#and never happened w a guy ever again

[sluckythewizard]

SHHH SH HEYYY HEY DONT TELL ANYONE BUT... ive been workin on smth since BITB came out..... itsa lil musical animatic involvin kian and becky.... ITS NO WHERE NEAR DONE YET but loooook look im puttin lil screenshots under the cut. its supposed to go along with Am I In Heaven? by King Gizzard n the Lizard Wizard. infact yknow what cmere come sit with be bc ALOT of songs from the 'IM IN YOUR MIND FUZZ' album makes me think about becky and kian. oh my god. those two make me so damn emotional. like Her and I was the first one to rly resonate with me, and EMPTY was another good one, all just stuff about. yknow LOVE!! doomed by the narrative yet burning SO SO brightly in its last moments, holding hands, playing music, THEY WERE SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT THE COPY OF THEM LOVED YOU, AND YOUR COPY LOVES THEM TOO. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, CRUMBLING, BURNING, HISSING, SQUIRMING, MELTING, CLICKING LOVE STORY..

GET OVER HERE N SCREAM WITH MEEE I LOVE SCREAMING ABOUT THINGS

#THIS IS A DRAFT that i made like. months ago. woopsie. #BUT IM CHIPPING AWAY AT IT AGAIN. IT CANT STAY UNFINISHED FOREVER. ONE DAY YOU WILL ALL SEE! YOULL ALL SSSEEEE!!!!!!! #no reblogs either this stays between US!!!!!!!!!! #and if you guys like it enough i might post an old fuckin wip i have all packaged together on youtube. its a VIDEO it goes w the MUSIC!! #SOUND WITH THE MOVING IMAGE?? IVE ONLY EVER DONE IT ONCE!!! #ill post the Lord of Lightning animatic i made on tumblr when i get the chance. in the meantime i ahve it posted on twitter. GO FETCH #but THIS SECOND ONE is out there.. all synced together.. #but its a wip and its rough and old and scuffed and i HATE IT. my son whom i wish was dead #but you can see it. for the small small price of uh. begging. #also ouuhh my god i love becky and kian so much... they make me so emotional.. SOMETHING ABT DOOMED SHIPS... #even as the boat sinks these two clung together so tightly. they really really did love eachother so much. even after ten years of ROTTING #of sitting and waiting and wondering 'where is she?' is she lost? hurt? did something happen? is she okay? did she even want to be here? #does she hate me? did she leave because she hated me? she never wanted to see me again? where is she? where is she? guess ill write a song #FOR TEN YEARS. when i was just busy. i was distracted. so much came up. things got serious. my dream became clear and i had to chase it #i didnt know you were waiting. im sorry. i should have chased the thought of you more. but i was busy. i was just busy. #i wish that i could apologize with the throat that was my own. i hope this copy will suffice. i hope this copy will suffice. UGH

[songtwo]

idk i think my bf might be developing a drinking problem and i just don’t know what to do…..

#it’s been going on for a couple of months now but he promised he would stop and he had been doing well until today…. #and it’s like. on one hand i never wanted to be w an alcoholic and i told him straight so he promised it would stop #but on the other hand i can’t just abandon him #and it’s like we used to go out a lot and party but like. that was it but ever since he met this guy he just gets lost when he drinks w him #and the thing was he got like aggressive like he didn’t do anything to me and i can’t really explain it but he just wasn’t himself #and like. we talked about it a million times and it’s not like it happens every week #it’s been like 5 times since december #but 3 have been on the past month alone #and two weeks ago it got bad like he almost got into an accident #and like i’m not even physically w him anymore like we really only see each other once a week since i moved #and from the very first time it happened i told him i couldn’t be w him if it kept happening #and after that incident two weeks ago he swore it was the last time but it just happened again #by the way he and that guy get wasted it really is a miracle they get home alive #and like. idk what to do #i really don’t want to be w someone like this #and i hate feeling like this like if i were to think only about myself i don’t want this i hate feeling like this #but i also can’t abandon him #like not even bc i would miss him or whatever i just wouldn’t feel good leaving him alone #but like i don’t want to live like this #maybe i’ll ask for some time to just figure things out #but it’s gonna suck so bad bc we were supposed to see kendrick lamar next week and then we already had plans for his bday and omfg #i don’t wanna leave but i don’t want things to be like this either #and i asked him to stop and gave him multiple chances but idk #i just don’t know what to do #i love him endlessly but i need to put myself first but i can’t abandon him:( #and our 1.5 anniversary was also next week….. #but i think time is the sanest and safest thing right now

