#why do my past papers expect so much from me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onlyswan · 3 months

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summary: in which you sacrifice your strawberries and eyelash wishes for the boy knocking at your door.

idol!jungkook x reader, strangers to friends (?) to lovers / fluff and a pinch of angst / word count: 5.5k

content/warnings: allusions to death and grief / jungkook is a cutie patootie and a blushing hopeless romantic mess / he wants to kiss oc so bad (me too bro) / oc is a sunshine <3 / they do chores and watch movies together :((( / in one scene he was worried oc would think of him as a perv lmao / they’re dorks and i love them / seokjin cameo hehehe

> in which masterlist!

note: to make up for the pain i may have caused and will cause <3 LOL. i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing :D as always reblogs and feedback are appreciated! come chat w me. ily 🌼

—

“it’s so cold,” you mutter through chattering teeth.

the grocery bags sit on the hardwood table with a thud— the careless bringer too hasty. you shove your icy hands in the deep pockets of your jacket, breathing in and out with a sense of relief.

you are not granted the mundane euphoria for much longer, however. the doorbell rings and you are padding across the floor against your will. the cold air hits your face before it enters your apartment.

however, the happy smile that greets you blankets your heart with a type of warmth that is difficult to describe.

if you had to guess who was behind the door, you wouldn’t say the boy you’ve been fiercely pining over for the past month, but it is certainly who you’d be hoping for regardless.

“good morning!”

“oh! wait there for a moment!”

jungkook stands motionless by your open front door as you disappear into your apartment. confusion accompanied by curiosity, he tries poking his head inside, but then decides that he shouldn’t.

upon your return, his face lights up again.

“here you go!”

he accepts the jar of honey faster than he could think.

“w-why are you-?”

you tilt your head, lips forming a small pout. “isn’t that what you’re here for?”

“uh, actually-” he awkwardly pauses, hand that carries the heavy paper bag behind him suddenly feeling weak. “i came here to give you something.”

your eyes animatedly expand in surprise of the size of it, not at all expecting to receive a gift from him today. you do know that he’s fresh from japan, as you converse on the phone almost everyday… why would he come here almost immediately? and didn’t he say they weren’t given the chance to roam the city because of their work schedule?

“i just grabbed things i thought you might like. i hope i got most of them right?” he explains with a nervous chuckle as you take a look inside.

a diverse array of snacks; a beautiful journal painted with cherry blossoms; a hello kitty plushie; stickers, muji pens…

“oh my god, jungkook… these are too much. you didn’t have to.”

oh, curse the hopeless fluttering of your heart.

“wow, gifting your merch- that’s real idol behavior for you.” you tease him, referring to the hooded jacket that has their group logo on its plastic packaging. “thank you!”

“no but it seriously warms you up! i have one too!”

“jungkook, why are you so cute?!”

“ah, shut up! i’m getting embarrassed!” he whines, blushing. “just look at them later after i leave, how about that?”

“let go! it’s mine!” you glare at him, hugging the paper bag to your chest to deny his advances on snatching it away. “are you not leaving? don’t you have work?”

“i told you— it’s my rest day.”

“you did?”

“while we were texting last night.”

“oh,” you blink. “i don’t remember reading that.”

“you? what are you doing today?”

you bite back the smile threatening to give away the thoughts running in your mind a thousand miles per hour. why does he want to know?

“nothing special. just chores the entire day.”

jungkook puts his hand inside the pocket of his coat, an attempt to appear casual as he offers you his valiant effort. “do you want some help? i’m good at doing chores.”

you stare at him, perplexed, as if he just said the most ridiculous sentence you’ve ever heard in your entire life.

“it’s your rest day and you want to do chores?”

“sure,” he grins playfully, not at all seeing how that could be wrong. “why not?”

“you know…” you pause— observing his expression, considering shutting your mouth, but that plan rarely ever works out. “you can just say that you want to spend time with me, right?”

your bluntness sends his heart racing. you’re a danger to his health.

he sinks his perfect teeth on his bottom lip, bringing his dimples into view. to be honest, you didn’t always have a thing about dimples. you didn’t consider them all that special. but why do they make him look cute and sexy at the same time?

his cheeks become tinted with a pale scarlet. you’re wearing that friendly beam again; he doesn’t know how to act. he never knows whether you are joking or not.

“well, now i know.”

—

jungkook sets down the jar of honey on the table as he settles in the living room, fascinated doe eyes darting around every inch of your place. it’s not his first time here, but somehow, it looks different each time. the two frames hanging above the sofa captures his attention all over again, colorful drawings against the plain white wall. gifted to you by your siblings, you said.

a tall castle with a happy family. a little boy slaying a dragon to protect a princess from its savage fire.

he is blissfully unaware of the knowledge that the drawings are the lone survivors of a school bus and a tragedy. you want it to stay that way. you want people to feel the opposite of the sadness you feel when you look at them. that is how you seek your peace.

“are you wearing toe socks?”

“huh?” he makes a sound of confusion, only processing your question upon seeing your gaze trained to his feet. “ah- toe socks- yes.”

“i’m only noticing them now. they look funny.” you scrunch your nose, chuckling.

“don’t laugh! they’re so comfortable!”

“really?” your eyes widen with genuine interest. “i should try them then.”

“yeah, you should!”

he whips his head around as he jokingly voices out an observation.

“but ____, your house kind of looks different today… it’s almost like it’s cleaner than the last time i was here.”

you bury your face in your hands with a high-pitched wine, hiding from him in humiliation. you did not plan on inviting someone over that night, and he had to watch you run around organizing and picking up things— the scattered books all over the table and the floor; the jackets that have created a big heap on the small couch; the jewelry box that ended up on the dining table for some reason.

he laughs in endearment, unable to take his eyes from you. even the way your hair bounces as you furiously shake your head is pretty. wait, does that sound weird?

“that’s right, it should look different! the first thing i did when winter break started was clean up my mess.”

“what’s the first chore on the list then?” he catches the grocery bags in the kitchen from his peripheral. “were you putting away your groceries?”

“you really want to do chores? you don’t want to watch a movie or something?”

“aigoo, it’s fine!” he waves off your reluctance. “stop worrying! i already said i’d help you.”

