It's time for another adventure of Verden, the Green Gummy Bear!
When we last left our hero, Verden had successfully helped to overthrow the Great Green Merciless Emperor, only one short day after defecting from the Emperor's Royal Guard. Now, eight years later, Verden has worked tirelessly to atone for the atrocities he helped commit in the name of the Emperor.
"A new danger now threatens to overtake us." Verden tells the assembled bears. "It could destroy the peace we've worked so hard to maintain these last eight years."
"Mecha-Bot the Destroyer has taken up residence atop the Gumball Dispenser." Verden explains. "From that vantage point, he can blast anyone and anything in our kingdom with ease."
"We will gain access to the Gumball Dispenser via the Tower of Yellow to the East. From there we will ambush Mecha-Bot and neutralize this threat to our land. It's a daunting task."
"Fortunately," the former guardsman continues. "We've got some very powerful allies on our side. This is Agent Carter, and my psychiatrist, Dr. Indigo Dragonstein."
"There's no one better to help us in our struggle."
Late that night, under cover of darkness, Verden, Agent Carter, and Dr. Dragonstein approach the Tower of Yellow, and prepare to infiltrate.
Their path is blocked by Charmander, who demands to know why they have come.
Verden puts on his best diplomatic voice, first cultivated during his time with the Emperor's Royal Guard, and refined over the years during his service as an Agent of SHIELD. "We are here to fight an enemy who threatens all of us, including the residents of the Tower of Yellow."
"Oh, you mean Mecha-Bot?" Charmander says. "Yeah, that guy's a dick. By all means, have at it."
As the sun rises over their shared kingdoms, the small team of heroes ascends the Tower of Yellow and prepares for their confrontation with the enemy.
"Mecha-Bot!" Verden calls out as Dr. Dragonstein flies him close to the automaton's perch—
"—wait," Verden says to his shrink. "If you can fly, then what was even the purpose of infiltrating the tower?"
"For the drama," Dr. Dragonstein says gleefully.
"Whatever." Verden returns his focus to the robot atop the Gumball Dispenser. "Mecha-Bot, we have come here to—"
"It's no use, Gummy Bear!" Mecha-Bot taunts him. "I shall never alight from my perch! I shall blast everything within my sight and I—waugghhhh!"
And just like that, Mecha-Bot slips from his precarious perch and crashes to the ground.
"Well that was rather anticlimactic," Agent Carter says. "I didn't even get to throw a punch."
Verden looks down upon the wreckage of the once-great robot. "We could have resolved this peacefully," he says with a sigh. ".....after Agent Carter landed a few punches, of course."
Back home, Verden lays on the psychiatrist's couch. "I don't know, Doc, it kind of feels like we didn't really do anything."
"But nevertheless, our kingdom is safe," Dr. Dragonstein reminds him. "And our people know that you made the effort to help keep it that way."
"You're right," Verden agrees, standing. "I guess the only way any of us can go is forward."
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Was able to borrow a copy of RTDLDX last month, had an absolute blast! ✨
(Long assortment of incoherent thoughts under the cut:)
The nostalgiaaaaaaa
Kirby my son. My child. His voice and mannerisms and overall squishiness are so healing. Reliving why I love him so much how did they make him so loveable.
I somehow remember where just about everything is from the original. This makes the new sand and mech enemies' positions are much more startling than expected.
Sand is awesome!! Mecha shows up much earlier than I expected, much to my relief. Mecha is awesome!!!!
Must. Make. Art. Of. Mecha.
The new animations for the super abilties' activations are adorable
Kirby's feetstep sounds are much louder now. Excellent choice HAL
For some reason the Grand Doomer dress-up mask has me in hysterics
I am terrible at the subgames (nothing new there)
I missed talking to Magolor. Realizing now that they really just had him there lying directly to your face huh.
I missed the Lor. Repairing the ship always got me real attached to it, so fighting it made me stressed :( And now I'm stressed all over again :(((
I noticed the original super ability animations are used during the fight vs Magolor, which is interesting.
I *also* noticed the original space rift opening animation is used in the Magolor Epilogue, which is not something of any importance whatsoever but hey, fun to see!
RAGOLOR!!! You're all so right he is the most pathetic wet beast there ever was.
Must. Make. Art. Of. Ragolor.
Holy crap this mode is hard his attacks are so weak and my panic response of spamming B does absolutely nothing
My favourite part of this mode is all of his dialogue in the skills screen. Trying to level them all up to see all the dialogue and it's such a treat. What a guy.