[girlcrushau]

#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/ #but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to. #until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you) #and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text. #i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in. #just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me. #im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest. #and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

[stupid-dyke]

stayed up til 3 when I have an 8am again. I do this because I hate myself so sos sososososososososo much. It's really funny because I don;t fall asleep in class thanks to my meds but I've noticed every time I go to class after 4 hrs sleep people act weird around me which is how I know im acting really weird. And I am so extremely angry at myself. I spent 4 hours. well 8 hours. Well all day. Pretending I'm going to do homework and distracting myself with various other things on my laptop or crying on the phone to my parents. Got zerooooo work done at all i stayed up most of the nihght for literally no gain whatsoever this is pure self harm. Which I do becauase again I hate myself. Because I didn't do my work. Which i won't do tomorrow either because i'll be so tired I wont be able to string a sentence together even though I'm supposed to give a presentation haha. My favorite activity is staring at the clock on my laptop getting later and later and later. new high score etc. Who's a hypersomniac now. Imagine how much easier this semester would have been if I'd gone to bed before 2am ever. I'm so fucking angry at myself I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep now even. If I fail my classes again my parents are gonna make me live at home forever and say im too crazy to live on my own. I know I was supposed to get a therapist but I hate them all so, so, so much. I think people get that job bc they feel powerful telling some pathetic person what to do knowing I literally cannot do it and will come back week after week admittingn failure and paying

I know I was supposed to take the new experimental FDA approved drug for IH but the list of side effects is fucking terrifying and I live and sleep alone so i really don't want to take a super powerful sedative that can make you stop breathing. So I'm gonna keep taking stimualnts and lying to myself that today is the last day I stay up extremely late for no reason.

#it's really sad I'll skip the meds sometimes to try to sleep and it doesn't even help. I just feel worse while awake. #The real reason i can't sleep is because im screwing myself over by doing no work and im terrified im going to fail my fucking classes #and theyre all going to say im crazy if I fail my classes. theyre going to say im crazy and I self sabotaged on purpose #bc i dont want to succeed. Dad says that every day #Dad loves telling me everytjhing wrong with me multiple times a day every day so i never ever forget #hes so helpful. He's trying so hard to help. If i dont answer the phone he starts worrying ive committed suicide #again i was suicidal one week in 2019. Get the fuck over it. You've literally threatened to kill yourself multiple times. Fucking hypocrite #a bunch of my friends are going to graduate this semester and best case scenario i graudate next semester and then I'll lose touch with eve #ybody #and then the good times are over and life is boring and hell forever and ill get more disabled every year until I can't work and then I'll #run out of money and die #you know when I talked to my genetics professor about the alzheimer's results he said somethign will kill you eventually and it #wont be that unless you live to old age which will be good! #so true bestie. so ture #Guys lets be real here. Why the fuck. Do we live. why. It is so goddamn hard. Maybe it;s easy when u get sleep . But that hasn't happened t #me for a while #all my classes end next week and i havent done most assignments since spring break #also over spring break my parents met w a lawyer to revise their will adn afterwards dad told me im executor and explained to me what will #happen after each person in my family dies. #the assumption is that I will outlive everyone. they don't think my sister will live to old age adn they are already old #the lawyer apparently has clients with the same disability as me and all of them had the same thing happen. Once they get another disabilit #and get older it becomes impossible to manage IH and they cant work til retirement age #i just spent an hour typing this shit instead of sleeping. 4am-730am sleep lets go. I should kill myself #i hate my parents fucking advicce bc they;; be like well when i was ur age I was married it sure must suck to be single!!!! fuck you guys f

[khattikeri]

everyone shut up abt 3zun toxic yaoi for a minute I feel like chengning is a very underrated contender

#keri chats #mdzs #chengning #listen. listen. you x your dead brother's loyal feral zombie attack dog friend #you x your loyal dead necromancer bestie's bitter snide prissy brother whom u are just itching to yell at someday u know it'll happen #the hatred is fairly mutual and while wn is mostly benign he does let a lot of irritation simmer and fester beneath the surface #take this post with a grain of salt btw this isn't discourse bait i just love the dynamic and think it'd be funny to transplant #into a modern &/or generally low stakes AU #jiang cheng drunk after a party: I hope you wens all die in a vat of hot oil #wen ning designated driver professional Tuck Drunkards Into Bed guy: [meditational inhale and exhale] #wn: U THINK WWX REVIVED UR DEAD TAMAGOTCHI? EVER WONDER WHY HE NEVER PLAYED W HIS OWN AGAIN? jc: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