“but it’s embarrassing…”

it’s either jungkook is denying your advances or he is simply dense. but the fact that he showed up at your door unannounced on his day-off despite complaining about his exhaustion from their hectic work schedule, you want to lean towards the latter and believe that he is… as good at chores like he claims to be.

“you must like fruits a lot.” jungkook comments as he is squatted infront of your fridge, sheltering the freshly bought perishables one by one.

kimchi, lettuce, strawberries, tangerines, shine muscat, apples…

this is an entirely different world through your lens.

it feels strange to watch another person restock your fridge for you.

“they’re easy to eat and i’m lazy to cook.”

he chuckles as he looks back at you, who is sat on the dining table, airy and carefree as you snack on a bag of assorted chocolates from the paper bag he brought. almost all of the white chocolates are gone, he notes.

“not because they’re nutritious?”

“that’s the bonus!”

“what is this?”

“cranberry juice.”

“and this?”

“oyster sauce.”

you energetically hop off the table, an idea lighting up the bulb in your mind.

“i have another recipe for you. french toast with strawberries, then drizzle some of the honey. should i make it for you?”

“ah!” he gasps as if he is in pain, but the truth is his mouth is watering. he hasn’t eaten breakfast, and he wanted to eat more for dinner last night but sleep proved to be much more enticing than food. “that sounds so good! i’m starving!”

“stand up!” you begin pulling at the back of his sweater, forcing him to remove himself from the floor. “i’ll make it! just go relax in the living room, okay?”

“but you just said you’re lazy to cook.” he tilts back his head, meeting your gaze. “i’ll help you.”

“i’m not lazy when it becomes to being a host.”

you bend down with a sweet smile, merely inches away from him, and jungkook swears the earth has stopped spinning on its axis. your face is natural and bare, except for the sheen of lip balm across your lips— and dear heavens, having you this close, you are so breathtakingly beautiful.

“they’re playing christmas movies on channel 36.” you announce, giving him the bag of chocolates. “and the remote is… somewhere on the sofa… or maybe the floor.”

and as he gets practically kicked out of the kitchen, your hands roughly pushing his back, he daydreams of kissing you and tasting sugar on your lips.

—

the sweet, addicting smell of the french toast— strong hints of butter and cinnamon— invades every corner of your apartment. consequently, it also compels jungkook to break your rules and insert himself in the kitchen again.

“you never give up, do you?”

“i don’t,” he agrees, nodding eagerly. he has successfully stolen the task of washing the strawberries, and then slicing them after. he endures the freezing water rendering his hands numb. “it’s a known fact.”

“are you saying i should study harder?” you cross your arms, expression painted with faux vexation.

“yes! exactly!” he humors you, grinning of amusement. “what’s my favorite color?”

you sigh, looking at him from head to toe.

“anyone can guess that from a mile away, jungkook.”

“fuck, okay. that’s fair!”

the sound of his laughter reminds of you reasons to stay through the cycle of the seasons. you don’t understand why, but for some reason, it has finally begun to feel like christmas. the only comfort that comes along with the cruel winter that nips at your skin; the blanket over your heart that provides a type of warmth one can travel to seek but will never be able to find alone.

“what’s my height then?”

“aren’t you six feet?”

the silence that follows is an answer enough for you. the noise of the television emerges now that none of you is talking. he pretends to be too busy to speak, transferring the strawberries over to the chopping board.

“yes, you’re ri-”

“liar!” you point an accusatory finger at him.

and he winces, guilty as charged.

“you hesitated!”

“tsk, i should’ve said yes faster! i wanted to experience what it’s like to be tall!” he regretfully purses his lips, eyebrows knitted as if he just lost the lottery. “but haven’t you read it online? even my shoe size and weight are there.”

“what? why do people even need to know that…?” you exclaim, flabbergasted. “i mean- of course i’ve searched up your name, but it feels like cheating on a test. does that sound silly…? it’s just more fun learning about you from you.”

you briefly walk away to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and jungkook is left at the counter with fondness blossoming in his chest, bleeding into the chopped strawberries staining his hands red.

he calls out your name.

“mhmm?” you hum in question, muffled by the water in your mouth.

“want to hear a fact about me?”

you wipe your lips with the back of your hand, eyes expanding with fueled interest. “what?”

“i’m actually very good in the kitchen.” he boasts his skills with the kitchen knife, quick and precise, the blade against the wood creating the satisfying click you usually only hear from cooking shows. “are you seeing this? huh…? what do you think?”

“so i’ve noticed. i want something new!”

at that, his shoulder sags in disappointment. to his demise, there goes another failed attempt at making you acknowledge that he is boyfriend material.

“what do you want to know? ask me questions.”

“what’s your ideal type?”

being in your presence for the past hour has gotten jungkook re-adjusted to your personality— straight-forward, bold, smart— so vivacious that it’s dizzying. you make him nervous and comfortable at the same time, and he doesn’t quite know how to explain it either. but you’re a breath of fresh air, the change that he has been anticipating to disrupt his routine.

“why do you want to know that?”

you shrug coyly, smiling like the troublesome vixen that you are. you rather enjoy the tension that has hung in the air. if you’ve learned something from the past: men are easy to get, not easy to keep. because they relish in the chase, getting strung along like this. so, shouldn’t you have your fun too? but even if jungkook’s intentions were pure, you can only imagine that seeing someone whose life revolves around their career is… the perfect recipe for disaster.

“i think who you like also says a lot about who you are as a person.”

“i like someone who is kind and funny…” he hums in thought, unconsciously slotting a piece of strawberry in between his lips. “and passionate about the things they love… mhmm, someone who can be honest with me.”

his words form a constellation named after you, unbeknownst to you, and he wants to say more but anticipating what comes next after you connect the dots makes his stomach twist. he doesn’t feel like an adult yet. he’s still just a young boy with a gorgeous crush and high ambitions that coalesce in his dreams.

“i like someone who has a really pretty smile, too.”

and he should probably stop staring, erase the dumb lovesick smile on his face. for fuck’s sake, it would be easier for him if you would just do the same. behind the sparkles of your eyes, there is something he’s been dying to decipher.

“okay, why are you looking at me like that?”

because you are so pretty, especially when you smile.

