#y'all this has been a horrible horrible binge year and i was JUST getting it under control and ohhhh my god

[dangitjm]

Health Update

Howdy, y'all!

I apologize for being the bearer of sour news, but my health has taken a turn for the worst this past week. I had the worst fever that I've had in decades this past weekend. WOW, it was bad. There were 5 layers of warmth on me, and I was still shivering. In and out of consciousness that entire day. I wasn't able to get a temperature reading because I was so bedridden, but it felt horrible, to put it the least.

I am getting better tho! I've found comfort in binging a lot of Helldivers, loredumping on Signalis, and eating chicken noodle soup. I want to get back into the swing of video editing and writing, finalizing these projects that I've been working on for weeks now. Thing is, since I have been sicked, I haven't been active nor been taking my ADHD medication. Productivity has been at an all-time low! But hey, I've still been progressing with my projects here and there. Speaking of which, one of them involves Signalis and I might just end up posting a shortened version here on this site of what, at this point, is becoming a full-blown dissertation.

A final note, I most likely got this illness of mine after arriving back home from traveling to Hawai'i. I've been traveling abroad the past year, you see. I've saved up a pretty penny when the lockdowns first happened, and I had plenty of reasons to devote some of my time to getting out and about. One of them was to see and experience more of the world, more of life, while I still could. It's been a worthwhile experience so far, now having reached London, Venice, Vancouver, and just this past month, the island of O'ahu. I have many stories and pictures saved of my travels and I might share them all one day.

I'll be keeping y'all updated (either on here or one of my other socials) if I finish one of my projects or if my health changes for the better or the worse. Until then, you take care of yourselves out there! Peace.

#dangitjm

[silentfcknhill]

FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS

Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)

I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.

2. Black Butler (2008-2014)

I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.

3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.

4. The Good Place (2016-2020)

The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets  alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)

Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.

6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)

This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.

7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)

While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!

8. Big Mouth (2017-?)

This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???

9. Dexter (2006-2013)

I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.

10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)

This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.

11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)

A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.

12. House (2004-2012)

Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.

13. The Office (2005-2013)

The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.

14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)

Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.

15. Bones (2005-2017)

One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.

16. The Simpsons (1989-?)

We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.

17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)

Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?

18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.

19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.

20. Winx Club (2004-?)

Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)

Honorable Mentions: 

13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh

Tagging: @bullet-farmer​ and anyone else who wants to!

#avatar the last airbender #the last airbender #avatar #legend of korra #the legend of korra #lok #atla #seinfeld #the good place #brooklyn nine nine #brooklyn 99 #rick and morty #orange is the new black #oitnb #big mouth #dexter #once upon a time #ouat #house md #house #rupaul's drag race #the office #all hail king julien #the penguins of madagascar #bones #the simpsons #ash vs evil dead #malcolm in the middle #a series of unfortunate events #asoue

[drethanramslay]

Part 2: Therapy

Pairing: Aurora x MC ( Iris Everette)

Word count: 3.2K words

Previous part is here

Warning: Includes triggers like eating disorders and mental illnesses

Tagging: @miyakokurono @agent-breakdance @trappedinfandoms @vampiregirlsblog @lilyofchoices (let me know if you want to be tagged😊)

Songs: Therapy by All Time Low and Feelings by Lauv

Forgive me if I make any mistakes 🙈

Aurora stood in the kitchen, tapping her fingers on the kitchen island. It was six in the morning and she knew that her roomates would be waking up in the next half an hour so that they get ready and head to the hospital.

Aurora just don't stand there like a mannequin, move your ASS.

Aurora wanted to make breakfast for her roommates as a gesture of thanks for letting them stay with her for the past three months. She also wanted to impress Iris. Not that the ship had sunk but, she wanted to reciprocate for all the cute gestures she had done so far. Like buying her breakfast at iHOP and having Disney movie marathons, cuddling in her bed.

It had been three weeks since Iris was discharged from the hospital. God, she was a horrible patient. That girl had the audacity to show up in her hospital gown, dragging the saline with her for her rounds at 5am in the morning.

And that's not it.

When they sent her to her room to sleep, they ended up finding her with Amar, her nine year old patient. She was CHECKING on him apparently. It was a joy ride for Dr. Ramsey to explain the parents why their doctor was roaming around in a hospital gown, looking like a lunatic who escaped from the psychiatric ward. It was hilarious to see Ramsey getting worked up over Iris, like a mother hen.

It was so hard to deal with her stubborn nature but there were good times as well. Times like when Aurora would feed her the bland hospital food. Or the times when they played that question game.

Aurora learnt a lot over those two days in the hospital. Things like how Iris was a valentine baby. Or how she loved playing the piano, guitar and singing, her obsession with KitKat and the list goes on and on.

What Aurora enjoyed the most, was sleeping and cuddling with Iris. Aurora craved Iris every night after that, but she didn't dare say it loud so that she didn't look clingy.

And here she was, trying to make breakfast. She settled on making bacon.

How hard could it be?

Well, she got her answer when she almost set the fire alarm. "ARGH YOU PIECE OF-" Aurora shouted in frustration. Smoke was everywhere and she opened the windows to let most of it out.

She looked at the burnt bacon and grimaced. "Stupid goddamn pig!"

Her roommates stepped out, groggy with tired eyes. "What's burning?" Sienna asked.

"Outta the way! I have a fire extinguisher." Elijah said as he zoomed towards the kitchen. He was going so fast that it almost seemed like he was gonna do a wheelie on his wheelchair.

Aurora held her hands up. "Whoa whoa! Calm down everybody...I just burnt breakfast."

"Awww...you wanted to surprise us with breakfast??" Iris cooed as she leaned on the counter, her voice groggy and her eyes sleepy. "Key word being 'wanted'. I know you all have been so nice to me...so I just wanted to return the gesture." Aurora pouted.

Iris just giggled and walked around the island counter. "You are so precious, Rory." She kissed Aurora on the cheek.

Aurora was taken aback. She felt her face heating up and thanked the lord that her dark skin covered her blush.

"Oh god.. Can y'all stop being cute for like a minute?" Jackie groaned but, she could see the teasing glint in her eyes.

Iris just rolled her eyes. "Ignore her Rory. What if I teach you how to achieve prime crispy bacon?" Iris asked as she dumped the pan in the sink and took out a new one.

Aurora smiled. "Yeah, that would be nice."

🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓

Aurora had finished checking in on her patients by two p.m and she headed towards the cafeteria to have her lunch. She wasn't that hungry but she knew that she won't get an opportunity to eat later.

She made sure her pager was on so that she could have constant updates on the patient in room 304, that had arrived this morning.

It was a teen girl who had swallowed a fork. When she sat to speak with her, she learnt that the teen had eaten her lunch and headed to the bathroom so that she could puke.

"How did you end up swallowing the fork?" Aurora asked Elyanna when she was awake and conscious.

"I kept on trying...but it didn't work...so I tried to go deeper and- it got stuck."

Aurora shut her eyes as she felt a pang in her heart. This case hit home. Reminding her of the vicious cycle of her eating disorder she had to break, all by herself. Her father brushed it off as a puberty thing and her mother actually congratulated her when she became thin and weak.

She loved her parents, despite them treating her like a trophy child, who always complained about how what she was doing wasn't enough. She even got a chewing down by her parents when she didn't make the diagnostics team. But she didn't care, because Iris deserved it completely.

I mean, they are your parents, you can't hate them. They brought you into this world. Right?

She finished her salad and coke while she scrolled through the phone, making a list of rehab programs which she thought Elyanna would like. Crushing her can, she headed towards the room.

"Hey, Ellie. How are you feeling?" Aurora asked kindly as she opened the chart.

"Wierd." Aurora looked at the blue eyes and raised her eyebrow.

"Like I have eaten a hearty meal. And I am satisfied." The frail girl said with a small smile.

"Never thought I would hear that about hospital food." She chuckled and the girl giggled.

"But on a serious note, I am happy and proud of you."

"For eating a meal?"

"Yes. See, I know what it's like. I-" Aurora took a deep breath, "I too, used to binge eat and then puke it all out. Somedays, I would starve myself as a punishment. The day when I decided that 'No, we are going to stop this right here right now' and ate a good meal, I felt... liberated."

"I also want to be liberated from this but it's like an addiction...the need to look thin and beau-" the girl stammered.

"No! Don't for a second think that you are not beautiful. Don't let society's image of small breasts, thin waist determine beauty. Beauty is what comes from within. Beauty is not covering up your scars, but wearing it like a goddamn medal. Beauty is fighting for yourself. Beauty is loving yourself. Beauty is breaking the stereotypes and being your own person. So promise me, you won't give a shitty excuse that you want to be beautiful." Aurora said assertively.

"Okay. I promise." The girl said, with a small smile.

"Good."

"So what are the steps from here on? I want to change and reset. I want to be the better version of Elyanna Johnson. Ellie 2.0"

"Well, first of all, you are all cleared to go home. You can choose which rehabilitation program you want. Then it's your path to rediscovering by yourself."

"I can choose??" The girl was bewildered, which showed that she really didn't have much choices in her life. That she was kept under contol, not allowed to have any freedom.

Aurora smiled. "Yes you can. We can talk to your parents, if you want."

"That would be amazing. Thank you so much doctor."

⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️

"Your daughter has been diagnosed with purging disorder, and it has been confirmed by Dr. Francis, our resident psychiatrist." Aurora said to the parents, as they stood outside Elyanna's room.

"Purging?" The mother, Mrs. Washington asked.

"You daughter has been having eating disorders. It means that after eating, she forces herself to vomit. She was using the fork to induce it, but it slipped causing her to swallow and choke on it."

"Oh my god. How could I not notice it?" The mother gasped. Aurora rolled her eyes internally. She knew how oblivious her parents had been. In the last two hours, Ellie had opened up about them and Aurora was just plain disgusted.

Well, you would have noticed if you weren't so engrossed in your manicures and kitty parties.

"Eating disorders? That's just bullshit." Mr. Washington scoffed.

Aurora was taken aback. You gotta be kidding me..

"Sir, it's a real concerning matter. If untreated, it can lead to a tonnes of mental disorde-"

"Please. My girl Ellie has always been a tad dramatic. This is just a phase." He waved his hands dismissively.

"Sir, with all due respect, this is a very serious condition which requires rehab and thera-"

"Rehab??!! Therapy??!! What will our community think?? They will shun us." Mrs Washington exclaimed.

Mr. Washington placed a hand on his wife's shoulder, calming her silently before he turned his hard gaze at Aurora. "Dr. Emery. With all due respect, I know my daughter for the last seventeen years. A trip to our priest, will make all this- drama go away. Can we take her home?"

"But-" Aurora started before being interrupted by Mr. Washington. "Answer me."

Aurora gritted her teeth, counting till ten so that she could control the overwhelming need to punch the oblivious man's face.

"Yes."

Mrs. Washington clapped her hands. "Wonderful. C'mon honey, let's give out daughter the news." Aurora just stared through the window, looking at the spirit of the young girl, slowly draining out of her.

And she hated every second of it.

⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️

Aurora was in the new resident's lounge, taking a nap. She had been on her feet all day, running from one corner to another. Her legs were throbbing and were sore. She draped her coat over her face so that she could block out the light.

"What's up Big A?" Bryce asked as he threw himself on the other couch, groaning at the relief his back felt when it touched the soft cushions. He had had a tough neurosurgery which had extended for five hours. His hands were cramping from holding the clamps in place while Dr. Harper Emery worked her magic.

"Shut up Queen B. I want to nap." Aurora mumbled incoherently. Bryce just shook his head and closed his eyes. After a long moment, aurora broke the silence. "I'm scared."

"For what?"

"For my patient. I think she is suicidal."

"Why? Is she alone at the moment? Because if she is then we need someone checking on her continuously." Bryce said urgently. He knew how vulnerable these moments are.

"I have Danny checking on her every fifteen minutes. I think her parents broke her. Like... She has an eating disorder and she was completely on board to go to rehab and get well... but her parents, GOD THEY ARE SO INFURIATING. The mom is spineless, only worried about what other people think.. and the dad is so backward and refuses to believe that eating disorders are a thing. He thinks that a visit to the pastor will fix this." Aurora scoffs.

"Oh my-" Bryce was interrupted by the beeping of Aurora's pager. When she looked at the message, she bolted for the door. "Lahela, you are with me.  They are running a code on my patient."

"I'm with you." They both ran down the hallways and reached room 304. On entering the room they saw red. Red blood pooling on the side of the bed, while Ellie shook, vomiting.

"What the hell happened?" Aurora barked. "She just started puking blood not two minutes ago." The nurse said as they held the tray near her mouth.

"That's not supposed to happen, everything was fine when I checked an hour ago." Aurora ran around the bed and checked the vitals. Ellie had stopped puking and looked at Aurora and wheezed, "I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore."

"Ellie WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!"

"Um, Big A?" Bryce called her. Aurora turned her head, eyes flashing. "I think I know how." He picked up the empty wrapper.

"I think she swallowed the scalpel."

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

After a harrowing hour of surgery, Aurora marched towards the parents who were sitting in the waiting room. She walked up to them and showed them the bloodied scalpel, in a sealed plastic bag. "What is this supposed to mean?" Mr. Washington asked.

"This is what your daughter swallowed so that she could die."

The mother gasped while the father's jaw dropped. "Can't you see how serious this is? How this is bigger than any of us?" Aurora said in a cold voice.

"I-I- I didn't know.." the parents stuttered. "No. You do not get the right to say that. You damn well knew what was happening and chose to ignore medical advice. And it almost cost your daughter's life!!" Aurora spat out.

"We will heed by it from now on." Mr. Washington replied somberly, with teary eyes.

"You damn well should otherwise I-" Aurora began but she was interrupted by a voice. "Dr. Emery, can you help me with a patient?" Iris asked. Aurora sighed. "Yes Dr. Everette. I'm right behind you." Aurora sent a last poisonous glare their way before following Iris.

Iris dragged them into an empty on-call room, and locked the door. "Now tell me Rory, what happened?"

