "Never heard of it..."
Skipper Pete and Molly arrive at the à Deux la Porte Cinéma...
Director Führer Zidler: "Welcome, welcome to the à Deux la Porte Cinéma, where the logic mind comes to die and I dreams come alive!"
Skipper Pete: "Ooo it's so colorful heres..."
Molly: "I know!"
Director Führer Zidler: "Hello my dears, I can be your guide for a pretty price."
Molly: "No thanks Führer, this isn't my first show."
Director Führer Zidler: "Ah Molly, how could I ever forget your face, who's your friend?"
Molly: "This is Skipper Pete, a man that words could do him no good."
Director Führer Zidler: "So he's that kind of guy?"
Molly: "Yes."
Skipper Pete: "Nice to meet you Director Führer Zidler!"
Director Führer Zidler: The pleasure is all mine Skipper Pete, no has ever tamed The Great Molly Kelly!"
Molly: "Führer stop now!"
Director Führer Zidler: "Yes my dear."
Molly, Director Führer Zidler, and Skipper Pete walk into the à Deux la Porte Cinéma.
Mayo Mouth: "Look at all of this Mayo, I can't wait to rub it all over my body tonight! Oh my... Is that you Skipper Pete?"
Skipper Pete: "Yyyeah, wwwwhat are you doing here?"
Mayo Mouth: "Buying the best Mayo around and you?
Molly: "We're on a date, so if you could fuck off already, that would be great or I could get Führer to take care of you."
Mayo Mouth: "You can't, Hitler is here to get a gift for someone."
Skipper Pete: "Sounds great, where is he?"
Mayo Mouth: "Over there by her."
Skipper Pete: "Director Führer Zidler if you would do what Molly asks you that would be great!"
Director Führer Zidler: "Anything for the Great Molly Tamer!"
Molly: "Enjoy yourself Führer with Mayo."
Skipper Pete walks over to Hitler...
Skipper Pete: "What are you doing here?"
Hitler: "Making sure all goes well, we're all here."
Skipper Pete: "Why? What would happen?"
Hitler: "Father Time told me not to tell you but "The Great Force" is here, so be carefull."
Skipper Pete: "Thanks."
Hitler: "And keep an eye on Mayo Mouth, he's been talking to some odd people."
Skipper Pete: "I think Molly got Director Führer Zidler to take care of him."
Hitler: "Still watch out."
Skipper Pete: "Okay thanks bbbbaby."
Hitler: "No problem."
Skipper Pete walks back over to Molly.
Skipper Pete: "Back guys."
Molly: "You ready for this to happen?"
Skipper Pete: "Yes."
Director Führer Zidler: "Good because the show is about to start."
Molly: "This way Skipper Pete."
Molly and Skipper Pete go to take their sets. Director Führer Zidler takes the stage.
Director Führer Zidler: "Welcome my guests, we're going to have the best show to date! And let the show go on!"
After about an hour the Intermission starts.
Molly: "Well what did you think about it so far?"
Skipper Pete: "Hypnotizing!:"
Molly: "So you like it?"
Skipper Pete: "No, I loves it!"
As Molly and Skipper Pete are about to kiss a man with a pumpkin on his head runs on stage...
Pumpkin Bongo: "Skipper Pete where is you be?"
Molly: "I love you Skipper Pete."
Skipper Pete: "Get down."
Ivan come in form behind... Father Time, Death, and Hitler all go for the Pumpkin Bongo but fail doing so because of
Ivan.
Ivan: "Skipper Pete I have you now, no one can help you, the Pumpkin Bongo will kill your friends and Cupcakes if you don't
come with me."
Skipper Pete: "Okay, i'll go."
Ivan: "Very good."
At that very moment a man teleports out of no where and gets into an epic fight with the Pumpkin Bongo, Skipper Pete throws
Fairy Dust at Ivan, as Ivan goes down he throws a knife in Skipper Petes heart... Everyone runs over to see what they can do.
Molly: "Father can you undo this?"
Father Time: "I'm sorry Molly but I don't have the power to do this alone."
Molly: "Death you have to do something!"
