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loserholland · 4 years

Text

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐲

Pairing ➺ Spencer Reid x SSA!Reader

Warning ➺ None really, just flashbacks to episodes from season 7

Word Count ➺ 6,408

Summary ➺ When the Reader needs a date to her sister’s wedding, Spencer volunteers to be her date.

A/N ➺ Please enjoy! Maybe I’ll do a part two, who knows! But the bold text are the readers thoughts (:

✿ 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ✿ - @loveyathreethousand @taronxfiction @killerqueen-gunpowdergelatine@spideyyypeter @lou-la-lou @babebenhardy @rivervixenbaby @acklesholland@zabdisamor @keepingupwiththehollands @sweet666pea @sspider-parker@jackiehollanderr @caro0512 @thewinchesterchronicles @cporter003@kisses-holland @spideysnugget @cryszus @sunflowerharrystyles@peterunderoos @jessybellsworld @spider-mendes @ohbabycal

@nerdgirljen

@iloveyou3000morgan @random-things-i-love

*The strike through your name just means I couldn’t tag you, please message me if anything*

☞ Masterlist ☜

“Shots!”

Garcia shouted as she placed a the tray onto the table of the booth, it had been one hell of a long week and they finally had a free night. And with a free night meant head to the local bar make it one hell of a night.

Everyone reached for a shot glass whereas Reid raised his glass of Arnold Palmer.

The bar was slightly packed, mostly by FBI agents, the sound of music plus the amount of chatter in the club brought a smile to everyone’s faces. It’s been a while since they had gone to the bar as a team.

The booth was filled with laughter, the team had been talking about anything and everything, passing around jokes about one another.

Originally it was supposed to be a girls night, but the boys had begged that they allow we allow them to join. Well Rossi and Morgan were the ones who pleaded and insisted on dragging Reid and Hotch along.

(Y/N) felt her phone vibrate causing her to bring it out of her pocket wondering who was texting her at this time.

𝘚𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘰’𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦?

She groaned loudly reaching for another shot placing her phone face down on the table. Morgan raised his brows lightly noticing her sudden mood change.

“What’s up with you (Y/L/N)?”

(Y/N) leaned back into the booth drawing out a long sigh before answering “Nothing, my sister was just asking who’s my date to her wedding which is next week.”

Rossi chuckled lightly before asking, “Who’s the lucky fellow?”

Yeah that’s the thing

There was no lucky fellow.

“Funny story..”

The team had just gotten back from Atlantic city. It was one of those cases where Hotch had given the team a long weekend off.

(Y/N) sighed lightly opening the door to her apartment kicking her boots off as she entered and locking the door behind her. Shrugging her coat off and placing it on the coat rack, she walked over to the kitchen placing the stacks of mail she had gotten before coming upstairs.

After one hell of a week, she opened a new bottle of red wine and poured it into a glass before heading into her room for a nice hot bath.Once she was done relaxing she headed back into the kitchen, sorting through her mail till she stumbled upon a wedding invitation.

𝗝𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗱𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗥𝘆𝗮𝗻 𝗔𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗲𝘁 (𝗬/𝗟/𝗡)

“𝘋𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘴”

“𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴”

“Are you bringing a date?” (Y/N) mumbled to herself as she read the options to check off, of course only Scarlet would want to include that.

Not, number attending but are you bringing a date. Letting out a deep sigh her eyes gaze over to the pictures scattered over the fridge. (Y/N) was the second oldest of four siblings. She was the one out of four siblings to not be:

One- Married

Two-Soon to be married

and Three

Recently engaged.

Without thinking, she grabbed a pen and checked off to where we are now.

Morgan bursted into a fit of laugher before saying in between breathes “So, what I’m hearing is you don’t have a date?”

She glared at Morgan sticking her tongue out at him like a five year old child. It was already bad enough that every time she goes home to visit her family will ask: “Found anyone special?”

“Yeah, I don’t.”

It was a simple mistake, and well that simple mistake left her with no date. The last thing she wanted was to text her sister, “I actually have no date lmao.” because if that were to happen bridezilla would make quite the show. And she’d also never hear the end of that. Now, she has a week to find a date. That can’t be that hard right? Just who?

Morgan could barley catch his breath, (Y/N) kicked his ankle in annoyance “It’s not funny Derek! All I hear from my aunts are, oh you’ll find someone sweetie or you’re getting order you’ll find someone soon enough!” she leaned her head against the wall continuing to glare at Morgan.

“I could be your date.” Spencer spoke up trying to ease the tension that filled the booth.

Emily used her foot to nudge (Y/N) leg, she glared at the woman sitting across from her who wore an amused smile. (Y/N) glanced over at Penelope and JJ who also had the same expression on their face.

His brows furrowed, he didn’t see anything wrong with what he offered so- why was everyone staring?

“What? I-It was a suggestion.. that’s all.” His nose crinkled as he spoke pressing his lips into a thin line focusing his attention to the table in front of him.

Spencer may have an IQ of 187, and (Y/N) may be the youngest and second smartest of the team. These two are blind. Literally blind. It was quite obvious that boy wonder and miss.young and beautiful (well said from the one and only Penelope Garcia) have feelings for one another.

If there was someone who can talk Spencer down, to get him to bring his walls down, it was (Y/N). Just a few months ago when everyone found out that Emily was in fact alive and not dead, everyone was happy that she was alive but that also came with being questioned by the Senate Committee for our retaliatory action.

But before Emily had came back everyone was dealing with her death differently.

There are five stages of grief:

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

With those five stages, everyone deals with their emotions differently. (Y/N) and Garcia did as much as they could to honor Emily’s name. Whereas Morgan felt guilty, telling himself he if he were there a second early he could’ve saved her. Spencer took it the hardest, he had gone to JJ’s house crying for almost 10 weeks.

Now with Emily back, the team felt back to normal. Well, some what back to normal. We had been called to Oklahoma, and it wouldn’t be a lie to say Spencer was not Spencer adding into the conversation or throwing in "Did you know.. facts”

He was quiet, distant.

“It’s too late alright!”

“Reid?” Emily spoke only watching as walked away.

(Y/N) looked at Hotch before saying “I’ll go talk to him.” giving her a nod of approval she grabbed one of the car keys and headed out towards Spencer.

Running out she watched as he continued to walk away, “Spencer!” she shouted yet no response.

“Spencer Walter Reid!”

Nothing

“Reid!”

The nearly 6’1 genius continued to walk away ignoring your calls.

“Hey loverboy! I am talking to you! You know I don’t like being ignored!”

Spencer stopped in his tracks throwing his head back lightly “I don’t want to talk.” he spoke without turning around.

The heels of her boots clicked against the sidewalk once she was next to him she linked her arm with his pulling him towards one of the SUVS.

“Who said I wanted to talk? What if I wanted to get some coffee.”

Luckily there was a coffee shop that was a few blocks down the road, the car ride was silent- comfortable silence. (Y/N) never pushed Spencer to talk, she waited patiently for him to bring it up on his own.

In which, he did.

“I cried.. for ten weeks (Y/N).. ten weeks back to back.”

His voice barley above a whisper.

(Y/N) brought her right hand forward taking ahold of his left giving him a reassuring squeeze.

“Spencer, Hotch and JJ kept Emily safe. The less people knew that Emily was alive, the better because Doyle was still out there. If he found out Emily was still alive, he would’ve gone after not only Emily but the rest of the team as well. Trust me, it’s odd to have Emily back I mean we ‘buried’ her for christ sakes. But she’s here, with us again. Not six feet. under. I can’t speak for JJ but, I know she never meant to intentionally hurt your feelings or make you feel vulnerable. We were bound to find out sooner or later Spence.”

Truth be told, (Y/N) hated seeing Spencer sad and angry. Something she never saw all that often but knew him being sad made her feel sad.

They had spent an hour an a half in the coffee shop, now they were walking back into the station. Slowly Spencer had opened up more, she let him go uninterrupted allowing him to speak as she listened.

“Thank you by the way.”

(Y/N) smiled nudging him with her elbow, “Anytime loverboy.”

"Look at pretty boy go!” Morgan chuckled raising his enclosed fist towards Spencer who awkwardly fist bumped him back. She watched as he pursed his lip his gaze fixed on his drink avoiding eye contact with the rest of the team and especially (Y/N).

Hotch sighed lightly glancing at his phone before giving Rossi a nod, “I better get going, I don’t want Jessica to stay too late. Have a nice weekend guys, I don’t want to see any of you at the office.”

It was just fifteen minutes past eleven and everyone was ready to head home and call it a night. Stepping out of the nearly now packed bar greeted by the cool air of Washington D.C. They had bid their goodbyes and headed to their cars.

All she could think about was what Spencer had said, “I could be your date.” I mean, there is no problem with him being her date right? Beside the fact that you have a huge fat third grade crush on boy genius.

Once she got home she kicked off her boots padding over to the kitchen for a glass of water placing her belongings on her couch. A loud ding echoed throughout her apartment, it may be her sister again wondering who her date is.

Grabbing her phone out of her purse the notification flashed across the screen:

A message from Scarlet. Swiping her thumb across the screen unlocking her phone to read the message.

𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰? 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘰'𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦?

𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦?

𝘊𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸.

𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘭?

𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰?

𝘐'𝘮 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥, 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦.

𝘗𝘴, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘢𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦!

“Love you too whore.” (Y/N) mumbled placing her phone onto the coffee table walking away to her room to get changed. Another loud ding caught her attention, “I thought she was going to sleep?” (Y/N) thought to herself.

Instead it was a message from Emily.

𝘚𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘦𝘴! 𝘛𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦!!

Plopping herself onto her couch running her fingers through her hair.

He’s awake right? I mean it’s only twelve-fifteen? She held her phone in her hand tapping it lightly against her thigh contemplating whether or not to call him.

“Just call him.” she mumbled to herself

Her family didn’t have any problems with Spencer. The one thing she’ll never forget is when he had told you father "The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss." The look on your fathers face was priceless.

Besides that her family had no problems with Spencer. They just describe him as being bit awkward and rambles on about well anything. It’s almost been four years since she joined the BAU. She was lucky enough to join at the age of twenty-three. And she’s been with them ever since.

When (Y/N) first joined the team Jason Gideon had just recently retired and David Rossi had returned voluntarily. You know that new kid feeling? New school, fresh faces, no friends? Yeah, that was the was her current feeling.

(Y/N) had barley gotten any sleep the night before. She felt anxious, tossing and turning the almost the entire night only to get about three hours of sleep. She had gotten up thirty minutes before her alarm, and had gotten there thirty minutes early.

Now she was currently sitting in SSA Aaron Hotchner’s office. You’ve heard many amazing things about his team, they are truly one of the best. Brushing her hands against her skirt for what felt like the hundredth time.

Pull yourself together, there’s nothing to be worried about.

“Agent (Y/L/N), would you like to meet the team?” Hotch spoke, (Y/N) turned her attention to the door giving him a nod of approval. Standing from her seat she followed him into the conference room.

“You’ll be fine.”

(Y/N) chuckled lightly, “Sorry, I’m just extremely nervous.” he smiled lightly opening the door to the conference room, the only person she knew was David Rossi, the BAU wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Gideon and Rossi.

“SSA (Y/L/N), this is SSA-”

“David Rossi, I’ve read your books and they are magnificent.” Rossi chuckled lightly sticking his hand out for her to shake in which (Y/N) gladly shook. She had just met one of the greatest profilers of all time.

(Y/N) looked up at Hotch before quickly apologizing “This is SSA Prentiss.” The beautiful raven haired woman smiled “Emily, nice to meet you.” moving to the man standing next to her “SSA Morgan.” he smiled shaking her hand “Derek.”

“(Y/N).” she replied.

“Our Communications Liaison Jennifer Jareau.”

“You can call me JJ.”

“Our tech analysis Penelope Garcia.”

Finally, the last person whom she had grown closes too.

“And Doctor Spencer Reid.”

That was your team. And they were more welcoming than you thought they would be, they were your second family. If you guys weren’t on a case, you’d be at the bar raking up Rossi’s tab. You were able to talk to them about almost anything, if you needed time off Hotch understood.

The first year she had worked with the team, they were very welcoming. Hotch had partnered you with Spencer most of the time, either you two would check out the M.E or stay back at the police department. It was safe to say it was a bit awkward at first when you were partnered with Spencer. But, she wouldn’t have wanted to be partnered with anyone else.

“Hello?”

Shit! He’s awake. Wait, when did I call him up?

“(Y/N)?”

Say something, he knows you’re on the other end of the line.

“Are you okay?’

Are you having a stroke right now? Say something!

“H-hi, sorry to bother you so late.”

It was fifteen minutes to one, did it really take me almost thirty minutes to call him?

“It’s fine, just getting a little bit of reading in. Did you need something?”

She bit the bottom of her lip getting up from her seat on her couch, just say it! Tell him you’d love to have him as a date.

“If your offer still stands.. I’d love to have you be my date.” she paced around her living room. Please say yes, this would be totally awkward if you said no but- you did offer to be my date?

Spencer smiled widely “Yes! I-I mean of course, I mean- I’d love to accompany you.” though (Y/N) couldn’t see him she knew he had his hand covered over his eyes mentally curing at himself.

“Great! I’ll text you the details tomorrow? Thank you again Spencer, I appreciate it.”

“Y-yeah cool cool, um good night, sleep tight.. don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

He could be such a dork sometimes. A cute dork. Rambling on until someone says something or he’d catch himself and apologize. Usually the team would exchange looks but, you’d sit there listening intently. It’s amazing that someone so young has already three PhD’s and as the genius said himself “I just keep getting PhD’s”

“Good night loverboy.”

Spencer had his nicknames, from Pretty boy, boy wonder, kid, doc etc.

Loverboy however, kinda just slipped. They had been working a case and Spencer was deep in his thoughts, she had been trying to get his attention for the last five minutes. When she had said it, he cheeks were painted a deep shade of red. Ever since then, the nickname just stuck.

(Y/N) tossed her phone onto the couch squealing loudly, surely enough she knew one of her neighbors would file a complaint against her but she didn’t care. All she cared about was the fact that Spencer Reid was her wedding date, and she couldn’t be more excited.

The entertainment capital of the world

Sin city

Fabulous Las Vegas.

Home to Spencer and (Y/N), the two were going to be staying with her parents since they live the closes to the venue. The drive to her parents house meant passing by her high school, and without a doubt she knew Spencer would have something to say.

“Isn’t that your old high school?”

She glanced at Spencer for a short moment before answering, “Yup, class of 2003.”

About a month ago the team had gone to Boise,Idaho where a serial killer is murdering the survivors of a high school massacre that took place exactly ten years earlier. Hotch had sent (Y/N) and Spencer to examine the crime scene.

“The unsub has to be tied to the school somehow. Maybe a current student, alumni, or a family member who lost someone?” (Y/N) mumbled as she scanned the crime scene

“It could be a Slade groupie celebrating his hero. He taped nails to the exterior of the bomb. Specifically to rip open flesh-” Spencer spoke turning his head slightly to see (Y/N) examining the various pieces of nails.

“That’s a Slade detail of Slade’s the unsub copied.”

“Except he tricked Givens into blowing himself up.A groupie probably wouldn’t show that much self-control.” (Y/N) pointed out her eyes looked from the ground to the ceiling.

“But someone with an ax to grind against the principal would. Maybe he’s a surrogate for the tormenters in high school he can’t punish...” he examined the photos he held in his hands, “who were yours?”

(Y/N) chuckled reaching forward to touch the piece of nail in the wall, “I don’t even remember.” she mumbled.

Spencer raised his brow in confusion, “You don’t even remember?” his voice filled with disbelief. He stepped forward still stuck on the subject, “Wait, were you one of the mean girls?”

She turned around in surprise her eyes widened at his question, “What? No!” Okay maybe there were some people she was a bit rude to. That only being her younger brother who was a freshmen when she was a senior.

“Track star with a full ride scholarship to UNR and was accepted by many universities, one of the valedictorians of her class, and the student body president? That not only screams popular but you could’ve been one of the mean girls!”

(Y/N) gasped loudly walking past Spencer to get to the other side of the room, “Could’ve been, I was actually one of the nice popular girls! I was even friends with guys like you!”

“Guys like me? I'll have you know that my social standing increased once I started winning at basketball.“ now that was hard to believe.

“Spencer Reid playing basketball no way.” (Y/N) snickered causing Spencer to press his lips into a thin line, “Okay, I coached basketball. I broke down the opposing team's shooting strategy.” Now that sound more like Spencer.

“Is that why Morgan kicked you out of the pool last week?“ Rossi held a BBQ last Sunday, inviting the entire team over and Spencer and Derek were going at it in the pool bickering with one another.

“Yeah. Took him three rounds to realize I was hustling him.”

(Y/N) pulled into the driveway shifting the gear into park, she turned slightly to face Spencer. “Spence.” she whispered, he turned his head in confusion. Spencer had met her family, but he was about to meet MORE of them. As much as she loved them to death, they could be a little too much.

“First off, I wanna say thank you so much for being my date. Second, my family.. they are loud and can get very.. touchy? If you feel uncomfortable in any given moment please tell me because I don’t want you to think you made a mistake by coming.” He gave her a warm smile, placing his hand over her’s.

“(Y/N/N)!” a voice shouted causing (Y/N) to jump slightly pulling her attention away from Spencer. Her mother smiled happily, she was beyond excited to hear that (Y/N) was bringing Spencer as her date. The two exited the car retrieving their luggage from the trunk.

“Hey mom!” (Y/N) shouted as she closed the trunk watching as Spencer waved hello to her mother.

“Hi Mrs.(Y/L/N).”

“Oh Spencer! How have you been? Come in get settled Steven and I are treating you two to dinner tonight!” She watched as her mother followed Spencer into the house, it would be an understatement if I said my mom loved Spencer.

I mean who wouldn’t?

Later that night when they had gone out to dinner they just so happened to run into one of her family members that every so gladly invited themselves to dinner.

And the immediate question was, “So (Y/N), who’s this?” that lead to a somewhat awkward dinner. You know how everyone has that one favorite cousin? Then there was that one cousin that was a tattle-tale and much of a show off? That was the cousin that was at dinner tonight.

