#would love it if they fully embraced and went more bonkers

[notsooriginaltrash]

Saw Multiverse of Madness

Remember when we went absolutely feral in 2019 because we thought we might get the big magic trio? Yeah, me too

#i was expecting my boy #was disappointed #but ignoring that i thought the movie was somewhat good #i really enjoyed the horror aspect and how it made the movie vibe different from ither mcu bland formula #would love it if they fully embraced and went more bonkers #love the concept of superhero genre mixed with horror #too bad I did not care for the characters #wanda carried she was absolutely the best part creepy evil woman <3 #wish they weren't scared too explore her mentality more #also Charles cameo rad #AND REED RICHARDS OH MY GOD #bonkers #loved that #mcu #marvel #multiverse of madness #mom spoilers #multiverse of madness spoilers #doctor strange #wanda maximoff #america chavez #loki

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Q Presents: The Best of the Best 97 1998 Alternative Rock / Britpop / Big Beat

Folks, this little comp here, which was included as a freebie sampler in an early 1998 issue of British music magazine Q, really gets at something that I've been banging the drum about for years now, and it's simply that, writ large, UK music is just better than American music. And I don't know how long it's been that way, but it dates back to at least sometime in the 90s. The things that have always seemed to set us apart from each other are our relative eases of access to different types of music and the overall rigidity, or lack thereof, of our many-tentacled popular music industries. And I'm gonna simultaneously get into both of those things right now. 

For one, while electronic music in the US has largely been treated as this weird and foreign sideshow, the UK has managed to fully embrace it. They had their Second Summer of Love back in 1988, which saw teenagers and twenty-somethings taken hold by the acid house phenomenon, in which large warehouses were commandeered in order to throw enormous and illegal late night raves. And outside of London, Manchester caught the bug for it especially, which then spawned an iconic scene called Madchester, with bands like The Stone Roses and Happy Mondays venturing into alternative/indie dance territory by incorporating acid house into their own respective sounds. Versatile British dance trendsetter Paul Oakenfold would co-produce the Happy Mondays' most acclaimed LP, 1990's Pills 'n' Thrills and Bellyaches, and in addition to that, enterprising DJs were also hijacking the airwaves with pirate radio transmissions of their own too, so they could bring other underground electronic music, like jungle and breakbeat hardcore, to the masses as well. 

And the prevalence of both the warehouse raves and pirate radio then seemed to engender this tradition among a significant amount of youths towards clubbing. Nightclubs would be open every night, often with some sort of theme or genre allocated for each one of those nights, and the young people would have their pick of where they wanted to go. And this time around it was all legal, except for all the drugs that you might choose to do 😅.

Now, the US, of course, has had its own clubbing history and culture too, but clubbing seems to be a far less popular activity among Americans, and you'll almost never hear our most popular radio stations showcasing the kind of electronic dance music that gets played at a club, whereas the BBC will be hip enough to air sets from some of the UK underground's greatest contemporary dance DJs.

So with nothing like a Second Summer of Love ever managing to occur in the US, despite the fact that we invented both house and techno, we still never really had a generation that electronic music successfully permeated to a comparable point of ubiquity as the UK did. And I think that's the main reason why our music isn't as good as theirs. You'll find electronic music in plenty of American pop material now, but we are so far behind what the UK has already been doing for decades. They developed their own scenes for every electronic genre under the sun and it ended up serving as this connective tissue to make the UK such a sonically vibrant and dynamic melting pot. Underworld's utterly strange techno odyssey, "Born Slippy," went to #2; drum n bass was popular enough to chart; Portishead, Massive Attack, and Tricky were all huge deals; and the big beat scene that was helmed by people like Fatboy Slim, The Chemical Brothers, and The Prodigy went simply bonkers. And the US really never had *anything* close to that, besides some of that big beat crossing over to soundtrack our futuristically-themed audiovisual media, like The Matrix, et al., and some car commercials.

And without that dimension of electronic music being able to flourish Stateside, the state of our own industry resulted in something that was a whole lot more cliquish and segregated. Little to no cross-pollination really ever occurred here and the most tangible thing we ever got out of it when it actually did happen was rap-rock and nu metal 😒. After grunge died, some of our biggest, most accessible American alt rock acts ended up being names along the lines of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Third Eye Blind, the Goo Goo Dolls, and Everclear, and over in the UK, they had Radiohead, Oasis, and Blur. And Radiohead would end up drawing inspiration from Aphex Twin and IDM, and Damon Albarn from Blur would go on to form The Gorillaz. Do you see what I mean?

So all of this is to say that while Q could produce a CD like this, comprised of fantastic music by mostly UK acts that the record-buying public over there was already familiar with, no widely read US publication would've been able to pull off the same in 1998 with a CD of mostly US acts. They might've been able to cobble together a better album with purely indie material, but then a lot of the names on that CD would've been obscure to a whole lot of folks. And while this comp from Q presents UK-made electronic music in the form of big beat from The Chemical Brothers, big beat-hip hop from The Prodigy and prolific abstract Big Apple rapper Kool Keith, and vocally soulful drum n bass from Roni Size / Reprazent, the best that the US probably could've mustered in comparison would've been something from someone like Moby, and *literally no one else.*

To be clear, America has produced plenty of great music without electronic music being popular enough to really inspire it, but the problem is really twofold: that amount of music, for the massively larger population that we have in comparison to the UK, is in nowhere near as much of an abundance, and for the great stuff that we have made, our industry, mechanisms, and apparatuses don't really do all that much in order to successfully raise its profile to a point of pervasiveness like the UK does. And I think a lack of electronic music being somewhere in the accessible ether definitely has something to do with it all.

Seeing as how this post is already long enough as it is, let me just provide one example of a song from this album that's a) very good and b) by a popular UK band that's not very well-known to Americans. I'm sure the US has had an indie group whose sound approaches that of England's Mansun before, but there's no way that what they ever made ended up amounting to anywhere near a similar amount of commercial success. Mansun's music has been available in the US, but they've only ever managed to chart once here, on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks list, with their 1996 single, "Wide Open Space," peaking at #25. And while the debut LP that that song is derived from, Attack of the Grey Lantern, didn't chart in any capacity in America, conversely, it managed to make it all the way to #1 on the UK's Albums Chart.

And the Mansun song that's on this Q comp here, "Mansun's Only Love Song," is from that same album too, and I think it's safe to say that no remotely popular American band has ever made anything quite like it. It's super catchy, melty, and silky-smoothly surging Britpop with icy synths and a distinct hip hop underbelly. And it's so good 🥰.

So, something that us music lifers always seem to be confronted with is this difficult-to-maneuver intersection between art and capital, which often leads to an axiomatic conclusion that striving for capital will always corrupt art, and sacrificing your art generates the potential to attain more capital. And while that's certainly borne out in the US to what feels like an extreme degree in more modern times, I don't feel like that conflict has ever been as dire across the pond, and this simple comp here of 15 songs that were mostly made by UK acts shows that some of those who are capable of making excellent and inventive music can also make a good chunk of change off of it as well, without having to either be a rare indie band that finds a way to strike rich, or a group of total sellouts. Whatever the UK's had in place, they've certainly managed to find that balance a whole lot more often than the US has, and one of the main reasons why they've been able to do it in the first place, in my opinion, is because the fertile ground that had been laid by acid house in the late 80s enabled electronic music, more broadly, to achieve a mix of popularity, accessibility, and inspiration that never came anywhere close to materializing in America.

Fin.

Highlights:

The Chemical Brothers - "Block Rockin' Beats (radio edit)" Texas - "Black Eyed Boy" Erykah Badu - "On and On" Bush - "Swallowed (7" mix)" The Prodigy - "Diesel Power" Supergrass - "Tonight" Portishead - "Cowboys" Depeche Mode - "Barrel of a Gun" Blur - "Country Sad Ballad Man" Mansun - "Mansun's Only Love Song" Primal Scream - "Burning Wheel" Roni Size / Reprazent - "Heroes" Oasis - "Fade In-Out" Radiohead - "The Tourist"

#alternative rock #britpop #brit pop #alternative #alternative music #rock #big beat #dance #dance music #electronic #electronic music #music #90s #90s music #90's #90's music

[transmascfrankiero]

all of mcr’s songs ranked out of ten based on whether or not you can strip to them:

romance: could work if you were going for a Super Melancholy smiths-esque vibe but overall too slow and pretty. 1/10

honey: headbanger soundtrack to showcase your revenge body to ur ex. bonus points for underlying ‘gonna murder shitty boyfriend’ context thanks to audition-inspired video. but slightly too angry to be seductive. 5/10

vampires: too goth, too many feelings. reminds me of pot dreads frank. would not work. 0/10

drowning lessons: this song is cursed and cannot be listened to in public unfortunately 0/10

sorrows: if u were going to do a strip routine while beating the shit out of someone for trying to stealing ur tip money this would be a gr8 choice 6/10

halos: it’s about blowing your own head off and taking too many pills to cope w/ wanting to die all the time. 0/10

turnstiles: please do not!!! strip!!! to a song!!! about 9/11!!!! what is wrong w/ you!!! -100000000/10

monroeville: if u were doing a private lil strip dance for your george a. romero-obsessed s.o. where u both cry over the idea of having to kill the other person b/c they turned into a zombie then sure??? but other than that no. .5/10

best day ever: ehhhhhh. too fast. kinda weird to get sexy to unless u have a hospital kink. 0/10

cubicles: wow the thought of doing a strip routine to a song about pining for ur coworker who doesn’t know u exist is too sad to even joke about -20/10

demolition lovers: it’s a long song but it’s got cool tempo changes for variety and if u got the stamina then go for it. 4/10

helena: so, like, i get it. it’s a bop. u could dance to this beat for sure. the costumes and color scheme from the video make for gr8 stage pictures and the dancing corpse lady is v pretty. i could understand why if u were doing an emo strip routine u would want to use helena. but please for the love of all that is holy do NOT strip to a song gerard way wrote about his dead grandmother okay i am BEGGING you -∞/10

give ‘em hell kid: FUCK YEAH YOU LOOK PRETTY WALKIN DOWN THE STREET IN THE BEST DAMN DRESS U OWN. 10/10

to the end: this would be a hilarious choice for a bachelor party ngl 7/10 for that alone

prison: absolutely you could strip to this song but u gotta COMMIT okay u gotta light something on fire onstage and challenge gender norms while screaming your head off 8/10 but only if ur not a coward

i’m not okay: it’s a bop, but can u strip to it? no. 0/10

ghost of you: mikey way did not die on a beach in fake normandy for u to strip to ghost of you. seek help -5/10

jetset life: dude this song like. actually works??? for a strip routine??? so long as you don’t actually listen to the words, from a musical perspective, u could totally strip to this 10/10

interlude: what kinda weird catholic shame kink do u need to have to strip to this song. also it’s too short and too pretty. -5/10 (unless ur into catholic shame idk)

venom: this would require such a high energy routine but if u can make being sweaty work then this is a gr8 choice 7/10

hang ‘em high: this is a BATSHIT INSANE choice for a strip routine but if u want to do it then PLEASE do. i like ur style. 8/10

deathwish: u can strip to this only if u introduce ur routine by dedicating it to everyone who ever said eyeliner on dudes was gay. 5/10