“nothing,” he replies innocently. “you? what’s your ideal type? who do you like?”

“i don’t know… no one has captured my heart yet. they’re not trying hard enough!”

every romance you’ve had so far has been a letdown.

“but i’m still looking. i’m young, and hot, and the universe is vast.”

“mhm, i see… that’s true, but maybe… you don’t want to be looking too far.” jungkook suggests.

you smirk. “so you agree that i’m hot?”

“you know. you don’t need me to say it.” he chuckles, shaking his head.

“but i want to hear you say it.”

“you’re very beautiful, ____.”

“but that’s not-”

“the food is ready! let’s eat it before it gets cold!”

he runs to the living room without waiting for you, and you seize the opportunity to squeal without a sound, punching the counter without actually punching— releasing the giddiness threatening to spill from the seams of your heart.

you don’t know if this is heading somewhere, nor do you expect it to, but where you are right now is a good place to be.

—

the movie playing on the screen has become more of a white noise to you, a family comedy far less fascinating compared to jungkook drizzling honey over strawberries and bread from a spoon. you wonder if he is aware how often he creates sound effects while he is doing something.

beside you, his body quakes with cackles during the scenes that an editor would definitely insert the classic sound of an audience’s collective laughter and holler. you stumble upon the understanding that his happiness lies in a myriad of things, and you would envy him for it if not for the fact that he is currently sharing that happiness with you. you laugh when he laughs, and being becomes a little less heavier at that moment.

another commercial break rudely interrupts and jungkook turns towards you. the two of you sit cross-legged, knees knocking against each other as you occupy nearly the entire sofa.

“hi!”

“hi.”

“what are your plans for the holidays?”

“my best friend’s family invited me to stay with them for christmas until the new year. it’s kind of been a tradition since…”

the end of your sentence hangs suspended in the air. you still can’t say it out loud.

jungkook knows they’re gone and you’re alone: only the plain and brutal truths.

the reminder that this is the third christmas you will not spend with your family; the thought that this would be the third christmas they would spend without you if the afterlife was real— they bring tears to your eyes at once, but you forcibly blink them away, shoving enthusiasm down your throat.

“how about you?” you take a bite from your toast, attempting to divert your thoughts to… anything else. “are you coming home?”

you hide so well behind a smile. it doesn’t occur to jungkook that his question rubbed salt on an open wound.

“i miss my mom but i can’t go home yet.” he pouts. “i have work on christmas day as usual. we’ve been preparing hard for it.”

“oh, that’s right! gayo daejeon?!”

he nods in confirmation.

the music festival has been an annual event for his group since they debuted, and he never feels the need to complain because not everyone is given this kind of opportunity. what’s extraordinary for most has become his ordinary, and what was once his ordinary like everybody else’s has simply become a thing of the past. nevertheless, he does not have regrets. he is living a good life, one that he believes is his fate. as long as he has a voice and it is being heard, then his existence has meaning.

“your family will surely watch you, so they’re still celebrating it with you in a way. making them proud is the best christmas gift you can give!”

and right now, in his life, you are the cherry on top. you were so cheerful and supportive about the final shows of their tour as well, raving about how amazing it is to perform three nights in a row at gocheok skydome.

“i’ll watch you too!”

he can’t help it— you’re driving him to be better at what he does. childishly, he wants show off and be the one to capture your heart.

“ah!” he groans. “that means i should work harder at practice tomorrow! i can’t mess up infront of you and my family!”

“why not me? you want to make me proud too?” you interrogate him jokingly.

“of course, it’s my job. it’s what i do best. i’ll make you see!”

“use me as motivation then. you can’t mess up, okay? you have to do well, jungkook! you better not make a mistake! my eyes will be focused on you only!”

his face is reminiscent of a deer caught in the headlights— the headlights being your wide, threatening eyes.

he releases a shaky sigh in dramatic fashion. “i don’t feel motivated, though? i’m getting pressured?”

you wheeze; the plate over your lap tilts along with its contents.

“this is tough love!”

jungkook nearly staggers to his feet. “…love?”

you roll your eyes, small corners of your lips still cheekily lifted. “was the french toast good?”

jungkook is interrupted before he can form a response.

“but if it tastes like shit, just lie to me!”

“what are you talking about?!”

oh my god, you’re too fucking good at making him laugh.

“you’re eating it too! you know it’s delicious!”

“maybe you got a bad batch!”

—

“i’m going to the laundry shop across the street. i’ll just be a minute.” you announce, hauling a laundry basket to the living room.

your strained grunts prompt jungkook to look up from his phone, and eventually to stand up with urgency and relieve you of your heavy, heavy burden.

“shit, how heavy is this?”

you’re not given a chance to protest as the basket is immediately stolen from your grasp; your lips part open but no words come out.

“i’ll come with you!”

“well, hopefully not more than twelve kilos.”

it’s definitely heavier than usual; mainly comprised of the thick and layered clothes you’ve been wearing to shield yourself from the unforgiving cold.

“let’s go.”

jungkook wraps his hand around your wrist, gently tugging. the butterflies in your stomach wakes up earlier than spring’s arrival.

“this thing is bigger than you.”

an extremely obvious exaggeration.

“i’ll be the one to carry it.“

—

jungkook wears a cap and a face mask underneath his hoodie, eyes barely even visible in his all-black getup for the public to see; and somehow you also find yourself with a scarf around your neck, pulled up over the bridge of your nose.

when the year 2017 rolled in, you predicted that more crazy, life-altering stuff would happen. it has been an on-going theme, a relentless domino effect that has brought you to your knees time and time again. but you never would’ve fucking imagined that this is how you would be wrapping it up. how the hell did you cross paths with a famous idol, and why is he carrying your laundry basket right now?

“wait here for a bit.” you bring both hands to the basket’s handles, coaxing him to let go. “i’ll just bring it inside.”

“are you only dropping it off? that’s expensive!”

“what?” you stare at him in bewilderment, not expecting him to utter such statement at all. “you’re talking like you’re not rich!”

“i’m not! and still,” jungkook becomes flustered underneath his disguise. “it’s good to be practical. anyway, we have a lot of time.”

“you sound more like a mom than my mom did.”

“shhh!” he shushes you, putting a finger over his face mask. “let’s just do your laundry ourselves.”