[strwbrymlkshake]

Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

#mine #oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times #but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry #like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie #im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc #i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me #thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related #anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that #ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired #// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always #because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life #like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing #me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little #so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die #every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt. #well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he #is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him #every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again #but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh #i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT #I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time #like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me #he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do #he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away

[unproduciblesmackdown]

fr both taylor's quants as mirrors to themself. rian Seen as so meritous and deserving and talked to and tasked with and advised and considered but apparently rian's whole thing is going "huh. wha" and having wendy's level of self-reflection (none). winston who is begrudgingly allowed to sit in his corner and ignored b/c he's undeserving so he can't really be meritous and nobody would look in that mirror b/c it's gonna be So not their reflection. while he just won't stop cassandraing and having all these insights and perception and observations nobody even asked or told him to have and is peak taylor understander and just like taylor: isn't guided by a paper-thin ego but also will take criticism / blame / mistreatment Too Much for his own good

#winston billions #the tragedy of the Lose Lose imbalanced [rian is ostensibly a character but actually a plot device] [winston: ostensible plot device but #actually a character] like yknow we could even some of this out a little. but also once again billions' handling of Gender Things.... #that's (mostly) all an issue on rian's side of the Quants Who Are Also You scales #(it's also ofc still relevant re: winston; or anyone; and especially wrt Autistic Character but that's gonna be beyond billions) #(even [society if nonbinary rian] aside like. thinking you simply have one of your rare Cis Women Characters here....come on) #give rian a little more of that '''''worse''''' treatment that would let her be more Funny Little Guy as lets winston be more characterful #even transcending the [they won't give him an arc or C plot that's actually about him or anything] limitations #meanwhile again like Lmfao rian was Meant to be important but that's Only meant taking part in Other People's Plots as [device] #being a plot device is a way to use characters it's not like Inherently Bad but like lmao. rian doesn't get to do anything herself For Real #AND all the plot devicery means she's never gotten to have consistent enough motivations or like. traits to be An Character. #winston's writing is so [here he is to do little a expositing. butt of the joke. minor plot device] that he has way more room to like #just be idiosyncratic & Not have that yanked around by ''prominence''....it happens to All billions characters but it's So bad w/rian #like i can go ''this feels like it's Too Far serving the plot or conflict at the expense of character'' other times w/other roles but like #that'll then also be isolated enough to just ignore. w/rian it's like spent that whole time doing multivariable calculus waiting on more #info more context to conclude anything abt what she's even Basically supposed to be like. even my more generous theories can't hold up #and based on precedent i don't have much hope that remaining [i guess this could be a quality of hers] will either (a) not be contradicted #or (b) get to actually mean anything in any of her arcs which ig now get to be about the [nothing] that is [pay disrespects] #winston isn't bound to get a real arc even last minute but he'll still have felt like more of a character #rian doomed by intending ''importance'' from the start & that they don't seem to have ever had the idea of any more solid foundation #and that billions going ''gender; huh?'' can be like. rian has to go away now; we needed her vagania for diluted cishet man sex scandal #well i for one am really reflecting on Women In The Workplace(tm) now & for what. rian funnier littler guy winston Ever getting a C plot... #a superior tmc timeline....and like as ever rian can be shitty that'd be fine. but if it Means Nothing b/c billions either goes [nuh uh] #and/or b/c either way it just does Nothing with it. that then Is Not character material for her; it more so is For Winston suffering it.... #most likely to end with billions just agreeing rian Was so specially meritous & deserving & winston was too cringefail (autistic) to live #even if we get anything Alright / given consideration & care in his material....which will in turn be like eh. as ever; will take it lol #plus ofc fascinating like. can't draw a hard line b/w the Writing & the Performance but still wondering how much of winston's idiosyncrasy #and that sense of character is big time via will's acting. definitely got that foundation in that the Writing = quant kid 2; one-off joke #and the Performance of that material = furiously writing in multiple winston scenes & despite it all bringing him all the way into s7 #but he's autistic & typecast so also our hands are tied. could've had more for Either/Both quants; which = more for taylor by extension. f

[irlnikeiyomiuri]

guys did i ever tell u abt my bestie in 8th grade. we were so fucking close genuinely attached at the hip and then we went into ninth grade and covid, and then i saw him again at senior hoco and it was great and then i saw him at senior prom and it was fucking nasty he ain’t even greet me even though we hung out w the same group of people the whole night.