So Aurora spills about the events of the day, speaking so passionately, that Iris was blown away. She did not once interrupt her, intertwining their fingers and squeezing them to encourage her.

"I am just so pissed, I feel like breaking something." Aurora hissed. "Well...why don't you punch this...um...pillow?" Iris offered. Aurora stared for moment. "What? I don't have anything else to offer?!" Aurora just chuckled, tension slowly leaving her body.

"Okay, I will punch the shit out of this pillow." Iris stood up and held the pillow in front of her. Aurora landed a series of jabs and hard punches on it. They were so powerful that they pushed Iris towards the wall. When she felt her back against the wall she knew it was time to stop otherwise Aurora might end up punching her through the wall.

"Timeout!! Damn Rory, how did you learn to fight like that?"

"Been doing MMA for the last seven years. It helps deal with stress." Iris hummed and then sat on the bed. She pulled Aurora to sit in her lap, in such a way that her legs were thrown over Iris' thighs and she was facing Iris.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"I have seen you work with patients before and you are very passionate about it, no doubt. But this is affecting you way more than usual... See, I don't want to be pry but, why?"

Aurora sighed. "Because seven years ago, I was her." Iris held her hands and squeezed, encouraging her.

"As you know, my family is practically royalty. My mother is an actress and dad's a surgeon. They were always in the limelight and that meant that I was too. So how I appeared was important to them. And I hated how I looked, overweight and ugly. Sometimes, I still do."

"Rory, you are not fat."

"Right now, no. But, then I was a little plump. I was a nerd, kept to myself, stayed at home all day. My parents didn't like that. They would continuously throw jabs at me like, 'Aurora, you ar so fat that you could break the weighing scale' or like 'Aurora I am surprised you haven't hogged the entire pantry' or my personal favourite, 'Aurora you are such a collosal waste of space. You don't do any activities, you just sit in your room on that damn phone of yours, not doing anything constructive'... When the actual truth was that I was busy reading medical articles, making notes.

I had tried working out but people would snicker and laugh. I was so goddamn tired. I was never enough. My parents were never satisfied. I know they cared for me and that they loved me but some days, the snide remarks would just become so..."

"Loud." Iris completed the sentence.

"So, I started starving myself. As a punishment for not being good enough. They would feed me and I would throw it up in my bathroom, because I wasn't deserving. I hated myself and I couldn't look at my reflection because the ugly would just jump out." Aurora was crying quietly.

Iris let her cry. Let her mourn over her past self. Letting her make peace with her young self.

"My neighbour, a sweet old lady, pointed out that I was way too weak. And I knew that I had taken it far. So I decided to stop this vicious cycle. I seeked help from a psychiatrist and started MMA."

"It's been seven years...but I don't think you recover from such a thing ever. I think a small part of me will always loathe myself. That I am still the weak, pathetic and fat girl. What is that saying? 'Once a fat kid, always a fat kid.'" Aurora shook her head and tears streamed down her face.

"Can I say something?" Iris asked as she cupped Aurora's face. She wiped the tears, and tucked stray pieces of hair that had escaped her immaculate bob cut, behind her ear. "I think you are the strongest-" she kissed Aurora's left cheek "-the bravest" she proceeded to kiss her right cheek "-the prettiest" she kissed her forehead "-and the smartest woman I have ever seen." She kissed her on the nose and Aurora giggled.

"I am lucky to know you Aurora. I look up to you and I love the way you don't let your past define you. Everyday I learn something new from you, and it inspires to be a better person. And I like all of you. The silly, the practical, the ugly and the happy."

Aurora was swooning. Her feelings for Iris just bubbled to the surface. Her heart was bursting for the green eyes girl in front for her.

And in that moment she knew, that she was the one for her. Aurora surged forward and pressed her lips to hers.

Iris was shocked so as to say. To think that Aurora would like her, baffled her. She will leave you when she gets to know... She returned the kiss, tenderly, holding onto Aurora, as if she would vanish. That this was just a dream.

The sweet kiss turned into a passionate one. Both of them poured their feelings into the kiss. Pouring their dreams and their fears. It was euphoria, rushing through their veins, igniting their bodies. Iris pulled Aurora closer to her, to feel everything. Her hands roamed, memorising the curves, the dips, the way their lips moved in perfect synchrony, like two halves uniting as a whole.

Both of them knew that there was no going back from here.

They eventually broke apart, so that they could catch their breath. Iris pecked her lips once, twice, thrice. "So, you like me huh?" Aurora asked breathless.

Iris chuckled and gave a soft smile. "Well I don't go around kissing people like that. So I think this is a clear indicator that I like you..."

"So will you date me?" Aurora asked hopefully.

"Obviously Rory. But I would like to ask you out properly if you don't mind."

"I will be waiting."

This was so hard to write... It's hard when your own parents just brush off your fears and worries...it's hard...that shouldn't discourage you, reach out to your friends and make your own support system.... If you want to talk my dms are always open

Anyways, let me know how you liked it.

Like and reblog :))

#choices stories we play #playchoices #choices #choices stories you play #pixelberry #open heart #open heart 2 #ohsy #open heart fanfiction #aurora emery #aurora x mc #oh aurora #tw: eating disorders

[simplyshelbs16xoxo]

‘You Remind Me of Home’ Chapter 3: Under the Mistletoe, Watching the Fire Glow

Final chapter! Thank y'all so much for reading! Now, I must get back to The Adventure of Philip Anderson since my last holiday-themed fanfic has reached its sweet ending!

FFN | Ao3 | Buy Me a Coffee?

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               Sherlock felt groggy in the morning, lazily reaching for Molly, but upon inspection, he realised she was no longer in bed. He could hear what sounded like someone rummaging through a box. He slipped out of bed and into his dressing gown to investigate. As he padded his way through the cottage, he found Molly sitting on the floor, digging through a box of Christmas decorations. From the looks of it, she had been decorating almost all morning. There was garland expertly adorning archways and the fireplace mantle. A tabletop tree was already decorated and set in the middle of the coffee table. Fairy lights were adorning the windows, waiting until evening to light up. He had to admit, she had done a great job.

               “Morning,” he greeted her, his tone conveying his amusement. “I see you’ve been busy.”

               “I woke up around eight and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I thought I’d see what was left of this old thing,” she explained, nudging the box. “There’s still quite a bit to go through yet.” Her stomach growled.

               “Would you like some breakfast?” Sherlock offered.

               “You cook?” she asked in surprise.

               “I’m not completely helpless,” he argued playfully. “It’s not much different than chemistry. It’s just more…edible.”

               “Well, if you’re offering, I’m not gonna turn you down,” she laughed. “I could use the sustenance.” She paused for a moment. “And so could you.”

               Sherlock received the hint. He wasn’t on any cases, so he was fine with eating, but he knew it worried her when he’d go days without doing so. Lately, since Sherrinford, he had been trying to be better about it—about everything, really. He had quit smoking, been regularly attending meetings for rehab, and seeing a therapist. Everyone kept remarking how well off he looked. His face was fuller, and he wasn’t all skin and bones like he was nearly a decade ago. Regardless of all that, Molly still worried about him. He couldn’t blame her after everything he had put her and their friends through.

               He scrambled a few eggs and cooked up some bacon, filling the kitchen with the heavenly scent of food. Molly had covered the dining room table with a lacy snowflake tablecloth and set out the centerpiece upon it made with faux poinsettias and holly. By the time Sherlock divided up the food between their plates, Molly had found artificial mistletoe made of felt. It had small, plastic red berries and a pretty red bow tying it together. She was looking around the cottage to find a place to hang it.

               Oh, dear God, please don’t, he thought. If she properly kissed him, he wouldn’t have the strength to resist, and that was not an option right now.

               “You look like you’re about to have a meltdown.” Molly’s voice cut through his thoughts. She saw where his eyes zeroed in on the offending decoration. “Oh, I see,” she realised. “Don’t worry, it’s just for decoration.”

               “Me? Worried? Never,” Sherlock laughed nervously, attempting to put an end to the subject. “Breakfast is ready.” He set their plates on the table and they ate in companionable silence. For some odd reason, he couldn’t help but take in her presence. Her hair was loose over shoulders, and Sherlock longed to run his fingers through it—preferably whilst snogging her. Hey eyes seemed to have an extra sparkle to them whenever she looked at him, effectively sending his heart into overdrive.

               Molly’s stomach was in knots and it surprised her that she was able to eat. Why did he make it so difficult for her to keep her heart in check without even trying?  Everything about him drove her wild, even when he was being a git. She was lovesick. And after waking up in his arms this morning, Molly couldn’t deny her heart for much longer. She was trying to give him his space, but, she realised, if he really wanted it, he wouldn’t be on holiday with her. He wouldn’t be holding her in his sleep. The truth was Sherlock wanted her. But it was more than that.

               When she got up to set her now-empty plate in the sink, Sherlock followed behind her with his, causing Molly to bump into him when she turned right back around. “Sorry,” she smiled shyly whilst he set his plate down. “Sherlock?”

               “Yes, Molly?” For some reason, he felt nervous. Why were his emotions so haywire?

               “We need to talk about what happened last night,” she told him.

               Sherlock paled. “If this is about the cuddling, we can make a wall of pillows. It was just a natural reaction after—”

               “You told me you loved me last night,” Molly interrupted. “You said it without force or the endangerment of my life.” It was written plainly on her face that this made her spirits lift.

               Sherlock cradled her face in his hand, and she leaned into him, turning her head just enough to press a kiss to his palm. “I’m tired of dancing around each other when I’d rather be dancing with you.” All these years, they had purposefully avoided going any further for their own reasons. He dropped his hand from her face. “But you make me want things I can’t have.”

               Molly took his hand in hers before it went back to his side. “What makes you think you can’t have this? That we can’t have this?”

               “Because once we take that step, you’re going to realise you’ve made a horrible mistake, and that you’ve wasted all these years on someone so disappointing,” Sherlock confessed. “I don’t want to see you lose that sparkle in your eyes when you look at me.”

               Molly internally berated herself for tearing up, but she couldn’t help it. “William Sherlock Scott Holmes, I love you, not some made up fantasy in my head. I have seen you through your worst, and I never—not for one moment did I ever consider leaving your side. I’m still here.” She laughed in disbelief. “Hell, I have actually tried to move on from you, but it’s scientifically impossible. I will always love you, and you’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.”

               Sherlock was left speechless. He loved that he was stuck with her. He loved it so much he bent down to capture her lips with his, wrapping his arms around her with one hand on the small of her back and the other on her waist. Molly’s fingers tangled in his curls, pulling him closer, deepening their kiss. She traced the seam of his lips with the tip of her tongue, and Sherlock gladly welcomed her. He had waited so long to kiss her soft lips, to taste her tongue with his own.

               “Molly,” he spoke her name breathlessly in between kisses. “My Molly.” He could feel her smile against his lips just before he broke away from her to trail soft kisses down her neck. She hummed in pleasure, leaning her head back, his hand now cradling it. Sherlock returned to her waiting lips, both of them stumbling toward the sitting room.

               “Oof!” Molly exclaimed as backed into the arm of the sofa, falling back over it. Sherlock went down with her, keeping himself held up by his hands to refrain from crushing her. “That was fun,” she giggled, her hair fanned out beneath her.

               Sherlock, still hovering above her, couldn’t agree more. He pressed his lips to hers once more, nuzzling his nose against hers. “I love you, Molly Hooper.”

               The way her eyes shined, the way she smiled at him—he had never seen her look at him in such an unabashed way. This is what her love for him looked like when she wasn’t trying to keep it hidden, and he basked in the glow she emitted. It was never love he feared, but the idea that she would reject him. Right now, with her arms around his neck as she smiled up at him, he couldn’t fathom why he ever thought she’d abandon him. Molly loved him so unconditionally, and he was ready to accept that love. He was ready to give her the same love in return—after all, she’s the one who taught him how.

.

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               That evening, they had curled up together at the end of the sofa closest to the fire, snow falling in sheets outside. Molly had put on an old Bing Crosby record that was going on its third song. Sherlock had his arm around her, keeping her close. She took a sip of her wine, lost in her thoughts. Even if he could deduce what was on her mind, he found that he didn’t want to. It was rather more rewarding if she chose to tell him.

               “What are you thinking about?” he asked, unable to keep his curiosity at bay.

               Molly held the glass to her chest as she looked up at him. “That this place hasn’t felt like home in a long time…not until you brought me back.” She noted the confusion on his face. “What I mean is that I always thought home was a place, and when I lost that, I felt I lost myself. But you, Sherlock…you remind me of home. You are my home.”

               “And you’re mine,” he admitted. Sherlock pulled out the faux mistletoe that he had been hiding behind the arm of the sofa, having been holding it in his hand. He dangled it above their heads, making Molly laugh. “I think you owe me a kiss, Miss Hooper.”

               “You’re incorrigible,” she teased, setting down her wine glass and pressing her lips to his. It was Sherlock’s turn to bury his fingers in her hair, savoring how she felt, how she tasted, the wine on her tongue bittersweet. Somehow, she had found her way onto his lap without breaking the kiss, giving them both an easier reach.

               Molly would be the death of him, but God, he would die a happy man. She called him incorrigible, but neither one of them could easily stop themselves once they got going. At this rate, he’d be carrying her off to bed, divesting each other of their clothes. Or perhaps that last part happens first, he thought as he felt Molly’s fingers against his chest as she unbuttoned his shirt. He took her by surprise, sweeping her up in his arms.

               “What are you doing?” she asked in amusement, knowing full well where they were headed.

               “I’m taking you to bed,” he replied cheekily. And I’m going to make love to you for as long as we can go, he added silently. Uh oh, not so silently. He stopped right at the door. “I…said that out loud, didn’t I?”

               Molly nodded, biting her lip in anticipation.

               “Is that alright with you?” he asked, suddenly self-conscious.

               “That’s more than alright with me,” she smiled, reaching down to open the door. Sherlock kissed her as he carried her over the threshold. Molly Hooper would indeed be the death of him—no doubt about it now—but she would also bring him back to life, for death could never keep them apart since it was what brought them together to begin with.

