#would i date a trans woman?? would i date a trans man?? idk ive not met many trans ppl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

drdemonprince · 4 months

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idk if you've seen the new jessie gender vid about "transandrophobia" but it's not... awesome. youre a fellow trans dude i trust very much on this topic, so I figured i'd send it your way. https://youtu.be/oYTSxuVtR7c

it would be nice to have a succinct debunking of transandrophobia to be able to show people. ive read the autolenaphilia post, but maybe it would be cool to have something more up to date?

P.S.

congrats on the new book!

God, oof, yeah. Jessie Gender seems like a very sweet person, and she's been very open about being very sensitive to criticism and the dogpiling that she frequently experiences as a trans woman on the platform, and I don't think she should be giving so much credence to the trans men who are in her mentions complaining about trans mens' concerns being under-represented. I wish she had less of a reflexive fawn response and had the ability to tell some of her audience when she disagreed with them, because I think that's caused her a lot of stress in the past and continues to.

I really think the debunking of transandrophobia is as simple as this: androphobia isn't a thing. Misandry isn't a thing. Men are not hated or systematically excluded for being men. It's impossible for there to be an "intersection" between transphobia and misandry because misandry does not exist.

Anything that gets called transandrophobia is very transparently either transphobia, or some other prejudice such as racism or ableism, which touches the lives of many cis men as well. Trans men are not excluded from representation -- many of us have gotten massive book deals and acting roles and positions in academia in particular, and we don't get depicted as serial killers and sexual predators when we are represented the way trans women commonly are and have been for decades.

Trans women don't dominate trans spaces, and it's obvious fucking sexism to claim that they are. Trans women don't get all the resources, they just put more effort in general into creating community spaces, because women tend to do more emotional and social labor. (See also: fat men complaining that all the fat positivity spaces are made by women! MRA's complaining women didn't make a feminism just for them and men's concerns! make your own, dudes!) Trans men are men and that means most critiques of sexism are completely, obviously applicable to how they regard women, especially trans women.

I understand you want a handy authoritative text to point to here, but it already exists in the form of writing that trans women have done about the sexism they face: Whipping Girl for example being one of the most essential texts on the subject. We shouldn't need an authoritative man to say that sexism against women exists and that men need to work on our entitlement. I also think it's important that we not thoroughly argue with transandrophobia nonsense, but that we shut it down quickly and confidently as the obvious sexist bullshit that it is. This shit should get a dude laughed out of the room for being a shitty, misogynistic piss baby.

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spookfished · 10 months

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media roundup june 2023

hey guys guess who just went "oh its the 4th of july. that means that its july" here im going to talk about things i read/watched/played last month! i didnt read as much but did finish a couple books that ive had checked out Forever. ok actually i read a lot woops

books/comics/written media:

fake dates and mooncakes by sher lee: fake dating (obv) premise between a cooking boy and a rich heir! book that made me realized im honestly just not that interested in ya romance anymore LMFAO. pretty sweet and a decent read, but landed more heavily on the expository end of uhh i guess diaspora fiction? than i really prefer. i think i picked this up bc the author got mega cancelled on tyk twitter lol??

bird by bird by anne lammott: book about how to write. i love to read about how people do stuff :3 some of the advice applies pretty universally to creative efforts i think.. made me want to write more too

john dies at the end by jason pargin: DNF. comic/horror about this loser guy who discovers stuff. sigh i tried so hard to like this book its supposed to be pretty 'mecore'...talked about this with alena a bunch but its like hm... i know the sort of casual offensiveness sort of goes in hand with being poor and white and in the midwest and i appreciate how its like that creates its own doomed narrative or whatever. but also i feel like the protagonist would call me slurs or something. also the lowgrade but pervasive orientalism is kinda offputting. probably fun for some other guy! i did enjoy the horror elements though

the goldfinch by donna tartt: literary coming of age about a boys relationship with a painting (the goldfinch). also he flops a lot and its sort of homoerotic i guess? a movie was made of it. so something to note is that ive had this book out on loan since literally december. neil kept on being like hey man just stop reading it LMFAO. thoughts cp'ed from discord:

why does the goldfinch feel like a 600 page leadup to the actual book which is 800 pages

idk at this point im kinda sick of pathetic lovelorn self obsessed semi literary men. like toku men are also sopping and pathetic but i think its more appealing when they are also kind and can be vulnerable. this guy is just annoying and kind of incel coded. like does a grand gesture to make up for the fact that he killed your dog while dogsitting

i actually did enjoy the parts post timeskip but i still think the first two thirds could have been cut or Greatly compressed or interspersed w the present or Something, yk? prose was nice though

the bodyguard by katherine center: romance novel about a woman bodyguard who lives for her job. fresh from a breakup, shes given a new undercover assignment with a handsome actor, recently withdrawn from society. will they be able to break each others' shells....? my mom recommended this to me LMFAO we kind of have different tastes in romance.. ive read a book by this author before i think her platonic scenes are very strong? i wish there had been a couple more of those. also i like how she always includes a life affirming section at the end about how important it is for us to open ourselves up to love etc etc cute but not especially memorable

kiss quotient by helen hoang: (reread) a shy, autistic econometrician decides that she needs to get better at sex, and so hires an escort. helen hoang is one of my faavorite romance authors i really enjoyed this reread although i kinda forgot that both leads say, think and do some pretty embarrassing things. but you know a little embarrassment is endearing and all that.. i still prefer her other book (the bride test) but this one is pretty good too. vivid characters 👍

sisters of dorley hall by alyson greaves: web fiction - a trans woman infiltrates a secret force-feminization program. ok im just cp'ing my thoughts from discord again but i enjoyed it a lot:

my thoughts are that the first like, third? is really really good. it like idk takes the very real trans fears of like discovery and passing and all that and fictionalizes them a bit. but like its still grounded and swag. sooo tense once The Reveal happens n things w steph are pretty normal it gets kinda meandering? which i dont really mind bc i love interpersonal drama even if i miss how tense and scary it was. but also theres only like two major plot threads going on rn and theyre both pretty slowburn. a timeskip would probably benefit tbh like the point rn is kinda like. the 7 year meteor? yeah sorry

like it used to be sort of psychological thriller? and now its sort of more character focus and also surprisingly fluffy.. im surprised that the author has said they have a complete outline bc it doesnt feel very focused atm? but also like i suppose things are snowballing a bit re: revealing the sisters to the outside world

an unauthorized fan treatise by lauren james: a fangirl trying to prove her rpf ship is real uncovers a greater conspiracy. to me if something is able to capture a specific age/vibe from the internet its automatically pretty good. however more and more people are learning how to do that so maybe i should change my standards... i was never involved in All That re: rpf or even fandoms of live action shows until kamen rider? but like i definitely knew people in hs that were sort of like this LMFAO so it felt very familiar. i appreciate the author trying to make that $$ but i dont know if it really needs an expansion/sequel.. the ending is better off with some ambiguity imo

