#wondering if that's the reason why ppl don't like my art that much i guess among other things

[amngtheflowers]

A small wip stack and a couple of doodles

#granblue fantasy #gbf #granblue #lucilius #lucio #ciofaa #fanart #wips #i've been in such an unhappy place with art lately... ;__; #confusion / discontent / feeling like i've been drawing even my favs wrong this whole time #wondering if that's the reason why ppl don't like my art that much i guess among other things

[kendrixtermina]

Hello.

I stumbled across your blog whilst trying to ease my mind about the whole Rammstein situation. I really have given up trying to reason with it by myself, so I'm not here for that. What I do want is to perhaps share some feelings as someone who was also inspired by Rammstein.

You suggested that you felt embarrassed for having advocated for their work, and I feel the same. I spoke at length at their amazing word choice, the well-considered framing, and just the storytelling in general, and now it all feels very hollow. I feel like I was an idiot. I tell myself the works still stand on their own. That there is too much evidence and consistency across their catalogue to suggest this wasn't done with forethought. You are not foolish. You read it correctly. They did not approve of these things.

I like to think one can find the truth of another's values by looking through their words, but now I wonder if that was the belief used to fool me.

This whole situation is a mess. I don't know what I really came here for other than to level with someone who I believe understands what I feel. I guess, what I am asking is: how do you feel?

Well, I wrote that initial thing when I was still in shock & very much trying to err on the side of caution cause it's serious stuff that you don't want to take lightly. I wanted to honestly consider that it might be true and what that would mean.

Having looked into it & read a bunch of accounts by ppl who were actually at the parties on reddit & just trying to dig up what information is there from newspaper interviews etc, I do not, at present, think that anything worse transpired than Till consensually boinking a bunch of groupies & some other people being uncomfortable with that & filtering everything they saw through Fear Brain.

The accounts consistently portray him as asking before doing anything, backing away when someone says no, and even the ppl who had genuinely shitty experiences say they agreed to everything & that there was continuous communication.

I think at very least the spiking stuff is definitely not true. There was a rule of opening drinks in front of the guests for the entire backstage area so exceptions would have been noticed (unless the crew & the other band members were all in on it - not impossible but unlikely.)

Apparently it's pretty common for ppl to fear they've been spiked when they just had too much booze but the symptoms are actually pretty different - from what I've heard of ppl who were actually spiked you would feel super groggy/sick within 30 minutes and be completely unconscious or nearly so soon after, out like a light. You aren't continuing to sit there let alone walking home on your own - the perps often offer to drive you home or have some nearby room ready to do the deed in.

Part of me wonders how much of this is Neo-Puritans getting up in arms over adult women wanting to screw a creative, intelligent & charismatic person of their own free will even though he's got a few wrinkles. (which is why I'm grateful that Schneider's statement adressed the paternalism issue) But of course some people having positive experiences doesn't mean that everyone did.

So another part of me is still reserving judgement in that if the prosecutors turn up something to the contrary of that, I want to be ready to accept that I was mistaken. Would be deluded to claim that it cannot be because my 1337 hipster art interpretation skills say otherwise or fancy myself some great detective when I'm just an internet rando who despite my best attempts probably cannot be unbiased.

If the spiking thing had been true or is proven to be true in the future, (or anything about people being unable to leave) that's Burn In Hell territory because of the sheer disregard for other human beings that such an act implies, but at present I just don't think the fact pattern suggests it to be true.

#rammstein #till lindemann

[destinyc1020]

Is that Z hating anon aware that the Television Arts Academy (the organization that awards the Emmys) have thousands of members, the vast majority of whom are actors? They really think that thousands of Hollywood actors agreed in 2020 and 2022 to give one of the most prestigious awards to Z because she's a light skinned black woman? That trait has helped so many actresses in the past 🙃. It has helped so much that only 2 Black women since 1949 have won the Emmy for Best Actress in a Drama: Viola Davis and Z

Girrrrrllll..... don't even get me started! 🥴

The way some ppl just love to violently hate on certain celebrities for NO good reason at all smh. 🤦🏾‍♀️ Some ppl just want to hate on other ppl for some reason I guess. 🙄

My thing is, why are you even on here if you're not even remotely a fan of these ppl? 🥴

Anyway.... I'm still chuckling at how some ppl think that their THOUGHTS are actually real life rofl 🤣 Like, if they THINK it, then it must be true rofl. 🙄 Umm.... no hun, that's not how REAL life works lol. No wonder so many Tomdaya antis were in delusions for so long!! 😂

Oh Yea, like Zendaya pays for ppl to give her awards. Pshhhht.... please. 🙄 And yea, being a woc in Hollywood has ALWAYS given us the upper hand... don't you know? 😏

What rubbish (as the Brits would say lol).