#it frankly wasn’t that bad. he didn’t like. push me off the boat or anything #however i had such a miserable start to prom. twas salt in the wound. #he just overnight hated me. very sad !!! #there’s other things that happened that i’m omitting solely because i ramble a lot. #like. not to try and make myself look good- i’m not excluding anything i’ve done #the only interactions we had over quarantine were me reaching out like hi i hope ur doing wellll #it was literally between hoco and prom. he decided he haaaated me. #silly tho ! bc when i came out to him (in 8th grade) he just popped off abt how he could never like a trans guy #which was very odd.- hey did i ever mention that people used to always say i was flirting w their older brothers. #when i was like. in elementary school. and didn’t understand what that term even meant. #may b he thought i was flirting thats smthn that’s crossed my mind before. but i don’t think so #bc i had explicitly told him that i had crushed on him wayyy prior + currently wanted the best for him #but thought he was a loser (affectionate) and did not want to date him now we were besties. and told him this like #months before coming out. and besides y would u make someone coming out abt their perceived crush on u ? #if that was his train of thought. very very odd. but again i don’t think that was the case . #an e ways. so sillies !!!!! #just thinking abt that. i wonder if he got into the college he wanted to go to…

[ambreiiigns]

i wanna be someone who listens to misfits full time again wtf is ghost

#i used to be so cool. i used to be my brother's inspirations and goals. now he sees me and cringes and he's right #hsnckajdja joking. but also no #i feel like i finished the main game (cool iconique music) and now i'm doing the silly but way funnier side quests (ghost) #i mean ghost is not a bad band by all means. but they are so silly. i for one cannot take them seriously. never could #i thot they'd sound like repugnant back in the day then i heard like ritual and dance macabre and pissed my pants at the contrast between #the sound and the look and the purpose of the contrast. i respect them and love them but God they are so funny #i don't know how to phrase this. i don't even know what point i'm trying to make #but i do miss the music i listened to in high school. i lost so many songs #<- cons of only listening to music by downloading it to my phone is that sometimes when changing phones or sd cards you mess up #bc you're stupid and useless w technology and lose 500000000 songs and the thought of having to find them again is #anxiety inducing so you kinda give up on listening to them ever again. lol #like i was listening to so much guns n roses... misfits.... iron maiden..... metallica.... tool.... idk just those cool person bands #and now i hardly ever hear them and i actually miss them a lot :( #thankfully my brother has been following my footsteps so far and he's currently in his pink floyd tool era so i'm re-living those days #thru him but. i just miss it. i need to download everything again someday #the only bitch who survived the changing phone & sd card purge was alice cooper. i went and downloaded everything again #i will NEVER give up on that old man he's my favorite music guy in the world #i also was just starting out w him when it happened tho so i didn't have a lot of catching back up to do but STILL. alice cooper forever #and ever 100 years alice cooper love that guy to death and hell #oh nay #ignore this. i've been feeling nostalgic

[nyxi-pixie]

the most important thing abt noah coming out is that the people going 'hehe how does our fav strAIGHT frat boy play that fucking gayass so well??😱😱' had to stfu😁👍