impossible us by sarah lotz: literary romance? a man and a woman fall in love online, but encounter difficulties when they try to meet. ok im just pasting my thoughts here again (spoilers btw):

ok that was a lot of stuff. onto movies/tv:

xo kitty: kitty goes to a school to connect with her online boyfriend, but all is not well. yall this was not good. i guess my standards shouldnt have been that high but to all the boys ive loved before was so cute!! (havent watched/read the others). but like.. the writing was bad and the main actress just wasnt very sympathetic or charming? characters waste time saying "i can explain" until time runs out for them to actually explain, additional (and nonsensical) romance plots are added for no reason, and the male lead isnt even that hot. sorry. also kitty deciding to move to korea to connect with her mom but not bothering to learn a speck of korean and insisting that everyone else speak to her in english really sucks honestly. not even my mom liked it so thats how you know its bad 👎

succession season 1: yesss succession. greg is my favorite cant wait to see him become evil. makes me stressed

shin kamen rider (hideaki anno): reboot of the first kamen rider by the guy who made evangelion. this guy kinda makes the same thing over and over but it looked sick as hell so i wasnt complaining. like stella obstinaterixatrix said, kinda more introspective or even insular to the point of kinda ignoring the usual kr theme of justice but it was still very fun :3 kinda want to watch the original now

ready player one (movie): my parents made me watch this movie. aggressively mediocre.

kamen rider revice and live and evil and demons: pretty fun if you have the disease that makes you think revice is good, but mostly made me miss revice. i think they should have gone more into the clone thing but i always think that so

kamen rider juuga vs kamen rider olteca: two-parter special for kr revice. i forgot what happened in this pretty much immediately after but karizaki was hot

roman holiday: a princess touring in rome escapes her duties for a day, and meets a dashing young reporter. classic romance!! i actually liked this so so much like it actually is very romantic and funny and like deserves the hype. didnt expect it to be in black and white even so audrey hepburn is really hot. (spoilers) more romances should have bittersweet endings though like it hit

kamen rider ryuki: a young man is inducted into a battle royale between those fighting for their deepest wishes, and decides to try and stop the rider battle once and for all. hey guys ryuki is so fucking good for those who have watched madoka magica a lot of it is very heavily based off of/inspired by ryuki! but ryuki does it better. pretty much The kamen rider has so much to say about justice and love and what it means to be a hero and sacrifice and *runs out of air and falls over* also it made me cry. if you ever try kamen rider try this one <3

EDIT OH i forgot about across the spiderverse 100/10 obviously groundbreaking in animation nice take on generational trauma and also like the nature of adaptation and being in a multimedia comics franchise and all that. really hope the sequel doesnt get crunched too bad. oh but copaganda not great 99/10

video games:

twisted wonderland: gacha game where random disney villains are bishie high schoolers instead. ill play chapter 3 sometime soon i swear. gameplay is terrible as with most gacha games but the characters are cute? i feel terrible guilt for being involved with a disney franchise. honestly pretty compelling character writing sometimes though sorry

apico: stardew-like about raising bees (in beta). sooooo cute and the devs obv care about bees a lot in real life. the gameplay loop + breeding systems are a little bit punishing right now though i really hope it gets adjusted. took over my life during finals (woops) and i got like half the bees and then burnt out. multiplayer is fun though!

legend of zelda tears of the kingdom: the next zelda game, now featuring building + vertical elements. yeah this took over my life for two months like it did for a bunch of other people i finished the main story a couple days ago! i might go back to do a couple more of the shrine puzzles, but other than that i think im done. LOVE the vertical elements and also all the little sidequests there are to do and how the world has changed since botw. dragons tears was really good and OMG PROVING GROUNDS. would be a 10/10 if zelda was the protag stop damseling her you guys cmon

paper mario origami king: newest paper mario game, which is a spinoff of the main series where theyre all paper (duh). im about halfway through this, i think? tried it out because of the dunkey video lol and also bc it was free at my library. very charming and inventive, has a really good soundtrack and really funny writing! i know the gameplay was controversial, but im enjoying it a lot (and theres a lot of room for error). might 100% it

it feels like this month i tried a lot of things that i didnt really like LMAO. also a lot of romance. im very happy about finally finishing the goldfinch! the only holdout on my libby is slaughterhouse 5 :P i did find some things that i really liked though! anyways this one feels a bit more scattered but if you got to the ending, congratulations! thanks for reading :3

#txt

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polyamorouspunk · 1 year

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look i know its not friday but i have a 'sleepover' ask anyway bc uh idk why not ur my mutual

i consider myself mlm but every once in awhile i see a trans woman and i go HOLY GF UCKING SHIT and its not that i see them as a man theyre def a woman and i am attracted to them so like. i dont like the bi or pan labels and ive been thinking about this for like. the past month? i think i just like trans people (i would never date a cis person. ever) but idk if i wanna keep using the mlm label cause i dont wanna make a transfem feel dysphoric yk? but mlm gay is the label i identify most with since i primarily like men. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??? i dont care about labels *that much* but like. still. idk

youre welcome for the rant btw

*presses hands together* so like tbh honestly I think there are def some trans people out there who would be chill if like. You kept the label mlm but respected their gender identity. I do have a friend that for the longest time identified as a trans guy, they might still but I know the?3 started going back to using she/her pronouns sometimes (if you’re reading this hi feel free to jump in) and they’re dating someone who considers themselves to be a cishet guy so like. Yeah I feel like it’s been a bit confusing on his part but from what I remember them telling me, like they were cool with him still identifying as a cishet guy while dating them, a trans guy. And I mean like I certainly don’t have any issue with someone dating me and identifying as a cishet guy because like I do identify as a girl or with my agab or whatever and like as long as they’re chill with me using he/him pronouns or they/them pronouns every once in a while then cool but like honestly I don’t really enforce my pronouns with anyone unless Punk is strongly fronting. Like I go around just being called she/her all day every day and it really doesn’t bother me. I think it’s really up to the person whether or not they would feel dysphoric because I know that some people including me wouldn’t tbh.