I honestly think the pandemic caused some ppl to be uglier in their personalities. You think it's making the other person that you're speaking badly about to look bad, but in reality, it's actually just making YOU look bad. 🥴

[serodev]

Hey hey hey! (idk why that's like my go-to greeting here 😅)

I was wondering if you could do a matchup for me for demon slayer? (Idk if you do for other fandoms I just want to be sure)

I'm an INFJ Virgo and I'm asexual bi-romantic so I'm fine being shipped with a guy or girl, demon or human.

I currently work as a professional vamp- I mean Phlebotomist. (Please don't matchup me up with someone in the medical field just because I work in the medical field. I'm sorry if I'm coming across as demanding, I've just had ppl do that before) I'm an avid cosplayer, makeup artist and theatre nerd. I love creating and writing, but I also love sports, especially volleyball. I also love puns and writing short parodies for songs. I'm fascinated with martial arts and weaponry in general, but I don't have the money to study them.

I'm normally quite reserved and observant and also very self reflective, contemplative and empathetic. But with close friends or a situation that calls for it I am very sarcastic and/or sassy. My friends have told me that they love my combination of empathy and wit and usually dry sense of humor, and it makes me so happy to hear that 😊 Most ppl know me as quiet, polite and a bit shy and flighty. Other ppl just see me as straight up dumb which I guess, you know, is fair 😅

I hope that's enough for you, have a great rest of your week!

Note(s): "Hey hey hey" Reminds me of Bokuto from Haikyuu hsajhd. Anyway, I hope you enjoy your matchup! (And no, I don't do matchups for other fandoms)

I match you up with…

Kyojuro Rengoku!

» I almost wanted to match you up with Shinobu for other reasons, but after thinking about it for a while, I think that Rengoku's a better s/o for you for a few reasons. (Mostly because you like sports and puns & we all know how much modern Kyojuro would love those.)

» Kyojuro doesn't even realize that you might have a dry sense of humor (though he catches onto it sooner or later), and he finds it funny as well. However, his favorite part about you is your love of martial arts because he's more than happy to share that hobby with you!

» You two end up becoming a rather famous couple because of how well you do in martial arts but how stupid you two can act at the same time, but it's cute, and Kyojuro loves it!

#kyojuro rengoku #rengoku kyojurou #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku #kny rengoku #rengoku x you #rengoku x y/n #rengoku x reader #kny x you #kny x y/n #kny x oc #kny x reader #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #sero writes #pillars #kny matchup

[lannisterdaddyissues]

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

And

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

For the ask meme <333

omg aww @lauwrite1225 @fleurdufeu ty all for the asks!!! also @faeratil bold of you to assume you can retract your challenge just like that, watch me do all of them anyway

A: Ships/platonic pairings that you currently like a lot ok so thanks to @potatoesforsamoo i am simping on main for steven stone and flannery from pokemon which is such an obscure ship but she writes amazing fic for them!! i also love twiyor from spy x family rn! as for platonic pairings i'm obsessed with literally everyone in major. the father-son relationships in that show are EVERYTHING and i love the friendship dynamics so much. in my head i've written over 1 million words of meta about them

B: A pairing that you initially didn't consider, but someone changed your mind franky/nightfall from spy x family... i was a yuri/nightfall shipper for a while bc i thought it would be comedic and hilarious but i saw some art of franky and fiona and honestly it would be the FUNNIEST thing if he had a crush on her. they would be like fix-it felix and sergeant calhoun from wreck-it ralph if they were a couple i think. and i love it

C: A ship you have never liked and probably never will sheith i guess?? i'm trying to think of ships from fandoms im actively in but not sure. anyway yeah whenever i see sheith i'm like ew. not even bc of their familial dynamic, like i don't care who ppl ship or anything go ahead and ship them all you like i just cant see them together. it makes my blood boil for no reason at all. it might be bc i ship klance or smth idk i'm gross

D: A pairing you wish you liked but just can't i guess all the thomas ships in downton abbey but i just don't Like thomas that much and im not very interested in his subplots sorry... it seems like everyone who stans thomas is having a genuinely good time tho and i wish i could be one of them bc im starved for good fic in the dabbey fandom :(

E: Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what? how easily you forget all the memes i made for tlk lmao... as for my current fandom i made this thread summarizing the entire plot of major through memes bc watching the anime made me so mentally ill. if u actually click on the second link tho don't read the tags i beg you... i thirstposted in there and it was bad

F: What's the longest you've ever been in a fandom? i've been in the fullmetal alchemist fandom for going on 8 years now and it's been pretty good. after that i was in the man from uncle fandom for 3 years or so

G: Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? gee it was so long ago but i believe the first ships i ever actually shipped were like kimron and drakkgo from kim possible. the first ship i actually consumed content for was either shirogane and ichigo from tokyo mew mew or yullen from d-gray man i think. if we're talking actual brainrot otps tho then it was stony jdkfsjskfds

H: What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff? oh anime 100%! i watch so much anime its a wonder i haven't magically turned into an anime character already

I: Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? h*zbin h*tel bc the fandom was toxic as fuck and the show is actually so, so evil...