“why would you do laundry right now? you’re supposed to be resting in the first place!”

a tug of war ensues infront of the laundry shop. strangers doesn’t know better. you look like a married couple bickering over who should take responsibility of the chore.

“____, just let me, mhm? i’m a pro at doing laundry too! we’ll be done before you know it!”

“how are you good at everything? honestly, it sounds like a scam!”

“how dare you doubt me?” he gasps in offense. “i do my own laundry!”

“seriously?” you quirk an eyebrow.

“i’m serious!”

“i don’t think i believe you, though…”

“if you search online, you-” your voice echoes in his mind, and subsequently, jungkook cuts himself off.

‘it feels like cheating on a test. it’s more fun learning about you from you.’

“oh, nevermind. let’s go inside already. i’m freezing!”

“jungkook!” you whine, stomping your feet on the ground as you refuse to let go of the basket despite jungkook beginning to head inside.

“why?” he copies the childishness of your tone, and although you can’t see his face, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes tell you enough.

“we can’t…”

the adorable sight of you appearing to be so shy is foreign to him. he can’t help but to chuckle. “why not?”

your lips form a pout.

“my panties…”

you bring a finger to point at the basket.

“they’re in there too… i was only going to drop them off today because you came with me…”

“ah…” jungkook awkwardly freezes, unblinking. “wait, you’re right?”

why didn’t he think of that? he’s a fucking idiot. of fucking course. what if you take things the wrong way and you’re creeped out by him now?!

“fuck, sorry. i’m sorry. i wasn’t- um, i swear i wasn’t trying to…”

his tongue becomes tied, struggling to search for the words that won’t make him sound like a damn pervert.

yeah, way to go, jungkook. you’re not the fucking boyfriend yet and you’re ruining your chances.

“did i make you uncomfortable? i’m sorry. it probably looked li-”

“hey, breathe, calm down. it’s alright, jungkook.”

you giggle in amusement, placing a hand over his chest— his heart. it’s meant to ease him, but the knowledge that you’re feeling his racing heartbeat only causes it to further intensify. he swallows the lump in his throat, dumbfounded by the turn of events. he wants the ground to swallow him whole, but he also wants to stay in this moment a little while longer.

“it’s alright. i’ll go bring this inside then i’ll treat you to lunch at the restaurant over there! don’t run away from me, okay?”

—

“the yukgaejang looks good.” you utter absentmindedly, admiring the spicy beef soup with plentiful vegetables from afar. “i’m jealous of you.”

the other tables are already having a feast while you and jungkook are waiting for your take-out to be prepared.

“then you should’ve ordered it too.” jungkook scolds you lightheartedly. “should i go?”

“no! i’m not good with spicy food. spice makes me cry.”

he smiles softly. once again, you complete the picture from his eyes. “what is there to frown so sadly about?”

“i feel like i’m missing out.” you complain, the pout on your face almost permanent. “spicy food is like one of the trademarks of korea, you know? but i can’t handle it!”

“so cute…” jungkook has decided to give in to his impulses, it seems— the evidence is him pinching your cheek for the very first time, and with the discovery of its delightsome softness, it will definitely not be the last.

“oh, oh, oh! an eyelash!”

his doe eyes glisten with pure wonder and excitement, and the air in your lungs becomes suspended when his hand moves to tenderly cup the side of your face. as he is absorbed in capturing the tiny eyelash that has fallen and glued itself on your cheek, your mind reels with the size of his hand, the sensation of his innocent touch against your neck.

“aaand-” jungkook takes your hand, passing on the eyelash to your index finger. “there you go. make a wish!”

your eyes flicker down, and none of you speaks for a moment or two.

a wish…?

what does one wish for when they have given up on wishing for miracles?

“did you do it?”

you peek at jungkook, nodding. at last, you blow the eyelash away, outside the window, where it becomes one with the snowflakes that came from the same sky where wishes are supposedly granted.

“what did you wish for?”

“i’ll tell you when it comes true.”

—

jungkook eats so well— you feel full just by watching him eat. so when he asked you, eyebrows knitted and legs bouncing, if he could have more rice, you were left with no choice but to plug in the rice cooker for the second time today. you cooked only enough for two meals today: brunch and dinner for one. you’re more than happy to have given him the dinner portion. you like that your apartment is providing warmth for another soul, despite the old times that it housed ones that ended up haunting you.

“are there any more chores to do? while we wait for the rice?”

you gaze switches from him to the living room.

the boy who was knocking at your door is now vacuuming your floors.

you sit on the couch with your legs hugged to your chest, chin propped on your knees. an unexplainable feeling swims in your chest, but your heart calls to welcome it. not to be delusional, but technically, isn’t this a marriage proposal?

it falls on dear ears— the infuriating sound of the cheap vacuum cleaner your landlord lended you and never came back for. underneath it is jungkook’s mellifluous voice, humming and singing, and it’s all you can hear.

the only use you knew of honey is the magic it does with tea for a sore throat. when you learned about his demanding occupation, he is all you can think of in relation to the elixir. since then, you’ve been taking the god awful amount of honey your pesky neighbor provides without any complaints.

this is nice… this is good. you are glad that you opened the door.

—

after a hearty and satisfying meal, you and jungkook retired to your previous spots infront of the television screen. more of the snacks he bought for you ended up being shared. near your stacks of books are colorful food wrappers and half-empty glasses of water. two mediocre yet entertaining movies later, you tell jungkook that you should pick up your laundry before the shop closes in an hour. however, after he has excused himself to the bathroom, he is greeted by the sight of you peacefully asleep on the sofa.

once more, a new side of you is laid bare, and his affection grows. he doesn’t know when he can admire your face this close again without melting from your stare.

heedful of disturbing your much deserved rest, he carefully places a pillow beneath your head, and he pulls down the blanket you’re wrapped in to cover your cold feet.

with one last stolen glimpse, he grabs your key and receipt from the bowl and leaves.

—

“is it time for you to leave?” you delicately rub at your eyes that are still half-closed; voice quiet, barely there.

you were awoken by the front door opening and closing, but nothing has quite registered to your fuzzy brain yet, except for the coat that you neatly kept and is already re-worn by its owner.

and he knows you’re most probably just sleepy, but the way you’re gazing at him as if you’re sad to see him go makes his heart clench.

