#yeah ik she probably would’ve ate it BUT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anunvalidcritic · 4 years

Text

The Boys: SN2.5

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

I just finished a documentary on Netflix but as soon as I saw the time I knew I had to come here and do my job for the people!

WE GOTTA GO NOW

(Photo Credit: @01091006)

Watching the recap makes me want to believe in the relationship of BECCA and BUTCHER

Anyways, this movie introduction is LAME!!!!!!!!!!

“Yeah, so what is that?” - RUBY

I bet you a dollar she’s gonna says she’s a lesbian.

CALLED IT

I honestly just want to hear the director say cut at this point...

I see the supes are still fuckin’ up impoverished areas.... good to know...

“So, what, they’re all starving but one of them’s got a fucking cell phone?” - HOMELANDER

bro ASHLEY should not have a job where she’s fucking scared all the time. Hope she doesn’t meet her demise by dying in this series.

I get that BUTCHER wants to release his angry but that definitely wasn’t the way to go my dude.

“LIBERTY, that supe that RAYNOR was looking into turns out it’s STORMFRONT. Vought changed her name, they’ve been moving her around like a fucking Catholic priest.” - HUGHIE

wtf did he mean by canary. Did he mean it as way of him being able to sense danger or something??

ICONIC DIALOGUE

“What are you watching” - HUGHIE

“A show called Eat My Dick.“ - MOTHER’s MILK

is KIMIKO about to set something on fire?? FRENCHIE stay on that ass

TERROR’s back!!

I wish my mom’s do was that obedient.

What a fake relationship.... lol the way he shook his head when he said “french toast”

Ik this mf isn’t dragging the musical Hamilton just because the lead actor wasn’t a white man?????

Bros/Bruhs Dear Evan Hansen is a really good musical. If you don’t like hearing all the singing I get it but it has a strong message of what kids these are going through and what they’re willing to go through just for a little bit of notoriety.

“Bitch ain’t right in the head.” - RUSSIAN GUY 1

you got that right!!!!

BRO SHE DIDN’T HAVE TO DO ALL OF THAT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

I like how he kept shooting her in the same spot and didn’t even try to go for the head.

“Merde.” - FRENCHIE

ICONIC DIALOGUE

“No, we... we came ‘cause we’re worried.” - HUGHIE

“Your cunt sense tingling, is it?” - BUTCHER

“Just so you know that’s TERROR’s girlfriend.” - AUNT JUDY

“What?” - HUGHIE

“His fuck pig.” - AUNT JUDY

Bro BLACK NOIR has no fucking chill whatsoever!

“Ma’am, do you have any nails, ball bearings, electrical wiring, pressurized aerosol products. I need a can about this big. *motions with hands the size* Really appreciate it.” - MOTHER’s MILK

dang, he has me really thinking if I have any of those things in my house smh Lol

oh fuck no not ANNIE’s MOM... send this bitch back home!

Ik this racist mf is not inserting herself into a conversation that she definitely has no right to be in???

“Why are you talking to a stranger about out relationship?” - ANNIE

FUCK A TEAMMATE

Sometimes you just gotta walk away from the bullshit and deal with it another day...

Bro it’s the screen writer who got his dick froze and broken off by a supe while having sex!!!!! And his friend EVAN!!! Some of the best screen writers in the game KMSL

“Guest spots on Queer Eye.” - SETH

My mom fucking loves that show

.... so is MAEVE bisexual and ELENA a lesbian or are they both bi??

“We’re gonna take that motherfucker down.” - MAEVE

BUTCHER really is about to commit suicide like that?!?!

Totally forgot about ROBIN he moved onto ANNIE so quickly

Well... BUTCHER kinda said what I was thinking

He better not knock the shit out this boy again LMAO

KIMIKO + CHERIE = BBDB (bad bitchies doing business)

“Que passe-t-il?” - FRENCHIE

Bro you just can’t name drop her brother like that... that wound has not healed yet.

It’s the cussing in the church for me

I bet that old ass man was problem thinking “these goddamn millennials.“

Not another fucking motivational commercial

Yeah she got a problem that bitch is racist! You know if his heart wasn’t fucked up he could kill her right then in there.

“Look, I know it’s not easy losing your job. Okay? When I got fired, I tindered my way through Barcelona. Everyone in that city ate my paella. Fucked a guy with elephantiasis. But I got through it and so will you.” - ASHLEY

I bet you anything she no longer has a WAP iykwim

Previous speedster = MR. MARATHON

VICTORIA don’t start lookin’ all scared now! As Megan Thee Stallion once said, “talk yo shit.”

BRO PLEASE TELL THIS IS SOMETHING HE’S THINKING ABOUT DOING AND NOT ACTUALLY DOING!!!!!!!!!!

Now he’s gonna go runnin’ to STORMFRONT after this little mental break down

ICEMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why is she speaking about LENNY in a past tense?? Is he dead?...nvm

it’s amazing how this dude can walk after going through all of that and ofc the goddamn dog gives them away!!

House is fucked up Ik the neighbors heard all of that ruckus.

BLACK NOIR must be a lab rat because if anybody else had walked through that probably would’ve died.

“You can’t. Roll the dice cunt.” - BUTCHER

I hope this woman has home insurance.