#also yeah sleepover runs all weekend long and we’re mutuals for sure #I am very welcome for the rant thank you thank you #punk gets mail

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theygotlost · 2 years

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FRANCIS. and donnie. and…… 🙈 ezzie… ezzie dax.

jesus christ this is long. im putting it under a readmore

franny:

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual. I don't think he realized it until his teen/adult years and now it doesnt really affect his life much now since he married piama so young but I can also see him using the fact he likes men as a way to rebel against lois (sidnote i wouldnt really consider lois homophobic if any of her kids came out she would be like "well i believe in equality so I'm going to make all you boys' lives equally miserable regardless of your sexuality. idgaf if you're gay go clean the toilet". um anyway). i just think it would be funny if piama had a celebrity crush or something and she was like wow hes sooo hot and francis would b like yeah he is 🤨😳

Gender Headcanon: i think hes a whiny little cis boy sorry. francisgender

A ship I have with said character: i do think he and piama are cute together :) i just wish she was in the show more and had an actual personality and stuff >:(((((((

A BROTP I have with said character: I like when he's with the rest of his family and gets to hang out with his brothers :) DEWER ESPECIALLY there is something so special to me abt him taking care of dewey and being kinder to him than malcolm and reese are

A NOTP I have with said character: Any other time in the early seasons when he dated a random girl for 1 episode i was like. um ok? but i didnt really HATE any of those

A random headcanon: uhhhh i feel like i should have something prepared to say here but idk. I think he listens to. weezer. fuck this

General Opinion over said character: FEMINIST WOMEN LOVE FRANCIS. also you already know every opinion ive ever had about francis already but hes so pathetic and stupid I need to squish him between my thumb and forefinger

don of tello lol:

Sexuality Headcanon: HES SO GAYBOY. LOOK AT HIS GAY ASS ANIME GIRL STANCE WHAT IS THISSSSSS

Gender Headcanon: i dont think he is cis or trans i think he is a turtle . i think he can swimming in the water for algaes. hope this helps

A ship I have with said character: nobody... tbh the ninja turtles are kinda unshippable to me. theyre just Creatures they dont “date”. But im not that far into the show yet so maybe there is another character that he can have a yaoi moment with later. But im not counting on it

A BROTP I have with said character: obviously all 4 of da turtle brothers are awesome together but DONNIE AND MIKEY ARE BESTIE VIBES!! Theyre my 2 favorites and i love their dynamic esp since they get paired up kinda often. I feel like they are the closest to each other out of all of them cause they’re both kind of the “weird” ones. Theyre neurodivergent and a minor. Also i like that donnie calls mikey “michael” its funny

A NOTP I have with said character: theres not really any viable shipping options to like or dislike . other than like the really reprehensible stuff like incest which is just like Why. do you know how sad and upsetting it is that so many tmnt blogs have to stipulate “no incest” in their bio? Can we all be normal and regular please?

A random headcanon: definitely the most online guy. Its really funny to enivision him being like a discord mod and getting into fights with people on reddit. Basically this 👇

General Opinion over said character: he’s kind so annoying but in a funny and endearing way (much like many of my favorite guys...) but he ourple so that makes up for it. My favorite tutle

ezzie:

Sexuality Headcanon: Dax and all their symbionts are like. Inherently and canonically bisexy

Gender Headcanon: everyone likes to take the “I’m having trouble with my pronouns!!” line out of context 😑 but for real she said “some mornings I don’t know if im a man or a woman until i pull back the sheet” which um... kinda transphobic... we CANCEL the ezri!!!! Jk she can be whatever you want baby. Any pronouns

A ship I have with said character: MIRROR EZRI INTENDANT KIRA HOT SOAPY BOOBS YURI LESBIAN KISS

A BROTP I have with said character: she has no friends lol sorry. Theres not really any bestie vibes between her and sisko the way there was with jadzia

A NOTP I have with said character: ONE MILLION TIMES JEZRI. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!! umm also when she started making out with worf i was like fml. That episode got me feeling so worfzia warrior but only because i was thinking “damn i wish jadzia was still here and worf was making out with jadzia instead.” it just feels weird to me

A random headcanon: idk what do you want me to say. shes so tumblrina.General Opinion over said character: i know ive tormented you enough with the senorita awesome video but that really is how i see her. Im so sorry sam please dont be mad at me but I just don’t like her that much. She’s so #QUIRKY and its really grating. And I know that she didn’t formally complete her training but she is NOT a good ship’s counselor. If i went to my therapist and told her i was depressed or whatever and she was like “yeah sometimes i wanna kill myself too 😋 the #intrusivethoughts are so AWKO TACO!!” i think i would blow my brains out. But in Field of Fire when she was trying to solve that murder case and was hunting down that vulcan guy with a cool gun that was the ONE epsiode where i liked her and thought she was cool. I would like her more if she was badass like that more of the time

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menalez · 1 year

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Ajfjsjakjdfjs there is a lot about lesbian culture in other countries I did not know about!! Like o_o why with thr nudes thing sjdjskdjsjd

I see though i think that makes sense. I feel like theres always that dumb idea of masculine feminine balance 😭 even though i myself am femme4butch i still dontt liek the whole oooaaga divine balaaance. Also its weird bc I think in USA, while there is that idea of course, there's also the 'lipstick' lesbians or 'fem4fem' stereotype or at least, what straight people think of the Good type of lesbians if it makes sense. Like what we see on tv... Its more appealing to them anyway

I mean my ex(😭 it hurts to say my god) gfs mom was actually a bit confused on whether she (ex) was trans like her brother (ftm) or just masculine, Bc i guess her idea of lesbians was the Lipstick kind.? but then also shes not usa american but latin American. Also she was very supportive and sweet just straight and confused with things gjdks

Still i think we have that too or single feminine lesbians get told how its good theyre not the ugly kind if people find out. I think gay men also have similar expectations put on them like ive read about families being more accepting if their son was the "top" or more manly seeming one in his relationship

Also me too 😭 its sooo weird like to have been pressured since being born+!!! And even my teachers would say omg stop flirtingg with boy classmate. ☹️ (crazy bc a teacher thatt taught us Gender Spectrum actualy said that to me bc i was telling this one boy off or something.. ookay.) And then my mom bringing up babies or grandchildren and then in the next moment telling me sex is evil and i should stay away from boys okay ma'am!!!

