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forevercloudnine · 3 years

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batman forever riddlebat ship meme

(This one was inevitable. God, do I love this movie. @heroes-etc gave me questions from this ship meme.)

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

The obvious answer here is Edward because he is... clearly and pathologically insecure in his identity and requiring outside approval. You could argue he gets over this once he adopts his flamboyant supervillain identity, but as soon as he steps out of it to be Edward Nygma again he’s as self-conscious as ever. On some level his Bruce cosplay at the Nygmatech party is probably supposed to be a dig at his former idol, but it’s pretty transparent that he’s paranoid about not measuring up, especially once Bruce actually walks in.

As for what makes him feel better, two obvious high points of his self-esteem right off the bat (lol) are when Bruce is giving him positive attention in his intro scene, and directly afterwards when he’s murdering his boss for ragging on him.

Of course, neither external validation or murder is, like, a permanent solution to insecurity. Obviously. If they ever got together Bruce would probably make him go to therapy, which would be incredibly hypocritical because, as Dr. Meridian points out in this movie, that’s not exactly something Bruce is doing. Although in Bruce’s defense, if you count the novelizations as canon for this continuity, the psychiatrist Alfred hired for him as a child basically wrote him off as a lost cause that was going to inevitably self-destruct at some point in adulthood. So I can see why he’d think therapy isn’t for him.

"Young Bruce may seem quite the stalwart, but there’s still a child beneath that veneer of calm acceptance [...] The day will come when that veneer crumbles, and the boy reacts to the memory of his ordeal. Such matters may be postponed, but not indefinitely. And the longer this one is delayed, the greater the damage will be to his psyche.”

“Still,” Alfred pressed. “How do you think this will all come out? Off the record, if you prefer.”

Another pause. “I am not terribly optimistic,” the stout man admitted. “But I assure you, I will do my best.”

Alternatively, Bruce just lets Edward borrow his clothes and calls it a day. It’s less time consuming than therapy and both the movie and novelization demonstrate how into that Edward is.

He was murmuring to himself, “We’ll probably be dining at Wayne Manor together.” He envisioned Bruce sitting across from him, and began to launch into a narrative [...] “Yes. Yes. A Party in my honor? I should have rented a tuxedo. What?” he couldn’t believe it, “One of yours, Bruce?” He gave it a moment’s thought and then shrugged. “Why not? We are the same size.”

3. Who is the most romantic?

Uh, not Bruce! Batman Forever is the most thoughtfully romantic he gets in the entire series, and even here his only two dates ideas are “whatever Gotham social event my secretary tells me I need a date for” and “coming on to my date in my alternate identity to see if she loves me enough not to cheat on me with Batman.” Also, he vacillates between staunchly refusing to do any flirting at all and dishing out the least romantic pick-up lines possible.

You say “bad writing,” I say “totally in character for a hot rich guy who knows that this is as hard as he has to try to get into someone’s pants.” Bruce might love his partner with the intensity of a thousand dying suns, but he’s still sending Alfred to buy all their Valentine’s Day presents. His idea of a romantic evening for two is finally trusting someone enough to tell them his secret identity. If he’s done that already, or they already figured it out, then his playbook is over. That’s clearly the only romantic fantasy he’s ever allowed himself.

(I was going to say he does this once every movie, but he actually never does this in Batman & Robin specifically because he doesn’t actually care about Julie Madison. She proposes to him and he gets her name wrong while shooting her down. Add that to the “Bruce Wayne isn’t romantic” box.)

The ridiculous amount of magazine cut-outs populating Edward’s apartment indicates that he probably has a very vibrant and extensive set of fantasies involving Bruce, which is hinted at a couple times in the novelization.

Edward would certainly know him when he saw him. He’d spent enough time anticipating the moment, after all [...] Finally he was going to be meeting Bruce Wayne face-to-face, and he had every moment of the encounter scripted [...] He’d rehearsed it to perfection in his mind for weeks upon months.

In the grand scheme of things... in the fabulous, sweeping, intertwining destinies of Bruce Wayne and Edward Nygma, such a slip would not even rate a footnote.

He becomes suddenly and painfully aware that if Bruce Wayne walked away without Edward Nygma by his side, then that would be it. It would be finished. All these weeks, months... indeed, a lifetime of planning... and it was crumbling under him just like that.

Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean his fantasies are all romantic in the traditional sense of the word. This is a man who was charmed by Harvey holding a charity circus hostage with some kind of graffitied missile warhead. Tonally, there’s not even that much of a difference between his crush collages and his riddle death threats.

What’s weirder, using a magazine cutout of someone you hate to make a pop-up card of their face, or using a magazine cutout of someone you love to replace the anatomically correct heart in the cardiovascular system diagram you keep in your apartment/arcade/makeshift laboratory? Probably the former, since it was made with the express purpose of Bruce actually seeing it. Although presumably Edward was planning on taking Bruce to his apartment at some point? And in the novelization, he actually drags Bruce into his cubicle to look at his Wayne Shrine.

He grabbed Bruce’s arms and shouted “No, don’t leave me! I need you!” [...] Bruce was thunderstruck as he was pulled partway into Edward’s office... and then he caught sight of the shrine.

Edwards’s head bobbed eagerly. Now, finally, Bruce would understand the depth of Nygma’s devotion to his idol. He would see how important he was to Nygma.

Notably, the only thing that upsets Bruce about the fact that one of his employees has a serial killer wall dedicated to him at their work station (@heroes-etc: realistically.... IS this the first time this has happened? i doubt it.) is the fact that the shrine includes a picture of him taken directly after his parents’ death, which is obviously a huge trigger for Bruce’s PTSD.

Wayne’s gaze zeroed in on the picture of himself as a young man.

The eyes of Wayne the elder locked with Wayne the younger, and when he slowly turned his scrutiny back to Edward Nygma, Edward could feel the temperature in the cubicle drop to subzero.

Later, once Bruce isn’t being actively reminded of the most traumatizing day of his life, he reflects that he could probably relate to Edward’s specific brand of crazy, and hopes that it’s not too late to try again (it is).

He paused momentarily at Edward Nygma’s cubicle, thinking about the intensity he’d seen in the man’s eyes the other day. Nygma’s ideas might have been a bit odd, but that sort of passion—if properly channeled—could accomplish miracles. That was something Bruce Wayne certainly knew better than anyone else. Perhaps after this fiasco was the time to take Nygma aside under less-pressured circumstances. Start again...

With any other character, I would call bull on their being this unphased by someone being obsessed enough with them to build a stalker shrine, but, like. It’s Batman. He probably has a stalker shrine to Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman in his cave somewhere. When they start dating, Edward mails the weirdest magazine cutout valentines to his office on the regular, and every time Bruce has to assure his staff that it’s not a ransom letter and it’s just “his boyfriend being romantic.”

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

I mean, by most people’s standards, any one of the things that Edward does in front of Bruce could easily be the most embarrassing thing to happen to them in their lifetime. But for the most part, Edward seems blissfully free of that kind of self-consciousness. He accidentally introduces himself to Bruce as “[extended moaning sound] Bruce Wayne” and shakes it off without even registering his mistake. Even when he feels like Bruce has rejected him and his project, his emotional state is more shocked, saddened, and angry than it is ashamed. He does apologize to Bruce, during the scene where they first meet, for holding on to his hand too long during their handshake. And by “handshake” I mean that Bruce extends his hand to be shaken, and Edward just grabs on and holds it without any motion whatsoever for the entire first half of their conversation. Which might be the only time he ever apologizes in the entire movie. So I’ll say that was his moment of embarrassment.

Bruce only really embarrasses himself in front of Alfred, but Edward does manage to trick Bruce into getting scanned by his mind reading device at the Nygmatech party. Being tricked in general would be pretty awkward for Bruce, since this movie goes out of its way to show the audience how SMART and CLEVER and KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT BRAINWAVES Bruce is at every opportunity. But being tricked into getting your mind read is about a million times more embarrassing than just running into a wall like some kind of Looney Tune. Obviously having access to Bruce’s mind allows Edward to figure out that his former boss/current obsessee is Batman, but also it’s just got to be super weird in there. Bruce is a bizarre man.

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

Whether he’s idolizing Bruce or plotting his destruction, Edward is still seeing the subject of his lifelong obsession as a larger than life exaggeration of the real man. Some of that pedestal would probably survive into the beginning of a romantic relationship, but by the time they got serious Edward would have had to recognize that Bruce has both positive and negative traits. He would also have had to grapple with the fact that the man he once assumed would make everything in his life better is a lot of work to be around, especially in this movie’s continuity where the trauma of his family’s death and his guilt over allowing enemies like Joker to die are genuinely affecting Bruce’s day-to-day functionality.

(A lot of things, Chase.)

Edward’s introduction scene demonstrates that he doesn’t see Bruce as having these kinds of problems. His Escapism Wish Fulfillment Device TM is clearly a very personal project for him, since he, you know. Is kind of already living in a Bruce-centric fantasy world.

When he’s pitching it to Bruce, however, he states that he doesn’t think someone like Bruce would ever need to escape reality (which could just be ingratiating flattery, but he barely seems aware of what he’s saying at the time because he’s too busy staring with his mouth open at Bruce putting on glasses).

(Side note: an interjection from @heroes-etc

Anyway, moving on.)

Obviously we know he’s wrong, since Bruce escapes his reality every night by dressing up like a bat and scaring people. Normally that’s just subtext (or me being cynical and creating subtext), but Batman Forever introduced a hot psychiatrist who is constantly poking at Batman for being a power fantasy created by a traumatized mind to cope with intense feelings of helplessness in childhood.

The novelization makes it clear that it’s not the illusion of perfection that Edward is attracted to, however. The picture of Bruce in Crime Alley is what kickstarts Edward’s obsession, not because Bruce seemed flawless but because he seemed to be going through similar pain as Edward (whatever Edward’s pain even IS in this continuity). So I think recognizing Bruce’s issues would be less of a dealbreaker and more of a point of connection, were they to get serious.

He saw, there in Bruce Wayne’s face, an intensity that mirrored his own. An anger, a frustration at the hand that fate had dealt him. There were no tears on Bruce’s face. Instead there was a smoldering intelligence that Edward intuitively sensed was on par with his own.

There was something in Bruce’s eyes, something in that gaze. There was Bruce, in a moment of raw emotion, his parents just having been cruelly taken from him. And there was no self-pity. Just cold, hard anger.

[...] Ed still had the newspaper with him when he was walking home from school. Not that he needed it to read; the contents were safely locked away in his skull, thanks to his photographic memory. But he wanted to clip out the articles and pictures about Bruce Wayne. He found the young man fascinating, as if he had discovered a soulmate of sorts.