Death: "I can't, it's not in my control, I can only take life, not give it back, i'm sorry."
Molly gives and starts to cry.
The Great Force: "I might be able to help if Father Time will work with me."
Father Time: "Why would I work with someone like you?"
The Great Force: "Because you and I can save this man's life if you give me your word that you will help me."
Father Time: "With?"
Molly: "I don't care, we'll help you just save Skipper Pete!"
The Great Force and Father Time start to do a ritual that not many people have seen living or dead, a few minutes later
Skipper Pete sits up...
Molly: "You're okay!"
Father Time looks at the Great Force and back at Skipper Pete...
Father Time: "Death, Hitler we need to talk."
Father Time, Death, and Hitler walk out.
Skipper Pete: "Molly what happened?"
Molly: "Ivan throw a knife into your heart and this man saved you."
Skipper Pete: "Who are you?"
Papa Prometheus the VII: "Just call me Papa."
The End"
#The monkey of ox#the land of ox#hitler#Skipper Pete#father time#portals#time warps#the great force#pimpkin bongo#death#Papa Prometheus the VII#drugs#kinky#sexy#sexy sex sex time#Ivan Ershov#Director Führer Zidler#Fariy Dust#Deux la Porte Cinéma
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This is the main concept idea for Hitler, i'm working on a better one but this will have to do for now.
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Episode II: For When The Bell Toll
"Skipper Pete woke from bells being rung. So he rolls out of bed and goes outside. It was a foggy morning Adolf was near the town center meeting with other towns’ people, so Skipper Pete choses to find Death or Father Time (Whomever he runs into first). Panic and chaos is every where…
Father Time: “Skipper Pete there you are, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
Skipper Pete: “Well I’ve been looking for you, what’s going on here?”
Father Time: “The time has come…”
Skipper Pete: “What do you mean?”
Father Time: “Meaning he is here.”
Skipper Pete: “Who?”
Father Time rises his staff and teleports to the docks of the bay.
Skipper Pete: “What are we doing here?”
Father Time: “Waiting for him to come.”
Skipper Pete: “For who to come, GOD DAMNIT.”
Father Time: “Dr. Skrilliam.”
Skipper Pete: “Who is that?”
Father Time: “He’s our water tech guy and he’s also bring over our troops.”
Skipper Pete: “So when is he getting here?”
Father Time: “Any minute now.”
About two minutes later a Viking ship came into view. Dr. Skrilliam and his crew came down to meet with Father Time.
Father Time: “Alright just keep cool. Ah, Dr. Skrilliam it’s good to see you once again.”
Dr. Skrilliam: “And you as well Father. And who is your friend?”
Father Time: “This is Skipper Pete, Skipper Pete meet Dr. Skrilliam.”
Dr. Skrilliam and Skipper Pete shook hands.
Father Time: “And who did you bring with you?”
Dr. Skrilliam: “Well i’ve have bring The Waffler, do you remember Dildo McGee?”
Father Time: “Dildo yes I remember him!”
Dr. Skrilliam: “I also have Jon Doe, the Maxwell brothers Lucas and Scott, Molly Kelly, and Andre Jackson with me.”
Father Time: “Dr. Skrilliam we need to talk in private for a moment.”
Dr. Skrilliam : “Alright let’s go for a walk.”
Father Time and Dr. Skrilliam walk off.
Skipper Pete: “So how’s it going guys?”
Scott: “Yo shut da fuck up bum ass nigga.”
Andre: “There no need for that Scott right now we need each other.”
Lucas: “We can’t fight right now let’s just get this shit done and then we can go back to our lives.”
Scott, Lucas, and Andre get into a fight while Molly gets to know Skipper Pete.
Skipper Pete: “Molly you have pretty eyes.”
Molly: “Haha. Thank you. I like your hair.”
Skipper Pete: “You do?”
Molly: “Yes….”
Death teleported in the between them.
Death: “Skipper Pete where’s Father Time?”
Skipper Pete: “H-h-he went to talk to some doctor guy.”
Death: “Fack. Alright then so fack.”
Molly: “Do you mind if I have him back? Death.”