Seeing this episode makes me want to be a movie set even more

STARLIGHT GOTTA CHILL

I don’t see how someone can be so racist but use urban slang like “what’s up”???

Aerosmith’s - Dream On is a legendary classic

These ppl are going extra hard like woah there my dudes

WHAT THE HELL IS IN STROMFRONT’s DNA?!?!??!?!

________

I think it’s safe to say that today’s episode wasn’t as nearly weird as Episode 4. As usual a lot went down in this episode and I’m just gonna let all this information marinate in my brain. But I’ll never forget that everyone’s a critic when their opinion matters the least. Episode 6 will be next week.

128 notes · View notes

sapphosclown · 3 years

Text

hsmtmts 207 spoilers !!

felt like rewatching it here’s me thoughts 🤪

EJ AND GINA CO-ANCHORS SO TRUE

the 2 seconds of gini content love to see it

ok nini said the song means so much to her and then repeatedly tells ricky it means nothing 🤨

ej and ricky talking in the beginning 🥰

SEB LOOKED SO SAD THAT THEY COULDNT DO DEAR EVAN HANSEN AW

kourtneys like cut away where she’s giggling ab howie i love her

i love her except keep ur phone on silent queen 😚

“i… have.. abs???”

“i also padded the tush for you” “aw thanks i actually needed that”

THE FAKE ZOOM ON CARLO’S PHONE LMAO

“i would” LMAO

nini why are those heart eyes at gina so aggressive 😏

“we have to get even… right?”

why are they all so stupid i love them

everyone was so shocked gina volunteered to be look out

ok but don’t leave nini and kourtney unsupervised either bc they actually stole ginas stuff too 😁

ginas so pretty

WHYD THEY ALL YELL WILDCATS THEYRE SO DUMB

Anyways kourtney is also cute as hell in this ep

sorry i don’t like miss jen romance plots

“what’s your name” oh shit oh fuck oh shit what do i do- “diane”

north high extra making gina uncomfy for 1 minute straight

that’s the face of a lesbian who doesn’t wanna talk to this man if i’ve ever seen it

“can i get your snap” is so funny to me

RISOTTO

THEUR AWKWARD LUGHS WHEN THE GUY LEAVES LMAO THEYRE BOTH GAY IDC

it’s the way they’re bad lookouts

why the fuck did they make nini wear a tie under that shirt

that’s literally just mean whyd they do that

if they dressed me like that i’d probably wanna leave the show too /j

the only connection to hsm they have now is still calling them wildcats

i think they should’ve incorporated more hsm songs instead of periodically calling then wildcats when that’s not even their real mascot

FUGLY

“oh yeah? what isle we BOP TO THE TOP” good try babe

ej and gina being the only ones excited

don’t fucking talk ab ashlyn like that

gina standing up for ash so true

“miss jen said not to dance with the enemy” miss jen: 💃💃

sorry don’t care much for this performance

in the mean time i was eating a cheese pizza lunchable and both of the cheeses taste the exact same

rickys like fuck ur compliment… what is the compliment

it wasn’t even a compliment that was so bitchy

ricky doesn’t even like her but he looks back at her later

ik theyre just trying to break up the couples but i like that ashlyn is the center of a love triangle

plot twist red is jealous but also has a crush on antoine

tom holland on stilts

no ash loves him so much aw

also how can anyone see ej in that shirt and think straight man ik that’s stereotyping or something but COME ON

he knew damn well he was being rude

EJ “yesssss” LMAO I LOVE HIM

it’s ok ej i think the mob song is great (this version at least i haven’t heard the og sorry)

he didn’t have to be bitchy telling nini to leave

sad she didn’t perform but also i think she would’ve looked goofy lol

i’m gonna watch the performance cause i like it but here’s what i remember

ej shouldve gotten a solo

why does ricky have a guitar

ashlyn absolutely ate that blonde bitch up

red too absolutely ate

yk who else ate. carlos

HE ATE THAT ONE NOTE I STG

also kourtney and gina advancing so true

although their dancing looked kinda weird cause it was just them idk anyways

um yeah this performance is fun i’m watching it now

i didn’t notice when i watched the first time but whyd the captions spoil it was howie 😐😐

jealous red looked so funny

also east high won sorry

seb that’s what i said they should’ve had a judge

nini really said oh well we’ll do it anyways like no queen you’ll literally be disqualified

EJS FACE WHEN THE CAMERA PANNED TO HIM LMAO

rickys kinda right the song doesn’t really fit it’s too much of a pop song not musical theater

look back

i can’t believe the mf teacher took the mask. how fucking pathetic.

i don’t like that nini won’t fucking talk to ricky about how she feels even when he tries to talk to her like guys you could fix your relationship very easily

also anti romantic portwell it makes me so uncomfy

although howie being the beast i- plot twist idk how i didn’t see that coming

i like that her music she’s going by nina i think that’s kinda fun

also the preview… i stg ej and gina are gonna have some sort of moment and i’m gonna hate it

if ej doesn’t have a good amount of screen time i’m rioting

the preview pictures looked like ricky and nini make up

OH YEAH EJ GASTON MOMENT PLS

ok that’s all i think thank you

#idk who liked reading these but it’s fun for me 🤪#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 spoilers

7 notes · View notes

forehead-enthusiast · 5 years

Text

I Do

Pairing: Jaemin x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Royalty!AU, Arranged Marriage AU, perhaps a small dash of what could be interpreted as implied smut?? but I don’t interpret it that way so its up to you

Word Count: 5.3k

Summary: The prospect of marrying someone you’d never met devastated you. However, your new husband never ceases to surprise you.