For Bruce, on the other hand, getting serious presumably just means attempting to include Edward more and more in the found family he builds in the latter half of the 90’s Batman movies. Alfred approving a love interest is not quite as tantamount in this continuity as it is sometimes (Micheal Gough Alfred is pretty laid back), but Bruce is still spending all of his non-Batman, non-socialite time with his butler. So if Edward wants to hang out with Bruce, he has to either get on Alfred’s good side or prepare for a lot of “romantic quality time” where his boyfriend’s dad is glaring at him from the background.

Dick is less important to get on the good side of, since he and Bruce argue all the time in these movies (apparently one of the proposed scripts for Batman & Robin was Bruce kicking Dick out of the house and making him go to college, where Dick would cope with his dad-related anger by bullying his psychology professor Dr. Crane into becoming a supervillain. I personally feel like I deserved to see that Scarecrow origin). So if Dick doesn’t like Bruce’s new boyfriend, it’s just one more thing for them to be catty to each other about.

Alfred’s niece Barbara Wilson on the other hand (who is adorable as a fusion of Barbara Gordon and Julia Pennyworth, do not @ me) would be absolutely vital for Edward to win over, because her opinion could easily either make or break his standing with her uncle. Also Bruce decided to adopt her within five minutes of meeting her, so he’s obviously fond.

19. Where do they go on their first date?

Edward’s fantasy sequence in the novelization makes it obvious enough that he would really, really like to have dinner at Wayne Manor. Hanging out at someone’s house isn’t really a traditional first date, especially if one of you is a billionaire who could have taken you literally anywhere, but clearly none of that matters to Bruce, because that’s exactly the first date he invites Vicki Vale on in Batman (1989).

It’s pretty painfully awkward (“You want to know the truth? I don’t think I’ve ever been in this room before”) until Bruce gives up on the formality and takes her down to eat the rest of their courses with Alfred in the kitchen.

I feel like his first date with Edward could probably go the same way, with a few major differences. One, Edward would have been super enthused about eating in the fancy dining hall, and Bruce would have only suggested finishing their meal in the kitchen because Edward clearly wanted to see As Much Of The Manor As Possible. Two, when Alfred offers to stop embarrassing Bruce and leave them alone for the end of their date, Edward would have insisted he stay and break out the baby albums. You cannot convince me that Alfred is not a scrapbooker. Actually, does what Edward’s doing count as scrapbooking? Maybe they could compare notes.

#riddlebat #batman forever #edward nygma #riddler #bruce wayne #batman #ship meme #i do not actually recommend reading the novelization because it did chase so dirty i still seethe about it sometimes #but it did make edward pretty fucking gay #now the batman & robin novelization i recommend wholeheartedly #because for some reason bruce has a huge crush on mr. freeze #like literally bruce stalked him for a while in his 20's #and his internal narration is constantly monologueing about how handsome victor is #truly george clooney batman is canon gay

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theabominableblogger · 6 years

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Rewatching “Gotham” S4E21

*cue both of us with lots of yelling, reacting to frighting imagery, and just being done with everyone*

My sister watched it with me (as well as the other episodes left in my epic “Gotham” reaction series) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font. Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

AN: I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

Sooo... to break your heart, Ecco is not in the rest of the episodes.

Noooooo...

But they [ the writers] explain like why she wasn’t there. They kinda explain that they still wanted to go into the Jeremiah and Bruce story line and finish that.

Ohhhh OK.

They wanted to finish that before they got into the whole [Jeremiah and Ecco dynamic]. Plus, basically what they established is that Jeremiah just wanted her to get out of the way so that he could do his plan and he’s like “OK, then we’re gonna do some shit!”

Sounds fair.

And I’m like “OK! You gotta look out for your boo first!”

‘Look out for your boo,’ I love it.

“Sources tell us Captain James Gordon was at the scene and is missing and feared dead.” Nope!

“I [Lucius] just got off the phone with Search and Rescue. Whatever blew Jeremiah's bunker was catastrophic.” *eyes widen in shock*

“I [Harvey] want CSIs out there pronto, and I want everyone looking for Jeremiah Valeska and Bruce Wayne.” You don’t wanna go looking for him [Jeremiah].

*softly* Nooooo don’t.

“Jim trusts him [Harvey], okay? So everybody get back to work.” Thank you, Harper! MVP!

*Harvey finds Jeremiah waiting outside the precinct* Oh shit!

Whaaa... how?!? What was the time span between these two episodes?

I don’t know...

‘Cause you would think it’s immediate!

Oh I love his [Jeremiah’s] coat!

Uggh. Look at the hat! The glasses!

I love that entire look.

I like the natural lighting too for this scene

“JEREMIAH! JEREMIAH!” Jesus God, he turned them all into stormtroopers!

Ohhhh that’s a great shot [the wide shot of Jeremiah vs the GCPD]

What voice are you [Jeremiah] doing?

It sounds like he’s doing the Hannibal Lecter voice

It’s Hannibal Lecter and Andrew Scott’s Moriarty...

Except without the Irish accent

*mouths along with Jeremiah saying “boom, boom, boom”*

“Don't compare me [Jeremiah] to that short-sighted psychopath.” Dude, we’ve met you for two months!

“I'm [Jeremiah] gonna create a new Gotham in my image. But every artist needs a blank canvas, so all of this has to go.” *leans back in frustration* This is like Theo Galavan in S2!

“Then everyone who dies screaming, who watches their loved ones crushed before them, will have you to thank, Detective Bullock.” *groans*

“Nobody has to die.” SURE JAN!

*eyes widen in shock when Jeremiah blows up the clock tower*

Hoooly shit!

And that was just the opener! We are in for some shit ahead!

“Me [Oswald]? I’d rather live.” *both chuckle*

Ah, I love Robin Lord Taylor.

“They ripped out my [Jongleur’s] fingernails.” *both yell in horror for a second*

“Normally, I [Oswald] would keep both of them for myself. But I find myself a bit short of the necessary manpower- or womanpower, if you will.” I knew you were gonna say that and it’s lame...

“Hugo Strange can fix Butch.” What I wanna know is where exactly is Strange operating now.

That’s a good question.

Because his ass is still alive.

I love how like sassy these two [Oswald and Barbara] are. It’s like, I don’t like Barbara, but she’s got so much sass.

She and Oswald kinda deserve each other honestly.

I know.

They’re each other’s bitchy gay best friends.

Oh yeah.

“Holy Mother of God, Bruce Wayne.” *gasps*

How the hell did he [Bruce] get out of the grave?

God, he [Bruce] is heartbroken! Your boy is heartbroken!

“I’m [Harvey] so sick of that freaking family.” *cackles*

That is a mood! That is a huge mood!

“Wayne Enterprises built those bombs?!?” *groans in frustration*

He didn’t know!

“Look, I [Harvey] know you [Bruce] feel guilty. But Jim Gordon was- is important to all of us.” God, they’re both hurting! So much!

“So go home. Be with Alfred. Be safe.” *whines* ALFRED ISN’T THERE!

I hate this so much

[INCOMING: ALFRED] Oh my God!

“Alfred, where have you been?” “No, not Alfred.” *leans back in chair* SON OF A BITCH!

*groans in frustration*

“I [Jeremiah] hope you [Bruce] didn't catch a cold in my brother's grave. I know those things aren't exactly designed for the living.” *flips off screen with both hands*

Wait, did he [Jeremiah] just turn it off? Did he turn the detonator off ‘cause he clicked it. Or he just set off another bomb.

I thought it was just an intimidation tactic. No, we would have heard a boom.

Oh.

We would have heard a boom if there was another bomb.

“Bruce, let’s get something straight.” Where do you get your [Jeremiah’s] outfits? That’s what I wanna know!

He was already a well dressed son of a bitch before.

I will raid your closet!

“[Jeremiah] You are insane!” *holding head in hands* I thought I was a Pisces...

*laughs* That is the saddest way I’ve heard anyone deliver that line

“Tell the police and I'll know. Just like I [Jeremiah] know that's where you [Bruce] are right now.” How does he know? Is there a spy...

I’d say he’s bluffing.

...on the inside?

*in unison after a good two seconds* HERCULES MULLIGAN!

And he’s [Jim] aliiive!

Well duh!

Leeeeee!!!

God, Jim getting up is such a mood!

He [Jim] grabbed a syringe as a weapon. He’s still konked out.

You are never going to deserve her [Lee], Jim.

“I'll [Jim] have to thank him [Ed] when I arrest him.” You are really terrible at repaying people!

*Jim rips out the IV in his arm* Don’t do thaaat!

Why did you do that?!? Why do people always do that?

“In my jacket I [Jim] got those [plans] from Jeremiah's office. They may give us some clue as to what he's planning.” And you know what, those were hanging in the background in the previous episode.

Yep.

*Jim goes back to sleep* That is the most graceful fall I’ve ever seen.

Selina!

“Bruce, I’m [Selina] gonna be here whenever you need me.” Aaaawww!!

*laughs in pain knowing EXACTLY what happens at the end of this episode*

“He [Jeremiah] wants something out of me [Bruce].” “Like what, to be your best friend?” Yep.

Yeah, actually.

*both gasp and reel back in horror when the first image of Alfred’s torture pops up in the tunnel*

*both immediately hold hands*

“[Lee] You brought him [Jim] here because you thought it would give us leverage with the GCPD.” “Yes.” “By holding him hostage!” *does a WTF shrug*

“This drawing is the key to Valeska's plan. We solve it and we trade the information for clemency.” How good is that gonna do you guys?

*shrugs*

“Or perhaps there’s something more going on.” That’s a safe bet.

Oh my God...

“What happened between Jim and I is over.” *groans in frustration*

“Ed, if this maniac levels half the city, it's gonna disrupt food distribution, water supply, power. The people of the Narrows will suffer the most. We can prevent that, while, at the same time, helping us out of this mess we're in.” OK, yeah, I’m with Lee.

Yeah.

I’m with Lee.

Yeah, that’s a very good point.

“Do it for us.” Don’t kiss him again.

Noooooo!!!

*Lee and Ed kiss* I die a little bit inside every time that happens.

Lucius really is the best.

He is the best.

“But how do we find it? How do we find this brain [the core relay]?” Foregone conclusion: you guys don’t find it.

Ohh that’s a good shot [of Jeremiah walking into the building]! That’s straight out of “Mask of the Phantasm!”

I love it.

*forms an imaginary box around Jeremiah* A LOOK! That is a look!

It really is. With the red gloves!

“I envy you.” You do noooot! Shut up!

“Call our friend. Tell him to kill the butler. He’s no longer necessary.“ *shakes finger at screen* MMM-MMMM!!