J: Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr duh it's the gay pirate show and the vampire book club... i'm not in them but they ARE all over tumblr so i have to think about them obviously

K: What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc? JOE GIBSON MAJOR JOE GIBSON MAJOR JOE GIBSON MAJOR!!!!!! I CANNOT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH WHAT AN INCREDIBLE CHARACTER HE IS!!! MY BRAIN IS SO ROTTED FROM THINKING ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME OK YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE MEANS TO ME NONE OF YOU KNOW HIM LIKE I DO

L: Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves ugh... ok aethelwold WAS admittedly really funny sometimes. i hated him but he made me laugh and sometimes i miss the levity he brought to a scene with just his overall existence

M: Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend alice from major!!! she's just so cute and i think we would get along super well i love her <3

N: Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom content, content, and more content. the major fandom is a barren wasteland i hate it here

O: Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of? the first song to come on was if u seek amy by britney spears... idk why but it reminds me of junior from major bc i think he would have the trashiest white girl taste in music i just know he would be belting out an impeccable falsetto in his fancy jag while bumping his hand on the steering wheel. i know it

P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas) courtesy of ro i am still thinking about a major au where gibson adopts goro and raises him and junior together with momoko after shigeharu's death to atone for his mistakes. i just want gibson to be a father figure is that so wrong

Q: A fandom you’ve abandoned and why there are a lot of them so i can't really give one answer but like i said, the h*zbin h*tel fandom is so toxic i will never go back

R: Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom? GIBSON AND GORO ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME!!!! despite their history there was never any lingering hostility or anything between them. they respected each other so much and took so much inspiration from one another and grew as people because of it. like gibson had been so arrogant and almost selfish in his debut eps but he transformed thanks to goro's influence and became such a humble and selfless person like even when he was dying he never put himself first. it was all about keeping his promise to goro, and making up for lost time with junior, and upholding the pride of his country, even if it meant putting his life on the line to do so. and in the last arc of season 5 we saw how he touched the hearts of fans all around the world with his resolve and i think it's so so beautiful

S: Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged) major au where no one dies and everyone is happy that's my personal headcanon right there. bc if shigeharu had lived i actually think he and gibson had such potential for a rivals to besties dynamic like it was all there. in my heart shigeharu lived and he and gibson became reluctant carpool buddies during the little league arc. i just really wish they had been friends that's it. nothing else to see here

T: Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? toshi is so in love with goro it's not even up for debate he is in LOVE with goro!!!! also i think goro and alice dated for a little bit. i just need it to be true

U: Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites roy mustang from fma/b, jaime lannister from game of thrones, and joe gibson from major. they're all war criminals (only emotionally in gibson's case) who are traumatized by the sins of their pasts but later redeemed themselves through their actions thanks to an excellently-written character development arc (in the case of jaime, this was all erased at the last minute. thank you d&d for your service)

V: Which character do you relate to most? KAORU MY BELOVED!!! i too am a spaz who loves sports but can't be normal if her life depended on it and i for one would LOVE to be goro's girlfriend so if she would just hand him over please <3

W: A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom i hate breakup+makeup/divorce+get back together aus i just can't stand the relationship drama smh

X: A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom slow burn mutual pining gets me every time its so basic. but if we are being oddly specific here then it's when a character who's the last person you would imagine to be competent in this type of situation is actually terrifyingly competent and you are So Confused and a little turned on right now like who is this and what have they done with [insert character here]

Y: What are your secondhand fandoms? succession, yuri on ice, she-ra reboot, attack on titan, mdzs and tgcf, and riverdale

Z: Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! uhhhhhh i guess with the new pjo adaptation i'm a bit concerned with alleged racism in fandom spaces now?? so many people are up in arms about annabeth's casting like "you're racist if you don't support this casting!!" like it's not that we don't support it? i love that annabeth will be black in the show! it's great! but... in the books and the movie... she is still... a white character... and maybe... it's not so bad... if people PREFER the books and the movie... so they continue to think of annabeth as a white character as a result... like, it's not erasing black annabeth at all! it's just they will continue to think of annabeth as white bc it's the annabeth they know and love! either way, the character is still annabeth! same source material and everything! anyway that's it, people will probably come after me for this but i just wanted to say it :/

#ask #reply #ask game #fandom ask #lauwrite1225 #faeratil #fleurdufeu #mutual #mutuals #yall will be like WHYD SHE DO ALL 26 but i said i would do it so i did. i needed to it was very cathartic

[eldritch-araneae]

When our self steam is low I know how easy is to think people are all lying to you, but if this is only one person saying x thing you do is shit you really need to think "Is this jealousy? Or just an ass?", we always need to remember that fandoms have trolls galore and people that think they can boss around fanfics/fanarts without even having the decency to pay.