“no, i picked up your laundry.” he enlightens you, consciously speaking with refined tenderness, as to preserve the serenity that has enveloped the atmosphere. “i can stay until eight. is that okay?”

you release a weary sigh, nodding. “of course… and you’re such a nice friend, thank you.”

he plops down on the sofa, filling the jungkook-shaped space beside you.

tired… you’re so tired… despite the given privilege to finally sleep to your heart’s content, you’re still so tired. your forehead lands softly on his shoulder, and unbeknownst to you due to your stupor, jungkook’s breath hitches— the polar opposite of the steady rise and fall of your chest. you make him swoon. he deliberately ignores the fact that you just called him a friend.

you peer down at the floor, past the curtain of your disheveled hair, slowly blinking. those ridiculous toe socks… you giggle in secret.

“jungkook?”

“yes?”

“are you cold?”

“freezing.”

you lift your head and he knows— you have to be playing games with his heart, bringing the temptation to kiss you so painfully close. “do you want some tea?”

—

the performance has commenced but the passionate screams of the audience still rings in jungkook’s ears as he runs backstage, chased by the staff attempting to wipe the sweat he is practically bathing in. he squeezes one eye shut as beads of sweat threaten to enter it. his chest heaves with exhaustion and his heart pumps with overwhelming adrenaline. most of the time, this job doesn’t feel real. he feels high. this is the textbook definition of a dream.

“where’s my phone? please? does anyone have it?” he yells in the midst of the chaos and clamor as he completely strips off his in-ears.

a hand reaches towards him with the device, and his expression of gratitude gets lost somewhere among the repetitive reminders of the remaining time before they should have returned to their designated seats.

he allows the hair and make-up stylists to do their jobs, him as their doll in need of a retouch. on the other hand, he impatiently waits for his phone to power on.

the tapping of jungkook’s foot ceases, and from his glowing reflection on the vanity mirror, the clueless people surrounding him witnesses love strike.

guess my eyelash wish worked like a charm. your performances went really well

and you looked so cool on stage ☺️

merry christmas jungkook ❤️

“jungkook-ah, what are you smiling at?!”

seokjin cackles. jungkook didn’t even notice him roll his chair so close. he then decides to play dumb to tease their youngest one.

“wow, who is this ____ you’re texting?”

“hyung!” jungkook panics, hissing underneath his breath. “lower your voice!”

“ouch!” seokjin yells, rubbing his arm that was hit as a punishment.

he allows a moment of silence.

his expression goes blank and he avenges himself.

“ah!” jungkook gasps as the slap on his thigh resonates, forced to be ripped away from overthinking a text message. “hyung! you better start running!”

Draft: i know it’s late.. but can i see you later?|

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

#jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook one shot #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook au #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #bts fluff #bts reaction #jungkook smut

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dcxdpdabbles · 7 months

Note

Any new ideas for congratulations! It's triplets? Love the idea of Jason just freaking out and trying to figure out how to build a relationship with his kids while being made fun of by his family and said kids. Especially if he goes overprotective mode because Danny has clown trauma too and gets snagged by the joker

Jason watches as Danny- his son.- impatiently taps his fingers against the table. His boy's gaze was looking at everything, taking in the big fancy Wayne Mannor with a sort of disinterest he was not expecting of a child so young.

His sister and Brother- both with alarmingly similar names- were also disinterested, but Dani was swinging her legs, and Dan was tapping his spoon and fork against the table in a fast-paced drumming.

It's strange to know he would fidget a lot as a kid but he always resorted to finger tapping. Was the tripples little habit from him? He wonders what else they inherited and what he missed out on seeing.

"I don't understand," Jasmine said, overlooking the contract Bruce's lawyers wrote up. " Why would you want custody now? It's been five years."

"I didn't know." Jason swallows past the lump in his throat as she gives him an unimpressed stare over the paper. He feels Bruce place a hand on his shoulder, and the silent support allows him to continue. "If I have, I wouldn't have ever let them grow up without me."

"Jason doesn't want full custody," Tim cuts in with a soft voice that has tricked lesser men into selling their shares. He and the rest of his family are all sitting across from Jassmin Fenton, as she is carefully lured back to the manor to discuss their next step. "He just wants to be part of his kid's lives and would happily share that with you."

"Not telling him about the kids sort of played into that," Steph mutters tactlessly. Unfortunately, her voice carries, and the woman across from them bristles.

There is a tense moment where he thinks Jassmin is about to curse them all out before she sighs and slumps in her seat. "Well, it wasn't like I had a means to contact you when I found out. You gave me a fake name."

Jason winces. "I sort of forgot I told you my name was Petter."

"Wasn't a total lie" Dani chirps "It is your middle name."

Jasmine rubs her eyes. "Look, Jason, I don't want to stop you from seeing the kids, but this is all too much right now. I'm dealing with a lot right now-"

"You are currently homeless," Damian cuts in, causing Jasmine to stop in genuine bewilderment.

"No, we're not." Dan scoffs. "You were waiting for us at our house. Waiting to ambush us."

"The house that was on the street that Poison Ivy just destroyed," The boy says, showing everyone his phone screen. There, clear as day is, their home is nothing but rumble. Jasmine's face spams, and she quickly checks her phone, paling at what she reads.

"Oh, Ancients. It's gone. It's all gone," She whispers, gripping the phone. The three kids immediately stiffen, watching their mother with strange intensity. Too aware of what this means.

They were mature for their age, and that is never a good thing.

Oh gods. Did his children live on the streets? Had Jason's carelessness hurt his children like his parents have hurt him?

"Mom?" Danny asks and that seems to snap Jasmine out of her spirl.

"Hotel!" She gasps, hands shaking as she quickly starts tapping on her phone. Jason catches a glimpse of her screen and realizes she is making a to-do list. "I have to book a hotel room. Call the insurance company, go and try to salvage whatever we can....what else?"

"You can stay here, Fenton," Damian surprisingly offers. "Until your home is rebuilt"

"We couldn't possibly-"

"Hotels are expensive, and you must focus on other more important needs. Father certainly has the space."