But jdjd glad that its not just me. Idk i keep feeling worried, but then I feel like im being stuck up and thinking im the only one in the world whos smart and sane so ill never find anyone. Like relax you are not the chosen one (@ myself of course)

Yeah i hope my family will be accepting andd not kill me fjsksjs and I hopee. I can find love and peace.... but thank you for listening! really I appreciate it bc sometimes it just feels like drowning in loneliness and i cant be myself even among friends andd etc. So. Ur very sweet 😭 mwah mwah thanks again mena

literally i could not tell u why she was showing me her nudes. im guessing it’s bc she wanted to show me that she gained weight and show her body before 😭😭 i felt like she was low-key flirting ngl lmaooo but she kept talking about her gf and that’s often a red flag for me sooo nothing happened there. i told her she shouldn’t sit around waiting for the day when her gf inevitably leaves her for a man n that’s not healthy etc. she’s also extremely self-hating in general and said a doctor told her that her lesbianism & masculinity are bc she doesn’t have enough estrogen in her body / has too much testosterone and that she should be on hormones to be fixed, which she fully believed.

im not keen on femme4femme lool from my experience most of them are weirdly anti-butches and hold misogynistic & lesbophobic beliefs! and i do think ur right that’s the more acceptable combo in the west (two gender conforming conventionally attractive women dating). i also hate the stupid idea that bc im not masculine im meant to be dating a woman who is bc it’ll “balance” us both. they also said when im with more androgynous or feminine women, i become more masculine which is “unnatural” or sth 🫥. also my mom is most in support of me dating women that can pass for men, i feel like she thinks if i won’t be w a man then the thing that’s best is me dating a woman who can be mistaken for a man. i think it’s mostly bc she wants to be socially accepted but it can be exhausting

ALSO the top thing is a whole ass thing in the gulf. there’s many bi & straight men who will literally get away with having gay sex bc they exclusively top 💀 a lot of those tests they use to check if ur gay (so they’ll jail u for it) are specifically testing if ur a bottom. it’s a weird weird phenomenon. and it’s especially weird that there’s this weird culture of even straight men seeking out men bc the society is very sex segregated. im sure some of those men aren’t actually straight but it’s such a prominent thing the way it is in prisons in the US that im sure many of them are. craziest part is this culture is most prominent in saudi of all places

omg when i was little i had mainly male friends bc idk girls thought i was a weirdo that stared too much at them or sth. and i was v close to my male friends, we’d hold hands n all but i think we both thought nothing of it. and my mom would be like “omg soooo cute my daughter has a boyfriend omg 🤗 she looooves the boys omg and they love her!!!” meanwhile im 5 years old and just thinking of it like holding my brother’s hand

manifesting u find ur dream gf soon and that coming out goes smoothly for u 🥺❤️ don’t hesitate to msg me whenever. i love hearing from other lesbians n it’s always heartwarming seeing younger lesbians accept themselves, i somewhat envy it (wish i were that brave & self-aware!!!) but it gives me a lot of hope for our future 🥰🥰🥰

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otoput · 1 year

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Rant, this is a rant a Tw include transphobia, terf bullshit and CRAZY woman hate so yeah you've been warned

I am pissed and angry, i was on tiktok and i saw the wierd hair lady that has CLEARLY inhaled too much hairspray rant about lesbian and womens rights.. by being transphobic and ableist, i am intersex i have alot of T in my blood system when i was born i had wierd bottom parts, which would make me a "no woman" and "sub female" that i am trying to enter into womens spaces.

She talked very briefly about intersex people tho, her main point is trans women, my gf angel is trans, and ive taken this personally this bitch said that people get arrested for saying that men aren't lesbians which is completely false and showed a FOX news link that wasn't fox but we will talk about that in a bit of a lady that got arrested for saying that men aren't lesbians

This has never happened, a white cis woman saying something like that wouldn't lead to her arrest

No one has ever said that men can be lesbians non-binary lesbians exist and are very valid

Strawman arguments haven't gotten you anywhere love, trans women dont dominate womens sports, trans women aren't forcing you to date them, trans women's existence doesn't make you less of a woman

You cant define woman without using the word woman because its a SOCIAL CONSTRUCT made by humans, but if you want to be stupid here is your def "a gender identity on the opposite spectrum of man" here

She is hurt because idk her bf left her for a trans Bad bitch or something so she hurts and hate crimes women because they hate crime women??

Ok??? Understandable?? If you see her on your fyp just block her she is a bitch

TLDR: laetitiaky on tiktok is a transphobic ass hole!

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soundscapesystem · 2 years

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i wish i had the money to afford real health care and the bravery around medical professionals to just be totally honest but i spend like. so much time trying to understand why my body developed so different than everyone else ive ever known including my own family.

idk. like theres some hypochondriac part of me that always thinks like "i have some SYNDROME i never got diagnosed with!!!" and i do think that COULD be true. another part thinks maybe its some form of intersexism i just never hear about or something. either way my brain always settles on "i think for some reason i dont got enough estrogen OR testosterone and i wish a doctor could test that and tell me why im like this and if its normal or if its dangerous and esspecially if it means im infertile cuz that would rule"

but idk this experience has always left me in such a strange space. like im trans masc but i really can relate to trans fem peoples top dysphoria because theres still a part of me that feels like a failed woman for still having the chest of a child. and this experience makes me really sensitive to conversations about how if a woman looks too young or short or shaves too much its infantilizing because i cant help it. im sorry i look young but i want to be seen as an adult because i am one. it makes me really relate to characters of like 300 year old characters stuck in a childs body cuz thats genuinely how i feel a of the time. people talk about what its like to be seen as young for your age but im 25 and got mistaken for 12 last week, and before that i was told you need go be at least 15 to get a job at some place i asked about, and before that i was told you cant get a gym membership until your 15. ive had people ask a partner out on a date with me holding their hand right in front of them because they thought i was a little sibling. like. its just really frustrating that no one takes me seriously when i talk abt how much it hurts. but everyone sees me as a child so most people dont take anything i say seriously anyway. like it makes my dysphoria feel so different than anything i hear other people talk about. because it hurts to be seen as a little girl, but it always hurts to be seen as a little boy, and id rather be seen as a grown woman than a little boy, because i am so hyperaware that i am physically incapable of looking like a grown adult man its actually LESS dysphoric to just look like a 16-18 year old girl than it is to look like a 12-14 year old boy despite being a 25 year old man. like. explaining that is so convoluted. like i really think if i took T it would not masculize me at all, it would probably just make me look like a woman in my 20s

#logan speaks

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ruvi-muffin · 3 years

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Can a bunch of ppl just kiss me already so i can know if im gay or not please

#muffin rambles #like #okay so #what throws me off is how sertain i was that i was bi a couple yrs agi #like i would look at men and go yes am bi #ans now i look at men and go #hhhhhhhhh idk how to feeeellll #when i thought i was straight in 2013 i thought for sure that the discomfort i experienced w men was just nervousness and fear of commitme #but then it was öike #lady henlooo #then it just kept happeninf #and never happened w a guy ever again #my attraction to men has been at the same level my entire life whereas w wwomen it been increason steadily i feel like #but a l s o #transness fits into this equation somehow #would i date a trans woman?? would i date a trans man?? idk ive not met many trans ppl #my type is nerdy bi women judging by my history #sexuality is fake yall like how many ppl actually have enough of a pattern to go yes this is what i am #its questioning o clock again #WHY DO I FEEL WEIRD

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pissdykebutch · 2 years

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i find it pleasantly suprising that im as comfortable as I am with my lesbianism and my expectations for relationships in general, considering how awfully my last one ended and that I identified as a "lesbian in denial" a couple years ago. It felt like such a burden, such a complex weight to hold as a trans woman, so much so that I had to atttach that "in denial" to it. And I was so worried that it wouldn't strictly line up with my experiences, that i might give the wrong impression. And like, after being in a handful of relationships with people who learned that there was no home for them in womanhood, or found out they were a man, or were even wrong about being a trans woman, idk it doesn't stress me anymore. Gender and attraction are messy, and that's ok. I've fallen for people who turned out to be men and like, it doesn't make me any less of a lesbian or those men anything other than men.