“This is Doctor. Spencer Reid, he’s my partner. I-I mean the partner on my team, a-

“So what I’m hearing is you’re single?” Gwen questioned causing (Y/N) to gasp lightly watching as Spencer shifted in his seat “Um- well yeah but-” his voice had gone up a couple octaves. Drawing his hand away from the table watching as Gwen’s cheeks tinted a deep red.

“Gwen quit it, you’re making him uncomfortable!” (Y/N) snapped annoyed with her cousin’s behavior. This was the last thing she wanted Spencer to feel, uncomfortable. She didn’t want Spencer to think he made a mistake, before she could say anymore he glanced at her for a second before whispering “It’s okay.” If only she could strangle Gwen right here, right now. The table was filled with awkward silence, (Y/N) mother chuckled lightly before quickly changing the subject “So, who’s ready for tomorrow?”

The only thing (Y/N) always looked forward to was the reception. Her least favorite part was the ceremony where most of her family members would be asking her one too many questions. She had spent half of her morning mentally preparing herself for what’s to come today. What she was not prepared for was the suit Spencer had worn, well the velvet suit jacket to be exact. It had matched perfectly with the red dress she had worn.

Spencer sat with (Y/N) siblings watching as she chased around her niece and nephews, “I’m gonna get you!” she shouted causing her niece to squeal loudly running father away from her aunt. (Y/N) had always gotten along with kids, they’d easily adjust to her. When they had cases dealing with kids, it would either be Spencer, JJ, or (Y/N) to be the ones to talk to them.

“Remind me, the next time Garcia tries to get me to go to a shoe sale I need to say no.” (Y/N) spoke in between breaths settling next to Spencer, Wonderful tonight began to play bringing almost everyone to the dance floor. She took ahold of his hand dragging him up from his seat, “Spence we need to join them!”

The sound of his heart beat was music to her ears, beating softly. The feeling of being so close to him, left butterflies in her stomach. It felt so, domestic? It’s not an everyday thing to dance with Spencer Reid.

“Do you see yourself having kids some day?”

(Y/N) pulled her head away from his chest looking up at him with a raised brow. That was a bit out of the blue.

“Just the way you interact with your niece and nephews, you’re good with kids. i’ve noticed that when we work on cases dealing with kids. you’re patient with them.” Spencer glanced down at her, she looks so beautiful.

(Y/N) sighed lightly before answering, “Yeah, ideally... I want to have kids by the time I’m thirty and well, I have three more years to make that happen.”

Spencer hummed at her response allowing (Y/N) to continue.

“My parents... they had told my siblings and I that I would be the first to have kids, and well-“

Her eyes gaze over to her older sister whom was the first to have kids, her beautiful niece and nephew. Seated at the same table her brother whom was recently engaged and his fiancée awaiting their first child.

And now her younger sister wouldn’t be too far behind.

“I’m not a profiler, but aren’t those two completely oblivious about their feelings for one another?” Isabelle commented watching as her sister dance with her date.

“That’s what I was thinking the entire time! The FBI should hire us, we’re good!” Cole exaggerated lifting his hand for Isabelle to high-five.

(Y/N) turned her attention away from her siblings back to look at Spencer. If only she could hear her siblings conversation.

“I’m gonna be the last to get married.” she said with a light chuckle.

There was no one to blame, i mean at this point she was married to her job and she knew the pros and cons. But there’s still time for her, time to find someone, to have kids.

“What about you doc? Do you want little geniuses?”

Spencer sighed lightly moving his right hand that was resting on her waist taking ahold of her left, spinning her around.

He held her hand for a moment swaying the two from side to side, “Of course, as much as I love being a godfather.. I wanna have kids of my own. An entire soccer team as one may say.”

That was something the two had in common, being a godparent. (Y/N) loved spoiling her goddaughter, even before she was asked to be the godmother.

(Y/N) giggled at his response, any woman would be lucky enough to have a child with Spencer. He’d make a wonderful father, he’d be ever so patient with his little boy or girl.

“Well your future wife is in for it.”

He felt a slight tug on his suit jacket, he looked down to see (Y/N) niece Lyrical, “I wanna dance.” the four year old said moreover demanded.

(Y/N) gasped lightly before letting go of Spencer’s right hand and moved to wrap her arms around him.

“No he’s mine.” she joked sticking her tug out at the four year old.

If he was standing in front of a mirror right now, he’d be as red as a tomato.

“No! My boyfriend!” Lyrical huffed wrapping her chubby arms around her chest with a pout. That was something Lyrical basically established during prior visits.

Whenever they’d have cases in Vegas the night before they leave the team goes to hangout with (Y/N) family. Her second family meeting her well family

(Y/N) drew back her arms from him as she looked between Spencer and her niece, “So- who’s it gonna be loverboy?”

Spencer hummed at her question before picking up Lyrical causing her to giggle lightly wrapping her arms around his neck swaying from side to side.

She held onto him, her fingers slightly tugged at the back of his hair. (Y/N) smiled, the warm fuzzy feeling she felt earlier was back again.

If Spencer’s first born child is a girl, she’d have him wrapped around her fingers before she was born.

She walked up to her niece peppering kisses onto her chubby cheeks earning a burst of laughter, the song changed into a more upbeat rhythm causing almost everyone to come to the dance floor.

“So, who was going to tell me they were dating?” Scarlet questioned, walking over to sit at the same table her siblings were seated. Isabelle snorted reaching for the glass of water in front of her.

“Why would we? They aren’t dating.. yet.” Cole answered sarcastically earning a slap to the back of his head. He glared at his younger sister, “I answered your question why did you have to hit me!” Scarlet shrugged lightly taking a sip from her champagne glass.

(Y/N) looked over to her siblings, who were bickering as usual.

“I’m gonna go sit for a bit.” Spencer nodded watching as she walked back to sit with her siblings before turning his attention back to the four year old.

“Woah Lyrical stole your date.” Cole snickered causing (Y/N) to roll her eyes playfully, “I know, better watch out she’s gonna have boys waiting on her beck and call.” The table rose with laughter, as they moved onto a different topic.

It felt like old times, sitting around with her siblings as they talked about childhood memories and embarrassing moments. She needed to come home more often instead of having them fly out to only spend a day or two.

Her eyes gazed over to Spencer and her niece who were stilling dancing, that warm fuzzy feeling. It’s unexplainable. She couldn’t help but imagine, what if. What if her and Spencer do end up together? Oh would their daughter be his princess. He would do anything for her. Whoever get’s to be the future Mrs.Reid would be the luckiest women in the world, his kids would be blessed with such a wonderful dad.

Scarlet looked over to her older sister who was too deep in thought as she watched her date dance with their niece. She couldn’t help but notice the smile that tugged at (Y/N) lips.

“So does that mean you’re next?”

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, her train of thought coming to a screeching halt. Next?

“For?” (Y/N) questioned back, unsure of what Scarlet was trying to lead on.

“You and that handsome Doctor Reid.”

(Y/N) eyes widened causing her to shake her head from left to right, “What? No no, we’re just friends.” she tried to suppress the smile that dared to paint over her lips.

Her siblings look between each other before bursting into a fit of laughter, “Sure keep telling yourself that.” Cole spoke in between his laughter.

Y/N rolled her eyes crossing her arms over her chest before responding “Hey! We’re just friends.”

Cole leaned back into his chair raising a brow at her, “So, you’re telling us you don’t have any feelings for him? Zero, nada, zilch?” she glared at Cole kicking his ankle lightly. He winced at the sudden action reaching down to sooth his ankle.

“I don’t have feelings for him.”

Isabelle rose her brow at her younger sister, “You’re doing that thing.” If there was one thing she was bad at it would be lying. You’d think for a profiler she’d be better at lying and would be able to keep a poker face.

“What thing?”

Scarlet sighed loudly, “(Y/N) you may be a profiler but, we’re your siblings we know when you’re lying.” That only caused (Y/N) to scoff loudly and shake her head at her siblings.

Why are they attacking me right now?

“You cross your arms over your chest and you smile, A LOT it’s kinda no it IS creepy. Plus you get defensive, like very defensive.” Cole pointed out only for the rest of her siblings to agree.

Let’s forget what I said early about visiting more often. They can continue flying out to D.C.

(Y/N) got up from her seat slipping her heels back on causing Cole to flinch slightly, growing up the only boy meant dealing (Y/N) scared him. A lot.

“I wasn’t going to hit you ass clown!”

Maybe, just maybe she was spending a bit too much time with Rossi.

“I’m gonna go for a little walk.”

The three siblings looked between each other. If there was something she knew all too well of doing it was avoiding her feelings. Not opening up to others, building walls high enough so no one can look over and see what she’s feelings or thinking.

“Don’t close yourself off! Say what needs to be said!”

It felt like deja vu.

Emily had told her the exact same thing a few days ago.

"Oh my sweet angel face (Y/N)! You and boy wonder are blind!” Penelope slurred as she attempted to place her glasses on (Y/N) face. JJ couldn’t help but laugh at Garcia’s actions.

“My vision is 20/20 as a matter of fact!” (Y/N) answered earning another laugh from Emily, “Pen is right you know? Don’t close yourself off! Say what needs to be-”

“Hey, you missed the bouquet toss.”

(Y/N) blinked a few times before looking up to see Spencer.

“Did you know the tossing the bouquet is a tradition that stems from England. Women used to try to rip pieces of the bride's dress and flowers in order to obtain some of her good luck. Today the bouquet is tossed to single women with the belief that whoever catches it will be the next to marry.”

This was one of the many things she loved about Spencer. The amount of knowledge he holds in that huge brain of his. Usually the team isn’t much of a fan when he rambles on but, you loved it. The way he uses his hands to explain what he was thinking, or how he basically has an answer for well everything.

“Who caught the bouquet?”

He chuckled lightly taking a seat next to her, “Well Scarlet kinda threw it at me and said you know what to do. But your mom made her redo it, got a laugh out of everyone though.”

“Pretty sure you’re suppose to catch the garter.” (Y/N) giggled turning her head slightly to look up at Spencer who was laughing along with her. There was a sudden cool breeze causing her to wrap her arms around her chest.

“I knew I should’ve brought my jacket.”

Spencer shrugged off his dress jacket draping it over her shoulders. It was ever so slightly bigger on her she slipped her arms through the sleeves

“Thank you... and another thank you for being my date. I really hat- dislike attending weddings.”

“Did you know the first recorded evidence of marriage ceremonies uniting one woman and one man dates from about 2350 B-“

Her eyes fell towards the ground in front of her. Fixated on the shoes he was currently using.

The converse she had bought him for his 30th birthday, well belated 30th birthday. Not only was he using the converse she bought him but the mismatching socks as well. The team had been called to San Francisco to investigate a possible Zodiac Killer copycat. There was something up with Spencer however, he was quieter than usual.

But it was only because he had doubts on why he’s in the FBI, questioning that he should be doing something more in his life with the amount of knowledge he had accumulated over the years. The team didn’t even realize they had missed his 30th birthday, and (Y/N) felt so bad for it. She was the one to always bring in the birthday boy or gal their favorite donuts and a cup of coffee.

When the team had gotten back to Quantico she had stopped by to get him a new pair of converse and of course mis-matched socks.

“How did I not notice you’re using the shoes and socks I gifted you?”

His brows furrowed,“Is something wrong (Y/N)?”

(Y/N) sighed ignoring his question “I read that a crush only last four months. But if it last longer you are considered to be in love. is that true?”

“Actually, many people often mistake crushes and infatuation with love. The initial feelings of crush and falling in love are very similar. The rush of euphoria happens in both cases. The butterflies, and the feelings of pure joy at the sight of them happens in both cases. It’s easy to see how the two are mistaken for love because the feelings are so intense, but there is a difference. Crushes and infatuation go hand in hand, and are very similar-

He paused for a second catching his breath before continuing, “-a crush is defined as a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone inappropriate or unattainable. Infatuation is defined as an intense but short lived passion or admiration for someone or something.

Involuntarily she rest her head against his shoulder, “What about love?” she questioned. You glanced up for a second watching as his tongue swiped across his bottom lip.

“Love is truly seeing and accepting their object of affection. It’s an intense feeling of deep affection. to be patient and understanding, love is forgiving. It desires a deep connection. When we truly love someone, we see their flaws, and we accept them. there are thoughts of a future together, and realistic expectations of ea-“

JJ sighed, “Just tell him say I love you. Not as a friend. But I love you, on a deeper connection. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I’m in love with you.” her eyes fluttered shut, her heart was pounding in her ears, she felt Spencer tense at what she had just said. Oh god did I make a mistake?

She pulled her head away from his shoulder, tell him why just tell him.

“You’re the most sweetest, yet awkward guy I know. Not only are you sweet, you’re also so smart. I love to hear you ramble on about, honestly anything. You’re so caring, and kind. It hurts me when you beat yourself up, I just want to hug you and tell you why you’re wrong and tell you that I love-”

Spencer placed his hands on her cheeks pulling her into a slow passionate kiss, everything happened so quickly it took her a moment to process what was happening. Wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him deeper into the kiss, the feeling was so surreal.

He pulled away slowly his hands still on her cheeks as he rest his forehead against hers, “I love you too.” he spoke as he stared into her (Y/E/C). (Y/N) smiled from ear to ear, stealing another kiss from Spencer.

“Finally!” a voice spoke startling the two. (Y/N) peeked over Spencer’s shoulder to see Cole standing there with well the rest of her siblings, oh yeah she was never going to hear the end of this.

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #dr spencer reid #dr spencer reid imagine #dr spencer reid smut #dr spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid x you #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine

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mithrilwren · 3 years

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Fanfic ask game for procrastinating on writing, which as of this week is actually accurate, since I’m finally writing again! (or, more specifically, editing what I wrote two months ago so I can get back to writing.)

Tagged by @essektheylyss! Thank you, this is exactly the kind of activity my brain needed tonight.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

72! I was hovering at 69 for quite a while, sad to break the streak haha

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

~550K, which is somehow both more and less than what I expected

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Many, lmao. According to my Ao3 (omitting any blanket tags) I’ve got 22 there, plus at least two more over on ff.net from back in the day, and probably a couple more just on Tumblr. Most of them I’ve only written one fic for, though. I think the only fandoms where I’ve written more than one are Critical Role (35), Supernatural (15), Haikyuu!! (3), The Exorcist (2), Dimension 20 (2), and Yu-Gi-Oh! (2)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Pick a Number, Any Number

Surprisingly, my number one is NOT a Critical Role fic, nor is it even one of my longer multi-chapters! It’s actually a one-shot I wrote for Haikyuu!! back in the day that took off far beyond what I expected. I wrote it for DaiSuga week, which was a ship I (to be completely honest) wasn’t even terribly invested in, but I had a fun idea and people seemed to like it! (It’s also much fluffier than what I usually write, which might be part of its broader appeal ;))

A Winter’s Ball

Unsurprisingly, the next four are all CR ;). This one was a M9 x VM crossover that I primarily wrote between the hours of 3-8am over the course of two insomnia-wracked nights and honestly, I think it shows in its uncharacteristically unstructured format (compared to my typical style, which tends to favour shorter scenes with very intentionally-placed breaks between, as opposed to scenes that flow into each other without pause). That’s not to say I think it’s a bad thing! The story, which follows Beau as she drifts through a party in Whitestone and observes the interactions between the various guests, actually flows better without that kind of interruption. This was also my first Beaujester piece. I started writing it right before Beau’s confession aired, and published it the week after, which definitely pushed me to make what had been only subtextual in the first half of my draft into the emotional lynchpin of the story.

Only the Nightingale Sings

I’m really glad this one still ranks as high as it does, because this story is absolutely my pride and joy. At one time (though I’m not sure that’s true anymore) it was the longest gen fic in the fandom, which is pretty cool! Plot-heavy, twist-heavy, angst-heavy, with seven points of view to follow and multiple interwoven storylines, it was a beast of a thing to write, and took almost exactly a year to finish, but the long process was oh-so worth it. Literally nothing makes me happier today than seeing a new comment or kudos on this story.

Closer Still

One of my earliest shadowgast fics, this one asks the question “how can you make the ‘stuck in an elevator trope’ fantasy?” The answer is, as always, demiplanes. This fic, perhaps more than any of my other shadowgast fics, is interesting to revisit, because it was written before the ep 97 reveal, but literally everything Essek does in it would suggest otherwise. It reads like I already knew he was a spy working with Trent, and yet I was firmly in the “Essek is NOT the spy” camp at the time. Gotta chalk that up to Matt telegraphing his growing guilt into the preceding episodes - even if I couldn’t see it, it was clearly there.

your dust from mine

My other novel-length CR multichapter, this fic brought me so much joy in the otherwise bleak summer of 2020. Most of my best memories of those four months come from working on this story. A Fjorclay adaption of The Goose Girl (my favourite fairytale) this story is about healing, growth, and figuring out what happiness means to you. While I know most people don’t read stories for this pairing anymore, for obvious reasons, I still cherish your dust from mine for how much of my heart I poured into it, and I look back on it with a huge amount of fondness.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do my absolute best to respond to every comment someone leaves on a story of mine, even if it occasionally takes a month or two. Replying to comments is one of my favourite parts of the fic-writing process - it gives me a chance to revisit peoples’ kind words and (often, incredibly insightful) observations, and I hope it also shows how appreciative I am of each and every one.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Though I write a lot of angst, I honestly tend more towards bittersweet endings than straight-up sadness. The only one I can really think of is What You Own - mind the tags if you follow the link, this is definitely one of the gnarlier things I’ve written for CR - whose ending is, admittedly, bleak. But this story so far removed from canon that I don’t think it’s the kind of angsty ending that lingers with you, as much as it packs a punch and then lets you go on your way.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I tend to enjoy thinking about crossovers moreso than actually writing them. I’ve brainstormed a few, but none have ever made it much farther than the first page.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

A few times! Not often, thankfully. Only one time in particular really sticks out to me, mostly for how it rocked my confidence in a way that I don’t think any comment could now, since I’ve had a few more years to build up faith in my own writing.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Very, very occasionally.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh man, back in the Glee days... yeah. Yeah, I have. Nothing that ever got published, though ;)

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Not sure I have one! Ships come and go with the seasons, and sometimes they’re best left in the era you found them.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Shadowgast figure skating AU. It’s never going to happen, but I wish it had.

