#SkipperPete

[thelandofox-blog]

Episode IX: The God of Hellfire

With the rising of the sun, came a change in swag. A sense of love, lust, and doom came with the rising sun. Its an urge so strong that if you lived long enough you felt this feeling before and that could only mean 1 of 2 things could happen or would happen, and that is A. War or B. The Devil is in need of souls.

Skipper Pete woke up a little later than normal but oddly felt stronger and more wholesome as if nothing there’s nothing wrong in the world so he rolled out of bed and into his best cloth and headed to McQ’s.

*About a 15 minute walk later*

McQ’s Guy: “What’s up Skipper Pete.” Skipper Pete: “Not much, about to go up to the capitol with some bomb as food.” McQ’s Guy: “Awe, you always speak so highly of us.” Skipper Pete: “Well what can I say baby, if it’s free, it can’t be beat!” McQ’s Guy: “So what will you be having today?” Skipper Pete: “I need 4 Mama’s Sweet Shit Pies.” McQ’s Guy: “Anything else?” Skipper Pete: “No that’ll be all for today. The Waffler is coming over to fuck up some pancakes.” McQ’s Guy: “Awe shit, how much for a stack?” Skipper Pete: “I got you the next time I come in or you could just come up and see Hitler and the guys.” McQ’s Guy: “Bet man, I’ll be up there on my break later.”

Skipper Pete: “Oh fuck I almost forgot about Mayo Mouth… Can I get a large mayo.” McQ’s Guy: “Yea sure, here ya go.” Skipper Pete: “Thanks and fuck it, let me get a Jizz Shake for Hitler and two MT Rainbows.” McQ’s Guy: “Ok anything else before those pies are done?” Skipper Pete: “Nah that should be it.” McQ’s Guy: “Ok this should be everything.” Skipper Pete: “Looks like it baby.”

Skipper Pete grabs everything and heads to the capitol building to meet with everyone.

Skipper Pete: “Here you go Mayo Mouth.”

Skipper Pete sets the large jar of mayo onto Mayo Mouth’s desk.

Mayo Mouth: “Thanks Skipper Pete, I’ve been craving this stuff all morning.” Skipper Pete: “You know me, always got the hook up.” Mayo Mouth: “Oh don’t I know, Hitler has spent 200k on that fairy dust of yours.” Skipper Pete: “Has he? I didn’t even know.”

Death walks into the room.

Death: “Guys! Ay everyone! Skipper Pete is here!” Hitler: “Did he get the pies?” Death: “Yea and drinks.” Hitler: “I’ll tell The Waffler to start the pancakes.” Death: “You want this Jizz Shake?” Hitler: “Oh yes have Mayo Mouth run it in.” Mayo Mouth: “On the way boss.” Death: “C’mon let’s go.”

Skipper Pete, Death and Mayo Mouth walking into the next room.

Hitler: “Are you fucking ready to fucking party, you blue velvet hair fuck?” Skipper Pete: “Hell yea mother fucker. Who’s all here?” Hitler: “Everyone but the special guest.” Skipper Pete: “I didn’t know we were having a special guest.” Death: “Yea he won’t tell us who it is.” Skipper Pete: “Why not?” Hitler: “Well you’ll find out as soon as we get some of that wonderful fairy dust.” Death: “Oh we going fucked.” Skipper Pete: “Then let’s do this shit baby.”

With one swift motion Skipper Pete takes off his bag and does a bump or two before throwing fairy dust everywhere.

Mayo Mouth: “My tits have never been this shade of purple before.” Father Time: “That’s the fairy dust. If this is your first time, you’re in for a ride.” Hitler: “It’s ok, I’ll take care of you like daddy always does.” Death: “Ha gayyyyyyy.” Mayo Mouth: “You always know how to treat a girl.” Hitler: “I’ll give you that sloppy blowjob that you like so much later.” Father Time: “Can I just enjoy my trip without you guys fucking in front of me?” Hitler: “Oh don’t worry Father, you’ll know when we start the love making.” Death: “I think imma be sick.” The Waffler: “Hey you guys want some tea? It’ll help with your sickness Death.” Death: “No them not talking about choking on cock would help with that.” Father Time: “Trueeee.” Hitler: “Lol let’s get on with the show then, yes?” Skipper Pete: “Hell yea baby, I just creamed myself this shit is sooo good!” Hitler: “Well once we hit the highest high, we’ll be going to hell and back.” Mayo Mouth: “Oh what do you mean?” Hitler: “Psychedelic rock and fairy dust is a life where death is the only way to truly be born.” Mayo Mouth: “Sounds spicy.” A few minutes later the fairy dust takes full control over their minds. Then a knocking starts banging on the door.

Hitler: “That must be him, our spirit guide.” Father Time: “Who did you get?” Hitler: “Just you wait.”

Hitler walks over and opens the door to an older man who has, by the looks of it has had a battle or two with Time or so the drugs made it seem that way and by this point he was more or less just a blur of fire. The Flame just waltzed over to the stage and toyed with a few things before he started to sing, as he did everyone became tripped to their mind. Everyone but Skipper Pete.

Skipper Pete: “What’s going on?” Arthur Brown: “Well, I am, the God of Hellfire and I’ve come to make a record with you.” Skipper Pete: “Wait, you’re Arthur Brown!” Arthur Brown: “Yes Skipper Pete: “I heard that I shouldn’t mess with you.” Arthur Brown: “Well that’s up to you but I was thinking with you work in Bonic Soup, that you and I could put out something epic.” Skipper Pete: “Kind of like Milton but more fucked.” Arthur Brown: “Yes.” Skipper Pete: “Fuck let’s do it then.” Arthur Brown: “Then come here my boy.”