You better not! I mean, I know they don’t, but you better not!

Oh my God, I’ve seen this scene!

“Oswald Cobblepot. Barbara Kean. In my stronghold.” It’s less likely than you think!

“And is that my dear Jongleur with my core relay in his hand and a grenade taped to his mouth?” Yes that is!

Holy crap, no, he’s [Oswald] like twirling the [bomb] wire!

Yeeeeppp.

A+ hat removal

“It seems you [Oswald] have the upper hand.” OK, whenever somebody says that, immediately believe that you’re toast!

Those contacts [of Jeremiah’s] are just so unsettling.

They are.

*imitates the way Jeremiah is sitting*

I would like to know who dyed his [Jeremiah’s] hair.

*laughs when Jeremiah rolls his eyes whenever Barbara speaks*

OK, how do they not realize they’re being had? If somebody’s playing it that calm, immediately think something is bad.

“ Well, that and being vastly more intelligent.“ Yeah, he’s basically just telling them right there “Dude, what are you guys doing?”

Oh my God, Penguin, are you that dense?

He’s [Jeremiah] probably calling Ecco. He’s like “Oh my God, can you believe this bullshit?!?”

*chuckles*

Ecco probably dyed his hair. Headcanon. There we go.

“We’re not just gonna hand this thing over and let him destroy Gotham, are we?” “Of course not. Once we get the money, we kill Jeremiah and his people, give the core relay to the police, split the $50 million, and are hailed as the heroes of Gotham!” WHY ARE YOU ADMITTING THAT RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM [Jeremiah]?!?

I think that’s the boom mic. It was a little too close.

They’re saying this right in front of Jeremiah!

I know!

“Can you believe it? They put me on hold?” His phone wasn’t even on the entire time.

*jaw drops when Jeremiah pulls out the bazooka*

WHAT THE SHIT-

*jaws drop when Jongleur gets blown up*

*softly* WHAT THE F-

You realize you ruined your entire plan by destroying the core relay.

“ What’s insane about having a backup plan? Something Jongleur never knew about.” *imitates the way Jeremiah dramatically brushes himself off* Oh I’m sorry, gotta brush myself off!

“And whose fault is it that I changed my mind?” *grabs desk in shock*

I’m altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.

“...kill these idiots.” And he just RUNS!

*chuckles*

Look at ‘im, look at ‘im! Nyoom!

Look at him go!

“Hello, Bruce.” Hi asshole!

“ I imagine you’re wondering, why is Jeremiah doing this?” *puts head on desk* I’M DONE!

“My brother once said, “All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.” OK no, you don’t get to ape that- oh my God, they are literally doing the “Killing Joke” thing ‘cause he’s got all these things on the walls!

Aaauugghh!

*both put our hands on our heads in horror*

AAAHHHHH I HATE THIS EPISODE. I HATE THIS EPISODE SO MUCH!

*Scarecrow starts breathing* Jesus God...

*whines in shock behind hands*

“I’ve [Jeremiah] instructed Scarecrow to mix up something exceptional.” Oh my God,another one?

*slaps hands on desk in horror*

“Your butler is going to show you the path ahead.” *in unison* Noooo!

Nooo, we’re not doing this!

Noooo!

He’s [Scarecrow] got the fear gauntlets on [from the Arkham games]!

*both instantly freak out when Alfred gets sprayed with the insanity gas*

“I [Ed] want to make one thing very clear. If Gotham becomes a rock pile, I mind zero percent.” Pfftt.

“I’m only helping you [Jim] because I’m with Lee now.” “Fine. Whatever.” *chuckles*

You’re full of shit, Nygma.

“ Ed, Jeremiah Valeska is threatening to destroy half the city. You really think I care if you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you and Lee are a couple? ” EEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!! YES!!

The man has a point.

“[Jim] You don't believe that Lee could actually love me [Ed], do you?” “Honestly? No.” OH MY GOD, JIM!

“[Ed] You're a psychopath and a murderer. And the fact that you need me [Jim] to validate your crazy fantasy means that you don't believe it either.” *claps excitedly* HOOOOOOOOO!!!

I don’t trust for a second that you [Ed] can carry on a relationship without hurting the woman involved!

“She’s with me in every way.” Freeze him! Put him in ice again!

Please, God. He did less harm that way.

Can we get back to the topic at hand thank you!

“So you're saying that she [Lee] wouldn't be with a killer? And yet she was with you [Jim].” *sits back in frustration* EEEEEDDDDD....

Noo, EEDDD... he’s saying Jim’s worse than him.

OK no...

*groans in frustration*

“Can we do this?” *raises hands in air* Thank you.

*Ed figures out the diagram* It’s a skyline.

Damn...

“Jeremiah lived his entire life in a maze. Now he's trying to remake the city into the place he feels most safe.” “It's actually rather elegant.” Jeremiah’s more of a Riddler than the actual Riddler.

*shrugs*

*shrugs* Yeah...

“Lee and I have some legal knots we need untangled. Before we spend the rest of our lives together.” I’m so done.

Screw you, Eddie!

I’m so done with you!

Now I’m reminded why I didn’t like you!

I liked him in the first half of S4, now it’s just like “Ugh.”

*cheers when Jim knocks out Ed*

THANK YOU! Thank you for that! I would have done it myself!

*gasps when the show cuts back to Barbara and Co. taking out the rest of Jeremiah’s goons*

Ugh, you [Oswald] are so boned...

*claps hands with each word* LET! US! MOVE!

“IS THIS OSWALD?!?” *chuckles*

*chuckles when Harvey abruptly hangs up on Oswald*

*Jim walks back in* Eeeyyy!

There he is!

*smiles when Harvey hugs the crap out of Jim*

“But what matters is, I have the locations of every bomb Jeremiah planted.” Oh he wrote them down!

Auugghh, Jim, when you’re awesome, you’re awesome, and when you suck, you suck.

*sighs* Yeah...

I’m gonna hate this very much...

Ohhhh fear gas!

Ohhhhhhhh, screw that noise.

*gasps when Scarecrow walks up behind Selina*

Aaand that’s him.

OH HE’S GOT A SCYTHE HOLY SHIT

He’s got a scythe...

LOOK AT HIM, HE’S SO COOL!

“I [Scarecrow] think our little experiment is about to get much more interesting.” Oh nononononono...

*Selina starts beating up goons* Oh, go, go, go, go!

“I [Harvey] need this, Jim.” Let him take it.

Ugghh, c’mon guys!

God, Scarecrow looks so cool...

*both freak out when Scarecrow starts swinging his scythe at Selina*

They’re pumping the hallway that Bruce is in with that [fear gas]!

*shakily* Yeah...

So he’s actually seeing a bunch of stuff that isn’t happening.

Yeee-eepp.

*covers hands in horror when we see more of Alfred’s torture*

This is like a Nine Inch Nails music video!

It kinda does...

Jesus Christ...

*both reel back in horror*

“Alfred?” Oh no, did they- noooo....

*puts hands on head in shock*

Noo they didn’t!

*both yell in horror when Fake Alfred gives himself a Glasgow smile*

It’s just fear gas!

It’s fear gas! It’s fake!

It’s fear gas...

It’s fake, it’s fake, it’s fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake!

*shakes hands in worry* Oh God...

I DON’T LIKE THIS EPISODE AT AAALLL!!

*sighs* I’m with you there...

*gasps when Fake Alfred slices Bruce’s sweater with the knife*

Oh my God, no...

Where the heck are they?!?

I don’t know...

*Selina finds someone locked behind a door* Is that where Alfred is?

“Brucey... give me a smile!” *jaw drops in horror*

Noo...

Nononononono...

Aaahhhh...

*both cover our mouths in horror when Fake Alfred gets shot and goes over the balcony*

“Scarecrow was just pumping his fear gas in here.” *keels over* I’m done, you guys!

*both keel over in exhaustion when Alfred appears*

That wasn’t him...

“Look, I’m fine. it’s me. It’s Alfred.” *sing songs* Huuuugggg him noooooww!

Please...

Aahhhhh....

“Alfred?” Give this boy a hug, pleeeasseee...

Aaahhhh....

I’ve seen this before, but I’m so worn out... I’m so worn out by this episode...

*sighs* That’s understandable...

We have 11 minutes to go... then we have the finale.

“I [Harvey] don't know what it's [the bomb] supposed to look like, but I think it is exactly what I'm staring at.” Disable it.

Could only wonder how stable that thing [the bomb] is.

*Jeremiah enters the room* Hooo... that is such a sharp suit...

*snorts in hilarity at Jeremiah’s little smirk of approval that he gives his followers*

“No, wait, Harvey, one of the breakers could be the supercharge fail-safe. Whatever you do, do not touch that one.” *raises hands in WTF manner*

Well, which one?!?

Vertigo shot....

Yeeeeeepppp....

“This is a message to the followers of Jeremiah Valeska. Jeremiah claims to have killed me [Jim]. Well, bad news, I’m alive.“ *leans back* Hooooooo...

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Whooooo....

“So, just know you’re worshipping a fraud. A pale imitation of Jerome.“ *jaw drops in shock*

“You did your worst, Jeremiah, and I’m still here.” Hooooooooooo!!!

Jim almost died and he’s so done with everything. Drag them!

Oh my God, this is gonna be so great.

*Harvey pulls out one of the breakers* He did it! Please tell me he did it!

*both laugh in relief when Harvey realizes he saved the day*

He did it! YA DID IT, HARVEY!

*Jeremiah realizes he done effed up* Oh schnap.

"SHUT UUUUUUPPPPPPP!” *gasps*

...Shit.

*jaw drops open and covers mouth in shock when Jeremiah starts to laugh to himself*

*under her breath* What the...

He [Jeremiah] just spit on that word [’fickleness’]

*shakily* This music is also very good...

*chuckles* [And he] Runs!

Oh, this is where he- yeeeeeeppp.

*jaw drops when Jeremiah purges his followers*

“Perhaps the outcome was not what we had hoped, - but it was worth the risk.” Everyone’s like “Oswald, shut up.”

Seriously though...

“Let’s go, Butch.” “Nope.” *raises hands in air* Thank you!

“.Ever since we [Oswald and Butch] teamed up, everything's gone to crap.” He’s not wrong...

“Except I [Oswald] do know where Strange is.” You’ve held out on this the entire time?!?

“And how exactly do we pay him [Strange]?!?” “I [Tabitha] can be very persuasive.” *sighs*

Stab him.

I think that’s a... desanctified church that he’s [Jeremiah] in

Could very well be, yeah...

Oh, he’s [Jeremiah] using an old map...

Yep.