cemetery drive: i think not. 0/10

never told you: if u are a highly theatrical highly murderous stripper then yes definitely 7/10

desert song: this song is Way Too Beautiful to strip to sorry you can’t have it -300/10

the end.: the only sexy thing about this song is how good gerard’s voice sounds so no. 0/10

dead!: this is a bold fucking choice but u have to play your cards just right. high risk high reward but SO much to potentially get wrong 6/10

how i disappear: u could. but why. 2/10

sharpest lives: holy SHIT yes ABSOLUTELY u should strip to sharpest lives. the drama. the beat. the spy rock guitar that frank accidentally nailed. this is one of THE choicest options from their catalog. why aren’t u stripping to this right now 50000000/10

wttbp: cute idea but don’t actually 0/10

i don’t love you: again, a bold fucking choice. u could strip to this in an edgy, meta sort of way but it’s missing the trashy factor so it’d have to be part performance art and part strip routine. if ur into that then totally 5/10

house of wolves: i mean i would pay money to see someone strip to this song so 7/10

cancer: LMAO YIKES -2000000/10

mama: this would be GLORIOUS if u fully embraced the sheer insanity and went Bonkers in Fuckin Zonkers burlesque-show-in-hell w/ it. 100/10 but u gotta pound the floor wailing at some point

sleep: i’m conflicted on this one like on the one hand it’s a good tempo for stripping but on the other hand it’s a song about being cruel to ur loved ones in order to force distance between u and them b/c you’re terrified of them getting hurt and it being all your fault. so maybe don’t strip to this one actually 0/10

teenagers: a bop w/ a great beat and fun costume ideas from the video but two major drawbacks being 1. ur getting naked to a song about teenagers which is uhhhh sort of Inappropriate and 2. it’s kind of also about school shooters which is also Inappropriate to get naked to. 0/10

disenchanted: why would u want this. you sad fuck. idek what to say except if you want to strip to this song i’m crying on your behalf -100000000/10

famous last words: don’t????? don’t. Do Not. stop that. -12/10

blood: this is HILARIOUS omg please strip to blood 10/10

kill all your friends: sure?? no objections but it’s an odd choice. this goes for the demo too. 2/10

heaven help us: if u want to strip to this then you definitely just read unholyverse for the first time and while u are valid, Don’t 0/10

my way home is through you: not an especially sexy song but it’s fun!! you do you 3/10

astro zombies (cover): uhhhhhh it’s a no from me dawg. i’d be thinking about danzig, like, the whole time. 0/10

desolation row: sure but u gotta be willing to get punched in the face by the riot squad for maximum effect 4/10

common people (cover): just b/c gerard would strip to britpop doesn’t mean u can. 0/10

emily: NO!!!! -50000/10

party at the end of the world: nah. 0/10

not that kind of girl: literally please consider the subject matter of this song and rethink ur life choices. -10/10

all the angels: it’s a cool song but don’t strip to it that’s weird -2/10

jack the ripper: you and the person who wants to strip to astro zombies can go sit in the suicidegirls corner together how about that. 0/10

na na na: a banger!! strip away my friend 9/10

bulletproof heart: a good song but not a strip song 1/10

sing: sorry this song is [REDACTED] it gets no score

planetary (go!): you could try to strip to this but it’s such a classic four-on-the-floor that i think you’d end up just regular dancing to it and forget to be sexy so 4/10

the only hope for me is you: are you doing a strip tease for michael bay. stop. put ur shirt back on shia lebeouf 0/10

party poison: like this is a hilarious option and i support you but realistically it’s pretty fast for a strip song 3/10

save yourself, i’ll hold them back: this is a safe option. Too Safe. almost soulless. a person who’d strip to this would avoid eye contact the entire time and never smile and later when you went out for a smoke break you’d overhear them on the phone with their ex arguing over child support payments. 4/10

s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: the more i think about it the more fun the idea of stripping to this becomes so i say go for it 6/10

summertime: i’m Certain that gerard would prefer if you didn’t -5/10

destroya: is this objectively the best mcr song to strip to? Absolutely. it’s got everything you could possibly want right down to built-in moans and fever dream drums. but the only person in the universe who Can Must and Should strip to this song is gerard. sorry them’s the breaks. ∞/10 but only if you’re gerard way

kids from yesterday: don’t. 0/10

vampire money: 100% yes you should strip to this. bonus points for stealth twilight references 1000000/10

we don’t need another song about california: do i like this song? yes. is it sexy? no. 0/10

black dragon fighting society: i can’t understand what the FUCK gerard is saying in this song AT ALL so i can’t recommend that u strip to it b/c i have no fucking idea what it’s ABOUT 0/10

f.t.w.w.w.: i mean. this song is about eating pussy. and robots that are built specifically to fuck. so yes you can strip to this but you gotta dress up like a pornbot 100/10

mastas of ravencroft: again i cannot understand most of the fucking words and the ones i do understand are something something RICKETY BONES RICKETY HANDS so like. probably not the one 0/10

boy division: i could go either way on this one like it’s really fast but it’s also about cocaine so??? 3/10

tomorrow’s money: while this song slaps overall violent nihilism does not a strip song make 1/10

ambulance: no. 0/10

gun.: antiwar messages are sexy but not the right kind for stripping 1/10

the world is ugly: PLEASE no. 0/10

the light behind your eyes: oh my god this is so DEPRESSING why would you want to strip to this who hurt you -2000000/10

kiss the ring: yes yes yes it’s got built-in audience participation conceit factor if u let ur audience kiss ur ring, totally works 10/10

make room!!!: again, slaps, but not a strip song 1/10

surrender the night: dude we talked about this!!! dying violently w/ ur loved ones is Not Sexy!!! 0/10

burn bright: i guess you could strip to this but again it’s Too Safe tread carefully 3/10

fake your death: i want frank iero to strip to this song so i can throw tomatoes at him for being a LYING SACK OF SHIT FOR TWO YEARS i’m not gonna rate this one but frank if ur out there i have a basket of slightly squishy heirloom tomatoes and i am COMING FOR YOU

#mcr #this is the dumb post idea #i spent like an hour on this lmao

[nettlestonenell]

Armie Hammer wants a sequel to The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—shouldn’t you?

This post is a long time in coming, Gentle Readers and @jammeke​, but now, though it might be here, before your very eyes, to think it will be well-laid out would be a mistake. It’s set to be just about as messy as Ilya’s misplaced loyalties and murky motivations.

How dare!

I probably first watched this film well over a year ago (courtesy @jammeke​ posting things about it). I used Sling OnDemand (I think on TNT). In the ensuing viewings I also watched it in that way, but as I was sitting down for a fourth(?) viewing, it kept coming to me that I was tired of watching it with commercials I couldn’t skip, and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had been edited for time and I was missing out on scenes. [pointless aside: I was also watching the film in chunks, and never as a whole]

Where is she now? What’s the time stamp? How far along did she get? Are you shagging the hotel hostess yet?

So, I, uh, set out to buy it on DVD—without any luck! In the sense that copies I could find cost more (w/ shipping) than buying it to stream. So, I bought it to stream on Amazon. Do I regret my choice, Gentle Readers? No, no I don’t. I do regret burden of knowledge in learning that TNT was already playing the entirety of the film. That was a hard pill to swallow.

Nope, I’ve looked. That’s absolutely everything. Nothing additional lurking around here...

So here it is, as it is, @jammeke, “My Notes on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”

Look, I don’t know what this film is. I probably can’t fully articulate its appeal. Or maybe I can--certainly after transcribing four page I’ve tried. Number One thing to know about me and fiction/films is that a top draw for me is seeing something out of the ordinary, such as beautiful locations, a historical era, delicious costumes. There are times, frankly, this can trump weak story and undefined character for me. (The best films, of course, combine all three) Certainly, The Man... delivers in the delight of the eyes. Additionally, I must confess that growing up as a person older than @reblogginhood​ but younger than Miss Fisher, so much of what was on TV was essentially reruns of this film’s iconic Look(tm). So, when I see women dressed like Gaby I am just another three-to-seven-year-old overcome with the drop dead glamour of it all.

Darling, tell me how you really feel...

Some questions I have:

·         IS Armie Hammer a hulk of a man? Everyone in this film seems to think so, yet he always tracks to me as trim (rather than hulking)

·         Why translate via captions some Russian speaking, but not all?

·         IS Napoleon’s backstory directly cribbed from USA’s White Collar?

·         DOES Gaby have a German accent?

·         Does Ilya get preternaturally attached to all the people he’s ordered to look after? Also, what is his bonding rate with kittens?

Sorry, wrong iteration. 

 ·         If Lady Villain knows the lens is wrong—if her technical understanding is that in-depth--does she really need Gaby’s dad to make the bomb?

·         How old was Gaby during the war?

·         What happens when Ilya gets a NEW puppy assigned to him? (please let this be addressed in film #2)

Hooray for:

·         That bathroom fight! *all the Burn Notice feels!

·         Gaby is her own lady, and chooses sides as necessary—not always unilateral in her support for either male character. Case in point: she sides with Ilya over the clothes, and Napoleon over the incident of the wallet.

·         That delicious (speaking as Rusty, here) Ocean’s 11-stylized action. It’s pretty, so I’m not bored with it. Sometimes a sandwiched montage gets shown, so I’m REALLY not bored. I’ve got 18 tiny moving boxes of things to look at!

·         Pinkie rings. There, you’ve told me everything I need to know about that character.

·         Solo in a beret. English has not yet found a word for the feeling it evoked in this viewer. Somewhere between ‘precious’ and ‘oh, no’.

See, there? Now you’ve felt it too.

·         Goggles! All the accessories! Dune Buggies! (I mean, that’s what I’m calling Napoleon’s chase-scene ride)

Things I adore:

·         It seems (after some research) that more than a few folks view Gaby as a third wheel, and though she’s not exactly a Princess Leia commandeering her own rescue and exuding competence and a deserved take-charge-attitude at every corner, she IS a foci for both male characters (though romantically it would seem only for one), just as Ilya is a foci for both her and Napoleon [no one seems to worry about Napoleon, though they should--film #2, anyone?]

·         Mechanic Gaby not needing a beauty makeover, or being dragged into one. She gets some nice clothes, but it’s never suggested that she’s not attractive or acceptable before putting them on, and I respect, nay, embrace it.

Oh, my heart. She’s still not as tall as them!

·         Ilya, drab pigeon Ilya, knowing fashion

·         Oh man, don’t even get me started on the power of the statement, “it doesn’t have to match”

·         You knew it was coming on this sublist: the wrestle-fight. I mean, c’mon. Poor little Gaby, locked behind the Iron Curtain, living a life of always being watched. She’s in the swankest hotel (I mean, Napoleon chose it, so we can be sure it’s swank with an E). She’s trying to celebrate her freedom, her liberation. She’s playing verboten music, she’s drinking to excess. Girl wants—and deserves—a party. And Ilya is…not built for that (that he knows of). For some fun, just imagine if she had been given Napoleon to room with instead.

                            o   I will say that this scene, and some of their other interactions have what I would call early (non-sibling) Luke and Leia energy. Ilya seems to have moments of being struck by Gaby in a way Luke is struck by Leia in the early part of the trilogy. When Leia takes charge, and Luke accepts it. When Leia does something incredible, and Luke is left open-mouthed. *no, I don’t see OT Star Wars in everything. Shut up.