#its annoying when people do it abt anyone tbh #that was so fucking irritating lmfaoooo #me omw to remind the masses of hets and chronically online 12yr old queers whove never met a gay person irl that we're not a monolith🤩 #it doesnt escape my notice that yall say it more violently the second anyone so much as iMPLIES that they mighy not be straight #'speculating is bad' yes! but shockingly! yelling to the moon + back that them being not straight is impossible is not the best alternative #and perpetuates every dumbass stereotype #im so tired #also if you say hey maybe stop insisting theyre str8 for no reason every 5 seconds for a cheap joke abt the queer character they play #then everyone immediately is frothing at the mouth holding a chainsaw to ur throat #def not indirecting anyone w this😟 #i dont even remember who it was but someone was always putting those stupid noah straightest man in the world jokes on my dash #n i just used to stare at them like holy shit u guys are gonna be shocked when u encounter gay ppl outside of the internet. #my tags ran away from me again #but i hope u guys Hear Me on this shit bc this happens w every celebrity ever #and then ppl turn around and pretend the problem was ppl thinking they might be queer #instead of ppl refusing to believe theyre anything other than straight #anyway. #am a little late to posting abt him i know😔 have been so ia here recently but i saw it when it happened and am vv proud of him #<33 just to get a little of track at the end here #but yeah hes lovely and i wish people who were insisting he was straight would understand him as an examole that gay ppl arent all the same #but they wont cos they immediately turn to going 'omgggg our fav slayqueen i always knew hehehehe he just looks so fruitsalad' #heed my warnings i am a conduit of rage and violence and one day im going to use it on those ppl #oh fuck this was so many tags i am an unrestrained tag menace #a tennis if you will #aha like the game #anyway #byler #(<- it isnt but this is where i was seeing 'Straight Frat Boy Noah could never be gay' posts so.) #(not most of you tho<333 just a few) #right im going back to reading this 700k word fic from another fandom when will i return to tumblr?? who knows. not me

[hua-fei-hua]

also i love unreliable narrators a normal amount

#been reading 'the basic eight' which is the debut novel of the guy who wrote asoue and is smth i've been wanting to read #for a while now for 1. being an epistolary novel 2. a satire 3. set in high school and 4. having an unreliable narrator #and it's sooooo fun trying to figure out where the cracks in flannery's story are and what she's trying to make look like the truth #and also the parallels btwn certain characters' relationships is fucking riveting #the book was published in 1999 so the story takes place in the 90s so every so often i'm taken out of the narrative by that #at least twice-- once when they didn't mention 9/11 when having a dinner party on sept 11th (and then i was like 'OHHHHHH. RIGHT.') #(lol consequence of being born in 2001) #and another time when flannery mentioned being able to figure out the time by looking in an almanac for that day's dawn time #and for a moment i was like 'huh? but you could just google--RIGHT.' and never have i ever been more acutely aware #of my own blind spots and assumptions and the tech i take for granted bc i grew up with it and it's kinda awesome actually #and you can get the sense that the writing is dense w/meaning in the same way asoue was also dense with meaning #packed with classical references and lines that seem throwaway and then come back again later like AAAA #i love the way flannery's obvious unreliability makes you actively think abt everything presented in the novel as you're reading it #i love how you can never quite tell what's being presented as unedited journal and what's being rewritten in the future #and perhaps i'm easier to fool about this bc i write in my diary in a similar manner where it feels like it has narrative structure #but i also try to be completely honest about who said what and when and so when flan the narrator does deliberately remind us #that she's editing this in post and ofc that couldn't have happened in the moment i'm like 'oh! right!' #anyway yeah just love it bc it feels like an extremely engaging read; it's like a pumpkin full of meat for my enrichment #花話

[imaginarianisms]

1 day i will make a meta of sansa's dynamic with her metaphorical champions/suitors & how that correlates to the ashford theory (i.e sansa being betrothed to joffrey baratheon, then promised to willas tyrell, then being married to tyrion lannister, then being married to harry hardying then married to aegon vi targaryen & aurane velaryon but it is not this day. lmao. when i make that meta it'll be so over for y'all.

