#yes i'm a sentimental bitch okay

[sanjoongie]

Happy 1 Year to Meeee~

I can't believe it's been one year already since I made this blog. It has given me new moots, new stories and untold happiness. So I decided, to share in the festivities, I'm gonna open a tag list.

But there's a catch ;)

If you want to be added to the tag list, I need you to send me a starter sentence (Or the Title) of a fic and I'll write it out for you! Just a little way for me to thank you for being here! I'm pretty much just writing for Ateez at this point but! you can let me know if you wanna be tagged in anything I write, just Ateez related, or member specific :3

This'll be open from March.2-9th I think, give you guys a week to make up your mind and torture me.

Fics made under the cut~

@starillusion13~ A Sheep in wolf's clothing (yan!ot8 royalty au)

@downtoamagicalland ~ You Saw The Good In Me When No One Else Would (half orc half elf! yeosang, fantasy au)

@hijirikaww~ Under the Dark Sky (modern god san au)

@mejuii~ Arrows of Sin (fantasy/video game changmin Au)

@aintifragile~ Failing in Love (mingi serial killer au)

@kitten4sannie~ I'm Sorry (pervert san au)

@flurrys-creativity~ Be My Muse (fashionista hongjoong/fashion designer reader au)

@hwasrie-main~ Boo! (amateur ghost hunter! Wooyoung au)

@flowerboykun~ Gentle touches in Golden Light (pornhub content creator reader / Jongho roommate)

@stardragongalaxy~ The dark star's Luminary (mass effect/sci-fi au, emperor-to-be! Hwa)

#topaz's one year anniversary! #all these pictures are from the month i started this blog #yes i'm a sentimental bitch okay

[rosehathaways-sidepiece]

unpopular opinion: I think the way the show has maneuvered Rose and Dimitri's positions in the story have effectively removed the conflict of their romance entirely. Why is there conflict about them again? Why is their love forbidden? Why do they angst for so long? There isn't a reason because the reason has either been removed or goes completely un-emphasized (similar to Lissa's mental illness!)

And I know plenty of people are happy about that. Me, personally? I think it's boring and frankly cowardly storytelling

#why actually talk about problems when we can instead pretend they don't exist at all am I right? #this may be a preemptive sentiment. maybe the rest of the episodes will change my mind #in the meantime this is where I stand #and nobody bitch at me. I'm not looking for a discussion I'm just starting MY opinion on this #if people bitch at me I will be liberally blocking #vampire academy tv show #vatv spoilers #vampire academy #yes I'm being very critical of this but it's because I love the original story so much okay? okay

[baddiewiththebook]

ONE OF THE BOYS

-> While you pine hopelessly over your best friend, Eddie Munson. You hear the sentiment 'one of the boys' one too many times and you've decided to change that. All in the name of the one boy who won't even look at you, or so you think.

-> eddie munson x you (she/her)

-> friends to lovers, slow burn, angst

-> warnings - strong language and suggestive themes [no smut]

-> a/n originally a one-shot, but I couldn’t help myself and wrote some more!

Part 1 [Part 2]

-> <-

Your heart sinks into the deepest pits of your chest. The tiny inconspicuous hole where no one would ever look. Your spirit lies under the earth, while Eddie lies bricks instead of dirt across your corpse. A quite violent death you have taken on.

“Are you still with us?” Gareth waves a hand in front of your face. Grease slips between his fingers from his two day old burger that your school pretends was freshly slapped on a grill that morning.

You squirm. “Sorry, what was that?”

“Eddie says you could come to practice,” he throws his hand up. “You’re one of the boys!”

Right.

Like someone had thrown water across your face, you slide theatrically to the floor in a puddle of you. Theatrically speaking - of course.

The lunchroom chatter dies in the back of your head like you just did a moment ago. You excuse yourself from the group, while claiming that you have forgotten your exam in the next class period and you should really put in at least a few moments of study time.

Your few moments are actually spent stowing yourself away in the ladies room.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe he asked you out!” A girl squeals. “What are you going to wear? Tell me everything!”

You had stopped your self doubting and your eternally ill fading romantic imaginations you came up with while you stare at the dull gaze in your eye behind the dirty spotted bathroom mirror. You should focus on your studies anyway. Failing your senior year of high school, again, was not on your list of to-do's.

Then again, the two girls gossiping were very pretty. You took notes. Hair full and down to her chest in length. The kind of hair Texas wishes they had. Cheeks were plump, and dusted pink with some powder of sorts. Full lips covered in sweet strawberry gloss. You can smell their gloss from just a sink away. That, or perhaps that was their perfume. Sweet and feminine.

“I'm sorry,” one of them notices you staring, while she applies a thick coat of her lip-gloss. 'Strawberry Dream' is what the little label on the tube reads. “Are we being loud?”

“No, no,” you shake your head.

“Okay,” she sings awkwardly, before continuing the conversation her friend had started. “Anyway, Josie, I think we should go shopping for a new outfit. Oh! I - so - need a new gloss. Something sexy!”

“Sexy?” You accidentally slip the words, before you could stop yourself.

The girl cocks her head. “Do you usually eavesdrop?”

Not that they weren’t talking in front of her.

“My bad,” you tug at the ends of your t-shirt. “Erm- you’re trying to impress this boy?”

“Yes,” she says simply. “Do you have some sort of advice?”

Looking you up and down, she spots the stains from your lunch at your chest. Trying not to snort and jeer at your expense, she waits for you to respond. Her cocky tight lipped smile says enough.

“Actually,” you reply. “I- Why don’t you try being yourself? He clearly likes you to ask you out, so maybe you could tone it down?”

“Tone it down?” She frowns. “Like you? Tell me er- girl of some sort- how many dates have you gotten with that fresh out of bed look you wear every single day. You look like a shy boy. Yeah, I see you around. You’re small like a shrimp. You need to be shark in these waters or your going to get your head bitten off. Put on a bra. A low cut top. And, maybe some blush to hide that dead corpse face you wear-,”

“It’s my skin-,”

“When you get a date, then you get an opinion. Got it?”

“Got it,” you zip your lips. What a bitch.

-> <-

Practice, as the group of men slamming poorly synchronized chords together, is held at Gareth’s garage promptly after school. You did not participate in the noise, but rather you sit in a lawn chair onlooking. Fanning yourself with your hands, sweat glistens across your skin like armor.

Your friends finish their set. Eyes on you, you cheer for their noise that will surely draw eyes from the neighborhood. Someone will be by soon to tell the boys to quiet their racket, and to perhaps indulge themselves in a new activity like reading a book. The Book, perhaps.

“You’re getting better,” you propose promisingly.

Eddie nudges your shoulder with a fist on his way to the cooler to grab a cold soda. You pretend like your heart didn’t just stop inside of your chest.

“I told you, guys,” Eddie has been raving to his band mates (and occasional D&D players) that you, his B.F.F., wasn’t going to ruin practice. That just because you might have a new rack and hips hidden underneath this t-shirt wasn’t going to change any dynamic within the group.

They all agreed about this while staring at your ever growing chest and hips. You cover your chest again, before speaking out of turn.

“Are you ever going to preform these songs?” You ask the group.

Eddie’s plush lips touch the bottle his soda came in. Condensation from the glass dripped across his chin and down his neck to the exposed flesh of his chest.

And, they were so worried about you “developing.” Here you are, eyeballing your best friend like you haven’t ever seen him before. Suddenly, you woke up one morning and you were obsessed with him!

It isn’t like that at all. You didn’t know when you began having feelings for your best friend. Somewhere between living next to each other in the trailer park. Sneaking out after your curfew to splash in Lovers Lake (Eddie’s favorite way to wash off his worries). And, the times you tripped over your own clumsiness when Eddie was the first to rescue you. You might have just fallen into his eyes you stared at them so long. Maybe- maybe that’s when something changed.

No more boys and girls - there are men and women. High school changes us - all of us. There’s science behind it all, you suppose. You took health courses, but no scientific explanation could bring you to figure out how you were completely enamored by your best friend.

Your best friend, who is sweating underneath the heat of the garage. Finding himself without options, he strips his shirt.

“Hold this for me,” he says like there’s no issue. Because there was no issue for him, you’re alone in your feelings. Classic.

“Sure,” you fold his shirt up in your lap, while resisting the urge to inhale his scent like a trained dog trying to find a missing person. Or, like an addict getting their fix for the first time in days.

“And, yes,” Eddie announces, before slamming down a new chord. “Come watch us at the Hideout!”

“Really?!”

“Sure,” Gareth speaks for his friend. “If you want.”

“I’ll come,” you ask, “What time?”

“We’ll start setting up around six in the evening, but we’re not set to play until seven,” Eddie explains to you. “Friday.”

You nod. “I’ll be there!”

“Oh, Eddie!” Gareth grabs his attention. “You gonna bring Roxie?”

Roxie Martin? Now, she’s a hot pair of tits in a mini skirt. Full scarlet lips, Rockin’ Roxie, as some people called her, was a She Devil in human skin. Sinking her teeth into her pray, she poisons them with feminine venom. She doesn’t even have to sing them a tune, for men will follow her into the depths of the vast blue ocean without question.

Some just thought she was a slut in heels, though.

Whatever story floats.

Eddie strums a sour note.

“Dude, I’m just teasing,” his friend snickers.

Eddie scolds his friend, then the group of boys begin to slam on their instruments some more.

You sat there for hours watching Eddie slobber over his guitar. Sweat glistened down across his skin. His fingers striking each chord by heart as he did every night. Touching the strings expertly with the tips of his cherry red fingers. He begun feeling sore towards the end of the night, and the guys agree that it would probably be a good opportunity to turn in for the night.

Practice would resume tomorrow.

And you were forever and eternally frustrated.

-> <-

“Robin,” you slouched over the clear candy bowl labeled ‘Free.’ “I need to be a girl.”

Robin jabs away at the keypad of the store computer that is clearly frozen. While she might be renting out videos to people, Robin’s shit with technology.

That gave her more time to ignore her responsibilities, however, and acknowledges to your moping. With an arched brow, she sucks in her lips and she lets them go with a loud pop.

“You are a girl,” she states the obvious, while appearing to look down at your chest. “Or- so I think.”

“That’s not what I meant,” you stuff more candy into your mouth like a starved squirrel just coming out from hibernation. Squirrels hibernate, don’t they? Whatever.

“What ever could you possibly mean?” She props herself up onto her elbows.

There was a time when you were a child that a mean boy kicked dirt on you at the playground. Swooping in like your knight in shining armor, Eddie came to you to brush the dirt from your clothes and to wipe the tears from your cheeks. Feeling outcasted, Eddie surrounded himself in the weaker kids. The kids that enjoy recess sitting on the brick wall of their school, or close by the door to wait for your teachers to let you back inside.

You read books with him during quiet reading because he didn’t know how to keep the letters from mixing together. Eddie would apologize for his hair being frizzy, and all over the place. You thought he was funny looking like that.