And I think if im letting anyone into my love life again, I know that the people I would want to date, would be mature enough to know that fact. And honestly if my partner didn't feel comfortable in proximity to womanhood, I know I would support them. i've bought enough binders for people in my life to know 100% I would support them, and still love them, and I would give them space to see if they still wanted to be with me. And I also think I deserve a partner who would have a similar mindset, quite frankly, I think if someone was so paranoid about a lesbian loving them like that, I've accepted that they wouldn't be a good partner for me in the first place.

I've run the gambit of rough and lovely relationships, I've seen how many second chances i'll give someone and I know that when im head over heels, I will put their interests first when I need to, even in the worst of it. It was weird and really fucking hard to learn how incredibly devoted and loyal I am, I guess i just thought that most people were like me in that respect, and it took a lot of pain to realize that's not the case. and for all the joys of casual and wild sex, I've learned what I really want, more than anything in this world, is someone who can match that, who is in my corner, with me for the long run. who is as smart and funny and loyal and devoted as i am.

And the weight of being a trans woman and a lesbian has come to feel like home. Ive come to accept that the space I was mourning was never there for me in the first place, I never lost anything, its just space i never had, filled with people who wouldn't like me anyways. And the world is wide enough that as long as i fill my life with people who love and support me, that shit won't matter and I'm so glad I learned that.

#doughnut #re #blo #g

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fmdjoosungarchive · 3 years

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restructuring task 1

+5 tracker points

1. assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background.

wc: 365

idk if i’ve said this on dash yet, but i’m treating new famed more or less like an au. in sung’s au, the defining change is that he was let go from gold star when he had his injury as a trainee. it was always my headcanon that they truly were close to cutting him loose anyway, so this is just the other side of that. he had his injury, got plastic surgery to try to appease them into keeping him, and they still let him go. when he went home his parents said alright u tried that now join the fam business n sung freaked bc he realized he doesnt want that for himself so he went to do smth he also hated, and joined the military. while there he still worked on his dance and vocals whenever he had a moment to do so, so that when he was discharged and started auditioning again, he wasn’t so rusty

he is a year younger in this world, just bc of quantum’s age range, not for any other reason. makes him a little less of a cradle robber in his relationship lol which, another change is that daisuke wouldn’t have been his first kiss, just first everything else

quantum is very different from old element and new element, but it’s very in line with what i liked about quicksilver (& has models from that) and he’s a leader! this is an idea ive toyed with a lot over the last three years tbh. at first i didn’t think sung suited a leader position, but he came to show me he’s just a different kind of leader. i liken him to jinki often in this regard. rather than lassoing members in, he supports them being however they are, and takes an intimate/emotional path to gaining their trust and leading them. and while he wasn’t suited for the full business life, what he learned from his father’s teachings helps him in dealing with the company as the group’s representative there (& he loves a good powerpoint presentation)

other timeline stuff for big events in his life are likely to shift but i’m not sure on specifics yet

2. what does your muse think of their company and their group?

wc: 260

as the child of a businessman, he’s never under the illusion that as a company entity, their first priority is their wellbeing. he knows that they are products, and that they’re treated as such. it’s a bit heavier with dimensions than gold star, since gold star makes a more active effort to pretend they care. however, once having accepted that, sung thinks himself and dimensions work well together. he does feel that for a company, they allow himself and his members to be a part of the creative process, as says their motto. he feels much more encouraged to write songs and choreograph under dimensions than he did under gold star, where it felt like he was constantly on his knees begging for the company to take him seriously

as for quantum, sung really loves what they’re about. he’s not a big fan of all (or most) of their songs, though he’s more loving towards a song written by another member even if it’s the same sound he dislikes, but he absolutely loves being focused on performance and concepts. his creative mind works very much on the basis of story and emotion that comes with it, and he feels like quantum’s concepts sometimes to often lean into his tastes. he’s always been a dancer first and foremost (god am i so glad to have his main dancer title back i MISSED u) so focusing on performance is v much up his alley, and his preferred style of dance is through storytelling. he feels the heart of dance is in that

3. is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract?

wc: 281

quantum’s on their first contract still, up for renewal in 2024. at the current moment, he would like to re-sign. however, unlike my others, his re-signing depends more heavily on the other members. if they were unhappy and wanted to leave, sung would want to follow suit, not because he can’t make his own decisions, but because if the reason the members want to leave is because of the company, not quantum, he’d want to try to help quantum continue to live. if that means all of the members leaving in order to rebrand under another company, so be it. he’d like to avoid lineup changes however he can, and ideally would like to be an idol for as long as possible

he himself feels alright about his treatment. he feels creatively stimulated, and appreciated for talents further than his face. if he were to try to negotiate different terms at their contract renewal, part of it would likely be wanting to give members a higher share of profits, especially on releases they’re creatively involved in. sung personally has no use for excessive money, but not all of his members have his background, and he feels more than just the money, it’s what’s fair. he’d also prefer to allow for more creative freedom. as a 7/8 year group by then, he’d think they should be allowed to take the reigns more heavily. and on his personal side of things, he would want dimensions to be more mindful of his schedule. sung enjoys working, but he’s only one person, who doesn’t want to be overworked. these are all just his current thoughts, though, and will probably change before contract renewal comes up

4. what are your muse’s goals and motivations?

wc: 294

his motivations to be ‘successful’ and/or achieve his goals are his family, namely being someone his nephew and niece can be proud of, and someone his parents can feel was worth letting go of. he feels closer to the latter than he did in old famed. his members motivate him to be a good leader, his desire to grow as a creator motivates him to write and choreograph

specific goals could be bigger like his desire for more public recognition. while quantum has a lot more recognition both in korea and abroad than element or quicksilver, sung wants the best for his group. he’d be happy if they stayed where they are with their loyal fandom, but he still aims for more

sung also wants to get better at standing up for himself. he’s best at standing up for others, because he can slap on a bit of bravado in order to help them out, but when it comes to himself, especially with his parents, he’s pretty awful at it

he’d also like to create more for quantum, and others. i/he have a goal for him to write a whole album for someone, so if anyone reads this far and could want sung writing for their muse, hit me up!