15) What are your writing strengths?

I would say probably structure, in terms of constructing narrative arcs and through-lines. I’m organized with my writing in a way that I am in few other areas of my life, haha. I’d also say my sense of place - I think I’m pretty good at constructing living, breathing settings and exploring how my characters interact affect/are affected by them.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a tendency to be wordy (which you might surmise from the length of this post, lol) and repeat myself, usually by going over emotional beats that don’t need the extra reinforcement. On the other hand, I tend to underexplain certain elements (particularly, important plot details in fic, and character motivation in original writing), which can lead to confusion.

A couple years ago I would have said dialogue, but I’ve put a lot of practice into it and I honestly think I’ve improved a lot, which is pretty cool!

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never done it myself, and it’s not generally my favourite thing to read (like @essektheylyss said, it makes me hyper-aware that I’m reading words on a page, especially if I have to follow a footnote somewhere). That said, I’ve definitely also seen it used effectively, so I think it’s more down to whether it suits the particular story!

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Yu-Gi-Oh!

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

As mentioned above, Only the Nightingale Sings.

#tag meme #this took me about an hour and i dont regret a minute of it #personal

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isthatbloodonhisshirt · 4 years

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If you could change ten things about Teen Wolf what would you change??

OMG BUCKLE DOWN BECAUSE IT’S GONNA BE A LONG ONE! Do asks have a word limit? Guess we gonna find out! (Sometimes I wish I could speak these replies, they sound much funnier when I am speaking out loud to myself and then they are just weird and flat typed up but I DIGRESS! I do that a lot, have you noticed? Doesn’t matter.)

(Also, I did put a “Keep Reading” but for some reason it’s not working. Or it’s not showing as working on my end. But it’s right under this paragraph I swear so if it’s not working, that isn’t on me....)

1) SO! Trauma. People be dealing with their traumas. That’d be a thing I’d like, thank you. Like, I’m sorry, but there is a fuckton of trauma in this show and everyone like, goes to bed at night and wakes up cured. Like MAGIC! I mean, yes, I get that magic is a thing in the show (is it? I mean kind of? Idk, I never saw past season 4, they alluded to magic and then SNATCHED THAT AWAY so, side-note, that’s coming up later!) But yes, I would’ve very much liked for people to, you know, deal with their traumas in a realistic fashion. Let’s get some therapy going, or like, idk, some actual negative reactions to thing! They kind of had that with Stiles every now and then, but he seemed to be up and down episode to episode so like, it’d be like they wrote an episode where he reacts to what happened to him and then four episodes have gone by where he’s fine and the writers were like “OH YEAH SHIT HE JUST MURDERED LIKE A WHOLE HOSPITAL, make him have a panic attack randomly over dropping milk, that balances out, excellent, we’re so smart.” So yes. DEAL. WITH. THE. TRAUMA! Thanks.

2) LESS CHARACTERS, MORE DEVELOPMENT! I mentioned this in another recent ask about relationships but like, they just kept shoving characters in there. Like one of those clown cars. So we got like, 30% character development on the core group and then the rest was like “wait, who are you again?” Like, legit, I have a bad memory, you put too many people in front of me, I ain’t gonna remember them unless they have a good personality or a reason to be there. And like, develop their relationships! Not even romantically, but like, Scott’s mom loves Scott, that is sweet and lovely, but like, we never really… see… that… developed? Idk man, like again, I have a bad memory, but when you really develop relationships WELL (ex: Brooklyn-nine-nine), that shit sticks with you and you CARE about people. The friendships are important, and the familial relationships are important and just developing all the dynamics is important! They spent more time showcasing how much everyone hated each other and lied to each other and stuff and that just got really tiring. Yes, you’re allowed to get mad at your friends, but if you’re a Werewolf, and your human friend is calling you when there is a fucking monster running around killing people, can you maybe stop making out with your girlfriend and answer your phone so your friend isn’t treading water with a 200+ pound Werewolf for 2 hours? Like, JUST SAYING! (Spoiler alert: Me and Scott would not be close friends. Like, I think we’d be friends, but not so much that I’d trust him with my life. If I wanted to grab pizza and a movie, maybe play some video games, he sounds like a treat, but if my life was in danger, thanks I be callin’ someone who answers their phone).

3) Actual consequences for their actions! Okay like, I am also guilty of this in fanfic, but at the same time, my writing is free, I don’t get paid for it, and I write what I want because that’s how it works, so I can do whatever I please (If I wanna make the Hales royalty for the millionth time, ain’t nobody gonna stop me!). But like, when you are a legit paid screenwriter who is writing a show? Consequences! Just because it’s a show about Werewolves doesn’t mean there can’t be any consequences! Like, the best scene, and I feel like we can agree, because fuck it like, hurt my soul and my heart and I was just so like ;~; was when the sheriff got fired (fired? suspended? TEMPORARILY UNEMPLOYED!) because Stiles stole a police van when they locked Jackson up in it. Like, that shit was REAL LIFE CONSEQUENCES for actions, and that shit was intense and it HURT and omg I loved it! Give me more of that! Like, I’m sorry, but you gonna tell me Nogistune!Stiles walked through the hospital murdering a bazillion people and not one camera was working the whole time? Not one? Nobody saw that? Nobody went “hey, isn’t that the sheriff’s kid?” Like, CAN. YOU. IMAGINE?! That would’ve been so amazing, a bunch of episodes of the pack scrambling to keep the Supernatural a secret while also trying to stop Stiles from GETTING ARRESTED because saying “Sorry ma’am, I was possessed by a demon fox who likes chaos and thought murdering a bunch of people would be fun” ain’t gonna fly in court and the FBI sure isn’t gonna believe that but like, UGH! Again, bad memory, but was the fact that Dark!Stiles wandered through the hospital killing people EVER brought up again???? CONSEQUENCES. Woulda really liked that.

4) STOP with unnecessary romances. Like, yeah, I get it, the allos like their romances, but shockingly, you can still have a good show without focussing on the romance. Like, it can be there, I’m not saying don’t put it in, I’m saying DON’T MAKE IT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING! Like, the entirety of season one was Scott chasing Allison and Stiles chasing Lydia. This… this does not make an interesting show? Like, is that just me? And then as the season progressed, EVERYONE had to be in a relationship? WHY? Again, haven’t seen past season four, but I mean, I know Scott and Kira were a thing, and then Stiles and Malia, and Liam and some… person? Idk. And Ethan and Danny (congrats Jeff, you get to tick your “I had representation in my show!” box, well done, gold star, or whatever). And Isaac and Allison, and Melissa and Chris (apparently?). And then Stydia was alluded as being canon, and Scott ended up with Malia somehow?? And Derek slept with half the town and all of Mexico, idek. Like, stop it. Stop. Shows work without everything being about everyone banging each other. (See again: Brooklyn-nine-nine, or Avatar the Last Airbender, or The Good Place, or even fucking Supernatural!) You can have a good, interesting story without everyone banging each other. It ain’t necessary.

5) More actual storytelling (again, this woulda worked better without the unnecessary romances taking up 49 of the 50 minutes of air-time). Like, yes, I get it, pilot’s gotta have some pizzaz! Gotta be spicy and sparkly to make people interested (and like, fucking hell, all I can remember of the pilot is sobbing Allison soaking wet–LIKE, WAS THAT NECESSARY???–about the dog she hit and oh noes is it dead well thank God the lead character works for a vet! And somehow has keys and access to the whole clinic like nbd at all hours? Whatever. I wasn’t even allowed inside my blockbuster as a shift lead if it was off-hours but apparently a high school student doing paperwork at a vet clinic is different, I’m not a vet so what do I know? I HAD A BAD DAY OKAY, I GOT FEELINGS ABOUT THIS RN!) I went off-topic, what was I saying? Oh yes, storytelling. You know what woulda been nice? Werewolves! It happens, we find out about Laura, we find out about Werewolves, Scott gets bitten, all that jazz. And then like… ease in the Hunters? Like, why was there Laura/Derek, Peter, AND the Hunters all crammed into the pilot? Yes, I get it, you need the SUSPENSE and the DRAMA, but you can do that without the Hunters right off the bat. Just, how CONVENIENT~ that the same day Derek and Laura come back, Hunters move to town? That’s just lazy, and again, I can be guilty of laziness, I admit to it, but I literally get paid in—like, do hearts count? I get paid in hearts and pats on the back for my fics, I can write whatever I want. If you’re getting paid to write something, try a bit harder, yes? Yes???

What number am I on? Oh good Lord, I got things to say, okay.

6) MAGIC! Can you like—I feel like this one is self-explanatory. Stiles did the whole mountain ash thing in season one, and it was SO PROMISING, and then that just died. It died like Maes Hughes getting shot in a phonebooth (spoiler, but really, you haven’t seen that yet, that’s a you problem). Why even bother introducing magic if you weren’t gonna use it? Like, was it because people like Stiles more than Scott and the showrunner was like “nonono. If we make him magic, he’s TOO cool, and then Scott is unimportant.” I mean, you coulda worked that in your favour, but no. You just murdered the fuck out of it, like straight up took it out back and shot it. Like, yeah, Derek went kiddo again and Jennifer was apparently all magic beauty spell or whatever, but like?? That’s it??? You had a show about Werewolves and you didn’t even try to make it more interesting by making some of the characters magic? Lydia’s basically the closest and they didn’t even explain her powers that well. Magic would’ve been dope and they totally shoved that to the side. That was dumb. Shoulda done something with that.

7) Explain things more? Don’t mention them once and then do nothing? Like, we got some brief stuff about anchors, and emissaries (which are super duper secret according to Deaton but then like, EVERYONE KNOWS HE IS EMISSARY SO WHICH IS IT DEATON? YOU TELL ME!) Like, they had so much opportunity to talk about so many things and again, maybe that comes out more in the later seasons, idk, but they likely coulda done with more explanations and they didn’t and this angers me GREATLY. They mention something once and then it never comes up again. That’s some Lost bullshit right there. Don’t start something if you’re not gonna commit. You tell me the beginning of the story, I wanna fucking know the end, don’t forget halfway through and wander away, that ain’t right, I NEED ANSWERS JEFF! And like, as above, never really got Lydia’s powers. I know what a Banshee is, but her powers did NOT make sense to me. Idk, could just be that I’m dumb, but similarly, don’t write something so convoluted that it confuses people, that is also dumb. As dumb as I am so like, well done there. And also do we get more on Parrish? I know he’s a Hellhound, but how does one get born a Hellhound and not know until you are conveniently lit on fire by someone trying to kill you for money? (Also, you bean, you absolute treasure, “I’m worth five dollars?” You’re so cute. Silly child.) I feel like being a Hellhound is something that woulda come up before getting barbecued in his cruiser. Like, he works a stressful job, you gonna tell me not ONCE while getting shot at he didn’t have a massive heart attack over a close call and like, burst into flames? No? Is that just a me thing? I feel like the slightest annoyance and I’d be fully on fire, not gonna lie. (I’d be on fire a LOT… CLEARLY I AM AN ANGRY PERSON! No, that’s not true. No yes it is, I am angry, but more angry lately because I’m sleep-deprived and work is dumb ANYWAY back to this)

8) EMBRACE THE SIDE CHARACTERS! Okay, so MAYBE Scott is meant to be the golden child. The Dick Grayson of the show, if you will. The original Robin, the creme de la creme. That’s all fine and dandy if he is, no judgement (little judgement), but you know what you don’t do when your side characters are getting a lot of attention and love? What you DO NOT do is give them less screen time. Because then you’re being petty and, shockingly, you get more positive results when you give the fans what they want. I’m not talking about pairings, because everyone is different, and you can’t cater to everyone, but like, the more people moved away from liking Scott, the harder the showrunners pushed him into our faces. And like, that isn’t how this works. If I like side character 87 a lot, and the lead’s getting annoying, you know what’s gonna make me NOT watch the show? Cutting out side character 87 (hey, for shits and gigs, let’s call him DANNY, just, not coincidentally at all) and then just shoving the lead into my face. That is what makes someone go “Well, four seasons is enough, I can happily live knowing I didn’t waste my life watching two more of them.” Like??? I’m not saying cut out Scott, because the show is ABOUT Scott, but the more everyone tried to showcase how amazing and wonderful and pure and perfect he was, the more annoying it got? Like, Scott has flaws. THEY ALL HAVE FLAWS! If you don’t admit that they all have flaws, it gets boring, and you hate the characters. I know that Scott turned into a douche later (apparently, again, haven’t seen it), but even in the early seasons by trying to make him this pure True Alpha golden angel child who spreads love and hope and trusts everyone, it just got boring. He was vanilla, and also a bad friend, because he was too “perfect” to be around someone “imperfect” like Stiles, and even like, the rest of the pack overall. He was always put on a pedestal and it made the show really… irksome? Idk, I just feel like yes, SCOTT is the Teen Wolf, but you added all these damn side characters, maybe use them a bit more? At least Stiles was interesting, and Lydia was fucking badass, and fucking hell, if you’d done right by Boyd and Erica, the actors wouldn’t have left for better shows so like, come on man, you coulda done better. We coulda had such a dope show, why you gotta crush my dreams like that Jeff? What did I ever do to you?

I know this is only eight, but this is long enough, if I go two more, this is gonna be IN.SANE. And also it’s late and I haven’t finished my fic for the day (I mean, I’m almost done, but I’m not done yet!) So like, I’ma stop here. But yes, hopefully this answered your question. Sorry I got REALLY PASSIONATE about it but it’s been a day.

Also, I feel this needs to be said, but obviously these are my own personal opinions, and as opinions, you are not obligated to agree with them. But you are also not allowed to tell me my opinion is wrong. You can disagree with it, but this is an opinion, not a law, so there is no right and wrong. Don’t @ me, my day’s been bad enough kthx!

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, BE BACK IN LIKE TWENTY(?) MINUTES!

#not tw #but also kind of #Blood's yakkity yaks #I had a lot to say #it's been a day okay!#Anonymous

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elizabeatrice · 4 years

Text

Walking Blind + Thoughts on The Little Mermaid Being Episode 12

Let’s Talk About JSHK Anime #2

Warning: Manga spoilers up until Tanabata Arc (basically that + the entirety of season 1 + the skipped arcs)

I’m gonna talk about how the anime keeps proving my predictions wrong with skipped arcs, and later right, with consequences. Due note that this isn’t me hating the anime (because I love it). Just my funny experience attempting to Sherlock my way through the anime, plus my thoughts on The Little Mermaid being the finale.

No deduction works when it comes to predicting this series.

It all started when episode 5, The Confession Tree, came out. I was looking forward to it ‘cause I’m hananene trash af. Legit thought the entire episode was gonna be about Kodama.

But then the episode preview pics came out and I was like, “Sakura wtf are you doing here you don’t show up again until three chapters later?”

My first prediction was ep 5 would be entirely Kodama, and then ep 6 would be Young Exorcist. Seeing that these arcs serve to build up Nene and Kou wanting to know more about Hanako, I thought it’d be nice that we set aside two episodes just for that.

But then Kodama finished somewhere around the fifteenth minute mark, and we started Young Exorcist Part 1. Which was, you know, fine. But then instead of continuing, they jumped right to the end of the arc when Nene met Sakura for the first time, and then kept going to No. 5′s rumor and revealed Tsukasa early. Next episode’s title preview confirmed it, too. Ep 6 was gonna be 4PM Bookstacks.

Okay. I still had hope. Maybe they just rearranged the order.

On the other hand, the lack of ‘Part 1′ in the title was alarming. And it came true. They packed four chapters into one episode. A lot of things got cut. There wasn’t enough room for the op, and they had to run the credits while the episode was still ongoing. Though, tbh, other than Tsuchi’s line about him being able to change the books (with dire consequences), I didn’t have much problem with the cut scenes.

Then this thing showed up.

Before ep 5 I didn’t think we’d get Donuts until around episode 9-ish. But nope the No. 7s would meet each other in ep 7 (lmao see what I did there?). Again, I was fine with it, but I was a bit upset about Young Exorcist.

Someone said it may be moved to the finale, and I didn’t like that idea. Mostly because Yashiro, our main audience POV, isn’t in the arc. And it just sounds weird having a finale without your main audience POV.

They could put her there, sure, but that would mean adjusting Nene and Teru’s every future interaction. Even without shipping goggles or Nene’s romance-colored glasses, do you think Nene would still act the same towards Teru if she saw him hurt Hanako like that? ‘Cause that was brutal. Like she wouldn’t run and protect him like she did when they met Kou.

They put Kou and Teru’s resolution from Young Exorcist into their convo in episode 7. This kinda makes Teru a bit useless, though. I mean, he still doesn’t do much in the manga but the tension between him and Kou was supposed to set up this badass fight. Since it didn’t happen, and Young Exorcist isn’t gonna be the finale either, then he’s pretty much useless.

Anyway, the thing about Teru being onto The Broadcasting Club?

Not from the manga.

I’m not sure if Manga!Teru is really onto them. As far as I remember, it wasn’t hinted anywhere in the manga. Do correct me if I’m wrong. So what was the point of that change?

I didn’t get pissed until halfway through episode 7 and suddenly Mitsuba was there, but no fishes.

“What is he doing here, where’s that puffer fish, where’s his murder? Hello?”

I was very neutral about Mitsuba from the very beginning but when he showed up where The Little Mermaid (and my fish murder!!!) was supposed to be I kinda began to grow undeserved resentment toward him (I’m cool now though!). Totally, totally undeserved, because it wasn’t his character’s fault.

I was happy because Mitsuba stans got to see him animated (he was cute, and his VA was so good). But putting him in episode 7??? I mean they just left Hanako and Nene’s tension unresolved like that. That makes the episode really choppy in my opinion. They could’ve had the coolest final shot of the season of Tsukasa murdering that fish to scare and excite the anime-onlys. They missed that chance.

We got to episode 8. Pretty solid. Still would’ve preferred if its first bits weren’t in Donuts, but solid.