Sometimes you wish you could go back to the good old days where your heart didn’t sing in your chest whenever your childhood best friend was near. You wish the aching in your bones would sooth itself instead of feeling fuzzy every time Eddie greeted you at a whisper from behind. That his strong hand touching you like a doll would become friendly again, and less like you want to shove him against the lockers to kiss his pretty face.

You knew better.

Yet, here you are.

Say it had something to do with what happened yesterday. Roxie’s sexy. You want her sexy. Not her. But, just the sexy. And, whoever was in the bathroom was right. You’re much more than a baggy t-shirt and a pair of denim on your legs. You grew up during the summer, and so what if you want to show off a bit. You earned your assets.

“I can’t tell you,” you put out there for Robin to read. “You’ll blab to Steve, and Steve will tell- doesn’t matter.”

You wait for her to speak, but Robin never does. She blinks at you.

“There’s this boy-,”

“A boy?!” Her voice echoes against the furthest most walls.

You wave your hands. “Robin!”

“Go on!”

“I just - I want to grow up a little.”

The jangle of the front door opening broke their conversation apart. There was nothing elegant about Eddie Munson. He slammed his jacket into the stand of desperately rentable tapes. The display wobbled. Swiveled. And, slammed into the floor. The video tapes splattered.

“Dude!” Robin huffs. “I just put those up!”

Eddie scrambles to rescue the mess. “My bad, Robs. You know? You might not want to put these right in front of the walkway. ‘Could get knocked over - see?”

Robin knew Eddie from class. Smart mouth guy with a lot to say about literature. He held a lot in his head, but once he got to a piece of paper, he could just go.

“The usual, Eddie?”

Oh, and he also rented out the same tape once a week for the past three weeks. It was a Rated R film that had a single one minute scene of a nude woman on top of a man she was suffocating. Not with her boobs- with his belt.

Robin snaps back into reality.

“Eh, looking for something new,” he fixed the display, before joining the girls at the register. “Suggestions?”

Robin slams her palm against the monitor. “Stupid thing is still frozen. Oh! Did you hear your little pal has a crush on a boy?”

“Robin!” You cringe. Turning into the wallpaper sounds really nice right about now. Hell, you’ll fix that computer if it gets Robin off the topic of you.

Anyone, she can blab to anyone, but Eddie. Where was Steve when you needed him? Oh, you are so screwed!

“What? It’s just Eddie!”

Just Eddie - yeah, Robin, that’s the problem.

“A crush? On who?” Eddie scoffs out loud.

Your jaw goes agape. “Are you saying I can’t have a crush on someone?”

“No, I just- you’re one of the guys!”

“She can’t be one of the guys forever,” Robin defends you. Perhaps she saw you twitch. “She’s a girl underneath those stains.”

You brush your dirty t-shirt.

“Robin-,”

“What? Whoever this boy is, he’s shit out of luck if he doesn’t see what we all see,” your friend continues.

Eddie teeters his balance back and forth on each foot.

“I’m going to go look for a movie,” he says.

Robin ignores him shuffling into the isles. “I’m just saying if he doesn’t like you back that is his loss. Right?”

You peak around for any sight of Eddie. His frizzy mane is locked onto a movie in the farthest isle.

“Oh my god,” Robin follows your gaze. “Oh my god! This is big- no, huge- I can’t believe before my eyes your friends to lovers trope-,”

“Robin! Hush!” You whisper at a much louder volume than you anticipate.

Yet, here comes Eddie back to the counter without a film in hand. Robin shoots you a glance that screams that she’s about to burst like a toddler who has to pee, but they can’t get their overalls off.

“Can’t find anything?” Robin intertwined her fingers in front of her.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Eddie sighs.

The sound that came from Robin’s lips could have been the earth splitting in two, and trying to suck her in or the angels above calling her back to heaven. She’s a bit eccentric.

Oh, God, you think she’s plotting.

“Actually,” she settles. “I have a film back here that we haven’t set out on shelves yet.”

“Is it a romance?” He guesses purely based on the actors gazing longingly on the front cover. “Robin, I don’t do romance.”

“Obviously,” she says as a matter-of-fact. “Anyway, this is a mystery. Hm? You know? Like clues and shit.”

“Clues and shit?”

“Maybe,” you signal ‘no’ to Robin, but she blatantly ignores you, “you two can watch it together. Hm? Solve the mystery, before the show ends? Let me know what you think!”

“Robin-,” Eddie begins, but Robin is already scanning the tape to rent out.

“It’ll be fun!”

You pinch the bridge of your nose.

“I’ll see you around six for a movie night like old times?”

You mask your embarrassment. Nodding in a set agreement, Eddie left with the film still eyeing the cover like it had just insulted him.

“How could you do that?” You shame her.

Robin shrugs her shoulders, while dancing behind the counter like a relationship fairy.

“Oh! You’ll need something to wear by then!” She shouts to her coworker. “Steve! I’m not feeling well! Will you be okay for the rest of the day?!”

“Ah ha,” Steve appears like he’s been waiting for permission to enter the conversation. “You’re not leaving me here by myself!”

“What was that? I can’t hear you,” she points to her ear, as she’s setting her jacket over her shoulders. “Ear ache.”

“Robin!”

“Huh? Oh, thank you!” She shuffles herself and you out the front door.

Warm air meets you outside. Although you wished to take off another layer, you felt practically naked as is. Cotton blend shirts were thick in these spring days. The same could be said for your denim jeans.

“Won’t he be mad?” You ask.

Robin snorts. “Steve? No.”

No explanation given - no explanation necessary. Robin and Steve were like a pair of siblings at most times. Although, knowing Steve had a thing for Robin at some point made the analogy much creepier than it should have been.

You drive yourself and Robin back to your home where your family was not. They’re out of town for the whole week doing an anniversary trip. Figuring your of the age to take care of yourself, they’ve left you by yourself with only the responsibility of keeping the home clean.

“What are we looking for?” You sit on your made bed hugging one of your pillows to your chest, while Robin riffles through your closet.

Robin shoves another dress across the hanger to the disapproved pile. Her grunts and sighs are discouraging as is, but rather her blatant disregard that you like some of those clothes is hurting even more. Or, maybe you like those clothes. You haven’t gone shopping in a while.

“Do you own anything that isn’t from Forever 40?” She jokes heartily.

You tilt your head to one side. “I like my clothes.”

“Well, we don’t have time for shopping,” she scans around your room for something. Jostling your clean laundry, your papers across your desk and the drawers under them - she finally lets out an, “Ah, ha!”

You groan. “Are you going to clean your mess?”

Clearly ignoring you, Robin holds up a sharpened pair of scissors like a magic wand. Holding one of your plain shirts in the air, she begins slicing away at every angle.

“Hey!” You protest.

She pauses. “Right, put it on.”

“Rob, that’s my favorite shirt!”

“I’ll buy you another one,” she shoves your head through the hole, and continues sniping at the edges. Fondling your chest, she measures where the top of your breast lies. “Hey! Your the first woman to let me touch their boobs. Congrats!”

You laugh at this. “Robin, as your friend, you can touch my boobs any time you need a fix.”

“Don’t tease me with a good time,” she jokes back. With one more snip, she steps away from you. “You have any skirts? No, of course you don’t. Jeans will have to do.”

You couldn’t hear Robin’s tangent. In the standing mirror hung on your wall, you saw someone new. Surely, she moves when you move. Her chest bounces while she breathes. That tan from the summer on the beach is touching her skin in a most devilish manor. You hold your chin a bit higher seeing what a few snips from craft scissors will do.

“Makeup!” Robin insists.

Pink rouge presses into your cheekbones. Those cheekbones you earned from your grandmother. That’s always the compliment your mother spoke. And, mascara coated thickly across your eyelashes. Your lashes are rather short, but with that black mascara you were seeing yourself glow with confidence.

Lip gloss that tasted like honey-

“In case you’re kissing any boys tonight,” she clicks the tube together with the wand. “My dear, you’re ready.”

You take a spin in the mirror.

“I hardly recognize myself,” you touch your hair.

Robin slaps your hand away. “Don’t mess that up, before Eddie gets here. Oh! And, look at the time, I should go.”

You’re left by yourself for another hour. Twiddling your thumbs, and checking your makeup by the minute. Eventually, you pop popcorn in the microwave and place the bowl in the center of the coffee table in the living room. You twist the bowl around, so you can’t see the chip on the side from when you dropped the bowl a few years ago.

Tapping your foot against the plush carpet beneath your feet, you travel between worlds where you feel ridiculous for dressing up like this, but you also feel hot.

Denim cuts at your waist, and you begin to doubt wearing jeans instead of pajamas. You never wore jeans after you got home. Eddie will surely know what’s up.

You have no time to change your mind because the doorbell rings through the quiet house. Stillness - as if moving would threaten your life somehow. Then, again, the doorbell sings.

You drag the sweat from your hands onto the back of your jeans. Jeans that you should have changed to shorts. He’ll see right through your ruse!

You settle your nerves with one more glance over in the mirror in your little entryway. When you open the front door, Eddie’s tickling the lavender your mom set out on the front porch last week.

“What? Your shirt go through a lawnmower?” Was the first thing he says.

You knew it.

“Erm-,”

“I brought the movie, and beer,” he held up the movie and a six pack he snaked off of his uncle. “Come on, I’m freezing out here.”

Eddie doesn’t ask where anything is. He’s been here so many times before, birthdays, holidays and any time your mother has just come back from the supermarket with “the good snacks.”

You knew each other for some time, which is probably why he’s never going to see you as someone other than his best friend. Why would you think about that? You had a shot, right?

“I popped popcorn,” you pointed in the living room.

“Sick,” he drops down into your couch. “We can go ahead and start the movie - the guys will be here soon.”

“The guys?” You blurt.

“Well, yeah,” Eddie says. “Like old times?”

“Right,” the light in your eye fades, and you just hope Eddie can’t sense the hesitance in your tone.

In the next hour, your quiet date night that had been set up by your overly optimistic friend, swirls in the direction that it is always meant to be. You squish into the couch arm rest, while Gareth battles Eddie over the movie choice. Although, this time the boys came to an agreement that this was not an action movie like Robin promised Eddie earlier.

“Where’s the gore?!” Gareth flings popcorn at the television screen. “Throw her off the ledge!”

“You want to see an innocent woman flung to her death?” You snap at him.

A piece of popcorn drops from Gareth’s mouth, and into his awaiting lap. You didn’t come to raising your tone with the boys unless something truly bothers you. Clearly, by the tightness in your chest, some of the anger spills over the edge. Quite like the woman dangling the man’s waist.

“Never mind,” you stand. “I’m going to make more popcorn.”

Taking the bowl from Eddie, you stow away in the comfort of your kitchen. Before your mother left for her trip, a folded note stacked on the island told you to not bring anyone over. But, if you are going to have boys over, she asks that you use protection. She has a wild imagination if she thinks her daughter has a sex life.