But like for a person to send you that your stuff is bad and they aren't even your friend 9/10 is mostly just an ass trying to get you to feel bad and if they are on anon or send a message that only you can see this goes to 10/10, they will never see value on your stuff even if draw a masterpiece with eyes closed because they are jealous of your work in the first place.

Again is not easy to ignore or not believe them and I know is hard to get out of this cycle, and I can't help much because the way I got out of it was that I started seeing art as a fun puzzle to discover new things instead of "I need to improve" and for me it worked wonders.

And like I never finish an English course and my grammatic on it is terrible, wrote this message thanks to Grammarly and Google Translator, if you can communicate and pass your ideas without people asking "What do you mean?" you have good enough English for general purposes, as non-native speakers we will always have problems to pass our ideas and some phrases will sound fine to us and wonky to them but many times people still get what we are saying, and we are not being paid to translate or do academics papers so don't worry about it.

Heh, maybe! They were pretty nice tho, that why I'm having hard time rn

( esp since its hard to find ppl how love a specific character as you do bc this character isnt popular.)

Though I guess I partly know the reason and its deeply rooted in my country mindset. That the reason why I don't interact in my local circles, people dont know how to feedback without upsetting the author.

Like our entire culture goes around the idea that we must suffer to be good people. So teachers often crush kids with negative only feedback, thinking it will encourage them improve. It works for some ppl ( probably NTs) but for most it dont.

So yeah, bc we both from the same country maybe this is what happens.

I knew other person from my country believing that westerners don't give a proper critique ( which in his eyes stuff like" your work is shit, give up" type) to get rid of competition.

Absolute nuts afadfsf

I guess this is what happens when christianity takes over and destroys your culture that this "suffer to be a good person" gets ingrained into ppls brains.

But the same time Im just upset bc my fics aren't doing good on ao3 compared to similar fics ( same protagonist and also an au) and their comment seemed to explain why.

If they were doing good, I wouldn't care.

Its inescapable cycles bc content creation is my only source of income, so I have no choice but look how to improve.

So I just don't know. I'm really in the bad mood today adsffdgh

#vent

[deathbyfiction]

I love your Chuuya manga color! 😍 I was trying to decide on his new colors in my head and couldn't lol. I actually just got into BSD after months of seeing friends wonder when Chuuya is coming back. Perfect timing for me I guess lol. (I can see why soukoku is such a popular ship)

I totally understand preferring twt to this dumpsterfire. I also cultivated my own lil corner of other adults into most of the same fandoms and the art is top tier. As long as you're not famous, twt is honestly fine.

Between the annoying drop down ads on mobile and the broken tagging system this site is actually unusable. If my BFF wasn't on here I'd leave too.

Thank you so much!!! 🥺 I gave up bsd for some time after chuuys left and came back recently too. Skk makes me go feral so imma act normal about it

Exactly!! You worded it so well! It's just a little corner with ppl who like the same things and it's all adults so I don't have to worry about anything. And the art!! Omg art is the main reason I'm there!! Like yeah twt sucks soemtimes but if you block whatever annoys you its honestly fine. This place has too many people and it fucks my anxiety sometimes and things ppl say ruins my mh. And every update makes it worse.

Same!! I literally come here for a few people and just to see some art blogs that aren't on twt.

I think im back again for now feeling so much better! I used to be on here every waking moment but imma limit my time and I decided I'll drop by to post something and leave.

Thank you so so much for sending this!!!! It made me so happy and made me feel so much better!!! 🥺❤

#asks <3 #i feel more sure of my decision after this #THANK YOUU

[sufferthesea]

I'm so happy to see all the support you're getting after the anon hate. It was sooooo uncalled for and you don't need that kind of negativity in your life. You deserve only the best! Bless all the people who are backing you up ❤️

!! Thank you!! I’m so happy too!! ;v; It means a lot that so many people - anon or not - have come to support and encourage me! I don’t want to start fights and I hope no one is harassing the anon (if they know who they are) but it does make me happy to see that I’m not alone!

I did feel bad for a while tho … since I do know the anon is 16 and I wondered if maybe they sent it on an impulse when they were angry and I felt bad about ppl supporting me bc I didn’t want to seem like some kind of bully or like I thought I was so great for getting support, if that makes sense?? I didn’t want to come off as a witch or like I was harassing them. I’ve literally left them alone since the moment I realized they blocked me. That was like ?? maybe over a month ago?? The only time I talked to them or about them was when they sent that message. I never vague blogged. I never asked people to check their blog for me to see if they were blocked too. I never inquired about them. I have better things to do than to check up on the blog of a 16 year old. 