Death: “Umm oh yea, sure.”
Molly: “Yay.”
As Molly and Skipper Pete were about to start talking again Father Time and Dr. Skrilliam came back to the docks.
Father Time: “Oh good you’re here Death.”
Death: “Yes I am and so is Dr. Skrilliam.”
Dr. Skrilliam: “I know we have a history you and I but we need each other’s help on this one.”
Death: “We don’t need your help we have Skipper Pete, you don’t know what that kid can do…”
Father Time: “Look Death we need them as they need us.”
Skipper Pete: “What do you mean?”
Father Time: “I can’t tell you at the moment because we are not for sure yet.”
Death: “Than why are we here?”
Skipper Pete: “Yea, I mean like I could be doing other things besides meeting new people baby.”
Molly: “Hey!”
Skipper Pete: “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Father Time: “Well any ways we’re just going to play it safe until we are sure.”
Dr. Skrilliam: “Well until next time my friends.”
Death: “We’re not friends.”
Dr. Skrilliam: “Well I think we should go, come on people.”
Father Time rise staff to teleport Death, Skipper Pete, and himself back to Hitler’s office.
Hitler: “Father Time do we have there help?”
Father Time: “Yes we do.”
Death: “Skipper Pete do you want to get out of here?”
Skipper Pete: “Yea baby.”
So Death and Skipper Pete walk out of Hitler’s office.
Mayo Mouth: “I just got my package. Do you wanna know what it is?
Skipper Pete and Death: “Fuck no!!!”
Mayo Mouth: “Well it’s a Mayo Stick.”
Death: “A what?”
Mayo Mouth: “A Mayo Stick, it’s kinda like Lip Stick but it’s made of Mayo.”
Skipper Pete: “Fuck this I am out of here.”
Skipper Pete and Death walk to McQ’s.
McQ’s Guy: “May I help you guys?”
Death: “Yeah i’ll have the pussy and fries.”
Skipper Pete: “And I woulds like the crabs and a side of cupcakes.”
McQ’s Guy: “And for your drinks?”
Skipper Pete: “I want the Buzzcock Cola.”
Death: “Me too.”
McQ’s Guy: “Alrighty I have the pussy and fries with a Buzzcock Cola for you and crabs with a side of cupcakes with another Buzzcock Cola, is there anything else I can get for you guys?”
Death: “I’m fine.”
Skipper Pete: “Yes I will also like some pound cake with a cherry Buzzcock Cola. (Looks over to Death) What it’s for Cupcakes.”
Death: “Nothing.”
McQ’s Guy: “So that will be all?”
Skipper Pete and Death: “Yes.”
McQ’s Guy: “It will be right out.”
Death and Skipper Pete sits down at the spot.
McQ’s Guy: “Alright here you go guy’s.”
Death: “Thanks mate have a good one.”
McQ’s Guy: “Sure, you too.”
McQ’s Guy walks away.
Death: “So you like Molly.”
Skipper Pete: “No I don’t…”
Death: “Don’t lie boy.”
Skipper Pete: “So what if I do?”
Death: “So you going to ask her to go with you?”
Skipper Pete: “No.”
Death: “Why not mate?”
Skipper Pete: “Just look at me.”
Death: “Clean up then.”
Skipper Pete: “I have nothing to wear though.”
Death: “I got your back.”
Skipper Pete goes to get a refill of BuzzCock Cola.
McQ’s Guy: “What can I get for you?”
Skipper Pete: “Just a refill.”
Skipper Pete hands over his cup.
McQ’s Guy: “Alright here you go.”
Skipper Pete: “Thanks Mr. Q.”
McQ’s Guy: “Wait you want to find out how I can give you a discount every time you come in?
Skipper Pete: “You know it baby.”
McQ’s Guy: “Alright, all you have to do is swallow the cinnamon.”
McQ’s Guy pulls out a spoon full cinnamon. Skipper Pete looks at it for a second or two. The he goes nose down and snorts the cinnamon in one go. (As most people would say like a boss but Skipper Pete is to cool to be a mother fucker boss. Well I guess back to the story.)