A/N: ahhh my first fic in a little while!! ik it’s quite long, but i hope you’ll give it a read! thank you!!

You waited in front of the church doors, a veil covering the devastation in your eyes. Your mother pressed a hand to your shoulder in some cheap imitation of comfort, as if she wasn’t the one who got you here. She gripped you too tightly, as if to imply escape was impossible. The white fabric of your dress creased under her fingers, and you subconsciously wondered if it would be wrinkled as you walked down the aisle. No more tears were left in your eyes; they’d fallen, one by one, all through the night, and had dried into a red stain that no cosmetic could cover.

The church doors opened.

The organ blared, the choir sang. The guests stood up and turned, their feet shuffling against the tiled floor. It was a cacophony. Nightmarish. Your knees shook as you took step after step towards the future you would have never chosen. You felt like you were walking towards a guillotine, and almost wished you were.

You made it to the altar. If only lightning could smash through the stained glass and strike you before the vows, you’d be saved. You stared at the ground and prayed fruitlessly, not bothering to listen to the empty words the priest proclaimed.

They weren’t true anyway. There was no love to promise in the first place. You honestly weren’t even sure if you knew which prince you were marrying. Ever since you were born, names of rulers and their heirs had been thrust upon you, to befriend, to charm, to capture. They were all just blurred faces, overshadowed by the jewels on their clothing and the parents on their shoulders. Did it really matter who your parents had eventually chosen? It’s not as though they’d work to try and find someone you’d love, let alone like. You hoped it at least wasn’t some man old enough to be your grandfather, but reconsidered. Maybe they’d die quickly and leave you to be the happiest widow alive. That was the best you could hope for, you supposed.

“And do you, y/n, take Jaemin to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

The words came out of your mouth flatly. They’d been practiced, ordered from you. You felt nothing offering them to the man before you- no affection, no intrigue, no guilt.

You’d never meant anything less in your life.

“And do you, Jaemin, take y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

You barely took note of how young the voice sounded. In the back of your mind, you were disappointed that you couldn’t hope for him to die early.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Unknown hands reached out to lift the lace that covered your face, and you looked up to see your husband for the first time. He was young. He couldn’t be more than a year or two older than you, if that. He was pretty. He was smiling.

Then he wasn’t.

His face fell as he looked upon yours, and you wondered if you were truly so disappointing looking before you recognized the expression on his face. Sympathy. Guilt. He’d seen the redness of your eyes, the sadness etched into every feature of your face. He hesitated to kiss you, and for the first time today, you felt something. A sense of emotional closeness, you supposed. He was just the same as you. Not some old man looking for a younger toy, not some rich bastard looking for a new trophy. Just a person, too young to be treated like an adult, marrying someone they didn’t know.

“...Just do it.”

He looked even more guilty at that. He leaned in, pausing several times, and you wondered if your audience of strangers were confused. Just before your lips, he hovered, and whispered something only you could hear.

“I’m sorry.”

And he closed that final inch between you. You were stiff, but his lips against yours were warm, and more tender than any other touch you’d felt before. You wondered what either of you had done to deserve this.

You wrapped your arm around his and walked out of the church together, with your well rehearsed smiles plastered on your faces as you shook countless hands and thanked countless people you’d never met for coming to this oh-so-happy occasion. He opened the door of the coach for you. A perfect gentleman. He climbed in after you, and you rode off.

The happy newlyweds.

Neither of you spoke a word as the stagecoach traveled over every bump in the road, and you let your mind be occupied by the sound of hooves against cobblestone. Your mind drifted about, visiting every dream you’d had for your life when you were naive enough to believe it belonged to you. All the adventures you’d longed for, all the places you desperately desired to see, all the life there was to live outside the castle walls. You couldn’t even pretend they were a possibility for you now.

Jaemin stared at the floor of the carriage, his mind clouded with conflict. His eyes would flick up to catch a glimpse of your face as you stared resolutely out the window.

He knew you more than you realized.

He’d been excited to hear who he was marrying. Unlike you, he’d recognized the name, and had lit up at the news. It wasn’t exactly what he’d envisioned, this coincidence planned by outside forces, but the prospect of getting to be with you had sounded wonderful to him. He hadn’t imagined you didn’t feel the same. He loathed himself for that. It’s not as though he could’ve done anything to change or halt the wedding, but he kicked himself for letting you see him so excited when you were so distraught. It was just so… insensitive of him. How could be hope to be a good husband when he hadn’t even stopped to imagine your feelings?

What bothered him the most, though, was that some part of him was still stubbornly happy to have you with him now. His forlorn bride. You looked beautiful despite how obviously sad you were. The lace of your dress draped against your skin like seafoam on waves. The lips (that he’d just kissed, he realized) were pink and reminiscent of budding roses. They matched the new flush on his cheeks.

You arrived at the estate, and he helped you out of the coach naturally. You looked over the beautiful building, surrounded by gardens and white marble statues, and sighed. This was your home now until you inherited the kingdom. It wasn’t really so different from the castle you’d left behind, but you were so different from the girl that had left.