The screenshots in the credits of Magolor Epilogue are really just roasting him huh 😂
Magolor Soul though... what an experience
...Is that Void in the background O_O
Just so so fond of the way Kirby games always feel like a whole Experience they have no business being this powerful but I cannot help but be moved every single time. great job as always HAL 💯💯
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Jaune Arc Is A Creep
Cardin: Ha! You stupid nerd! (Shoves Jaune) Reading books and shit!
Jaune: Laugh while you still can! You're the stronger one now, but some day, I'm going to grow up, and I'm going to teach myself how to make chloroform and knock you all out! Then I'll drag you into my basement and chain you to the walls! The first thing you'll see when you wake up is me, standing over you as your new god!
Jaune: AND THEN I'LL MAKE YOU WORSHIP ME IN WAYS NO GOD HAS BEFORE.
Cardin: ...
Ruby: (Bandaging him) And then what happened?
Jaune: (Sniffles) They beat me up and took my books~!
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Ruby: Fuck you guys! I'm going back out there and kicking their asses!
Jaune: No, Ruby! Vengeance protocol dictates that we should lay low after an attack and conserve our resources!
Ruby: Fuck the rules! They insulted us!
Jaune: Ruby, as a guy who gets his ass kicked so much he could be a professional, listen to me. The only thing we can do for now is survive!
Ruby: Oh, so I should just cower like you, should I? LIKE A LITTLE BITCH?!
Yang: (Pops Ruby in the head) As far as I can see, you're the only one acting like a little bitch here, Ruby. Now listen to what Jaune has to say.
Jaune: Thanks for sticking up for me, Yang!
Yang: Shut the hell up, Jaune! And you, Ruby Rose, open your mouth.
Ruby: Wha- (Bread shoved in, Gagging)
Jaune: Oh! Oh... Oh, wow... That's... That's kinda hot, Yang.
Yang: Eat, Ruby. Eat and build your strength.
Ruby: (Crying)
Jaune: Keep crying, Ruby. It'll make the bread taste like tears.
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Pyrrha: Jaune, I know this is tough, but... Is there a higher power you worship?
Jaune: I used to worship Monty Oum.
Pyrrha: Who's Monty Oum?
Jaune: THE GOD OF DEATH.
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Goodwitch: You there! Who the fuck are you?!
Jaune: Jaune Arc, sir!
Goodwitch: Why the fuck are you here, trainee?
Jaune: To become a huntsman, sir!
Goodwitch: That's bullshit! Look at you! I bet you play with dolls!
Jaune: Well, yes, but only for roleplay revenge fantasies, sir!
Goodwitch: Shut up, Banana-Slut!
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Blake: You can do it, Weiss. Just focus on your core when using the tether.
Jaune: Yeah, it's not too hard if you concentrate.
Weiss: Even you can do this, Arc? I know I'll regret asking this, but what's your secret?
Jaune: I, uh.... I kinda have a natural advantage with this skill.
Weiss: What do you mean?
Jaune: I, uh... I used to experiment a lot with auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Weiss: ...Just take me up the tether.
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Jaune: Oh! I also like to read!
Blake: Oh, really?
Jaune: Yup! For example, did you know that if you electrocute someone underwater, it'll leave no burn marks?
Blake: ...
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Jaune: So... I gave it a lot of thought, and I decided. I'm going to serve on the front lines.
Nora: What?! Why?! Jaune, seriously, you suck at everything you do!
Jaune: I know.
Nora: With your tactical brilliance, you could easily land a spot as an officer away from the battlefield!
Jaune: I know.
Nora: So why the hell are you coming to the front lines with us?!
Jaune: ...
Jaune: I WANT TO SEE DEATH.
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Ren: We're finally here, Jaune. We finally made it as huntsmen. Do you have any regrets?
Jaune: No. It was either this or med school.
Ren: I... wasn't aware you wanted to be a doctor. What was going to be your specialty?
Jaune: (Wide grin) EUTHANASIA.
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Coco: I'm open to suggestions.
Nora: Let's give all of our weapons to Ruby and have her use them to build a giant rifle-toting, sword-swinging mecha.
Coco: What is this, a fucking anime? No!
Blake: We could always give up and run away.
Coco: No!
Ruby: Let's play Arrowfell!
Coco: NO, GOD DAMMIT! NO! Does anyone have any good ideas?!
Ren: Jaune has one.
Coco: ...Dear god. Alright. How bad is it?
Jaune: This is an old revenge fantasy I used to reenact with dolls.
Yatsuhashi: Holy shit, this guy is fucked.
Jaune: In my most elaborate schemes, I'd pretend the dolls could see me before stabbing their eyes out and burning them alive.
Fox: ...Jaune, has anyone ever told you that you have an unhealthy obsession with ocular trauma?