Preview title basically confirmed they’re skipping The Little Mermaid too. That was when I lost hope in Young Exorcist. But I tried to compromise. If they weren’t animating The Little Mermaid, then they have to put Hanako and Nene’s conversation and pinky promise in The Little Mermaid at the end of ep 9.

Episode 9 turned out to be my favorite. It was all thanks to Natsuhiko. He really cheered me up over our loss of two arcs. And my prediction was right for once. Hanako apologized for ruining the donuts. That’s definitely not the point of their tension (Tsu-ka-sa and trust), but it was still nice and I’d take what I could get. The hug. The hug was very nice.

I was mostly content, excited to see my boi Akane the next week. But then I thought, wait, we only have three episodes left. And we’re definitely reaching Hell of Mirrors, ‘cause No. 3′s silhouette is in the OP. Then the horrifying thought hit me.

They were gonna skip Searching.

But! The freaking post-credit showed up followed by this:

“They skipped Searching AND Clock Keeper??? Why on earth would you highlight Akane, with Teru of all people, in the OP then?! Paralleling Mitsuba and Kou no less!”

Due notice, yet again, the lack of ‘Part 1′ in the title preview. Before the episode actually aired, this was my train of thought: “Okay so they skipped The Clock Keeper and Searching, and decided to outdo episode 6 by packing 6 chapters (yeah, I counted “Reach Out Your Hand”) into one episode. Ahahaha ... what?”

Thankfully, they proved me wrong. Kay. Good. Thanks a bunch for fooling me with that title preview.

But then it freaking hit me. You got one episode left. The finale. Sure, Clock Keeper as a finale will be perfect. It’s a good hook for season 2. However. You can’t do Clock Keeper without doing Searching. It’d basically be almost the same as doing Donuts without doing The Little Mermaid. The finale wouldn’t feel resolved this way, because, again, there’s tension between Hanako and Nene (and Kou too) that isn’t resolved yet.

Not that Searching addressed the cause of the tension, but at least it brought the trio back to their status quo (well, with a bit of kounene and hananene development haha). Also, without Searching, it’ll only end like this:

Clock Keeper itself is 5 chapters. They can cut and modify. Sure. But y’all saw ep 6.

So that’s why I was sure we’re definitely not getting No. 1 this season. To me, that leaves three options for the finale.

A. Delivery + Tanabata Arc

Best pick in my opinion

It’s the direct continuation to Hell of Mirrors

The main trio are all there, especially our audience POV

More glimpses of Amane is always a plus point

The ‘getting hit by a bull, waking up in the past, and seeing your boyfriend before he died’ is just so random I think it’d be a pleasant surprise for the anime-onlys

Just wholesome in general, leaves the audience feeling good

The-ma-tic!!! You begin the series with Nene’s wish and end it with Amane’s isn’t that just asdfghjkl wish wish wish, everything’s about wishes in JSHK

B. Young Exorcist

Classic boss battle finale

Just Teru’s badassery *chef’s kiss*

Hanako getting emotional (something we haven’t really seen before)

Getting deeper into Hanako’s motive (episode 8 would’ve been more impactful had we had Young Exorcist before it, what with his view of disappearing/exorcism for ghosts being salvation)

Kou’s character development

^ counter argument: he already got the character development he went through in Young Exorcist in episode 6 and 7, plus, he and Teru already resolved their disagreements - though, not as impactful as in the manga

Also wholesome, HanaKou is great I love their friendship so much *sobs*

C. The Little Mermaid

@emee-ems pointed out here: “it started with the mermaid so they’ll end it with the mermaid” and I agree

Yashiro being persuaded to leave Hanako, while their friendship was what began the whole series? That’s some good conflict right there

Seeing Hanako worried about Yashiro leaving him? Good shit

Also wholesome (extra shipping content never hurts, either)

Hanako willingly opening up to Yashiro for the first time!!! That’s a big milestone for them

Yashiro accepting that he’s just not ready instead of not trusting her like she’d thought is *chef’s kiss*

That pinky promise! Starting the series making a bond due to unfortunate circumstances and ending the series making/staying loyal to a bond out of choice??? Good shit

Aaaaannnnddddd the verdict was:

Mmmmmkay.

I did previously think we’re gonna end the season with The Little Mermaid. But here’s the thing. It only works if everything is in chronological order.

Why? Because the tension that led to this arc in the first place is resolved already in episode 9.

The whole point of TLM is that conversation at the end, really, where:

Hanako apologizes for ruining the donuts (he already did in episode 9)

Hanako thanks Yashiro for telling him that she liked him

Hanako admits that he had a little brother and that he killed him (Tsukasa already confirmed both of this for Nene, both in episode 7 and episode 9)

So having Hanako repeating all this seems kinda redundant. Nene already knows. Sure, it’ll be nice to hear it from him directly ... but it’s too late now, isn’t it? It’s been four episodes. She’s met Tsukasa three times now. However, point number 2 is still available.

Furthermore, since Hanako already apologized in episode 9, I’m not sure if the fishes can use what happened in episode 7 to persuade Nene to leave him. I mean, she forgave him already. Tension resolved. They hugged and all. And it’s been so long since then.

Animating the fish murder scene is also kinda useless. It was supposed to give the audience a glimpse of how dangerous Tsukasa is. But we already know that. We saw him rip someone’s heart out and force-feed it to someone else.

The first half of The Little Mermaid Part 1 and The Broadcasting Club at the end of Part 2 are already animated in episode 7. That leaves them even more room for extra scenes. I hope they take good advantage of that.

Basically, they have to make a lot of adjustments and I’m curious to see what they’re gonna do.

I am happy that we’re gonna see The Little Mermaid. The way Hanako wipes Nene’s face with his sleeve, and then cradles her head? I need it, they make my heart melt. Can’t wait.

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #let's talk about jshk anime #bea rambles

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earth-ambassador-jim · 5 years

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The Missing Month Chapter 2

Loops 4-7

This is a fanfiction that explores what happened during the first 30 time loops that Jim was in in the episode D'Aja Vu.

AO3 - Fanfiction

Jim sped down the street on his Vespa. No sign of Porgon so far. He had to be hiding in some dark corner, but where?

There was a ping from his cell phone. He glanced down to see Toby was reporting that he had cleared one street and was starting on the next.

That had been Claire’s idea. Since Jim was the only one, as far as they could tell, who remembered the time loop it made sense that all information should be reported to him. That way they didn’t have to backtrack on the next loop.

Right now they were systematically searching the town to figure out where Porgon was. For the moment he was their main suspect for the cause of the timeloop.

“It’s always that blue flash!” Jim complained as he paced the kitchen.

Toby and Claire watched him from the bar.

“Clearly it’s a clue, Master Jim!” Blinky commented, taking another bite out of his whip cream slathered wrench.

“Clue,” AAARRRGGHH echoed watching with interest.

“It must be the source of this disturbance. We must observe it carefully and find its source!”

“But how? My memory isn’t that great and it’s hard enough keeping track of the places we’ve cleared.” Jim sighed and flipped the bacon. “I’m so tired of today.”

“Never fear, Master Jim!” Blinky walked around the bar to place a hand on Jim’s shoulder. “We shall get you out of this time loop yet! You simply must be patient. Like the cunning stalkling, bide your time, learn all you can, and then, when the moment is right, capture your prey and end this cycle of repetition.”

He swung a couple of his fists in demonstration. Jim gave him a tired smile and returned his attention to the eggs. He adjusted the heat slightly and tossed the shells to AAARRRGGHH who happily gulped them down.

“So what should we do this time?”

“Is there enough time between seeing the blue flash and the time loop resetting for us to tell you which direction we see it coming from?” Claire asked. “If there is we could probably triangulate its source.”

“Not really. I mean I suppose we could get me to a different side of town before the end of each loop…”

“Could go to lookout,” AAARRRGGHH rumbled.

“Lookout?”

“Above town,” He clarified. “On top of hill.”

“You genius!” Toby exclaimed, giving the troll a hug. “We can all just chill up on the hilltop for the rest of the loop and then Jim will be able to see where the light is coming from.”

“But first, breakfast,” Jim said, turning off the burners.

“I think it starts at the planetarium,” Jim decided at last.

They were all standing around the kitchen table at his house looking at a map of Arcadia and a photograph of the view from the hill.

“Looks like it,” Toby replied. He glanced at Jim. “Do you really think it’s Porgon?”

“He seems like the likeliest candidate,” Jim said, rolling up the map with a shrug. “He vanished after picking up that strange cylinder last night. It was glowing the exact same blue as the flash.”

Toby let out a wistful sigh; chin coming to rest on his folded arms.

“I wish I could remember. We finally get a time loop and I haven’t got to do anything fun with it.”

Jim snorted.

“Like what?”

“Like stuff you’d never do normally! We could prank Steve and get away with it. Learn to play the piano. Convince everyone you’re psychic!”

“Finally get done studying for the test tomorrow?” suggested Claire, giving Jim a pointed look.

Jim held up his finger and inhaled, then paused.

“You know what? I’m actually kind of tempted to do that one.” He shook his head to clear it. “But for now, focus. Think we should head over to the planetarium before the time loop starts over?”

“How long do we have?” Claire asked.

Jim glanced at his cell phone.

“About three hours. The flash happens just before noon.”

“Okay, so let’s make a plan of attack,” She suggested. “We should definitely meet up at the planetarium instead of here or the café, if we loop again. I’m sure you can convince us pretty easily and then explain things when we get there.”

“It’s so weird creating plans we won’t remember,” Toby interrupted. “I feel like I should give you a message to pass onto my future past self.”

“Oh right!” Claire suddenly exclaimed, eyes widening. “When you tell us that our meeting place has changed to the planetarium be sure to remind me to check the oven. I totally burned the casserole I was trying out this morning.”

“Okay,” Jim said slowly. “Anything else I should pass along?”

“Can I please punch Steve on one of these loops?” Toby asked.

“No.”

Easy peasy, Lemon squeezy everything is fine.

Easy breezy 123 It’s all because you're mine

Jim yawned and hit the alarm. He lay still in bed, eyes closed. It surely wouldn’t hurt to grab just a few more minutes of sleep, right? It wasn’t like the time loop restarted that quickly. Porgon might not even be at the planetarium yet, though they had confirmed last loop that was definitely where the flash came from.

What felt like less than a minute later Jim was roused by the sound of his cellphone ringing incessantly. For a moment he contemplated smothering it with a pillow. Grudgingly he reached a hand out of the warmth of his bed and made a blind grab for it.

His hand brushed it, then it slipped out of his grasp and onto the floor. Jim groaned and poked his head out to see where it was so he could retrieve it. He did a silent cheer as he managed to snag it without getting out of bed.

“Hey.”

“There you are Jimbo!” Toby sounded relieved. “We were wondering where you were. You were supposed to meet us at the café like 15 minutes ago.”

“Sorry,” Jim said, voice scratchy. “I thought I could rest a few minutes after my alarm… I guess I must have ended up sleeping in.”

What time was it anyway?

“Aw. Classic mistake. No sweat. When do you think you can join us?”

“How about we meet up at the planetarium in a half hour?”

“Sounds good,” Toby said and then paused. “But why the planetarium? Don’t they have the science fair going on there?”

Jim yawned and stretched.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I’ll explain when we get there.”

Jim arrived at the planetarium at 10 am sharp with a dozen chocolate chip cookies packed in a brown paper bag. Hopefully they would suffice for an apology. The planetarium was already open, so at least they wouldn’t have to break in.

Claire and Toby pulled up on their bicycles.

“Sorry again for sleeping in,” Jim said handing Toby the sack.

“It’s really no problem, Jimbo,” Toby said taking it from him. “You need your sleep.”

His friend opened the sack and burst into a wide grin as he caught the smell of the cookies. Claire leaned forward to peer into the sack as well.

“Hey!” Toby exclaimed as she darted forward and got one before he did.

“So what’s going on?” Claire asked, ignoring him.

“Long story short, we’re in a time loop. I’m the only one who remembers each loop. This is loop number seven and we’ve determined that Porgon is going to be here… Probably.”

Claire and Toby stared at him for a long moment.

“Probably?” Claire asked slowly as Toby started emitting a high pitched squeal of excitement.

“Well this seems to be were the blue flash at the end of each time loop is coming from. We were close enough when it happened last time to hear roars, so I’m pretty sure it’s Porgon.”

“Okay. What should we do?”

“Can we…” Toby started.

“No pranking Steve.”

Toby deflated.

“Last loop we decided it would be best to scout out the building to see if we could find Porgon or anything suspicious before the timeloop restarts. Ideally we would have been here earlier, but…”

“Okay,” Claire said cutting him off. “I’ll see if I can talk the staff into letting me into the back.”

“I call perimeter!” Toby volunteered.

“And I’ll look around the exhibits. Great. Text me immediately if you guys find anything.”

They met up about an hour later.

“So no luck, I’m guessing?” Jim hadn’t got any texts, but he had to ask anyway.

“Nope.”

“Nothing,” Claire confirmed and then paused before adding. “I did have to break into a few rooms, so if we manage to unloop time we should find a way to clear the security cameras. My mom is getting increasingly closer to putting a restraining order on you guys.”

One of the passing students gave them a weird look.

“Man, can you believe everyone did volcanos again?” Toby asked looking around them. “Why do we even have a science fair if everyone is just going to do volcanos?”

Claire shrugged and looked around.

“Well I was going to do something on a study on algae that I thought was pretty cool, but there really hasn’t been time with everything that’s been going on.”

“Sorry about that,” Jim said rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t be.”

“Still, it feels like you guys never get time to do regular high school stuff because you’re always helping me out.”

“We’re your friends, Jimbo,” Toby said giving him a look that allowed no argument. “Besides, I think stopping the end of the world might be a little more important that some high school science fair.”

“True,” Jim said looking away sheepishly.

They settled down to watch as the participants all trailed in.

“Oh! That one’s different,” Toby said pointing across the room.

Jim looked and, sure enough, a student he didn’t know was standing proudly over a strange claw like device.

“Huh. That does look interesting.”

Jim started to stand up.

There was a loud roar. Porgon.

Toby and Claire bolted to their feet beside him as the giant red troll emerged from the balcony. He jumped onto the model solar system causing the orbs to spin out of control.

Without thinking Jim summoned his armor.

The students evacuating in terror around him stopped to stare. He had forgotten that they were there. He could feel their stares as Daylight appeared in his hand. Mary actually pulled out her phone and took a picture. That wasn’t good…

Jim shook his head. He would deal with it later.

He charged forward with a yell, Claire and Toby on his heels.

Porgon held up some sort of strange, blue glowing cylinder. The one he had picked up last night. Or rather the last night before the time loop started.

The troll laughed triumphantly as Jim skidded to a halt.

There was a flash of blue light.

Easy peasy…

Jim slammed his hand down on his alarm clock with entirely too much force. They needed to figure out a way to get the science fair canceled.

This is going to be longer than I initially anticipated. It's a bit trickier that I thought it would be as well. I suppose 30 time loops it quite a few... Poor Jim, I can already feel his pain.

I have something fun planned for the midway point though.

Next time... the Trollhunters try their hands at sabotage.

#Trollhunters #3Below #Tales of Arcadia #jim lake jr #Trollhunters Fanfiction #claire nuñez #toby domzalski #James Lake Jr #My Posts #My Writing

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alphabees-writes · 4 years

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Glee - S1 E2 (Showmance)

Mama Mia, here I go again!

Please don’t tell me this GROWN MAN had his license plate changed to “GLEE” to reflect the high school club he runs. PLEASE.

Rachel brings a whole-ass SUITCASE to school? I know she’s extra by nature but PLEASE.

Finn just Doesn’t Know What Things Are! I adore him.

You’re really just going to walk by Kurt hanging out by the dumpster with a bunch of dudes who harass him in the hallways? AGAIN? Nice one.

“One day, you will all work for me” I doubt these guys are going to be working up the ranks at Vogue.com, Kurt, but I rate the energy.

Emma you’re better than this dude. Run. Run as fast as your hollow bird pelvis will let you.

SANTANA’S FIRST LINE!!! You’re right, they should get a room.

For all the creepy obsessing Will’s done so far over the glee kids, you’d think HE would be the one to notice how they don’t have enough members to qualify

Sue points out a bunch of special ed classes, and yet I’m pretty sure she says McKinley has no real support available for special needs students later on? They must be whack classes

These people are really acting like all Will does is coach the glee kids even though he’s literally a Spanish teacher

Early Quinn may be incredibly mean, but like, I’d say thanks if she killed me

Rachel really has a whole spare outfit ready to change in to post-slushying? I guess that makes sense if it happens that regularly

Cory Monteith REALLY couldn’t dance and we love him for it

Disco didn’t suck until Mr Schue got his grubby little mitts on it

I almost forgot about Kurt’s selection of hats. What is this one? A fez? It’s fez shaped

Why is Kurt so sure they’ll throw fruit specifically? Is that McKinley asshole custom?

Terri’s actress, once again nailing the act of making me want to throttle her

Kendra also nails that.

A “used” house oh my god

THIS ARGUMENT BETWEEN KURT AND MERCEDES IS GOLDEN. “You need to call me before you dress yourself. You loo like a technicolor zebra.” They REALLY match. God I hope they ad-libbed that.

It’s the first rap of the show, folks.

I hate Mr Schue doing Kanye, I really do, but imagine Finn doing it instead like he planned. Better? Worse? I can’t even tell anymore.

The LOOK Kurt gives Mercedes when she starts belting out the Jamie Foxx part... Don’t be jealous hon you’ll get your bars. For real though his face is hilarious, he looks like he’s worried she’s about to burst a blood vessel with all that TALENT

Sign #5 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Get your hands OFF of Kurt Will Schuester he doesn’t want to dance! Tbh though I love season 1 Kurt during the group numbers because he just always looks SO done.

Mr Schue’s also wearing a T-shirt that says “DITCH PLANS” on it. Please DITCH the state instead?

KEVIN MCHALE IS THE UNSUNG VOCAL HERO OF THIS WHOLE SHOW AND I WILL NEVER LET ANYBODY FORGET IT

Watching them all sing in a goofy, candid way is honestly healing.