Jaemin opened his mouth many times to speak as you were guided through the ornate hallways, but couldn’t find anything to say. He wanted to offer some sort of promise, some sort of comfort, but he looked at your back, ever so slightly hunched in defeat, and crumbled.

You ate dinner in silence.

Jaemin sat up in bed, waiting for his hair to fully dry. His eyes drifted around the large room, far too big for one person. Of course, it wasn’t. His heartbeat raced as he looked over at the other side of the bed, yet empty. It was an enormous bed; it probably could fit four of him, and was so velvety to the touch, it felt like a dream itself.

He flinched as the door creaked. You walked in, a nightgown on instead of your wedding dress, head still hanging.

“...Um! This is sort of weird, but, um, I’m Jaemin. It’s nice to meet you, or I dunno, marry you-”

“I’m y/n.”

“...Okay.”

He watched your figure, that looked so frail in the loose fabric of your pajamas, climb under the covers beside him. Well, beside him was a stretch. You curled up on the most distant edge, and he would’ve struggled to reach you if he tried. He sighed, and put out the light after gazing at your back facing him for a moment.

“Goodnight, y/n.”

He laid awake that night, listening to soft sobs that weren’t quite drowned out by a pillow, and cried a little himself.

You were already gone by the time he woke up. Had you… had you run away? In the middle of the night? He cursed himself, and swung a robe around his shoulders as he hurried into the corridor. His breathing grew heavier as he threw himself into room after room, looking for some kind of clue as to where you’d gone, and then suddenly- there you were.

He finally paused, and took in the sight of you surrounded by flowers.

It was the first time since you’d been wed that he’d seen something besides distress on your face. You looked peaceful, wind gently flicking at your hair. He breathed in the scent of petals and morning dew, happy to share anything at all with you. His eyes widened when he realized you’d noticed him.

“You’re… still here.”

“...Yeah.”

He walked over to the bench you were sitting on, and crouched down, his face in his knees before he looked up to face you. His brows scrunched together and a relieved smile bloomed on his face.

“I’m so glad.” And then, “I’m sorry for that.”

“Sorry? For what?”

His smile relaxed you. His entire self relaxed you, once you let it. The realization that he was in the same predicament as you hadn’t made the transition much easier, but nonetheless, the sincerity in his voice, his eyes, the very tips of fingers was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. You’d never felt that anyone was truly genuine to you before.

“For being happy you didn’t leave. I know the idea must’ve crossed your mind, and I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d done it. And maybe you’d be happier right now if you had. So I’m sorry.”

You didn’t know how to respond to his honesty. You thought you could deal with anything. Facade, pretense, selfishness, violence, you knew you could handle anything that was thrown at you. But this was just too different. He was different. A sliver of a smile cracked onto your face. It was a feeling you’d almost forgotten. You’d grown so used to the performance of joy you nearly failed to recognize the real thing.

“You don’t need to apologize.”

Jaemin’s heart throbbed when he saw that shadow of happiness on your face, and wondered what he could possibly do to brighten it even more. He stood up slowly, and asked cautiously if he could sit beside you and take in the morning. You nodded, and he sat down. His fingers fidgeted in his lap as he struggled to think of other things to say, but he just let the scenery speak in his stead.

You struggled to open up to Jaemin, despite how sincere you knew he was. Luckily, he didn’t give up easily. Every time you fell silent, every time you let a conversation die, he just smiled, and thought of something new to ask you.

No one had ever shown interest in you as a person before. He never asked about your family, your land, your title, but instead asked you little things. The meaningless things that somehow seemed more valuable to him.

“What’s your favorite fruit?”

You’d mumbled, “Grapes,” in reply, and woke up each morning with a bowl of them on your nightstand.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Yellow.” You’d found a bouquet of yellow carnations on your favorite bench. They didn’t look like they’d come from a florist. Rather, they looked clumsily but lovingly picked, and you put them in a vase with that small smile that Jaemin considered the highest reward.

“What’s your favorite dance?”

“That’s a secret.” Jaemin turned to you in surprise. It was the first time you’d shown a hint of humor in an answer, and he positively glowed. It was a bit bizarre to see him so happy at having an answer withheld from him. He grinned, and took one step closer to you than usual.

“You really won’t tell me?”

“Nope. And I’ll make sure you never guess.”

He was ecstatic.

You were… friends. The smile that once felt foreign on your face reappeared more and more frequently thanks to him, until it was as natural as when you were a child. The murky clouds in your heart didn’t dissolve, but unlike ever before, there was a glimpse of sunlight. You learned how to laugh again. Being around him was easy- he never made you feel like you had to be anyone but yourself. He’d race you through the gardens, and tease you when you threw your heels aside. He’d try and fail to make flower crowns out of the little white flowers nestled in the grass, and never got better at it. He’d pluck dandelions for you, and hand them to you with a grin.

He was the perfect distance from you. Closer than anyone, closer than your family or the servants you’d allowed yourself to grow attached to when you were still young and gullible, but far enough that you never felt any kind of pressure to behave a certain way. You took a dandelion from him, and watched the seeds float away in the breeze.

“Jaemin, I’m glad it was you I married.”

Jaemin’s heart paused for a second, then beat rapidly against his ribcage.

“Y-you are?” Maybe you felt the same way he did.