She must have passed this onto you. You toss yourself at someone, who obviously holds no similar feelings as you do. This whole night was a bust. Your eyes itch from the mascara. Your lips bled from when you chewed on them like they’re your last meal. At least the color matches with your lip gloss that you reapplied many times in the bathroom when you need a break from the crowd in your living room. And, you can’t feel your waist anymore. Tingling below the belt - and for all the wrong reasons.

“You okay?” Gareth’s voice startles you.

You spin around, and he’s there standing where the carpet meets the linoleum.

A yell from the living room suggests something mortifying must have happened in the film like the boy finally kissing the girl, or perhaps saying something romantic.

“Yeah,” you blink. “Just- making more popcorn.”

Gareth doesn’t say anything about the popcorn bags sitting on the counter next to him, but the room reads itself. You scamper over to the bag, before ripping the plastic and the bag apart by accident sending kernels across the floor. Gareth meets you at the floor below.

“Shit,” you sniff. “I’ll get the broom.”

“Hey,” he grabs your arm, before you can run off again. “What’s going on?”

You sit next to the mess on the floor letting out a gust of air from your lungs that you’ve been holding onto for dear life.

“It’s stupid,” you tell him.

Gareth moves a piece of your hair from in front of your face. “What?”

You look at him for the first time. Between you two, you didn’t have to say a word he didn’t already know. Because while you’re chasing Eddie, Gareth’s warm heart is following after you. You’re blind to him before.

“Eddie’s not going to like me back, is he?” You whisper at an almost inaudible volume. Dabbing at your eye, you wipe the single tear threatening to break the damn.

Gareth sits next to you with his arms wrapped around his knees.

“I don’t know,” he says honestly. “I think he just hasn’t woken up yet. He does talk about you a lot when your not around.”

“Really?”

“You scare him,” Gareth lets out a breathy laugh. “In a good way. He- he’s never had someone to rely on in his life besides his uncle. And, if what Eddie says is true, you’ll never truly change to please anyone. You’re loyal, and your funny. You’re beyond beautiful. The Goddesses shrivel in your light-.”

Your cheeks heat up.

“Okay, I might have added that last part,” he admits. “But, you never know if you don’t try.”

You reach out for his hand. “Thank you, Gareth.”

He squeezes your hand. “Anytime.”

You say. “And I- I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Erm- you know.”

“I guess I do,” he looks away. “I’ll be fine.”

You toss a popcorn kernel Gareth’s direction hoping to lighten the mood. Gareth snorts and tosses one back.

“We should clean up,” you tell him.

Gareth agrees. “Oh, and - when I said you don’t change, I meant it.”

You pull at your half shirt. “Yeah, I don’t think this is me. Everyone just kept telling me to stop dressing like a boy.”

“Trust me,” Gareth suggests. “You do not look like a boy.”

“Oh, shut up,” you gather yourself on your own two feet. “I don’t know - I kind of like the look, but maybe tone it down a bit?”

“I’ll get the broom,” Gareth says leaving your question unanswered. "Oh, and I promise to keep myself and the guys out of your way the next time Eddie suggests we all have a 'movie night'" at your house."

"You caught onto that?"

"It's a classic move," he sweeps. "I can't say I wasn't going to try it on you some day."

"Well, I'm sorry that it won’t work out between us," you assure him.

"I'll survive," he won’t really look at you now, only at the task at hand. "Besides, I know how great of a guy Eddie is. If you do go out with him, there’s no hard feelings."

Gareth sweeps every last kernel from the floor, then uses the dust pan to scoop them up and finally tosses them into the bin. By the time he's done scoping out every inch of your floor, you're done popping a new bag of popcorn.

The movie night continues without a hitch (aside from the merciless damning of the film coming from each of the boys in your home). Your eye on the one man, who could never look at you the way you do him. But, you don't know that for sure.

Because, as soon as you look away, Eddie's full attention is on you.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #stranger things imagine #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson preference #angst

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Baby Pictures: Hazbin Hotel

Lucifer: Alright, everyone! Gather 'round! (Reaches into his inner coat pocket and pulls out a stack of various styles of pictures) I GOT BABY PICTURES!!!

Charlie: DAD!!!! NO!!!! NOT MY BABY PICTURES!!!

Lucifer: I only have a couple of you in here, Char-Char. The rest are baby pictures of everyone else!

Angel: WHAT?!?!?! You're lyin'! Lemme see! (Swipes an offered photograph from Lucifer and barks with laughter) Holy Shit!!! This is me and my sister Molly at our cousin, Vinny's, confirmation as little tykes!

Charlie: Let me see! Let me see! (Looks over Angel's shoulder and sees two little brunette 18 month Olds wearing all white and looking almost the same. The o lying difference is one has shorter hair while the other has long curls) AWWWWWWW!!!!

Lucifer: Husk? Want yours? It's sepia toned, but still distinguishable.

Husk: Burn that shit....

Lucifer: (holds up the old photograph and frowns) Are you sure? There's a nice lady holding you-

Husk: (swipes the picture and tucks it under his hat) Gimme that!.... Asshole bringing my mother into this....

Lucifer: Alastor, here, you and your weirdness... (flicks the picture of Alastor to him)

Alastor: (Catches and looks at the photo with a sentimental smile) Awww, I was adorable.

Charlie: (watches as Lucifer passes baby/family photos to the rest of the hotel inhabitants, but skipping over Vaggie) Uh.... Dad?

Lucifer: Yes, sweetie?!

Charlie: Do.... you have a picture of Vaggie?

Lucifer: Hmmm.... (flips through the few he has left in his hands) No. No Maggie in here, sweetie. I'm sorry.

Vaggie: Babe, don't worry about it. Really. I don't remember anything outside of Heaven. It wouldn't make any difference-

Lucifer: OPE!!! I LIED!!! (Digs deeper into his picket and pulls out a baby Vaggie picture) I thought I had one in here! Here ya go, kiddo!

Charlie: (takes the picture gingerly and stares in wonder at the image of a little, light brown, straight haired baby with tanned skin, sleeping in a diaper and t-shirt while sucking her thumb) ...............

Vaggie: Charlie? (Looks over Charlie's shoulder) Woof.... that's one ugly little bitch....

Charlie: (grabs Vaggie's shoulders and presses their noses together) DON'T SAY THAT!!!! THIS - (holds up the picture) -IS THE CUTEST BABY I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!

Vaggie: (leaning away) Okay, hun. I'm sorry.

Charlie: We're making one!

Vaggie: ....Excuse you?

Charlie: (dragging Vaggie over to Lucifer, Digs around in her dad's inner pocket, and pulls out the baby potion before pulling Vaggie towards the stairs to their bedroom) YOU HEARD ME!!!!

Vaggie: (dragging her feet) Babe! Can we talk about this first?!

Lucifer: Atta Girl, Charlie!!!

#hazbin hotel #incorrect quotes #hazbin incorrect quotes #lucifer #alastor #angel #husk #chaggie #charlie #vaggie #baby pictures #the baby potion makes a reappearance #I'm pretending Vaggie was human before an exorcist here

[ghostradiodylan]

It's karaoke night. What songs do you think each of the hacketteers would sing?

I love this ask and I spent entirely too long thinking about it! Thank you!

Nick: “American Girl” - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. He’ll dedicate this one to Abi and play a whole lot of clumsy but enthusiastic air guitar during the instrumental breaks. He’ll also do really on-the-nose inside joke choices like “Werewolves of London” by Warren Zevon (he'll change 'London' to 'Melbourne' because he's really lame) or “Once Bitten, Twice Shy” by Great White.

Emma: “Style” - Taylor Swift. She just reads as a Taylor girlie to me and this one’s a classic. She could do "We Are Never Getting Back Together" but Jacob might cry. So, "Style" it is. Not too tough in range and it doesn’t require her to do the cringey rap-talking part she’d have to do if she picked “Shake It Off” (although that one would also be fun and maybe if Abi gets drunk enough she’ll join Emma onstage and do that part for her).

Jacob: he wants to pick “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey but it has been banned because basic bitches like him just keep singing it. If he’s still moping about Emma, he might choose “Somebody to Love” by Queen. If someone else gets to it first, then it’s The Killers' “Mr. Brightside” all the way until the bar bans that one too.

Kaitlyn: she almost always picks a song you can scream-sing to. She has some rage to get out, okay? Her go-to is either "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" by Joan Jett or "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette. If you get enough alcohol in her for her to get in her feelings though, she might do Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart," as a treat.

Laura: "Dog Days are Over" - Florence + The Machine. Is that another werewolf joke? Yes, yes it is. She can't help being overjoyed to say goodbye to the (meat)dog days. She'd probably also absolutely crush "Help I'm Alive" by Metric.

Max: I will never recover from the post that said Max and Dylan would know every step from the JustDance version of “Rasputin” by Boney M (which I think is completely correct) so I’m picking that one for Max. However, if he gets a second song or he’s feeling extremely sentimental, he might do the Michael Bublé version of “L.O.V.E.” for Laura.

Abi: I think Abi's actual musical listening tastes might be a little moodier than this, but for karaoke she wants it light and easy, and it doesn't get much lighter or easier than ABBA. "Dancing Queen" or "Mamma Mia." She'd really like it if Emma would come sing backup for her so she doesn't have to go up by herself.

Dylan: He never does the same song twice; he wants everyone to be surprised every time. He's done Lady Gaga's "Poker Face. He's done "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At the Disco." He's done Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream." Tonight, it's "Still Into You" by Paramore.

Ryan: He can't believe he got talked into this. Ryan hates attention and doesn't really love the sound of his own voice. He would prefer to sit quietly and watch everyone else perform. Beer won't be enough, Ryan will have to drink an entire pitcher of LITs to be drunk enough to sing. Then he will sing "Love You Madly" by CAKE and absolutely slay. Dylan will be facedown on their table pretending to have fainted when he gets back.

Bonus: Duets!

Laura and Max have perfected their version of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by Elton John and Kiki Dee. You should really see it. There’s choreo and everything.

Jacob and Kaitlyn will sing "I Believe in A Thing Called Love" by The Darkness. Nobody knows why. Neither of them has the upper range to pull it off and they know it. It's awful. They're just screeching. Ryan has to go outside until they're finished. His nerves can't take it. They have fun though.

Dylan would really like Ryan to duet with him on Peter Bjorn and John's "Young Folks," he'll even do the girl parts and the whistling! But Ryan's one and done at karaoke, and even that is asking a lot. Instead, Dylan and Nick duet The Proclaimers' "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" in absurd and potentially offensive Scottish accents.

Emma and Abi end up duetting half the time when they're supposed to be doing their own songs anyway, especially when it's Abi's turn! Somehow Emma just ends up there too. But they do "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper together with some frequency and they're great at it.

Bonus 2: Group Number!

You already know what it is. You know what's coming. You get it stuck in your head every time you play the damn game (don't you? I know it's not just me.) How could they not all sing Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" together? Of course they do.

