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#your point is not good and never will be
teaboot · 6 months
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You need to make art that nobody else likes. You need to make art that speaks to you alone. You need to cradle a serpent that eats its own tail and you need to love it until it loves you back
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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I imagine barnaby trying to be all cool and flirting with howyd subtly but his smoke gives him away fjsns
he thinks he's smooth smh...
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uncanny-tranny · 6 months
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Whenever people who are entrenched in diet culture talk about how terrible chemicals are, I just want to whip out this:
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#diet culture#diet culture tw#described images#image description in alt#'it's got CHEMICALS in it' and so do you! and me too! IT'S ALL CHEMICALS ALL THE WAY DOWN#instead of running from this world we must learn to embrace it#i'm not particularly angry at people who say this because it makes me think that they're incredibly invested in diet culture...#...i just don't want the whole 'food = bad' or 'bodies = bad' to go unchallenged...#...part of the reason why diet culture seems just as prevalent now (if not moreso) is partially because it isn't really...#...challenged or questioned without provocation. it's just assumed to be correct because it makes you 'feel in control'#when chemicals are bad you can control what chemicals you consume. it's individualistic and places the blame onto you for 'being good'#it places responsibility onto the person in such a way that it becomes impossible to fulfill#it isn't that i'm upset that people want to treat their bodies in a way they think is responsible...#...moreso that the *way* they go about it ensures that they're stuck in a cycle of self-blame and even self-hatred#because the METHOD is ineffective. not the desire to treat your body well#also the state of ohio looks stupid and i do Not respect it#it looks like a ball that is simultaneously deflated and over-inflated#also their state flag looks silly to me#it looks like the person who was making it fell asleep making it#i'm just clowning on ohio at this point. have never been to ohio but. are you guys okay
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catrasfreckles · 4 months
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*wakes up*
I wonder how Pyrrha feels about her dead lover's dead daughter having the same name as her dead best friend
*goes back to sleep*
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shimmershy · 9 months
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And I will die in this place, <3
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lululeighsworld · 15 days
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it was literally their moment and they just let us watch
(if you need me i'll be marinating in this for the foreseeable future)
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wormlette · 2 months
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Extra from Ch 56 - Bicorn.
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ingravinoveritas · 4 months
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If at this point you still think Michael and David would somehow be uncomfortable with people shipping them after they've just created their own actual couple-themed Christmas card, I don't even know what to tell you...
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I said I wasn't going to get started on the topic of Aveline ruining Carver's chances with the guard but I lied okay, it's Carver Hawke defense hours.
Here's the thing; it doesn't matter if you believe Carver was or wasn't fit for the guard. That's a different debate that I'll get to. What matters is Aveline's in no position to tell the guard not to accept his application. Why does she think that's her right to judge whether or not he's fit?
Carver should've had the chance to prove himself one way or another. If it turns out he's not a good fit, then let him fail. Let him learn from it.
"Oh but failure could mean lost lives-"
Aveline doesn't get to talk shit about failure and the people. Plenty have died on her watch yet she still believes she's a good guard and Guard-Captain.
"maybe Aveline's protecting him, Carver could die while on patrol-"
Carver could die working in the Bone Pit, or serving as a templar, or when he's running around with Hawke. Carver could trip and fall down a set of stairs and die. In fact, he can die in the Deep Roads, somewhere he wouldn't have to go if the Hawke's weren't desperate.
Either Carver fails as a guard, or more likely, he succeeds and proves himself worthy of it.
But let's be real, Carver probably kept getting rejected due to being a Fereldan with a past of smuggling/mercenary work and Aveline only reaffirmed the decision, either because they asked her what she thought or she stuck her nose in unprompted.
But what irritates me is that she admits to telling them not to accept his application, and then has the balls to call Carver too proud to take up a trade or find another line of work.
Carver tells her, "And who would take on a Fereldan apprentice? Maybe in another year I could work my way up to pissboy." He has a good point here. Aside from the guard, the only other place Carver could work and use his skillset is with the Templars. Or go back to mercenary/smuggling work.
And Aveline doesn't even have a real answer for him. No suggestions, no encouragement, nothing. Just "Fine, let's crawl down some holes. Good bloody luck for your sake."