McQ’s Guy: “Holy shit no one has ever done anything like that. For now on you can have free food when you come in.
Skipper Pete: “Fuck yea baby.”
Skipper Pete walks back to his table.
Skipper Pete: “Death I get free food here now bitch!”
Death: “What! How?”
Skipper Pete: “Well I just snorted a spoon full of cinnamon.”
Death: You and that facking vacuum nose of yours. Way to go.”
Skipper Pete and Death are walking out the door of McQ’s.
McQ’s Guy: “Alright see you guy’s later.”
Death: “Yup.”
Skipper Pete: “Where to now?
Death: “We’re going to get you cleaned the fack up bitch.”
Skipper Pete” Why?”
Death: “So you can ask Molly out.”
Skipper Pete: “But when we talk I get butterflies.”
Death: “(Hahaha) Butterflies are so facking metal.”
Skipper Pete: “What do you mean butterflies are metal.”
Death: “Well butterflies drink blood and piss!”
Skipper Pete: “That’s pretty bad ass but I don’t want them in my tummy.”
Skipper Pete and Death walk into Bumbo’s.
Skipper Pete: “Where are we?”
Death: “We’re at Bumbo’s the best robes shop in the land.”
Skipper Pete: “Oh, okay.”
Death: “Well let’s find a color that works for you.”
Skipper Pete: “Alright…”
Death: “I think white would work for you best.”
Skipper Pete: “Okay.”
Death goes to get the robes for Skipper Pete went back to his house to feed Cupcakes.
Death teleports to Skipper Pete’s house.
Death: “Alright Skipper Pete call Molly up.”
Skipper Pete: “Alright.”
Skipper Pete goes into his room to call Molly.
Molly: “Ummm, who is this?”
Skipper Pete: “It’s me Skipper Pete.”
Molly: “Oh hey!”
Skipper Pete: “Yea I was wondering if you wanted to go have dinner with me tonight?”
Molly: “Sure, I didn’t have any plans for tonight.”
Skipper Pete: “Alright what time do you want to meet up?”
Molly: “Ummm, how about 8:00?
Skipper Pete: “8:00 sounds great i’ll see you at 8:00 then, wait where do I meet you at?
Molly: “I’m on the boat where we first meet at.”
Skipper Pete: “Okay I’ll see you at 8:00.
Molly: “Alright I’ll go get ready.”
Skipper Pete: “Alright bye.”
Molly: “Bye Skipper Pete.”
Skipper Pete: “DEATH! She said yes!”
Death: “I told you.”
Skipper Pete: “What do I do now?”
Death: “Well how long do you have?”
Skipper Pete: “Until 8:00.”
Death: “Mother fucker it facking 7:30. So you need to get in the shower, clean your asshole and put on those robes. And I’ll teleport you to her.”
Skipper Pete: “Okay, thanks Death.”
Death: “Go!”
About 15 minutes later Skipper Pete comes out all dressed up.
Death: “You look like a dick.”
Skipper Pete: “Do I? I need to put on something else?”
Death: “No. You’re fine.”
Skipper Pete: “I do?”
Death: “Yes, alright let’s go.
Death teleports Skipper Pete and himself to the Docks to meet Molly.
Death: “Now remember be yourself and you should be fine.”
Skipper Pete: “Okay.”
Death: “Fack we forgot flowers. I’ll be back.”
Death teleports away to get some flowers and is back within five or so minutes.
Skipper Pete: “That was fast.”
Death: “I know here is the rose.”
Skipper Pete: “Thanks Death.”
Death: “See ya.”
Skipper Pete goes to get Molly.
Molly: “(Hahaha) You look nice.”
Skipper Pete: “I’m sorry.”
Molly: “It’s okay.”
Skipper Pete hands her the rose.
Molly: “Thanks.”
Molly kisses Skipper Pete on the side of his face.
Skipper Pete: “You wanna walk?”
Molly: “Sure.”
Skipper Pete: “So what do you like?”
Molly: “I like art and plants and stuff.”
Skipper Pete: “Where would you like to eat?”
When Molly is about to speak Father Time teleported to Skipper Pete seeking his help.