“I [Ra’s] had a vision. Of Gotham in flames.” *sits back in seat* I’m done...

Who the hell...

“Together, we can make that happen.” Ohhhhh....

“Well, I [Jeremiah] appreciate the offer, but recent events have convinced me of the benefits of working alone.” You have a girlfriend.

Go to hell, Ra’s!

Just so you know, Jeremiah, you’re holding your gun way off. His arms are like super close to him; they should be fully extended when he holds the gun. Dude!

AN: His hair? WACK! His gear? WACK! His jewelry? WACK! His foot stance? WACK! The way that he talks? WACK! The way hat he doesn't even like to smile? WACK!

“Because, my boy, all this is not just about Gotham.” You are so full of shit, Ra’s.

‘Course it’s not...

“This is about Bruce Wayne.” Because everything in this GODDAMN SHOW IS ABOUT Bruce Wayne!

Gaaaahhhhhh...

“[Lee] Leave Gotham. Start a new life somewhere else.” A day late and a dollar short, Jim.

Wait, leave Gotham? The evacuation’s still going.

“But whatever happens after I [Jim] walk out that door, I care about you [Lee]. And I always will.” *puts hand to chest*

And the actors are married and you can teeeell!

God dang it, I hate this.

FRICKINNNNN’-

Go away, Ed!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO... go away...

Mr. Nygma, I formally invite you to eat from the bag of infinite dicks.

“Give it up for Harvey Bullock.” Yaaayyy! Yes, cheer for this man!

*both clap for Harvey*

After all the shit he’s had to put up with!

“Well, I'm [Alfred] gonna take a very long and a very hot shower.” Yes!

*leans all the way back in seat, thinking about the ending*

Are you OK?

No, I’m nooottt...

*Selina props her legs up on Bruce* Aaawww!

Oh oh oh oh...

Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.

*both start chanting “KISS” then cheer once Bruce kisses Selina*

Ohhhh man... they’re just ticking all the boxes for “How Do We Comfort the Audience After All the Shit They Just Saw?”

*laughs in pain knowing what happens next*

“Why do you [Bruce] think he's [Jeremiah] so obsessed with you?” Some shit!

*both laugh*

God, this was grueling!

*both yell when Jeremiah strolls in*

*both yell in horror when Jeremiah shoots Selina*

YOOOUUU- NO, NONONONO!

She’s fine though! She’s fine, because she has the um, the nine lives! [Selina] You’re good! You’re good, honey!

*Alfred beats the crap out of Jeremiah* Gooo Alfred, gooo!

BEAT. HIS. ASS!

Go Alfred go Alfred go Alfred-

Please, c’mon! C’mon!

*both sigh in frustration when the episode ends*

[Expletive]... this... episode...

9 notes · View notes

lfthinkerwrites · 5 years

Text

A Riddle for a Bat, pt. 12

Surprise early update!

Title: A Riddle for a Bat

Fandom: Batman

Pairing: Riddlebat

Rating: T

Chapter Summary: Two weeks after ending their partnership, Bruce meets Edward again.

Previous Chapters: 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11

AO3 Link

It had been two weeks since the murders that had rocked Gotham's criminal underworld. Two weeks since O'Reilly, the confessed murderer, had been killed himself. Two weeks since Bruce had last seen or spoken to Edward Nigma.

It felt like longer.

He'd spent the first few days in the Bat Cave, going over every detail he could find of O'Reilly's life, trying not to waste time looking at Edward's profile, Edward's picture. That was done.

O'Reilly had been a courier, had served time in New York for arson and assault, and at the time of his death, had a little over $22,000 in his bank account, $20,000 of which had been a cash deposit the day before the bombing of the Maroni restaurant. If there was a direct link between him and Thorne, Bruce hadn't been able to find it. He'd hit a wall after three days. He'd finally left the Bat Cave on the morning of the third day, looking for O'Reilly's girlfriend, but she'd disappeared back into the shadows of Gotham City. Bruce could only hope that her disappearance was voluntary. Falcone had been moved to an undisclosed hospital somewhere in the city limits and Maroni had been taken into federal custody on tax evasion charges. The Maroni and the Falcone crime families were as good as dead, which left Rupert Thorne as that last mob boss of any significant standing in Gotham City.

So for most of the past two weeks, Bruce waited and watched. Most of the foot soldiers of the Maroni and Falcone crime families had gone underground or joined Thorne's organization with little violence. Now that his hired gun was gone, Thorne had seemed to go back to his previous, more cautious demeanor, but sooner or later, he'd slip up. He'd get overconfident, he'd make one fatal mistake, and then Bruce would have him. So he waited.

That wasn't what kept him up at the wee hours of the morning though.

Every night before he returned to Wayne Manor from patrol, he would stop the Batmobile by Edward's office and look up, to make sure that the light was on, that Edward was still there. Each night, the light would be on, and Bruce could just make out a figure pacing through the office. Each night, he'd be tempted to go up that fire escape, to open that window, to tell Edward that he was sorry, to tell Edward that he-but each time, he'd remember Harvey and Andrea and he'd drive on.

Exactly two weeks to the night that he'd called off their partnership, Bruce was sitting in the Batmobile, craning his neck to look up at Edward's office and waiting to catch a glimpse of the man in the window. He hadn't caught sight of Edward since telling him to back off the case, but somehow Bruce knew that he was still investigating. He'd almost hoped he'd catch him out on patrol, so he would at least have an excuse to see him again.

"Master Bruce?"

Alfred's voice on the Batmobile's communications brought Bruce out of his trance. "Go ahead, Alfred."

"It's after 2 am Sir. How goes it out there?"

Bruce caught movement in the office and he sighed. "Quiet. I'll be heading back shortly." He let his gaze linger for a moment longer before he shifted the car into drive.

He heard Alfred's voice continue. "It's just as well. We do have that charity function we're hosting at the manor tomorrow afternoon."

"Don't remind me," Bruce groaned. A charity function was the last thing he wanted to be involved with right now, but he'd hosted this gathering to raise money for his mother's charity for the past ten years. He couldn't cancel or choose not to make an appearance. "I'll be home in about thirty minutes."

"Very good." There was a pause before Alfred spoke again. "Did you at least speak to him tonight, sir?"

Bruce didn't answer.

Twelve hours later, the cream of the crop of Gotham's upper class was gathered under the roof of Wayne Manor. At least twenty people were gathered in the main hall, while others were scattered about the outer grounds. Dick was sitting on the sofa, dressed in a tuxedo and entertaining the younger women with tales of made up exploits and having his cast signed. Bruce himself was in the living room, making the rounds. "Nice to see you again, Mark. Looking good, Rita. Thank you for coming Paul." It was routine hand-shaking and small talk, but Bruce felt exhausted. As he shook another hand, a flash of red caught his vision. He turned around, dropping the hand in his haste. Was it-The man with red hair turned around and Bruce recognized his old school friend Tommy, who waved. Bruce waved back, trying not to let his disappointment show.

"Bruce! Darling!"

Bruce had to let out a smile when he saw Veronica pushing her way through the crowd. "Hi, Ronnie."

Veronica grabbed his hands and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "You've outdone yourself this year, Brucie. The home looks beautiful! And Alfred outdid himself on the Hors d'oeuvres this year."

"I'll be sure to tell him that," Bruce said. "How have you been?"

Veronica laughed. "I can't complain! Oh, it seems like forever since we've seen each other! How's Dick?"

Bruce nodded towards the sofa. "He's fine. I think he's enjoying the attention."

Veronica laughed, then her face fell a bit. "What's wrong?" Bruce asked.

Veronica played idly with her necklace. "It's Eddie. He's been a bit of a funk the last two weeks. He won't go out, he won't talk to anyone. It's almost like he had his heart broken."

Bruce felt his stomach drop. I think he's in love with you. "And you have no idea what happened?"

Veronica sighed. "None. I actually dragged him out here today to see if a change of scenery would do him any good, but he's hardly said two words to anyone-"

Bruce raised his hand as Veronica's words finally sank in. "Edward's here?"

Veronica nodded. "Yes. Last time I saw him, he was heading out to the balcony." Veronica turned to point to the glass doors in the living room that led to a balcony that overlooked the bluffs. "You know what? Maybe you should try talking to him!"

Bruce shuffled. "Ronnie, I don't think-"

"Oh come on, Bruce! You two seemed to hit it off well enough at my party! Maybe he'll be more comfortable talking to a man than to me about whatever happened."

Veronica clearly wasn't taking no for an answer and there was no way Bruce could tell her that he was the absolute last person who had any right to talk to Edward. So Bruce gave Veronica a quick tight smile and walked towards the balcony.

Sure enough, Edward was standing out on the balcony looking over the bluffs to the sea, his back to the doors. He was only wearing a green suit coat today and no hat, leaving his auburn hair free and blowing in the breeze. For a long moment, Bruce stood behind the glass doors, watching the man he'd broken the heart of, the man he'd wanted more than anything to see the past two weeks. Finally, he opened the doors. Edward jerked up a bit when he heard the noise and hastily raised an arm to wipe something off of his face.

"Edward Nigma, isn't it?" Bruce asked in his practiced jovial tone. "It's been a while." Edward slumped a bit, not looking behind him. Bruce frowned a bit, then continued on. "I'm not sure if you remember, but I'm-"

"Bruce Wayne," Edward said absently. "I remember." His voice was hoarse, far from the confident, brassy tone he usually possessed.

Bruce sighed, then walked to the edge of the railing right next to Edward. "How have you been?"

Edward slowly looked up at him and Bruce quickly sucked in a breath. There were large dark circles under Edward's eyes, stubble on his jaw and his eyes, his brilliant green eyes, were dull and red-rimmed. He looked at Bruce with a glare. "I remember when we last met," he said. "And you didn't want anything to do with me. Why are you checking up on me now?"

Bruce rubbed the back of his neck. He'd have to be careful in what he said to the man. "Ronnie's been worried," he offered as an explanation. "She's a friend of mine and you're a friend of hers, I assume."

Edward seemed to deflate, then turned his gaze back towards the horizon. "Ronnie's a sweet woman, under that society girl nonsense," he murmured. "But she couldn't understand."

Bruce stepped a bit closer. "Understand what?"

Edward sighed, then looked down at his hands. "You're a renowned playboy. Tell me," he said in a small voice. "Have you ever met someone who makes you feel alive? I mean, really alive?"

Bruce looked down at his own hands and thought of Andrea, of Edward himself. "Once or twice."