Jason jerks into action. "This will also give me a chance to connect with the kids!"

Jasmine bites her lip, turning to her children. Jason could appreciate that she was willing to include them in big decisions. The three nodded, so she eventually sighs.

"Alright. But only until I can get our housing settled. And I'll pay rent"

Jason would argue but he recognized the look in her eye. She would not be sway from making payments. So he agrees, tapping his fingers on the table in a specific rhythm to make sure his family agrees too.

He knows it pains Bruce- the old man already thinks of the triplets as his grandchildren and the idea of charging them to live with him will kill him.

Jason notices the way Dan's eyes zero in on his tapping and the glance around the family members. He fights a proud grin when realization bleeds into his boy's eyes. He's got a smart one, likely aware of that the tapping is a form of Morse code.

Tim did say- after pulling up all files of the four- that his children had developed insane intelligence. Maybe he should get them tested for certification geniuses.

"Hey Mr. Jason," Dani suddenly speaks up.

"Yes Darling?"

"I suggest you remove your eyes from my mom before I remove them from your face." The little girl even punches her palm in a poor intimidation attempt. His heart melts.

Then his face turns a dark red hue at Jasmine's raised brow. Unwillingly flashes of thier last time being face-to face rise in his mind. He coughs awkwardly as his sons face become as protective as their sister, Dan cracking his knuckles and Danny reaching for a knife.

"Oh yeah" Tim deadpans watching the kids reaction "No need for DNA test. Those are definitely Jason's kids"

He agrees, he just hopes he can show his children he plans on sticking around and being the father they deserve.

No one notices Cass and Steph slip away to deal with Posion Ivy. Jason kinda wants to send her a thank you gift for making it possible to have his family move into the manor.

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #Congratulations! Its Triplets!#the Dannies are protective of Jazz #Jason is more focus on being a dad but he does have a interest in Jazz #Damian is plotting on being the best uncle #The Waynes vs the Custody battle

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sh1-n0bu · 7 months

Text

𝔫𝔬𝔟𝔲’𝔰 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔨𝔱𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔣 2023!

day 17: public sex with sampo koski from hsr

warnings: exhibitionism, degrading, fingering, sampo being a slut as usual, finger sucking, gagging, slight feminization

notes: silly silly con-man getting fucked silly

it was sampo’s intention when he did everything.

annoying you, throwing paper balls at you, constantly going “psst! [name]!” only to blow you a kiss or wink at you when you do sigh and pay attention to him. just simply irking you in general. or getting on your nerves.

being a volunteering medic in natasha’s little clinic leaves your plate full of work to do, little to no sleep schedule except for the power naps you stela from time to time. even as the owner of the clinic worries over your health and the constant heavy eyebags under your eyes, all you do is wave off of her worry.

your work schedule is the reason why you’re always so slow and sluggish in your movements. words slurred, voice low and raspy as you literally fit the term ‘walking dead’. perhaps it was that nature of yours that caused sampo to be infatuated with you.

he’s always seen you around natasha’s clinic. helping out with her work, taking care of others, babysitting the younglings — you did everything and anything. the conman didn’t even bother to hide his eeny teeny crush on you. bringing you red roses, calling you cheesy nicknames, taking care of you, dragging you away to make you cuddle him because his boo boos hurt. it was just a mere sore ankles, sampo. get your act together.

but somehow, someway, you would end up in his arms before drifting off to much needed sleep. he has a silver tongue for a reason. but it was further into your little situationship that sampo started to get a little more daring with his little tease.

asking for your consent first, he would send you small little sneak peak photos that’s more similar to a nude pic. it started out relatively tame.

a small snap of him pulling up the front of his shirt that barely covers anything, showing his v-line perfectly. a little pic with a red rose held between his teeth. quick photo of him shirtless but it became progressively more daring with each pic.

picture of him straight out of the shower with a towel around his waist. a sneak peek of him wearing a bralette and his smug face. him in his boxers. it didn’t took long before he was sending you pictures of him in lingeries or him sucking on a dildo, saying wishing it was you instead.

it won’t take a genius to figure out that he wanted you. badly.

all it took for you to snap and give him what he wanted happened to be showing you a very thin lace tied around his waist. the sideless shirt of his did nothing to hide the string of what you would assume to be a lingerie piece as he pulls out the string, flashing it to you with a smug grin and a pink tinted cheeks.

that was all you needed to have all the energy you needed to fuck him in the empty alleyway next to the clinic. it was way past midnight and no one would be outside during such ungodly hours, making everything perfect.

“stupid slut. you wanted me that bad? did no one taught you how to use your words correctly?” you hiss into his ear angrily, pushing him flush against the wall as you shove two fingers inside his mouth. the thief gags at the feeling, choking on your fingers having not expected you to be so rough but that caused his pants to tighten more.

“now, at least for once be good and get my fingers all nice and wet, got it?” you demand, forefinger and middle finger pulling on his tongue. he could only nod dumbly, having been reduced to whines already. sucking on your fingers, swirling his tongue around them before flicking his wet muscle between your two fingers caused to briefly wonder how good he would be on his knees. that is for later.

once you deem your finger were wet enough, you pull them out. his saliva coating and dripping from your fingers to your palm. his own lips all swollen and green eyes looking hazy. you haven’t even fucked him properly yet.

turning him around with his chest to the wall, you slip a finger inside him, causing him to whine at the stretch. just one finger felt so good already. it made him drool as he wonders how your cock would feel inside him. it would definitely leave him sore and limping for days, rearranging his insides. pushing his leg up with your free hand hooked under his knee, spreading him open for you caused your finger to hit his spot.

“aunngh—! guuhck♡︎ [n-name]... there! r-right there!“ sampo moans out loudly, not even bothering to silence himself in the dark alleyway. he didn’t care about being caught, he just wanted you to fuck him stupid. whether that be with your fingers or your strap, he didn’t care. he just wanted to be fucked stupid by you.

slipping another finger inside his loose hole, you let out a grunt at how tight he was around you. it almost felt like you were fucking a cunt with how he was clamping on your two fingers, moaning and drooling like a cheap whore.