#the quarry #hacketteer headcanons #beautiful asks from beautiful people #hacketteer karaoke night #nick furcillo #emma mountebank #max brinly #jacob custos #laura kearney #kaitlyn ka #ryan erzahler #abi blyg #dylan lenivy #the brainrot is brainrotting #who needs sleep?

[lesbianreaderidk]

nijisanji en females x reader incorrect quotes

Y/N: Guys where did Enna go? Selen: She got arrested. Y/N: How the hell- Enna: bursts in through the window The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

----------------

Selen: Here is my wall of inspirational people. Y/N: Is that a picture of you? Selen: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

----------------

Selen: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’.

Y/N: YOU LITERALLY JUST CURSED ME OUT IN THREE DIFFERENT LANGUAGES???

---------------

Pomu: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face. Y/N: Y/N: I like you.

---------------

Reimu: Do you take constructive criticism? Y/N: No, only cash or credit.

---------------

Y/N: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way? Enna: Wait, what’s the difference? Y/N: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven… if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

Pomu: running in WHY IS THE KITCHEN ON FIRE?!

---------------

Finana: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not! Pomu: Finana, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday. Finana: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it! Y/N: …It was a bug. Finana: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not! Pomu: … Y/N: … Finana: Stop looking at me like that!

-----------------

Y/N: So… what’s goin’ on? Pomu: You want the long version or the short version? Y/N, hesitantly: The short one, I guess? Pomu: Shit’s fucked. Y/N: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

-----------------

Finana: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- Y/N: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

-----------------

Y/N: Father, I have sinned. Enna: Daddy, I’ve been naughty.

-----------------

Y/N, texting: Enna, will you please go to sleep? Enna, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up? Y/N, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP! Y/N, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon? Enna, texting: I’m trying Y/N, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH Y/N, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :)

-----------------

Selen: ARE YOU- Y/n: Fucking. Selen: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Y/N: Fucking. Selen: IDIOT! Pomu: …What was that? Y/N: Nina banned Selen from swearing, so I’m helping her out.

------------------

Pomu: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Y/N, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

------------------

Enna, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs? Finana: It means like in hand-to-hand combat. Enna: Ohhhh- Y/N: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

#selen tatsuki x reader #enna alouette x reader #pomu rainpuff x reader #nijisanji en x reader #finana ryugu x reader #incorrect quotes #nijisanji x reader

[thatswhatsushesaid]

get 2 know me meme

tagged by @cryptidafter 🫡

tagging: whoever feels like doing this, but also @watertightvines @ratheralark @needsmoreresearch @chaos0pikachu @skalidris @thepurplewombat @evilhasnever

Do you make your bed?

yep! not like super neatly or whatever but it gets remade every morning to prevent the cats from causing problems.

What’s your favorite number?

seven--just like prev! dunno why exactly, i just vibe with it.

What is your job?

i'm an overworked government bureaucrat, which maybe explains why i think jin guangyao should get to murder whomever he wants.

If you could go back to school, would you?

nooooope. i've got my masters and that is more than enough for me. i've actually told my husband that if i start making any serious noises about going back to school, he has my permission to yell at me.

Can you parallel park?

y... yes. in that once i am parked, i am sure that my car is parallel to something, somewhere.

A job you had that would surprise people?

i'm genuinely not sure any of my day jobs are that exciting lol. uhhh i designed and administered sharepoint online websites for a major canadian university for a while and hated every second of it despite making bank while i did it. god i hate sharepoint so much.

Do you think aliens are real?

i think it's way more unlikely that we're totally alone in the universe.

Can you drive a manual car?

nope, never learned how to drive stick shift unfortunately.

What’s your guilty pleasure?

i'm not sure i feel guilty about it exactly but i do enjoy rewatching gilmore girls while very high.

Tattoos?

just the one, which will be a week old as of tomorrow 👀 it's a stylized rendering of the solar eclipse! my husband and the man of honour at our wedding also got matching tattoos, so it's a very sentimental tattoo for me.

Favorite color?

i'm a jewel tones kind of bitch, so deep forest green, burgundy, etc,

Favorite type of music?

i like a little bit of everything tbh but i mostly listen to grunge and bluegrass.

Do you like puzzles?

no 😤 they stress me out lol

Any phobias?

several, and broadcasting what they are on a public platform like this while knowing i have at least two hatefollowers sounds like a very bad idea.

Favorite childhood sport?

horse-riding! i also took dance and played soccer but riding horses was the most fun. also the cheapest since i just went down to our neighbour's farm and rode her horses lol

Do you talk to yourself?

oh yes.

What movies do you adore?

god, okay, this is hard: the LOTR extended editions, the OG star wars trilogy, OG jurassic park, saved!, batman: the dark knight, captain america: the winter soldier, inception, sunshine, 1408, knives out, parasite, leon the professional, anything directed by hayao miyazaki, anything directed by guillermo del toro (except for the shape of water, which i can't watch because of the scene with the cat)--i'm sure i'm forgetting something.

Coffee or tea?

can't start my day without a cup of tea 👍

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

i wanted to be a veterinarian! but i also wanted to be an astronaut just as badly because i figured even aliens probably have pets, and someone has to look after them.

#ray.txt

[lilflowerpot]

corporate wants you to find the difference between these pictures [lotor vld] [astarion bg3]

...................................................okay.........okay yes, I'll admit it, I'm an astarion girlie, of course I'm an astarion girlie, just LOOK AT HIM he's my type to a damn T, are you really surprised??

tall dark & deadly

inhuman

grey-moral bastard

intelligent beyond reason

powerful beyond being reasoned with

emotionally unavailable

can cut you with their stare alone

"is that a knife in your pocket or are you just h- that's a knife."

the prettiest bitch on the planet (may or may not have killed their competition to ensure this)

colour palette as chilly as their demeanour

✨gaslight gatekeep girlboss✨

could and would burn the world for their goals (and, more sentimentally, the people they love)

#odds are if a character has like 9/12 I'm in love with them #Aaravos / Alucard / Annabel Lee / Astarion / Brizzium / Daemon / Eris / Geralt / Ghirahim / Hordak / Hua Cheng / Lotor / Yennefer #feeling like a bad bisexual for the staggering lack of ladies in that list but when it comes to men I am //very// particular #like for the lads it's this or nothing #but women are.............. 💕✨💞women💞✨💕 yk? #[[insert deep wistful sigh here]] #the author speaks

[theabyssgazesalsointoyou]

Abyss! Rant to me about your favorite bmc song >:)

aaaaa tysm for the ask!!! 💙

okay so it's actually been like 539463 years since i listened to bmc at all but. my fav bmc song is halloween 👻🎃 which might be an unpopular choice but considering my favorite characters it shouldn't be much of a surprise either lol

i have mentioned this several times before but listening to bmc for the first time was. an Experience for me lmao. i initially didn't vibe with the campy absurdity of it all but halloween was an exception bc it was sooo catchy and fun. yes even with the lyrics like 'i got a condom'. this musical opens with the line 'i'm waiting for my porno to load' the bar was not very high

agtikbi was also an exception as it's arguably the most basic(?) song but i preferred the energy of halloween. which i think it has some part to do with my high school experience irl?? like. i did not like school (honestly who does) and i certainly get the sentiment of mts/ilpr/tpg or whatever but as a high schooler i was wayyyy closer to brooke or jake than the main trio. by which i mean while i had my own struggles it didn't show and i did fine at school- i got good grades and i was generally well-liked by both students and teachers etcetera. but on the flip side i didn't have much of a personality and i'm 99% certain a fair amount of people thought of me as a shallow basic bitch lmao. (i am certainly not the target audience for bmc in that aspect lol) so halloween might have resonated with me the most. y'know how it is. Projection ™️.

but mostly yeah i just really like the sound and the fact that it's predominantly about my favorite characters and the knowledge of the sweet sweet angst that will happen after <3

#orca answers #hm you know what fuck it this goes in the main tag #bmc #be more chill

[hegrowth]

🚩 🚩🚩TEA. SPILL. NOW.

send me a 🚩 and i'll share my unpopular rpc opinions and hot takes. || accepting

oof ya'll we are in for it now. it's time... for puffin's hot take on softblocking. because yes I am and always will be salty about this shit, come fucking fight me and my anxiety-ridden existence.

firstly. I softblock inactive and archived blogs. I think that's chill. but I also always say I'm doing that, so in the event I accidentally softblock someone I didn't mean to and they check my blog like ??? they'll see that post and be like ah okay, it was a mistake.

now. for the love of fuck, why do people say they softblock when unfollowing folks in their rules but also state they do not want to be contacted if they unfollow you ? this is why I have anxiety. like, if you're gonna get offended every time someone messages you to make sure it wasn't an accident or glitch just block people.

and yeah, that is probably where 90% of my anxiety comes from, and why I struggle to reach out to people. because me, popping into someones DMs to make sure it wasn't a mistake gave them the ick and they decide to vague about me or block me anyway. grow the fuck up. and stop assuming the worst about people !

because you know what ? your self-righteous "ew don't talk to me after cutting you off" like tumblr isn't a glitching hellsite / mobile tumblr isn't an accidental thumb-swish away from deleting your blog is not friendly to your neurodivergent followers who struggle to understand situations and approach people.

because being disgusted by someone's genuine concern is shitty. if I come to you like, hey... it's because I noticed, and it mattered to me, and I managed to overcome the anxiety telling me everyone secretly hates me. you being rude about it isn't sexy, and it isn't cool. like, good for you. you're no longer being haunted by my lame ass.

listen. I understand that anxiety exists, obviously. but if that whole situation up top gives you anxiety then you should just block people. and also, if you are softblocking folks but aren't comfortable with them contacting you about it ??? copypastas bitch. a simple "hey, thanks for reaching out ! I did mean to softblock you, nothing personal, just please don't contact me anymore or follow me." goes a long fucking way, because if they then choose to keep pushing it ? you've set your boundaries, they're the asshole now, not you.

because the sentiment I see a lot is "I don't owe you an explanation" and I agree with that 10,000% !! do not come to me asking about why I blocked you or your friend or whatever else, I will not tell you, I do not have to tell you. but re: the copypasta I provided above ? no reasons, just facts. the only explanation you do owe someone is a clarification of the situation, aka setting your boundaries. no one needs to know why those boundaries are being set, in fact I fucking applaud you for setting them, but you do need to communicate that those boundaries are there.