"I've always had a bit of trouble connecting with other people. Finding people who really understand me, people who I can fully engage with." Edward let out a small laugh. "And then one day, he shows up at my fire escape and it was like a lightning strike. It was so easy to converse with him, it was like he knew my every thought before I could even think it, it was..." he let out a sigh. "It was the most alive I've ever felt. And then as soon as he was there, he was gone, and it's like he took a part of me with him." He shook his head. "Just my luck, I'd have to fall in love with the Dark Knight. I must be either the biggest lunatic or the biggest idiot in all of Gotham."

There it was. The confirmation of Edward's feelings for him. This should be a problem, but instead, Bruce felt almost...elated. He wanted to take the man into his arms when he remembered. It was Batman that Edward loved, not Bruce Wayne, and Batman couldn't be with him. "You wouldn't be the first to fall for him," Bruce said. "I think Ronnie had a bit of a crush on him a while back."

"Why am I not surprised?" Edward asked. His face darkened. "Did he break her heart too?"

Bruce fiddled with the cufflinks of his dress shirt. "Not as far as I know. What happened?"

Edward stared at him from the corner of his eye for a moment, before he continued. "We were working on a case together, I won't bore you with the particulars, but we were making progress. He said he trusted me. And then, he told me out of the blue that not only was our partnership over, but he also didn't want me to be involved in the case at all anymore. The case I've spent so long working on! How could he do that to me? How could he go from trusting me one night to not wanting anything to do with me the next?"

"Maybe it wasn't about trust," Bruce said. "Maybe, he was trying to protect you. Maybe he did what he did because he wants what's best for you." That was what Bruce told himself on the nights he was out of the car and had his grappling hook aimed at the fire escape outside of Edward's window. It was for the best. Edward deserved more, deserved better than to be dragged into the dark with Bruce.

Edward's voice cut through these thoughts like a knife and his words were just as sharp. "The best for me? How would he know what's best for me? He's never bothered to ask me!"

Bruce looked at Edward and was surprised at the look of anger on his face. "Arrogant, self-righteous-" Edward made a frustrated noise. "I'll admit, I don't have quite the physicality he does or the flair for the dramatic, but I'm not some helpless damsel in distress either! If he had genuine concerns for my safety, then he should have at least had enough respect for me to have a conversation with me, not dictate orders!" Edward folded his arms in front of him. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out that he must have had some kind of trauma in his life. No man would put on a suit and fight crime otherwise. Whatever it was, it's clearly affected his ability to really interact with people. I wish I knew what it was. Maybe I could have-" Edward's voice trailed off before he spoke in a softer tone. "If what you say is true, then I don't think he was trying to protect me. I think he's trying to protect himself. I think he's trying to spare himself any more pain."

For a long moment, Bruce didn't know what to say. Was Edward right? Before he could say anything, Edward let out another sigh. "I don't want to talk about him anymore."

"Alright," Bruce said. "What do you want to talk about?"

Edward gave him a wry look. "You don't have to mind me, you know. I'm sure Ronnie will understand if you have a few more rounds to make."

"It's no problem at all. To tell the truth, I think I've made small talk with just about everyone else here. How about I show you around the manor?"

Edward rubbed his chin in thought. "Well...alright. I'd like that, Mr. Wayne-"

Bruce held up a hand. "Please. Any friend of Ronnie's is a friend of mine. Call me Bruce."

Edward smiled a bit and Bruce felt his own heart lift at the sight of it. "Alright. Bruce. Lead the way."

Bruce led Edward off the balcony and back into the Manor proper, giving only cursory waves to the people inside. "So where exactly are you taking me first?" Edward asked.

Bruce hadn't actually thought of that. He knew he shouldn't linger so long in Edward's company, but he didn't know when he'd see him again. A part of him wanted to take advantage of this. "I guess the library would be a bit cliche, wouldn't it?"

"It would," Edward agreed. He shrugged. "But I'm not complaining."

Bruce grinned a bit. "Great. It's just down this hall." Across the room, Bruce caught sight of Alfred passing out drinks to the other guests. Alfred glanced his and Edward's direction and gave Bruce a knowing smirk. Bruce ignored him.

Edward let out a low whistle when he saw the sheer amount of books kept in the library. "No offense," he said. "But I never pictured you having a collection this size."

Bruce shrugged. "None taken. Not all of them are mine. Some of them are Dick's."

"Your ward, right?" Edward's eyes darted between the shelves, before he settled on one hardcover in particular. "Does he or you like to read Chandler?"

"Both of us, though that copy's mine," Bruce admitted. "Do you read Chandler?"

"Do I?" Edward said, opening the book and flipping through the pages. "Only once a year. Double Indemnity is my favorite. You?"

"The Big Sleep. I got into pulp detective fiction for a bit when I was younger, after I watched The Grey Ghost."

Edward looked up, his mouth open slightly. "Did you and I share a childhood? I used to watch The Grey Ghost too! I've got a signed poster from Simon Trent in my apartment."

Bruce had missed that when he'd been in Edward's apartment. He smiled fondly at the other man. It seemed that they had more in common than either could have anticipated. "I used to watch it with my father."

Edward's face grew serious and he placed the book back on his shelf. "You were close to him?"

"Yes. To him and my mother."

"Ah." Edward pulled at his fingers a bit. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dredge up bad memories."

"It's alright," Bruce said. This wasn't what he wanted to dwell on in Edward's company. "What was your favorite episode?"

"The Mad Bomber, of course," Edward answered the lightness back in his voice. "I figured out how the bomber was committing his crimes before the end of the episode, of course."

Bruce chuckled. "Of course you did. You know, I've got the whole run of the Grey Ghost on film, if you want to borrow an episode."

Edward's face fell slightly. "I'm too busy now, but believe me, I'd love to take you up on it." Edward fidgeted with his hands again before he spoke. "You know, you're not at all like how I imagined you were."

"Oh?" Bruce asked. "I get that a lot."

Edward smiled a bit. "If I didn't know better, I'd almost think that the playboy image was an act."

Bruce nearly did a double take, before he willed himself to relax. Edward was a detective, past and present. Of course, he'd pick up on things. "I could say the same about you," he countered. "Having an autographed poster of The Grey Ghost doesn't exactly fit with your image of 'genius private detective'."

Edward shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a man of hidden depths. You are too, I think."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Bruce chuckled. Edward joined in a bit. Whether he was fully thrown off the scent, Bruce couldn't say. "You know," Bruce said. "When I first saw you on TV, I thought you were a smug jerk."

"Rude!" Edward admonished. "But not entirely inaccurate I suppose."

"I was wrong," Bruce said. He licked his lower lip before he continued. "I don't think that anymore. I think you're a good man."

"Well, thank you, I-" Edward's eyes went wide. "Wait. What did you say?"

Bruce realized that he'd said too much. Edward was looking at him, his brow furrowed as if he was putting the pieces of a puzzle together. "I-"

"Ah, there you are, sir!"

Bruce and Edward both turned to see Alfred at the doorway. Bruce had never been happier to see him. "Ms. Vreeland was wondering where the two of you had gone."

"Well, best not to keep Ronnie waiting," Edward said, walking over to Alfred. He held his hand out to the old butler. "Edward Nigma, Private Investigator."

"Alfred Pennyworth, the butler. I've heard quite a bit about you." Alfred shook Edward's hand politely, then scrutinized his jacket. "Chiefly about your taste in attire."

Edward looked down at his jacket. "Well, I do have an aesthetic to maintain. So, you've been here for a long time, I take it?"

"Before Master Bruce was even born," Alfred answered. "I have many stories I could share about his youthful misadventures-"

"None of which we have the time to get into right now," Bruce said, almost pushing Edward out the door. "Let's go find Ronnie."

Edward pouted a bit. "You're no fun anymore."

"There was something I've been meaning to ask you about Ronnie," Bruce whispered as soon as they were down the hall and out of Alfred's earshot.

"Ronnie?" Edward asked, a confused expression on his face. "What about her?"

"You know she has a crush on you, right?"

Edward's face turned a bright pink. Ronnie had been right all along. The man was adorable. "She-really? Oh. Oh my."

"You really didn't know?"

"I-well, I thought she seemed a bit friendly, but oh my," Edward stammered. "Poor Ronnie. Maybe if she were a Ronald, but-Oh dear. I've never been the one to do the rejecting."

"Don't worry. She'll get over it," Bruce said. "She'll probably still drag you out on the town though."

Edward laughed, dissipating his nervous energy. "There are worse fates, I suppose." They were about to walk back into the crowded living room when Edward reached out to touch Bruce's shoulder. "Thank you. Not for telling me about Veronica, though I did need to hear that, but thank you for talking with me. You really did make me feel better."

Bruce smiled, but inside, felt nothing but regret. "You're welcome, Edward."

Edward smiled again, then walked off to join Veronica, who was engaged in an animated conversation with Dick on the sofa."

"Eddie, darling!" Veronica called out, waving him over. "There you are! I was afraid you'd left me!"

Edward flushed a bit at the endearment but recovered. "Never, Ronnie. Who's this?"

"Dick Grayson, I'm Bruce's ward," Dick said, holding out his hand. "You're the Private Eye, right? I've seen you on the news a lot! Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you," Edward said. Bruce realized that his attention was solely on Dick's cast. "How did that happen?"

"Some jerk ran a red light and hit my car a few weeks ago," Dick answered without missing a beat. "Want to sign?"

Bruce watched Edward rub his chin. "A few weeks ago..." Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen. "Why not? You can keep it as a souvenir." He leaned down and signed his name with a flourish. "There you are."

Bruce watched from the corner of the room as Dick and Edward engaged in banter, with Veronica chiming in ever so often. After today, he didn't know when or if he'd see Edward again. He wished he didn't have to leave. Bruce was so wrapped up in watching the scene he almost didn't hear Alfred walk up behind him. "He is quite a character, isn't he, sir?"

"Yes, he is," Bruce said softly.

"I can't help but notice that you seem to be in a better mood than you've been for the last few weeks. And I don't think Mr. Nigma's presence here isn't related to that."

Leave it to Alfred to notice. Bruce sighed. "I can't be with him Alfred," he said. "I want to be, more than anything, but it's too dangerous."

"For him, or for you?"

Bruce stiffened. He felt Alfred place a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I know how many people you've lost, Bruce. I know that you've been thinking of Harvey and Andrea. But Mr. Nigma is not Harvey or Andrea. He does not deserve to be treated as if he is."

"I know he doesn't Alfred, but he deserves better."

"Isn't that his choice to make?"

He didn't want to admit it, but deep down, he knew Alfred was right. Bruce watched as Edward laughed at a joke Dick made. "What should I do, Alfred?"

"Go to him. Perhaps not tonight. Perhaps not tomorrow, but go to him. Tell him everything you feel and then leave it in his hands. Let him decide for himself."