·         “He fixed the glitch.”

·         Again, shout-out to the non-action action.

·         “I left my jacket in there.”

·         The whole race to rescue Gaby I am in love with beyond words. [I have noted it as “Crazy Jeep Drive with Warhead!”] Probably b/c it comes across as totally egalitarian. Both men want her rescued. They’re no longer in competition. It’s just as important to Napoleon as it is to Ilya to catch up to her. Also, it is bonkers, like some sort of X-games version of a commercial for the vehicles they’re driving. And screaming Willie Scott does not make an appearance.

         Someone says “winkle” out.

·         Look! Another note about the screen divisions and how I love it, shout-outs to the original Steve McQueen The Thomas Crown Affair (a contemporary of when this movie is meant to be set), and TV’s 24.

Things that get a great, big NOPE:

·         Jerrod Harris: you’ve been in so much streamable content in the last decade I can’t hate you, but frankly, you’re terrible here—unless you’re supposed to be giving a mannered, not-campy-enough-to-be-enjoyable performance here. Your American English puts me in the mind of Alex Hawaii 5-0′Loughlin where it feels you’re concentrating so hard on your accent that you fail to convince anyone that you’re a harried, over-worked and exasperated spy handler. Your performance is at odds with every bit of dialogue you’re given to say.

·         That awful, mishandled title that doesn’t even connect to the film until the final moments (a sequel set-up, for sure)

·         Look, you don’t introduce Hugh Grant casually mid-way through your film in a throwaway appearance. I mean, he’s HUGH GRANT we all know something’s up now.

·         This is not exactly a great big NOPE, b/c I love a flat cap, Tommy Shelby—but I feel like a less tall man with a far rounder face in a flat cap would track more as Russian to me that AH does. To me, he just looks like he’s about to go golfing.

Over par? Unacceptable!

·         Is Victoria a British-accented Italian? A British woman who married—what? Gaby’s uncle isn’t Italian!? An Italian who went to school in Britain? My head hurts. Also, is her hair meant to be unconvincingly bleached?

Other commentary:

·         Napoleon’s adult ne’er-do-well backstory is so far from being emotionally equivalent to Ilya’s childhood trauma [and his enslavement to the USSR] it seems bestial when he calls it out on multiple occasions. Badly done, Solo.

·         Gaby is the film’s key (sorry, Buffy fans). Everyone is connected to her. Yes, she could have been given a bit more on the character front, but I don’t see her as as much of a flaw in the film as some others/reviewers seem to.

·         Look, essentially (and not very nuanced-ly), Ilya is a stalker. I think the film goes a certain distance in establishing that his early behavior toward Gaby is not normal, but concurrently it does not truly call him out on it. He’s essentially viewed as an odd-duck, sure, but not a true threat to her (should she not reciprocate or tolerate his intensity toward her). I think I might be able to cite his behavior when Gaby comes on to him (that he doesn’t jump at a chance with her) that maybe he’s given a little more nuance than a straight-on stalker, and it helps that he and Napoleon never get into a pissing match over Gaby’s person, only over her new clothes. But overall the film has to walk a fine line (and the jury is still out on how successful it is, I’d say) between playing Ilya’s laser-like attention to Gaby for its humor, and calling it out for the unsettling, threatening behavior it is.

·         Honestly, it wasn’t until I engaged the Closed Captioning that I understood Napoleon was calling Ilya the ‘Red Peril’. So, that was nearly three viewings in.

·         I give the screen credits A+, on both ends. Not to mention the end credits are actually INTERESTING with lots to see and learn! (Certainly we learn more about HG in them than we do at any time during the film)

Things I would have liked:

·         More of fish-out-of-the-Iron-Curtain Gaby moments

·         A better dichotomy shown of East vs. West Berlin/Germany. There’s nothing easy either visually or otherwise to distinguish the two.

·         HC being given a more specific American accent (from an actual locality). This, for an American viewer, works better than the flat, unlocated American accent many a British actor will bust out. *Mind you, HC does a generally good job, but he fails utterly on both “Immediate” which he pronounces at least twice as “immeedeejt” [rather than imm-E-deeot] and “Nazi” as “NAHT-zee” [rather than “NOT-zee”]. And let’s not get started on that late in the film use of ‘earnt’, a word that—well, it’s just not in the American English twentieth century lexicon.

·         C’mon. You gotta tease the Hugh Grant more.

·         Solo is a blank before the war. I’ve read thoughts on the film calling out Gaby as the blank character, but they’re wrong. Solo is the blank. He’s the ‘made’ man, his identity seemingly assembled during the war and after. For example, he doesn’t go into the war a thief, nor (it would seem) a particularly educated or urbane individual. Now THAT’s a juicy backstory I’d love to learn about, perhaps in film #2--or #3? What creates a Napoleon Solo? What would he be doing if he weren’t on the government’s leash/incarcerated? Is anyone left caring about him back wherever he calls home? I mean, who doesn’t love a gender-flipped 60s-era Holly Golightly backstory? [And yes, I would love there to be an ex-wife or even a current wife mixed up in his origins as well—Guy Ritchie, call me!]

Notes I have that I’m not sure if they still make sense to me:

·         Only mom calls me Napoleon (do he say it ‘mum’?) Is he a secret Canadian?

·         Solo’s torture, 1st view recall Napoleon’s childhood? *I think this means that after watching the first time I somehow erroneously believed that during the torture Napoleon’s childhood was a topic gone over. This was wrong. HOWEVER, this would have made far more story-sense than the backstory we’re given on an easily disposeable villain.

·         “Even the average Russian agent. You’re special.” ?

·         Uncle is Baddie (*so glad I made this note to myself)

·         Ilya’s dad IS an embarrassment. I’m not sure what genius commentary I had in my mind, here. Perhaps that Ilya himself is embarrassed of him? Not just Ilya’s handler’s? [Also, aside: Napoleon totally slut-shames Ilya’s mom, which is the doublest of double standards from ‘I got myself the biggest and most ornate suite b/c I-wanted-plenty-of-space-for-my-random-seductions’ and I really wish Ilya had thrown that back in his face] *yes, of course I know that Ilya and Napoleon would not likely equate a wife/mother’s sexual exploits with that of Solo’s, but let’s be honest, this film tweaks the nose of (I won’t say reverses, it doesn’t go that far) plenty of tropes and gender expectations, and this certainly seems like a missed opportunity to call Solo on the carpet (which I hope film #2 does far more)

Things I wrote down so long ago I don’t recall what they mean:

·         CC-save

In conclusion:

What does film #2 look like? What title does it get? Will the Peter/Neil White Collar dynamic continue to grow? *note that I have no confidence a second film will ever come to pass...

In the end, all I know is, “It didn't help when American Tom Cruise, who was slated to play U.S. spy Napoleon Solo, dropped out, prompting the casting of Cavill (who had previously read for the Russian role).“ I would not have watched that film.

#tmfu #tmfu 2015 #ilya kuryakin #napoleon solo #gaby teller #henry cavill #armie hammer #alicia vikander #the man from uncle 2015 #the man from u.n.c.l.e. #the man from uncle #i don't know what this film's tags are meant to be to keep it from popping up in the TV series searches Sorry

[kingofthewilderwest]

Do you think Mabel gets too much hate? I noticed when a female character acts selfish she gets hated on but when a male character does the same it’s praised

We’re free to love or hate any character with or without reason. That said, I feel sad seeing Mabel hate and agree Mabel receives too much hate. I feel like the rhetoric claiming she’s unforgivably selfish is skewed. I think people have decent criticisms regarding Mabel’s character and how she’s presented. However, I don’t think they sufficiently describe the full picture.

Anecdotally, I don’t think this is a case of sweeping sexism because Ford also receives more criticism than I think warranted. My perspective on how much hate each character proportionately receives could be incomplete, though.

But anyway. Let’s talk Mabel.

First though: please don’t try to debate this with me. If you don’t like my opinion, no worries. That’s chill. I’m just not interested in using my recreation time debating this. Thanks! :) However, if you want further clarifications, analyses, case studies, etc. I’m happy to talk more, because this is NOWHERE close to exhausting my thoughts on this topic.

Mabel’s Selfishness: The General Critique

I think everyday anti-Mabel criticism tends to use points like:

When other characters act selfishly, they’re called out and the narrative punishes them. But when Mabel wants something, she gets it, and it’s a reward (The Deep End, The Time Traveler’s Pig, Escape from Reality).

Mabel never learns how to give up something important and deal with that loss. Even when she lets something go, it’s not something that would have been good in her life. For instance, her failed puppet performance is “dodging a bullet” rather than losing something meaningful, since Gabe’s just a puppet kisser. In the end, she doesn’t have to live with sacrifice (Boyz Crazy, Sock Opera).

Mabel even selfishly causes the apocalypse by giving Bill the rift. She’s never held responsible for that (Dipper and Mabel vs the Future).

The narrative reinforces that Mabel is a good person even when she’s not (The Last Mabelcorn).

People particularly look at Mabel in S2 over S1; many claim that’s when her character began to feel selfish and insufferable. 

This isn’t everything, but I have tried to characterize the rhetoric fairly based upon what I’ve seen.

I find these discussion points understandable. Mabel can be self-focused and sometimes ignores others’ feelings. Alex Hirsch admitted in DVD commentaries that he focused on Dipper learning lessons because he put himself in Dipper’s shoes. And some of Alex’s writing intentions could’ve been clearer, like instances where the twins resolve conflicting desires. We could talk about how the show could be improved or the character is legitimately not-selfless.

At the same time, I think how fandom uses these talking points isn’t 100% fair to Mabel’s character or the show’s full narrative. 

I want to point out that Mabel hate for her selfishness covers two fronts: one claim that Mabel is selfish, and another claim that the surrounding plot doesn’t handle her selfishness satisfactorily. I think there’s fair constructive criticism when it comes to narrative framing (even if I disagree), but I don’t think the same dialogue is good rationale against Mabel’s personality. At times I see the two concepts conflated. The narrative may annoy you if you think selfishness isn’t addressed in plot, and contribute to you disliking the character, but claiming “Mabel is selfish” because of that is flawed logic. 

In this analysis, I’ll cover both fronts. I’ll tackle the four points I mentioned above and explain why I find them too harsh. I’m not going to cover all my thoughts (yes, my original draft was longer!!), but I will argue:

Mabel reverses her selfishness - and that’s the big choice sealing the climax of multiple episodes. She doesn’t get off “consequence free” either (Boyz Crazy, Sock Opera)

Mabel sacrifices for others. The narrative does show that Dipper and Mabel meet in the middle, not that Dipper feels guilty enough to ameliorate his sister’s wishes (Sock Opera, Escape from Reality)

Mabel giving the rift to “Blendin” mirrors Dipper offering a puppet to Bill. Both twins are emotionally compromised and believe they’re making a harmless deal with an inconsequential item. Neither would’ve made these choices in calmer circumstances. Sock Opera doesn’t have Dipper deal with his culpability; relax up on Mabel (Sock Opera, Dipper and Mabel vs the Future)

Mabel’s selfishness is addressed, handled, and resolved. The moral of The Last Mabelcorn isn’t defending Mabel’s goodness; it’s Mabel embracing imperfection. Mabel learns she’s a bad person and changes her perspective of herself multiple times in canon (The Last Mabelcorn, Lost Legends)

I could also have talked about how selfishness isn’t required to be resolved in her character arc, all the times Mabel does nice things for others, how she doesn’t always obnoxiously hog the spotlight, and other things, but I want to cap the length of this essay.