SOFTBLOCKING ISNT ENFORCING A CLEAR BOUNDARY. softblocking is a petty ass way to rid yourself of someone. the metaphor I often see used is its the equivalent of scooping up a spider in your house on a piece of paper and putting it outside. I don't know about ya'll, but when I'm removing a critter from my home that I do not want in it I am actively talking to it and explaining the situation, even if it doesn't understand me, because I want it to know I mean it no harm and please don't come back. guys, no fucking joke, I wished a wasp a merry fucking christmas when I had to remove it from my house because I felt so bad my cat had been torturing it. wasps probably don't celebrate christmas !

point being, I communicate my boundaries to the spiders I'm taking out of my house like they're going to respect them. ya'll should do the fucking same. grow up. we all have anxiety. we all struggle to understand and accept certain social environments and interactions, especially online. we're all doing our best.

don't be a fucking asshole if you softblock someone and they want to make sure it was purposeful. in fact, don't be an asshole to anyone. there is no valid reason to be an asshole to anyone in the rpc, jfc.

also yes, if you softblock me I will block you, because I do not have the mental endurance to deal with the "they hate me" monologue spiraling through my silly little brain. because too many times I have experienced scorn and disgust and hate at being reached out to about softblocking and that has cemented in my brain, more than the anxiety it was a mistake. like just fucking block me, then.

so like. either don't softblock folks or grow up and communicate your boundaries, idk. and don't be an asshole, as previously stated.

this probably doesn't make any sense and has errors in logic / rationale but it's my anxious, frustrated ramblings so fuck it

final thoughts: please don't softblock me ! thanks

#《 ° inbox 》 we just got a letter ! i wonder who its from ? #《 ° selkie.exe 》 oh im trash just not approved trash #magicveiled #long post // #long post cw #venting cw #venting // #° ask to tag ! #rant cw #ranting //

[subject-2-change]

Which TTS character do you think has the most and least gremlin energy?

Okay so main cast? Varian the most, Eugene the least. But that's boing. I'm gonna go to all named characters:

Most? King Trevor. My man saw shiny rock and said "gotta have it to court my lady" (turned out of be an egg). He dances like a well trained maniac. He pulls childish pranks on the neighboring king. He has a pet seal who he THREW A WEDDING FOR. This guy is a gremlin, just with status and money.

Least? Vex, 100%. She is the most straight-man character I can even think of in the show. Yes, she's down for the violence and all, but I wouldn't say that makes her a gremlin. All of her actions are predictable and follow a nice arc. She doesn't get wrapped up in the sentimentality of the group. I was tempted to say Quaid, but man has a hyperfixation with bees. That's at least a little gremlin. Vex doesn't really get wild, or have a kooky slapstick moment, or hoard things. She's too busy being a bad bitch to be a gremlin.

#answered #anonymous #thanks for the ask. this was a fun thought experiment #tts

[weepingmilkshakedreamer]

pizza t0wer/sugary spire inc0rrect qu0tez l0l

peppin0: n0ize, please calm down.

the n0ize: I asked for two large fries!

the n0ize: *dumps fries onto table*

the n0ize: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

peppin0: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why.

n0ize: Only if you also don't ask why.

n0ize: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag*

peppin0: ...

peppin0, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

peppin0: Just be careful, n0ize!

n0ize: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, peppin0!

n0ize: It's everything around me that's careless.

peppin0: Let’s write n0ize a friendly note, shall we? Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass...

peppin0: Did you know you remind me of all 26 letters of the alphabet?

n0ize: What? Like J F K W S Q X-

peppin0: No, like, U R A Q T.

n0ize: Awwww!

n0ize: *nudges peppin0 at 3am* Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. peppin0? Wake up, peppin0! Listen! They're sexless!

peppin0: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.

pizzan0: pizzelle taught me to think before I act.

pizzan0: ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

*pizzelle and pizzan0/cream puff are cuddling*

pizzelle: Tell me something I don't know about you.

pizzan0: *leans in to whisper in pizzelle's ear, voice deep and sensual* I like Japanese food so much that every time I watch Lord of the Rings and see Gollum eating the raw fish, my mouth waters.

pizzelle:

pizzelle:

pizzelle: I meant like your favorite color, but okay.

pizzan0: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection?

pizzelle: I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.

peppin0: I would do anything for money.

*later*

peppin0, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!

the n0ize: Do you guys want to see a butterfly?

guztav0: Ooh, yes please!

peppin0, with their laptop open: I'm not going to stop working to look at a stupid bug!

the n0ize: It's not a bug though...

peppin0: ...

guztav0: ...

peppin0: Well I still don't want to see.

guztav0, realizing: Please don't throw-

the n0ize: Whee! *throws a stick of butter*

guztav0: Guys, Mr. stick is missing.

peppin0: Good.

guztav0: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!

Mr. stick: guztav0, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.

guztav0: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!

peppin0: ...It was a bug.

guztav0: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!

Mr. stick: ...

peppin0: ...

guztav0: Stop looking at me like that!

guztav0, to peppin0: You have room temperature IQ.

peppin0: What's room temperature IQ?

Mr. stick: 73°.

peppin0: Oh, okay.

peppin0: How much is that in IQ?

guztav0: How did you even get in here?

the n0ize: peppin0's window! Or, as I like to call it, "the n0ize's door"!

peppin0: I’m closing the window.

stinky: Guys, I didn’t memorize my lines!

pizzan0: Just use your lack of common sense! Everyone knows the characters in plays are dumb as fuck!

*During the play*

pizzelle: Hey! You finally made it! Did you get the donuts?

stinky: W-what’re donuts?

stinky: Oh my pizzan0.

pizzelle: Don't you mean 'oh my god'?

stinky: You worship your god, I'll worship mine.

*pizzan0 rushes by with an armful of water bottles* stinky: What's going on?

pizzelle: pizzan0 wouldn't drink water.

stinky: ...And?

pizzelle: And I asked them how fast they could chug an entire bottle.

pizzan0, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!

pizzan0: Guess what number I’m thinking of.

stinky: 420?

pizzan0: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.

pizzelle: 69.

pizzan0: Yeah it was 69.

*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation*

stinky: How do you eat pickles?

pizzan0: What do you mean?

stinky: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes.

pizzan0: Yeah, that's why you use a fork.

stinky: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean.

pizzan0: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work.

stinky: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl.

pizzan0: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing.

stinky: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug.

pizzan0: *Nods in agreement*

pizzelle: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS!

stinky: Jeez, okay.

pizzan0: Quit yelling at us already.

Peppin0: I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood.

Peppin0: I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040, and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong. And the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404".

Peppin0: And I actually laughed out loud.

the n0ize: You have any sunscreen?

peppin0: You can't get a sunburn from a bonfire—

the n0ize: It's for my marshmallow ya dummy.

#pizza tower #pizza tower au #sugary spire #some of these are peppinoise related btw lol #incorrect quotes #shitpost #funny shit

[incorrect-koh-posts]

Count Raymond III of Tripoli aka Tiberias for the ask meme (yes this is an excuse for you to talk about your fav ^^)

All right, anon - here's the tea on my old boy:

favourite thing: that he's both weirdly caring and simultaneously tries his hardest not to show how much he cares. He is grumpy but kind and I am so here for that. Also his sassy eyebrows.

least favourite thing: that he can - often at the most inopportune of times - be very self-serving. He protects the people he loves like a herding dog, but doesn't give much of damn about anyone else. As soon as he does no longer have any personal interest in an endeavour, he's out.

favourite line: "At first, I thought we were fighting for God. Then I realised we were fighting for wealth and land. I was ashamed." A somewhat anachronistic sentiment, but it sums up his disillusionment pretty well. Poor thing needs a holiday - and a hug.

BrOTP: Godfrey, obviously. I wish they'd had a scene together in KoH.

OTP: Not sure. I ship historical Raymond pretty hard with his badass wife, I could see myself shipping Tiberias from the movie with a variety of characters including Godfrey and Balian, and in my AU fic I ship a blend of historical and movie-verse Tiberias with my OC Isolt because grumpy bitches in love are my soft spot, I suppose. So yeah, it depends.

NOTP: Raymond x Baldwin (in a historical sense). In theory I'd be all over this because they have such a great dynamic and I love them both, but the incest aspect is a bit iffy to me. However, if it's strictly movie-verse and not a word is breathed about them being cousins, I'm totally fine with it.

random headcanon: This man is a bisexual disaster and you cannot change my mind.

unpopular opinion: To me, Raymond is the most fascinating character from the movie / historical figure from that particular time period (at least on the side of the Franks) and, as far as this fandom goes, that's the hill I will die on. In a lonely manner. But that's okay.

song: I Can't Go On Without You - Kaleo. Not a perfect fit, but some of the lines are quite Raymond, I think.

favourite picture: I have two. The first one is just regular silver-fox-y goodness and the second one is Tiberias when the guards throw him out of bed at 4 o'clock in the morning to play chess with Baldwin:

#asks #ask games #kingdom of heaven 2005 #raymond iii of tripoli #tiberias #should this man wear billowing pastel blue nightgowns that expose his weird bony chest? i vote no #though the shears are an especially nice touch lol #my fandom rants #kingdom of heaven shitposting

[jrvanfleet]

Angel | SFK

NSFW 18+ Minors, please DNI!

Word Count: 6.2k (I'm so sorry)

Part 2 of ??

[Content warnings: language, SMUT, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, friends), multiple orgasms, oral (m receiving), praise kink, masturbation, dom! reader, sex toys, calling Sam a slut??, heavy FLUFF at the beginning (I'm so sorry I'm so emotional), this is FILTHY...and there's so much ahhh? Ahh I'm terrible at these haha]

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x f!reader

The day after your’s and Sam’s beach shenanigans, everyone began to arrive. The goal for everyone was to get there before 2 pm. You and Sam had gotten up around 9 am. You ate your breakfast, showered, and got the house ready for everyone’s arrival. 

While you were prepping the food and drinks, you connected your phone to the portable speaker and shuffled your liked songs. It was always funny when you and Sam listened to your liked songs because you knew that Sam would make fun of you for at least a few of them. The first song to play was ‘Bluebird Revisited’ by Stephen Stills, so it had received Sam’s little nod of approval as the two of you were cutting up fruit, vegetables, and cheese. You thought it would be fun for you and Sam to make a few platters and charcuterie boards for everyone’s arrival. 

Sam rummaged through the cabinets to find various platters and plates, placing them on the large island. You were always a little nervous when songs ended and shuffled to another, but it was always funny to see Sam’s reactions to some of your guilty pleasure music. 

Anyway… It’s bad bitch o’clock, yeah, it’s thick:30. I’ve been through a lot, but I’m still flirty (okay). Is everybody back up in the building? It’s been a minute, tell me how you’re healing. Cause I’m about to get into my feelings. How you feeling? How you feeling right now? Oh, I’ve been so down and under pressure –

Sam’s ears perked up at the new song that played while he concentrated, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes narrowed while he tried to figure out what he was listening to.

You sang along and swayed your hips to the music while you continued to wash and cut the food in front of you. 

It’s about damn time. In a minute, I’ma need a sentimental man or woman to pump me up. Feeling fussy, walking in my Balenci-ussies tryna bring out the fabulous. Cause I give a fuck way too much. I’ma need, like, two shots in my cup. Wanna get up, wanna get down. Mmh, that’s how I feel right now.

You continued to sing along as you tried to do what you could remember of the viral TikTok dance, earning a laugh from Sam. He watched you intently as you continued to move along to the music. 