#sherlolly #you remind me of home #12 days of sherlolly #sherlock x molly #my fanfiction

[edwxrdkenway]

Anime Recommendations part 2

guess who’s back for more anime recommendations. some asked for more so here I am. part 1 can be found here btw if you’re new

Note that I only listed underrated or forgotten animes that I watched and enjoyed every minute of it and you may be too

91 Days

Lets start with some heavy stuff y'all

91 Days is set during the Prohibition era and tells the story of the protagonist Angelo.

As a child Angelo has witnessed the death of his family who all have been slaughtered by a mafia family. Losing everything he holds dear, he leaves both his name and hometown behind, adopting the new identity of Avilio Bruno. Years later he finally has his chance for revenge when he receives a mysterious letter prompting him to return to his home town and to kill all who are at fault for the tragedy of his family.

(idk I thought that this one is famous but turned out that only a few watched it?? that one is so good idk ??)

Zankyou no Terror/Terror in Resonance

(Idk why people thing this is underrated?? That one watched almost everyone when it aired??)

This one is also a heavy anime so be prepared. (I’m not joking be prepared)

Tokyo has been hit by a terrorist attack that has devastated the city and The only evidence of the culprits is a cryptic video uploaded to the Internet. Unbeknownst to the authorities is that the terrorist masterminds are two teenaged boys: Nine and Twelve who should not even exist. Their plan: to "wake up the world" with their heinous plans of destruction, with their fingers on the trigger.

btw im not pluffing their names are nine, twelve and one is even called five

Death Parade

Imagine that after death, there is no heaven or hell, only a bar. 

Yeah you read right a bar. A bar that stands between reincarnation and oblivion. There, Decim will challenge the deceased to a random game in which his/her/they fate of either ascending into reincarnation or falling into the void will be wagered. Whether it's bowling, darts, air hockey you name it, each person's true nature will be revealed in a ghastly parade of death and memories, dancing to the whims of the bar's master. Welcome to Quindecim my friend.

(BTW do not be fooled by the opening if you decided to watch this, I warned you)

Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun/My Little Monster

Ok here some light stuff ^^ Tnkk is a shoujo and one of my fav shoujo tbh.

Shizuku Mizutani, (who kinda looks like Maka from Soul Eater somehow) is only caring about her grades but her cold view of life begins to change when she meets Haru Yoshida, a troublemaker. Sounds like those typical story lines but behold. He’s not much different from her. He also understands little about human nature and does not have any friends. Much to her surprise, he proclaims that she will be his friend and immediately confesses his feelings towards her upon meeting her. 

This one is very funny and not that cliché shoujo you would expect and I binge watched it in a day and would recommend 11/10 bc Haru is a precious cinnamon roll who should be protected at all costs

I mean just look at him-

Psycho Pass

Another heavy one (I think I have another type lol). 

This anime is set in the 22nd century where the Sibyl System, a very powerful network of psychometric scanners, actively measures the minds and mentalities of civilised populations. With other words if you are a bad person you do not go to jail, nah you will be eliminated.

Into this world steps our main heroine Akane Tsunemori. However, as she works alongside bae I mean Shinya Kougami, she soon learns that the Sibyl System's judgments are not as perfect as her fellow Inspectors assume. 

This got 2 seasons and a movie and let me tell you you better watch this because this one will get you hooked !!

Tokyo Ravens

Romance? Check. Magic? Check. Mystery? Check.  Very underrated? Double Check.

Onmyodou magic was once a powerful technique which was used by the Japanese during World War II. Later, infamous onmyoji Yakou Tsuchimikado performed a ritual, which goes horribly wrong and the result of this becomes what is now known as the "Great Spiritual Disaster", an incident which haunts the entire Japanese continent to date. 

Our boy Harutora, who is a member of the Tsuchimikado's branch family once promise Natsume, the heir of the Tsuchimikado's main family and Yakou’s reincarnation, to protect her as her familiar. However, turned out Harutora has no talent for magic and chooses to live a normal life instead. But when a prominent member of the Onmyou Agency attempts to recreate the same experiment which led to Japan's downfall, he decides to make good on his word and fight by Natsume's side.

Your lie in April/Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso

Here I introduce you to a masterpiece that will ruin you. Like literally ruin you. I'm not even exaggerating, I told my best friend to watch this and she did not talk to me for 2 days.

Our boy Kousei Arima was strictly taught how to play the piano and meticulously follow the score by his mother, to the point where he dominated every competition he entered with ease and he became one of the best piano players. However, after his mother suddenly dies everything went downhill and had to quit the music industry. 

Two years later, Kousei lives a monotonous life with his childhood friends supporting him. But he still  continues to cling to music, although performing is still an impossibility for him. This is until his unexpected encounter with our girl Kaori Miyazono, a violinist who performs freely without the dictations of a score. A story of friendship, love, music, and a single lie, Kousei's life begins to change and gain color as Kaori helps him to take up music again.

(note: if you decide to watch this pls do not hate me)

Boku dake ga Inai Machi/Erased

Another dark one nice. Our protagonist Satoru Fujinuma has a special gift. He finds himself sent back several minutes before an accident occurs. He has taken advantage of this mysterious phenomenon to save many lives. 

However, when he is wrongfully accused of murdering someone close to him, he is sent back to the past once again but 18 years in the past. Soon, he realizes that the murder may be connected to the abduction and killing of one of his classmates Kayo Hinazuki, that took place when he was a child and he tries to prevent the death of his classmate while protecting those he cares about in the present.

Idk why I decided to watch this but let me tell ya my poor heart was not ready while watching this. I recommend this 11/10.

Kyoukai no Kanata/Beyond the Boundary

ok so pls drop everything what your doing and go watch this if you didn’t. pls do yourself a favor.

KNK is about Mirai who is the sole survivor of a clan of Spirit World warriors with the power to employ their blood as weapons. Yeah you read right blood is their weapon. As such, Mirai is tasked with hunting down and killing creatures called youmu, who are basically manifestations of negative human emotions. One day,  Mirai comes across Akihito Kanbara, a rare half-breed of youmu in human form. In a panicked state, she plunges her blood saber into him only to realize that he's an immortal being. From then on, the two form an impromptu friendship that revolves around Mirai constantly trying to kill Akihito, in an effort to boost her own wavering confidence as a Spirit World warrior. 

I’m not biased I swear but this anime is so aesthetically pleasing im livin-

Ok so thats it. Like last time I did not include popular anime series that like 99% of us watch/ed like boku no hero academia/my hero academia, tokyo ghoul, gintama, satsuriko no tenshi/angels of death, cells at work, black clover etc.

#anime recommendation #anime reccomendations #tonari no kaibutsu kun #my little monster #kyoukai no kanata #beyond the boundary #knk #your lie in april #shigatsu wa kimi no uso #boku dake ga inai machi #erased #psycho pass #tokyo ravens #death parade #zankyou no terror #terror in resonance #anime #91 days #tokyo ghoul #bnha

[sadmind-fullheart]

2018 Goals: A Motivation Tag

This seems super cute, and I’d never pass the opportunity to motivate myself and others. On top of that, I was tagged by the very welcoming @rosiebeestudies who’s post always make me want to change my life.

My Goals:

Be Active: This is a broad statement, but making it so broad allows me to include my goal to run a consecutive 5 miles at the least and my dream senior trip which is to go hiking. I figure being able to improve my running will allow me to reward myself with a hike somewhere cool. Plus being active has improved my mental health a ton, so I don’t want to quit now.

Write Every day: I might just be holding on to an old pastime, but I used to love writing. I hope that by writing every day I will form a habit of it, and then I can look back at all the things I’ve felt and though in 2018.

Create Healthy Eating Habits: As we speak, I have horrible coping mechanisms. In other words, if I’m stressed, sad, or mad I eat. I need to break that habit of restricting and then binging. Hopefully, by eating better I might even lose a bit of weight. But I have to start by changing my relationship with food.

Be an Adult: By the fall, I’ll be in college, so I can’t hide from life anymore. My entire life prior, I never thought I would make it to 18. Now that I am 18, and I’m not going anywhere anytime soon I need to make my life what I want it to be. That includes learning to cook, getting a job, socializing with people, standing up for myself, and other adult-like things. I’m going to be independent, and I have to learn to make life my own.

Put Me First: For a long time, I’ve always been worried about other people’s opinions. Then recently I started questioning if friends were worth my mental health. News flash, they weren’t. I want to make myself a priority, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop encouraging others.I still thrive off of making other people feel good, and there are genuine people in my life that don’t make me feel bad. So putting me first includes putting me and my priorities first. That includes working on my organization, patience, friendships, and anything else that comes along and needs my attention.

As always I hope y’all’s 2018 is going to be good. I’ll tag @delicxtehearts, @letstudyhardmed , @studysauce , @mystudylifeee, @problematicprocrastinator , and @heidimach

Once again, thank you @rosiebeestudies . You deserve an awesome year!

@creative-anchor and @learninghowtopasta y'all should do it too!! 😊

#2018 goals #studyblr #resolutions #be great guys

[phoenixpinks]

TEAM LAZARUS 1001 NAMES

40 pages you crazies, it’s been a fun year as record keeper. 

Let’s try and reach 2,000 for next year!

Note: There are some spots where the emojis just didn’t register for me in the chat title. 

1) Team Lazarus

2) Team Adorable

3) Team Laz-R-Us

4) a FUCKING glass

5) SHEER MASTERMINDS

6) THE ANSWER IS NUN (STRIKE 2? WE’RE HAVING NUN OF THAT!)

7) FUCK CHUCK

8) Dream Team Lazy-R-Us

9) Dream Team Meme Team Laz👏R👏Us

10) Dream Team Meme Team Laz👏R👏Us Groupies

11) Hello welcome to Lazarus how can we cry with you

12) WHATS NEW LAZAROO (WOOOAH WOAH WOAH WWWWWOOAH)

13) Team Lazarus Team Mom

14) Team Lazarus Team Mom Team Rosebush

15) Team Lazarus - Thorn Edition

16) Team Lazarus - Thorn Mom Edition

17) “Take that funky butt and shake it all around…” - Edward Nygma

18) Jonathan Crane brutally murders a bitch

19) Jonathan Crane is our Murder Senpai

20) The Monarch returns to haunt us

21) un Patrol team Lazarus

22) Two Pun or not Two pun, that is the question

23) Hi my name is jim ichabod fear stork rance and i have short stork borwn hair

24) FUCK MONARCH

25) FUCK MONARCH (He’s fine…yup)

26) Jonathan Crane is totally fine there is aboslutly nothing wrong

27) Great Googly Moogly Everything’s Gone to Shit

28) @SkypeOfficial please remove this group there’s been a terrible mispunderstanding

29) endgame: jonathan slapping edward’s ass

30) Team Lazarus, Weakpoint: Hydration

31) Team Lazarus Momobile Beep Beep

32) Team Firewood

33) 847-bOI

34) The Doctor is In!

35) Mom Squad Roll Out

36) The Nyma Sass

37) The Nygma Sass

38) Sass Machine

39) CRANE LIVES HROO HRAA

40) CRANE LIVES CALLOOH CALLAY

41) Mission: Save Riddler’s sassy ass

42) Dr. Crane, master of Hardcore self medical treament

43) Dr. Crane, master of Hardcore self medical treatment

44) Dr. Crane, Master of Hardcore Self Medical Treatment ™

45) *football team chant* G👏C👏P👏D

46) Beep Beep here comes spooky

47) doot doot here comes spooky

48) Beep Beep here comes spooky

49) NOOT NOOT HERE COMES SPOOPY

50) Beepy Boopy here comes the spoop lord

51) here comes a sexy spooky

52) Our Lord and Saviour Jonathan Crane, hallowed be thine burlap,

53) Cult of Burlap and Riddles

54) DJ JC as the lead show with Rapper E.Nygma as backup

55) 55

56) Codot don’t do it oH MY GOD

57) Brb pizza

58) I wanted a turn to change the title sorry guys

59) SO IT IS TO BE WAR BETWEEN US

60) You don’t control me

61) You never leave. Not really.

62) Save the pupper

63) Save the Riddler

64) Be there in a sec sanna

65) Ya’ll are horrible

66) STOP THIS MADNESS

67) NEVER

68) Please don’t go

69) boys with fractured femurs who break into asylums for you 😍😍😭😭💋💋💦💦👏👏👏👌👌👌👀👀👀👅👅👅

70) Great googly moogly it’s all gone to shit… AGAIN

71) Trust a GCPD officer who makes bad puns in high stress times

72) Blessed by Scarepai

73) Welcome back

74) DID SOMEONE SAY MONARCH

75) I imagine when Jonathan saves Edward and the rogues see him again Jonathan’ll grab Edward, pull him in front of him, look dead ahead, and then someone’ll put on the opening theme of lion king while a lone spotlight shines down on edward

76) wE’rE aLl MaD HeRe

77) scarecrow the science bro (CRANE CRANE CRANE CRANE)

78) #PrayForCodotChords2k16

79) Rip GCPD 2k16 never forget 🙏🙏🙏

80) Crane deserves better than this

81) Pish Posh you’ve turned the Hatter into a Hater!

82) The Mad Hater Needs His Fucking Alice

83) The Mad Hater Needs A Fucking Life

84) Y'all need a fucking life more

85) Stop being mean to Jervis

86) being mean to jervis gives me life

87) Y u hatin on Jervis

88) leave my mad bby alone

89) Jervis did nothing wrong

90) Jervis did EVERYTHING WRONG WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT

91) JERVIS DID NOTHING WRONG

92) RIDDLE 9 BOI

93) Half-Past Alfred

94) SPOOKY SCARY sceletus

95) Y'all need help

96) RIP Codot

97) Too Smart for the Plans to Find the Smartest 98) BREAK A LEG JON

99) BREAK BOLTON’S LEG JON

100) FUZZ IS A TEACHER’S PET (AND PROUD)

101) We befriended murder sempai

102) We befriended murder sempai

103) Make a bff bracelet with murder senpai

104) “Shake the Box to See if it Complains

105) "What a SPOOKtacular occasion” - Jonathan Crane at some point

106) Ra’s League of Legends

107) Riddler’s Label Pen

108) Can THEY get Edward’s cup of hot cocoa right???