“dirty little thing… have you always fantasized about this? getting fingered in some random alley?” you ask, whispering into his ear as he moans deliriously. you may not have noticed but each time you scissored his hole open, your fingertips always grazed against that one spot. that one spongy spot inside his tight walls that make him squeal. head thrown back on your shoulder as he weakly bucks his hips.

“asnh! gyang… mmgh! anh anh anggh♡︎” whiny, high pitched noises of utter debauchery comes from the conman. weakly bucking his hips back into your fingers. he could only moan and drool in place against the wall as he takes whatever you give him without complaint.

this was all his intention when he first laid eyes on the pretty, lace purple panties. sampo knew you would like it on him.

#nobu.writes #sub hsr #sub honkai star rail #sub! honkai star rail #sub character #sub!character #hsr x reader smut #hsr smut #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail smut #sub sampo #sampo smut #nobu’s kinktober 2023 #dom gn reader #x dom reader #dom reader #dom!reader

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mecub · 23 days

Text

It is past 1am and I am thinking about @somerandomdudelmao’s Marble Sky, and this lightly bonked my writers block on the head for long enough that I wrote a little thing.

The world is green. Green, bleeding from the lights and from his insides and from the space where—

—

Ward wakes up shaking, crumpled on the floor like an old paper someone couldn’t be bothered to throw away.

The world. Is green. Green and pretty, green with plants and vines, but for a moment something inside of him screams like something’s clamped over his mouth and his blood is burning and—

But it’s not green like that. Here, the green isn’t the immediate threat. The threat is one of them, bigger than him and probably put there to make sure he doesn’t try to escape.

“Oh. You aren’t dead,” the alien says.

That’s… not reassuring. But also not the threat he’d been expecting?

“Are you by any chance one of the talking ones?”

Something is wrong. Everything is blurry, and when he goes to rub his eyes, he finds gauze and okay, that. That is going to be a problem for later. Once he’s safe. Once he can let panic overwhelm him without the lack of attention putting him at risk of—

“I am,” he says.

“Cool. So they found another civilization to destroy. Hungry?”

Them. Like this alien, this alien who looks so much like them, doesn’t trust them.

It’s ridiculous, but at this point? Ward just wishes he could’ve just been thrown in a normal prison cell. Just one normal, reasonable thing that made sense would’ve been nice. And yet, he’s sitting in vegetable prison with someone who might be an ally but is also probably very much not anyone Ward can trust. How does someone even end up in vegetable prison?

“What’s with all these greens?” he asks, because he can’t just demand answers. “Are you in jail for being the only vegetarian here or something?”

Good ole sarcasm. A great way to be eaten by aliens! Hey, maybe they consider humans a vegetable.

“You’re radiating negative energy at me.”

No shit. “Wanna guess why?”

“Hey, I’m not with those— Wait!”

Uh oh.

“You said greens! You know what color is?”

Um?

“You must have eyes!” And then the alien moves towards him, without a second thought, like they know anything he does, running away or fighting or yelling for help, won’t do anything. Ward flinches away from their outstretched hand.

(An outstretched hand, moving towards his neck, slicing him open like the specimen he was. An outstretched hand, with his blood on it, and he couldn’t move couldn’t fight it couldn’t—)

“Yes. So?” he snaps.

“Can I touch you?”

“Wh— No.” No.

“Please,” the alien says, “I won’t hurt you. I swear.”

Ward… could try saying no again. He could try to move away, try to talk about this, try to save himself from whatever’s going to happen. He wants to, he really wants to.

But. Sculptor didn’t listen, didn’t care, he just cut into him with a smile. And this one is larger than him, and they said they wouldn’t hurt him, they swore it, they asked for a favor, they look desperate, so maybe, maybe he’ll be safe. Maybe this will keep the alien from dropping whatever this act of an ally is.

The world is green, and Ward reaches out a hand and says, “Here. Happy?”

And the alien reaches out a hand and—

And lightly touches his. Gently.

—

The world is green. And in the middle of it is someone who looks a lot like him.

#marble sky #marble sky fanfic #is that a tag?????#i don’t know what i’m doing and writers block is trying to murder me so this is probably not very good but WHATEVER

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ynsvnte · 2 months

Text

Did I do the job right sir? — Park Jongseong

Genre: smut (18+ MDNI!!), CEO’s son, workplace, enemies to lovers? Older reader, fake text, drabble

Word count: 1.6k+

Warnings: older reader (Only by 2-3 years), blowjob, office sex, swearing, spanking, degradation, protective sex, doggystyle, hair-pulling. kissing.

Pairing: ceoson!Jay x fem!reader

Masterlist

You hear the sound of your alarm going off. You reach over and grab your phone, turning it off. You sigh before checking the time.. 7:36 AM.. another day of work..you groan out loud, not wanting to get out of bed.

You sink onto the bed, getting comfortable, trying to forget about work. You hear your phone ping. “What now..” you thought to yourself. You roll over, laying on your stomach and reach over to your phone, you look at the screen seeing a message from your boss.

You look at the message and set your phone down..guess there isn’t really much of a choice. You get out of bed and start getting ready.

You change your clothes and sit down on the bed. You really don’t want to go to work. But you wonder who’s taking over your boss’s spot for today..better not than be some old guy. You finally leave for work and make your way over.

Once upon your arrival everything seems normal. You only remember having to cancel a meeting that was set for the afternoon. You get out of your car and start walking inside. You see the receptionist, she smiles at you, making you smile back. You weren’t paying much attention causing you to bump into someone. Letting out a grunt you look up to see. A man. A man you despise so much. Jay. What is he doing here? Isn’t he supposed to be in college right now? You know he is working his way up so he can take over his dad’s position one day. Great way to start your day..seeing someone you despise so much.

“Like what you see?” A voice cuts off your thoughts.

“What no..just trying to go to my desk..sir” You say trying to let your annoyance show through. “Sir..? How respectful of you..” Really? Of course you had to address him as sir.. what else… “Why are you here?” You asked..looking up at him. “Me? Oh princess of course just taking over my dad’s place for today..and soon that ‘today’ maybe we’ll..let’s say about the next upcoming years.” He had a smug look planted on his face. His ego was big. You just nodded your head..you can’t believe someone like him will become your boss one day. He’s younger than you..? He can boss you around like some dog..you already knew today was going to be one hell of a day.