“Yeah. I was worried I’d been carted off to be some plaything for a nasty old tyrant of a man.”

That was not a very high bar to exceed. Jaemin felt his heartbeat slow down to its usual pace again. He swore to himself internally that he’d make you really, truly happy you married him if it killed him. He’d only fallen harder in the passing weeks. Your smile made butterflies migrate to his stomach no matter how often it occurred nowadays, and with every day that came and went, you were more beautiful to him than the girl he married.

You liked his smile too. That was an understatement. His bright smile was infectious, and made his handsome features all the more boyish and sweet. Sometimes it seemed as though it made your heart beat faster, but you seriously doubted that thing inside you still had the capacity to do so. For years now you’d sworn it had died, and you were just a miraculous walking corpse.

Still, as the weeks continued to pass, it seemed like it was working better than it ever had. You noticed it pounding when Jaemin took your hand to lead you through the garden to a new secret spot he’d found, just by a small pond. You held your skirts above your knees and waded through it. You’d never done that before, and laughed out loud when Jaemin got scared by a frog. The pounding had to be from the excitement of finally daring to do the things you imagined, but had never been allowed to try back home.

Sometimes you really did feel happy here. It was hard not to, with Jaemin as your partner to explore and discover all the estate had to offer. But no matter how hard you tried to forget all that you’d wished for in the past, images of adventure always found their way back to you in your dreams. You tried to push them farther away. You’d gotten a best friend for a husband- that was more than you could hope for.

Jaemin took you by the hand again today, promising a very big surprise. You hurried down the hallways, giggling like schoolchildren, until you reached an imposing wooden door. The estate, big as it was, always seemed to have new rooms to find.

“Close your eyes, y/n. Are you peeking?” He waved a hand in front of your face before pushing open the doors with a creak and guiding you inside.

It was… an empty room. A beautiful one, but empty nonetheless. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling, and the floor was mirror smooth, your skirt just reflected upon it.

“Jaemin, what is this?”

“It’s a ballroom. For dancing.”

You playfully groaned as you remembered the little secret you’d kept from him all that time ago.

“So that’s your plan.”

“Hey, it’s the best I got.” He held out his hands, and waited stubbornly until you took them. He pulled you gently towards him.

“So, y/n, what’s your favorite type of dance?”

“Not. Telling. Besides, we don’t even have any musicians, how are we supposed to dance at all?”

“Who needs ‘em?” He began to hum, a little out of tune, but the sound still rang out in the empty, echoey room, and you laughed at the orchestra of his voice. He spun you around, and you shrieked with laughter. Eventually, you both took off your shoes in favor of sliding around the glossy floor in your stockings. You had spent a lot of alone time with Jaemin, but even then, there was always some guard or servant walking by or watching from a ways away. Here, you were really alone. The only other people there were your images on the floor, looking just as euphoric as you both felt.

He twirled you into him, and you landed softly against his chest. You’d never really taken notice of it before, but he was strong. Broad. Your heartbeat sped up. You tried to convince yourself it was from the dancing. He smiled softly, and tucked some of your flyaway hairs behind your ear.

“Come on, just tell me. I even found a ballroom for us to do whatever it is you like.”

You sighed, and buried your head in his chest. He completely froze, redness managing to reach his ears in record time. He’d gotten so close with you, he sometimes forgot how madly in love he was with you. This was an intense way to be reminded.

“Jaemiiiin.” It was the first time he’d heard you whine like that, and he pressed his hands to his face, trying to stop himself from screaming with affection.

“Jaemin.” You propped your face up, your chin on his torso now. “Jaemin, I can’t dance at all. I don’t have a favorite type. I don’t have any type I can even do.”

He burst out laughing, and you threatened to storm off.

“No! No, I’m sorry, please come back.” His apology was somewhat dampened by his roars of laughter, but you reluctantly stayed. He was sitting on the floor now, wiping tears from his eyes as he gasped.

“You really are so cute.”

You blushed. You didn’t even know you could. Jaemin blushed too when he saw you flush, which just made you flush more, and in response, he did, and so on and so forth. The whole room seemed to heat up just because of your competing fiery faces. Jaemin jumped up and pushed his hair back in an effort to compose himself.

He held out his hands again.

“Come on. Come on, don’t be shy.”

You took them begrudgingly.

“Alright, step backwards with your left foot.” Your eyes widened, but you obeyed. “Okay, now your right. Uh-huh, just like that.” He taught you carefully, leading you around the dancefloor with that kind of gentlemanly grace that came naturally to him. He yelped melodramatically when you stepped on his toes, and chuckled when you smacked his arm in indignation. He hummed again, just next to your ear, and you felt like you were floating, despite your continued clumsiness.

His impromptu song and lesson came to an end. You looked up, still entranced, and saw Jaemin with a smile gentler than all his afternoon sunshine ones before it. It was soft like the evening sun, just before it melts completely into the horizon.

You found it hard to let go of his hands.

Jaemin glanced over at you as you climbed into bed, the nightgown you were wearing tonight barely different from the one you wore your wedding night. It still managed to make him nervous though, he’d never gotten used to it. You laid down on your faraway section of mattress, and as Jaemin thought about your head buried in his chest, he felt bolder than he ever had before.

“Y-you can come closer. If you want.”