Father Time: “Skipper Pete I’ve been looking for you!”
Skipper Pete: “What is it?”
Father Time: “We have reason to believe that Ivan is out to kill Hitler.”
Skipper Pete: “But why do you need me?”
Father Time: “Because you know how to get rid of him for a bit of time.”
Molly: “Does he have to go?”
Father Time: “Yes, Skipper Pete jump into the portal I’ll be there in a second.”
Skipper Pete: “Okay.”
Skipper Pete walks into the portal and hears Father Time telling Molly something.
The End"
#For When The Bell Toll#The monkey of ox#the land of ox#The Unicorn#kinky#portals#father time#death#Skipper Pete#Boat and hoes#Molly#mollies#Grim reaper#Rubes#drugs#lsd#acid trip#episode#2#Dr. Skrilliam#tech guy#viking ship#The Waffler#Waffles#southern#South#Waffle Maker#Syrup#Butter#Swag
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Alright so some of you might already know but this is "The Monkey of Ox" and I don't recall writing him in the story yet but a friend and I agreed that he should be "hidden" in every episode...
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Episode I: The Beginning
Skipper Pete wakes up wondering what he going to do today. So he goes and over dose on cocaine.
Dr.1: “What’s going on?”
Dr.2: “He od.”
Dr.1: “Do we know on what yet?”
Dr.2: “No.”
About two or so hours later…
Father Time: “Skipper Pete i’m going to take you away from here.”
Skipper Pete: “Wwwwhat?”
Father Time rose his staff to the sky and banged it hard against the ground, taking them both to the Land of Ox.
Skipper Pete: “What is this pla, whats wrong with my voice?”
Father Time: “Something must have went wrong when we left, nothing big.”
Skipper Pete: “So what is it going to stay like this forever?”
Father Time: “Maybe, who knows.”
Skipper Pete: “Wwwwhy?”
Father Time: “Well this here is the Land of Ox.”
Skipper Pete: “It’s so pretty, it reminds me of LSD.”
Father Time: “Yeah I know isn’t it great, well Hitler the Mayor of the town…”
Skipper Pete: “WHAT THE FUCK HITLER’S THE MAYOR?”
Father Time: “Yeah he’s pretty cool, have you seen some of his artwork?”
Skipper Pete: “No because he’s a FUCKING NAZI.”
Father Time: “No that was him in the other world, your old world.”
Skipper Pete: “Well I don’t like him.”
Father Time: “Fine then, there is a monkey with a box on its head and he has a third eye on his tail, do not and I won’t say it agian do not fuck with that monkey.”
Skipper Pete: “Wwwwwhy?”
Father Time: “Because he will fuck your shit up.”
Skipper Pete: “What if I threw some PCP in his face?”
Father Time: “That might work. Well now let us go and see Hitler.”
Skipper Pete: “Do we have to?”
Father Time: “Yes we do.”
Skipper Pete: “Fine then.”
Father Time: “Alright here we go.”
Skipper Pete: “What the fuck is going on?”
Father Time: “Well we are teleporting.”
Hitler: “Hey Father Time who’s the new guy?”
Father Time: “This is the guy we been looking for.”
Hitler: “I see, let’s talk else where.”
Father Time: “Yes we should, Mayo Mouth come and meet Skipper Pete, get him what ever it is that he might need.”
Mayo Mouth: “But I need more mayo.”
Hitler & Father Time: “I don’t give a fuck just do it.”
Skipper Pete: “Is there anyone else? I don’t like mayo.”
Father Time: “Yeah let me get Death.”
Skipper Pete: “Wwwwhat?”
Father Time: “Don’t worry he’s pretty cool.”
Father Time raised his staff and hit the bottom of the staff against the floor and Death arose.
Death: “Hey Father Time what do you need me for this time?”
Father Time: “Just to chill with Skipper Pete.”
Death: “Really i’m the MASTER OF THE DEAD AND I HAVE TO FUCKING BABY SIT?”
Father Time: “Yes but he might be the one.”
Death: “Oh okay then.”
Skipper Pete: “Wait what are you guy’s talking about?”