So let’s begin.

Can Mabel learn from selfishness if she’s consequence-free and never handles meaningful loss?

Anti-Mabel Argument: Circumstances don’t adversely affect Mabel. This means she never has to sacrifice for her brother like Dipper does for her. For instance, in Sock Opera, Mabel sees that Gabe is a weirdo over-obsessed with puppets. Her failed puppet performance was “dodging a bullet” rather than losing something meaningful, so she doesn’t learn true self-sacrificial love. Mabel never learns how to give something important up and deal without it. So, she never changes.

Boyz Crazy not only is an episode where the climax is Mabel learning to act against her selfish desires, but it’s got an explicit apology in dialogue. “I’m sorry I went bonkers,” she tells Candy and Grenda. “A catchy song made me realize that you were right. Can you ever forgive me?”

While Mabel has to learn this lesson again in later episodes, it’s to note: most GF characters are fairly static, and Dipper also has to learn multiple times not to hit on Wendy. Character progress doesn’t happen all at once. And in the next episode I’ll talk about, not only does Mabel confront her selfishness, but it’s the last time she lets her boy chasing impact Dipper. It ends after this.

I’m talking Sock Opera.

Mabel’s sacrifice in Sock Opera is big. She doesn’t get off “consequence free.” She decides to sabotage her performance before knowing Gabe’s a weirdo. Mabel is fully willing to lose her most viable romance option… for Dipper. She realizes her brother would be willing to give something up for her, and she’s going to reciprocate by giving up something big for him. 

Mabel might’ve dodged the bullet of dating Gabe, but she still gives up something big and will feel it. Sure, she makes the puppet show to impress Gabe. But she’s also entertaining a full audience. She can feel the people booing her, see them storming out and leaving. Mabel is someone who wants everyone happy, so much that seeing everyone happy except Robbie puts her in Crisis Mode. I don’t know about you, but just because I saw some guy kissing puppets, I wouldn’t think, “Yay! I had a happy outcome to this play ordeal!”

Mabel VERY much says, in the dialogue, that her brother would give up something big for her. And that’s what her Big Choice comes down to. Every episode climax in Gravity Falls comes down to The Big Choice. Here, Mabel’s Big Choice… is to sacrificially watch her hard work burst into literal flames.

Mabel apologizes to her brother, “I’m sorry, Dipper. I spent all week obsessing over a dumb guy. But the dumb guy I should have cared about was you.”

In following episodes, Mabel does put Dipper in mind. She gets momentarily distracted by crushes in The Love God, but that’s in a quest to solve her own mistake - a mistake that came from trying to make everyone, from Robbie to Thompson to Dipper, happy. She wants to include Dipper, from the Ducktective finale to her birthday party planning mission. And if you’re focusing on how she teases Dipper, why aren’t you also targeting Stan, who makes the same action without change?

Mabel Hate rhetoric focuses on how Bill was “right” in Sock Opera and she still acts selfishly in the same patterns after that episode. But, the climax is Mabel resisting Bill and demonstrating self-sacrifice, and that arguably does influence her character afterwards. It’s one step in an incomplete process. She might not be ready to handle Dipper separating off with Ford, but that’s because her arc still isn’t completed.

We do see Mabel dealing with meaningful loss like the collapse of her puppet show. She does show sacrificial love for her brother. And, as I’ll talk about more, she continues to grapple with and grow in selflessness through later decisions like Escape Through Reality.

Does Mabel ever realize she’s a bad person?

Anti-Mabel Argument: Narrative reinforces Mabel is a good person even when she’s not. Alex Hirsch wrote with rose-tinted bias because Mabel represents Alex’s twin sister. The Last Mabelcorn showcases that. Instead of Mabel learning she’s a bad person who can’t receive a unicorn’s blessing… the unicorn’s criticisms against Mabel get nullified – the creature’s lying about Mabel’s impure heart. Mabel got affirmed for who she was rather than dealing with her imperfection.

First off: if you haven’t watched the DVD commentary for The Last Mabelcorn, you should. It’s a wild story how this episode got made. Alex Hirsch trashed the script of an entire episode 48 hours before it was due. He crunched to write a new episode - by himself - from scratch. So yeah. A few lines of final dialogue could’ve been tweaked to improve the message, but the fact he wrote as successful an episode as he did in that short of time is incredible. And the message of The Last Mabelcorn is there:

Mabel learns she’s an *IMPERFECT* person. She embraces being imperfect instead of groveling for impossible perfection and meaningless approval.

Maybe that’s not the “Mabel learns selflessness!” episode you wanted, but this is a fascinating lesson, and one I don’t see touted tons in media. I love it.

Mabel spends the episode attempting to be pure of heart through kind deeds. Wendy tells Mabel they should solve their problem the dirty way. Mabel keeps refusing until the unicorns anger her. This is the moment of triumph: she punches a unicorn. Mabel forsakes the route of “pure” good deeds to do what she first considered dirty. That’s the hero moment, dudes! 

Mabel says the unicorns are “worse” than her, not that she’s good and they’re bad. Mabel comes out of the adventure declaring, “Today I learned morality is relative.” That’s because the episode’s climactic Big Choice isn’t about Mabel accepting she’s a “pure” person; it’s about Mabel accepting she can make “impure” choices.

Ford is the person at the end who tries to tell Mabel she’s good. But Mabel contradicts what he says with that “morality is relative” quote. What she takes away is that she’s imperfect, she can make non-sparkly-decisions, and that’s okay. She’s become more aware of herself and her flaws, but also accepts she can make choices others might shake their heads at. 

So. Ford and Wendy might’ve called Mabel “a good person” in key parts of the episode, which is why I say Alex (not in a time crunch) could’ve considered tweaking lines to make the point clearer. But I don’t think the episode depicts Mabel as a selfish jerk who never learns her flaws.

And frankly? If I had to choose between a standard “you’re not perfect” episode and this? I’d MUCH rather have this, where characters learn lessons, but we also get the show’s humorous, slightly subversive, slightly truthful “anti-morality.” That’s a Gravity Falls thing, after all. (For other anti-morality examples: Stan saying Summerween is about celebrating “pure evil,” Mabel deciding it’s good to lie so Stan doesn’t get arrested, Mabel deciding being an asshole to employees is productive, etc.)

So yes, Mabel realizes she’s a bad person, even if it’s not in the way you expected. And that’s still not the end of her character arc. 

Does Mabel ever sacrifice for others Dipper?

Argument: Mabel only agrees to leave her bubble after Dipper promises to drop Ford’s apprenticeship. This apprenticeship would have been huge for Dipper. But all Mabel “sacrifices” is leaving a fake world she’s hiding in, goofing around instead of helping people in literal Armageddon. 

Much of Mabel and Dipper’s relationship is about how they’re opposites. We repeatedly see the best place for both of them is the middle. Alex Hirsch talks about this tons. Whether it’s perfectly implemented is a debate for another day. I do think these concepts can be seen even in episodes like Escape From Reality where there’s been criticism of narrative execution.

I’ve seen people say Mabel “gets her way” because Dipper turns down Ford’s apprenticeship when he sees it makes her sad. Hirsch has said in commentaries Dipper was making a mistake wanting the apprenticeship. Mabel wants to avoid growing up while Dipper wants to grow up too fast.

We don’t have to take Hirsch’s word-of-god for it: the story does show that Dipper was erring with the apprenticeship. Ford intends well, but his bias against siblinghood means he’s polluting Dipper’s values. He suggests that Dipper staying with Mabel is “suffocating.” He suggests that Dipper is “greater” and should be doing something with it. “Dipper, can you honestly tell me you never felt like you were meant for something more?” And later: “Listen to me, Dipper: this town is a magnet for things that are special. And that includes you and me. It brought both of us here for a purpose! Stay here with me, Dipper. Become my apprentice. Don’t let anyone hold you [back].”

When Mabel and Dipper make resolutions in Mabel Land, Dipper says he’ll drop the apprenticeship. This emotionally touches Mabel. But being emotionally touched doesn’t mean that’s WHY she makes amends with her brother. Instead, Mabel reassures him that he can take the apprenticeship if he wants. She leaves the choice up to him and is willing to let him live in another state during their teen years. She finds his needs and desires important.

And honestly? It’s Dipper himself who realizes the apprenticeship is bogus; it’s not because Mabel is forcing her brother to change. “Mabel, I thought you were living a fantasy, but look at me! I actually thought I was gonna stay here and be Ford’s apprentice. Spend my entire teens cooped up in a basement with a lab coat? How ridiculous is that?” He sheds the idea because he realizes it’s a bad one, not because he’s ameliorating someone too selfish to accept her brother leaving her.

It’s also to note Mabel Land tempts everyone. Calling only Mabel selfish when everyone else gets pulled in… seems incorrect. Bill considers it a diabolical, inescapable prison. People like Soos, Wendy, and Dipper who know it’s a prison get drawn to Mabel Land’s temptations. Heck, Dipper gets tempted with an old vice. He might have grown more mature, but that doesn’t mean he can’t trip occasionally (we can apply the same understanding to Mabel and “selfishness,” by the way - someone can both grow and keep tripping). Mabel, meanwhile, wants to use the bubble to help and comfort her visiting friends (which is, for the record, not selfish) and thinks reality should be avoided because both her and Dipper’s lives have been adversely affected. Dipper’s pain is important, too. Mabel has been in this prison longer than Soos, Wendy, and Dipper, and the prison was designed for her - ergo she’s going to be more manipulated by it. Lots of her actions are avoidance tactics because she’s scared of growing up, yes. The court trial is a lot, yes. But we should bear in mind that this is a child scared of growing up and feeling the burn of conflict with her brother. Emotional and psychological context is important. We all get vulnerable. Do our lowest lows define our entire personality?

When Dipper and Mabel make their compromise, both reject temptations. Dipper rejects a bad apprenticeship; Mabel rejects a bad reality. They offer each other solutions where they don’t get what they originally want. They meet in the middle, and this is the best way for both to move forward in the aging process. They’re both satisfied and confident with their choice. It’s not Dipper giving up everything for Mabel, ameliorating her because she’s sad. It’s about the twins learning they can make it through life together, through thick and thin.

Potentially muddled thematic framing does not erase the resolution the twins make. It does not erase that Mabel’s depicted as someone willing to give up major things for her brother.

Okay. But that rift thing. How can you excuse the APOCALYPSE??? JUST TO HAVE MORE SUMMER!?!

The point is that Mabel is emotionally compromised and outmanipulated.

She’s a terrified twelve year old going through a Very Rough Day. She’s terrified about the future, she’s learned bad news after bad news, and she’s afraid her life as she knows it will be wrenched apart. It feels like everything she loves - from her best friends to her brother - will be distanced from her. 

Would you have handled this well as a kid? Adults have issues with this, too.

When she meets “Blendin,” she’s told that trading one inconsequential item will save her future. It’s self-focused, but it’s important to understand: she wouldn’t have made this choice in calmer emotional states.

Compare this to Dipper making a deal with Bill in Sock Opera. The twins literally make the same mistake for the same reasons, duped by the same villain.