You looked up in surprise, then at the space next to him, then at his face. You opened your mouth, then thought better and snapped it shut. Your hands gripped your bedsheets.

“Actually, um… I think I’ll stay over here.”

Jaemin was horrified at himself. He’d done it now, he'd ruined everything. He’d pushed too much, made his feelings too obvious, made you uncomfortable. God, how could he have been so stupid? He’d made it his goal to make you happy, not satisfy his own stupid wants. If you weren’t sharing a bed, he would’ve shoved a pillow onto his face and screamed.

He laid awake that night, tossing and turning, still furious at himself.

“Jaemin?”

His eyes darted over to you in the darkness, but he held his tongue, afraid you would tell him you were leaving to sleep somewhere else.

“Are you asleep?”

He thought about answering, “Yes!” and smiled to himself. As he was imagining that juvenile fantasy, the blankets behind his back shifted. He froze completely, unsure if he was imagining the rustling, the feeling of the mattress bending with another person’s weight. Was he imagining this warmth too? He had to be. You had turned him down just hours before. But for some inexplicable reason, you were now hovering just behind his back. He forced himself not to twitch as your fingertips grazed his back.

Why? Why were you doing this? Why didn’t you do it earlier? A thousand and one questions ran through Jaemin’s mind, but he suppressed them all, refusing to interrupt this moment. He could just feel you grab a tiny bit of his shirt’s fabric between your fingers, and he wondered if this was all a dream. If it wasn’t, there was a real chance his heart would burst right out of his chest onto the covers.

He didn’t get a single second of sleep that night, but got hours of a dream come true.

Just like always, you were gone in the morning, off to a garden or breakfast or something else. For the first time ever, he’d been awake as you clambered out of bed. He'd kept his eyes resolutely shut, not blowing his cover now, and panicked that you’d notice the flush on his face when he heard the sound of clothes being changed. That was an image he didn’t need floating around his mind all day, teasing him. He smacked his hand against his head over and over, trying to rid himself of it.

Every night since then, you’d been doing the same thing. Calling out to him softly, asking if he was awake, and then moving towards him to sleep peacefully. Your slow breathing warmed the fabric against his back, and he wondered if this was a reward or torture.

“Jaemin, you look awful. Did you sleep okay?”

“Hm? Oh. I’m fine. I just… had weird dreams.”

The dark circles that worsened by the day didn’t manage to make him less beautiful, but they were still concerning. Even he had to admit they were bad. As much as he painfully loved having you snuggling up to him every night, he was beginning to doze off during all your daytime endeavors.

So this time, when you cuddled up to him, he turned around to face you.

He wasn’t exactly ready to have your face that close to his, and reflexively wrenched his head back, as did you.

“J-Jaemin?! You’re awake?!”

You pulled at blankets to try and hide yourself, and he thought about how adorable you looked all bundled up. Agh, he couldn’t let himself get distracted. But wow, your cheeks were so red. You looked like a strawberry, ripened with summer heat. Focus, Jaemin, focus.

“Why are you doing this? I thought you didn’t want to.”

You pulled the blankets over your head, and he pulled them back down.

“I… I did want to. But. It’s. It’s embarrassing somehow! But I still want to. But I, I didn’t want you to know that I was embarrassed because then I’d be more embarrassed, and I don’t even know why but ever since we danced that first time everything you do embarrasses me and-”

Jaemin watched you ramble, and condemned himself for hoping. Hoping that this feeling of embarrassment you spoke of meant what he thought it might.

“Y/n, I am so unbelievably in love with you.”

Your tumbling words ceased immediately.

“What?”

“I love you so much. I’ve loved you for years, long before we got married. I’ve loved you since I first saw you, when you saved that frog at the garden party.”

“W-what?”

“I know you don’t remember it, I mean, we must’ve been about ten. But you saved a frog that was being bullied by some of the servants, and held it in your hands fearlessly as you put it back in the pond and I’ve been in love with you ever since that day. And I know it’s weird that that sparked my feelings for you, but it did. This isn’t the way I had wanted it to happen, but I always knew I wanted to marry you. I love you.”

“Jaemin! Stop… saying… that you l-lo… me.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“...There’s no need to apologize.”

He looked up at you, practically glowing with your pink cheeks. He reached out, and paused when you flinched.

“I’m sorry, did I scare you?”

“No, it’s just…”

“Embarrassing?”

You scrunched your eyes shut and nodded. He didn’t understand how you could somehow get him to adore you more each and every moment, but you did.

“Y/n, do you want to marry me?”

Your eyes flicked open.

“We’re already married?”

“But I want to know if you want to.”

“I… do.”

“Do you,” he gulped, nervous despite it all, “Do you love me?”

You avoided looking at him for a few agonizing moments before meeting his eyes and answering.

“I do.”

You'd never meant anything more in your life.

“Can I kiss you, y/n? For real?”

“...Yes.”

He tried to hold himself back, but practically tackled you in his eagerness. You yelped as you fell backwards, and your teeth clacked together. You winced in unison. He looked down at you, laying between his arms, and couldn’t believe it was real. You giggled lowly at the flush on his cheeks until he pointed out you were even redder.