#out of the galaxy. || ooc. #just know that. she never marries after aurane. btw lmao #like if he like g-d forbid ever died before she did she'd like. literally never marry or love again like. thats it lmfao #but anyway like. she has a complicated relationship w/ all of them tbh & reflects on them sometimes. #she obviously hates joffrey for him abusing her but like. she can't help but feel sad for him at times bc like. he was so young. #if he had the right people around him maybe he would've turned out okay eventually. but it didnt happen. she never met willas but sometimes #she wondered what it would've been like to be lady of highgarden but she hopes he's doing alright. her dynamic w/ tyrion is. complicated #like. he was never like openly cruel to her or anything & she's grateful to him for saving her life & standing up for her but like. #there's always that grief surrounding their families & i think she resented & mostly afraid of him at the time but in hindsight she's+ #grateful that he never hurt her or forced himself on her. harry she hardly knew unfortunately but like she disliked him at first #but then he actually seemed to warm up to her & she had him tied around her lil finger but she knows that she wouldn't like to be married+ #to a guy who actually has children w/ sb else. like. she's seen how that played out & while she wouldn't be mean it makes her uncomfortable #but especially surrounding aegon bc like. she's not naive enough to say she loved him but like. she actually LIKED him #like. while she was wary of him at first she warmed up to him & genuinely respected him as a person & most importantly aegon was her FRIEND #they got along rly well due to their similar upbringings & what they had to do to survive & like. he's actually a decent guy in canon. lmao #he's handsome & was chivalrous & honorable & sweet w/ her but also like batshit insane in a good way. like. #he was the golden prince she always wanted since she was a little girl; the prince that joffrey was supposed to be but never was. #he gave her a future as queen of westeros that was originally HERS. so when daenerys eventually executes him she has mixed feelings about i #aegon was good to her & she'd vowed not to betray him & she actually intended to keep that vow. to her she was forever in his debt+ #he gave her a future from her isolation & suffering @ winterfell bc of how much everything changed & he waited for her to love him back. #he actually showed her respect & gave her a solid future when she felt alone & abandoned & led her gently into a world of his own making+ #& gave her back her honor & a future. esp when the north was divided between jon rickon & herself. most preferred jon or rickon over her. #without aegon's intervention she probably would've had to marry some northern lord below her station. the winterfell succession crisis wild #but aurane velaryon? that's the love of her life. her bold captain. he taught her how to love & coaxed her in the sun to bloom & freed her. #freed her from the chains of her family obligations. he taught her to break the rules of tradition & follow her heart & trust her instincts #he was there with her in her darkest hour. he quite literally saved her life & defended her honor when no one else had the balls to do that #no one looks @ or touches her the way aurane does she loved him madly truly & deeply he took her girlhood in his stride but when autumn cam #she escaped & had to push him into the deepest recesses of her mind in the name of survival & pragmatism but she never stopped loving him. #& his sweet memory brought too much heartache & bittersweetness for her. she lowkey waited for him for years. & they EVENTUALLY reunited ! #he fought & got legitimized for HER. she's. so genuinely happy w/ that man. he's one of her best friends & the father to her children.

[piningprecussionist]

(ooc)

I want you all to know that if I had the energy for it. There are so many posts stored in my drafts I long to queue... but neglected to preemptively tag, despite knowing I am Like This....

Anyway, there is a slight chance the queue might run out tomorrow unless I can get more responses in there-- I am,, tired,,

#(<- accidentally took a 3 hour nap instead of continuing to work on art and edits for answers today) #((well. yesterday. semantics.)) #there are like. 3 or 4 posts I REALLY want to queue SO SO BADLY from when i was going through older blogs before. but. the source links... #they're all broken... or in the case of one gif- the poster noted that they had no idea who made the gif #and i like to give credit where credit is due. yknow? #((one of them is this little scott and kim interaction and I am like Gripping My Head in Anguish with how I so long to queue it....)) #((i need more scott and kim content. not even talking ship stuff you guys please just give me them bickering i will love you forever)) #(i mean i do have little things w them i can draw myself. but then I have to do it... so i like it less... /hj) #((i need money in a transferable format. so I can. commission more of them hanging out. this is the solution realistically...)) #((*sighs*)) #anyway. idk this is probably a false alarm again.. I think the last 3 times I've been like ''oh the queue is gonna run out!'' I've managed + #+to find more posts to cram in there. so watch me eat my fucking words i guess shdjdhdbfnddn #i guess if i wanted I could queue more of my screenshots from SPTO E1.... hm... #(we'll see what happens. although i suppose now is your chance to sound off if you want me to do that) #ooc #txt #actually. additional note. some people have before- but if you ever see a post and you're like ''oh! i haven't seen this here yet'' you are+ #+super welcome to send me the post and I'll queue it up. i try to see as much as i can but. we can probably assume which tags i camp out in+ #+more. #(also. sometimes stuff just. doesn't show up in the tags/for me. bc this is a hellsite. 😔) #((love this site though. please never die- tumblr-- maybe just. actually get better for once.... *grimacing at Recent/Ongoing Events*))