he’d like to get married and have children one day. that’s always been a dream of his, and while he knows his career doesn’t allow for that soon, it’s still on his docket

he wants to spend more time with his family, especially his nephew and niece. they’re so new to the world and learning everything, and sung wants to be a part of that. he doesnt want his part in their early lives to be ‘i don’t really remember seeing him back then’

5. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?

wc: 291

at some point, this bitch is gonna have to admit he’s a homiesexual. in his previous version, it was a lot easier for him to ‘i pretend i do not see it’ when it came to that. sung’s very ignorant when it comes to the queer community in korea, so he’s not even really aware of terms beyond gay, maybe trans. but, terms aside, he always thought he was someone who liked women, and daisuke and a couple of others were just outliers. they were the Special ones outside of his jurisdiction that were just too good for him to not notice. aka he believed he was bi. and now, he still does, but i have less faith he’ll be able to hold that up until he dies like i did before, because he’s actually dated at least one woman before in this world. considering the plot has yet to be picked up, i don’t know the specifics, but i do think it’s harder to run away from when the way he treated a relationship with a woman and a relationship with a man were lightyears away from one another. it’s still possible for him to run away from the truth of the situation, but it’s also very possible that one day, his thoughts on it will shake, and everything will click into place (messily,, probably the messiest clicking ever) it would be a difficult thing for him to come to terms with, though i think it’s better for him in the longterm to truly know who he is, and why he acts the way he does, why he feels the way he does about women vs men. it’s also nice just to not live a lie, even if only privately

6. if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.

wc: 523

sung has a pretty filled history of individual activities. most are points claims with a focus on modelling, his radio, and music, though he’s dipped into pretty much ever facet of idoldom, some with more success than others. his ecp expenditures flesh that out a little more, and add a bit more realism, and/or make sense of the group changes. he had a one year modelling contract with the north face, and while official claims aren’t possible, i was inspired by a couple of things rowoon did with them. there was more of a push on an eco-friendly side of things, and there was a bit of dancing. playing into his group position with dancing i feel is fitting, but the eco friendly part i also feel could round out his image more as a good, kind boy who also can be sexy, whereas before, his earlier modelling claims focused a lot more on the sexy aspect, because it fit element and his trajectory there better. here, it makes him more dual sided from the beginning. north face is also just a nice, strong brand that i think is fitting for a pretty boi. i set it a bit after a year out from debut because i feel like that’s the most realistic, especially for a group like quantum that grew audience with each comeback

part of that first year being focusing only on the group ties into his creative claims as well! his first creative claim was with the bside love, lalala on the eternity ep. the nicest part of creative claims being unattached to positions is that all of sung’s claims are the songs in the discography most Him. so love lalala is very jazzy and smooth, and would have served as his first introduction to songwriting, as well as what made him interested in songwriting. then he was a choreographer on error, which is heavily story based, and about the members being a unit, and making beautiful pictures together. i hope to snag intro long journey and outro long journey from the beginning and end of the ateez sector, because they’re beautiful compositions that fit sung’s style, but also having him on both makes him feel like he’s a part of the concept’s creation in an intimate way, which fits with dms. then there’s aurora, which sung partially composed and partially choreographed. the choreography has contemporary flair to it, and the song is a flowing sound that matches that. then there’s partial production on sunrise, which i just love the robotic ass experimental production there, and comp for with u, which i believe ties back into sung’s rediscovering his love of piano. choreo for valkyrie is most similar to error in it’s pretty pictures way, and also has a bit of complex footwork, especially as its point dance, which is also p sung to want to include. and finally, some comp on stand by, which is like a mix of the appeal of aurora and with u methinks? listening to all of his written songs together i feel like really makes a picture of sung’s songwriting so i love that

#famedrstask1 #and the last q was me trying to keep it brief....... lol

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veldian · 3 years

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tell us more of ur think tank hcs i personally am at the edge of my seat

HELL YEAH ALRIGHT HERE WE GO. some of these might be against canon in some way but that's your fault for trusting me with this

ALSO, AS USUAL, I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE. THIS GOT VERY LONG. when i think about the tanks i go fuckin wild with it

starting with pride headcanons to get the ball rolling

all the tanks are nonbinary, but additionally, dala is a trans woman and 0 is a trans man

8 hates gender he fucking hates it. every day he wakes up and says "today i will make gender my bitch" and then he does. he says this in the game too you just don't know cuz he only speaks in static (don't factcheck this)

if you ask 8 what pronouns she uses, they will shrug and give you a "i dunno" noise. sometimes it'll make a non-committal hand movement and some unintelligible noises. good luck

god this bitch (borous) is gay! good for him! good for him.

he's also intersex! i don't remember where we got that hc but i like it and im holding onto it

okay but borous calls himself bi because yeah Men, but he also loves dala very much and doesn't want to misgender her. also as previously stated, 8's main goal is to confuse everyone about their gender so the tanks all stick with mspec labels to be on the safe side. you never know what'll happen. gender is a ticking time bomb

bi gang: klein, borous, 0

pan gang: dala, mobius

don't ask her about any of her identities she doesn't know the answer either: 8

have i gone off about polytank dynamics enough? i don't think so

8 and dala started dating first because horny bitches gravitate towards each other. they can also "pass" as a "straight couple" so hopefully no one at work will look at them and call them slurs. hopefully

klein and borous knocked things out of the park for being the first gay scientists ever

8 and dala became polyam icons and pulled 0 in. trans bitches gravitate towards each other

klein and borous did the same with mobius. bitches with facial hair gravitate towards each other

???????

idk and then all six of them started dating somehow. the end

somewhere along the way klein and 8 were like "i like you a little too much" and now they're inseparable

okay anyway. misc hcs

ive mentioned this before but when i pretend everything is in modern times, 0 is a tiktokker and he thrives on the attention and making fun of his coworkers on the internet

"watching steven universe repeatedly when i felt even slightly bad transed my gender" - doctor 8 old world blues

i just remembered i made a carrd for the tanks as if they were kinnies in their early to mid 20s

8 kinned pearl su. borous kinned werewolf cookie. 0 kinned rimmer red dwarf. mobius kinned... morbius forbidden planet. obviously. klein refused to put his kins on it. DID DALA KIN FROM DANGANRONPA

i think at one point we had a half-joking hc where klein gets nauseous if he sees blood

and then that changed to he can't see others blood, only his own

while borous can't see his own blood, but he's fine seeing other ppl's

i know borous said that gabe barked at everyone, but i think gabe trusts the other tanks because he knows borous does

borous set up a kissing booth with gabe. the crowd goes wild

when the tanks get together they usually go to klein's. he's the leader or something. also he has a fucking bar in his house.