“Y/N, what is this song? Who’s singing it?” he chuckled. You put your knife and food down and danced over to him, grabbing his hands and starting to move them back and forth. He moved with you, dancing in the kitchen…or at least Sam’s version of dancing. He was always funny to watch when he danced…he was so tall and lanky and looked incredibly goofy with the way he moved. 

“This, Samuel is the queen herself…Lizzo. The song, ‘About Damn Time’!” you replied, continuing to dance with your boyfriend, “Just dance, baby!” Sam obliged and danced with you through the rest of the song.

“You know I don’t like that pop music right?” he asked. You nodded in response as ‘From Eden’ by Hozier began playing. 

“Well, that was kind of fun…I think I like Lizzo?” he added, causing you to laugh a little.

“I love Lizzo! Bad bitches love Lizzo, Sammy,” you replied, “So that means…”

“I’m a bad bitch?” he questioned.

“Yes, Samuel. You, my love, are in fact a bad bitch!” the two of you laughed together as the music continued to play and you went back to preparing the food. 

When you were finished cleaning and cutting all of the food, Sam made a pitcher of margaritas. In all of the times you two had hosted people, Sam always made margaritas because he insisted that he makes the best margaritas. While Sam was very confident in his margarita-making skills, they were basically just tequila, and could get you drunk pretty quickly…but they were ‘Sam’s Margaritas’. Sometimes when he’s not looking, you or Danny will just have premade margarita mix and you’ll switch it out…in an attempt to save the people who were drinking it. He hasn’t noticed it yet, he just thinks he makes a mean margarita. 

Once you two were finished with putting all of the food and drinks together, it was around 12:45 pm, and knowing the parents, they’d probably be showing up soon. So, you and Sam went through and made sure everything was nice and clean before they arrived. 

By the time you were done with that, you and Sam laid out on the large couch in the main family room. You cuddled into one another and sighed.

“Hmm, this is the last time we’ll be alone alone for the next two weeks,” he stated, kissing your forehead. You looked up at him and pulled him in to kiss your lips. 

“I know, but it will be so great to spend time with your family and the Wagners. My family will be down next week which is exciting. We’ll be with the people we love the most,” you smiled.

“We will, but I’m already with the person I love more than anyone and anything. I love how much you love my family and how much they love you...I really do, but I also really love having you all to myself. I’m a little selfish when it comes to spending time with you, especially when I don’t get to be with you when we tour. I miss having you around me…you just..." he paused, a few tears rolling down his face, "you make me better, Y/N."

While Sam wasn’t normally overly emotional or vulnerable with most people, he was always completely open and honest with you. You could feel your heart hurting as Sam opened up about how much he missed you. You of course missed him too and wished you could always be with him, but having a job and responsibilities made it incredibly difficult to always be there when he’s traveling all over the world and living his dream.

You moved from your spot and adjusted yourself so you were now straddling him. His hands were quick to find your waist, and your hands cupped his cheeks. You wiped the few tears that ran down his face, kissing where the tears had been. 

“Sam, honey, I know it’s not easy. We’ve been doing this for years, and it’s hard...but we always make it work. I’ll be there, okay? I-I'll see what I can do. I’ll be there,” you replied. He looked up at you with a soft smile, his hands gently rubbing up and down your sides. You returned his smile and kissed his lips sweetly. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he said, bringing his hands to your cheeks. 

“And I love you most, Sammy,” you reply, kissing him again. You kept your hands on his cheeks while his hands moved to back to your sides. He pulled you closer to him, deepening the kiss. After a few minutes, you pulled apart, and you wrapped your arms around each other, relaxing in each other’s arms before everyone arrived.

~~~ 

The first people to arrive were the parents; who showed up at 1:15 pm, then Jake and Jita around 1:30 pm (she truly was the reason why Jake showed up on time for things), Danny and Josie came around 1:45 pm, and Josh pulled up just after 3 pm with a very irritated Ronnie. When they had shown up, everyone else had been chatting amongst themselves in the kitchen or living area. Josh cheerfully mozied his way into the home, but Ronnie definitely was not as happy as Josh.

“I swear…every single time I’m stuck going somewhere with Josh, we’re always SO late,” she huffed, giving her mom a hug and accepting a drink from Sam. She hugged her dad, you, Jita, and her brothers, then she took a sip of the margarita Sam had made her. She made a little face, pursing her lips before saying, “Shit. This is strong! Sam? You made this?” 

“Well yes, dear sister. I did. I know, I know…best damn margarita you’ve ever had! Right?” Sam replied, taking a sip of his own drink before letting out a satisfied, “Ahh!” You couldn’t help but giggle at the interaction. 

“Oh baby brother, if I hadn’t just traveled all that way with Josh, I would say that your margaritas are terrible…but given the circumstances, I’d say that’s a pretty good drink,” she said, patting him on the shoulder.

“Thank you! I think?” Sam questioned, taking another sip of his drink and turning to you. “You like the drinks I make? Right? You think they’re good?” he whispered, looking in your eyes.

“You know me, I love a Sammy cock….tail,” you whispered back, trying not to laugh too hard while you said it. His eyes widened and he choked a bit on his drink.

“Wow! Thank you, that was the perfect answer, and you, my darling are the perfect woman. That was hilarious and I love you.” he laughed, putting his drink down on the counter and hugging you from behind, planting a few soft kisses on your neck. 

“Gross,” Josh said as he walked over to the two of you, salty dog in hand. You swore this man brought his own 'accommodations' wherever he went.

“Hey, fuck you,” Sam fired back, tensing a bit around you. 

“Whoa! ‘Twas a joke, little brother. You know how much I adore Y/N,” Josh said, motioning towards you. 

“It’s always great to see you, Josh! Are you excited to relax for the next two weeks?” you asked.

“Of course, Y/N! What a wonderful thing…being able to spend time in such a relaxing place with the people we love. I’m looking forward to taking the time to refresh and prepare for the next shows. Will you be joining us for those, Y/N?” he asked.

“I don’t know yet? I’d like to, but it all depends on work and how much they’ll allow me to take off,” you reply. Of course, you’d love to see them play, especially after your conversation with Sam, so you’ll be making lots of calls and sending lots of emails on this vacation to try to get some leeway. Hopefully, you can see them play sooner rather than later. 

“Maybe we can go old school and play a little show while we’re here on vacation? We can have Dad come up and play with us? Something really small?” Sam suggested, moving to look at you with a big smile.

“Oooh, now that’s a great idea, Samuel. We’ll have a band meeting to talk about it. Maybe we can reach out to a venue around here and we can keep it really small? Like we did with the Troubadour a few months ago…but smaller?” Josh added. You could practically see the gears turning in his head as he took a sip of his drink. “We’ll talk, brother. We’ll talk,” he added as he walked over to Karen, giving her a big hug and a kiss on her cheek.

Sam turned you around to look at him, his hands on your hips, “Wouldn’t that be cool though, honey? If we have a little show while we’re here? Then you would be here for it and I just feel so much better when you’re there. I want to play for you, Y/N,” he rambled excitedly.

“Of course, I’d love to see you guys play! And your fans would freak if you decided to do a pop-up show!” you giggled, practically melting at his wanting to play for you, and excited about the opportunity to see them play. 

After everyone said their hellos and caught up a bit, everyone took some time to get settled in their rooms. Karen and Kelly are staying in the master bedroom on the first floor, and Lori and Dan are in the master bedroom on the second floor. Josh and Danny are sharing a room with two double beds on the second floor that is connected by a bathroom to Ronnie and Josies’ room with two double beds. On the third floor, you and Sam were in a room with its own bathroom, and Jake and Jita were in another room with its own bathroom. 

The remainder of the evening was pretty laid back, consisting of ordering take-out from a local Thai restaurant, and going out to the beach to swim and watch the sunset. The kids were all splashing around in the calm waves, trying to dunk one another or trying to finish the evening ‘undunked’. Of course, Sam was practically attached to you the entire time you were in the water, trying to steal your warmth away, and occasionally trying to dunk you. After a good amount of time, the sun was beginning to set, so you all trickled out of the water, wrapping up in towels and sitting down to watch the sun say goodnight. 

Sam sat down on the same beach blanket you had used yesterday for your…beachside adventure.

“Come here, baby…lay with me,” he said, motioning for you to sit in front of and lay back on him. You settled yourself between his legs, his long arms wrapping around your torso, pulling you close to him as memories were flooding back from the day prior. Sam nuzzled his face into your neck, kissing you gently. You sat there together, drinking in the sunset and one another. You couldn’t help but think back to your conversations earlier, talking about how much he loved having you with him on tour. You loved him so much and didn’t want him to think that you were choosing your job over him and your relationship. You’ll definitely be making some calls during your free time to rearrange your schedule, perhaps even start working remotely. But like you told Sam yesterday, you had some plans for him this trip…and you’re certain that he will absolutely love them. 

~~~

It was a shorter night for the Kiszkas and Wagners due to everyone spending the entirety of the day traveling. By 9:30 pm, everyone was back at the house. Once mostly everyone said goodnight, it was just you, Sam, Jita, Karen, and Lori left in the kitchen. You were sitting around the kitchen island, with Sam standing behind you, his lanky arms wrapped around you. 

“You coming up, sweetheart?” Sam asked, pulling away and beginning to walk towards the stairs. 

“Yeah, I’ll be up in a bit! We’re just going to finish the plan for tomorrow!” you replied. 

“Okie dokie! I’m going to quickly jump in the shower! Goodnight, beautiful ladies! I love you all!” he said, giving his mom a hug and a kiss on the forehead, and hugging Lori and Jita. 

Once Sam was up the stairs, you finished up the plans for tomorrow within 10 minutes and decided to start heading up to bed. 

“I’m glad we have a plan for tomorrow! Aw I’m so happy to be here,” Karen said, giving you a big hug, “Goodnight, honey,” she said kissing your forehead, “Goodnight, sweetie,” she said, doing the same to Jita. “Oh and Lori, we’re so glad you’re all here,” she said hugging her. 

“Thank you for including us! We love you all so much,” she replied. 

After a bit more conversation, you all made your way to your bedrooms. You walked up the steps with Jita, said goodnight once again, hugged, and then went your separate ways to your rooms. 

When you walked into the room, Sam had a towel wrapped around his waist and he had a pair of briefs laid out, ready to change into them. 

“Hey baby, I just quickly rinsed off my body and I’m about to get into bed. Do you think you’ll shower tonight? Or tomorrow?” he asked.

“Hmm, I think I’ll just rinse off my body tonight and put on pajamas. Maybe we can actually shower tomorrow after the beach, and before we go out to dinner?” you suggested.

“Sounds like a great plan to me!” he replied as you walked towards your suitcase, looking through your belongings. 

Once you found what you were looking for, you walked to the bathroom saying, “Okay, Sammy, I’ll be quick!” 

“Hurry back, pretty girl! I want some cuddles before we go to sleep!” he called out as you giggled your way into the bathroom.

Once you were in the bathroom, you quickly got in the shower, rinsed off your body, and dried yourself off. You brushed your teeth, combed through your hair, and put on some deodorant and perfume…then the finishing touch…your ‘pajamas’ for the evening.