Bruce watched for a few minutes more, until Edward and Veronica got up, and headed towards the door. Edward turned back to Bruce and waved. The light in his eyes was back. Bruce never wanted to see that light go out again. He'd do it. Tomorrow night, after patrol. He'd go to him and tell him that he was sorry. He'd go to him and tell him he wanted to make their partnership permanent.

He'd go to Edward and he'd tell him he was starting to fall in love with him.

Across town, a very different man was having a very different gathering.

"Cheers boss," a crony in a cheap suit toasted, holding a glass of champagne in his hand. "To being the only crime boss in town!" A chorus of cheers came up from the crowd of men sitting around a long oak table.

At the head of the table, Rupert Thorne held his hand up. "Gentlemen. Thank you for everything that you've accomplished, but our work's not quite over yet. There's one more thing we have to do before we can truly take over this town."

"What, boss?" The man seated to his right asked. "Maroni's going to Club Fed and Falcone's a dead man walking. Who's left to stop us?"

Thorne's black eyes narrowed. "Batman, that's who. If we're going to be the Top Dog in this town, we need to take him down."

To his left, a young woman dressed in red leaned forward. "I may have an idea for how to go about that Rupe." She pulled out a newspaper from her briefcase and set it down in front of him.

Thorne took a glance at the headline. 'Private Detective Edward Nigma cracks the case of Vreeland Jewel Robbery'. The rotund gangster smiled. "I see. Very well. Stop by his office tomorrow Candace and tell him he has a new client."

#A Riddle for a Bat #riddlebat #oh bruce #you finally acknowledged it #just in time for a bomb to drop

4 notes · View notes

optimisticcritique · 6 years

Text

Gotham 4x18 - Review

This might just be the last episode for a certain character...it is time to see.

Interim mayor? Haha good luck with that, buddy. I have a feeling you will either die or resign by the time this season ends.

Who is the commissioner these days?

At least half of the people at this meeting are going to die this episode.

This woman really needs to chill--never mind. Freeze has it covered.

His voice sounds so much like a voice changer. Mr. Freeze could really say some fun deep voiced quotes with that voice. I actually believe it’s required in order to be accepted into the voice changer club.

I want to know why they chose Mr. Freeze and Mad Hatter for this job. It may not require any specific skills, really. Do they just flip a coin to decide who will go kidnap or murder someone?

Look at this guy. Trying to make deals with anyone who will listen. Kind of reminds me of season 1 Oswald a bit. You know, trying to do whatever it takes to survive.

You are really asking the Mad Hatter to save you from lunatics? Do you not know him at all?

“Lunatics is a bit harsh. I prefer visionary” Well, that is typical. Is Jervis Jerome’s number 1 fan now? He is going to be so crushed when the visionary is no more. If it is anything like how he reacted to his sister, there might be more trouble coming.

“I am with Mr. Valeska one hundred percent” Oswald, I hate to break it to you but...you are a terrible liar. That was unconvincing and you should know this.

Oswald is pretending to smile but deep down he is so ready to be done with all this XD

Hey, I know purple is Oswald’s color but that shade of blue tie? It really does bring out his eyes.

Geez this toxin is way crazier than I expected it would be in this show. I really want to know why Jerome came up with the idea just now. Also, how did he explain it to Mr. Freeze and Scarecrow as they were helping to create it? Did he just say, “Hey yeah, I want them to go bonkers. Laugh maniacally, go insane, possibly start bleeding and change color from laughing so much so they look like sadistic clowns.”

I am just waiting for the moment that Oswald leaps out of the truck and just runs as fast as possible.

You thought Alfred would forget your birthday? I know life has been crazy but he has practically raised you.

Ooh did you buy him a giant red wagon?

Awe his baby bat mobile! Awesome! The fact that he didn’t even notice it in the garage until he pressed the button...

I just realized...he has so much money...how come he hasn’t bought like twenty cars at this point? Although, to be fair, this one is so much cooler and is bullet proof.

Harvey and his liquor.

I want to know how Oswald knows Jim’s cell phone number. Has he always had it saved in all his phones? Surely it isn’t public knowledge, unless he researched it.

“Well, this is a first” Oh please, like you two have never met in secret before ;)

This reminds of the Pilot, where Oswald was snitching on Fish...yeah, nothing can possibly go wrong here.

“Why did you come here if you aren’t going to help me?!” Jim, I think you need a vacation, you seem tense. Also, at least he is giving you a heads up on the toxin that may destroy Gotham and turn everyone insane. Think positively :)

Oswald being scared of Jerome? I am honestly not surprised.

“Or maybe you just don’t like the competition” ...maybe so but does it matter? You got to take whatever help you can get, can’t be choosy on the motives there.

“And I am an honest criminal, Jim” Oswald seems so offended. Like, how dare you excuse him of serving his own interests!

Why did Oswald sneak off? Didn’t Harvey hear Jim say “Oswald” when he answered his cell phone so he knows who Jim is meeting with? Jim is not discreet.

Jerome breaking out a killer dance entrance.

It is scenes like these that make me wish Jerome met Ed. You know that they would totally fight over who has the best extra entrances.

People losing heads? That’s a bit graphic for all of Gotham to witness...well, I mean, as of now. I am sure it is going to be even more graphic as years go by.

Side note: I feel like the pacing of this episode is far better than last week. Less rushed, less story lines that need to develop.

I know the League has major skills so this probably wouldn’t happen but I can just imagine what would happen if someone had terrible aim, accidentally harming or killing Babs. She’d probably still live or be resurrected somehow but I can just picture the shocked responses and the person going “Whoops...I might need more practice...”

Awe come on, let Tabby have her murderous fun!

Yeah, Tabs isn’t having any of this league crap.

Ooh wicked ice device! I want to see more of these cool gadgets that Victor has been saving.

Wait, I know that tune...

Oh my god they are doing 60s Batman theme! This is brilliant!

Now say “Batman!” or something similar.

*stops music before getting to the “batman” parts :( I guess close enough...the batman part will come later ;)

Where was Bridgit even shooting the fire for people to duck?

Of course he wants Jeremiah and Bruce...

Wait, so Jim didn’t seem totally against the idea when it was Jeremiah but when you mention Bruce Wayne? Absolutely not!

Jim, now is not the time to be negotiating with him. He is not going to bite.

A bundt cake. Not really my taste. A nothing bundt cake is better.

Happy Birthday, Bruce! Wait until you see the presents waiting for you today...

Wow, Selina. Way to take away all his wishes by blowing out the candles. Unless, of course, Selina was his wish.

lol where did she even come popping from anyway? Such a kitten, pouncing when you least expect her.

Aww as much as I liked them having separate story lines from each other (just because I was curious to see where their stories would go), I did miss them sharing scenes. Teen batcat is cute.

Luuuccccius! (Yes, I will say this every time I see him in an episode)

Where were you Foxy? Vacationing? Taking weeks of spa days? Practicing better defense skills? Hanging with your secret lover? What?

Yeah, Jerome doesn’t care if he has to blow up any heads. It does not faze him whatsoever.

I love how much Alfred and Selina care about the well being of Bruce...yet Bruce is going to do it all anyway.

“I’m positive.” Yeah, I believe in you Foxy! “99% positive” That 1% is going to get you, isn’t it?

Why didn’t the league show Babs this room sooner?

Wait, the painting has... why do I feel like this is a set up or something? This seems so fishy.

You know, if Babs was still working her art gallery, this would be the painting on full display.

Oh gosh...Babs is about to fall deep into this, isn’t she?

Ooh Jeremiah and Bruce in the same scene! ..And now shaking hands and having a conversation!

This is going to hurt when Jeremiah most likely becomes the Joker. Is Bruce going to blame himself for this too?

Wow, that is a very nice speech Bruce. You make a good motivational speaker.

I bet this guy is regretting being interim mayor. If you make it through this, you may want to take a very long vacation and just forget to ever come back.

So, what did Jerome do while he was waiting this whole time? Dance around?

Wait, wha-Oh, of course Jerome would foresee this. Always be prepared for anything. Impressive.

Hey, where is Butch/Grundy while all of this is going on? He just joined the group last episode. Why isn’t he involved and by Oswald’s side?

Oswald looking at this like “Maybe I can build one shaped like a penguin later in life...”

Hmm...why is Jervis using the watch now? He didn’t need the watch before, did he?

Oz, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to criticize Jerome’s plans in front of his most loyal followers... Just a thought.

“A bird’s eye view” ha. ha.

Jealousy? Okay, I know that Babs was pretty mean to Tabby in season 3 but this just seems like her mind is getting twisted or something... She isn’t thinking clearly.

Babs isn’t letting this all go to her head or anything.

Tabby being so mistreated. She just wants to run a club with people she cares about. At least she can turn to Selina for help.

The two wild jokers in a deck sitting side by side.

Jeremiah rolling his eyes at Jerome is such a mood. I get that way when I have to hear people ramble about stuff I have heard many times too.

“We are practically identical” Can’t imagine why...

Well, I give you points for effort, Jeremiah. You at least tried.

Lucius is so done with this crap.

Lol Jerome repeatedly trying to hit the trigger. Him and Ed should rant about how frustrating that is.

Harvey with his whole “I’ll shoot it down. Oh right” lol at least he didn’t impulsively do it first.

Whose idea was it to leave only two people on there? Did they not think Oswald would get loose and stop it?

Oswald freaking out. Come on, you can think of a plan! Oswald’s thoughts: This is why penguins don’t fly!

Oswald calling Jim for help first because he knows Jim will help. I wonder if he tried calling others but they just didn’t answer.

“I don’t even drive my own car!” LOL I’m dying. He is so not for this plan.

Well, he can actually drive, he just probably doesn’t do it very often or likes to.

“If you don’t, thousands will die...maybe worse.” “What’s worse than that?” Pfft. Yeah, death doesn’t matter but not being able to rule? Far worse. Man, he REALLY doesn’t want to steer.

It seems to me that Jerome kind of knew he was going to end up dead all along, didn’t he?

Oswald’s relief when he starts steering...he’s like “I’m doing it! I’m actually doing it! Oh my god...”

You just know that Oswald is going to want to have a blimp of his own later in life. Well, I can now check that off the wish list. Now, can we have Oswald in a scene with some live penguins? Thanks.

Where is Bruce and Jeremiah when all this is going on? Kind of a shame that they aren’t there to probably see Jerome in his final moments.

Of course Jim would still try to save him but Jerome is like “Nah”. Would he really rather risk his life for all this?

Laughing to his death. Pretty appropriate.

This is sad. I’m going to miss Jerome.

I believe I can flyyy. Okay, sorry. Now is not the time. The slow motion is getting to me.