Father Time: “Ummm, well you see…”
Father Time raised his staff and hit the bottom of the staff against the floor and teleported out of the room.
Skipper Pete: “What the fuck man.”
Death: “Chill out man.”
Skipper Pete: “Why, I just left the only home I have ever known, I think I dead to.”
Death: “No you didn’t die other wise I would have been there. But noo Father Time just had to go and save you for some
Reason I do not know.”
Skipper Pete: “Soooo what is there to do around here then?”
Death: “Not much really.”
Father Time and Hitler teleported back into the room.
Father Time: “So you’re in.”
Hitler: “Let me show you to your house Pete.”
Skipper Pete: “Cunt that is not my name, i’m Skipper Pete baby.”
Hitler: “Haha. Guys can’t be cunt just women.”
Skipper Pete: “Well the late and great Cobain once said that guys can be cunts as well.”
Hitler: “Fine then you win this time Skipper Pete let us get out of here. So your house is over here by the Baby
Making Tree.”
Skipper Pete: “Is that, oh I don’t want to know.”
Hitler: “Yeah, so you’re free to do what ever it is you want.”
Skipper Pete threw a hand full of fairy dust into Hitlers face.
Hitler: “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?”
Hitler falls to the floor.
Skipper Pete: “It be some FAIRY DUST nigga.”
Skipper Pete walks off looking for Death. About an hour later.
Skipper Pete: “Hey Death do you want, no wait is there an old folks home?”
Death: “Yeah, why?”
Skipper Pete: “I was wondering if you would like to go and fuck with some old people?”
Death: “Sure. Why not? It’s not like I have anything better to do. What’s the plan?”
Skipper Pete: “I’m just going to run in saying you’re after me.”
Death: “Wow. Okay let’s do it.”
Skipper Pete: “Yea baby.”
Death then teleports Skipper Pete and himself to an old folks home.
Skipper Pete: “Are you ready?”
Death: “Yeah.”
Skipper Pete bust the doors down. Running as fast as he can, yelling.
Skipper Pete: “OH SHIT DEATH IS AFTER MMMMMEEEEEEEEEE.”
Random Old Person #1: “AHHHHHHHHHH…”
Death: “I’m going to get you, you SON OF A BITCH.”
Random Old Person #2: “Keeper of the gates take me with you. I want to be with you forever
please take me with you. You are my only true love…”
Death: “What The Fuck? Skipper Pete I am going to take your soul.”
Skipper Pete: “Go ahead and try.”
Random Old Person #1: “I need to talk to Hitler about this bull shit.”
Skipper Pete trips on something and falls to the floor.
Death: “Yes I win Skipper Pete.”
Skipper Pete: “Nooooo.”
Death: “Do you want to go again? There is another one down the way.”
Skipper Pete: “Yeah, why not baby.”
Ivan Ershov: “So this was a game to yous? My mother is dying for real and this faggot here is
fucking around with her head by saying you are trying to kill him. Why is this Death?
Death: “Well Skipper Pete and I were bored.”
Ivan Ershov: “Bored this is why?”
Skipper Pete gets up from where he had fallen and throws a hand full of fairy dust into
Ivan face.
Ivan Ershov: “FUCK YOU SKIPPER PETE.”
Skipper Pete: “Yea baby…”
Death: “So we’re good to go now?”
Skipper Pete: “Yeah, but I don’t want to anymore.”
Death: “Ummm, do you want to get a bite to eat?”
Skipper Pete: “Yeah why not baby, what is there to eat tho?”
Death: “You know McQ’s, Five Homo’s you know shit like that.”
Skipper Pete: “I never been to McQ’s before.”
Death: “Alright then let’s go.”
Death and Skipper Pete walked to McQ’s about five to ten minutes later they were there.
McQ’s Guy: “Hello there may I take your order?”
Death: “Yes I would like the Pussy (Cat) and Chips.”
McQ’s Guy: “And you?”
Skipper Pete: “Ummm, I guess the Fish and Chips.”
McQ’s Guy: “Coming right up.”
About ten minutes later the food was down so they went to set down and eat.