KURT’S DOING THE SINGLE LADIES RING-HAND MOVE IN THE BACKGROUND THIS BOY REALLY LOVES HIS BEY. Me too Kurt me too

They straight up gave Rachel no gag reflex and had her guidance counsellor make a joke about it? Ok RIB

“Have you ever liked somebody so much you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?” Same girl, same

AAAaaaAAALllLlLLLLLlll BYYYYY MYYY SEEEEeeeEEEEEEEELFFFF.........bY mYsEeElF i’M bY mYsElF

Ok I like Emma but she sometimes kinda sucks at her job

“He doesn’t even notice me” Rachel, hon, he’s probably already warned his neighbours about you

“Gay parents encourage rebellion” PICK A SIDE, SUE! I really can’t keep up with the convenient flip-flopping of her bigotry. And with Jean, you’d think she’d go off on Rachel for calling people “chromosonally-challenged”

Finn, of course you know who Justin Timberlake is... That’s Mr Schue’s hotter, less evil twin!

I love how they have to label Robin Thicke on the poster - you know, because of how awful and irrelevant he was even then?

Half the janitors are just gone. How has this school not been closed down already?

Sign #6 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Mr Schue: I want to build a club where people can express themselves musically Literally every single member: Hello Mr Schue, I’m here to express how much I dislike the music you’re making us perform. Mr Schue: Never talk to me or my fake-unborn-son ever again

Humble, modest Finn going d’aww shucks and telling Rachel to stop complimenting him is adorable. I love him!!!

How could I forget the celibacy club... I almost feel bad for Quinn, he’ like the only person there who genuinely cares about being celibate. I don’t buy that anybody’s convinced that Puck’s a virgin...

The fact that Finn thought joining the celibacy club would get him laid is just... Yeah. It suits him.

Jacob Ben Israel you will die by my hand you slimy, unforgivable bastard. NOBODY IS OBLIGATED TO GET YOUR DINGER WET, SCUMBAG! Short skirts are not an entitlement!!!

I still don’t know what Puck means when he says “Those skirts are crunchy toast” and I don’t think I want to know.

OH GOD T H E M A I L M A N . . .

Finn Hudson has canonically nearly killed a man and I don’t think anybody talks about that enough.

I beg all of you to look up this scene and listen to the way Finn goes “Ahahaha... Driving’s fun...” Like it just brings me so much joy. What a doofus.

Carole’s first instinct is to yell “OH MY GOD YOU’VE KILLED HIM WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!” Calm down queen he’s gon be fine

Quinn really hates contraception, huh!

I know your wife is a shit, Mr Schue, but it’s fucking reprehensible to lead on another woman. It’s clearly intentional at this point I’m sorry, you don’t put chalk dust on somebody’s nose like that platonically!

Rachel: We’re going to give them what they want! Kurt: Blood? God I love him

I do love the running gag of Figgins wildly overestimating the excitement for the assemblies tbh

This school doesn’t have working toilets but, hey, on the bright side, all you have to do to get expelled is shit yourself!

“Yay, Glee! Glee kids hooray!” Emma just warms my cockles

Will referring to the glee club and saying “We’re on our way back” like no, old man, you’re not getting clout for this. Then again, neither are any of the students until they’ve graduated...

AHH, PUSH IT! KURT’S HIPS. LOOK AT THEM GO. HE’S SO INTO IT.

I WANT THE FACE SUE MAKES WHEN SHE SEES FIGGINS TAPPING HIS FOOT TATTOOED ON MY HEART

Finn’s face as he gets ready to start his part... He’s so nervous. Bless him...

THE PERFECT TIMING OF KURT SLAPPING HIS ASS. And then the zoom on that fucking fanny pack going crazy this scene is so fucking iconic. That fanny pack has been burned into my retinas forever.

AND THE WAY HE WOBBLES HIS HEAD AROUND AS HE STEPS BACK. KURT! FUCKING! HUMMEL!

Oh god, now he’s crawling across the floor to Mercedes. I can’t tear my eyes away he’s GOING for it!

They really had Finn and Rachel go that hard? Honestly up until that point, the routine isn’t too overtly sexual, but now I understand why they get in trouble

I DON’T GET HOW THEY’RE STILL LOOKED DOWN ON AFTER THIS PERFORMANCE! Nearly everybody applauds! RIB just had to have that cake and eat it too.

I demand Will’s resignation too, Sue

Ah, the approved songs list... That they will proceed to ignore for the rest of the season post the Unholy Trinity’s audition

Sign #7 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He has NO PLACE to be mad at Rachel here. You didn’t listen to any of your students, you wouldn’t compromise, and now they’re going on a sex riot. You did this!

Ken Tanaka you cannot undermine a woman’s self esteem and convince her to settle for you as a second choice, and then complain about feeling like a second choice... WHY do they ever act like he’s a victim here?!

Finn saw that whole-ass picnic set up and didn’t think to ask about it? King. I love one (1) himbo. The way he says “You’re cool, Rachel” just fucks me up every time...

She pours him the TINIEST drink in the world? Girl the cups not even a tenth full and he’s a big boy...

The real OTP is Finn x Airplane Cups

Why does Rachel lie down for the kiss... Is it solely so Finn can have his little overflow at the mayo factory or???

THE MAILMAN SCENE HAPPENS EVERY TIME HE KA-BLAMOS OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET...

Look, Rachel, I get that it sucks that he ran away, but he literally has a girlfriend? You couldn’t have expected things to go that well...

THE UNHOLY TRINITY FORMS... I’M QUAKING

Throwback to how blatantly obvious it was that Santana and Quinn weren’t singing at all. How did they think they’d get away with that...

Brittany’s original sideswept bangs? Ugh. Giving me LIFE.

Dianna’s voice turned me gay. I’m genuinely convinced my sexuality is Quinn Fabray’s fault and I’m not even mad?

By this point we know next to nothing about Santana’s character, but the second Sue suggests sabotage, her face fucking lights up. She’s living for it already 10/10

Will you can’t make Emma tag along to all your janitorial shifts I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re married. And a jackass.

I know Rachel went behind his back, but there’s no real reason to give Quinn the Don’t Stop Believing solo? She’s talented and incredible and I love her, sure, but it doesn’t suit her voice at all my guy, if you didn’t have biscuits for ears you’d know that...

Is this the only instance where Will takes actual responsibility for the glee club’s actions rather than blaming it all on the kids? Wow... A rare gem.

The way he says “I should never have pushed disco so hard...” All serious like... Get a fucking grip

I can believe that Rachel’s neighbours would sue her for singing all the god damn time

Rachel singing “Take A Bow” is more fitting than I realised. At first I was like, “that’s dumb, Finn doesn’t really realise what he did anyway” but it fits her character to use a song and spin it so she feels empowered by it in the end. Or at least, tries to feel that way.

So there’s episode 2! What a hot mess. We love our hot mess.

#Glee #Glee Season 1 #Rosie watches things and then says things about the thing

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canaryatlaw · 7 years

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So today started out kind of nuts but ended up being pretty good overall. The craziness is my fault of course, mine and my lazy ass. I did convince myself to get up, but said I'd uber in so I could sleep till 7:40. Then I apparently overslept that alarm and woke up at 8:40. FUCK. Like more than normal fuck because I'm supposed to do two hearings this morning. Dammit. So I scramble to get ready and am out the door in 20 minutes, grab an uber and get there by 9:40. I run upstairs, literally because the elevators were inconveniently being ridiculously slow, like even worse than normal, and I just couldn't deal so I walked up 3 flights of stairs (which is like, nuts for me because walking up stairs still gives me ridiculous shin splints despite the fact that I do it on a daily basis), ran to my office and printed off my questions, then ran back down the stairs and into the courtroom. The worker on the first hearing was running late (a very typical occurrence) so I got some time to go over my questions with my boss which was helpful. So we hung out and they did a couple other cases, then the worker for the second one showed up so I talked to her and filled in some blanks, then not too long after that case got called. The ASA let me take the lead because they're cool about that, and they still get to ask questions anyway so it's not a big deal, especially on cases that aren't contested. It went pretty well, I thought that I was very thorough (I had a lot of notes) and afterwards the state didn't have any follow up questions which meant I covered everything they wanted to know too, and that was the entire hearing! So that was cool. That girl is apparently getting her life together after being on run and prostituting herself for a good while, she's set to move into a TLP apartment Monday and is looking to get her GED, so props to her. We ended up doing the next case right after, which was less complicated with details. He is also doing well, majorly because he just graduated from high school last week which might not seem like much, but trust me it is a MAJOR accomplishment for a kid in the foster care system (which is very sad, but that's another conversation), especially one that has a learning disability. So yeah, it was a morning of good hearings and I went back upstairs feeling good about it. I wrote up my notes from the hearings before turning to the other assignments I had (which I may recount slightly out of order). I knew I had to call "juvie" for the never ending interview saga, which I wasn't sure how to handle because I faxed them the request on Tuesday for today and asked them to call me to schedule a time, but of course I wasn't there yesterday, so my not hearing from them could've been partially my fault. So I call and just say I hadn't heard from them (true) and got sent through a few people, and I recounted the actions I took Tuesday, and they were just like "yeah we never got your fax" despite the fact that I confirmed with them I faxed it to the right number addressed to the right person, and had confirmation it went through. To their credit they did let me set up an interview for tomorrow morning anyway, they were like "we're going outside protocol here" and I felt like saying yeah well it's not my fault YOU KEEP LOSING EVERYTHING I FAX YOU. So I was somewhat frustrated with all of it, but ultimately just happy I got the interview for sure scheduled with a confirmation and everything, and I got it done before I left being that tomorrow is my last day before I go on vacation, and she needed it done before the time I come back and I really didn't want to have to return it to her being like "sorry I tried but failed." So I'm glad I don't have to do that. Most of the rest of my day consisted of prison phone calls, I got through about 33 of them I believe (there's 101). It was mostly more of the same, their plot to get her bailed out fell apart, then she went to court the next day and asked for house arrest so she could "be with her kids" despite the fact that she's not supposed to have custody of any of her kids!!! But the judge was like "you've been in jail all these years already, your kids don't need you" and proceeded to raise her bond from $1500 to $7500, which of course is gonna making bailing her out a LOT harder. Then the boyfriend tells her "her lawyer" called and was asking about the kids and everything and she flips out and was like "don't tell that bitch anything, she's working with the judge to send DCFS after me." Like lady, are you serious? This is your fucking lawyer. And she's like hardcore cursing her out and saying all these terrible things about her and I'm just like Jesus Christ and you really think she's working with the judge??? You're actually insane. And she just continues to say more stupidly incriminating things like "take my daughter with you when you come to visit me so if DCFS asks you can use that as an excuse." Like, lol, you're really stupid aren't you? The ultimate irritation came when I was talking to the lawyer on the case and I found out that despite the judge saying it was gonna be a class 2 felony and she was facing 4-15 years in prison (because that's what happens when you have EIGHT serious shoplifting offenses) she somehow got to plead guilty and got off with a 90 day sentence, which was effectively time served and she got out in January. Like, seriously? That's so fucked up, and now she's out running around on drugs and fucking up her kids. Lovely. The other assignment I did during the day was just some motions for one of the other attorneys, they were to advance and reset some cases for two dates she's not gonna be here, so it was just a matter of changing the info on each of them to fit the specific case. I hadn't done that kind of thing since my DCFS legal days last summer (since it's generally more what paralegals do) but I got them because I potentially could've presented them, but I'm gonna be out next week so I couldn't (they would've been super boring to do anyway so I don't really care). So those were pretty basic. I didn't run out early to catch the 5:03 bus because I didn't need to, but then of course instead of the regular 5:13 bus the next bus wasn't until 5:24, and it doesn't tell me this until it's too late to run for the 5:03. Dammit. Those are critical minutes, traffic wise. So I head out at 5 and go to the bus stop, the homeless man who hangs out on the median (I need to ask his name) was out so I waved him over and gave him a protein bar and talked to him for a few minutes. He's a nice guy. The bus did finally come around its predicted time, and it was already more crowded than the earlier ones, and just because it was that much late it took soooo much longer to get through traffic, like it was ridiculous. If I take the 5:03 I'm home in a little over an hour, giving me ample time to get ready for my 7 pm PT appointment. With this bus, I didn't get home until 6:45, which meant I had to run into my apartment and change in approximately 3 minutes before heading right back out to make it to the PT place by 7. So that was frustrating, but oh well. PT was good, did more of the dry needling so hopefully that will help. It's weird, they're super thin so they don't really feel like getting stuck with a traditional needle at first, but then when it hits the muscle it's like this dull achy cramp feeling that is just very strange to experience. But hey, if it helps I'm all for it, I'm a tough kid anyway (my PT guy even commented I was handling it way better than most people and I was just thinking yeah because I've had to deal with much worse 😯). He was saying we should've been making more progress with pain at this point so they're gonna try some new things because he can tell I've been doing the exercises and it shouldn't still be bugging me like this, so hopefully that works. But that was good and I got appointments scheduled for the two weeks when I get back, all for 7 which means no rushed uber rides back, so I was pleased with that. Walked home, got dinner and decided to watch the latest episode of the Handmaid's tale before I lose my roommate's Hulu access for two weeks. Not that any of the episodes are particularly pleasant, but I found this one particularly uncomfortable to watch. I don't like watching the commander interact with Offred at all, especially not the way he was tonight, like she was his plaything and you could tell she was SO uncomfortable with it the entire time it just had me cringing, especially pretending to be his wife while she was gone, like I know obviously the standards are different in this crazy society but like, that's gotta be considered straight up cheating when you're taking your handmaid out for a night at a nightclub and hotel. It was just...ick. At least she got to see her friend though, and I thought the symbolism at the end with the music box was particularly well done. It's struck me before how much the wife treats Offred as if she is a child, offering her a music box that was in her room when she was a child and just generally being patronizing in the way you would with a child. It continues to be a good show though of course. After that I decided to start my rewatch of legends season 1 with a few of you, which I already recounted my thoughts of on here earlier, so I don't need to recap them here. I'm definitely going to enjoy rewatching the episodes though. I thought about rewatching season 1 last summer several times but never actually got around to it, so I'm definitely going to like seeing the episodes again. And yeah, after that I got ready for bed and ran around a bit packing things up for tomorrow. The plan is to go to work, leave there at 2:30 and uber home, pack my last minute things, uber to the airport, and get there by 4:30 for my 5:30 flight. There should be ample time to do all of this given that it won't be rush hour and neither the distance from my job to my apartment or the distance from my apartment to the airport takes a full hour. And yeah, then by 8:45 NY time (probably sooner, they always overestimate landing time on this flight I've found) I'll have touched down and will soon be on my way home! I'm so excited. My cousin's baby shower is Saturday morning, so we're definitely jumping right into exciting stuff. I'll probably spend Saturday afternoon with my sister (<3) and hopefully see Wonder Woman, then Sunday we're going into the city to see Anastasia and I'm super excited for all of it! Okay it's late so I'll end it there. Goodnight my loves. Happy Friday.

#daily journal #June 2017 #FINALLY ITS JUNE #THANK GOD

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nointrustions · 7 years

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Season 2, Episode 2- “Heart Me”

hey, it’s me! here i am, back at it again. (i’m gonna aim for once a month with these, because, like, emotionally i am not down with spending 4 hours a week doing nothing but analyzing csi cyber. i have shit to do. like not watch csi cyber.)

if you’ve lost the plot a bit, i’ve got a list of all my recaps here. some quick stats for people who don’t want to read all that shit

times the writers didn’t actually know how computers or other electronic devices work- 65

times someone should have been fired or arrested for bad policing or hacking- 45

times brody should have been sent back to jail- 7

van der geek death toll- 4

times the writers forgot how time works- 22

times the writers forgot how the police works (for example, that there are other police and fbi divisions, including people who are qualified to do CSI shit)- 28

times i wanted to steal krummy’s lunch money- 53

times they used the holodeck that they invested millions of taxpayer dollars in- 4

times they use l33t sp34k to convey that someone is a hacker- 7

times vdg is a bad parent or partner- 13

times avery does bad psychology- 33

characters named ricky skaggs- only 1, unfortunately

times IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU- ALL OF THEM GET OFF THE COMPUTER

Triggers for this episode- alcohol, stalking, blood, drugging, kidnapping, basic entitled dude bullshit

we open at a hot, hot nightclub that's apparently an old castle or some shit. It's full of attractive young people drinking and dancing and using apps, so you know shit's going to go down. Raven is there with a friend, Tracy, and she asks tracy how she found this place. Tracy used an app to find it, so she's going to be the victim in this episode. She tells raven what she's been missing working every friday night- namely, “major male hotness.” man, i've really missed the csi cyber writers interpreting things that an actual human being might say. While they chat about the male hotness, some guy hearts them both on heartmate, an app which is not at all like tinder. They make fun of him for being a loser, a skill that raven needs to leverage more often in her professional life.

just as they team-reject this guy, some guy walks up behind tracy and hits on her. He asks if he can buy her a drink, and she turns him down, and he's like “hey that's cool I go to alcoholics anonymous” and she's like “samesies” and it's kinda weird and uncomfortable. He tries to pick her up, but she tells him she has a boyfriend, so he fucks off out of there, giving us a nice view of the fact that, in this incredibly packed busy nightclub, there's a solid 10 feet of space between the bar and any people. Tracy laughs and reveals that she lied about having a boyfriend to him. “But this guy,” she narrates as a guy hearts her on heartmate, “unf, hell to all the yeses.” these writers! They're so good at talking to people! The guy who hearted her walks over and starts nuzzling her, and rejected club guy watches from afar, glaring.