And part of the reason I felt bad is bc technically they’re still a child. But then I stopped feeling bad bc, even tho I was 16 once and did dumb stuff, 16 is old enough to know better than to sent hate mail to someone you’re trying to avoid?? It’s old enough to know better than to send hate mail, period. Maybe it’s teenage hormones. But still. 16 is old enough to get a job. Old enough to get a license to drive a car. Old enough in some countries to drink or smoke. If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one???

But I’m also confused why I was the only one attacked when plenty of my mutuals ship other things, like the ships they listed.???? idk maybe they didn’t talk to any other blog and I was the only one they could be angry at lol.

And if the anon thinks that me responding to their message and to the messages of the people supporting me counts as me harassing them …. I guess ??? don’t send hate next time??? lol 

Also speaking of rude people and I went to a rock and crystal shop today and the ppl were so mean! they laughed at me for mixing up TWO blue crystals (I wrote down the names in the wrong order) and tried to correct my mom on the kind of Jasper she got even tho they were wrong ????? but it’s okay bc I got a pomegranate peach Rebel from Dutch Bros and my tomato plants are producing like crazy. 

Thank you so much for the kind message, nonny!! I’m glad I have ppl like you stalking my blog!! hehehe. And if anyone’s curious, I’m gonna try to participate in Kakashi week and KakuHida week this year! I’ll be posting a few new art pieces soon too! I’ll try to flood my blog with good stuff to combat any lingering negativity!! Love you!!! xoxoxo 💖💖💖💖

#ask #answered #anon #sweetie anon thank u #//kakuhida week #//kakashi week #re: hate anon #ill go thru and tag the asks with that #so ppl can block the Discourse haha #but srsly #thank u for the kind words!!

[teachmetwentytwenty]

Day 102 12/5/2019 MY HEART ACHES WITH LONGING AFTER WATCHING LA-LA LAND.

I think there's a tiny lil' dreamer in me. I think I love La-La Land for a couple reasons. One of the biggest reasons I love it is because it's honestly just done so beautifully. The music, the dancing, the cinematography, the quirks, the acting, EVERYTHING is just gorgeous. Every time I watch, I am so captivated. My soul like drinks in the beauty and from the first scene to the last, I just felt FULL. Because it was so well done. I am so happy and content.

Another reason why I like it so much, though, is because there's a tiny part of me that "dreams" (whatever that means). It's a part of me that loves something about art, creating beauty in different forms (words, images, sound, performance, etc.) ultimately to touch hearts and like... inspire. Or something. I want create things that inspire people. HAHAHAHHA. Could I sound more cliche? No. But strangely, I mean it. Something about making something or doing something that lights a spark in other people's hearts -- that excites me. When I see other people creating beauty, touching ppl's hearts, too, I get so freaking happy.

When Emma Stone’s character sang that song that was her audition to get to the movie to Paris, my heart was like bursting with happiness because she was doing something beautiful that touched the hearts of the directors. When the Ryan Gosling character finally was able to make the bar and fulfill his dream I was so freaking happy for him (LOL). Not so much because he fulfilled "his dream," but more so because he created a place where jazz can be appreciated. He created a place where something beautiful like jazz can live & touch others' hearts.

HS was me dreaming away. I would dream about writing books and plays that would touch people's hearts and make them want to do something--create something else, be kind, etc. But I think why I never actually got up and did something about it, like pursuing something like this as a career or moving out to NY or something (LOL) is honestly because even though there's this tiny part of me that dreams about all this, the bigger part of me just wants to be married and be a mom. I want this more than all the other stuff.

I mean, who knows if I would've actually made it in some way. But truth be told I don't care whether I would've or not because I am happy here. :)

Sometimes, on nights like these, tho, I still wonder if any of this will amount to anything. Who knows. Life's not about me, though. I need to have a heart aligned if I want to ever do anything with meaning that can actually touch ppl's hearts, in an eternal-like way. I guess that’s what I’m growing rn.

[g-taire]

hey so I saw your post on exr and I've seen similar stuff to it before so I was just wondering, for ppl who don't really have the experience with an abusive relationship, how can I try to avoid/identify stuff with that type of dynamic? I want to make sure not to support it my I'm not entirely sure I could properly recognize it all the time

also sorry but extra note from the last anon I’m aro so I don’t have much of a concept of what a normal crush vs. an obsessive/toxic one is like

omg this is such a wonderful response :’) I was a little worried about backlash. thank you for asking!!

edit: this ask is in response to this post

I’m obviously not an expert. i’ve been in one form of a toxic/abusive relationship, and can recognize that some of my own behaviors were not always healthy for my SO. but i’m far from an expert, and know that some of my exR unpublished drafts from when i was dating my SO make me cringe now, a year later, bc i played into some of the same tropes i’m writing about now.

so, I guess I’m going to try to answer your question? I hope it ends up being helpful, though I suspect it’ll just be a lot of rambling. feel free to ask more :) 

i think, treating them as (fictional) human beings is important– which sounds easier than it is, especially because much of fandom is made up of inexperienced/unprofessional writers unused to having to develop and flesh out characters for themselves, some of whom, judging by headcanon posts and many fics, haven’t been in relationships before, or at least, not serious ones like they’re trying to portray.