What Sam didn’t realize about this trip was that you had planned out your bedtime outfits ahead of time. Tonight, you were wearing a brand new mostly sheer black babydoll number. When you wear lingerie, you tend to gravitate more towards lighter colors which Sam loves, but sometimes you find yourself in the mood for a change. So tonight, it should be interesting to see Sam’s reaction to your barely-there black lingerie.

Tonight, you’re wanting to take charge a bit, and switch things up. While you and Sam could both be classified as “switches” in the bedroom, you definitely tend to be submissive most of the time…but not tonight. You were excited to spice things up a bit and reverse the roles you typically fell into. You’re also both very vocal, so it should be fun to see him struggle to stay quiet with his family and the Wagners in the same house. 

“How are you doing in there, honey? Almost ready for bed?” he asked, knocking lightly on the bathroom door. 

“Yup! I’ll be out in a minute!” you replied, adjusting your outfit and looking at the marks Sam strategically placed on you over the past few days…all different shades. You trailed your fingers along them as Sam called out again, “okay sweetheart! I put your book on your bedside table! Are you still connected to the speaker? Can you put some music on?” you took your phone and played your ‘laundry room’ playlist (an: lol this is my seggsy/steamy playlist), the first song coming on being George Harrison’s ‘I’d Have You Anytime.'

“Oooh great song, Y/N! God, this is such a great album!” he said, his voice fading a bit as he was probably walking towards the bed. You scanned yourself in the mirror one last time and take a deep breath. You slowly opened the door and walked out to see Sam reading his book, hair pulled up into a bun, legs crossed, and his back against the headboard. The warm-toned lamps on either side of the bed moodily light the room.

You smile a bit as you notice his toes tapping along with the song's beat, and a look of concentration graces his face...eyebrows furrowed slightly and lightly biting his bottom lip. He was wearing his MeUndies Stranger Things briefs that matched a bra and pair of panties you had.

“Thank you for getting my book out, Sammy…but I don’t think we’ll be reading very much tonight,” you said, causing his gaze to move from his book to you. His eyes widened, and the book fell out of his hands, right onto the ground…his jaw practically on the floor with it. 

Whenever Sam looks at you, you swore it was as if he was looking at you for the very first time. He always seems to be in complete awe of you despite how long you’ve been together or how long you’ve known each other. So, when he sees you wearing something special…especially if that something is new…his reaction is priceless.

“Y/N…you look…oh my god? You-uh that’s um new? Is it? When did you? Wow!” he rambled, scanning your body and his eyes landing on your chest that was practically exposed beneath the extremely sheer material.

“Do you mind if I join you, Sammy?” you asked, batting your eyelashes and beginning to slowly walk towards him. 

“Oh, please do,” he replied, scanning the hickeys littered along your chest and torso…his hand now on top of his obvious and growing erection. 

You walked over to his side of the bed, taking his hands in yours and getting onto the bed. You adjusted so you were now straddling him and moved his large hands to your chest. You guided them over your chest, breasts, and along your sides…feeling the soft, extremely thin fabric and your body until you let them rest on your hips. 

You reach out to cup his face with your hands as he continues to move along your sides and your back. You kiss his lips softly several times, grinding your hips against his erection. 

“Nice underwear, baby,” you say, giggling in between kisses. 

“I could say the same to you, Y/N. Good god,” he laughed, pulling you back into him. His hands traced your skin underneath your lingerie while his lips began placing open-mouth kisses along your jaw, neck, and chest. 

You brought his mouth back to yours, kissing them once more before you began trailing kisses along his jaw, neck, chest, and stomach until your lips met just above the waistband of his underwear. 

“Mmm can I touch you, Sammy?” you asked, settling between his legs and looking up at him.

“Oh please…please do, baby…shit,” he replied, breathing heavily and watching you intently as you placed a kiss on his erection first through his underwear, and then again once he helped you pull them off. You continue planting kisses on his body, sucking on his skin and leaving marks as you near his cock. Your hands found his erection, gently wrapping around the length of it. You began lightly swirling the tip of your tongue around the tip of his dick, causing his body to tense slightly and a low groan to escape his mouth.

“Mmm please, Y/N…stop teasing me, please. I-I need you,” he rambled, not bothering to control his volume as he was too busy focusing on you and your tongue. 

“Uh uh uh,” you tut, “we’re not alone in this house, Sammy. We don’t want them to hear how desperate you are. Do we?”

“Desperate? Only for you, angel,” he chuckled breathily, “But you better be careful with what you say because I might just have to grab you and fuck you so hard that everyone in the state knows how desperate YOU are for ME,” he added.

You remove your hands and tongue from his cock and move towards him. You bring your hands to his face, cupping his cheeks as you straddle him, your clothed heat grazing his hard-on.

“Aw, Sammy…you think you’re running the show tonight? Honey, that’s so cute,” you say, causing his dick to twitch against you, “Mmm do you like it when I’m in charge? I can feel how much you like it,” you added, barely grinding yourself against him, causing him to moan.

“Ooh so someone doesn’t want to stay quiet? Maybe I should just leave you here like this? I could just go into the bathroom and get myself off…ooh or maybe I should just finish myself off right here in front of you? I can tie up your hands so you can’t do anything about it?” you suggest, resulting in him shaking his head in response.

“Are you going to be nice and quiet for me, Sammy? Or are you going to be a needy little slut? Moaning and groaning at every minuscule thing I do? With every hand movement, and flick or a swirl of my tongue…are you going to control yourself for me, baby?” you taunted, Sam’s eyes going wide at the dirty words coming from the mouth that is normally letting out praises and moans when the roles are reversed. He nodded his head in agreement, bringing his hand to his mouth, ‘locking’ it shut and ‘placing the key’ on the bedside table.

“Good,” you reply, resuming your previous position between his legs, your hands, and mouth finding his dick. You lick a slow stripe along his length and bring him into your mouth, setting a steady pace. You knew this was difficult for Sam, since you are both very vocal in any other place or situation, but seeing him try to control himself and pretty much fail at it was one of the hottest things you’ve ever seen.

To contain himself, Sam bites down hard on his bottom lip, watching as you bring him closer and closer to finishing. He begins to twitch inside of you, threatening to spill into your mouth. You moan around his cock, quickening your pace. He’s quickly approaching his orgasm, you feel the arousal between your legs puddle in your panties. Sam is completely under your control, and you couldn’t get enough. 

You feel him twitch inside your mouth again and begin to let out a moan before trying to catch himself, reaching for the pillow next to him and bringing it to his mouth to bite down on. He releases into your mouth as he groans into the pillow, panting and thrusting himself into you. 

Once he completely finished, you swallowed and removed him from your mouth. He looked down at you and reached out for you, wanting to pull you close to him…wanting to return the favor and make you feel good. You looked up at him as you moved away from him, walking towards your suitcase and rummaging through the contents. He looked at you as you bent over, your arousal clearly dripping down the top of your thighs and he let out a low, “fuck me.” 

“You’re lucky I let you finish, Sammy. You were making quite a bit of noise even after I told you not to,” you say, finally finding what you were looking for. You pulled out a bright pink vibrator wand and a pair of handcuffs and slowly walked toward the comfortable chair in the corner. You turned on the lamp so he could see what you were about to do and placed the toy and handcuffs on the chair, then slowly removing your panties. 

“Since you were so naughty and couldn’t contain yourself, I’m going to get myself off right in front of you and you don’t get to touch me or yourself…just like I warned you,” you said taking the handcuffs and walking towards him. 

“Oh my god,” he whispered, eyes wide as he voluntarily gave you his hands. He leaned forward and you guided his hands behind his back, placing the handcuffs on his wrists and planting a kiss on his forehead before you walked back to the chair, picked up the toy, and settled yourself on the chair. 

You spread your legs, your right leg hanging over one of the chair’s armrests. You held the toy in your right hand and started running it and your left hand lightly along your chest, torso, and thighs. Your left hand found your nipple through the light fabric and played with it gently. Sam was so laser-focused on you that he quite literally had no idea where he should look. Here you were, practically displaying yourself in front of him with your legs spread, your cunt dripping, toy in one hand, and touching your body with the other. His cock was already back up, ready to go and throbbing for you. 

“Hmm it sure is fun having the roles reversed, isn’t it, Sammy?” you asked, loving the control you held, and loving the effect it had on him. You turned the vibrator on to the second-lowest setting and brought it to your clit, letting out a sigh and then turning it up one level.

“ Fuck, that’s so hot. Y/N, please….this is torture, baby. Please let me touch you…I promise I’ll be so good,” he pleaded, painfully hard at the sight of you.

“Aw honey, I gave you the opportunity to prove to me that you could be good, but here we are. You’re handcuffed and throbbing, watching me make myself feel good. This could have been you, Sammy,” you reply, turning up the speed once more and continuing to use your left hand to touch your breasts. 

You knew how focused Sam was on you, but you decided not to pay him any mind. Instead, you closed your eyes and focused purely on your own pleasure...how you would when Sam is away and you’re left thinking about him or you’re on the phone with him. 

You feel a knot begin to form in your stomach, so you turn up the speed three more times, bucking your hips slightly, wanting more pressure against your swollen clit. You let out soft moans as you begin to hear quiet moans and shallow breathing coming from Sam’s direction. You ignore it and continue to chase your own high, pushing your boobs together and squeezing your nipples until you bite down on your lip, letting out a strangled moan.

With eyes closed as you’re coming down from your high, you hear a stifled groan and heavy breathing. You turn off the toy and open your eyes just in time to see Sam…panting, his forehead sweaty, and his stomach being covered by his cum.

“Oh my g-” you start, eyes wide and looking at him. “Sam, did you just…without…touching?” you asked, utterly shocked. 

“Y/N, you were just so….I’m so sorry…I couldn’t help it…” he said, slightly embarrassed at the situation. You got up from the chair, literally threw the vibrator behind you, and rushed over to Sam. You cupped his face and brought him in for a passionate kiss. 

“Sam, don’t apologize. That was one of the hottest things I have ever seen in my entire life,” you reply kissing him again and quickly moving to release him from the handcuffs. Once they’re off, he’s pulling you on top of him, kissing you all across your chest and along your neck.

You kiss each other and roam each other’s bodies as if you haven’t touched in years. You could feel his erection grow as you kissed him. Sam’s stamina always impressed you…he was always ready to get right back into it after cumming as hard as he just did…twice.

He continued to move his hands all over your body, feeling every inch of you. You pulled your lips away from his and said, “Mm well since you were so pretty cumming without me even touching you, I’m going to let you fuck me. How does that sound?” He nodded his head quickly in response and brought his hand to your dripping core, finding your swollen clit with ease and rubbing it. 

“You’re absolutely soaked, Y/N. Oh my god, I can feel it dripping down your thighs too” he whispered, looking at you with a smirk. He continues to circle your clit as you're practically grinding yourself against his lower stomach, the cum from his past orgasm mixing with yours. 