Dipper: Decides to give Bill one of Mabel’s belongings, a puppet, without her knowledge. Mabel: Decides to give Bill one of Dipper’s backpack items without his knowledge. 

Dipper: Irritated with Mabel because she isn’t helping unlock the laptop.Mabel: Frustrated with Dipper because it feels like he’s abandoning her to be “special” with Ford. 

Dipper: This is an inconsequential bargain. Bill is just unlocking the laptop. He’s just taking a sock puppet - Mabel has plenty of those.Mabel: Nothing bad will happen. Just a few more weeks of summer. And she’s giving an item Ford allegedly won’t notice is missing.

Dipper: The laptop counter is ticking. Only a matter of minutes before the data gets erased.Mabel: Summer is ending in a week. Separation from Dipper is imminent. 

Dipper: Not thinking clearly due to sleep deprivation.Mabel: Not thinking clearly, emotionally compromised from a walloping bad day.

Hirsch and company have confirmed that only this combination of factors convinced Dipper to make a deal with a demon. Mabel wouldn’t have shook “Blendin’s” hand in less severe circumstances. It’s ironic that, in Sock Opera and Dipper and Mabel vs the Future, rhetoric attacks Mabel in both episodes.

So yes, Mabel gave Bill the rift. But yes, Dipper jeopardized the town’s safety by letting Bill into his body.

I know that, at this point, people might argue there’s a narrative difference. Dipper learned from his mistake but Mabel didn’t. However, I disagree. There wasn’t dialogue in Sock Opera where Dipper explicitly confronts his transgression and works it out with Mabel on screen. Same thing with Mabel and the rift. I know fans wanted it addressed that Mabel started the apocalypse… and frankly I would’ve enjoyed that too… but it doesn’t make Mabel’s writing as a character suddenly, “OH NO SELFISH SELFISH! AND THE NARRATIVE IS LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH BEING SELFISH!”

It’s no different than how writing handles Dipper in Sock Opera. And again, give a terrified kid a break instead of calling a large emotional low “irrevocably selfish.”

By the time Take Back the Falls comes around, Mabel encourages everyone to work together to fight Bill. Mabel risks her life to save the town and her family. Mabel works together with Dipper and puts the people she loves first.

Lost Legends: Fixing remaining narrative holes

After S2 ended, Mabel’s selfishness is head on tackled. That’s the ENTIRE point of Don’t Dimension It in Lost Legends. I suspect Alex Hirsch read Mabel criticism and intentionally reacted through Lost Legends. In this story, Mabel acts out of self-focused energy and doesn’t realize her actions have negative consequences to others. It puts the Pines family in an interdimensional conundrum. Once Mabel runs into other Mabels from other dimensions, she comes to terms that she’s self-absorbed and needs to be attuned to how others feel. Mabel realizes she put everyone in this mess. She apologizes to her family and resolves to be better.

It’s great.

I’ve still seen people criticize it. And that’s where I think Mabel hate rhetoric definitely goes too far. I suspect there’s bias in how people responded to that comic. By the time Lost Legends came out, criticisms for selfish Mabel were rampant and people were set in their perspectives, so seeing a character arc about Mabel’s selfishness got unfairly nitpicky responses. 

I’ve seen people say things like, “Well, she only learns when she interacts with herself, not with others!” But that’s a cool way of presenting story! Mabel sees herself in a literal mirror and takes away truth. Sometimes we don’t see our flaws until it’s right in our faces. This is Mabel’s in-the-face moment. The “I’m selfish” revelation doesn’t have to be with Dipper to be relevant toward how she treats Dipper. She takes away the full lesson she’s self-absorbed and needs to fix that. She immediately makes sure to talk to Dipper about becoming a better person. She owns responsibility toward how she’s treated her brother - and mentions the entire summer as the scope of her fault.

“I’m sorry for being selfish this summer,” the comic ends. “I guess it took me dealing with myself to realize what you put up with. It’s time for us to start some new adventures! And this time I won’t always hog the spotlight.”

There are other criticisms about Lost Legends, which I feel boil down to “I don’t know, still doesn’t satisfy me, not enough.” It makes me wonder what would get people satisfied. Does every possible angle of how someone could learn selfishness have to be covered thoroughly? No franchise can cover that scope. Isn’t there still lots of takeaway with Mabel? Don’t Dimension It alone is an episode’s worth of material, the same amount of content which most fans deemed enough to wrap up Dipper getting over Wendy, Pacifica being a brat, and Gideon being creepy on Mabel.

Mabel’s selfishness gets addressed, multiple times, and gets a final-final resolution in the comics.

Final Thoughts

I think it’s an interesting point you make, anon friend, that male characters get praised while women get condemned. I haven’t talked about gender aspects or other selfishly-acting male characters like Stanley (whose selfishness people perceive as lovable). I said earlier I don’t think it’s rampant fandom sexism, but there still could be a point there. Maybe you’re right it’s a factor. It wouldn’t be the first time gender perception’s done that.

I think there’s also point to be made that Dipper is the protagonist. Mabel’s a deuteragonist. It’s more common to write life lessons for the protagonist. That’s fine. Dipper learning more lessons than Mabel and Dipper giving up a little more than Mabel is a result of being a protagonist, not narrative excusing Mabel for her flaws or letting her waltz around scott free.

So yeah. I think Mabel’s gotten too much criticism for that flaw. Constructive criticism is almost always interesting in fandom dialogue, but rampant hate movements make me sad. Talking about how narrative structure could’ve been improved I find cool; pinning it on the character’s humanity bothers me. I think lots of the dialogue turns into criticizing Mabel unfairly as a person, and given as other GF characters have glaring flaws, it feels imbalanced and uncomfortable that SHE gets disproportionate attacks. 

This is Mabel we’re talking about. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she tries to rescue Mermando when that means she’ll never see him again. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she knits everyone sweaters during the Apocalypse. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she calls out Dipper when he’s leading on Candy. Mabel Pines, who risks her life in multiple daring moves to save the town, parachuting through the sky into the demon’s lair… acting as a decoy to distract Bill Cipher… and more. Mabel Pines, who spends an entire episode trying to make everyone happy, down to Robbie, whom everyone else didn’t care enough about (but Mabel did!!!). Mabel Pines, who encourages Soos to date women and find a romantic connection he’s satisfied with. Mabel Pines, who fights in Globnar and risks her life, just so Soos can have a happy birthday and forget about his dad. Mabel Pines, who decides it’s better to be friends with her enemy Pacifica than fight petty battles. Mabel Pines, whose love for her brother helps even the thirty year rift between Stan and Ford mend. Mabel, who couldn’t give up on Stan and found a way to restore his memories when all others thought it lost. Mabel. Fucking. Pines!

#Anonymous #Mabel #GF #Gravity Falls #long post #Mabel Pines #analysis #my analysis #awesome anonymous friend #ask #ask me #non-dragons #hopefully this all makes sense #also sorry this took a loooong time to respond to #Boyz Crazy #Sock Opera #Weirdmageddon 2: Escape From Reality #Escape From Reality #Dipper and Mabel vs the Future #The Last Mabelcorn #Lost Legends

[tyrantisterror]

IT ENDS TODAY!  THE FINAL SEVEN ENTRIES ARE HERE!  HUZZAH!

Our first monster today is @bonelessnerd‘s island monster, Nogad.  There were a couple of attempts to take the mythological concept of “an island that is also a monster” and give it an Atom Age revampe for this contest, but Nogad went the extra mile and also worked in a reference to The Fantastic Voyage and other “people shrink down and experience the terrors of life at a very small size” movies that coexisted with the kaiju films ATOM pays homage to.  Massive even for a kaiju, Nogad is a brain-dead, comatose creature whose internal organs are an ecosystem all their own - and one that people actually end up exploring!  That’s right, he’s a literal Monster Island.  I had no idea what the rest of Nogad’s body was supposed to look like (his original picture cuts off at the waist), so I tried to keep it as taxonomically dubious as possible.

@polygonfighter‘s tar skeleton monster Index (original entry here) is next on our list.  There were a few different attempts at giving ATOM a blob monster (I suppose the Writhing Flesh’s features are too well defined for it to count), and Index mixed the whole “living tar monster” concept (a well known variant of the blob monster archetype) with a cool grim reaper motiff, giving ATOM a nice ghost kaiju in addition to a blob.  And yes, Index is literally a ghost in the ATOM interpretation of its bio - ectoplasm and all.

Torgong (original entry here) by SirKaijuofVaudeville is our next entry.  Like other entries in the contest, Torgong’s bio homages other prominent trends in atomic age monster fiction that ATOM otherwise overlooked - specifically the idea of “mole people” (which I suppose ATOM kinda skirts close to with the Reptodites but doesn’t fully embrace), ancient civilizations, giant monster god worship, and human sacrifice.  There are also some neat ties to ATOM’s hints that aliens might have experimented with hybridizing terrestrial fauna - Torgong may be Mothmanud’s kin by way of genetic modification!  Also he’s a big gnarly rock dog man, and that’s pretty rad.

Cervere (original entry here) by @scatha5 is our next monster, and a particularly bonkers one at that: he’s a big smelly cat.  Like, super smelly.  Sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a bad way, depending on what kind of smells you appreciate.  Powerful odors aren’t tied to felines all that often, but considering how often they rub or spray their fluids on things to mark their territory, it makes a lot of sense.  Cervere’s color scheme is also pretty rad - I particularly love that punk rock purple crest of hair.  All in all, a good smelly cat.

@cstalli‘s beautiful flower fairies, the Trifitan Arum (original entry here), are our next monster, though calling them monsters might be a bit slanderous.  They reproduce rapidly, sure, but their effect on the environment is nothing but beneficial, and they’re completely non-malicious so long as their gardens are protected.  I’m a sucker for heroic monsters, especially ones that are environmentalists, and I’m also a sucker for the idea of plant people, so these fairies are pretty fuckin’ awesome on a lot of levels to me.

Our penultimate monster is @profcene‘s well meaning amphibious hyena, Gevlek (original entry here)!  Taking ATOM’s design themes to heart, Gevlek uses a traditionally “evil” animal as a base and builds a really sympathetic and benevolent personality for it, making a lovable scavenger whose desire for friendship is hampered by his own social awkwardness.  It’s ok, Gevlek, you’re in good company.  There are a lot of cool little design details that make Gevlek more than JUST big hyena, from the giraffe-like horns to his slightly sea-monstery dorsal fin and lizardy tail.  He’s a good boy.

Our final monster is @ask-drakos‘s enormous blackbird, Okhalee (original entry here)!  After tons of weird prehistoric, flightless, and/or vampiric birds, it’s kind of nice to get one that’s basically just a big normal bird with a few extra claws and wattles.  Okhalee has a fun personality too, having been the result of a sudden kaiju-fication and thus retaining all the aggressive territoriality of his much smaller kin.  He’s one of those “heroic to humans because he does not tolerate other monsters” style kaiju - an asshole to other giant monsters, but a protector to the tiny mammals living in his territory.

And that’s it!  No more files!  However, there are a few prizes left for me to give to our Grand Winners, so check out after the cut, won’t you?