I don’t mean that as a bad thing, it’s just, some times i read headcanons or scenes that are just so out there or completely unlikely/unrealistic.

actually, now that i’ve typed it out, i think that may be a main contributor to the reason why unhealthy representations are so prevalent – that, and the normalization of obsessive, “opposites attract” type narratives in the media. without prevalent good, healthy representation of relationships, or experience with relationships, it’s easy to miss the warning signs (as I did).

with enjolras and grantaire specifically…

for example, there’s more to grantaire than his (unrequited) love for enjolras, drinking, and art. hell, he even has friendships outside of the amis (+ éponine & cosette, in fanon), such as Floréal and Irma Boissey. he is obviously very well educated and well off, knows people in every part of paris, from those he plays dominoes with, to those he fences or boxes with.

and yes, in the brick, it says that “in the presence he becomes something again” blahlbahblah but i’ve 1) always read that as enjolras inspiring grantaire to want to do good things in the worlds etc and 2) thought that was pretty reductive, because grantaire is someone, even if he’s not a revolutionary republican like the rest of them. (yes in the brick grantaire is just heckling and being obnoxious. incredibly, fic has often been a fix-it place. also grantaire never insulted enjolras himself. just stated he didn’t think they could make significant enough change to matter)

anyway, about avoiding the negative grantaire tropes: i mean, for starters, cynical grantaire does not have to mean ‘asshole who insults everything that comes out of enjolras’ mouth directly or indirectly.’ grantaire is in a place of extreme privilege, wealthy, educated under a prestigious artist, lots of free time, and… doesn’t believe they can change anything. but he’s obviously smart, and capable of making friends. people don’t want to be friends who are endlessly shitting on their ideals, however much joly and bossuet like him, he’s gotta have social skills enough to know that heckling your crush isn’t going to do anything except make him hate you. also is……. really assholish.

so i mean ,they can disagree. that’s fine, people disagree all the time, in fact, i’d like to see more fics in which the amis’ opinions disagree with one anothers’. but they can be civil about it. even if you (not you specifically, just like, the royal you) want to keep in grantaire openly disagreeing during a meeting, to the point where he and enjolras fight (i understand conflict is necessary, and people can get passionate when talking politics), keeping it reasonable is important. a fight or two is one thing, even if they push the boundaries of what’s appropriate (people are flawed and make mistakes).

it’s when it’s constant, as these fics make them, when it’s constant and when it’s always pushing and completely demolishing personal and social boundaries. when they’re dreading seeing each other or their friends worry to leave them alone with one another because they fight so much that everyone assumes one day they’ll actually kill one another? that’s when we’ve entered territory where it’s not even arguing with your crush so you get attention, it’s unhealthy and toxic.

obviously when we get into personal attacks (ie: enjolras attacking grantaire’s drinking or grantaire telling enjolras that he’s stupid and naive for wanting to make a different) it can be difficult because, in the heat of the moment we can say things we don’t mean…. but honestly, a lot of those things are things we’re thinking already, and if they liked/loved one another, why would they think those things privately about the other?

but people make mistakes, etc., and i understand drama, etc., miscommunication. so, that’s something I can’t really give advice on, because it depends on the situation you’re trying to show. use discretion. understand that some things are taking it too far, and even with apologies, aren’t forgivable. even still. people are flawed. once or twice – sure. repeatedly, through out the fic, harassing and insulting each other? not so much.

re: grantaire’s usually obsessive crush with enjolras. this is another discretion thing per situation but honestly. some of the things fandom treats as practically canon? like, grantaire drawing enjolras naked in his sketchbook, non-consensually? (when they’re not dating as well) that is crossing a line. imo, using enjolras (non-consensually) as a model for paintings to the point where it’s v obvious to everyone who he’s painting or w/e….. that’s def going into territory that is obsessive and invasive of enjolras’ privacy (also some of  those fics also have enjolras discover them at a public gallery, like…. ???? where people sometimes recognize him?? that’s so gross, c’mon y’all)

and usually in the fic, grantaire knows this is creepy. he doesn’t want enjolras/anyone to see his sketchbook or go to the galleries……….. but he still does it? just because he’s self aware that it’s creepy and gross doesn’t mean it’s okay.