109) Have fun storming the castle

110) GET 👏 OUR 👏 BBYS 👏 THERAPY 👏 PETS 👏

111) clayface!hannah confirmed 2k16

112) SQUAD WITH TAX BENEFITS

113) More annoying and pretentious than Edward

114) MOON MOON

115) Oh. My. God.

116) DAMMIT HANNAH

117) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

118) Hannah Killed Crane!!

119) “tgis chat changes names faster than the captor changes his rules”

120) Moon Moon, Prince of Prose

121) Books-R-Us 2k16

122) angst, puns and ocs

123) Codot as Theo Saurus 2k16"

124) Ready for pain

125) #kingtheo2k16

126) A-TEAM BADA BING BADA BOOM

127) *faux french accent* A-TEAM BADA BING BADA BOOM

128) YOU GET A CAT, YOU GET A CAT, EVERYBODY GETS A CAT!!!

129) Story Planners Inc.

130) M O N A R C H

131) E D W A R D ’ S  A S S

132) What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire codot army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp.  If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake.  I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

133) Hello Arkham, I have 23 more patients to be admitted

134) Team Lazarus

135) Good 👏 Luck 👏 Brown 👏

136) Morals What Morals

137) Crane confirmed Pyro main in TF2

138) INTO THE KILN

139)  SAVE JONATHAN CRANE 2K16

140) Thomas more like ThomASS

141) INTO THE KILN

142) doting ignorami

143) LET JON USE HIS SCYTHE 2K16

144) Spoopy Scary Skeletor 💀

145) HROO HRAA 🎃👻💀

146) TEAM CRANE 2K16

147) TEAM MEME 2K16

148) FREE EDWARD NYGMA 2K16

149) FREE EDWARD NYGMA’S UNGRATEFUL ASS 2K16

150) Meaningful

151) Murder Sempai and the Ungrateful Kid in Time-Out

152)  What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire rids army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp.  If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake.  I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

153) Thank you, Codot

154) AFTER PARTY

155) AFTER PARTY (Thank you, Codot)

156) Hush: I finally have it, the brightest of minds…. *taps into followers minds* // Followers: nEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWNNNN // Hush: what the f-

157) 4311791161/174743432/17237911/974773/7353

158) Happy Birthday, Bill!

159) #GiveCrocaDuckling2k16

160) Password: M O N A R C H

161) #GiveJonathanCraneHisRingBack2k17

162) #GiveAllTheRougesBetterChildhoods2kforver

163) SaveZsasz2k16

164) #ChangeTheEducationSystem2k16

165) #IbelieveinZsazs

166) Clayface is at it again

167) Team Blanket Fort

168) Sionis’s Poor Mini Golf Score

169) Recollective Music Box

170) TEAM BERET

171) #TeamMimikyu

172) FUCK U TEAM BOARDGAME HAT

173) wow

174) screw you guys i’m going home

175) MASQUERADE PAPER FACES ON PARADE

176) a disaster beyond imagination

177) BRING DOWN THE CHANDELIER

178) paaaast the point of no return

179) Riddler’s butt club

180) IM NOT CLAYFACE OMF

181) Riddler’s peanut gallery

182) And how does that make you feel?

183) Codot save us from the math

184) Codot, Challenger Of Trig 2k16

185) THE MIDDLE FINGET

186) Monarch

187) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley

188) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley (Illustrated by Harley)

189) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley (Illustrated by Harley) And brought to life by Edward Nygma (narrator) and Jonathan Crane (fly trap)

190) Team Lazarus: Study Group

191) Riddle me this

192) It’s Sad O’ Clock

193) FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

194) Team Lazarus is breaking down Arkham’s door!

195) Monarch

196) New Title

197) Bookworm did nothing wrong and is precious

198) Asshole McAsshole Nashton: Edward’s father

199) Ashton Nashton Strikes Again

200) Team Lazarus: So extra

201) Protect Query from gross men

202) ANARCHY

203) “I am vengeance. I am the night. I AM MONARCH OF MENACE!

204) COME ON AND SLAM! AND WELCOME TO THE JAM!

205) Hannah’s at it again

206) Roman mcasshole Sionis

207) LetAlfredoBeHappy2k16

208) Pasta Shame

209) Team Lazarus’s Civil War: Don’t Cry Over Spilled Spaghetti

210) MASS SEND HROO HRAA

211) Hroo Hraa Secured

212) Operation: Make Edward Trust Us

213) #MakeEddieTrustUs2k17

214) Team Tiny Hroos

215) Detective Wayne- it’s me, Edward!

216) Indy’s Cane Thighs 👀

217) Nightmares and hell spawn

218) Leo got that dank fear toxin 👀👀👀

219) Den of Snakes

220) Den of Snakes

221) Den of Sneks (and one fox)

222) Dat Snort Tho

223) Haroo haraa

224) Snek snek snek snek snek

225) Get that stanky broken bond stuff away from me

226) Brown my lord and savior

227) Meet Zsaszarus Pit in the Lazarus Pit where its Lazarus Lit

228) MEET ME IN THE COURT, THOMAS

229) Sinister Memes

239) Hannah is Clayface. Must elminate Hannah.

240) I AM NOT CLAYFACE

241) ProtectStrawChild2k16

242) Don’t talk to me or my children about that 3D Batman cartoon EVER AGAIN

243) Alfredo Pennyworth 2k16

244) IT’S RAINING FURRIES

245) Mom Squad

246) Crane Spank

247) Crane Spank - Rated G for everyone

248) I will not embrace that man - Jonathan Crane

249) Swiggity swooty comin’ for that booty

250) Jervis is a smol bun bun

251) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE

252) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE (She lies)

253) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE (She lies) SO, NEGATIVE CLAYFACE?

254) CodotisaGift2k16

245) [7:15:18 AM]  Make like a Crane and burn him down

246) #Rogues!LittleShopOfHorrors

247) Dig Dug Dimmadome

248) Jello Crane

249) Support Sanna 2k16

250) Jon Crane the Science Train

251) The Scarecrow and his Tiny Hroos

252) The Scarecrow and his Tiny Hroos

253) Crane save us from the angry cheeto man

254) Alpacutie255) #KingCodot

256) Francesco the tap dancing cocktail shrimp

257) LetVictorAndNoraBeHappy2k16

258) Indy the cutest (snek)

259) 🎉Happy Birthday, Indy the cutest (snek) 🎉

260) Support Bookworm 2k16

261) Codot Is Our King, He Should V/O Everything

262) Jon, Jon, Jon, TITS, cats

263) #KingSkeletor

264) Give your bae the FLIPPER

265) Ahem... TITTYSPRINKLES AWAAAAAAAAAAY!

266) Zsasz vs Codot meme battle

267) Jonathan Crane's Rent is Too Damn High

268) "IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME YOU DIE FOR REAL

269) FUCKING DOUSE ME IN FEAR TOXIN IDGAF I AM WILLING I AM READY

270) Aesthetic: Edward paired with Que Sera Sera

271) Aesthetic: Edward Nygma Kinkshaming Jonathan Crane

272) Jonathan Crane Loves The Sideboob

273) Lego Batman Voice: I'M BATMAN

274) Zsasz will fight your bullies for free

275) Drumpf The Sith Lord

276) Please no political stuff thank you

277) Oh my god Codot (TM)

278) "Oh my Godot

279) RIP Leo the Viper, October 2016-November 2016 🙏🙏🙏

280) RIP Leo the PENGUIN, October 2016-November 2016 🙏🙏🙏

281) #IBelieveInBookworm

282) #ICan'tBelieveZsazsisBookworm

283) _removed conversation name_

284) BLANK

285) SIX MILLION TONS OF WHITE BULLSHIT ON MY DRIVEWAY

286) Everyone Boop Zsasz's nose

287) Psyche

288) Hannah's teachers are crazy

289) CODOT: QUEEN OF FRANCE

290) Spats on Cats

291) The Great Gaysby

292) Alfredo is the parent they deserve #SaveThem

293) Scarecrows Long Leggies

294) Give Edward His Glasses Back 2K16

295) Never Forget

296) Zsasz your local gentle farmerer just wants to tend to her goats

297) Zsasz your local gentle farmemer just wants to tend to her goats

298) Jonathan Crane: The Point Hoarder

299) Spats Over Spandex, Fashions By Leo

300) "Riddle meme this, Batman!"

301) Spoopy Jono

302) Save me from the bad sci-fi

303) Scarebeast vs. Riddlebot

304) _removed conversation name_

305) 1 v 1 me mate

306) Fight Club: Team Lazarus Edition

307) Law and Order: Team Lazarus edition

308) FUZZ WILL RISE AGAIN

309) It's your local Scarebro and his spooky sales

310) All hail Brown, Keeper of the Lazarus Records

311) All hail Sanna, keeper of the AUs

312) Wayne!Rouges headcanon HQ

313) Do not let the dank city fall

314) DO IIIIIT

315) Crane: They're so goddamn stupid

316) Team Lazarus Is Torn Apart By Overwatch

317) Team Lazarus: a bunch of gleeful homewreckers.

318) Pyro marries Team Lazarus

319) Short people vs tall people: The Codot Wars

320) Question Mark Codpiece. Yep.

321) Yes Glitter

322) NO GLITTER

323) Things heating up in the glitter fandom

324) Pray for Zsasz

325) We are all Tesla

326) *FIGHT HANNAH'S TEACHER*

327) *FIGHT HANNAH'S TEACHER AND CLASSMATES*

328) Law and Order: Team Lazarus Edition episode 2

329) The Fashion Police: Team Lazarus Edition

330) "Emerald colored - he's so pretentious. It's GREEN." - Jonathan about Edward @ some point

331) Jon's crows and various corvids

332) Wanna know how I got these scars?

333) probably got them scars from a drunk dare dude

334) AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A CODOT PARTY 'CAUSE A CODOT PARTY DON'T STOP

335) codot pls voice morgan freeman in gotham. not as lucius, just morgan freeman.

336) leo vs edward nygma

337) Hello Naughty Children It's Sad Time)

338) Hi Diddle Diddle It's Dr Riddle

339) Codot was here, but he was sent to bed. YOLO.

340) Smol Rids in Space *NYOOM*

341) RAH RAH RAH MASTER OF FEAR)

342) HRAA HRAA HRAA MASTER OF FEAR

343) Au central

344) Don't mention Edward's 500+ issues to him or he'll have a meltdown and likely recluse to a shell of his former self

345) Sanna go to bed

346) Sanna went to bed

347) Sanna went to bed (at last)

348) N E V E R  F O R G E T

349) Waiting For Alfredo to snatch us

350) No One Expects the Boop-quisition

351) PIANO IS MY PARAMOUR

352) Cause he's a primadonna girl, yeah /all he ever wanted was batmans id

353) Happy Birthday Spoopy

354) Doctor Crane and His Horde of Interns

355) Doctor Crane and His Horde of Interns (Also Molly is my #queen support her 2k16)

356) Do Not Send Crane Bee Movie Quotes

357) According to all known laws of aviation...

358) Alex no. You're grounded.

359) there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

360) Go home, Alex.

361) Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

362) COME ON AND SLAM

363) IF I GO OUT IT'S GOING TO BE BY FEAR TOXIN NOT SOME ORANGE CHEETO MAN

364) okay but have you seen trump's caterpillar

365) Killer croc is awesome

366) PROFESSOR CRANE MY KING (emojis removed)

367) LET RALPH HAVE HIS PEN 2k16

368) Let scarecrow have his classic origin in rebirth 2016

369) Let Jon have a scythe again 2k16

370) Hannah is still Clayface, BEWARE

371) Ban Lindsey 5ever

372) #LetIvySing2k16

373) Harvey Dent: Matchmaker Extraordinaire. :D

374) Our Lord and Saviour Jonathan Crane can handle trashy students. Unfortunately, Thomas Elliot is a SUPER trashy student

375)  Ferret Lord Jonathan Crane 2k16

376) Jon is no longer ferret lord worthy

377) Make Crane love ferrets 2k16

378) Slenderman Only Fears Jonathan Crane

379) Me, banging my cooking pots outside of DC headquarters: LET FEMALE VILLAINS BE VILLAINOUS

380) CONFIRMED

381) Promote the garbage man to garbage boss

382) Everything Changed When the Boop Nation Attacked

383) Blessed by the spoopy presence of detective

384) ProtectIkky2k16

385) rip doctor spooky

386) DON'T HATE ON OTHERS BECAUSE YOU MADE A POOR GUESS

387) RIP HANNAH

388) Trigonometry more like trigoNOmetry

389) Mother Nature can take her frozen tears and throw them into the sun

390) A Rainbow of Bullshit

391) Ames deserves better 2k16

392) Bolton confirmed republican

393) Dollar Store Bane

394) Indy still needs to fight me in the pit

395) Ames V Indy: FIGHT ACROSS CANADA

396) Here I go, here I go, here I go again! Gotham, What's my weakness? Riddles!

397) fuck you

398) The power of puns compels you!

399) i've ascended good and evil fuck you all

400) Lego my fuckin eggo

401) Leo's corner

402) CONFIRMED

403) NOT CONFIRMED

404) C ON F I R M E D

405) DOUBLE C ON F I R M E D

406) DOUBLE C O N F I R M E D

407) FIGHTFIGHT

408) The coin says you're a punk-ass bitch -Harvey Dent, 2016

409) Becky deserves better 2k16

410) Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow

411) Who wants to date this Riddle Cutie?

412) DO YOUR HOMEWORK, TEAM LAZARUS

413) Eddie, you're one clever S.O.B.

414) Codot is the Spanish Inquisition

415) Home work more like n o.

416) FEARBREEZE

417) Gotta go spray the room with my fearbreeze

418) Why is Codot ass deep in medical notes?

419) codoot did the noot noot

420) Leo & Codot Sitting in a Tree…

421) Team Lazarus > Codot

422) eam Lazarus = Codot

423) ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD

424) Leo is pretty cool

425) Hickory Dickory Doc

426) You can't just marry everyone Pyro

427) Jervis is a weeb, Edward is a weeb, hell, we're all weebs

428) “Retreat, retreat! It’s all a part of my cunning plan, really!”