He fell onto his elbows to be closer to your face. You both stared into each other’s eyes, unsure of when to close them. You squinted yours shut, and Jaemin’s heart leapt into his throat. He took a moment to admire this expression of yours, this “waiting for a kiss” face, and once it was burned into his memory, leaned down. He was almost too cautious, his kiss even more hesitant than the one that dubbed you man and wife, but once he saw you were still there waiting for another, surrendered.

He kissed you with all the passion he’d been suppressing, his lips locking with yours over and over, without a moment to breathe. He tasted like mint. Unaware of your own actions, you reached up to wrap your arms around his torso and hold him more closely to you. A thrill ran up his spine. If he was being honest, he really didn’t know what he was doing. This was only his second kiss, if you could even consider your wedding day one a proper first. He let instinct take over, biting your bottom lip gently. You flinched at the unfamiliar sensation, and he almost pulled away, but you just embraced him tighter. He took a moment to appreciate your breathlessness before leaning back down to press a kiss to the underside of your jaw. He smiled against your skin when he felt you tremble with surprise, and left a trail of light kisses all down your neck to your collarbone. You squirmed beneath him as he bit your neck lightly, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, and he popped up to face you again, looking completely entranced.

“Jaemin, you-”

“Sorry, your lips.”

“What, no, I-”

He cut off your sentence with the return of his lips on yours, rougher than before. He couldn’t lie, he’d imagined kissing you before, but his fantasies couldn’t live up to this feeling in the least. You were softer than he’d imagined. Smaller in his arms. Sweeter. Your voice took the form of high hums and gasps against his lips, and he found that all the more enticing. He ran his fingers through your hair, and felt almost afraid of himself and how much he wanted you.

“I’m sorry, y/n, I don’t know if I can stop.”

“I- well- it’s fine just,” You turned away, then let your glossy eyes alone flick back to him, flustered. “Just be more gentle.” He shivered with excitement at those words.

“...No promises.”

“Jaemin!”

He woke up before you this time. His arm felt heavy, and he looked over to see you snuggled into his shoulder, no attempt to be subtle this time. Your angelic appearance snapped him out of any and all drowsiness. Your hair was a mess. He apologized in his mind for that. Your lips were pinker than usual, and looked almost chapped from overuse. He apologized profusely in his mind for that. He placed his free palm on his face, still in disbelief.

He’d kissed you. He’d really kissed you. He’d kissed you a lot. And you’d kissed him back. He flushed just remembering. He could remember the way your lips felt vividly. Not vividly enough. The moment you woke up, he kissed you good morning. You jumped back instinctively, and he just laughed.

“I guess we both have to get more used to it.”

He leaned forward to place a peck on your nose.

“Doesn’t sound so bad.”

You nodded in affirmation, too bashful to verbally agree. What a night it had been for you. Just months ago, you would’ve never believed you could love someone. Could be in love with someone. Could even admit it. You made a feeble attempt to smooth out your hair, as though that would somehow make you composed enough to function like a real human today.

“I l-love you. Jaemin.”

He looked up in surprise, his jaw slack and eyes wide.

“I just… realized I didn’t say it while we were- you know.”

“You really want me to pounce on you again this early in the morning? Because I will.”

You smacked him with a pillow. “If you’re gonna be like this, I’m never saying it again!”

“Aww, no, I’m sorry.”

He pulled you back into a hug, sighing with contentedness. You relaxed into him.

“Y’know, I always wanted to go on adventures, but I think you might be scarier than anything else the world has to offer.”

“You want to go on adventures?”

“No, I meant like-”

“No, I know what you meant, but do you want to go on adventures?”

“I mean, yeah, but I want to stay with you even more.”

“Why do you have to choose?” He sat up, his eyes alight with invigoration. “Let’s just go! Together! We can call it a belated honeymoon. And a really extended one too. Where do you want to go? I don’t mind anywhere as long as it’s with you.”

It was your turn to tackle him, planting a too enthusiastic kiss on his mouth.

“You, Jaemin, are the best husband ever.”

He looked enormously pleased, if a little confused.

“Th-thanks!”

You spent the rest of the day rolling around on the bed, making plans, and smothering each other in kisses.

The happy newlyweds.

3K notes · View notes

smallestclowninthecircus · 3 years

Text

Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

#tma notes #tma

4 notes · View notes

bigfan-fanfic · 5 years

Text

Darkside Bakes 5 (Gender Neutral! Reader Batman Headcanons)

It was a very good idea to have hired assistants.

Because your... special clientele have certain dislikes.

Currently, the Mad Hatter and Maximillian Zeus are in a turf war. So obviously you can’t take sides.

But thankfully, you have two assistants who can handle special requests from villains in these kinds of conflicts - and who’s to know that you help out or take creative control?

So, you have Marcia handle an assortment of Alice in Wonderland-themed mille-feuille cakes and petit fours that the three of you spent about two days designing

And while she does that, you help Ike with a Mount Olympus dessert - a croquembouche (a tower of little balls of choux pastry) with a piped ring of creme patissiere at the top to make a cloud ring and twelve white macarons at the base to represent the 12 Olympians.

Ike has gotten so much better that you’ve promoted him from apprentice to assistant baker. He’s also moved into the other apartment above the bakery - you had enough money to buy the building next door and connect the two.

But anyway, renovations are complete, with a nice tiled storefront with a coffee bar. Most of the decorations are predominantly black, with white decoration. This brings all the attention to the colorful display rack.