again, it’s a matter of looking at a behavior and being like “if I found out someone who liked me was doing this, would I be comfortable having them do this?” if the answer is no, maybe reconsider using it in what, i assume, is supposed to be a healthy portrayal of a relationship

a crush shouldn’t be the only thing you think about. it shouldn’t occupy your every waking thought. maybe they’re the reason you attend a social justice meeting (though, i think grantaire’s friendships should and do factor into that in the brick) or, like, the reason you wear a certain shirt when you see them bc you know it’s their favorite color or something idk. weird idiosyncrasies that humans do. maybe nervousness or foot-in-mouth syndrome, if they’re prone to that. 

fandom shows grantaire’s crush as being like the only thing he ever does or thinks about. he paints enjolras constantly. he is only ever watching enjolras. he only talks to joly and bossuet about enjolras. that’s…. a bit much. like, it’s almost new bechdel test: can there be a scene in which grantaire does NOT stare at enjolras, think about enjolras, or have a conversation that mentions enjolras. 

re: grantaire’s inferiority complex in addition to his crush on enjolras

this is really complex. and i think a lot of writers in fandom know this, but i think they and other’s also choose to ignore the issues because a) it’s easier and b) it makes for fluffier fic when you’re not trying to actively navigate the multitudes of issues that can arise. it’s easier to just have enjolras kiss grantaire on the forehead and tell him he loves him than deal with grantaire up at 3am for the 15th time freaking out (lol been there) and enjolras trying to sleep because he’s tired from the last 14 times.

i prefer to refrain from putting them in a relationship until grantaire pretty much just gets over that complex. for one thing, it’s just really unhealthy to put your SO on a pedestal, subsequent inferiority complex or not. grantaire understanding that enjolras is a normal human being is essential. enjolras is not apollo or whatever bullshit. he’s a person who eat, sleeps, farts, poops, and makes mistakes.

even if we’re playing into “grantaire is ugly/enjolras is beautiful” inferiority complex…… first, tbh i think is a pretty much fandom-wide agreed upon that enjolras isn’t  that shallow ,(relevant especially among those of us who still prescribe to ugly grantaire) and that needs to be clear to grantaire. i don’t have any other way to put it. though tbh imo grantaire doesn’t prescribe to normative beauty standards anyway, he’s an artist, and tbh, beautiful looking people are boring as hell. but that’s…. my slightly less relevant opinion

anyway, if grantaire has an inferiority complex, that has to be dealt with, and it isn’t something that’ll just go away, but also this is fic so that can be toyed with. but it’s really important bc, like i said: an inferiority complex to an SO does not a healthy relationship make.

the manipulation bit is more complicated bc i don’t think a lot of people recognize it as manipulative as it is? they probably just see it as “grantaire upset and saying things” as opposed to “grantaire is upset that enjolras doesn’t seem to have the same feelings as him/disagreed with him on something so he’s deliberately making sure enjolras can see him drinking, making eye contact with enjolras, and being passive aggressive in a way that’s obviously about enjolras.” 

the pointedly making eye contact thing while drinking is like…. weirdly prevalent, and it’s usually like a ‘fuck you’ to enjolras like ‘see i’m drinking and there’s nothing you can do about it’ but it’s also like ‘you drove me to drink  and you should feel bad about it’ and often times enjolras does end up feeling bad or dealing with the fall out of grantaire getting drunk

that kind of manipulation, in addition to the passive aggression is like…. not great. i understand being passive aggressive if you’re upset. i’m a petty asshole sometimes too. but when you’re saying shit to deliberately hurt someone, and make sure they know that they’ve upset you? that’s taking it a little to far. as a human being, the deliberate choice to consciously hurt someone is kinda… shitty. 

grantaire doesn’t have to take respond to things well. drama, miscommunication, character flaws, etc., all factor into that kind of behavior. i think it’s, again, about making the conscious choice to hurt someone, and also, as a writer, knowing that people make mistakes once or twice. after that, they’re a manipulative asshole

enjolras is i think both easier and harder to give advice on, because tbh, fandom reduces him to The Cause and like… Combeferre and Courfeyrac and sometimes Feuilly, and that’s…. it? but he’s more than that?

he’s def a student, though it’s not mentioned in the brick what of. he’s a wealthy only son. he studied philosophy and economics, and is obviously well versed in politics. he’s actually close friends with the rest of the amis, which we rarely see. (okay, the brick makes it pretty clear that the Cause is his Lifeblood but…. we can be more creative than that)

anyway, the big issues with enjolras is how fandom makes him hate grantaire so…. violently? he seems to hate everything about him. it never seems to take much for enjolras is snap at grantaire, to shut him down, tell him to shut up in the back of the room, etc. and if grantaire is being obnoxious in a setting where everyone else is being quiet, that’s one thing.