429) #LetEdwardPlayPiano2k16

430) Im gonna name my mimikkyu "Eddie" because they both just want to be loved

431) Professional Chicken Holder

432) _removed conversation name_

433) http://lankybrunettepartdeux.tumblr.com/private/153587955220/tumblr_oh4qhizCiE1u7xkfs

434) (turkey) (turkey) (turkey)

435) #codootdoot

436) Jon didn't do anything wrong

437) Jon did a lot fo things wrong but not all of them

438) Riddler does not get drunk, children. The Riddler just has fun.

439) STUCK IN THE FEAR JEANS FOREVER

440) Fear Jeans

441) STUCK IN THE FEAR JEANS FOREVERZ

442) rankled

443) rankled fear jeans

444) WRITING IDEAS FUCK YEAH

445) They are all here...in the Twilight Zone *doo doo doo doo doo doo doo*

446) RIDDLER'S LABEL PEN RETURNS

447) Clayface is my hero

448) King COdot

449)  King Codot

450)King Codootdoot

451) KINGshame Codoot

452) Tea Time w Hannah

453) Cake Wars

454) This chat title will now change every one minute

455) Hello mtv welcome to my crib *points at sinkhole in ground*

456) HUMPSUIT

457) END OF DAYS: A Telltale Games Series

458) "THANKS DAD" IM SCREAMINF

459) Jonathan Cr-EH-ne

460) TWO F-EH-CE

461) Memeobile, Codotcycle, and 2013 toyota corolla

462) FEED ME

463) what the frick frack paddywhack is this fucking cat

464) YOU'RE UNDER ARREST CUTIE

465) HANNAH'S SISTER CONFIRMS, HANNAH IS CLAYFACE

467) HANNAH IS THE ALPHA TWIN

468) HANNAH IS THE ALPHA TWIN

469) Hannah is Clayface, sister confirms

470) THE DAD MOM

471) s top with monarch i am tIRED

472) ikky licky his dicky

473) ikky licky his sTICKY NOTES JOKES

474) “jack call me jackie nashton”

475) KATIE WON THE HUNGER GAMES

476) SO PROUD OF LEO WINNING THE HUNGER GAMES

477) WAYLON DESERVES TO WIN THE HUNGRY GAMES

478) WAYLON WON THE HUNGER GAMES IN MY HEART

479) The coin says you're a punk ass bitch

480) KILLER COCK

481) hi diddle, cockzilla fucked my riddle

482) hi diddle diddle, cockzilla fucked my riddle

483) Ames and Indy official OTP

484) Codot dies from thirst

485) Indy dies from Programmer Dad Thirst

486) Gotham Thugs: The Musical!

487) This is discrimination against farmers and i have several pages of objections ranging from hatred on hay to blasphemy against my beans

488) Zsasz vs Zsasz Dad

489) Go to bed Sanna

490) Zsasz Vs the 21 other people in this chat pt 2

491) "We talked, we drowned people, we told our life stories!!!" -Emma 2016

492) Batman is judging you

493) Team Lazarus: Fire and friendship

494) CROC WITH PUPPIES

495) #Let DCCharactersHaveNiceThings2KForever

496) Almost 500 tittles

497) C'mon guys, we can make it! :D

498) My hotline isn't bling rn -Zsasz

499) Team Lazarus, blasting off again!

500) FIVE HUNDRED 500NER THAN EXPECTED

501) HAMBURGER MAN CONFIRMED TWO FACE

502) Codot is the oldest twin #Confirmed

503) Crane (singing and prepping a fear toxin injection): Granny got run over by a reindeer…

504) Crane (singing and prepping fear toxin): Granny got run over by a reindeer...

505) Batdad would like to have a word in the Batcave

506) endgame: edward kinkshaming jonathan for slapping his ass

507) CODOR

508) CODOR (Translation: "YOU SHOULD ALL BE LOCKED UP IN A CAGE WITHOUT A KEY!")

509) 2016: so bad the waynes might as well be murdered again

510) MITHRA MEOW

511) Knock Ivy and Jervis out with Dr. Spoop

512) HAPPY HOLIDAYS Y'ALL

513) AMES QUEEN OF KICKASS OCS

514) Hi my name is ethan darkness dementia raven cobblepot and i have peroxide blonde hair and blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me i look like dick grayson

515) RIP Jonathan Crane was fucking destroyed by Becky Albright

516) Tempting Fate

517) Pray 4 Leo

518) Pray That Leo’s Tablet Clears Customs

519) THE JELLO CUP STRIKES BACK

520) KING CODOT STRIKES AGAIN

521) Codot is a peach

522) time to shove a scythe up hIS ASS

523) Codot is a strange mutant adult child #Confirmed

524) LetRiddlerCry#2k16

525) The Riddler People Vs Codot

526) Codot's Cross-Ocean Speedo

527) We are assholes team lazarus

528) We are (assholes) team lazarus

529) Sarah's explosive flatulence

530) Codot the mediocre skype god

531) Codot the magnificent skype god

532) Riddler's Depressed Combat Bots

533) LetJonathanSayWhoopAss2k17

534) Give us the Red Hood/Rogues Kill Bill Joker hunt

535) Pray circle for Indy

536) SEXY LEXI LUTHOR

537) GOTHAM PRINCESS BRIDE GOTHAM PRINCESS BRIDE

538) Deathstroke the Strokedeath

539) Team Lazarus is breaking down, that's it. Nothing new here.

540) CODOT IS THE NUMBER ONE FOLKS

541) you got 2 leggies get walkin

542) WHERE'S MY MONEY YOU DIRTY BAGUETTE

543) LEO'S GOT A TABLET AGAIN

544) Leo and Ames: Defenders of the Gecko

545) Spoopy Birb

546) GIVE ME JESTER HARLEY OR GIVE ME DEATH

547) "I'll LEAF you to your thoughts."

548) because uncly Clayface is my friend

549) lizards are magic fuck you steve

550) Team Lazarus calls are magic

551) Happy Holidays ya memer

552) england sucks

553) MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMALS!!

554) well i just listened and my icy heart is now a furnace

555) Sad oclock is always on the horizon

556) Shine bright like dick graysons 90's suit

557) INDY MADE A PUNNY

558) CODOT RUINS CHRISTMAS 2016

559) CODOT RUINS BOXING DAY

560) FUCK 2016 SIDEWAYS WITH A CROWBAR

561) Death Titties

562) Codot's Pointy Death Titties

563) Indy was a Canadian before it was cool

564) ZSAZS PARLE LE FUCKING FRANÇAIS

565) CANADIAN DEATH MATCH

566)  Is the sun a giant space heater

567) the fresh thane of scotland

568) Indy is a meme

569) FAREWELL 2016

570) Better step up your game the bis are your greatest hurdle

571) We are all sned

572) #LetEddiebe5'1 2k17

573) TOLS VS SMOLS 2K17

574) Dear Sylvester: Please don't kill clayface

575) Oops

576) Is that a challenge?

577) Purple Cauliflower is beautiful and should not be hated on 2k17

578) OSCAR ISAAC AS HARVEY DENT 2k17

579) MARK HAMILL MVP

580) KING DRURY MOTHMAN CONFIRMED

581) LEOOOOOOOOOOOOO

582) Ivy and the horrible baguette

583) Zsasz failed

584) #IBelieveInZsasz

585) Lep

586) EXPOSE ZSASZ 2K17

587) Tis I, the frenchiest fry

588) I will keep this title until Leo returns to symbolize how much I miss his absence

589) Riddler can't grow a beard so he just grows everything else instead

590) "Riddler can't grow a beard so he just grows everything else instead" - Indy, 01/13/2017

591) Operation: Leo Punches All The Riddlers

592) Operation: Leo Punches All The Riddlers, starting with Ames

593) YOOOOOU'RE HERE, THE FRENCHIEST FRY IS NEEEEAR,

594) ROGUES MUSICAL

595) "It's Gotham, reasonably wears spandex" -Hayden Ayala

596) SWEET SMELL OF SUCC

597) There's no 'I' in team but there is an 'I' in pizza

598) #IbelieveinHannah

599) Operation: "Fight Shitty Teachers" is underway

600) My brain is an intricate ecosystem which is on fire

601) DREAM TEAM MEME TEAM- RALPH, HAYDEN, AND AMIR

602) SYLVESTER SURPRISE

603) THERE'S A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND DEATH IN HIS EYES

604) CLUB PENGUIN

605) Sucant Dehydrogenase more like SUCCant dehydrogenase

606) George Orwell can fight me

607) Mr Freeze studies CRY-ogenics

608) CODOT'S A DORK

609) MONARCH THEATRE

610) The perfume is a lie

611) We're never going to make it to 1,000 names at this rate

612) WE CAN DAMN WELL TRY

613) An epic quest of name-changing begins

614) WE GOTTA

615) Forgive my memeing sins

616) Chat name that's the entirety of the Bee Movie script

617) Chat name that's- NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP

618) the size of riddler size of riddler's mASSIVE EGO

620) his peen's much smaller than his ego

621) Team flirt with almost all mols and their bosses

622) HROO HRAA SECURED

623) LICKY

624) Reasonably Priced Sarcasm

625) Reasonably Priced Sarcasm (Roll back on that attitude)

636) Whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous

637) Explain your misery in terms of how much you hate chem and fuck yous

638) Crazy Quilt is our new mascot sorry jon

639) Ta-dah! Sard broken

640) Team Lazarus goes to McDonald's

641) (งಠ_ಠ)ง

642) YAINT

643) BLOCKED DELETED UNFOLLOWED

644) Hannan

645) Arkham's newest inmate: The Monarch Theater

646) Codot is a teasing bastard

647) THE MEMEWORM STRIKES

648) STOPHENCHMENBULLYING2K17

649) STOPHENCHMENBULLYING2K17 (ALSO STOPSNAKESNAMEDKATIE2K17)

650) TEAM LAZARUS IN A TRENCHCOAT

651) Zsasz is the meme snake

652) #TEAMLAZARUSFIGHTSTHEEDUCATIONALSYSTEM

653) #memesoutfotzsasz

654) In this house we appreciate Codot

655) AMES IS A CUTE, DISCUSS

656) BROWN IS A CUTE, DISCUSS

657) Team Lazarus is filled with cuties: Discuss

658) Eddie and Ozzie: BrOTP For Life

659) Beware the Ides of March.

660) -pation

661) What is human

662) #IBelieveInLeo

663) BUTTS, GEORGIA

664) YAY EMMA

665) fuckin ninja nibs

666) Schemer is Poison Ivy! Spread the word!!!

667) Spoopy Dorito

668) Professor Spoopy Dorito PhD-MD

669) SNES

670) WAYLON MY BOY

671) Time for Jon to be a Major Asshole™

672) We Are All Clayface

673) I want you and your windows xp level memes out of my h OUSE

674) GIVE ME ALL YOUR SNOW

675) All's fair in love and mario kart

676) Happy Ides of March

677) KLARION THE BITCH BOY

678) Do you wanna kink or the fic -Zsasz

679) Katie Unwittingly Interrupts Serious Time in the Chat With Stupid Link

680) Leo needs to go to the SHAME CUBE

681) Ames is a beautiful Canadian princess and I love her

682) Lemme just jot that down in my "Big List Of Manipulative Dick Moves For Jon To Make"

683) Zsasz, please do not fight the Penguin.  For your own safety.

684) Zsasz, please do not fight the Penguin. For your own safety. -Amie, 2017

685) The Great Soprano-Alto War

686) We Do Not, Leo.

687) i aint capullo

688) leo is capullo

689) Leo's art is dank

690) either cannibal or gay -Leo 2k17

691) My what a guy that Baaaaaaane

692) dark katies blog show me the hidden memes

693) uncovers batman's chest, revealing dem nipples behold

694) Tobias Whale can eat from the bag of infinite dicks.

695) AMES IS A CUTE

696) Codot could be lured to his death by Ames

697) Ames, please just visit the poor man!

698) Ames will visit the poor man when she gets the motivation and chance

699) 👀

700) Ames is the dankest meme

701) Ames is banned from 1v1-ing people

702) Edward Nygma is Nerd: discuss

703) Like 'I just mixed meth with crack and a splash of heroin and drank the thing like it was water in a desert'

704) We are drowning in the bred. Lik the bred.

705) I refuse to get verbally frisky with myself

706) I refuse to get verbally frisky with myself -Codot, 2017

707) I Believe in Jonathan Crane

708) And the SAD RP AWARD goes to ... Slyv

709) And the SAD RP AWARD goes to ... Sylvester stallone

710) OUR LORD AND SAVIOR DORITO CRANE

711) Leo gonna roast clayface so hard clayface'll become pottery

712) 19v1 everyone in this chat v ames

713) Zsasz 👏 Did 👏 No 👏 Wrong

714) #StopZsaszBullying2K17 715) #StopZsaszBullying2K17 (katie is innocent)

716) #StopKatieBullying2K17

717) http://lankybrunettepartdeux.tumblr.com/post/158985611430/when-theres-trouble-who-you-gonna-call-not

718) when there's trouble, who you gonna call? not edward because he's probably there anyway

719) President OSWALD 2020

720) leo and codot sITTIN IN A TREE

721) UKK YSE CREATIVITEA

722) I pray at my altar of sluts

723) ames more like aMESS

724) ProtectAmes2k17

725) Leo's Career Pseudonym: Not Greg Capullo

726) You gotta keep up to date on all the hot Team Lazarus memes

727) #TeamCondimentKing

728) #TeamCrazyQuilt

729) #TeamKiteMan

730) #TeamEgghead

731) #TeamKillerMoth

732) #TeamKingCobra

733) #TeamKillerCroc

734) #TeamKingCodot

735) #TeamLazarus

736) E G G

737) PYRO'S PROFESSOR IS CRANE #CONFIRMED

738) ALL CANADIANS ARE VIPERS

739) ALL CANADIANS (except amy ofc what an angel) ARE VIPERS

740) ALL CANADIANS (specially amy ofc) ARE VIPERS

741) Go the fuck to sleep, Brown! - Samuel L. Jackson

742) Think on your sins Lindsey

743) aH FUCMED IP

744) Leo stop looking @ the skype group and go nap gdi

745) HANZO IS TITTY ARCHER MAN

746) AMES NO

747) "Birds have nipples!"