I’ve said it a lot already, but picking winners for this contest was tough.  So many quality monsters were submitted that I couldn’t narrow anything down - there were just too many good concepts out there!  I’ve also said before that I’d like to one day make files for EVERY KAIJU ENTERED.  I have no idea if I’ll ever reach that goal - I have a lot of other projects to do - but I really cannot overstate how much I love all the monsters you guys made!

That said, if you recall the original contest posting all those months ago, I did say there would be a Grand Prize Winner for the person who went above and beyond.  Narrowing it down to just one winner proved to be impossible (just as narrowing down the entries to just five kaiju files proved to be impossible), but at the same time, there were a few people whose multiple entries wowed me so consistently that I had to take notice.  These people didn’t just make choosing a few kaiju out of twenty seven entrant’s lineups hard - they made it hard to choose a single winning entry from their entire offering.

Or, more simply, they made a new criteria for the Grand Prize Winner: “Which person made it almost impossible to choose which monster of their lineup was the best?”

Everyone made excellent monsters, of course, and I love every monster submitted, but with most people who made multiple entries you could tell there was one they had thought through just a bit more than the others - one that shined the brightest from their bunch.  But a few entrants bucked that trend and produced a whole slew of well thought out and creative creatures.  These entrants are our Grand Prize Winners:

@cerothenull

@canadian-tuxedo-mask

@akitymh

@quinnred

@bonelessnerd

As per the rules of the contest, you five get the grand prize of Forcing Me to Watch and Liveblog a Movie of Your Choice Provided It Is 1. Legally Available In the USA At A Reasonable Price and 2. Not a Porno.  That, uh, probably seems underwhelming after getting a kaiju file, but I didn’t plan on giving a kaiju file to everyone so uh, there we are I suppose.

I cannot thank you all enough - not just the grand prize winners, but every single one of you who entered this contest!  You made a whole pantheon of wonderful, wild, and weird  monsters for the whole world to enjoy, and in particular you made me very happy!  I hope to hold another contest like this in the future - and if I do, I hope to see every one of you among the entrants!  Thank you all again!

#Nogad #Index #Torgong #Cervere #Trifitan Arum #Gevlek #Okhalee #Atomic Time of Monsters #ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest #kaiju #bonelessnerd #polygonfighter #scatha5 #cstalli #profcene #ask-drakos

[insidethemindofk]

A Feeling Words Can’t Describe

Well Hello There!

To whoever is reading this, welcome to my blog!  —

In this blog post, I will attempt to put into words how I am feeling right now, and how life as changed drastically since the start of the pandemic. I have been taken on a rollercoaster, but now I think it can try to put it into words.

WARNING: Mention of suicidal thoughts.

Wow.

We’ve really been living through a pandemic for a little over a year now. Just to say those words out loud is absolutely bonkers to me.

Overwhelming is one of the many words I would use to describe how life has been for the past year. With the violence, constant death, worry and oh yeah— can’t forget to mention the dangerous air-borne virus that is the root cause of all this pain and misery.

But above all, we are just expected to ‘keep it pushing’ and live our lives with the same sense of normalcy as before. This asks the question, what even is normal, anymore? I feel as though I’ve long forgotten what that version of my life was like, as the next version continues to take over. 

Because how can life ever be normal again, when the threat of a virus surrounds you every, single, day?

Though I feel like life will always throw some challenges at you, to help you grow and maybe even change who you are as a person — putting a pandemic on top of that seems to have sped up the process for me.

When this entire thing started, I was in the final days of being an eighteen year old, then having a pandemic birthday while in lockdown. Now, I’m twenty. Entering an entirely new decade, while still limiting how often I go outside and see people. Well, as much as possible that it.

I remember in the beginning, when we were only in lockdown for two months (not a year, as some people claim to think..) I swear to you I was losing my ever lasting mind every. day. If it wasn’t for my dogs needing to be taken on walks, I probably would have never left my house at all. I was struck by the fear of dying before I was old enough to drink (legally), that tied with seeing the death toll rise day by day. It was one of the scariest sights to live through in my young life.

Next thing you know, they opened the doors again, and if I’m being quite honest, any chance to contain the virus in the states and move forward, pretty much went out the window.

Out of fear, and maybe a bit of common sense, I still chose to stay home for a while longer. Even when I did decide to see people again, I did my best to do so in safe parameters. I really thought I was doing a good thing as if COVID-19 had suddenly disappeared just because it was summer. Good on me huh.

Simultaneously to my new reality, that of others hadn’t changed much at all. The parties continued with no mask in sight, and as the number of positive cases rose, for most life moved forward. 

With numerous deaths, evictions, protests, job losses and so much more; I think I was just so surprised that these daily occurrences didn’t seems to phase many people at all. Like man, people are dying! How can you not care at all?

Between anti-maskers, anti-vaxxers, and the number of people not giving a damn continuing to grow; to this day I am still confused. 

Not to mention all of this was taking a BIG toll on my mental health, on top of the many things that I was already struggling with. To be quite honest, I don’t think I noticed just how severe it was until school started back up again. Online school was already beating my ass when our ‘extended spring break’ ended, but it was a new battle come September 2020. For some reason, I thought it would be a smart idea to take more than fifteen credits of fully online. Throw in getting a job, and other life problems — I was basically doomed from the start.

If I wasn’t sad everyday, and crying on others, I was seriously thinking about to many ways that I could just leave this earth. Not a day went by where I didn’t feel like this. Granted, I had been burdened with this daily feeling for years now, but it had only gotten worse since the shitty year that was 2020.

The worse part, I felt like I could barley keep my head above water. I wanted to just drown, because not many would notice that I would be gone, submerged under water as I sink down to the bottom of an abyss.

Lucky for me, I did reach out for help. Though it ain’t no cure, it is surely better then sitting in your dark thoughts alone; and I am so glad I took that step because I am all the better for it.

Time passed, and I did have some positive moments. I got my motorcycle license, finally finished that dreadful semester and filled a void, which was working which children — something that I enjoy greatly.

When new year’s eve came around, I was more than happy to put this painful year behind me. I had gone through a great deal of things, most of which I did not think I would be able to survive! But I did, may not feel like much but I made it through. Now, I knew all of my problems would not disappear when the clock struck 12, but when 2021 began for the first time in my life I felt something that I have truly never felt before.

Optimistic.

Like baby, I’m a natural born pessimist. So when optimism and positivity started to take over, I let it. Welcoming it with open arms. Ever since we had to stay in our homes a year ago, I already knew that life would never be the same. But if I’m gonna be stuck inside for the majority of the time, I might as well enjoy it.

To be quite honest, the entire month of January was a great month for me (which has never happened.) I’m usually lucky if I have a good couple of days, but an entire month?! That was something else. Yeah, I had a few bumps along the way but I didn’t let those small things ruin my life.

A big part of bringing in the new year for me was trying to change my mindset, and how I view life. Not saying it is the end all be all of my problems, but overall I did feel generally happier because of it. Then February/March hit and definitely reminded me that life’s a bitch. 

But now, it’s Aries season (yeah!), spring has sprung and my birthday month has officially begun. I’m feelin’ good, but maybe entering a new decade does that to you. Hell if I know.

Throughout the course of this pandemic I have gone through a whirlwind of emotions and situations that have challenged me, broke me all the way down and brought me back up. I have gone through so many versions of myself to get to the stage that I am currently at. Despite the fact that it was rough as fuck, I would not change anything. 

Everyday, I am loving the person that I am becoming. I am not the same person I was last week, last month, and sure as hell not a year ago! It’s really turned out to be a good thing.

I have realized that I am always growing, constantly evolving and changing day after day after day. I am learning to embrace this truth, and to stand in it. To spend more time with myself, doing the things that I love to do. Focusing on achieving my goals and making my dreams a reality. Because no one is going to do it for me, so I might as well get off my ass and do it for myself.

Life’s a bitch, I said it once and I’ll say it again. Not everyday is going to be a walk in the park, but just because this is a fact, doesn’t mean you have to settle for it.

“Neva settle!”

This life is OURS and it belongs to US. It will be what we make of it and that much, I do believe in. 

I cannot predict the future but I do know that I will — I WILL! have a good life whatever that personally looks like to me. 

Seize the day! or whatever they said. But when it comes to the smaller things (hell maybe even the big ones too), only worry about what is in your control. 

#thank #you #in #advance #feelings #pandemic #jesus man #neva settle! #optimism #april #9th #2021 #april 9th 2021

[fmservers]

The best and worst April Fools’ jokes from around the web

The tech world sure does love a good prank.

While some sat out on April Fools’, a number of big tech companies embraced the opportunity to waste time this way.

So without any further ado, here are the April Fools’ pranks from around the web:

The good

1) Google Tulip

Google Tulip, in my humble opinion, is Google’s best April Fools’ joke this year. It’s a product that lets you communicate with tulips (they’re making progress with cacti, which just want to be left alone, it would appear).

The premise itself is par for the course on April Fools’ day — the perfect mix of mildly plausible and “but why?” — but a few of the comedic touches on the video really make this prank shine.

If the bit at the :54 mark doesn’t tickle you, then I fully respect your opinion but we are very different people and I doubt we could ever be real friends.

  2) Shutterstock stock IRL

This happens to be one of my favorite April Fools’ jokes from a tech company this year. Shutterstock is unveiling ‘plans’ to build the world’s largest physical library, called stock IRL, which would host “shelves upon shelves upon shelves” of stock photos, watermarked videos and music tracks.

Best line: “Because sometimes innovation means moving backwards.”

Sometimes, the idea itself can be an obvious prank as long as it’s executed well. It doesn’t hurt that Shutterstock does a pretty solid job marketing its actual product here, either.

  3) Spotify Discocover Weekly

Spotify’s April fools prank is pretty good tho pic.twitter.com/yTSdvzJdtS

— Christopher Mims (@mims) April 1, 2019

This one is elegant and delightful. Spotify has transformed your Discover Weekly playlist to feature disco hits, or disco takes on non-disco hits. I’ve been listening to mine this morning and it’s solid. Oh, and the playlist is called Discocover Weekly.

Lovely.

  4) Duolingo Push

The best way to learn a language is to practice every day. So Duolingo is introducing a more effective way to remind you with Duolingo Push.

“We’re taking push notifications out of your phone and into the real world! Duo the Owl will literally show up to remind you to practice. It’s the green-glove treatment you’ve always wanted.”

  5) Google Maps Snake

If this is a prank, it’s an incredibly generous and sweet prank that never hurt anyone. Google has put the classic Snakes game into the Google Maps app, for both iOS and Android, as well as on a standalone site for folks who don’t have the app.

It’s fun and simple and makes me wonder why this nostalgic little Easter Egg can’t live in the Google Maps app forever and for always.

(I died for that ^^ screenshot. You’re welcome.)

  6) ProductHunt IPO

ProductHunt joked that it’s going public simply as a result of peer pressure. It also highlighted some of the April Fools’ pranks coming through on its own platform, including a SideDoor into college admission and a monstrous USB hub.

7) Waymo Pet

It’s exactly what you think it is. Waymo Pet is an autonomous car service exclusively for pets. The real beauty in this April Fools’ joke is in the details — the idea of Waymo employees overthinking the interior of a car based on the type of pet that may be riding in it is relatively humorous.

Best line: “Research shows us that cats love laser pointers.”