one instance that comes to mind was a fic i read where grantaire comes in late and enjolras stops the whole meeting to tell him he might as well not come if he’s going to come in late and drunk (i don’t believe he was drunk). it seems that fanon enjolras assumes the worst in grantaire…

(not necessarily out of character, because enjolras doesn’t exactly trust grantaire with missions, etc., but enjolras doesn’t hate grantaire in the book, he’s disappointed that grantaire has been failed so much by society and seems to recognize his potential. he does allow grantaire to go to Barriere du Maine, in hopes that he’ll accomplish the important task)

… assumes the worst in grantaire and seems to relish taking him down a peg. it’s horrible (when grantaire genuinely doesn’t deserve to be told off. i’m not referring here to when grantaire is being an ass, enjolras tells him off, and grantaire sulks and enjolras is made out to be the bad guy.) and frankly, i don’t understand where that can be framed as romantic. fanon enjolras often seems to genuinely hate grantaire, and actively acts like it.

so starting there…. enjolras treating grantaire as a human being, just as much as grantaire treating enjolras? grantaire will likely ruffle enjolras’ feathers, but, if enjolras wants to be taken seriously in the world of civil rights, etc., he can not lose his shit every time someone disagrees with him. (assuming grantaire isn’t directly insulting him)

it’s mostly a matter of portraying enjolras as something other than utterly despising grantaire? it’s one thing if grantaire thinks enjolras hates him (unfortunate, but also common with people who have unrequited crushes) it’s another thing when your entire friend group also thinks you hate him. also if enjolras does like him, then why tf is he going out of his way to snap at grantaire for no reason? there’s a difference between even that nervous, arguing with someone bc you like them and want their attention (so prevalent in fic) and genuinely attacking them, and a lot of fandom does not see that line.

another big one, enjolras viewing grantaire as lazy and useless mostly framed because grantaire is drunk is…… so….. problematic. ….. in the 21st century, with two of his friends usually hc’d as medical students, as someone who would pride himself on intersectionality in his civil rights movement to not know the very common knowledge that addiction is a complex mental illness? (i understand societal bias against addiction, but enjolras? really?)

it’s more understandable if enjolras would view grantaire as unreliable, and perhaps might not trust him with extremely important tasks if grantaire shows (as he often does in fics) a long standing pattern of unreliability. that’s one thing. but to just not give him any chance for anything ever, even just giving his opinion in the meetings, because of his addiction/mental illness is another, and incredibly close minded for enjolras. obviously, everyone has their flaws, but that seems like an oversight, at least when it’s framed, as it usually is, as being about grantaire’s alcoholism.

this is a lot of rambling and I hope it at least helped with a little bit. there’s so much more we as a fandom can do to promote healthier portrayals of relationships, exR being the main culprit.

it’s difficult, when we are inundated with obsessive or unhealthy or frankly toxic/abusive relationships. the fact that I can list 15 off the top of my head without thinking out it says something. but we can not normalize that kind of behavior within fandom, especially since fiction shapes our worldviews and understandings of situation, and so much of fandom self professes to reading more fic than regular lit.

when I write, i try to imagine how I would feel if I were the one acting/the action is happening to. obviously, each character responds differently from one another/how I would respond, but if I’m looking at a situation, and for example, Grantaire draws Enjolras nude, and I know I would view that as a creepy invasion of my privacy and wouldn’t want him around me, that gives me an indication of where I think Enjolras might fall on the response spectrum. if enjolras is going off about how grantaire is worthless, I would look at that and think that I wouldn’t want this person in my life if they think of me like that, and would probably have grantaire do the same)

when i look back at my relationship, there were good moments. and there were serious red flags. things that should have said, “this is not a good person to be with.”

when we’re writing, we have the luxury of thinking through every thought and action of our characters, and have the time to think, “is this something that, if it were directed at me, would be forgivable? even if they don’t mean it after the heat of the moment? what if they’ve done it three or four times already, and everyone thinks they hate me anyway?”

we have the luxury as writers of hindsight and foresight. we know where we want the relationship to end up, so if it’s supposed to be a healthy, happy, non-toxic relationship, then we have the ability to get them to that point.

characters are and should be flawed. those flaws should not be such that they’re genuinely harmful to another person, especially one that is supposed to be the love interest.

edit: it’s super important to recognize that you, the writer, are also a multifaceted, flawed person, with different experiences from everyone in the whole world, so you’re going to make mistakes, i’m going to make mistakes. we may write things that we don’t realize are harmful. we’re not trying to hurt people, and all we can do is learn from each other and try to be better. 

#Anonymous #answered #i just dont' want to lose this thread #i'm gong to tag this as wank so i know where it is but it's decidedly not wank <3 #i'm so sorry #this got ???? so long???????????/ #emily talks les mis