748) oswald: imma suck the ornithonipnops

749) Katie the cyberbully

750) Katie n the Heelies sounds like a great band name

751) Chungus Humongous

752) Draw me like one of your sexy Jim Gordon's

753) Someone cure Katie's thirst for Jim Gordon

754) Judge Leo is now in court

755) Let Leo use a british accent 2k17

756) AMES' EMBARASSING PAST

757) y'all'd've g'dabbed

758) Rip amy killed by leo 2k17

759) I never stop. I MUST NEVER STOP. -Codot 2k17

760) #IkkyProtectionSquad

761) Leo spreads fake informaion like butter 2k17

762) Scaring Ames 2k17

763) why do you son

764) special memes for special ppl

765) Team Lazarus: Obsessed with the Zsaszarus

766) Zsasz is the new young god confirmed

767) *record scratch* so you're probably wondering how i became a cult idol 768) The Riddler Who Can't Solve Riddles

769) M'AIDER Stranded Frisk

770) BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

771) Ames, please explain WTF Canada is.

772) War of the heights

773) Little oyster

774) Amie has done nothing wrong.

775) #giveamescoffee2k17

776) Wow I can't believe Leo is the fucking pope

777) Wow I can't believe (amy) is the fucking pope

778) Wow can't believe Leo is actually Cthulhu

779) Leo should go to bed instead of eating doritos on a burger :):):)

780) Ames was an scene kid, discuss.

781) Believe in the nipple priest

782) Believe in the Nipple Priests

783) Clayface stop changing this without context or I will rip off your eye

784) Clayface stop changing this without context or I will rip off your eyelids

785) LONG LIVE THE NIPPLE PRIESTS

786) GO BACK TO BE POTTERY, CLAYFACE

787) Que sera sera, binch

788) Ikky is best birb

789) Everybody sue leo

790) I’ll fight you, strawman

791) There is a Strawman waiting in the sky

792) I <3 Amie

793) I LOVE ALPACA

794) I swim with dolphins at my own pace - Alpaca for president 2020

795) ames is a cute, confirmed

796) The things this chat makes me read

797) IM A CTUALLY CALLING THE RCMP

798) Jonathan and Oswald attend furrycon together

799) Jonathan, Oswald, and Selina attend furrycon together

800) hello my name is ebony darkness dementia raven way I have long black f

801) hello my name is ebony darkness dementia raven way I have long black fur and blood red eyes and i n'ya a lot

802) I can't believe Cluemaster is from Ames' town

803) Y'ALL'RE DIRTY SINNERS

804) ZSASZ WE'RE SORRY PLEASE COME BACK

805) Katie hecked up so badly we are gonna see a shitpost of the shitpost

806) KATIE IS PURE AND IS VOID OF LEO'S SIN

807) Leo is my confirmed memer in crime

808) PYGMALION MORE LIKE PYGMALINO

809) ames wants a trudeau body pillow, don't believe her lies

810) cant believe katie encourages leos bad habits smh dead 2 me

811) #GiveCraneAYellowRing2k17

812) Katie 4 president (of my  ❤ if i have one)

813) ames secretly loves the pyg

814) MY QUEEN AMES

815) Are you a chouchou person or a moonmoon person

816) we are Bros or Foes no inbetween

817) Wow I can't believe the dirty baguette is responsible for Jon's Arkham asylum outfit

818) Leo is a snek #confirmed

819) HES A FILTHY FEAR BOY

820)  I prefer my clowns without legs

821) Thou hath me shooketh

822) MIEF

823) A DEN OF MIEFS

824) When u gotta carve that pig bc bae is coming but u feed ur victims to ur pigs???? (Emojies removed bc they fucked with the document)

825) When bae says he didnt poison ur wine 😍😍😍❤❤❤❤👅👅👅👅👅👅✊✊✊✊💦💦💦💦💦

826)Can't believe Katie wants to marry Lucenzo Daddy-tino 😧😧😧

827) Katie just wants to live with Harvey Bullock and his cats, thank u very much

828) LET 👏 DADDY-TINO 👏 LIVE 👏

829) Katie cheated Luncenzo with Bullock and thats why Bullock is dead

830)Can't believe Bullock got decked my Katies THOT 😭😭😭😭

831) Can't believe Katies THOT tried to seduce Jonathan Crane via pork dinner and expensive wine 😭📞🚔🚔🚔🚔

832) i can't believe oswald cobblepot is taller than ames (insert a million emoji's here)

833) i can't believe oswald cobblepot is taller than ames 😭😭😭✊✊✊💦💦💦👅👅👅👀👀👀

834) Famemely of Meifs

835) Memebers of the Mief Famemely

836) EVERYTHING THREATENS TO GO TO SHIT...AGAIN

837) LET EDWARD NYGMA HAVE A THICC BOOTY 2K17

838) RIDDLER HAS NO BUTT

839) ur'e

840) B O I

841) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

842) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're 👏gonna👏 take👏 him 👏up👏. Really? 👏Feeling..

843) CRASHIN MY SKYPE YA GODLESS HEATHEN

844) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

845) NOOOOOOOO

846) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

847) IM PUTTIN MY FOOT DOWN

848) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

849) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

850) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush)  Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.                 NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME                                     MAN1Think it's in there?                                      MAN2All right. Let's get it!                                      MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?                                       MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.  Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.                                      SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.                                       MENNo!                                      SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.                                       MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)  Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.                                       SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)                                          THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.                                       GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!                                                                HEAD GUARDNext!                                      GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)                                       HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!                                       GUARDGet up! Come on!                                      HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces.                                      LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small.                                      DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!                                       OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope)                                      DONKEYOh!                                      HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet.                                      PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)                                       HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.                                       PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!  Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.                                       HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey.                                      HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.                                       OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her.                                      HEAD GUARDWell?                                      OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...                                       HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards!                                                                OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.                                       HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight.                                      OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly.                                       DONKEYHey! I can fly!                                      PETER PANHe can fly!                                      3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly!                                      HEAD GUARDHe can talk!                                      DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)  He hits the ground with a thud.                                      HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him!                                       GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!  Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.                                       HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre!                                      SHREKAye?                                      HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.                                                                SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.                                       DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!                                       SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!                                       DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.                                       SHREKOh, that's great. Really.                                      DONKEYMan, it's good to be free.                                      SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?                                                                DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.  Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly..

851) SCREAMS OUT OF FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

852) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush)  Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.                 NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME                                     MAN1Think it's in there?                                      MAN2All right. Let's get it!                                      MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?                                       MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.  Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.                                      SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.                                       MENNo!                                      SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.                                       MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)  Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.                                       SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)                                          THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.                                       GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!                                                                HEAD GUARDNext!                                      GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)                                       HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!                                       GUARDGet up! Come on!                                      HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces.                                      LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small.                                      DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!                                       OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope)                                      DONKEYOh!                                      HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet.                                      PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)                                       HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.                                       PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!  Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.                                       HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey.                                      HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.                                       OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her.                                      HEAD GUARDWell?                                      OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...                                       HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards!                                                                OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.                                       HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight.                                      OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly.                                       DONKEYHey! I can fly!                                      PETER PANHe can fly!                                      3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly!                                      HEAD GUARDHe can talk!                                      DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)  He hits the ground with a thud.                                      HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him!                                       GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!  Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.                                       HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre!                                      SHREKAye?                                      HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.                                                                SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.                                       DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!                                       SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!                                       DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.                                       SHREKOh, that's great. Really.                                      DONKEYMan, it's good to be free.                                      SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?                                                                DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.  Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly.." ***

853) jESUS CHRIST ON A CROSS

854) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush)  Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.                 NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME                                     MAN1Think it's in there?                                      MAN2All right. Let's get it!                                      MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?                                       MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.  Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.                                      SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.                                       MENNo!                                      SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.                                       MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)  Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.                                       SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)                                          THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.                                       GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!                                                                HEAD GUARDNext!                                      GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)                                       HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!                                       GUARDGet up! Come on!                                      HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces.                                      LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small.                                      DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!                                       OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope)                                      DONKEYOh!                                      HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet.                                      PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)                                       HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.                                       PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!  Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.                                       HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey.                                      HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.                                       OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her.                                      HEAD GUARDWell?                                      OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...                                       HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards!                                                                OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.                                       HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight.                                      OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly.                                       DONKEYHey! I can fly!                                      PETER PANHe can fly!                                      3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly!                                      HEAD GUARDHe can talk!                                      DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)  He hits the ground with a thud.                                      HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him!                                       GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!  Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.                                       HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre!                                      SHREKAye?                                      HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.                                                                SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.                                       DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!                                       SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!                                       DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.                                       SHREKOh, that's great. Really.                                      DONKEYMan, it's good to be free.                                      SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?                                                                DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.  Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly..

855) CHAOS IS THE NATURAL STATE OF THE UNIVERSE

856) hannah is ruining amys meme

857) AMES I RUINING BROWN'S GOOGLE DOC

858) Ames how the fuck did I miss that script mess how dare you not keep it

859) my professor is jonathan crane aND I ASKED HIM TO TEACH PSYCHOLOGY NEXT WEEK I HOPE I DIDN'T MAKE A MISTAKE -pyro sea

860) "It's like a cape, but for my legs!" -Hannah, talking about her skirt

861) "You can't just quote me on everything!" -Lexi, 2017

862) 2472

863) canya pawnya yer anya

864) ames is a babe, confirmed

865) Schemer confirmed Two-Face

866) Disco Crane will haunt your dreams

867) Some Katies just want to watch the world burn

868) Schemer is a pure bean

869) Rip Jervi Colony 2k17

870) Dark Leo show us the forbidden pimp oswald

871) COTTON EYE JONNO

872) sameo leo - Ames, definitely

873) S K I N R I M

874) Team Lazarus; The Support group that came out of nowhere

875) Team Lazarus; Support Group

876) Lame Senior Pranks

877) why are cats meow so small

878) GET RIGGETY RIGGETY REKT, SPOOP LORD

879) Team Lazarus, Home of the Mysterious Cryptidrew

880) Green Man Yells at Drop Bears

881) #freethetiddy

882) YELLOW LANTERN DISCO CRANE

883) HE SQUEAK

884) MOTHERFUCKING DUCKLINGS

885) One Gay Family

886) We Are All Shook

887) Everyones moving to Earth 24 to join the JLC sorry

888) LET ME ADOPT UR CATS BROWN OR @ LEAST TELL EM I LOVE EM

889) SEVEN NATION AMY

890) SPLOOTING

891) WHERE'S OS-WALDO

892) Avacado Bears

893) Avacado Bears or Thunder Whales

894) o canada, our home and native land, true patriot love, w fear gas in our hand

895) "It's tiptoe time bicth"

886) "Feels good feels organic"

887) Ralph The Hero We Need But Don't Deserve

888) Team Lazarus Team Mom

889) Ames, this is an intervention

890) When your alter ego calls you daddy 🤔🤔🤔🤔👅?👅?👀👀👀👀👊👊👊💦💦💦¿¿¿¿

891) KNOCK KNOC FUCKERS EGGHEAD IS HERE

892) PROTECT RIDDLER AT ALL COST

893) Episode 3 of Season 9 - Zsasz Accidentally Joins A Cult

894) sppok

895) FUCK FATHER

896) Team Dank Meh-mehs

897) Frying Pan Padre

898) frying pan pa

899) frying pan pad

900) frying pan padre

901) Running Start

902) Media Murderer

903) Nut of the Tree

904) Time to Kinkshame Canada

905) Team Lazarus Contemplate Dating

906) Eleka Nahmen Nahmen Ah Tum Ah Tum Eleka Nahmen

907) ILLUMINABEE CONFIRMED

908) dream daddy has ruined my life.

909) sure thing Brown

910) EGG BABE

911) Dorkham Asylum

912) Just Gods, being Bros

913) take a goddamn bath, Sylvester

914) no

915) the gang

916) "On April 19th, I made bread."

917) Leeroy Jyingkins

918) bllaahhhh

919) #ProtectFemaleCharactersInDraculaAndItsAdaptations2K17

920) And then we see Lindsey screaming because this is so fucking awesome

921) What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire codot army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp.  If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake.  I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

922) Y'ALL'RE KILLIN' MY POOR PHONE

923) Are we at tittle 1000 yet?

924) Plz watch young pope so i can talk abt it

925) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES*

926) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES AND CLARINET SQUEAKING*

927) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES AND CLARINET SQUEAKING AND SPIT VALVE GURGLING*

928) 'My room smells like fresh linens and Jesus' - My sister, 2k17

929)The question for some fucking Tim Hortons

930) The quest for some fucking Tim Hortons

931) Send a healer to Ames b4 she dies

932) Education Conversion Class

933) Shhhh he's sleeping

934) "Murder probably"

935) orf chumps

936) orc chumps

937) Protect the Orcs, their doing their best

938) Protect the Orc chumps, their doing their best

939) Protect the Orc chumps, they're doing their best

940) Team Lazarus; The Fellowship of the Riddle

941) awkward potato club

942) WORSHIP HIM FOOLS

943) Puzzle Me Like One of You French Boys

944) Puzzle Me Like One of Your French Boys

945) Make Amy the Wine Aunt 2k17

946) The Homeowners Guide to Homicide by Zsasz

947) Fre Sha Vaca Drew

948)  all i want is pizza and tea

949) diggy dig

950) rip NON's teeth

951) IT's thE FINAL COUNTDOWNNN

952) Spooky Scary Kaitons

953) Aardvark v Anteater: Battle of the Cute

954) Compromise: Red Panda

955) WOOHOO YEAH EMMA LOOK AT THIS TALENTED BEAN

956) What the fuck are vampire laws?