  The not so good

1) Adobe Capture

Adobe wonders what would happen if designers could spark a memory through the smell of a particular ad or logo. Heralding the arrival of this hellscape is Adobe Capture, which uses Adobe Scent-sei technology to give users the ability to capture scents in the real world (through the camera?) and preview scents via the phone’s charging port.

Don’t shoot the messenger. It gets both better and worse from here.

  2) General Cat-A-List

General Catalyst has spruced up their landing page with loads of cat gifs, powered by Giphy. Yes, General Catalyst is an investor in Giphy.

“We took this process seriously. To best convey that we sit at the cutting edge of all things new, bright and shiny, we spitballed our way through design-thinking sessions and administered Rorschach tests across the firm. We concluded that our brand should land at the intersection of tech + fun. What could illustrate tech-enabled fun better than the cat gif?”

  3) Google Files Screen Cleaner:

Google is adding a new Screen Cleaner feature to the Files app. To clean it from the inside out. According to the video, the features uses “a smudge detector API” to identify imperfections, along with” geometric dirt models” and a “haptic micromovement generator” to sh-sh-shake it off.

And because they already committed, the team at Google decided to double down and say that the Screen Cleaner also uses micro vibrations to create a non-stick shield around your phone. Cause why not?

    4) NVIDIA GeForce RTX R.O.N.

The NVIDIA GeForce RON AI personal assistant, as the name might suggest, is a classic case of too many pranky ideas coming to fruition at once.

The Echo-like device (but also with a holographic display, for some reason) offers in-game coaching (insults), a rage converter (which translates your screamed profanities into words of encouragement for your inept teammates), and the Troll Destroyer (using internet-sourced facts to take down trolls on forums). Those are just a few of the features of the RON AI personal assistant, which feels a bit too bonkers to be funny.

“A” for effort, though.

  5) 1Password

1Password just went for it today with the introduction of the 1Password Password Book, which is just a journal where you write down your passwords.

The landing page touts the book’s features, vacillating between pros and cons like “It’s Super Private” and “You can share your passwords.” Of course, analog password storage isn’t the worst way to store your passwords, especially if those passwords are strong in the first place and you’re keeping your Password Book in a safe place.

Alas, the Password Book is just a prank.

  6) OnePlus Warp Car

The OnePlus #WarpCar is coming. Are you ready to say goodbye to gasoline? #NeverSettle

— OnePlus (@oneplus) April 1, 2019

For years, rumors swirled that Apple might be working on a car. For April Fools’, the smartphone newcomer OnePlus teased an upcoming electric vehicle called the OnePlus Warp.

Shrug.

  7) Razr Ping

Gaming hardware company Razr took some inspiration from Apex Legends, the hottest new game on the market. Razr Ping hypothetically lets people ping real-world objects with their smartphone, similar to the non-verbal comms system in Apex Legends.

Low-key, though, that comms system may very well be the exemplar for other games and even non-gaming platforms. Just not in the way Razr imagines here, obviously.

  8) Roblox Console

I’m not entirely sure what Roblox is doing here with the introduction of the first Roblox gaming console, offering “a new way to make your dreams a reality in stunning, 8K ultra-high definition graphics and at greater than 120 frames per second.”

“Deep underground in a secret laboratory, our engineers developed a groundbreaking processor that could distill imagination into a concentrated source of infinite energy,” reads the blog post. “That energy is what fuels the unbelievable technology in Robox.”

If it’s supposed to be funny, I don’t get it.

9) Roku PressPaws Remote

According to Roku, 72 percent of their users said they thought their dogs would enjoy TV more if they could control what’s on. Thus, the PressPaws Remote.

“This paws-specific remote could be a huge untapped market for us,” says Lloyd Klarke, director of product management for the Roku Pet Division. The remote has shortcut buttons shaped like paws, because the buttons are the only real barrier between a dog’s ability to master the TV remote.

  10) SodastreamME

And then there’s such a thing as trying too hard. Sodastream presents the SodasteamME, which was built in partnership with astronaut Scott Kelly and allows folks to power their Sodastream with their own burps.

We may never know why.

  11) Stack Overflow

StackOverflow also went for a simple prank, taking the entire website back to the early days o the internet, complete with Comic Sans typeface. It’s jarring. You can check it out here.

12) Tinder Height Verification Badge

Introducing the thing you never asked for, but definitely always wanted—Tinder Height Verification. Coming soon. Read more about it here: https://t.co/8MER0L1U6W pic.twitter.com/hZ507zSoic

— Tinder (@Tinder) March 29, 2019

It’s funny because it’s true? On March 29, Tinder teased a new Height Verification Badge (HVB), which would force users to verify their age by taking a photo of themselves standing next to any commercial building. Remember, this is three full days before April 1.

The blog post has at least one typo, and some questionable language. (Exhibit A: “Did it ever occur to you that honesty is what separates humans from sinister monsters? Of course not.”) There is also, however, some hint of truth. (Exhibit B: “Only 14.5% of the U.S. male population is actually 6’ and beyond. So, we’re expecting to see a huge decline in the 80% of males on Tinder who are claiming that they are well over 6 feet.”)

For a minute, we couldn’t decide if it was real or not. But Tinder has confirmed that this is an April Fools’ prank.

  13) T-Mobile Phone BoothE

If you’re still here, we’re done. T-Mobile’s sacrificial lamb in this blood bath of a ‘holiday’ is the T-Mobile Phone BoothE, which is a soundproof phone booth.

Of note: T-Mobile CEO John Legere was an active participant in this prank, which raises concerns, but then again that’s sort of his style.

Via Jordan Crook https://techcrunch.com

#TechCrunch

[toomanysinks]

The best and worst April Fools’ jokes from around the web

The tech world sure does love a good prank.

While some sat out on April Fools’, a number of big tech companies embraced the opportunity to waste time this way.

So without any further ado, here are the April Fools’ pranks from around the web:

The good

1) Google Tulip

Google Tulip, in my humble opinion, is Google’s best April Fools’ joke this year. It’s a product that lets you communicate with tulips (they’re making progress with cacti, which just want to be left alone, it would appear).

The premise itself is par for the course on April Fools’ day — the perfect mix of mildly plausible and “but why?” — but a few of the comedic touches on the video really make this prank shine.

If the bit at the :54 mark doesn’t tickle you, then I fully respect your opinion but we are very different people and I doubt we could ever be real friends.

  2) Shutterstock stock IRL

This happens to be one of my favorite April Fools’ jokes from a tech company this year. Shutterstock is unveiling ‘plans’ to build the world’s largest physical library, called stock IRL, which would host “shelves upon shelves upon shelves” of stock photos, watermarked videos and music tracks.

Best line: “Because sometimes innovation means moving backwards.”

Sometimes, the idea itself can be an obvious prank as long as it’s executed well. It doesn’t hurt that Shutterstock does a pretty solid job marketing its actual product here, either.

  3) Spotify Discocover Weekly

Spotify’s April fools prank is pretty good tho pic.twitter.com/yTSdvzJdtS

— Christopher Mims (@mims) April 1, 2019

This one is elegant and delightful. Spotify has transformed your Discover Weekly playlist to feature disco hits, or disco takes on non-disco hits. I’ve been listening to mine this morning and it’s solid. Oh, and the playlist is called Discocover Weekly.

Lovely.

  4) Duolingo Push

The best way to learn a language is to practice every day. So Duolingo is introducing a more effective way to remind you with Duolingo Push.

“We’re taking push notifications out of your phone and into the real world! Duo the Owl will literally show up to remind you to practice. It’s the green-glove treatment you’ve always wanted.”

  5) Google Maps Snake

If this is a prank, it’s an incredibly generous and sweet prank that never hurt anyone. Google has put the classic Snakes game into the Google Maps app, for both iOS and Android, as well as on a standalone site for folks who don’t have the app.

It’s fun and simple and makes me wonder why this nostalgic little Easter Egg can’t live in the Google Maps app forever and for always.

(I died for that ^^ screenshot. You’re welcome.)

  6) ProductHunt IPO

ProductHunt joked that it’s going public simply as a result of peer pressure. It also highlighted some of the April Fools’ pranks coming through on its own platform, including a SideDoor into college admission and a monstrous USB hub.

7) Waymo Pet

It’s exactly what you think it is. Waymo Pet is an autonomous car service exclusively for pets. The real beauty in this April Fools’ joke is in the details — the idea of Waymo employees overthinking the interior of a car based on the type of pet that may be riding in it is relatively humorous.

Best line: “Research shows us that cats love laser pointers.”

  The not so good

1) Adobe Capture

Adobe wonders what would happen if designers could spark a memory through the smell of a particular ad or logo. Heralding the arrival of this hellscape is Adobe Capture, which uses Adobe Scent-sei technology to give users the ability to capture scents in the real world (through the camera?) and preview scents via the phone’s charging port.

Don’t shoot the messenger. It gets both better and worse from here.

  2) General Cat-A-List

General Catalyst has spruced up their landing page with loads of cat gifs, powered by Giphy. Yes, General Catalyst is an investor in Giphy.

“We took this process seriously. To best convey that we sit at the cutting edge of all things new, bright and shiny, we spitballed our way through design-thinking sessions and administered Rorschach tests across the firm. We concluded that our brand should land at the intersection of tech + fun. What could illustrate tech-enabled fun better than the cat gif?”

  3) Google Files Screen Cleaner:

Google is adding a new Screen Cleaner feature to the Files app. To clean it from the inside out. According to the video, the features uses “a smudge detector API” to identify imperfections, along with” geometric dirt models” and a “haptic micromovement generator” to sh-sh-shake it off.

And because they already committed, the team at Google decided to double down and say that the Screen Cleaner also uses micro vibrations to create a non-stick shield around your phone. Cause why not?

    4) NVIDIA GeForce RTX R.O.N.

The NVIDIA GeForce RON AI personal assistant, as the name might suggest, is a classic case of too many pranky ideas coming to fruition at once.

The Echo-like device (but also with a holographic display, for some reason) offers in-game coaching (insults), a rage converter (which translates your screamed profanities into words of encouragement for your inept teammates), and the Troll Destroyer (using internet-sourced facts to take down trolls on forums). Those are just a few of the features of the RON AI personal assistant, which feels a bit too bonkers to be funny.

“A” for effort, though.

  5) 1Password

1Password just went for it today with the introduction of the 1Password Password Book, which is just a journal where you write down your passwords.

The landing page touts the book’s features, vacillating between pros and cons like “It’s Super Private” and “You can share your passwords.” Of course, analog password storage isn’t the worst way to store your passwords, especially if those passwords are strong in the first place and you’re keeping your Password Book in a safe place.

Alas, the Password Book is just a prank.

  6) OnePlus Warp Car

The OnePlus #WarpCar is coming. Are you ready to say goodbye to gasoline? #NeverSettle

— OnePlus (@oneplus) April 1, 2019

For years, rumors swirled that Apple might be working on a car. For April Fools’, the smartphone newcomer OnePlus teased an upcoming electric vehicle called the OnePlus Warp.

Shrug.

  7) Razr Ping

Gaming hardware company Razr took some inspiration from Apex Legends, the hottest new game on the market. Razr Ping hypothetically lets people ping real-world objects with their smartphone, similar to the non-verbal comms system in Apex Legends.

Low-key, though, that comms system may very well be the exemplar for other games and even non-gaming platforms. Just not in the way Razr imagines here, obviously.