Now, I am 99.9% sure that he looks dead. At least he died with a smile on his face? ...again...

I know it is all about plot armor but they should really define deaths better on the show. Selina falls out a window and lives. Sofia and Butch get shot in the head, live. Was Jerome’s body just too feeble? Was it because he was shot a few times AND fell off a building onto a car?

Bruce trying to make things right. Starting somewhat of a friendship...that is doomed to be heartbreak.

Oh my god he is still up there. How long has Oswald been up there?

Who knew Oswald would be Gotham’s hero? Go figure.

“Jiiiiiiiiiiiiim” That shot, that scream. I swear it is like the end of a cartoon.

Poor Oswald. I feel bad but it is also hilarious.

If this is the end of the episode or if he is still up there at the start of the next episode, I will laugh so hard.

I just think of the standby pilot like customer service. Standby: Yes, can I help you? Oswald: I am stuck on a blimp, I want off now! Standby: Is it the blimp or is it the zeppelin? People often mistake the two. Oswald: Wha-does it MATTER?! Standby: Please hold *music starts playing* Oswald: *screams in rage and frustration*

Yeah, as good as Tabby is...it is difficult for her to fight against a few members of the League.

Aha! Ra’s is about to come back.

Wait, where are they taking Tabitha?

Jeremiah...uh oh...what’s about to happen? Surely, we aren’t just going to watch him drink tea.

A gift. Don’t open it. Don’t open it. Don’t open it.

You are supposed to be smarter than this. You JUST got back from dealing with Jerome. Do. not. open.

A jack in the box? You know that isn’t from Wayne enterprises. Throw it now! It’ll probably spray you with toxin!

A special made toxin for him? Oh, so it isn’t exactly the same as the other...that’s good to know. So, that is how it will affect him differently!

Oh god... this is about to be even more insane!

What a birthday present for Bruce...the birth of the Joker.

I’m interested in seeing how different Jeremiah’s Joker will be to Jerome.

Kind of wish the season had one extra episode, so that we could have seen Jeremiah and Bruce be friends or partners for an episode before being sprayed. Maybe the package comes in the mail the next day, instead of waiting for him, and it doesn’t seem as dumb for him to open it.

Over all: Solid episode. Jeremiah becoming the Joker is happening a bit fast but not enough for me to be too upset. I have to wait to see how it all plays out before deciding if his joker and evolution is a good one. RIP Jerome, you will be missed. The rest of the episode was nice. It always does well when there are only a couple of major story lines going with all the characters, rather than there being 4 or 5 separate ones. Babs sees a painting of herself and Ra’s from supposedly centuries ago, she believes she has a major purpose but Tabby doubts it, resulting in Tabby being kicked out/beat up by the League. Tabby encounters men who say Ra’s is the true Demon’s Head and isn’t really gone, they take Tabby. Bruce meets Jeremiah, offers him work with Wayne Enterprises. He briefly celebrates his birthday with Selina and Alfred. Lucius gets around 7 lines (not that I counted), where he helps in not getting heads blown to bits. Oswald tries to stop Jerome’s plan, ends up steering the toxin away from the city. Jerome falls to his death, but not before giving Jeremiah his own special toxin to drive him mad. The rest of the Legion of Horribles are in unknown places, I guess.

Previous review: 4x17 Next: 4x19

#gotham #jeremiah valeska #oswald cobblepot #jerome valeska #gotham 4x18 #optimisticcritque gotham review #that's entertainment

17 notes · View notes

wonderlandleighleigh · 7 years

Text

Early October, Gotham City

Early October. Sunday morning.

It happens a few times a year, mostly in the summer and fall. He’ll send Clark out to patrol in his place and go to bed early so he can wake up in the morning, ready to go.

“You’ve taken in a baseball team,” Barry once commented, years ago. “I don’t know why you don’t take advantage of that.”

So he started to.

He doesn’t bother showering. He pulls on a pair of faded blue jeans and a t-shirt, and the black hoodie Damian had given him as a birthday gift that year.

“This is for days off, Father,” his son had ordered. “Do not take this undercover.”

Sometimes Bruce listens to his children.

Sometimes.

Amongst the dozens of pairs of shoes in his closet, amidst the soft leather and suede, are a pair of old cleats. He grabs them and pulls them on,

“Good morning, Master Bruce,” Alfred says as he steps into the room. “Up already, I see.”

Bruce grins. “It’s baseball day.”

Alfred chuckles. “Quite, sir. I have the car loaded up, and Damian and Duke are ready to leave.”

When he gets downstairs, he finds the boys standing by the door, wolfing down breakfast sandwiches and thermoses full of coffee or tea, and Alfred hands him one of his own.

“Ready?”

“I will crush them all this year,” Damian answers.

“You don’t even know whose team you’ll be on yet,” Duke points out as they head out the door to the car.

“Irelivent.”

Bruce chuckles softly as they pile into the car and head to a small, quiet neighborhood in the city.

It’s starting to warm up a little, and when they reach the baseball field, it’s to find half of their players hanging out on the rusted bleachers, chatting and drinking coffee.

Bruce helps Alfred and the boys grab the equipment from the trunk and when he gets to the group, Dick smiles.

“Beautiful day for a baseball game.”

“You say that every year,” Jason complains, but Bruce knows he’s not actually too annoyed.

If he were annoyed, he wouldn’t actually be here.

Kate smirks, adjusting the red ballcap she’s wearing so it’s backwards. “You ready to get your ass kicked, Bruce?” she asks.

“No, actually,” Bruce replies, grinning. “But I hope you are.”

The kids around them all hoot and “oooo” and nudge each other.

“We’re not even all here yet,” Barbara points out. “You can’t start shittalking until everybody is here.”

Bruce chuckles and sips his coffee. Everyone talks and laughs and little by little, the rest of the group shows up. Tim and Cassandra and Stephanie, Helena and Jean-Paul.

“So who are our ringers this year?” Tim asks.

While there are enough of them for one baseball team, there aren’t enough for two. Last year’s additions were Conner Kent, Big Barda, Roy Harper and John Stewart.

“Can we have Barda again?” Jason asks. “She crushed the blue team last year. It was amazing.”

Bruce grimaces. Barda broke a couple of bats, hit a grand slam and ensured his team lost last year.

“She had kind of an unfair advantage,” Dick points out.

“You had Superboy!” Jason cries.

“Big. Barda.”

“She was mad, too, Steph points out. “Like super mad.”

Two cars and a motorcycle pull up, and Bruce squints to take a look. Both team captains get to choose a ringer, and so do both unofficial assistant captains (Dick and Barbara).

Dinah Lance hops off the motorcycle. Barbara’s pick, no doubt.

Zatanna Zatarra steps out of one of the cars. She’s Bruce’s ringer, and he grins and waves a little.

The other car produces Renee Montoya, looking like she might actually be a pro ball player with her own expensive pair of cleats and dusty jeans.

“Your girlfriend?” Bruce asks Kate.

“You brought in your almost-ex,” Kate snaps. “Don’t even try it.”

“That’s only because Mama Selina doesn’t play sportsball,” Jason teases.

“She is not our mother,” Damian snaps.

“Where’s the other ringer?” Duke asks, ignoring the bickering next to him.

Dick sighs heavily, and Barbara looks amused, but also sympathetic.

“You didn’t.”

“He was all mad last year cause I asked Roy and not him!” Dick cries. “I had to!”

“Him who?” Cass asks, tilting her head.

A blur of red produces Wally West.

“Me!”

Jason groans. “Augh. You.”

“What’s wrong with Wally?” Tim asks.

“He’s annooooyyiiiiiiing!” Jason complains.

“You mean like you, Todd?” Damian asks. “You should look in a mirror on occasion.”

Bruce clears his throat and gets to his feet, standing in front of the group. “Now that we’re all here, Kate and I can pick teams.”

“Excuse you.”

He turns around, and Selina steps up, looking flawless in a pair of black skinny jeans and a cute, dark purple baseball t-shirt.

Bruce leans in for a kiss, but is avoided.

“If you think you’re getting a good morning kiss after nearly starting without me here, you’re insane.”

Bruce can’t help grinning. He loves a good challenge. “Alright. Now that we are all here.” He nods to Kate, who hops down to stand next to him.

“You’re going down, Cousin Bruce,” Kate says, poking him in the chest.

“In your dreams, Cousin Kate,” Bruce responds, nudging her good-naturedly.

Selina pulls a coin from her purse, and Bruce raises an eyebrow. It’s a double-sided coin, with one side scratched on.

She shrugs delicately. “What? If Harvey is going to leave his toy lying around when I come to dinner, he deserves to have it stolen.”

“Just flip the coin, please,” Kate grouses.

Selina flips it into the air.

“Scratchy side!” Kate cries, as the coin comes down, and when it lands in Selina’s palm, she lifts it to show them the pristine side of the coin.

Kate groans. “Damn!”

Bruce grins. “Jean-Paul.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Dick cries. “Everything frickin year!”

“At this point, he’s just doing it because it’s funny,” Tim says. “Calm down.”

“Or maybe I’m just a better ballplayer than you are, Dick,” Jean-Paul grins.

Duck grumbles. “I’ll show you a better ballplayer, you-”

“Steph!” Kate calls.

“Aw, yeah,” Steph laughs as she hops over to stand with Kate.

“Duke,” Bruce calls out, and Dick’s mouth opens wide again.

“What the-”

“Cassandra,” Kate yells out.

“Jason,” Bruce says, and Jason laughs before joining Bruce and Duke and Jean-Paul.

Barbara laughs and nudges Dick. “C’mon, Shortpants, they’re just pulling your leg.”

Dick grumbles again.

“Tim!” Kate yells.

Tim grins and stretches as he stands, wandering down to join Steph and Cass. “Hey guys. Nice day for some baseball.”

Steph glowers at him. “I swear to god, Timmers, if you spend all your at bats fishing, I’m going to-”

“Dick,” Bruce grins.

“No,” Dick snaps. “I don’t wanna play on your team anymore. You picked Jean-Paul and Jason before me.”

“Somebody’s scaly panties are in a twist,” Jason mutters loud enough for everyone to hear.

Bruce shakes his head and grins just a little. “Okay. Barbara.”

“She’s not playing for you either, in solidarity,” Dick snaps.

Barbara snorts. “Eff that. Jason and I are an unbeatable Pitcher/Catcher combo.”

“Is that dirty?” Steph asks as Barbara high-fives Jason. “I feel like that might be dirty.”

Cassandra frowns deeply. “Is it?”

“Huh.”

“C’mon over, Dick, let me put you out of your misery,” Kate smiles.

Dick trudges over, still pouting slightly.