Afterwards, raven and tracy leave the club and hop in a cab. Rejected club guy opens up heartmate and clicks onto raven's profile. He somehow uses the distance feature to track her down, despite them being in a cab and him being on foot. When he gets there, he calls the police to say that he's worried, because his neighbour might be in danger and the guy's still in there. Oh, you sneaky boy!

a swat team breaks into raven's apartment, where tracy is sleeping on the couch and raven is apparently full naked in the bedroom. Wait, how did he know what apartment she was in? There is no way that heartmate is that precise in distance tracking, and even if he saw them through the window or something, I think “my neighbour is in trouble, I heard gunshots? Oh, where she lives? Uh, let me find a street number…. Yeah I don't know her apartment number, but I know the window faces the street and I think it's the third floor….” would not raise some questions.

one week later, raven is chatting with brody about the SWAT team. Brody, I know it's casual friday, and apparently permanent casual friday for you now, but I think you still have to wear your id. He asks if she knows who called the team, and she teases him because apparently when the swat team was called, he snuck out via the fire escape! Wait, what? Did she go home with tracy then call brody over to bang? Or was he waiting there all night in her apartment all alone? We know they're not roommates because apparently the knowledge that they were in the same apartment would be trouble, even though they're talking loudly about how they're totes magotes banging in their workplace, but whatever.

meanwhile, avery is looking at a tablet in her office, and db walks in with a baby binky in his mouth. Oh, so this is going to be one of the weird fetish episodes. Db says that he didn't get them so mommy avery could give bad baby db a spanking, but actually because they're bluetooth enabled and can detect the baby's temperature, location, and what medications the baby had. I don't know why he bought seven of them, but, like, whatever, you do you, dude. He asks how avery's doing, but before she can answer, van der geek wanders by to tell them that they have an update on the “infamous” (a word which here means that we've never heard his name) garth rizzo. You know, normally i'd say this guy might be a friend of ricky skaggs, but idk, he seems like a rat to me.

garth rizzo is otherwise known as “the most hated man on the internet.” he runs a revenge porn site called shamedexxx.com, which kindly places big black censor bars over the women's tiddies. Wait, even with the censor bars, is it still fine to just bring up porn on the big screen in the cybercave? Why did they have to give his website the hit? Anyway, vdg makes a point of how he really, really wants to arrest this guy, but he hasn't actually done anything illegal yet so they have to prove he's been hacking people. You know, guys, far be it from me to criticize vdg, but, like, this is the first time ever in his life that he's ever given a shit about due process. It's a bit weird that the first time he doesn't just show up and tackle a guy to the ground is the porn guy for jilted exes. I'm just saying, mister “i know what it feels like to want to murder your ex-wife!”

they explain what revenge porn is, and then raven glances at her phone so avery tells her to leave while they go through all the victims, track them down, and contact them to get their devices and see if they've been hacked. This guy hasn't even committed a crime yet! Are there seriously no proven hackers left?

raven goes to get a latte with tracy. She's been having hella computer-based problems. Her utilities were shut off, then her mail was put on hold via an online form (oh, no, not the mail! Like, seriously, it's been a week since they met club guy [also spoiler, it was probably club guy what did it] and it's 2015, it's not like anything important comes in the mail) and then she got fired from her job for sending an e-mail to her coworker about how she was going to tell his wife about the affair they were having. It's notable that he did not get fired for that same affair. Finally, two days ago, she got kicked out of her apartment, because she apparently e-mailed the landlord and requested to end the lease. I am not an expert on DC rental law, but I think 5 days isn't enough notice for your landlord to completely shut you out of the apartment. Did he get a new tenant, despite not showing the apartment to anyone because otherwise she would notice? If not, why would she not just sign a new lease under the same terms?

Then she went to the cops, and the cops told her that they couldn't do anything because she didn't know who hacked her. That's, like, the best cop-work i've seen ever? “sorry I know there has been a crime but I can't help you because you have not already solved it on your own, and we can't kick it to the cyber division because they're too busy tracking down every woman in revenge porn on the internet to see if they've been hacked.” raven offers to check out her computer and shit to see who hacked her, and just then her phone gives her a notification to let her know that her bank account has been emptied. Because that's a thing that happens, I guess.

meanwhile, back at the cybercave, vdg is telling someone on the phone that they're being unreasonable. He then gets back to work immediately, but avery stops him with an “elijah, there comes a point where whatever's going on in your personal life starts to reflect on your work.” yeah, and that point was halfway through the last season when he started emotionally abusing coworkers, destroying physical evidence, and committing some pretty serious police brutality because he was mad that his wife wanted to get her dream job and take the daughter that she was more or less raising on her own with her, but you were pretty much down with that noise.

It turns out that he was on the phone with his father, who had been refusing cancer treatment. This is a pretty personal and nuanced issue, which vdg boils down to “it's not fair to MEEEEE that he's chosen to go gently into that good night.” how dare he, when he could be taking care of my daughter for me!

time for a sick cyber-montage, in which raven hacks into tracy's bank accounts! We see that, instead of just transferring the money out, the hacker purchased several expensive things that just happened to add up to the exact amount left in her bank accounts. That takes skill. I would have expected the bank to call her about it, because usually banks do that when you spend several thousand dollars in three minutes, buying multiple TVs in one transaction, that sort of thing. She could also call the bank and explain that she was hacked- oh wait shit never mind I forgot that would make sense. Or maybe that cop from earlier also runs the bank. Who knows.

Anyway, she finds an odd ip address. The hacker is a guy named kyle bristow, which raven tells avery. Avery goes “listen, one case of bank fraud doesn't require the whole cyber division.” no, avery, it just needed raven, and she solved it. The rest of the cyber-division can keep working on trying to find what this one guy who is, I cannot emphasize enough, innocent of everything except being a scumbag, might have done wrong. Avery agrees to send van der geek out, as long as raven stays to work on garth rizzo.

vdg's gun is out! He sees a blood trail leading from kyle bristow's front door, which is oddly even and symmetrical, but stops abruptly at the end of the walkway. He runs in, gun out, and sees that someone's murdered kyle before he got the chance. Rough day for vdg.

Kyle was murdered by being beaten to death with an ugly bookend he had on the mantelpiece. Vdg wants to give this case to the actual police, but avery says that raven proved he was the hacker (because it's not like the hacker could be his wife, because girls don't know computers) so there's a cyber element to this case so it belongs to the csis cyber. Kyle apparently had two phones, one of which was a burner phone with heartmate on it. Far be it from me to judge a cheater, but if you're going to cheat on your wife, why not use your real phone and hide the app somewhere? It's way less suspicious than just having a whole other cell phone. The heartmate phone has some very angry messages from tracy, with the positively incriminating messages of “DUDE. UMMMMMMM – you're MARRIED????? WHAT. THE. HELL.” and “You lying, cheating bastard. Is this some sort of sick game????? You're gonna pay for this. I could seriously kill you.” so they conclude that tracy is the murderer. Then we see tracy with blood all over her hands flashing back to the crime scene.

Intro at 11:26, although really we could stop here.

the definition of the week is cyberstalking. It's like stalking, but cyber! Thanks, csi, we needed that one spelled out for us.

raven and krummy are calling people up about the revenge porn. Krummy's entire interaction goes “I'm pretty sure this is your photo. Yeah. There's a naked photo of you online. No, this is not a prank. I'm an agent with the FBI. Hello? Ehhhhh well.” you got your typical-krummy-asshole-behaviour in my trying-to-deal-with-society's-objectification-of-women! Do they not have some sort of civilian-facing staff who could be doing this, instead of getting the best hackers in the world to waste time doing a job they're not qualified to do?

Raven is stressed because tracy, and krummy goes over to help, but raven takes the first opportunity to talk to literally anyone else. Unfortunately, that means van der geek, who tells her that tracy probably did a murder because she used to be an alcoholic. JUSTICE

for those who are interested in a sweet krummy cosplay, you can get his shirt here.

tracy leaves her motel room. How did she get a motel room? She has no money. Club guy is waiting outside, and follows her in his car after she turns her phone off. Once she's out of the area, he calls the police again to say that he found a murderer!

meanwhile, brody is explaining online dating to DB. Brody refers to the burner phone as kyle's sidepiece phone, and DB clarifies “side piece phone? You're saying that tracy was brody's mistress?” for any square old white dudes who may be watching. Kyle and tracy had been talking for a month, and she had been asking to meet for weeks. They then go over the messages we've already seen, because the episode needed padding. It turns out that kyle had also told tracy he was starting to fall in love with her, and DB goes “without ever meeting?” and brody goes “welcome to the world of online dating.” I mean, like, as someone who has dated online, it's a lot more likely to get unsolicited dick pics than love confessions, but hey, whatever, i've never been on heartmate. Nelson explains how tinder works, and then uses a girl as an example of how the app documents how often you cross paths, without noticing that the app also says she is literally 10 feet away from him. Db tells him to heart her, because apparently it's cool if the whole cybercave is a hotbed of fucking. Db is not into online dating, and tells brody that he's more into waiting for serendipity to strike. Brody asks if serendipity is an app. Get it? Because he's young! And they only know the apps and how to disappoint their elders!

raven is getting interviewed by the detective on tracy's case about how they found the murder weapon in tracy's hotel room, and she gets mad and says tracy was framed. She also lies about brody being in her apartment. Apparently they found tracy's fingerprints all over the crime scene. Raven leaves, and The detective then gets mad at avery and says that she needs to pass the case onto the police, because there's a clear conflict of interest on the cybersquad. We're supposed to think he's the bad guy for this. Avery says that it's clearly a cybercase, because it involves a computer, and that regular cops can't solve it. You know, it might help if there was another cybersquad, because apparently being on the cybersquad means that you will need to help solve cases that are directly related to your coworkers. Then again, I guess another holodeck that they never use would be a big investment.

The csis cyber legal guy tells avery that she needs to get on garth rizzo so he can close the case file, because if garth rizzo gets arrested for non-revenge-porn reasons, that means he can start lobbying for stronger revenge porn laws. That's… that's not how things work. You can still push for somcething to be illegal, even if the guy who does it hasn't done any other crimes. No wonder the legal guy is so chill about everything that happens in the cybercave, he doesn't actually know how laws work.

meanwhile, in the cybercave, we see that the only time that kyle's real phone and his burner phone were in the same place was at his house during the murder. They figure it out by tracking the data points on the heartmate app on both phones, despite the fact that kyle supposedly didn't have heartmate on his real phone. That, and the fact that he types in lowercase on heartmate and using proper grammar with his wife, mean that the phones were used by two different people. They have to prove it with science, though. DB yells “Microbials” and runs the fuck out of that joint.

meanwhile, raven is telling a woman that her photo has been used as revenge porn. “i took that photo years ago,” the woman says, as a photo comes up in which she looks exactly the same, down to having the same makeup and hairstyle. It looks like she took the photo hours ago. Anyway, revenge porn is still bad and raven promises to hack the devices.

db is using everyone's unique face-germs to prove that the burner phone hadn't been used by kyle. “microbials are a new identifier, as unique as fingerprints.” Wait, why can't they just use fingerprints? That's still a thing that exists. Anyway, the germs are different, so the burner phone wasn't kyle. Glad we finally solved that mystery that the viewers have known the answer to since the beginning of the episode. Avery concludes that all the data from the sidepiece phone was all “cyberstaged.” we have a word for that, avery. It's “staged.”

club guy, meanwhile, is calling tracy's mom, pretending to be a detective. He asks where tracy is, and her mom tells him that she sent her a money transfer. What a garth rizzo.

at the cybercave, they're narrowing down who the catfisher was. They refuse to use the word “catfish” for some reason. They use the data from heartmate instead of the regular cell phone location data for some reason. He was following tracy around a bunch, so they triangulate the heartmate connections that aren't with tracy. Avery looks at his fake profile to psychoanalyze him because she hasn't done that in a while. “he chose kyle's photo. A handsome man, because our target has low self-esteem about his own appearance.” or because you don't catfish with ugly people, you dingbat. Some rando drops by a tablet that says kyle didn't do the hack, but that the hack came from a computer at a frame shop. Looks like tracy was FRAMED YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH. nobody makes that joke and it’s upsetting.

at the frame shop, they confirm that the hack was made from the employee computer and that he used a photo of kyle that he had brought in to have framed. They could have compared the schedule that they got from the heartmate matches with the employee schedule and catch their guy, but this episode still has a solid 20 minutes or so.

Wait, why would you catfish with someone who lives in the same town? That's asking for your mark to go up to the person in real life if they see them around and try to start up a conversation. they do realize that, like, there is a whole internet with pictures of pretty people on it, right? Here's my human lie detector analysis- this guy is bad at his crimes.

raven is stressed about rizzo and tracy, and has some emotions like “what if i'm wrong about tracy?” this loses some impact because we know objectively nobody in the cybersquad is ever wrong.

Tracy drops by the convenience store to get the money her mother sent her, but the transfer was cancelled- sorry, cybercancelled. She only has ten dollars in her wallet, and asks how much a sim card is. What a coincidence, it's exactly ten dollars! When she goes out to put the new sim card in her phone, however, club guy puts on a baseball cap and goes to talk to her. Oh, no, he slashed her tires and she has no access to money and he's offering her a ride!

She gets in his car, and he starts getting weird about meeting at the club, so she turns on the phone with the new sim card.

Cut to Brody and Raven, who are hanging around the cybercave. A computer beeps nearby, because they've been tracking tracy's heartmate profile. As raven helpfully explains, heartmate will keep tracking you even if you get a new sim card! Wait, why would she spend her last ten dollars on a new sim card, then? That's not even something that really plays into the narrative. Anyway, Brody goes to call VDG, and raven gives him this look which I guess is supposed to be concern but comes off more as “wait, vdg? Do you want her to fucking die?”

club guy, meanwhile, is getting all weird. “so, how's your boyfriend? Must be nice to have a boyfriend? Someone you can trust? Because he isn't a LYING LYING SLUTFACE? Have you ever heard of the red pill?” luckily, the cops track her down and bring her in and she looks completely freaked despite the fact that, you know, she's at least 10% safer in prison. 20% if VDG isn't allowed in.

tracy gets interrogated by avery. She says she didn't kill kyle, but she doesn't remember anything because she blacked out and she keeps seeing images of his body on the ground and lots of blood, so, like, not the most watertight of cases. Avery tells her she was catfished, without ever using the words “catfished” because we can only use one new term this week and we needed cyberstalking spelled out to us. She pulls up a picture of all the guys who work at the frame show, and tracy points club guy out for us. Turns out his name is holden. She doesn't mention him going all serial killer on her, which I think is a relevant detail in a murder case. Turns out holden was catfishing for weeks to find out that tracy likes amy schumer, tupac, and watching tv in her Pjs. Tracy is completely shocked that a guy on the internet who she has never met and who didn't send any more pictures besides his propic is not who he says he is, because she grew up in an amish community or something, I guess.

avery tells the legal guy that tracy clearly didn't do it. It's clear that she was drugged and holden got a hotel room, took her unconscious body there without anyone noticing, and planted all the evidence! Wait, how did he get the hotel room? Most hotels won't let you use someone else's credit card to check in, and she was out of it. If she even had a credit card- she seemed pretty convinced that the ten dollars was her last. Did he get the room with his own credit card? How did that not come up in the investigation? He then sent the messages from tracy's phone after taking her from the scene, which can be easily verified as false given that heartmate tracked the time she was at kyle's house and presumably also tracks the time messages were sent. But, like, they're not going to do that for some reason. I guess that's giving up.

avery goes to ask nelson and krummy if they have any evidence that tracy didn't do it, and they don't, because she was at kyle's place in the window of his time of death. Avery yells enzymes and runs out with db because talking is for the pre-cyber era.

It turns out that db's got an experimental testing method to test the enzymes of kyle's muscles so that they can determine the exact time of death, and it's proven that tracy didn't do it. Avery then goes to db and is like “wait how experimental is this?” this was your idea, avery!

yay, tracy's free now. Raven comes out as an fbi agent to her, and she's chill about it. Tracy gets a new phone and laptop that are completely hackproof, and they give her a hotel room. Hurray!

meanwhile, van der geek is driving his daughter, michelle, home. He Is a bad enough dad that she asks “why didn't grandpa pick me up from school? Is he okay?” because it's completely unthinkable that vdg could do some gotdang parenting without his dad being dead. Vdg, being a good comforting person, tells her, “yeah, it's cool, he's just asleep.” she asks if they can get ice cream because it's friday and grandpa always got ice cream on fridays. Wait, what? The club night was explicitly on a friday. Then, when tracy met with raven, it was also a friday. The next day was when all the stuff after that happened- we know because VDG told raven that the murder had happened yesterday. And this is the day after that, which means it's sunday. Is michelle trying to trick her dad into getting ice cream? You're gonna be a great cybercriminal someday, kiddo! Hack time itself! Anyway vdg starts crying and michelle comforts him and it's very heartwarming, but we never know if they do get ice cream.

in comes the legal guy, to point out that the enzyme thing isn't going to fly in court. Yeah, if only they had an exact time for all of tracy's movements and proof that the messages were sent from her phone later. Anyway, avery's all “it's not recognized now, but it will be in the future! There's real science to back it up! You know I do things in an unconventional way!” he still gets mad because they let her out on this experimental evidence, instead of the real evidence that exists. Like, I can't stress this enough. There is evidence that, at the very least, she left the area way before sending an “alright i'm walking in the door now” text. That should at least shed some doubt on the story.

tracy is walking down the street, and gets a text on her new hack-proof phone about how she looks good in blue but she should be wearing an orange jumpsuit. Turns out holden found her anyway! She calls raven in distress, and raven is all “that's impossible!”she goes to krummy, who explains that holden was actually tracking raven, and he followed raven into the fbi, and then used a cell catcher to get tracy's number. That sounds wrong but whatever, i'm not a tech guy. He's got a fake heartmate profile by the name of brad, so raven calls tracy up to let her know not to contact anyone named brad and to just stay in the hotel room. I mean, like, tracy, don't pick anyone up on heartmate. Now is not the time. I don't care if you want to show off your swanky hotel room.

tracy is bad at listening. She opens up a new heartmate account by the name of “amy” and tells “brad” she wants to meet for a drink in 20 minutes. Wait, what? Why? Why would you do that? You're under police protection! You don't need that! Holden accepts, because, yeah, he's spent a month tracking this chick and has finally stalked her down to her hotel room, but might as well take a break to buy a shitty margarita for some rando heartmate girl at 3 pm. You've earned it, holden.

Tracy also steals a box cutter from the hotel lobby on her way out, which is fucking rude. Luckily, avery comes in to let them know that tracy never checked into the hotel, and raven opens up all the heartmate users' locations to figure out that tracy made a fake profile.

so they track down holden, which is easy enough and I don't know why they didn't do that earlier. Tracy's plan was to just walk, like, ten feet behind him and then stab him on the street, so raven stops her from stabbing him and holden is under arrest and tracy isn't going to jail for anything, even though she was just about to try and kill a guy despite being pretty much safe from him. Hurray, all the people we're supposed to like are gonna be okay!