  8) Roblox Console

I’m not entirely sure what Roblox is doing here with the introduction of the first Roblox gaming console, offering “a new way to make your dreams a reality in stunning, 8K ultra-high definition graphics and at greater than 120 frames per second.”

“Deep underground in a secret laboratory, our engineers developed a groundbreaking processor that could distill imagination into a concentrated source of infinite energy,” reads the blog post. “That energy is what fuels the unbelievable technology in Robox.”

If it’s supposed to be funny, I don’t get it.

9) Roku PressPaws Remote

According to Roku, 72 percent of their users said they thought their dogs would enjoy TV more if they could control what’s on. Thus, the PressPaws Remote.

“This paws-specific remote could be a huge untapped market for us,” says Lloyd Klarke, director of product management for the Roku Pet Division. The remote has shortcut buttons shaped like paws, because the buttons are the only real barrier between a dog’s ability to master the TV remote.

  10) SodastreamME

And then there’s such a thing as trying too hard. Sodastream presents the SodasteamME, which was built in partnership with astronaut Scott Kelly and allows folks to power their Sodastream with their own burps.

We may never know why.

  11) Stack Overflow

StackOverflow also went for a simple prank, taking the entire website back to the early days o the internet, complete with Comic Sans typeface. It’s jarring. You can check it out here.

12) Tinder Height Verification Badge

Introducing the thing you never asked for, but definitely always wanted—Tinder Height Verification. Coming soon. Read more about it here: https://t.co/8MER0L1U6W pic.twitter.com/hZ507zSoic

— Tinder (@Tinder) March 29, 2019

It’s funny because it’s true? On March 29, Tinder teased a new Height Verification Badge (HVB), which would force users to verify their age by taking a photo of themselves standing next to any commercial building. Remember, this is three full days before April 1.

The blog post has at least one typo, and some questionable language. (Exhibit A: “Did it ever occur to you that honesty is what separates humans from sinister monsters? Of course not.”) There is also, however, some hint of truth. (Exhibit B: “Only 14.5% of the U.S. male population is actually 6’ and beyond. So, we’re expecting to see a huge decline in the 80% of males on Tinder who are claiming that they are well over 6 feet.”)

For a minute, we couldn’t decide if it was real or not. But Tinder has confirmed that this is an April Fools’ prank.

  13) T-Mobile Phone BoothE

If you’re still here, we’re done. T-Mobile’s sacrificial lamb in this blood bath of a ‘holiday’ is the T-Mobile Phone BoothE, which is a soundproof phone booth.

Of note: T-Mobile CEO John Legere was an active participant in this prank, which raises concerns, but then again that’s sort of his style.

source https://techcrunch.com/2019/04/01/the-best-and-worst-april-fools-jokes-from-the-tech-world-2019/

[ronaldmrashid]

Early Retirement Five Years Later: Reflections On Life After Work

On March 8, 2017 I celebrated five years away from Corporate America. I also finally collected 100% of my remaining severance package payment on March 31. To celebrate, I’d like to share some insights into what I’ve learned since leaving the rat race.

Initially, if anybody asked, I told them I had retired. However, I soon realized how obnoxious it sounded for a 34 year old to say he was retired. I could sense their resentment, so I decided to say I was unemployed and following my dream to be a writer instead.

When they heard I was jobless and pursuing a highly unlucrative career, people’s attitudes changed. They offered advice and introductions to other people. Some even invited me to stay at their vacation homes out of pity. It was interesting to observe how much more empathy people have when they perceive you not doing as well as they. Related: Are You Smart Enough To Act Dumb Enough To Get Ahead?

Nowadays, few consider me an early retiree because I’m busy writing and doing so many other activities. This post may be particularly useful to those who can’t break free due to the one more year syndrome. However, I suspect there’s something here for everyone.

Reflecting On Five Years Of Early Retirement

1) Early retirement gets easier over time.

During my first year after leaving Corporate America, I often wondered whether forsaking a steady paycheck and a growing career was an optimal financial move. This was understandable because I hadn’t been away from the workplace long enough to appreciate fully what else was out there.

But as each month passed, I became more confident about my decision. My severance package was still getting paid out once or twice a year and I was doing things I could not do while working full-time e.g. consulting in fintech, writing more openly online, traveling for more than three weeks at a time, coaching high school tennis, managing home improvement projects, etc.

During years two and three of early retirement, while I continued to feel fear and uncertainty, I was also experiencing excitement and hope. The door for returning to full-time work continued to be left open, even if now it was only a crack. By the time year four rolled around, I’d found acceptance and clarity. It was the first time I resolved never to go back, especially after a terrible interview experience with a life insurance startup. After five years, I’m feeling tremendous joy because I’ve come to fully embrace the early retirement lifestyle.

The inflection point came when my wife joined me in early retirement in 2014. We made a pact when I left in 2012 that if I still felt the water was warm by the time she turned 34, she’d jump on in as well. There was some initial adjusting we had to do as we weren’t used to seeing each other 24/7. But we made things work and she’s now the CFO/COO of our company. We both get the intellectual challenge of doing something exciting while also having the ability to spend more time raising a family. I could not ask for a better life partner.

2) You won’t believe you worked so hard and took so much risk.

Looking back, I find it crazy I on average worked 60-70 hours a week at my corporate job for 10 years straight out of college, plus an additional 20 – 30 hours a week on the side during my last three years after I launched FinancialSamurai.com. It’s no wonder I had so much chronic pain in my back, jaw, elbow, and foot! When you’re desperate to change your life, you tend to do everything you can to achieve your goals. Nowadays, I feel working 25 hours a week on things I enjoy is the ideal amount of time for maximum happiness.

Looking back, it seems incredibly risky to take on a $1,220,000 mortgage at the age of 28.  After purchase, I could have been easily laid off or fired from my highly cyclical finance job. Further, after the $304,000 (20%) downpayment, I was left with no cash buffer for emergencies. I actually had to borrow some money from my grandfather to seal the deal in December 2004. I paid him back a couple months later with interest once I got my bonus in February 2005.

What also surprises me about my housing purchase back then is that 10 years later (2014), I bought a 18% cheaper house with a much smaller mortgage, despite being ~8X wealthier! Normal folks would have probably upgraded to a nicer house in a fancier neighborhood. Not us. We wanted to move to the western part of San Francisco where we could see the ocean and avoid the madding crowds.

Today, I would never invest $60,000 in a single private company like I did in Bulldog Gin as a 29 year old, especially not if the company was led by a first time entrepreneur. Today, the maximum I’d ever invest in an individual company is $25,000 because I’ve seen way too many failed businesses to be an angel investor anymore. Being naive allows you to take more risks!

As a retiree, I like taking minimal risk. Give me a bond that holds its value and pays a 4% or higher gross yield a year and I’m happy. Life is better when you don’t expect too much.

Work hard when you are younger because you won’t want to when you are older. Take many calculated risks when you are younger because you won’t have the guts to do so when you’re older.

3) Following your passion no longer becomes cliché. 

“Follow your passion, and the money will come” is bad advice for most people. Instead, it’s much better to pursue a field you like that’s in high demand so you can build your financial empire and get out before you become too old and bitter to change.

As a retiree, you’ve presumably optimized your budget, track your finances like a hawk, earn enough passive income to cover your expenses, and have some side hustle to fill any income or time gaps. Once your finances are set you can easily pursue what you love. If you pursue hard enough, money might eventually come rolling in.

For the first two years, Financial Samurai hardly made any money. I remember high-fiving myself whenever I made $10 bucks! But that was OK because I had a steady job and some passive income. Once I left work, my online income grew rapidly because I was in love with what I did.

Today, my online income is greater than my passive income. On a weekly basis my wife and I pinch each other’s butt cheeks to remind ourselves how lucky we are to have such an unanticipated income stream. Each year we keep thinking it’ll go away, yet so far it continues to be the best performing asset.

There’s no greater professional joy than making money in an activity you’d do for free. Therefore, work on that passion project while you have a job, especially if you don’t particular like what you do.

4) You’ll naturally find your groove. 

Besides the fear of running out of money in retirement (totally overblown), boredom and loneliness are the other fears many retirees deal with, especially those on the younger end of the spectrum. For so long, we’ve been conditioned to hang out with other people with day jobs. The reality is, there’s a huge ocean of people who work irregular hours and who make money doing irregular things. If you go on Meetup.com, you’ll instantly find a group that meets your interest.

Since retiring, I’ve met a plethora of other early retirees who earn income from their pensions, rental properties, dividend investments, and businesses. Further, there are plenty of people who don’t work traditional jobs and are living wonderful lives. Why else do you think big city streets are always packed during the middle of the day?

Don’t fear boredom. If you were motivated enough to retire early, you will be motivated enough to keep busy doing the things that interest you most. Many early retirees I talk to are even busier than while they were working!

5) You’ll experience a next level of happiness. 

After the post, Scraping By On $500K went bonkers, a newish blogger asked whether it was easier dealing with trolls the longer you’re online. I was surprised by the question because I hadn’t considered anyone who disliked my article to be a troll. Rather, I thought it fascinating to observe the different types of responses. Several readers also left comments asking whether I was doing OK. OK? I felt so energized that I decided to write a follow up post about peoples’ comments on my post! See: A $500K Redo: How One Couple Got Their Mojo Back!

If I was still working or in the first two years of early retirement, I think I’d probably feel highly agitated by those authors who came from tremendous privilege twisting my message because in those days I was less confident in myself. But today, I’m ecstatic that anybody is bothering to talk about my stuff. It’s an honor I’ll never take for granted. It’s why I still comment all the time on much smaller sites who show some love.

The day you decide you have enough is the day you’ll catch yourself smiling for no good reason. It’s the same reason why it’s very difficult to tell other people to f*ck off once you have f*ck you money. You already feel bad for the person hating on you because something in his life is bothering him. There’s no need to make him feel any worse by arguing.

The longer you survive early retirement, the happier you become. And when you reach the point where you’re no longer counting your pennies, wondering whether you’ll be able to make it until your 401k pays out, your happiness will explode!

Don’t Forget Why You’re Working So Hard

Rich or poor, never forget your WHY. As long as you are clear on your reasons for why you’re making all these sacrifices, life gets easier.

Since I was about 32, I’ve had this vision of one day being a stay at home dad who could provide for his wife and child. I want to be the dad who has no problems staying up all night to swaddle, change diapers, and soothe his baby so mom can consistently get 2-3 hours of sleep between feedings. I want to be that dad who takes his baby for a stroll in the park in the middle of a weekday. I want to be the dad who watches every single one of his kid’s soccer game at 3pm because there’s no place he’d rather be than rooting for his son. Not having a job is the only way I could achieve this vision.

Early retirement is no longer about me, but about everybody I care most deeply about. There’s nothing more valuable than having an abundance of time to spend with family.

Related:

The Dark Side Of Early Retirement

Life After Financial Independence

How To Retire Early And Never Have To Work Again

Readers, has having a family motivated you to improve your health and financial well-being? All I think about now is earning enough so that I can spend all my time being a super dad, instead of being an employee or an entrepreneur. Any other retirees have thoughts they’d like to share?

from http://www.financialsamurai.com/early-retirement-five-years-later-reflections-on-life-after-work/

#Financial Samurai