he complains about them the whole time but you can really tell he loves having people over. why else would he deck his house out like that? he LOVES hosting stuff. house husband

if you saw my chart where i said klein would rather die than do dishes, i was so wrong. his house is pristine. its easily the cleanest

klein's love language is acts of service. he goes over to his partners' houses when they feel awful and clean stuff up for them when they can't. he also makes them food if they want it. he only complains a little, but you can tell he's mostly teasing

did you know klein has five mugs in his kitchen in-game. he's literally prepared to host his partners at any given moment.

the group have learned that letting 8 come over when their house is a mess is a Huge mistake. it goes from 8 trying to help "tidy up" to "im going to put your books and albums in alphabetical order by artist also your clothes are going to be hue-sorted"

"8 why are there only 8 books on each of my bookshelves"

"it looks better"

"it literally does not"

8 can no longer stomach going into 0's house

on the other hand, 0 hates staying in 8's house. the ticking of all their clocks is sensory hell

on 80 date nights they have to do rock-paper-scissors for which house they go to. or they go out. they love each other but their houses drive the other fucking nuts

oh speaking of their houses. yes dala said she didn't like Literal Teddy Bears but that is null and void considering she has teddies in her house

and she has 5 on her bed. five of them :)

she named all of them after her partners! its mostly cute but there is a slight bit of concern because they know what she does with them <__<

not that 8 has any place to judge. mobius found batteries under its pillow once. all 8 said was "they can vibrate." mobius regrets touching them.

i don't know what to say about dala's mannequins i don't have anything funny im just scared

WHY ARE 0 AND KLEIN THE ONLY ONES WITH BATHROOMS IT DRIVES ME INSANE 0'S BATHTUB ISNT EVEN LAYING DOWN ITS AGAINST THE WALL WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT GENERATOR IN HIS BATHROOM DO THE OTHER TANKS JUST SHIT OUTSIDE I'M SEEING RED

mobius and 0 are both into robotics, and they worked together to make muggy, so they've had date nights where they mainly tinker with electronic things.

0 gets very excited when he makes a breakthrough, and seeing that warms mobius's heart. mobius made a habit of kissing 0 on the forehead or squeezing 0 into a hug when they figure things out.

(0 remembers he likes men.) 😳

dala/klein date nights are essentially just them drinking and gossiping chatting

i asked polycule for some more, so here are ones from your local think tank kinnies

borous -

"klein and borous both like classical music in very different ways. klein mostly likes it to feel smart (see: wheatley) but he just started associating it with the others so it felt nicer And borous just likes it bc hes borous"

klein also likes jazz, but so do all the rest of them

8 has a cochlear implant

"dala likes dressing up to look pretty (see: runway) but is personally embarrassed by it (until she gets encouragement) bc she feels like the others dont support that"

"0 loves collecting and reading those stupid magazines with the birthday party products and themes that ud wanna buy from as a kid but are way too expensive"

"mobius has a secret love for puppetry and will try to bring it up sometimes whenever he can. hes made 3 separate sets of the other tanks as puppets and they freak 0 out"

"borous, in an attempt to better his faults, has started learning from dala and 8 on how to take care of plants instead of what he did before. his basement turns into a cool little green house cozy cuddle area"

"to add on: 8 gardens to cope whenever hes alone bc (projects onto ur kin) he mood drops very fast when alone"

"mobius likes dressing in cozy sweaters and fancy stuff"

0 -

"0 doesn't like anal that much" (thanks.)

dala -

"their new rap album called boyz in the tanks" (THANKS.)

and to top things off, :) here are the normal names for them all, created primarily by our borous kinnie

klein - Ernest Klein (nicknamed ernie)

mobius - Wilbert Mobius (nicknamed bert)

borous - James H. Borous (nicknamed jamie)

dala - Dala Theodore (HER NICKNAME IS TEDDY ITS GENIUS)

8 - Emmett Handley (nicknamed 8 + emmy)

0 - Robert O'Barrick (nicknamed 0/O + robbie (HIM SHARING HOUSE'S NAME IS INTENTIONAL. HE'S TRANS HE PICKED HIS NAME WHY DID HE DO THIS))

#tech.txt #old world blues

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wariocompany · 3 years

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hey i hope this doesnt come across as antagonistic or in bad faith bc i genuinely do like you as a person and have followed you for years but that post you made about thinking you were bi for being attracted to transfems is a wildly bad look. im a lesbian and have been with transfem and cis partners and like i dont know but. i think that is your own trasmisogyny out in the light. bc cis gay and cis lesbians and cis straight people have trans partners too and associating genitalia with attraction isn’t smth ive seen solely associated with bisexuality at all. in fact ive actually only seen terfs say it when they say theyre bi but “only attracted to women and trans women” (yes there are terfs that date trans girls can you believe this shit)

like im genuinely not trying to accuse you of anything but I do think that line of thinking was transmisogyny on your part and idk it’s just fucked up to me a trans guy had that line of thinking bc I feel like other trans people should know better then to associate what’s in your pants with attraction . a cishet woman dating a trans male is still straight and a cishet man dating a trans woman is too. same with cisgay people with their trans partners. idk. like please reconsider how you view transfeminine bodies bc I feel like someone that held such a transphobic line of thinking for so long should not be making “women and real women” jokes

Hey anon, I appreciate you taking the time to send this to me, and it doesn't appear antagonistic at all - to the contrary! Nonetheless I hope you can understand what I have to say to this. It wasn't Literally Only being attracted to trans girls that made me think I was bi - I've dated several boys before too, mostly because I was hoping it would "fix me" and turn me back into a girl. Every time I'd get quite distant from the guy at best due to not actually having any true interest; once I accepted I was not going to be "fixed" I was able to be happy as a straight guy.

It was merely that another factor was being told that straight people tended to have genital preferences, and the fact that I didn't was probably thanks to being bi. It was not the cause of me thinking I was bi but a large part of me thinking it was my only option as far as self identification is concerned. For all I know it is only TERFs saying this is the case, but that would mean just about every well meaning cis person I know is a TERF which seems.. wildly unlikely? This is coming from like. My guy friends who will reassure me "there's always bi girls and straight girls who don't care, no reason to think you'll never find a girlfriend" etc etc. I doubt any of them even know what being a TERF means. It is also just a proven fact that most het women don't wanna date a trans guy - IIRC the stats sit at something like 3% of het guys wanting to date trans girls and 1% of het girls wanting to date trans guys, and I'm sure the stats go lower when asked about if they haven't had bottom surgery. That sort of mentality makes it very easy to think not having genital preferences is largely due to being bisexual.

As such, I feel the issue of miscommunication here is a confusion of cause and effect? The conjecture that lack of preference made me bisexual was effect, not cause, of my former bisexual identification.