Skipper Pete walks over to Arthur Brown and as he does, Arthur Brown makes a wall of Hellfire. And points to it.

Arthur Brown: “After you.”

With a gulp Skipper Pete walks into the flame.

The End

#thelandofox #SkipperPete #death #hitler #drugs #acid #lsd #thewaffler #mayomouth #ArthurBrown #themonkeyofox #jimboxofox #fire #hellfire #thegodofhellfire #episode #episode 9 #IX

[thelandofox-blog]

Episode VII: The Deal

In the wee hours of the morning Skipper Pete starts to learn to use The Shining, flashes of Papa's life and memories

come into site and something of a kid made of pure hate and evil, his son but not at the same time, the mother of this child the woman he loves the most, the woman he spoke of. A knock at the door.

 Death: "Hey, Skipper Pete I know you're up."

Skipper Pete: "Yea, coming."

 Skipper Pete opens the door, Skipper Pete looks wasted, wearing a bathrobe, his eyes as red as blood.

 Death: "You okay?"

Skipper Pete: "Yeah, fine why?"

Death: "You just don't look like yourself, you wanna get out and do a few runs with me?"

Skipper Pete: "Yeah sure, let me get dressed real fast."

 Skipper Pete walks into the other room and puts on his coat and hat, as he walks back into the living room he

sees Death looking at some of the drawings on the wall.

 Skipper Pete: "Okay."

Death: "What is all of this?"

Skipper Pete: "Umm nothing."

Death: "C'mon on man, tell me, i'm your friend, let me help you."

Skipper Pete: "Just not now."

Death: "Okay, you ready then?"

Skipper Pete: "Yea."

 Death raises his scythe and cuts a portal into the room. They step though into a bedroom with pink flowers.

 Skipper Pete: "I like these flowers."

Death: "Take them, here."

 Death pulls out a box so Skipper Pete can put the pretty pink flowers in.

 Death: "Miss. McGillicuddy?"

Warren: "She not here brother, I told her to take a walk."

Death: "Warren? Is that you brother?

Warren: "I."

Skipper Pete: "Who's Warren?"

Warren: "I'm One of Four Horsemen."

Death: "But you might know him as War but why are you here? There is no war!"

Warren: "I, not yet but i'm also not the first to come."

Death: "What, who else been here?"

Warren: "Our dear sister Victoria."

Death: "So this is happening?"

Warren: "No. That is why I’m here to give you a warning of the begging of the End of Days."

Death: "Well tell me how it starts so I can try to stop it."

Warren: "With him."

 Warren points to Skipper Pete.

 Skipper Pete: "Who me, how?"

Warren: "You're one of the big trilogies, well for us anyways!

Death: "What?"

Warren: "Well from what I know is that Asmodeus and Victoria made a deal with Satan to make the Great Prophecy come true."

Death: "Fuck."

 Skipper Pete looks over to Death.

 Skipper Pete: "Yea, don't worry about it."

 Death looks over towards Skipper Pete then back to Warren.

 Warren: "Well anyways, Papa Prometheus the VII and Asmodeus had a child, which is the third in this trio, bum da dut."

(Warren pretends to play the drums)

 Death: "What does Victoria want out of this?"

Warren: “The Big Four and a few other bands’ vinyl collection and to beat me with a big black dildo."

Skipper Pete: “What an Heavy Metal Dick!”

Death: “So why help us?”

Warren: “Because I owe her $26.95.”

Skipper Pete: “Minecraft?”

Warren: “Yea.”

Skipper Pete: “Why not just pay her?”

Warren: “Single player sucks.”

Skipper Pete: “Dude, you should totally join my Skyblock server!”

Warren: “Ennnnnnh.”

Skipper Pete: “Shhh! Just add me on Skype when you are ready, my username is “More Beautiful than Barbie.”

Warren: “Umm sure, what would be a good time for you?”

Skipper Pete: “Can you do 3 a.m.?”

Warren: “Yeah!”

Death:”Umm you girls done making yawls date?”

Warren “Yeah I think so?”

Death: “Well then, finish telling me why you’re here.”

Warren: “Oh right, well Satan wants to make an album with Skipper Pete, Victoria wants to blast Pantera like a hipster, and Asmodeus wants to start the End of Days.”

Skipper Pete: “That guy’s real?”

Death: “Anything else?”

Warren: “Oh yeah! Some weirdo will steal Skipper Pete from you.”

Death: “What, who would do that?

Warren: “Chuck Green, later!”

 Warren throws up jazz hands before exploding into dust and ruble.

 Death: “What an asshole!”

Skipper Pete: “Speaking of assholes, I can eat, McQ’s?

Death: “Why not.”

 Death opens a portal to McQ’s.

 McQ’s Guy: “Nice.”

Skipper Pete: “What’s up my man?”

McQ’s: “We got this now drink called Mnt. Rainbow!”

Death: “Woo, cool, we’ll take two!”

Skipper Pete: “And two California Rolls!”

McQ’s Guy: “Aright, it’ll be out A.S.P...”

 Skipper Pete and Death walk to their seats and sit down.

 Skipper Pete: “Oh my Cupcakes! That’s Arthur Brown!”

Death: “He’s Chuck Green!

 The End

#SkipperPete #Father #Time #Death #Satan #The #Land #OX #TheLandofOx #Episode #Deal #Arthur #Brown #ArthurBrown #TheGodofHellFire #God #Hell #Fire #McQ's #Swag #Yolo #Bull #Shit #BullShit