And you start getting more and more customers, on top of your villainous clients. Enough that you might start having to consider hiring more people.

This might be a problem. Marcia and Ike might be okay with serving villains, but who knows if other people will? You’re still not sure if the police know about this place yet.

Or Batman. Thinking about Batman makes you paranoid.

He probably knows, but then why hasn’t he done anything yet? Or what if he has? What if Marcia is really Batman? She’s come up against enough villains in her time. But then you remember that you’ve seen Batman and Marcia at the same time.

Dick Grayson has come in several times since your first meeting, always willing to wait while you make a fresh cake. He never seems to come when the villains are active, though.

One time he came in with a redheaded boy about his age that practically bought out the display rack. You don’t know how anyone could possibly eat that many donuts.

You pride yourself for staying just under the radar enough to avoid undue attention. You’re just a little bakery that occasionally caters to villains. That’s all.

Until THE INCIDENT.

In the midst of making a cake for Black Mask - three layers of Genoise sponge, the top layer made using a custom mold resembling the man’s mask (which was a chore to make and not burn any of it), covered in a tempered chocolate shell and then decorated with white piping and chocolate-covered cherries in the eyes. - a man slammed the door open, nearly breaking the glass.

“Hands up, everybody! This is a robbery!” he calls, his face covered by a navy blue ski mask.

Ike raises his hands and steps in front of you and Marcia. Personally, you would’ve stepped behind Marcia. She has experience in these matters.

But at the moment the robber moves forward, brandishing his gun and about to conduct the robbery, someone else walks in.

“Now, what could be going on here?” the Joker asks sarcastically, his arm around Harley Quinn, her hammer drawn and scraping against the doorframe as they enter.

“I think it’s a robbery, Puddin’.” Harley simpers.

The robber has completely forgotten you in fear of the clown posse. Several clown-masked men stand on the other side of the glass windows, peering in. Ike has curled up in the fetal position behind the counter.

The Joker moves forward and tweaks the robber’s nose through his mask. “Now, I just wanted to take my Harley here to this place I heard so much about... and you’ve RUINED IT!”

There’s not much point in describing what happens next. It involves Harley’s hammer and a forced dose of Joker gas.

And while the Joker Gang strings up the body on the street, with its macabre grin and a note etched on the ground below it (an arrow pointing to your store and a smiley face accompanying the message “DO NOT ROB - OR ELSE!” Joker buys for Harley and himself a key-lime pie and two packs of snack size caramel-filled churros.

Joker hops up, stomach on the display case, to make a face at Ike. “Good work, kid! You can stay here.”

Marcia squares up with a heavy pan, and Joker laughs before turning and leaving.

When you call the police, long after they have gone, you have no choice but to lie. No, you didn’t see who did the crime. You were all baking in the back room, music turned up loud. You haven’t installed security cameras so that there’s nothing but your word for the cops to go on. No, sir, no idea why your store’s been marked Do Not Rob.

They have nothing to go on and they know it.

And overnight, your store has a boom. Everyone has heard the story, and now everyone has at least a little idea why your store is called what it is.

And apparently, the robber was part of one of Gotham’s old crime families, which are still kicking around beneath all the supervillainy, because you get a group of besuited older gentlemen entering your store and apologizing for your ordeal and offering you a partnership with a delivery service owned by one of them.

But, you know the old Latin saying: Quid pro quo.

One of the crime lords, a perpetually dirty fellow who seems to be called Matches Malone, comes in one day.

“May I help you, sir?” you ask. It’s policy to treat all customers with respect.

“Yeah, yeah. I was looking to talk to youse. Y’see, I was looking for a J-O-B for my littlest boy, and I was wonderin’ if you’d be in the market for - an errand boy or somethin’.”

And in walks the most angry-looking child you’ve ever seen. He looks like a little copy of his black-haired, blue-eyed father, except for striking green eyes, and a horrible scowl that makes you feel like you’ve personally offended him.

“Well, go on, son.”

“’sup. ‘m Danny.”

Not knowing if this is one of those “offers you can’t refuse” or not, you accept. On Danny’s first day as errand boy, Mr. Freeze comes in for his weekly iced donuts. And Poison Ivy shows up for meat pies, which her plants have grown uncomfortably hungry for. And Bane shows up for the Bolivian salteñas and Cuban-style croquetas you’ve started making on his request.

When the day is done, you almost ask Marcia to walk the kid home, but he refuses help.

And little do you know that when the boy leaves, he heads for Wayne Manor. And Damian Wayne sheds his disguise to report to his father.

“You were right, Drake. The Baker does consort with villains.”

Tim glares at Dick. “Told ya.”

“It’s not exactly illegal to sell to villains, though, is it?” Dick points out. “Practically everyone in Gotham sells to them.”

“I don’t know. It still seems like a front to me.” Jason says. “Calling your place ‘Darkside’ anything seems suspicious.”

“You didn’t have that cake.” Dick says wistfully.

“Yeah, because you and the Replacement ate them all!”

Before things can go down that road again, Bruce clears his throat. “Good work, Damian. You’ll keep working there for a bit longer. See if you can find anything more than an innocent villain-patronized bakery.”

“Of course, Father...”

#gender neutral reader #darkside bakes #batman headcanons #dc headcanons #headcanons

89 notes · View notes