If I am genuinely transmisognynistic due to having missed the point somehow I welcome being told how and what I can do to remedy it, as I take that stuff incredibly seriously. In addition, I'm extremely sorry for any transmisogyny I have perpetrated in the past or present, as that's totally unacceptable and not what I stand for in the slightest. This notwithstanding, that post was seriously just one facet of a wildly complicated story and the stuff I choose to say on a whim online is by no means the whole picture, and making character judgements like that it like judging a stranger for how they act on a bus.

Thank you very much, anon. If there's something else I need to address please let me know.

#hi de ho #transmisogyny ment

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honeymoonjin · 4 years

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hi sora!! i am a very very baby gay and i was wondering if you have any wlw song recs?? 🥺

omg sit down baby i got you

-girls like girls by hayley kiyoko was mY coming out song i would be on the bus chanting in my head “IM REAL AND I DONT FEEL LIKE BOYS” it slaps

-night go slow by catey shaw makes me so unbelievably soft, the mv is mega cute and the lyrics are really beautiful 0.0 i wanna slow dance to this song

-nights with you by mo is a really cool alternative vibe (??i dont really know music terms kdsjfk)

-pussy is god by king princess try and get me to shut up about this song. i won’t. YOU KNOW THAT ITS GOD BABY WHEN UR AROUND HER, IVE BEEN PRAYING FOR HOURS but if ur religious this one may not be for you

-holy by zolita speaking of religious this is ur classic catholic girls high school slash salem witch hunt anthem and im so down the mv is so good too

-take me to church by hozier absolute madlad releasing a song w feminine pronouns making the music industry think it was a safe song about hets but o h n o this is sung in the perspective of a woman and the lyrics are GORGEOUS

-curious by hayley kiyoko for all ur inevitable struggles of ‘is that girl actually sapphic or is she just blurring the lines of friendship’

-jolene by dolly parton no i will not elaborate

-clementine by halsey she mentions girls like once but can u imagine going on a gay date to an aquarium w a pretty girl and ur also both a little depressed or manic? that’s this song

-pynk by janelle monae everyone else go home all i need is janelle and tessa thompson in a pink aesthetic mv celebrating all diff types of women, specifically women who love other women and it’s catchy and summery af

some generally lgbtq+ music that i highly recommend:

-we exist by arcade fire it feels like there are so few songs by or about trans people that i come across, but this one just hits so close to home for me as a lesbian, and i can only imagine that feeling’s way stronger when you are a trans person or a person w gender fluidity

-stigma by bts honestly this one is for the gays taehyung really outsold and u better familiarise urself w that high note too

-pass this on by the knife is a lil off-beat and strange and has so many different possible meanings, but one strong theory is that it’s from a gay man who crossdresses. i just feel like it’s a super interesting perspective and there’s so much vulnerability in the lyrics even when the music itself is very retro poppy (again idk music terms fkdsj)

-harm of will by bjork i think this is potentially the most beautiful and haunting song i’ve ever heard in my life and i’ll never recover. bjork is my fav artist ever and this song is created from a poem written by a gay man who’s in a relationship w another gay man, and finds out that his lover is publicly getting into a relationship w a woman to avoid suspicion. i can’t recommend this one enough, there’s so much pain and beauty in it.

okay enjoy !!!! i hope that gives you somewhere to start xxx

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folsense · 5 years

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im thinking rly hard about my sexuality and i might be gay. lmao my feelings are so weird like this sounds so bad but even as a lesbian i had a crush on 2 ppl who previously identified as women and one of them came out as a trans guy after we dated and the other one came out as nonbinary

the only women i rly have crushes on are fictional. and out of all the fictional crushes ive had, the only one that might be authentic is misa from death note LMAO and idk if its even a crush so much as “shes so adorable and i love her character”

and this also sounds bad but when i identified as a lesbian i had crushes on men but i would act like they werent legit bc i didnt want to change my identity as a lesbian bc that would mean i had to realize i was trans..... and i was very opposed to dating a man because i very strongly didnt want to date a man as a woman

THINGS THAT MAKE U GO Hmm

#puzzle.txt

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menalez · 6 months

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"Idk a lot of ppl just aren't attracted to poc" Actually "a lot of people" just aren't attracted to white people, because surprise! There are billions more "poc" in the world than there are of powhite. So assuming what anon really meant was "a lot of WHITE people just aren't attracted to poc" then, I mean, yeah - statistically every ethnicity prefers to date within their race. Whiteness is seen as an exotic attraction in most parts of the world, for either sex of all sexual orientations. And of course it's also seen as "leveling up" bc of the global power imbalance (although this isn't necessarily an accurate view). Most people in my life think I'm "out there" for having dated white before, bec they never would've chosen to. My current partner admitted to me years ago that they never found white people (women, in this case) attractive. Many of my straight friends would never date a white man, and my lesbian friends tend to prefer dating either within or closely around their own ethnicities. Sorry to burst you white western bubble, anon, but most people "wouldn't date white" based on stats alone.

Oh and women are not male, btw, in reference to your clumsy little "just like no interest in trans women teehee" moment. Non-white women are female and often deeply feminine, die mad about it.

hmm it might be a very different case where you're from, but what youve said honestly does not apply to my experience. im from asia (middle east speciically) & ive learned very early on that the beauty standards are basically... being white. u could be the ugliest white person and youd be deemed hot purely bc ur european. theyre beauty standards instilled from colonisation & white supremacy but it basically exists in nearly all, if not all, of asia. colourism is a major issue and racism against ourselves persists-- so white people are highly preferred where im from and in the countries near me and countries in east asia as well like where my gf is from. sure, white is in a way considered 'exotic', except not Really bc we have enough western media and our celebs that are deemed most beautiful tend to be the most white-passing people of us so i dont think exotic is the go-to word people would use about white people where im from, at least.

but sure, yes, anon is right that a lot of people aren't attracted to us. not bc its super innate to only find white ppl attractive and/or we're just less attractive inherently or something. its because of white beauty standards having been spread to a lot of the world and whiteness being equated with beauty. white people hold these standards themselves very often-- hence why i say strictly finding other white people attractive often is rooted in racism for white people. its not a preference that appeared out of thin air, its a part of larger social messaging.

that said, its really the least of our problems who white people are attracted to when white people are still mistreating us in actually significant ways. focusing on those kinds of things is like, idk, focusing on the word 'woman' having man in it when women are facing femicide. like, okay sure thats not good and points to a larger issue but maybe we should start by fighting the larger issue, yknow?

also plenty of poc aren't into white people but, at least from my experience, for most of us it is rooted in white people being shoved in our faces as the standard of beauty all the time & in white people often being racist or mistreating us. i grew up crushing on women like britney spears,, my preferences changed bc of my experiences not bc its innate for me not to be into white women

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