Also, if you do the Mark of the Assassin DLC in Act 1-
Aveline: You should see if any of the noblemen are looking for new men-at-arms. Carver: Are you trying to get rid of me? Aveline: It's a role with some autonomy. A good fit with your training and... tendencies. Carver: After serving King Cailan? You want me to suffer some poncy git who needs two servants to wipe his own ass? I'll find my own way, thanks. Aveline: I wish you would.
You wish he would?? Aveline, he was trying to find his way into the guard, a position he'd make a good fit for, and you helped deny him of it because YOU didn't think he would be good enough, I just-
If I haven't made it clear yet, I firmly believe that Carver would've made a great guard. He wants to help people, to be a protector. He's loyal, and despite what Aveline claims, he can follow orders and take his duty seriously. We see him do incredibly well with the Grey Wardens, after all. If he were a guard, he wouldn't have to go down into the Deep Roads with Hawke, and I think he would've been okay with that! He's so hurt and bitter when you leave him behind because that effectively tells him, "I don't need you." Carver's spent the whole first act telling you he wants to go on the expedition aka that he wants to be needed.
But if he were a guard, he would be needed elsewhere. He'd be in training as a recruit. He'd look after Leandra while you go. He wouldn't be backed into a corner with no income and only the templars left as his chance at forging his own path and providing for his family.
He doesn't get that opportunity, though.
By the way, if he becomes a warden, you can get this banter:
Aveline: I'm glad you found a place with the Wardens. Carver: Well, it's not the city guard, but it'll do. Aveline: Carver... it wasn't the place for you. Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well...
This banter makes me want to scream.
Aveline's just... she's so insistent that she's right. She's someone who will double down rather than entertain the idea that she's wrong and it's not just with Carver and the guard, it's with everything. The "my beef with Aveline" list gets longer and longer every time I replay da2, I swear.
Say what you will about Carver, whether you think he would've been a good fit or if Aveline's right and it wasn't for him, he was denied a chance and it cost him so much in the end. He either dies, or he joins the templars where he deals with Chantry's bullshit trying to brainwash him with "mages aren't people" and "magic is a cancer in this world", or he's infected with the blight and becomes a Grey Warden, forced to serve the rest of his life fighting darkspawn, tormented by voices and nightmares.
I will never not be bitter about this.
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nomoretumbler · 10 months
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!!!
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catocappuccino · 5 months
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Khan using his wrench to put Nori out of her misery
Then Uzi using the same wrench to put N "out of his misery" in a not killing but saving life way in the 1st episode do you do you understa
Do you understand what I mean.
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seventh-fantasy · 5 days
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圣人有情而无累
dihua + 情 | 莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook
#莲花楼#mysterious lotus casebook#asiandramasource#dailyasiandramas#cdramasource#asiandramanet#cdramagifs#cdramanet#gifshistorical#cdrama#cheng yi#dihua#lhlgifs#jielin's edits#my posts#情 sentiments (not romance or love) / 圣人有情而无累 a sage possesses feelings but is unburdened by it#sgm lxy was described to be cold and unfeeling to the extent he's likened to a ''dead person''#not bc he was above feelings. bc clearly when he was made to face it...it went very badly#so llh ending at the point where he's so composed and at ease despite having to leave everything he cared about behind. yeah.#one would think llh would have been dead from bicha by then. but he's never been more alive tbh#very much a xianxia/cmyth narrative. by the theoretical definitions of xianxia/cmyth#it's a dihua thing to me also since it is them that evoked in one another each of their own ordeals with 情#dfs said to lxy that 你的弱点就是喜欢当英雄. what is good pretending your motivations are so noble#bc dfs had lived his whole life for himself and only himself. he does not pretend to be more than that#and the interesting thing is when it's followed by 一个剑客不该有弱点 as if he's speaking as the 理 of wulin.#being weak is bad and it means you'll lose. that's just the rule of wulin#he is that sort of paradoxical existence...#lxy goes on to prove otherwise as llh. while existing to bring to surface the 情 in dfs#-> just know i do not know what i'm talking about anymore i just have lots of convoluted thoughts about these two im incoherent about#uhhh enjoy some nice gifs!
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fourteenthz · 12 days
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VIERAPRIL 13 - RELEASE
I assume you’re not released from duty yet? 
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angelbitezzz · 17 hours
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Sans holding the tiniest lizard you’ve ever seen (that can be perceived with the naked eye)
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I think often about how many characters keep mentioning how little Alphys is HEHEH
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