957) AMES IS A CRYPTID BORN IN A FIELD

958) SHIA SURPRISE

959) TODAY NON WAS BORN

960) Everyone check put Emma's art!

961) Everyone check out Emma's art!

962) We all Love Ames

963) It's The Scarecrow, not The Grim Dino Bunny!!!

964) Let Jon be what he wnats 2k17

965) Jonathan can do better than reaping bunny dinosaur! 2k17

966) If Jonathan wants to be a reaping bunny dinosaur he can

967) Jonathan can't be both the God of Fear and a Reaping Bunny Raptor!

968) LET HIM DREAM

969) THIS AIN'T A DREAM!!!

970) Remember! Reality's an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold!

971) Let's make it 9 closer, shall we!

972) 👀👀👀👀

973) Teacher Ames

974) Hello darkness my old friend

975) 🙏🏼🙏🏼 Bless this mess 🙏🏼🙏🏼

976) Friskuella 4 lyfe

977) Young just ass

978) time for tea

979) Happy Spooptober!

980) Codot is back at it again 👀👀

981) It's October and shit's bout to go down, but I want to scream about DuckTales

982) Update: Ames is as cute as ever! 👌

983) Ames expands her meme kingdom

984) Ames the hallowmeme queen

985) Meme Queen Amemes

986) Jon and Sylv #goals 😍

987) T^T Emma fails Jervis - 10/6

988) Canada is a cult #confirmed

989) Nasty Boys™

990) Celery

991) World War Tea

992) Farmer Ames vs. Poison Ivy

993) Canada is already clean

994) Frisk, liberate us from the assignments

995) I snort the gas so I can pass

996) Brown breaks down over a deleted art folder but by magic gets it back

997) #GiveScarecrowHugs2k17

998) PLEASE SAVE AMY

999) How close are we, Sassy??

1000) Operation recover pom pom

1001) TEAM LAZARUS 1001 NAMES

#CONGRATS YOU GUYS #PROUD OF YOU

[the-panic-the-static]

ALL THE QUESTIONS IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH

1. What is your middle name?I don’t have a middle name

2. Do you have any nicknames?Nope

3. Do you have any allergies?No

4. What is the longest your hair has ever been?To my hips 

5. Apple or PC?pc

6. Favorite flavor?ehh depends on the food

7. Have you ever been on a blind date?No

8. Are you friends with any of your exes?NO

9. What kind of car do you drive?A Citroen

10. How grammatically correct are you when you text?In German, very, in English I try to be 

11. What foreign country would you most like to visit and why?Norway, because it’s so fucking beautiful there AND the US just to see a wonderful human

12. Creamy or chunky peanut butter?creamy 

13. Favorite food to pig out on?

14. DC or Marvel?ehhh idc

15. Disney or Nickelodeon?SAME

16. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer?I have not!

17. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it?It’s called Bio-Nahrungsmittel für alle ... ?: Trendentwicklungen der Biobranche by Astrid Sara Nave, and ehhh I would recommend it if you’re interested in organic food and speak German (I had to read it for my diploma thesis)

18. Do you read any magazines?I do

19. Coffee or tea?Tea

20. What is your go-to Starbucks drink?I’ve been to Starbucks just once and ehh no thanks

21. How many things can do with your weaker hand?IDK actually nothing tbh

22. Last show you binge watched?None

23. Dogs or cats?Dooogs

24. Favorite Disney princess?wat

25. Do you like fast food?sometimes, sure

26. Favorite thing to cook for yourself?Lately I’ve often been cooking this coconut-rice with vegetables, cashews and dattles cause it’s SO GOOD

27. Favorite song to sing in the shower?Lately: The Heart From Your Hate

28. Have you ever butt dialed anyone?HELL NO

29. iPhone/iPad or Android?Android

30. Any styles of music you do not like?Actually everything else but Metal/Rock tbh

31. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it?I did and yeah, I liked it

32. Have you ever gotten a ticket while driving?Nope

33. Favorite emoji?EH IDK

34. Showers or baths?DEPENDS ON the day/mood

35. Is there anything you regret buying?Not really, no

36. Are you fluent in more than one language?I am

37. Any movie(s) you can watch over and over again and enjoy just as much every time?There are a few

38. What is the heaviest you have ever weighed?AHHHH

39. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where?3, two on my arms and one on my back

40. Have you ever uttered a spoken hashtag?NOPE

41. Favorite school subject?EH it was Business Informatics and Information- and Mediatechnology

42. Favorite non-chocolate candy?ICE CREAM IF THAT COUNTS AS CANDY

43. Name one celebrity you dislike.IDC

44. If you could have one superpower, which one would you most like to have?READ OTHER PEOPLE’S MINDS I GUESS

45. From 1-10, rate your singing ability.Probably a 3

46. From 1-10, rate your dancing ability.0

47. From 1-10, rate your cooking ability.I love cooking, I’d say a solid 8

48. From 1-10, rate your driving ability.SAME FOR DRIVING

49. Are you religious?No

50. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite?Not really

51. Have you ever locked your keys in your car?Ehh, no

52. Spring or autumn?Autumn

53. Do you play any sports?nope

54. Can you play any musical instruments?The flute 

55. Are you more introverted or extroverted?Introverted, obviously

56. How easily do you cry?Very, unfortunately

57. Last musical artist you saw live?KORN

58. Favorite YouTube channel?Don’t really have a favourite

59. Star Wars or Star Trek?IDC

60. How long have you known your best friend?5 years!

61. Have you ever voted for a reality show?Ehh, no

62. Last CD you bought?GOOD QUESTION, I don’t really know

63. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship?if you mean if I’ve ever broke up with someone, yeah, I have

64. Have you ever been broken up with?Yeah

65. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show?No

66. How long was your longest relationship? Are you still with that person?kinda over a year, no, luckily

67. Have you seen any Broadway plays or musicals?Yeah, with school but I can’t remember anymore

68. Have you ever acted in a play or a musical?When I was in primary school, yeah

69. How flexible are you?kinda, I think

70. Have you ever sexted?Sure

71. Do you own any clothes from garage sales or thrift stores?No, I don’t

72. Real or fake Christmas trees?DON’T REALLY CARE

73. How many pillows do you sleep with?One big and one small

74. How well can you write in cursive?my handwriting is horrible

75. What is your political affiliation?-

76. Do you like any boy bands?HELL NO

77. Have you ever broken any bones?I haven’t

78. Have you ever gotten any stitches?No

79. Do you have any piercings in places other than your ears?I do

80. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it?a pullover, 3 years I guess

81. Do you like wearing hats?No

82. Have you ever dyed your hair?Sure

83. From 1-10, how competitive are you?I’d say 5, I don’t really know tbh

84. How long have you been at your current job?2 weeks, just started

85. Have you ever studied abroad?No

86. Phrase you say the most?probably “What the fuck” or “I DON’T KNOW”

87. Have you ever quit a job?no

88. Have you ever gotten fired from a job?No

89. Have you ever won a trophy? If so, what for?I have, flute 

90. Have you ever been a Boy/Girl Scout?I haven’t

91. Last thing that made you laugh?TODAY at work I told my co-worker that a girl from my friend’s class and her boyfriend have dildos distributed all over their apartment and we talked about how weird that was cause they don’t hide it when people come visiting them and like, THERE ARE DILDOS ON THE FUCKING TABLE OR COUCH AND THEY JUST DON’T CARE ABOUT IT AND ACT LIKE IT WAS NORMAL TO SHOW EVERYONE LIKE IT WAS SOME DECOR 

92. Do you eat meat?No, actually not

93. Are you more of a morning or a night person?night, definitely

94. Worst habit?Eating at nights, I hate it 

95. Deepest fear?Old habits

96. Do you believe in ghosts?I don’t

97. If you could take home any animal from the zoo, what animal would you take?EHH IDK Probably a tapir, they’re so sweet

98. Do you consider rapping singing?rapping is rapping, singing is singing

99. Favorite costume you wore for Halloween? How old were you?IT WAS A WITH when I was like, 6? 

100. Favorite store to shop at?EHH idk

101. Have you ever given anyone CPR?I haven’t

102. Favorite Pokémon?-

103. Do you own any homemade clothing?NO

104. Do you drink alcohol at all? If so, what is your drink of choice?I do, Gin Tonic

105. Have you ever skinny dipped?YEAH when I was maybe 2 or 3 in our garden 

106. Favorite type of cookie?CHOCOLATE chip, probably

107. Favorite flavor of ice cream?I LIKE THEM ALL CAN’T DECIDE

108. Biggest pet peeve?table manners, probably

109. Are you still friends with anyone from high school?I am

110. Favorite literary character?EHH idc

111. Are your birth parents still together?They are

112. Do you wear or have your ever worn glasses?I have, now I’m wearing contacts

113. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang out with?I have like 20 fb friends so yeah, pretty much with everyone of them 

114. Have you ever been the victim of a prank?I haven’t

115. Do you belong to a fraternity or a sorority?No

116. Have you ever taken a nude selfie?I have

117. Are you adopted?I’m not

118. Favorite fandom??

119. Oldest memory?I laughed at a friend’s haircut when I was 6 and she started crying, I regreted it so much that I locked myself in the toilet and cried until my teacher followed me, she needed one hour to make me open the door and brought me back to class, I apologized immediately and since then I’ve never done something like this to anyone ever again, and I won’t 

120. Have you ever snorted when you laughed?No

121. Can you drive stick?I drive stick

122. Favorite Disney song?IDC

123. Random boy’s name.Daniel ♥

124. Random girls’ name.Ehhh, MARLIES

125. How often do you eat out at a nice restaurant?maybe 2-3 times a month

126. How many people are in your nuclear family?4

127. What accent do you consider the most attractive?IDK I JUST KNOW that mine is the ugliest

128. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?IDK

129. What is your astrological sign?Gemini

130. Biggest regret?THERE ARE some I guess idk

131. What type of shoes do you wear the most?BOOTS

132. Do you like any soap operas?Nah

133. Do you listen to talk radio?No

134. What sports team(s) do you root for?NONE

135. Describe your sense of humor.IDK it’s weird I guess

136. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender?Today a girl randomly sent me her tits, if that counts

137. Favorite video game?BATTLEFIELD AT THE MOMENT

138. Name a moment in your life when you were pleasantly surprised.When I got the job I haven’t thought I would get

139. Do you believe in serendipity?No really

140. Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was done?Yeah

141. Have you ever felt you were born in the wrong period of history?SOmetimes, yeah

142. Is sex before marriage wrong?Of course not? wtf

143. Have you ever gotten a song you dislike stuck in your head?I have

144. Can you handle spicy food?I love spicy food

145. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as darling, honey, babe, or dear?I have

146. Do you like MTV?Nah

147. Where on your body are you the most ticklish?Probably feet

148. TV show or movie you quote/reference the most?idk

149. Have you ever lived with a roommate you didn’t get along with?No

150. Where do you think is the best place to meet a new lover?idk, probably in a restaurant or bar, I think it’s not important as long as both feel comfortable with the place

151. Have you ever successfully been on a diet?I have

152. Favorite thing to do outside?EHH GO FOR A WALK? IDK

153. Where did you go on your last vacation?Croatia

154. Do you say “y'all” at all?sometimes, I do

155. Have you ever lived on a farm?I haven’t

156. Do you believe in evolution?I do

157. What TV channel do you watch the most?I don’t watch TV at all

158. Favorite Beatles song?IDC

159. Have you ever been on TV?No, luckily

160. Have you ever been to Disney World or Disneyland?Nope

161. Do you like horror movies?I do

162. Do you like to go fishing?Haven’t been in years, used to go sometimes with my dad when I was like 4?

163. Have you ever been hunting?Ehhh no?

164. Do you take medication for anything?I do

165. Name one item from your bucket list.I don’t have such a list

166. From 1-10, how much do you like children?it depends on the child? I’d say a 5

167. Have you ever thought about your wedding?Nah

168. Have you ever been bungee jumping or skydiving?I haven’t

169. Favorite flower?I LOVE THEM ALL

170. Do you collect anything?LINGERIE if that counts

171. Who was the last person you told a lie to?MY MOTHER TODAY cause she asked me when I’m going to visit them again and I said I didn’t know even though I’m going to visit them tomorrow!

172. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman?No

173. Have you ever had a fortune cookie fortune come true?ehh no

174. What was your favorite toy to play with when you were a child?can’t even remember

175. How good are you at math?not too good, not too bad

176. Have you ever learned anything from a how-to YouTube video?No

177. Have you ever participated in a science fair?No

178. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender?Nope

179. Have you ever participated in a public protest?No

180. Do you have a pool at your house?I haven’t

181. Have you ever hosted a wild party?nope

182. Do you like karaoke?No really

183. Have you ever written a love letter?I have

184. Have you ever ran a marathon?No

185. How often do you get mad at yourself?Like, all the time

186. Any guilty pleasures? I don’t think so

187. Fruits or vegetables?BOTH

188. Do you live in a house or an apartment?Apartment

189. The countryside or the suburbs?both has its pros and cons, for me it’s the suburbs

190. Worst job you’ve ever had?-

191. Do you hang out with any of your co-workers?NOT YET

192. Were you ever voted homecoming/prom king or queen?We don’t have this dumb shit over here, luckily 

193. Were you voted a “best” or “most likely to” in high school?wtf

194. Have you ever gotten detention?no

195. Have you ever babysat?I have

196. Have you ever taken a road trip just for the fun of it?Of course

197. How many drinks get you tipsy?I think it starts around drink number 6

198. Were you a part of any academic clubs in high school or college?-

199. Have you ever given a public speech, aside from your schooling?no

200. How long have you been on tumblr? For almost 3 years now

THANK YOU SO MUCH DANIEL ♥

[sapphicluxanna]

1-100 pls 🌹💕

BABE. oh my god. okay here we go, it’s gonna be long!!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk I think?

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? I love winter and everything about it, I’d rather be cold than hot 

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? post it notes, receipts, I’ve used flowers a few times, really anything that’s in reach

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? tea with a little bit of milk and honey, coffee depends on the day? typically with a lil bit of vanilla creamer. when I make my ‘fancy’ coffee at home with frothy milk on top I always top them off with a dusting of cinnamon 

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? always

6: do you keep plants? ye! I have a succulent/cacti terrarium, some sunflowers, jasmine, african violets, tomato plants, hanging planters, and a few more I forget the names of!