Jaune: It's like closing the windows to the souls!
Cardin: You know, if we shoot out the Grimm eyes, we could finish them off without losing anyone.
Pyrrha: Jaune, you are the creepiest fucking guy I've ever met, but hey, that's not a bad plan.
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Nora: Jaune, can I ask you something?
Jaune: Sure!
Nora: This is going to sound stupid, but... Let's say I, hypothetically, have romantic feelings for a fake brother-
Jaune: You mean Ren?
Nora: Yeah, whatever. But let's say I acted on those feelings. Would it... Would it be wrong?
Jaune: Nora, why are you asking me about socially moral protocol?
Nora: Because you're the only one I can trust to not tell anyone. And even if you did, everyone would just assume you're being a creep again and I could deny everything.
Jaune: Wow, Nora. That's cold, dark, and manipulative genius.
Nora: I'm sorry, I just really need to know.
Jaune: I've never seen you in this light before.
Nora: Is it wrong?
Jaune: Hey, can I have a lock of your hair?
Nora: Answer my question, Jaune!
Jaune: Alright, alright! Look, the way I see it, I don't see anything wrong with your feelings, Nora. He wasn't really your family anyways, so even if you did incest-bang, it would've been fine.
Nora: It's not incest!
Jaune: I know, I know! I just prefer to think of it that way!
Nora: ...
Jaune: Bitch, don't even give me that look. You already KNEW what you were getting into asking me for advice!
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Marrow: General, wait!
Ironwood: God dammit, Wags, not now!
Marrow: General, Huntsman Ren and Pine along with Huntress Valkyrie are invaluable soldiers, and thus are completely expendable. But you should know that Huntsman Arc is said to be one of the most fucked up people on Remnant!
Jaune: (Thinking) No! They found my secret!.
Ironwood: Oh, really?
Jaune: Act normal- (Meow) NO, MISTER WHISKERS! NOT NOW!.
Ironwood: And just how fucked up are we talking?
Jaune: (Twitching hard) GET YOUR LITTLE CLAWS OUT OF MY EYES~!.
Marrow: Fucked up enough, some say, to rival even you, General.
Ironwood: ...To rival me, you say?
Ironwood: JAUNE ARC!
Jaune: MEOW!
Ironwood: Is what they say true?! Are you truly a fucked up little shit?!
Jaune: Well, I think I'm perfectly normal, but I may have a few desires and tendencies some may classify as... off?
Ironwood: ...Okay, Huntsman Arc. We're going to play a little game, and if you lose, the survival of both yourself and your friends over there, too!
Jaune: Sir, this is a horrendous abuse of authority-!
Ironwood: SILENCE!
Ironwood: Jaune Arc, I challenge you to a personal duel to the death! We shall fight with words to determine once and for all who is the most fucked up human being on the planet!
Jaune: (Huffs) Okay, this? I can do!
Jaune: I PLAY WITH HUMAN DOLLS!
Ironwood: I PLAY WITH HUMAN LIVES!
Jaune: I laugh at death!
Ironwood: I worship Salem on the weekends!
Jaune: SALEM! WORSHIPS! ME!
Ironwood: I lick tears off of orphans!
Jaune: I call arson a career!
Ironwood: I joined the military to watch people die!
Jaune: I celebrate living failure!
Ironwood: I submit to certain death!
Jaune: I harass the elderly!
Ironwood: I dip my soldiers with disease!
Jaune: I throw rocks at the homeless!
Ironwood: Oh yeah? Well, you wouldn't know anything about this because you're a virgin, but casualties are my favorite form of sexual foreplay! (Jaune stunned) YES! HAHAHA! Foolish child! You thought you could match wits with the worst of us and win?! You played the cards of a petulant boy, Jaune Arc, and now you and your little bitch friends will die!
Jaune: (Looks to his team)
Nora: (Thinking) You can do it, Jaune!.
Ren: (Thinking) There's no one I've ever met who's creeper than you!.
Jaune: You thought you were fighting a mere moral? You thought you could probe the darkness that is my mind?!.
Jaune: FOOL! I SHALL DROWN IN THE MAELSTROM OF MY NIGHTMARES! MY TENTACLES SHALL TWIST AND CONTORT YOUR THROAT AS I THROTTLE YOU WITH VISIONS OF HERMAPHRODITIC SUCCUBI AND VIOLENT! OEDIPEDAL! RAPE FANTASIES!
Jaune: I will take your cities! I will subjugate your children! I will rape and devour your armies! But you, only you shall survive, so that you may bear testament to my will and ultimate revengeance!
Atlas: ...
Vale: ...
Vacuo: ...
Mistral: ...
Salem: ...
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