[sol-flo]

i'm going to destroy this damn phone

- the boss avoider

#long vent / rant on tags open at your own risk #straight up turned off my phone and put teams on do not disturb because i was TRYING TO WORK and kept getting interrupted by his whining #(he particularly said he needed me to work [read: be at the office. december 22.] while hindering my ability to do so !!!) #like the job is lame and boring and all but as much as i bitch about it i overall don't mind it that much #i was on a nice roll. think i finished this first website draft in record time (it's not very complicated but still. just 2 days) #and i stg i never have any problems with my project heads yknow. it's not a matter of being bad at receiving orders or w/e #and regardless of what he might say the communication problems are not on my end. bc again it doesn't happen w anyone else #i brought it up with him and he said 'well communication is a two way street you have to do it too' but tell me how can i talk to this man #i misunderstand a message he sends bc he never ever details what he wants even after i specifically asked him to yknow #tell me the whole information when he asks something of me #and then i respond based on the message i received and he goes 'well show me where i said that' FUCK YOU #he's always so passive aggressive about it all too #like if you say 'we have to look at the marketing materials to make new social media posts' and then. not tell me anything else #how am i supposed to know that there's a specific folder and you want me to take the text previously written and put it on new images #like that's a whole other sentence my guy you cannot be mad that i thought you wanted me to scour your social media and #make new posts whole cloth. fuck right off i have to put in my notice bc it's impossible to work under a man like this #like forgive me for the expression but he absolutely lacks leadership skills #if you're not good with people you should just delegate those parts to people who are and focus on reading about the metav3rse #GOD. i'll soon be sent to the seaside for my health (new years trip w my friends) but. i won't be on break at all so :grimace: #because there's that too. haven't had a single break except for holidays but like. only the DAY of the holiday #holiday on a thursday and you're expecting a nice four day weekend? well too bad get fucked you're working that friday #like jesus you're not providing anything so important you need to work your employees every legally allowed day of the year #just stop for the holidays! people won't die because someone's website has been delayed for two weeks! #to think i even considered learning frontend to branch my career options. i'm not stepping foot in a tech company again in my life #i mean there's still self important bosses everywhere. my friend's at a marketing agency and god knows the owner is crazy but #the grindset is gonna kill you and i won't let it kill me too.

[toastsnaffler]

i will ALWAYS be salty abt the ed-sheeranification of one ok rock (one of my fave personality-building anecdotes i explain at parties to ppl getting to know me) but the fact is that takas voice is soooo hot he could sing the words on the back of a milk carton to the tune of a t*ylor sw*ft song + id probably still listen to him. sorry

#well actually that isnt true bc i very rarely ever listen to oor anymore. theyve made so much terrible music its tainted their good shit #but like twice a year i go back thru their discography and reminisce over niche syndrome.....a guy can dream #whenever they release new stuff i always get my hopes up theyre gonna go back to their roots and they never do. saaad #but i have this weird grandmotherly love for taka whenever i see him in music videos for his new stuff im like aww how Nice :^) #wish he hadnt outgrown his emo phase but thats ok im glad hes enjoying himself and the band seems to be popular still #.diaries #i do have a big old soft spot for ambitions era even if its kinda mid. its associated w a lot of nice memories i have of my ex #if nothing else i appreciate how earnest their music was around then.... god listening now and i still know All The Lyrics lmfao #still mad they replaced the japanese vers with an english rerecord for release outside of japan tho. that was unnecessary 😐 #maaann my ex had VERY different music taste to me but its sweet how many bands are rose tinted for me bc of them #like theres some stuff i would never have voluntarily listened to. but listening to them talk excitedly carved a niche in my ears #they made me a bunch of playlists for things they found that they thought id like.. i still have some of them saved/backed up #im surprised some of the ogs still exist tbh bc they unfollowed me on spotify + privated/deleted a ton of shit like a year ago #but a couple r still standing.. idk id like to think maybe they left them bc they had some nice memories too. i could never hate them man #SORRY FOR TALKING ABT MY EX AGAIN this music just takes me right back. im v glad we're not dating or in each others lives anymore #but also u cant be that close w someone for that long without them having a lifelong impact on u. or at least i cant anyway #and its nice to remember them fondly sometimes even if we were both cunts to each other. hope theyre doing alright wherever they are #god i need to start dating again its so fun i miss it so much. once im settled in the new place + i have a secure job.... #i mean ik who id LIKE to date but im pretty sure that aint happening lmaooo. ill get over it i love meeting new ppl anyway #okay enough rambling im gonna go make lunch if ur reading this far ily hope ur having a nice day XOXO aaaaand post