7: do you name your plants? not the ones I have currently

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I love ink. I haven't been able to paint with ink in a while, but the movement of that and watercolor are just.. freeing? I dunno how to explain it.  that and drawing using ink, every mark you make is permanent and I just kinda zone out when doing it

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? aight listen. my future s/o is gonna have to deal with this a lot. shower? singing. car ride? singing. cooking? singing. y'all aint getting a break even if I sound like a dying cat

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? primarily side and stomach!

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? I cant think of many at the moment but uhhhh. hmm. a few guys and I play a game together and I run the group (in rdr2), and we don't let people join it if their horse’s tail isn't braided so we’ll hunt them down and kill them instead

12: what’s your favorite planet? neptune looks beautiful

13: what’s something that made you smile today? the fact that you wanted to know more about me

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? lots and lots of plants, kinda modern, a few fish tanks, smells like lavender and coffee

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! mars has the biggest known volcano!

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? stupidly basic, but chicken parmesan 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I’ve always wanted to impulsively dye it some shade of blue just for a few weeks

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I got ridiculously drunk off tequila at a house party and was given my first mojito, thought he picked leaves off the tree out back and threw them in so I dug them out and threw them around the yard in disgust. I have a very vague memory of this but they always give me crap for it

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I have a couple! one is my bujo where I keep lists of things like self care ideas, favorite movies and books, quotes, friend stuff, etc. another I use to draw in and like to recreate van gogh sketches, others are private 

20: what’s your favorite eye color? y'all ever really see brown eyes? oof

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don't have this?

22: are you a morning person? I could be if I woke up next to the right person

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? netflix binging, reading, aquarium shopping, walks with my dog in the woods, making stupid pancakes, and league with a babe

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? it takes time for me to trust people, so probably all my life at some point with a girl. as for family? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I’ve locked myself outta my place a few times and had to go through the window

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? several pairs of sandals and slides!

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? just regular mint?

28: sunrise or sunset? watching the sunset on a blanket in the grass with a girl I care about 

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? her voice gets a lil louder and she talks fast when she's excited about something and its flipping adorable

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes. 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love fluffy socks and patterned socks and ones with dinosaurs and stuff and I love socks so much, don't sleep in them though

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. we played a drinking game based off how we did in a split screen game, one drink for every kill, got v drunk that night 

33: what’s your fave pastry? I love baclava but I’m horribly allergic to walnuts

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I still have it! my dad went down to south carolina a lot and I was, and still am, very much in love with alligators. I think I was six or something but he came home with this giant garbage bag and was moving it like there was an animal inside and when I opened it, it was a giant stuffed alligator. he's currently sitting on my bed, but seems a lot smaller now

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I really wanna get into using thicker paper for letters with pressed wax seals and pressed flowers 

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? I don’t really focus on individual bands too much tbh, I bounce around a lot within genres. anything happy and country atm

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I’m tryna keep it cleaner, better habit to make myself get into 

38: tell us about your pet peeves! people smoking around me (I don't care that you smoke whatever, I just ask you don't do it around me bc it makes me feel sick), a group of people that takes up the whole sidewalk going incredibly slow, people that cut me off in traffic without turn signals, people who f around in the tsa line and don't get ready then stand there for ten minutes taking everything off for the scanner and hold us up, “there” and “their” and “they’re” misuses, etc. jeez, didn't realize I had so many and that's not even all of them

39: what color do you wear the most? blue?

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I love my claddagh ring, my mom and sister both have the same one and we all match. currently not wearing it bc it was like 100 degrees F then other day and it burned my finger?????

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? asoiaf!!!!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I like this lil coffee shop about half an hour away, every drink has an individual and funny name and the workers are nice 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I honestly can’t remember, but I could really go for this right now

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? uhhhh it’s been a bit? lotta stressors recently 

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? I try to, should've listened to them regarding some stuff and I didn’t 

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. what do you call a blind dinosaur? a do-you-think-he-saurus.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? broccoli

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? santa and the dark, no on both accounts now 

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? no, I just use apple music 

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? I dunno about odd, but I keep seashells and shark teeth I find on beaches 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? somebody to love

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? uhhhh I’m bad at keeping up with when these come out but probably the “wait was anyone going to tell me ___ or was I supposed to find out in this ___”

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I haven't seen these sorry!

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my dad

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? I honestly cannot think of this right now

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they get excited about something, when their eyes sparkle a bit in sunlight, when they’re touchy (only certain ones), compassion, weird hobbies and interests, etc

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? it’s an experience. listen with headphones on high or don't listen to it at all

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I guess I’d be the wine mom bc I don't drink heavily too often with my friends cause I’m usually the dd, vodka aunt would go to my friend S cause hell she puts that shit away fast

59: what’s your favorite myth? I love greek mythology

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? sappho

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? a lil cat bank that grabs a coin with its paw and drags it into the box and a potato, respectively 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? not usually

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I kept all of my books on a shelf before the move but idk what imma do with them now bc I have no room for a bookcase so they're kinda messy rn

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? pale blue and cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a friend who moved away a few years ago, I miss her 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? oooooh. hmm. lots of blues and pinks and purples with lil twisty brown vines?

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? I love them, 10/10, perfect. 

68: what’s winter like where you live? we either get 3 feet of snow overnight or a dusting, there’s no in between

69: what are your favorite board games? I cant remember the last time I played a board game??? I liked the game of life and monopoly when I was a kid 

70: have you ever used a ouija board? nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? whatever happens to be in the cabinet!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? I have the memory of a goldfish

73: what are some of your worst habits? letting people get away with things they've done to me, being too lenient with people that make me uncomfortable, etc

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re such a good friend and we have enough years built into our friendship that we can go a few weeks without talking and be right where we left off. they’re kind and caring and ready to help people when they need it 

75: tell us about your pets! my cat is an 8 year old lil grump, but he gets so freaking affectionate and lovey too. he knows when I’m anxious and will come up and sit on my chest and purr. my dog’s a ball of jumping energy, she's always excited and happy, she’s only 2 so hopefully she’ll mellow out. then my clownfish are flipping adorable even though they try to bite my fingers when I’m working on the aquarium 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? unpacking and socializing with family

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink lemonade 

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I don't care about them really, but the facebook minion memes passed around by moms gotta stop

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? one of my exes surprise got me flowers sometimes, while the relationship just didn't work that was a cute action 

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? they’re kinda beige-ish? I just moved here and I don’t wanna repaint them

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. hmm. one of my friends’ eyes are like the leaves on the forest floor, an assortment of greens and browns blended together with the occasional fleck of gold when light filters through the trees

82: are/were you good in school? I’m okay? In high school I was in honor classes and stuff and I've made the deans list a few times in college so far, but honestly I think I’m just average. I have a lot of issues with math and it’s why I couldn't go into one of the fields I was considering. I get overwhelmed quickly

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? tbh I don't look at this kinda stuff but I know kesha’s rainbow was good?

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? ye! I want a small humpback whale on my left inner wrist, they mean a lot to me and I finally got to see one in person just last year. then I have some scars on my thigh I’ve been tossing around the idea of getting a tattoo to cover up, but idk if I would or what I would get 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? no sorry! I always wanted to when I was younger but I got psyched out by guys who would say they're not for girls who I never took advantage of the comic shop a family friend owns 

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? I dunno what this is and I’m too tired to google it but imma guess its about music? to which I say I’m v bad at keeping up with everyones stuff 

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? the princess bride, star wars, lord of the rings, the sound of music, indiana jones (NOT crystal skull, it sucked), jurassic park, and a lottttt more. 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? impressionism, post impressionism, and expressionism 

89: are you close to your parents? ish. 

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I absolutely loved st. malo in france. I need to go back. it’s a giant walled city on the water and it’s just beautiful. I sat and watched an artist on the street for a while and bought two of his paintings afterward, gotta figure out where to hang them in my new bedroom. the air smelled amazing, it rained a lot when I was there but I still loved it and I wish I’d had more time to really explore than I did

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I wanted to go to sri lanka to see my family but I don’t think it’s gonna happen, but I’ve got my fingers crossed for pennsylvania cause reasons 

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? cheese is life

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? I braid it overnight and wear it down during the day!

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad a few days ago 

95: what are your plans for this weekend? I think I’ve got another family party to go to? feel kinda done with my fam rn though

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I literally just installed 2 years worth of updates this morning, so yeah, I procrastinate updates quite a bit 

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? idk what the first thing is but the others are scorpio and slytherin!

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? oh wow I can’t remember, but imma say yes? I wanna hike with my dog at some point 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. somebody to love, la mer, and some others

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the future. I hope that future me is happy and comfy with someone she loves surrounded by their plants, aquariums, pets, and love. 

#this was #so long #youre adorable ily #lack of emojis due to typing on my computer #oof #answered

[loudspooky-blog]

My Encounter with a Sociopath: A Timeline of Events

We begin messing around. I ask you a series of questions about your past and recent sexual history. I asked things that no one should ever lie about: when was your last checkup, had you had unprotected sex within the last six months, had you ever been diagnosed with an STD, how many partners you'd had, if you were currently involved with someone, I even asked you if the rumors of your love interest were true, and you dismissed them as nothing but that, and you two were nothing but friends (every single answer you gave me was a lie, but we'll get to that later, considering it was a recurring trend of yours). [1] We officially "seal the deal" per se. We talk almost everyday, sometimes all day long. I begin to fall for you. I tell you I'm not comfortable with the way things are going. I tell you we need to back off. You insist that you deserve to know how I really feel about you, you insist that I don't shut you out. I tell you I love you. For the record, I wouldn't never felt this way about you had you have been honest with me. [2] You tell me you love me. You tell me I'm amazing. You tell me I'm the best bing that ever happened to you. It's been around 2 1/2 months since we started. You block me one night. I ask you the next day. You tell me you were upset with me. I call BS and persist. You tell me that you blocked me because you did a line of cocaine and slept with your "former" love interest. I try to break things off. I tell you that's it's over, I'm done with girls who tell me they love me while simultaneously sleeping with other guys [3]. You turn into a blubbering mess. You swear that you love me. You swear it will never happen again. You beg me to give you another chance. I concede, and give you another chance. [4] Not quiet two weeks later. I ask if you've slept with your "former" love interest since the last time. You admit that you had. Initially, you once again beg me for another chance. At first, I refuse. The more time that elapses the more angry I become. I demand answers. You tell me that you never loved me. You tell me you were leading me on. You tell me that "he" is the one that you want to be with, the one you want to marry. You shut me out. Over the course of the next week you drop little hints that this isn't what you really want i.e. "listen to the words of this song"(Telepathic, by Starset. Periscope, by Papa Roach) "this is so fucking hard" etc Two weeks later. You can't take it anymore, you say. You tell me that not talking to me has been unbearable. You tell me that you didn't mean what you'd said, that you thought that's what I needed to hear. Once again, I forgive you. You tell me that you love me. You promise that no matter what ever happens you won't shut me out again. I tell you that as long as you don't lie to me again, no matter what ever happens I'll always be there for you. You promise you won't. You call me your soulmate. Not even 3 days later. "I'm not allowed to talk to you" you tell me. You had lied to me again, after you promised not to. In an instant, every single bit of love and affection that I had for you turns to hate and disgust. In summary, you are a narcissistic sociopathic pathological liar, slut. Oh, you don't like that word, right? Because that's what your "rapist" called you. I firmly believe that you were neither raped nor molested. What are the odds that the only 2 true things you told me would also happen to be the most appalling things that had happened to you? Maybe you just like the sympathy. Who knows? Who cares? I was nothing but honest with you. One of the biggest reasons I fell in love with you was because you were so "open" and "honest", traits that had eluded nearly all my past relationships. I fell in love with a monster under the guise of a fabricated persona. I do take a little comfort in knowing that you are near universally hated and despised that nearly everyone you come into contact with that knows you're name. And, I must admit, when someone asks "why do you hate her so much" after I tell them, watching the look on their face turn from one of curiosity to disgust provides a degree of vindication that you are indeed a monster. I even feel bad for your "former" love interest. I hated him at first, but I soon realized that everything you had told me about him was a lie. He wasn't abusive towards you, he didn't practically rape you, none of it was true. I feel bad for him because I know how hard it is to love you. I know you didn't tell him everything, if you had I doubt y'all would be together right now. One day he will find out, and it will break him. When you do fess up, and reveal to him the depth of your dishonesty, I would leave out the part where the hundred year old midget with horrible teeth, god I love that magnificent bastard, lost a butt plug in your ass. [1] You lied to me about everything. You lied about the number of partners you had, you lied about your use (or more accurately, disuse) of protection, you lied about your "former" love interest, every single question I asked, you provided a lie. Seriously not fucking cool. But why stop there? During our 4 month affair you had several opportunities to be honest, but you never were, and I despise you for it. [2] Being in love with you was hard. Because of who you were, and your history, it was a big pill to swallow. I mean come on, you slept with the hundred year old midget with horrible teeth, god love him (including nearly half of your male coworkers) you practiced self harm, you're a drug addict with a history of hard drug use, you're a needy little immature brat and to top it all off you smile funny, and you're tubby (hands down the largest girl I've ever slept with). If you would've just told me the truth, who you really were, I wouldn't have felt the way about you that I did, and all this pain could've been avoided, but instead you allowed me to believe that you were someone that you weren't. [3] It was at this time I knew I wouldn't leave my wife for you. Sure, what she did was fucked up, and in many ways it was unforgivable, but why leave one cheating slut for another? Now one might argue that it was cheating considering we weren't in an "official" relationship. Yet, one might also argue that despite all the things you were telling me, all the bullshit you weren't shoveling me i.e. I love you, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, I'll wait for you until we can be together etc, it qualifies. [4] This is probably what pisses me off the most. I could've ended it right then, but you wouldn't let me. But I believe I already answered the question of why you wouldn't let me: I was your Plan B, and you didn't have a Plan C.