“You dirty girl, fucking yourself against my cum-covered stomach. Dirty, dirty, dirty,” he groans, quickening his hand movements against your extremely sensitive clit. You pull him in for another kiss in an attempt to stifle both of your moans. It’s so easy to give him control when he knows exactly what to do and what to say, but you snap out it and pull your mouth away from his.

“I think you forgot who’s in charge tonight, Sammy. You’re going to put your cock inside of me, and then I’m going to use you to fuck myself. You aren’t allowed to cum until I tell you so. Understood?” you ask, bringing your hand to grip his chin.

“Anything for you, baby,” he replies, still slightly in shock at your continued dominance. At his words, you lift yourself off of him just enough to line his hard cock with your entrance. You drag his tip through your wet folds, causing his breath to hitch. Once you finally sink down on his cock, he let out a low groan, not bothering to control his volume. You quickly cover his mouth with your hands as you’re sitting on his cock, your pussy clenching and throbbing around him. 

“Shh…you still have to be quiet, baby. We don’t want to wake up your entire family. Do we?” you say, looking him in the eyes as you continue to grind down his cock. “Can you be quiet while I fuck myself on your cock, angel?” you ask. ‘Angel’ has been a pet name Sam used for you for as long as you can remember, especially while you’re having sex, and he is absolutely destroying you. So, when the name left your mouth, he was surprised at first then practically became complete putty in your hands. 

You continued to move on his cock, rapidly picking up the pace. You looked at Sam who was biting his bottom lip, trying so desperately not to cum or make a noise. What a sight it was…this beautiful man you love so much, writhing beneath you…hanging on your every word and movement, waiting to cum until you told him.

“Fuck, you look so pretty Sammy…you’re just the prettiest thing in the whole world…and you’re all mine,” you say to him breathlessly, causing his cock to twitch inside you. 

“Do you like that, baby? Do you like it when I tell you how pretty you are? You like it when I tell you that you’re all mine?” you pant, quickening your pace as you near your second orgasm and bring him even closer to his third of the evening. 

“I fucking love it! I love when you tell me I’m pretty and when, mmm shit, when you say I’m yours – fuck… I am, baby…I’m yours! Fucking hell, can I please cum…I’m so so close…please, please, please,” he breathed, barely able to hold on to any sort of control. Your dominance, his words, his face, his hands, his cock, everything about him was bringing you closer and closer to an impending release. At this point, you were so close to finishing that you decided it was time for Sam to finish too.

“Mm okay, Sammy. Since you were so good, cum for me. Right now, baby. Fuck, fill me up, Sam. Cum with me, right now” you instruct, speeding up your movements, your pussy clenching around him. At your words, Sam pulled you in to kiss him…knowing he would let out a moan loud enough that the entire house would surely hear. Together you both came, bodies practically convulsing as you were moaning into each other’s mouths.

You continued your movements on top of him as you both came down from your eyes, his swollen lips lazily planting kisses along your face and jaw. 

“That sure was something, Y/N. I think you’re going to have to take charge more often. That was….wow,” Sam chuckled, “I really like this too, it’s very pretty,” he added, his hands trailing and feeling the fabric of lingerie that still covered the top half of your body. You smile a little at his comment and pull him close, kissing his lips again.

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun with it,” you reply, getting up from his lap and walking towards the bathroom. “But right now, I would love to take a nice, hot shower…would you like to join me, angel?” you ask. He gets up and runs over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“Angel? Hmm, I like it when you call me that,” he said, kissing your shoulder, “but, just you wait until you see what I have in store for you these next two weeks.” 

You giggled at his comment and walked into the bathroom, Sam’s lanky arms still wrapped around your waist as he walked behind you. Sam released you briefly to get the warm water running. He helped you take off your lingerie, kissing your lips once more before testing the water and helping you in. He first washed your body, taking his time to care for each and every part of you. While you washed him, he couldn’t help but stare at you with adoration. 

“I love you so much, Y/N,” he said, breaking the silence.

“I love you more, Sammy,” you reply as you finish rinsing the soap off of your bodies. The two of you got out of the shower, changed into pajamas, turned out the lights, and got into bed. Sam was quick to pull you into him, nose lightly nudging your forehead before he placed a kiss on it.

“I love you most,” Sam said, you hummed sweetly in response, pulling yourself closer to him as you both trailed off to sleep.

To be continued…

#sam kiszka smut #sam kiszka #sammy kiszka #sammy kiszka smut #greta van fleet smut #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet #smut #gvf #sammy gvf

[bug-the-chicken-nug]

This is probably the worst idea I have ever had but here fuckin goes:

RWBY Ren/Adam AU

"Bug. My guy. My dude. My good bitch. WHAT."

listen. For one yes Ren *would* be 18 when this happens. And then it probably takes him like a year or two to get romantic feelings anyway. And two. I just think the idea of them like being forced to cooperate and bond in some dangerous situation and them steadily realizing that they have more common ground than they thought is like. actually weirdly juicy, even platonically.

Like the idea of Ren realizing that honestly he also kind of has a lot of buried misanthropic sentiment and that Now That He's Letting Himself Think About It, it's kind of fucked up that the kingdom not only didn't try harder to protect his village, but also hasn't really made any efforts to try harder to protect other villages since.

Adam pointing out that this isn't an accident, because these villages Also tend to have higher percentages of Faunus, who end up in them after feeling too unsafe and unwelcome in major population centers...

Adam realizing that he's stronger than Ren and can basically take him hostage and use him as a lure/ bargaining chip against Blake and Weiss (because in this AU he should absolutely despise Weiss too, it makes too much sense)

And so this gives them even more time to get into a weird fucked up sort of bond where Ren starts stockholming hard and Adam is starting to genuinely care about him and see him as "different" from other humans, especially as he learns more about all of Ren's stories of also being paranoid and scared and unable to know who he could trust as an wandering orphan, because there were so many people with bad intentions.

Adam starts feeling weirdly almost protective, even if he would rather blow himself up than admit this.

Unfortunately for everyone else, protective Adam is synonymous with possessive Adam...

Ren ending up convincing Adam to leave Blake and Weiss alone... in exchange for Ren staying with him indefinitely.

Nora is of course SUPREMELY NOT OKAY with this but Ren has convinced himself that this is also for her sake, especially once he fails to bring her around to his new way of thinking

So at this point Ren and Adam go on their homoerotic little adventures together and you can cut the gay tension with a knife.

Ren is *kind of* a good influence on Adam, like he keeps him somewhat more level headed, not self-destructively obsessed with Blake, and a *bit* less of an extremist in how he wants to tackle his goals.

But by now Ren very much does also believe humanity needs to be punished and given a wakeup call, even if he's not as extreme in his belief of how this should be accomplished, so for the most part this whole situation skews Heavily towards Adam making Ren Worse.

They still tend to get into a lot of arguments, with this weird kinda thing where you'd think Adam would eventually become the dominant manipulative "you're not even allowed to be mad at me, I'm ALWAYS right" kind of guy and cow Ren into submission

But actually, Adam often *wants* Ren to fight back and be assertive, and is in his own weird way often trying to "help" him by encouraging him to do so. (plus he's slowly realizing he's kind of Into seeing Ren get mad)

I imagine this culminates in Ren getting a Semblance evolution that is basically just him discovering the "reverse" switch on his canon un-upgraded Semblance.

He can now strongly attract Grimm and send them into rages, as well as later learning how to release this as a lingering effect on the surrounding area, and then still be able to use his cloaking effect directly afterwards, effectively making himself and whoever he chooses exempt from the consequences of his lure ability.

#ren x adam #rwde #forgive me father

[icharchivist]

Okay so

Cosmos and Noa reunite and actually become close (Cosmos is aware of Lucifer's regrets regarding Belial, so she's happy to try having a brother)

She gets on well with Rackam, Noa is a doting uncle to Yuni. Zooey is too independent to really need them much, but she likes having a family unit, like skydwellers and often joins them to spend time together. Geo is a whole other can of worms, but I believe his mom can talk some sense into him. He's a teenager going through his rebellious phase

Cosmos also befriends Sandalphon, who's a bit on edge around her at first, but they bond over their shared love and appreciation of Lucifer. Cosmos assures Sandalphon that yes, he definitely loved you and missed you every day and it's bittersweet for Sandy.

Then they bring Lucifer back, because obviously, leave me alone I'm writing fanfiction here, and then Cosmos and Noa, a working pair of primal sibs, decide to help Lucifer and drag Belial back kicking and screaming so the twins who used to be so painfully close before growing apart can reconnect with help from the siblings who never knew about each other but became close after finding out about each other, despite their differences

Listen, they're foils, it's perfect. Both separated by their creator, but Cosmos and Noa overcame their creator as well as their differences and help the twins bridge the rift formed by their creator as well

Rackam comforts Sandalphon, because he hates his brother in law

It's my happy ending, tailor made for me, by me

Also, Lucifer and Sandalphon become honorary uncles to the kids

Belial gets a huge family to keep him in line and Lucifer deserves to have so many loved ones. This is for him

IT'S PERFEEEECT YES YES YES YES THIS IS THE PERFECT SCENARIO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT OUT

"because obviously, leave me alone I'm writing fanfiction here" this is the best sentiment ever, thank you for making it happen in my inbox.

I love it so much. I love the intra dynamic of the Cosmos-side of things, of them just trying to make things work because they're been through enough now, might as well make something out of it now.

And since Cosmos befriended Sandalphon before bringing Lucifer's back, a part of her sees Sandalphon as family yaknow? Lucifer was her closest friend after all and he's a bit of Yuni's co parent (platonically), so Sandalphon being his widower, it's a connection Cosmos doesn't want to let go of.

so when they bring Lucifer back the two sides are strong together, and then adding Belial is really just, the whole Cosmos clan working together to help Lucifer through it because god knows otherwise it'll be complicated.

"that ship has sailed :)" Noa tells Belial when he keeps fighting against it, because he's soooo clever about it.

And with Cosmos' side of the family helping, and Geo being a rebellious teenager but making some efforts now that mom is back in the picture.....

Belial and Geo could bond together. Because the two of them would constantly try to avoid their siblings trying to rehabilitate them, too perfect, too nice, too sweet, and they're both so peeved about all of this. and beside their primal cynism would make them get along like house on fire.

The rest of the gang end up thinking they should probably separate them -- but instead they realize that bitching with each other actually give them an outlet and they don't cause active trouble or don't fight with others people anymore.

see it like Geo being the quiet, rebellious teen who fucking hates his family, and Belial being the rebellious uncle who only comes back to tear the family apart, but somehow, because of that, Geo comes talk to him at family gathering, and they're too busy bouncing off from each other to cause drama and instead it makes them interreact more with the family because they're in it together.

Those two families are linked together by Cosmos and Lucifer being besties, but somehow it makes everything work out for everyone involved.

I love it so much. thank you so much for writing fanfictions in my inbox!

#ichareply #ichafantalks gbf #anonymous