Avery says “let's get tracy home” despite the fact that, you know, tracy doesn't actually have a home. Raven asks how avery found her, and it turns out that avery slipped one of db's tracking pacifiers in the pocket of her jeans without her noticing. Has whoever wrote this episode ever worn women's jeans? You're not getting a penny in those shitty pockets without being able to feel it.

in the elevator, avery talks to vdg about his dad and he says he's real sad. Then she goes to talk to db and chides him for doing the enzyme thing, despite the fact that it was her idea. Avery, you're a bad boss. They talk for a bit about how the infamous garth rizzo is still at large, so I guess that the season villain is gonna be a guy who has not yet done any crimes. Then db mentions he keeps getting push notifications on his phone. Turns out brody created a profile for DB on soulmatestop.com, against his express wishes! It's not even a free site, it's just on a free trial period! DB's username is “dollabill” and brody and krummy go “DOLLA BILL YOOOOO” and it's…. this show is bad, guys. They make comments about db's virility and he says he's not comfortable with the situation and the show fades out on this blatant workplace harassment. Catfishing is cool when you're a good guy!

So, the tumblr site crashed the first time I wrote this out, so I had to rewatch the episode to make the commentary again. And you know what? This is a boring-ass episode. No wonder it took me a year to get to it. At least it had some half-decent basic social commentary, wrt entitled dudes. I guess they had to get all the good good social justice shit out there before the next episode, because that's the black lives matter episode and, guys, it's not good. It's a bad time.

Logging off the cyberweb, see you soon.

#csi #csi cyber #csi cyber recap #csi cyber recaps #cybertime for cybercrime #cyber with bobbie

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fangirlingabout · 7 years

Note

Since you are a big fan of cartoons what are your top 10 favorite cartoons of all time? Honorable mentions can be included

Oh! Oh, cool! You seriously don’t know how cool it is that someone would care to ask, thank you!

Also, sorry for the wait. Seriously, that was excessively sucky. Life likes to get busy at inconvenient times, you know?

But dang, that’s such a hard question…

Only one way to do this right.

Dammit, Anon, This is Hard

I’m not the type of person to decide on ranks (or anything) very easily, so I’ll say this: some choices were easier than others.

I should also mention a lot of these choices are very personal, and if this were a more objective list of the best shows out there, it would be totally different. I also don’t pretend to always have the best taste, these really are just my favourites that I’ve seen. Sometimes I can recognize that one show is probably objectively better than one I like, but that won’t necessarily stop me from liking something. Basically, my list, my bias.

Still, I’ll do my best to explain my choices for those of you who didn’t have the same experiences with these shows that I did. I assume you don’t live in my brain.

Honourable Mentions

Is it hard to believe that the honourable mentions section was harder to decide than the actual list?

There’s just so many shows I’ve enjoyed and I think deserve to be lauded. If you ask me, “Well, what about ____?! Where the hell was ____?!” it would probably fall in this category.

I’ll try to keep it short, though:

The Fairly Odd Parents - I don’t think you could’ve grown up in the early 2000s without encountering this show in some capacity, but I absolutely loved it growing up; I played FOP video games, I watched it every day after school, I even remember catching all the movies on TV whenever I could. It’s always had such a great sense of humour, combined with the jazzy stylistic choices that gave it that extra punch. More recent seasons aside, this one is a 2000s classic.

Over the Garden Wall - I watch this every October now. It’s absolutely spectacular. I think the only thing holding it back is sadly that it’s a miniseries—and it’s not like I would change that, the story needed to be told the way it was. But it’s become seasonal for me, so it’s a favourite but… only briefly.

Rick and Morty - Damn, I love this show. Just give it one more season and let the plot really start to kick in, it may start to climb this list

There are also plenty of shows that I think could be on here had I gotten to watch more of them, and some of those include:

Batman: The Animated Series

Danny Phantom

Sym-Bionic Titan

And here are shows I once had a bit of an obsession with that in hindsight… was a bit unwarranted (again, I never claimed to have great taste):

Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi

Yin Yang Yo!

Total Drama Island/Action

With that out of the way, onto the list!

#10. South Park

What can I say about a comedy that’s antagonized censorship on TV 20 seasons? Well, for one, there are moments that genuinely reward you for caring about these characters for so long. For example, there’s a gut-punch of a two-parter, You’re Getting Old/Ass-Burgers that legitimately made fans question if the show was in danger of ending, with just how fatalistic it’s tone is.

They’ve even since made the transition from episodic to serialized season-long stories—to varying degrees of success, admittedly, but I don’t know if a show, especially one this well-established (this happened in season 18) has ever done that.

In a strange way, South Park’s a show that innovates. It quickly surpassed any other show on at the time for most edgy/boundary-pushing—to the point that its offensive humour wouldn’t be acceptable coming from anyone else but South Park (which isn’t to say I don’t understand when/if people have an issue with it, but… more on that in a sec)!

I’d also like to give special shoutout to the South Park Movie, and the recent South Park video games, the Stick of Truth and Fractured, but Whole—all three of which are jam-packed with South Park goodness.

Personal Reasons: When I was growing up this was the pinnacle in shows my mom didn’t want me to watch. And with what little of a rebellious streak I had, I took that to mean it needed my attention.

I remember watching it late at night (which just made it more scandalous!) with my brother, and separately with my best friend at the time, Daniel. We loved that kind of raunchy, crude humour! And in hindsight, like I said, I know there’s been plenty of times when they’ve made jokes in poor taste, but I don’t know. Sometimes when you make fun of everyone equally, there can be room for some less tasteful jokes. Especially when being a boundry-pusher is a big part of your identity.

As the old saying goes, “It’s South Park: what did you expect?”

#9. Clone High

One of the more obscure choices on this list, but I’ve mentioned it from time to time for sure. Coming from the writing/directing team behind Lego: Batman, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, and 21 Jump Street, Clone High was a short-lived 13-episode MTV comedy.

The premise was simple: clones of famous historical figures all go to high school together.

Done, simple as that.

But what makes it so funny is how it parodies the high school drama genre while still existing as it’s own story with it’s own characters. Like, every episode is always announced as a “very special episode” and even in their short run, they managed to do the Drug episode, the holiday episode, the natural disaster episode, the dramatic Death episode, the class election episode—it just doesn’t let up.

Oh, and I’d like to mention Pan Pzza/Rebel Taxi did a stellar review that goes into the history surrounding the show along with some analysis of its content, so if I piqued you’re interest at all, you can find a more in-depth review over here.

Personal Reasons: This s a show my brother introduced me to. Watching videos or playing video games with my cool older brother was always awesome, so watching a show with him as tons of fun.

#8. Moral Orel

My god… this show is the absolute most brutal show I’ve ever loved. You can tell by my lists that I tend towards shows that deal with darker subjects in soft, even light-hearted ways, but this isn’t that kind of show.

Or, at least, the season that made it my 8th favourite show isn’t.

I should explain. Moral Orel was a show on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim that had a total of 3 seasons (with a prequel special that came out years after the fact), and for most of the first two seasons, it’s a vastly different show than in its third season.

From the second season’s finale onward, Moral Orel becomes one of the most bleak, bitter, heart-wrenchingly real shows on TV. It’s breath-takingly bitter.

The first two seasons largely center around the main character Orel Puppington and his religious adventures in his hometown of Moralton. It started as a parody of Christian cartoons, in particular the stop-motion/claymation Davey and Goliath.

Basically, Orel would learn a lesson from an authority figure in town and misinterpret it to the extreme. It could make for some funny commentary now and again, but in truth it was nothing special.There were a few early episodes worth watching, like the Lord’s Prayer and The Best Christmas Ever, but if that’s all it had to offer, its charm would wear thin.

This, on the other hand, is no regular series.

The fact that it started out the way it did makes the reveal even more powerful. You see, those more upbeat first two seasons, where the morals are skewed and everything’s just a bit cheerier than it should be come crashing down when Orel’s father’s alcoholism is taken devastatingly seriously during a hunting trip in the two-part season finale “Nature” parts 1&2.

Nature marks a drastic turn in the series tonally. From there, the series shifts focus from just being about Orel to chronicling the lives of several members of the town in the aftermath and the days surrounding that infamous hunting trip. The third season even starts counting down each episode (Numb, for instance is 1 out of 13).

And the reason for this is that as Orel lost faith in his father in that season finale, we, along with Orel, start to see all the people in his life in a different, sometimes disturbing light.

If I’m making it out to sound a bit on the unwatchable side, I understand, you don’t always want to watch something that will bring you down like that. But to sing its praises just a bit more, the reason it struck such a chord with me is because there’s such a humanity to it. There is hope somehow, and goodness in all this messed up stuff.

Personal Reasons: I used to stay up late watching Adult Swim, or use the TV to fall asleep to. I managed to catch episodes now and again, so it hit me hard the first time I saw some of the darker or more bittersweet episodes.

#7. Steven Universe

We jump from one of the harshest shows to one of the sweetest! And yeah, I was surprised this wasn’t higher, too

And maybe it could change as the series goes on, but in the meantime, wow is this a fantastic show! We’ve talked about it a number of times on FGA, but I don’t think that’s any reason to not sing it’s praises some more!

Premiering in 2013 on Cartoon Network, Steven Universe, as you probably know (because this is Tumblr), follows the titular Steven and his emotionally-driven life with the Crystal Gems, alien rebels from a far-off Homeworld.

Properly referred to as “singing and crying,” Steven Universe slowly runs the gambit from gorgeously heartbreaking to sweetly uplifting, all the while feeling like a mellow, safe, and warm place to be.

Like many people have said in many different ways, it’s a show that explores relationships. All kinds of relationships. It’s made massive strides in LGBT+ representation in kids’ shows, presenting it without the pomp and circumstance of a “very special episode.”

The gradually unfolding plot has fans like me hooked, even if the slower pace and hiatus plague can leave us hanging for quite some time.

Personal Reasons: This is yet another show that I’ve gotten watch and talk about with my girlfriend, so I think I’ll always remember it fondly for that. Fangirling.

#6. Avatar: The Last Airbender

It’s what I consider to be the greatest show of all time… and it’s this far down on the list. There really is no justice in Bias Town.

One of the best purely serialized shows out on this list, Avatar is a perfect example of a simple three act story-structure. It tells a complete, satisfying story that needed no more and no less.

And in that time, it managed to find the perfect balance for everything. Rich, interesting world-building reflecting real-life cultures? Check. Fun plots that moved forward the overall story? Check. Likable complex characters that humanize the world so no one side is undeniably in the wrong? Check.

The only thing that took a while to grow on me was Avatar’s humour. Can’t explain why, but once I warmed up to it, there were episodes and moments that made me lose my shit.

It’s such a well-crafted story, and I could probably just go on and on about how well everything was developed, but sufficed to say, it would probably top my list for what’s objectively the best cartoon out there.

Personal Reasons: I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before, but I actually missed out on Avatar’s original run. I vaguely remember being interested by it, but never catching an episode in full.

Years later, I somehow stumbled across it by chance, and oh my god. Oh my god, you guys. I watched most of the second and third season in one weekend. I couldn’t stop.

#5. Spongebob Squarepants

In last year’s Nostalgia Month, I fangirled a little bit about Spongegbob, and if you read any of that, you’ll know I’ve always been a huge fan. It’s one of the cornerstone series of my generation (just take a look at the Ocean Man meme that was a thing for a while—that song is buried in the credits of the Spongebob Movie, so you would have had to sit through the credits to get that reference), along with Pokemon and Fairly Odd Parents, so again, I couldn’t not have some experience with it, but I was pretty much a super fan.

And there’s kind of a reason for that. I can’t say what it’s like now, but in its early seasons, it’s humour was surprisingly intelligent and stupidly funny. There’s definitely a difference between stupid characters and a stupid show, and so long as you can see that, you’ll find a charming undersea comedy that became a household name for a reason (at least initially).

Personal Reasons: God, where to start. For one, I have a fear of fish, but I love swimming and the sea. That fear developed in second grade, ironically around the time I would’ve been the deepest in my Spongebob phase. I think it helped, actually. There’s a reason I have a random anchor as a logo.

And you know, there’s some shows that you love so much that they come to represent a part of your life. All my elementary school days and even into middle school, Spongebob was something I was an expert in. I had as much merch as I could afford to get, I watched it religiously (even the DVD boxsets), I made my first best friend that way— it just ruled my world for a long while there.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way. The nostalgia goggles are strapped on hard for this choice, but I couldn’t honestly tell you I don’t have a sincere place in my heart for it. And always will.

#4. Gravity Falls

You know how the 2010s starting kicking a lot of ass for animation? I think more than anything—more than even Adventure Time (which I do love)—this is the show that represents that to me. Not because it’s dated, but in fact the opposite: because it’s a modern classic that will forever feel timeless. Something truly spectacular that we’ll always look back on and remember as ours.

Gravity Falls takes influences from all the best stuff, but makes itself unique by being incredibly inventive. Like, it really does remind me of any Matt Groening show because of it’s sense of humour and even a bit of the world-building, but the mystery and heart are so magnificently its own. These things are the backbone that take the the already stellar comedy to a whole other level.

The best word for it is just as I said: magnificent.

From beginning to end, it’s undeniably so. It rewards close-viewings and theory-makers ten-fold, and that detail-orientated approach makes the experience that much richer and more, well, rewarding.

You knew it was coming, but hell, I can’t deny a show that succeeds in doing so many things I love so, so well.

Personal Reasons: I’ll never forget the experience of watching Not What He Seems for the first few times, or really, a lot of the episodes. Watching the fandom come up with theories about the Stan twins a season in advance, and then seeing those theories made reality in the most spectacular, theatrical episode of the television I’ve ever watched blew me the fuck away.

And getting to talk about it here and with LittleNightwing just made it more of an interactive experience, which is exactly the kind of thing Alex Hirsch wanted.

I know I’ve said this too many times by now, but I even wrote part of an episode for Gravity Falls: Deep Woods (a storyboarded fan-series inspired by the show). When episode three eventually comes out, if they haven’t cut it out for time constraints, my name will be in the credits. And having my name associated with anything related to this show is just an honour.

#3. Futurama

I don’t even know what I can say about Futurama that hasn’t already been said, but whatever, I’m gonna try because I have to include it.

It started airing back in 1999, which was appropriate, because the series starts us out by travelling to the year 2999 on New Years, entering into the new millennium as we enter into this new series. And from there, this lovable portrayal of a future that somehow seems not too far from our present day becomes awesome.

Everything is a little crappy. That’s not a diss on the show, it’s just the reality of the year 3000. It’s not some dystopia, but it’s no utopia, either. It comes with all the problems and foibles of modern day, just with different technology, space travel, and alien races.

And don’t get me started on how inventive it can be. The writers staff behind that show is one of the most educated on television—quite literally, with “three Ph.D.s, seven masters degrees, and cumulatively had more than 50 years at Harvard.”

And they put all that to use to make sure the science behind that sci-fi could work. In fact, they not only created their own alien language for the show, but writer Ken Keeler devised an entirely new math equation to resolve a plot point for the episode “Prisoner of Benda.” In the field, it’s referred to as the Futurama theorem or the Keeler theorem, and has since inspired research.

So when I say next level nerdy, I mean next level nerdy.

Futurama uses this incredible scientific and mathematical power to parody the sci-fi genre with a great sense of humour and a Simpsonian sense of heart. Pretty much all of the main cast has at least one tear-jerker episode, but none so powerful as the infamous Jurrasic Bark, an episode dedicated to telling the story of our main character, Phillip J. Fry, and his dog Seymour. It will tear you apart.

Personal Reasons: This is yet another series I grew up with, and I think it taught me a lot about storytelling. Episodes like Luck of the Fryrish, The Sting, or the aforementioned Jurrasic Bark end on a incredibly bittersweet note, and to really earn that, the writers build it up expertly.

There’s also episodes like the Emmy-winning Roswell that Ends Well that take these wacky sci-fi concept to insane new levels. Whether or not I can execute on that, it taught me to always push an idea further.

Plus, I followed the series from it’s original run to it’s first cancellation to the four straight-to-DVD movies (that I ADORED renting from Blockbuster) to it’s return and final ending in 2013. It’s been one hell of a ride.

#2. The Simpsons

And at this point, you probably know the whole list. But let’s go through it anyway.

The Simpsons, for me, really is one of the most brilliantly stupid comedies out there. It seems there are a number of comedies on this list that could be written off as just brainless, but I think there’s a charm to that for me. Something that clearly doesn’t take itself too seriously when it doesn’t have to. The Simpsons, in that way, has always been rather inviting to me.

Despite it’s now nearly 30 year run, it never seems to have an ego about itself, even when some consider it the greatest comedy of all time (me).

There’s an endless amount of hilariously quotable episodes, and like any good comedy, it doesn’t skimp out of the character development or sentimentality. It’s certainly lost it’s touch for the most part, as is the case with a lot of running series, but every now and again, even in the later seasons, it still manages to surprise.

I couldn’t explain it’s legacy if I tried. It’s currently the longest running animated series, and at this point, seems to have outlived the entire era it was so adept at parodying, but it’s still so legendary I can’t fault it! Even the impossible finally does happen and the show takes its final bow, I know this funny family will keep me laughing for years to come.

Personal Reasons: This started as another show my mom didn’t want me to want, but the reason I got to watch it so much and maybe the reason I love it so much is because my dad loved it.

From that point on, I started collecting the DVD boxsets of every season I could, and enjoying all the early seasons I was too young to watch when they originally aired.

And watching Simpsons reruns in whatever capacity I could became tradition. I still do to this day, even if it’s just online now. It’s become sort of a comfort show, it’s that familiar to me.

Plus, there’s the Movie, and games (The Simpsons Hit and Run is so much better than it has any right to be)—I even wrote an essay on The Simpsons back in high school.

It’s just been the huge, life-long love for me that will never truly end because of how much it shaped me as a person (as silly as that sounds).