Skipper Pete: “The Fish and Chips are epic.”
Death: “Yeah I know but you should try the pussy.”
Skipper Pete: “Maybe next time.”
Death: “But yeah…”
A ringing start to come from some where.
Death: “Fuck me, every time I sit to eat.”
Skipper Pete: “What’s going on?”
Death: “I have to go out for some souls. That’s all.”
Skipper Pete: “So I guess we’ll chill later then?”
Death: “Yeah, well I got to go.”
Death teleports out of McQ’s.
Skipper Pete: “I’m all lone ain’t got no home…”
McQ’s Guy: “Can’t you read, no singing. Get the fuck out of here.”
Skipper Pete: “Well fuck you too.”
Skipper Pete leaves the store. And run’s into Ivan.
Ivan Ershov: “You again.”
Skipper Pete: “Yeah what do you want?”
Ivan Ershov: “I want you gone. Out of my town.”
Skipper Pete: “Well that’s to damn bad.”
Ivan Ershov: “Oh just wait Skipper Pete.”
Skipper Pete: “Okay well i’m gunna go to my house now to take a nap.”
Ivan Ershov: “What. Why are you telling me this?”
Skipper Pete: “Because i’m Skipper Pete and I don’t give a shit for you.”
Ivan Ershov: “Just wait you faggot.”
Skipper Pete walked away and headed home.
Hitler: “Hey Skipper Pete what did you throw in my face?”
Skipper Pete: “Just some Fairy Dust.”
Hitler: “Thank you. I haven’t painted like that in a long time.”
Skipper Pete: “You’re welcome I guess.”
Hitler: “May I have some more?”
Skipper Pete: “Sure. Why not.”
Hitler: “Thank you so much.”
Skipper Pete then throws more fairy dust into Hitlers face. So Skipper Pete walks into his house.
(Skipper Pete): “Now I can rest for a bit.”
About 2 to 3 hours later.
Father Time: “Hey Skipper Pete are you ok?”
Skipper Pete: “Yeah i’m fine.”
Father Time: “Well get up and get ready.”
Skipper Pete: “For what?”
Father Time: “We have to go help Death.”
Skipper Pete: “Alight.”
Father Time and Skipper Pete teleported to Death.
Skipper Pete: “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?”
Death: “We don’t know.”
Skipper Pete: “Sweet can I name it then?”
Father Time: “Sure. Why not, just stop it.”
Skipper Pete: “Okay let me see this and this.”
Death: “Ummm, ok.”
Skipper Pete gets up and runs down the plain with fairy dust at the ready. He jumps into the air with such grace and
throws the fairy dust into the monsters face.
Death: What the fuck man.”
Father Time: “Yeah, really what is that stuff?”
Skipper Pete: “It’s my fairy dust baby.”
Father Time: “Yeah ok.”
Death: “So what are you going to name it?”
Skipper Pete:”Ummm, Cupcakes.”
Father Time: “What?”
Skipper Pete: “I said Cupcakes will be its name.”
Father Time: “Ok, but what should we call it if it’s not Cupcakes?”
Skipper Pete: “The horned horse.”
Father Time: “Alright then.”
Death: “Well you better keep Cupcakes in line.”
Father Time: “Yeah because Death can’t do it.”
Skipper Pete: “La la la la la la la…”
Death: “You’re one to talk, Skipper Pete was the one that took it down for us.”
Father Time: “Well let’s not talk about this anymore.”
Skipper Pete: “Who’s my little Cupcakes you are…”
Death: “It’s so cute when it’s sleeping.”
Father Time: “Fuck this.”
Father Time teleported back to his place.
Skipper Pete: “Yeah I know.”
Death: “So are you ready to head back?”
Skipper Pete: “Yeah come on Cupcakes.”
So Death, Skipper Pete, and Cupcakes all teleported back to Skipper Pete house.
The End
#drugs#hitler#father time#Skipper Pete#death#old folks home#the land of ox#mayo mouth#cupcakes#the unicorn#satan#the keeper#god#maker#another dimension#dream world#magic#fairy dust#kinky
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