#transness fits into this equation somehow

[ruvi-muffin]

Can a bunch of ppl just kiss me already so i can know if im gay or not please

#muffin rambles #like #okay so #what throws me off is how sertain i was that i was bi a couple yrs agi #like i would look at men and go yes am bi #ans now i look at men and go #hhhhhhhhh idk how to feeeellll #when i thought i was straight in 2013 i thought for sure that the discomfort i experienced w men was just nervousness and fear of commitme #but then it was öike #lady henlooo #then it just kept happeninf #and never happened w a guy ever again #my attraction to men has been at the same level my entire life whereas w wwomen it been increason steadily i feel like #but a l s o #transness fits into this equation somehow #would i date a trans woman?? would i date a trans man?? idk ive not met many trans ppl #my type is nerdy bi women judging by my history #sexuality is fake yall like how many ppl actually have enough of a pattern to go yes this is what i am #its questioning o clock again #WHY DO I FEEL WEIRD

[lindwurm-prince]

Yo I'm the trans dude sending asks to the astralex whatever their URL is. I find it odd that this person like somehow respects my gender and yet invalidates my homosexuality?? I don't understand the logic.

(sorry I took so long to answer I forgot this was in my inbox)

seems like that person is using an archaic misinterpretation of sexuality. sexuality isn’t about sex as in “biology/intercourse”. The “sex” in sexuality refers to gender, since that word was used for a long time to mean gender. Nowadays it’s really only used to mean sexual acts, so if you heard someone say “the sex of men” you’d think of men having sex, not the male gender.

So really, they aren’t validating your gender at all, because they seem to think that “trans man” is just another form of woman, and I guess they’re just humoring you because they don’t want to think about how transness contradicts their shallow view of sexuality. Terfs and transphobes reduce people’s relationships to their parts, and even if they say “oh it’s okay to be trans”, they still don’t believe being trans is a thing and they are fairly aggressive about not wanting trans people in their spaces.

Sexual orientation is about attraction, romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction (this is why I don’t like the Split Attraction Model but that’s a whole other thing to debate haha). Some people get this wrong and think that it’s about genitals and how a person physically has sex. That’s the problem that causes terfs/transphobes to reject and erase trans people: they think of sexual orientation as all about fucking, and trans people don’t neatly fit into that equation. I guess they don’t want to cause fights though, so lots of times I see them being like “oh ok you’re trans that’s cute” but still thinking of it as the trans person’s “fantasy”.

Anyway, that person is a confused pretentious asshole. Your gender is valid, and since gender is what matters when defining someone’s sexuality, your sexuality is valid too. It’s creepy as hell that someone would feel like they need to know what’s in your pants to identify the nature of your relationship.

#ask answered