#1. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Shock! Awe! Everyone is stunned! People never would’ve seen this coming if they know me…

Alright, so I’m predictable (I prefer the term “reliable” but considering how long it took to get this list out…), but it’s strangely so well-suited to everything I love. This entire section is full of personal reasons.

There’s fantastic characters to love (and obsess over); a heart-warming, light-hearted, cute, and ultimately loving tone that’s inexplicably never too saccharine even when it by all means should be; a fascinating fantasy world to dive into; a remarkable at times Disney-esque musical element; an eye-pleasingly soft animation style; an unashamed love of puns—I mean I could actually go on about this for a full year.

I really, really could… over on my main blog (sorry for the self-promo, but it’s relevant).

Year of the Pony, MLP Editorials (which are a big part of YotP)

I’ve dedicated this entire year to talking about My Little Pony in an event I’m calling Year of the Pony. There’s so far been something pretty much every week, themes for every month—I love this show a lot you guys. I really, really do.

That really is the reason I’m doing this event. I’ve been a fan of this show for five, going on six years, and it somehow became my favourite show of all time, even when there are shows out there that I think are objectively better. I’m trying to dissect why that is bit by bit.

For instance, here’s an upcoming two-parter:

These two characters are sisters, and long story short, one was forced to send the other to the moon. This was a story that introduced the series in the first two episodes, and has since been explored by the fandom in every way imaginable. So I have to ask questions that’ll give me a way to talk about how much and why I love this particular story element.

It’s not the greatest tragedy out there, sure, but I’ve seriously gotta figure out why this has struck such a chord with me, you know?

Obnoxious self-promos aside, I really did fall and fall hard for this series I think because it was still unassuming by the time I got to it. The was a fandom, sure, but I didn’t know what to expect (whether these “bronies” were just using it for memes and liking it ironically or what), and that made it a genuine discovery for me.

And it’s that very unassuming, unpretentious sweetness that continues to make me love it, even though it’s made a few mistakes along the way. I don’t think it’s a perfect series, but it’s definitely perfect for me. And what more could I ask for in a favourite show?

But that’s just my list. Feel free to tell my some of your favourites or take up the challenge to put out your own list and send it my way! Show me how much better your taste is than mine!

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faces-in-unexpected-places · 5 years

Text

Do You Have the Time? Episode 015: Jeremy’s Comfort Zone

[April 18th, 2018, 17:13]

Jeremy and Leslie sat at their lab meeting table treating their wounds. IO remained at the lab bench, cleaning up the solid iron, dust, and powder from the working area. They had discussed potential fixes to the issues with the first trial of the experiment. The easiest solution to Jeremy’s hand was to invest in heat resistant gloves. They resolved to buy a few pairs before the end of the week. Leslie stood at the chalk board, jotting down their ideas so that they didn’t get lost in the chaos of the day.

“Okay, we have heat resistant gloves. Number two…” she trailed off, “actually, maybe we can insulate the crank too? Like, put a kind of insulating mould around the handle?” she suggested.

“I like that idea. That would be a fool proof way of keeping your hands safe,” Jeremy said, “Or we could pack the insulator into the pipe where the crank is, so that the heat can’t get through to the crank,” he mentioned.

“Oh, that would be even better! Probably easier, too. The big problem is the iron spill we had… how do we contain it?”

“I think the ceramic pot was still a good choice, even though it, uh, blew up.”

Leslie chuckled.

“It is heat resistant, which is important for the experiment.”

“The pieces are easy to pick up afterwards because they are not scorching hot like the pipe. I think we should keep the pot, and just add onto it,” Jeremy stated.

“Hmm… okay. Add… onto… pot…” she mumbled and wrote it on the board, “Put it in a bigger bucket?” she wondered.

“Sure, maybe. One that won’t crack and break.”

“Like a metal bucket!” Leslie offered with a smile.

“Yeah, like that. Except we probably don’t want molten iron sloshing around in an iron bucket.”

“It’s better than leaking on the floor, though,” Leslie joked.

“Yes, it is.”

They both paused and thought.

“The planter is a mostly sturdy and heat resistant receptacle for the reaction. We’re putting it in an even more resilient container to better… well, contain the reaction. So we just need to make the metal bucket more resistant to heat, too,” Jeremy summarised.

“…What about sand?” Leslie asked, “We fill the metal bucket with sand, set the planter in the sand and then light the reaction. The molten iron will just be kept in place by the sand, and it will probably just cool in there.”

“Yes…” Jeremy mumbled, “Yes… Yeah! You’re right! I can’t believe I missed that. Leslie, you’re brilliant!” He exclaimed.

“Oh, hush, this is a team effort,” she waved away his compliment with a subtle rosiness to her cheeks. She scribbled down notes about sand and the metal bucket on the board.

“What should we do now?” Jeremy asked, “We don’t have the resources to do a second trial of the experiment. I suppose to finish the day, we could make a trip to a department store and—”

“Get the heat resistant gloves and buckets?” Leslie completed his thought.

He chuckled.

“Yeah, exactly that. We should get a lot of ceramic pots, too.”

“Yeah… I guess it was a really good thing that we replanted Leopold’s succulent. You know what we could do? Make a list, get the things we need, plus some buckets with lids on them. That way, we could go down to the beach and get a bunch of sand for trial two!” she brainstormed.

“The beach?”

“Oh, yeah! Indiana Dunes State Park! You can’t have a beach without sand, right?”

“Hmm… it’s not a bad idea,” he hesitated, “Although, I haven’t eaten since this morning. I don’t know if it’d be a good idea to to go that much longer without food.”

“Oh, well, there’s plenty of restaurants just outside of the park! We could go to the department store, get the supplies, go to the restaurant, and then collect the sand!”

His reluctance continued. He ran his palm along his chin and cheek as he thought.

“My treat?” Leslie murmured from the side of her mouth to further entice him.

“Huh? Oh, no, no, you don’t need to do that—”

“Okay, okay,” she chuckled, “If you’re not feeling like it, that’s okay. That’s what I’m going to do. But, if you decide you want to come with me, before I leave, I’d be happy to have your help! Buying research supplies would be a lot more fun if you came along. But like I said, totally up to you! I’ll see you the next time you come in to work, for sure.”

Leslie set the chalk down and began putting away the remaining components of their experiment. The ring stands, Leopold’s pipe, and the containers of reaction powder. Jeremy made eye contact with IO whose lights flashed in the order of red, yellow, green. Like a traffic light. It was telling him to go. He did a quick nod, and spoke before he could talk himself out of it.

“Hey, I’ll go,” he announced, as Leslie finished putting away the materials.

“Yay! Now it doesn’t even feel like work!”

“But you don’t have to pay for me, I have my own money.”

“Okay, fine, fine, I understand,” she defensively snickered with her hands in the air.

Jeremy met her at the lab bench, sprayed it with a cleaner next to the paper towels, and wiped it down. Parts of the bench were slightly deformed from the heat. He wondered how Leopold would react. Maybe we wouldn’t even notice. The two of them packed up their belongings and stood at the door of the lab. Jeremy kneeled down and said a quick goodbye to IO, who seemed to be entirely too content with them leaving.

They managed to cross every item off of their list at the department store. A few pairs of heat resistant gloves, and some metal buckets large enough to hold sand as well as a planter. Their method of choosing insulation was rather unorthodox. In addition to many extra flower pots, they picked four buckets with lids to carry the sand back from the beach.

[April 18th, 2018, 18:54]

To Jeremy’s comfort, they stuck to professional conversation during their dinner at the restaurant. They tried to anticipate problems in future experiments, and prepared to solve them even before they occurred. Leslie didn’t mind the conversation. She was just grateful to have a good person to work with who kept her mind off of all their pressing matters. He reminded her of all the things she loved about her job. Jeremy briefly excused himself to use the restroom after he finished eating, and she quickly hailed their waiter over to the table. She promptly paid and tipped before Jeremy could. That went even better than she expected. She stood outside the bathroom doors, and waited for him to return. She hoped that the food hadn’t upset his stomach.

But it wasn’t the food.

Jeremy leaned forward on the sink and stared down at the drain. He felt hot and shaken. Nervous. Anxious. Cold water ran from the faucet, and he splashed it in his face. It didn’t help very much. He took a seat on a short, wooden bench near the sink, and dried the water from him. Inhale though nose for four seconds. Hold it for seven seconds. He exhaled for eight seconds, making a whooshing sound with his teeth. Repeat. He repeated it as many times as he needed to. He lost count. He opened the chat log with IO on his phone.

[JEREMY_IO_CONVERSATION_START_19:00]

JB: I did the 4-7-8 just now.

IO: thats great jeremy!

IO: so happy to hear you remembered to do that!

IO: how is the night going?

JB: Pretty good. We got the supplies and just finished eating. We’re going to go get sand soon.

IO: good!

JB: We’ve mostly been talking about work and science stuff, though…

IO: that’s okay!!! you already decided to go, which wasnt in your comfort zone anyway

IO: one step at a time!

JB: Do you think I should try talking about something else with her?

IO: do YOU think you should?

JB: I don’t know. I was thinking about it.

JB: I was thinking about what Andre said earlier.

IO: about his life story coming out on dvd?

JB: No, the other thing.

IO: hahaha, i know!

JB: “If you want people to stick around, you have to tell them stuff about you.” Something like that.

JB: I like Leslie. I respect her. I don’t want to just lose touch with her, when I finish my research.

IO: me neither! i like her a lot too, she’s very nice!

JB: I have a history of losing touch with people when it’s no longer convenient for me to see them.

IO: so you want to try sharing something with her?

JB: Maybe. I just don’t know what.

IO: whatever you feel comfortable with!

JB: Well, I don’t actually feel comfortable talking about anything with anybody.

IO: hehe, you talk to me, sometimes!

JB: That is true.

IO: i’m sure shed be happy if you told her anything! leslie is a pretty easy person to get along with

JB: That is also true.

IO: how about your ant farm?

JB: It’s a good idea, but it’s still sort of rooted in my interest in science.

JB: Maybe something from a different angle.

IO: you could talk about me, lol

IO: i mean, love of robotics in general

IO: i guess thats also sciencey

IO: what about the piano?

JB: I haven’t played in so long.

IO: thats okay! it’s still nice to talk about

IO: or you can just talk about what’s going on around you

IO: “i like the song they’re playing in this restaurant”, “i think it would be cool if they had a pier, here.”

IO: stuff like that. it’s still about you! just a little less deep

JB: Hmm, that’s a good idea.

IO: she talks so much, i’m sure shed see your effort and match you in conversation right away anyway

IO: like “oh jeremy is talking about non-science things, i should do that too!”

IO: at a certain point, you cant plan out the conversation anymore because you don’t know what the other person is going to say next!!

JB: Yeah. Okay. Thank you, IO.

IO: of course!

IO: now go on! remember to breathe and have fun!

JB: Okay, I will. Talk soon.

IO: <3

[JEREMY_IO_CONVERSATION_END_19:12]

[JEREMY_IO_CONVERSATION_START_19:13]

JB: <3

[JEREMY_IO_CONVERSATION_END_19:13]

Jeremy sighed and exited the bathroom. Leslie was leaning against the wall outside the door, staring off into space with a blank expression. It was not a look that he was used to seeing on her. She jumped when she noticed him walk out.

“Oh! There you are! Ready to go?” she asked.

“Oh, uh, you’re here. What—what about the table?”

“Taken care of!”

“But the check—”

“Taken care of!” she repeated, impishly.

“I said I could pay for myself,” he waggishly squinted his eyes at her.

“And I said I understood. But I didn’t say that I wasn’t going to pay for you, anyway!”

He hummed and examined her suspiciously. She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips to keep herself from smiling. Jeremy leaned forward with his dubious expression, and tried to get her to break.

“Yes?” she questioned, daring him to fight her on it.

He paused.

“Thank you. That was very kind of you,” he said.

She backed off and let her triumphant grin shine through.

“You’re very welcome, Jeremy. Thank you for coming with me!”

“But next time, I will see it coming. You won’t have the element of surprise.”

“Oh, next time, huh? Are you implying that we’ll do this again?”

“Well— wh— hold on—” he sputtered.

“Oh, come on, let’s go!” she laughed and guided him be the arm, “we still have research to do!”

[04-18-2018; 19:27_Research_Video_Log_005_START]

The two of them each carried two buckets from the parking lot, and down to the beach. The air was cool and crisp, and the sun had just descended over the horizon. The sky was a vibrant mix of pink, yellow, and orange right where the sun used to be. Shades of blue fading to navy encompassed the sky directly above them. People roamed the beach and the water, walking, playing, and swimming. They had taken their shoes off and rolled their pants up to make traversing the sand easier. They planted themselves in the middle of the beach, away from the shore to ensure they collected dry sand. The camcorder was placed behind them, filming the two of them on the sides of the picture and the lakeside in the middle.

Little was said for the first five minutes; they simply gathered sand and listened to the waves. It took slightly longer than they expected since they forgot to buy tools to scoop the sand with. The buckets were deep, but their hands would prove to be perfectly fine instruments.

Jeremy cleared his throat.

“I, uh, always liked the beach,” he croaked out.

He immediately wanted to kick himself. What kind of conversation starter was that? He barely shared anything. It just made him sound boring and stupid. Jeremy shook his head in disappointment.

“Me too! The sound of the waves is so calming,” she replied, “I have a… I don’t know what you’d call it, a sound machine?” she motioned with her hands and sculpted the shape of it in the air, “Anyway, one of my favourite settings on it is the beach-waves ambience.”

Jeremy certainly didn’t expect a response as detailed as that one. He tried not to think too hard about what to say next in order to keep the conversation moving.

“Ah, I remember that. You played that and some light music playing at the dinner party. It was very atmospheric, I liked it a lot,” he complimented without a second thought.

“Oh, you did?” her eyes lit up as she continued to scoop sand into her next bucket, “I was nervous about that day! I was originally going to just put on my sound machine, but I thought that maybe it would seem a little weird or out of place to everyone else… so I decided to put on some music, too.”

“I think either would have been fine,” Jeremy assured her, “I think the combination of the two made for a particularly peaceful setting, but both of them fill the silence. That, in itself, is helpful.”

“Huh, well… thank you, Jeremy!” she chirped and put the lid on her first sand-filled bucket.

“What I really liked were the composers, though,” he continued, “Vivaldi, Bach, Monteverdi. All very good choices.”

Jeremy capped his first full bucket.

Leslie chuckled with a hint of discomfort.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t really know who any of those guys are. I just found a really long compilation online and let it play,” she confessed.

“Oh. Really? W—well. That’s okay,” he shrugged off, “I don’t think it’s common knowledge. You’d actually-probably recognise their famous concertos if you’d heard them. I really only know their names because my mother had me take music lessons as a child.”

“Was it piano?” she asked, instinctively.

“Um, yes,” he replied, stifled, “How did y—”

“Lucky guess?” she shrugged with a goofy grin, “And, well, I saw you moving your fingers to the music while we were setting the table for dinner.”

Jeremy tensed his body and felt his face heat up. He tried to keep himself engaged in the discussion. In unexpected situations in the past, he relied on ending the conversation and leaving. He didn’t have that option this time. And, even so, he wanted to be able to share for Leslie, anyway.

“Y—you saw that?” he said, hoarsely.

“Sorry,” Leslie responded, “I wasn’t trying to snoop,” she explained.

“O—oh, no, I know. It’s alright, I understand.”

Her face subtly brightened.

“You do?” she smiled.

“Yeah. I was doing it out in the open in your house, after all,” he cleared his throat, “So, yes, I do play the piano. Or, did, that is. I haven’t played in years, now. I’m likely out of practice, but it’s not the kind of skill you forget easily.”

“It’s muscle memory! Like walking, or riding a bike,” she added.

“Yeah, essentially,” he said and finished scooping sand into his last pail.

Leslie capped her second bucket of sand shortly after. They sat together in silence, considering their next steps. Plenty of people remained at the beach, running around and enjoying themselves. A sliver of red colour lingered at the horizon. Otherwise, the sky had shifted to a deep blue or black, with the stars beginning to show. A group of people off in the distance gathered around and started a raging bon fire. In the other direction, another group lit flying luminaries, and released them, one by one, into the air over the lake. The both of them rose to their feet, and felt a fresh breeze blow passed them and down the shoreline. They looked at each other.

“Should we—”

“Do you want—”

They spoke over each other.

“Sorry,” they said in unison.

They both snickered awkwardly.

“You go!” Leslie blurted out.

“Okay, ye—uh—,” Jeremy said, “Do you want to go back to the lab, and call it a night? Or, we could, I mean, since we both enjoy the lake— just, it would make sense if we—”

“Stayed for a bit?” Leslie completed his thought.

“Yeah, right, yes. That. If you want to do that, just, well, I’m completely content to stay. Usually April, or this time of year in general, just given our geography— tonight is— unique,” he rambled.

“It’s a nice night!”

“Exactly,” he confidently gestured to her, “Exactly, what you said. And why not take advantage of the opportunity to enjoy it.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Leslie imitated Jeremy’s voice.

His face lightly flushed out of shock and he smiled with pursed lips. Leslie bent down, picked up the video camera, and handed it to him.

“We can probably leave the buckets of sand here. But we might want to take this with us.”

“Good point.”

“Let’s go for a walk,” she motioned for him to follow her along the shoreline.

#do you have the time?#episode 015 #leslie #jeremy #io #time travel #science fiction #writers on tumblr #hello from the past!#like the really far past #like july 24th #that was the day i scheduled this to go up #the real inspiration behind this story is just so that i can talk to people in the future #one more episode to go to complete the arc!#which will be up next week #next week for you not for me #its like three weeks away for me #because TIME TRAVEL #it never gets old hahaha #been trying to focus more on characters individually lately #before it was really heavy on leslie now its heavy on jeremy with a bit of leslie characterisation #leopold will probably get some more attention soon #altho there are still some things about jeremy that need to be uncovered #seriously what is UP with this guy #what a strange mom he had #why is it that he and madison have such a rocky relationship #also there is a link in this one too? weird. it goes to a lab talk!#crazy! its like there is some kind of continuity #makes you wonder about the other lab talks...

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