“Damian, come on,” Bruce says, and Damian steps over.

“I was wondering when you would get around to me, Father.”

Bruce pats his shoulder as Kate calls for Helena to head over.

Helena steps down and grins at them. “Ladies. Tim.”

“Yes, you’re very funny,” Dick drawls out. “Har har har.”

“Harper,” Bruce calls.

“WINNER!” Harper cries. “What’s up, boss, you ready to kick some butt?”

Kate smirks. “Luke, let’s go.”

“Finally,” Luke huffs. “You guys know I’m a genius, right?”

Tim wrinkles his nose, but says nothing.

Steph smirks. “That’s Timmy for ‘I’m also a genius, and I’m judging you, because you are a horrifically terrible baseball player.’”

“Hey!”

“Alright, everyone,” Alfred calls. “We’re now onto the ringers. Your choices are Renee Montoya, Dinah Lance, Zatanna Zatara and Wally West. Since Master Bruce won the general coin toss, Miss Kate, you can go first.”

Kate points at Renee, and then crooks her finger.

Renee smirks and walks over. “Hi, babe.”

Kate kisses her cheek. “Hi. Thanks for coming.”

“And miss a chance to watch Billionaire Bruce Wayne whiff? Never.”

Bruce nods a little. “Zatanna?”

Zatanna grins and walks over. “Hey.”

“Morning.”

“This should be fun, right?” Zatanna grins.

“West, come on over,” Kate grins. “Us gingers gotta stick together.”

“I resent that,” Barbara pouts slightly.

“I do, too, but I can’t remember why,” Jason adds.

“Dinah, you’re with us,” Bruce nods.

Dinah smirks and steps over. “This is gonna be hilarious. I’m gonna kick the crap out of all of them.”

“Alright, children,” Selina says, getting to her feet. “The teams as they stand right now are as follows: On the blue team, we have Bruce, Jean-Paul, Duke, Barbara, Jason, Harper, Damian, Zatanna and Dinah. On the red team, Kate, Stephanie, Cassandra, Tim, Dick, Helena, Luke, Renee and Wally.”

“Since Master Bruce won the coin toss, they’re first up at bat,” Alfred tells them. “You’ll have ten minutes to chat about your line-ups and starting positions. Spit-spot.”

They get to work, making the most of their ten minutes, and then it’s game-on.

265 notes · View notes

jarley-valeska-blog · 7 years

Text

Jims daughter Pt.1

@goalie28girl ~Can you do a Jerome valeska imagine where the reader is Jim Gordon’s daughter and is really close friends w/ Bruce. Jerome gets jealous and idk fluff… maybe a little smutty?

Oh I like the idea😊 sorry it took so long, I’m breaking it up into parts because it was turning out to be a really long story! Hope you like it!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Honey, could you come here for a second?” Jim asked. I grabbed his coffee and came running up to his desk.

“Sorry, sorry I know I’m late.” I set down his coffee and brushed a stray piece of hair out of my face. I had been late to the police station nearly every day this week, I guess I just liked my sleep more than documenting papers.

“I don’t know Jim. I don’t think she’s cut out for the job.” Harvey argued. I shot him a glare, and he just smirked back in my direction and looked back down at Jim. “I mean come on Jim, look at her.”

Jim looked up at me. My brown hair was thrown up into a bun, and my shirt was untucked and wrinkled. “Thanks, Harvey.” I rolled my eyes, tucking my shirt in trying to smooth out the wrinkles.

“Hey, I’m just messing with ya kid.” He turned to walk away, patting me on the shoulder in the process.

“He’s right (y/n), you’ve been late every day this week.” He scolded, handing me a stack of papers. I walked over to my desk, that was right next to Jim’s. I set down the papers and files that he had handed me and they started to spill out all over my desk. I groaned, raking my fingers through my hair.

I picked up the coffee and walked back over to him. “But hey, I brought coffee.” I gave him a little smile setting the coffee down on his desk. He looked up at me, giving me a half-smile back.

“So what’s all that paperwork?” I asked walking back to my desk, picking up a file. I flipped through it until I found a picture, the guy was wearing a bright blue sparkly leotard, with his face painted like a clown. I stifled a laugh as my dad starting talking again.

“A fight broke out at the circus Lee and I attended last night. They told us to find a lady named Lila. Then when we went around searching for Lila we found her dead, chopped up and hidden under a carpet.” He finished glancing up to see my reaction.

“Wow. Sounds like you two had an eventful evening.” I laughed setting the file back down, crossing my arms over my chest. So that explained the clown get up. “So how’d you find the body?”

“Well, when we went to Lila’s trailer we found her son. She was a snake charmer so when we let her snake out it lead us right to her dead body.” He took a sip of the coffee I had given him. “Start filing the circus should be here any second, and we need to interrogate all of them.” He leaned back in his chair taking in a deep breath. I guess he just realized how much work had to be done.

I started to walk back to my desk but stopped when I heard a commotion coming from the entrance of the police station. A heard of circus people all still in their show getups came through the door. I laughed, turning back to my dad to see his widened eyes. “Good luck!”

———-

“Yo, (y/n)!” Harvey yelled, hitting the side of my desk.

I shot up, suddenly jolted out of my sleep. I rubbed my eyes, I was still seated at my desk. “What time is it?” I asked, groggily.

“You still have five hours left.” I let my head fall back onto the desk, groaning in annoyance. “Here,” Harvey began, setting what seemed like a packet of papers on my head. “Jim needs these, ASAP.”

“Where is he?” I murmured, grabbing the papers, flipping through them.

“Interrogation room 2.” He answered then left.

“And why exactly can’t you give them to him?” I yelled across the station.

“Too busy!” He yelled back then pushed open the doors, leaving.

“Yea too busy my ass,” I rolled my eyes, pushing myself out of my desk.

I walked across the main floor, muttering hellos to the people that passed. “Hey, Ed.” I waved across the room, grabbing his attention.

“Oh, hello (y/n). You taking those somewhere?” He questioned, gesturing to the files I was holding.

“Oh these,” I shook the papers. “Yea my dad needs em.” I smiled.

“What is it that no man wants to have, but no man wants to lose?” Ed questioned smiling at me. He always had riddles for me, it was almost like a game we played with each other.

“Hmmm,” I sighed raking my brain for the answer. “A lawsuit.“

"Correct!” He responded, clearly impressed. “You never fail to amaze me (y/n). You’re the only one who can answer my riddles.”

“Well, I gotta get going, Ed. Dad needs these files.” I said, lifting the files I held heading toward the interrogation room.

———-

I looked through the glass of the interrogation room. A red headed boy was sitting there, eyes red and puffy looking as if he was about to cry. Lee was standing in the corner, while my dad was sitting at the table, across from the red headed boy and an old man.

I pushed open the doors and walked in, earning the attention of everyone in the room. “Hey, I got the files that you wanted.” I handed him the files and stood back in the corner by Lee.

“Thanks,” He responded, turning his attention back on the pair.

The red-headed boy’s eyes were trained on me, analyzing my every move. He cracked a little smile in my direction. I smiled back, trying to encourage him. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to have your mother murdered and chopped into pieces.

“Jerome. I know you did it. Why’d you kill your mother?” Jim asked. I gasped looking at him wide eyed.

Jerome started laughing manically, causing the whole room to shake with the power. His eyes looked as if they’d darkened, a dark look crossing his face. It was as if he’d just snapped.

“Hey doll, what’s your name?” He asked purring. He leaned across the table and I stood there in disbelief. “Yes you, in the corner.”

I furrowed my eyebrows looking at him shocked. I back up into Lee. She held me in a comforting hug.

“Ah! You’re good ol’ Jimbo’s daughter. Eh?” He asked giddily.

Police soon started flooding the room, placing handcuffs on Jerome. The whole time he was laughing looking at me. Jim’s jaw was locked and his eyes were fixated on Jerome. He was standing in front of Lee and me so Jerome couldn’t see us.

“Don’t worry doll! I’ll get out, and when I do I’ll come back for you!” Jerome yelled as he was dragged down the hallway, pulling against the police. I shivered, looking down the hallway as he cackled maniacally.

“Don’t worry (y/n), it’ll be alright. He’s heading to Arkham and won’t be out for a long time.” Jim said encouragingly as he pulled me into his arms, crushing me in a tight hug.

I just nodded in return, unable to think of anything other than that laugh and smile.

—–(A couple months later)—–

“Hi Alfred, how are you?” I asked. I had just arrived at Wayne Manor. Bruce and I had been good friends ever since his parent’s death. He was always in and out of the precinct being asked questions about his mother and father’s death. I was always there, talking to him, eating with him, or sometimes just sitting there comforting him. I was a few years older than him but that made no difference we were as close as could be.

“Ah miss (L/n), what a delight.” Alfred greeted, slightly bowing.

“So what’s up? Anything new happening around here?” I smiled, as he invited me inside.

“Well, Master Wayne has decided to take an interest in fighting.” He explained as I nodded in response. He took my coat from me, setting it down on a chair. “Shall I call him down for you?”

“Yes, thank you, Alfred.”

As I waited for Bruce to come down I decided to explore the house a bit. I picked up a picture framed, dusting off the sides of it and setting it back down. It was a portrait of their family, everyone, happy and smiling. I smiled sadly, I can’t imagine how it would feel to lose both your parents and actually witness them dying together. Now on the other hand that Jerome boy murdered his mother, and yes she didn’t sound like the nicest lady but still it was terrible.

“(Y/n)?” Bruce asked from behind me.

“Hey, Bruce!” I walked over to him, giving him a hug. “How’s everything? Alfred told me you’re taking fighting lessons now?”

He nodded walking me over to the couch where we talked about everything that had been happening recently. I told him about my job at the police station and how I may be fired because I’d been late nearly every day this past week. He told me about this new girl he met, Selina, and how he didn’t know how to talk to her. Our talk was interrupted by my phone going off. It was my dad.

“(Y/n)!” He sounded frantic as he continued. “Where are you?”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Wayne Manor, why?”

“You need to get home now.” He ordered. Bruce gave me a questioning look as he sat on the couch, I just shrugged in response. “Jerome escaped Arkham last night.”

I gasped, putting my hand over my mouth. “What?” I whispered in disbelief.

“Yes, come home now!” He finished, hanging up the phone.

“What’s wrong?” Bruce asked walking over to me.

“Dad wants me to go home, family emergency.” I lied walking up to him, hugging him. I grabbed my coat, waved goodbye to Alfred and hopped in my car.

#jerome valeska #gotham #gotham imagine #gotham edit #jerome imagine #jerome x reader #jerome one shot #jim gordan #arkham #police #love #harvey bullock #edward nygma #lee tompkins

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