“Right..” you say lastly, before walking past him and walking away into the hallway. You make it to my desk and settle down my belongings. You take a seat before getting started on your work. You’re minding your business until you hear knocking on your desk you look up and see Jay. “Now what?” You think to yourself.

“Need anything sir?” You asked him. “Yeah..actually..meet me in my office..Don’t be late.” Jay said before walking away. You watched him walk away. Confusion written all over your face. What does he even want? Probably going to assign you more work to do. Isn’t that what he likes? Seeing you miserable. You sigh, and get up from your seat and make your way over to Jay’s office. You lightly knock on the door and hear a ‘come in’. You slowly open the door and see Jay typing something on his laptop before closing it. You walk inside, and go to his desk, you stand there awkwardly. “Soo..?” You asked, waiting for his response. “I want you to finish these for me..” Jay said, pulling out a stack of paper. Your eyes widened at the sight of the papers.. Of course he has to make your life a living hell.. what did you expect.. “What no? Isn’t that your job?” You said looking at him. “Yeah, but not in the mood to do them right now and they’re due quite soon soo..” You shake your head. Speaking up.. “Sir-this isn’t fair-“

“Quit being a brat..” You froze at his words. Brat? You’re a brat because you don’t want to do his work? “What the fuck-“ Jay silences you by putting his hand over your mouth.. “You talk too much, maybe I can make you shut up for once..cmon now get on your knees..” You do as he said and looked up at him. Well shit your ego is now being hurt. “You cause me a lot of stress..sweetie but don’t worry you cause a problem. I’ll make you fix it. Now suck my cock for me..” You want to shout at him, but unzip his zipper nonetheless. You can see his bulge through his boxers. Noticing his size. You slowly bring up your hand rubbing him. “Ah-shit. Don’t tease..” You move your hands upwards and pull his boxers down..revealing his cock.. gosh he’s an average-size but definitely slightly thicker. Your mouth waters at the sight of his cock. Jay notices this and smirks. “You like this don’t you..?” He chuckles.. “oh shut up..” you roll your eyes before you start pumping his cock between your hands.

Jay's breath stops for a moment enjoying the sensation. You smirk at this and inch your mouth closer to his tips and press a kiss on his tip. Tasting the pre-cum you moan at this taste of it, making jay’s cock twitch. You look up at Jay and notice his staring at you. With lust only in his eyes.. “C’mon now..you can take the rest of it..unless you want me to force it down your throat.” Lord no..so you began to take the rest of him down your throat slickly gagging. Jay lets out a quiet moan. “Fuck your mouth..such a slut aren’t you?” You moan around his cock before pulling away. You bring one of your hands and begin to play with his balls while your other hand goes down to your skirt trying to relieve yourself. Gosh your panites are drenched by your slick.

“You’re enjoying this as much as I am..” You moan as a response. You started going faster. Trying to get Jay to reach his orgasm. You can feel Jay pull on your hair. And soon enough. Jay reaches his high, coming is due your mouth.. “Shit..take it slut..take it like a good little slut you are..” and so you do. You swallow his seed, moaning at the taste of it. “Get up..” Jay says, demanding you. You get up and face him. Only for him to harshly start kissing you. You kiss him back. Who knew you would get yourself in this situation. But you don’t mind. Jay pulls away from the kiss. Making a string of saliva..connecting to each other's mouth. Jay turns you around, and bends you over his desk moving the papers in his desk to the side. He begins to remove your skirt leaving you in your panties which happened to be lace. Jay smirks at the sight in front of him. Jay smacks your ass, causing you to moan.. “So you like this..? What did I expect..you’re a slut. But only for me..” well that made you clench around nothing. “Use words..want to hear how much you enjoy it..”

“Please—fuck..just fuck me..” you begged who knew your would sumbitting to someone who was younger than you. “Since you asked so nicely..” Jay opens his drawer and reveals a box of condoms. You wanted to ask but just keep quiet. He rolls the condom onto his cock before putting his hands on your hips. Jay takes off your panties, throwing them somewhere in his office.. “Such a pretty pussy..all for me..” and just like that you feel his tip near your entrance..you start to feel him push himself inside of you. You try to contain a moan. Not risking getting caught. Your eyes roll at the feeling of him filling you up. “Keep quiet for me..don’t wanna get caught do you..” You only shake your head not trusting your mouth..

Jay begins with slow thrusts, letting you get used to his size. But that does last very long before he starts pounding into your needy cunt. Balls slapping against it. Jay pulls your hair making your eyes meet. Jay kisses you. In hopes of getting you to quiet a bit..one hand is using to pull onto his hair, while he starts bringing his other to wrap around your waist and starts rubbing your clit. You gasp at this action. Making you clench into him. You both know that you both won’t last very long due to the amount of pleasure you’re both giving to each other. “Let it go..finish for me slut..come on my cock..” and just like spell you reach your high. Slightly shaking. Jay starts pounding faster in order to reach his own high.. not 10 seconds later. Jay comes into the condom..you moan at the feeling of him filling it up. Jay stays in you for a while..before pulling out of you.. You get goosebumps at the emptiness down there. You both start dressing up. Silence fills the air, you begin to look for your panties. But Jay looks up at you and coughs. You face him, see him holding them..

“Can I have those back..?” You asked.. jay smirks at you before saying.. “No I’ll think I keep this for myself you know for the memories..and don’t forget this isn’t the last time..” jay walks up to you and kisses your cheek, shoving your panties into his pocket..and then walking away..

Author’s Note: I didn’t want to do this but umm here it is 🥱 OH YEAH I LIKE THIS ONE FAV SMUT SO FAR LIKE TY YOU BRAIN FOR BEING SMART.. it’s 2 am Ik writing hmm..weird but that’s how it works I write very late at night..

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joelslastofus · 1 month

Text

[SUMMARY: TW: miscarriage

Joel finds out you were pregnant and miscarried while he was on a work trip with Tommy.]

Angst fluff

Joel didn’t have to know you were pregnant in order to be hurt, the thought of you carrying his child was something he realized he wanted.

“I’ll be home soon, honey. I love you” Joel’s voice on the other end of the phone causing a knot in your throat.

“I love you too” you barely managed to say without a crack. Joel had no idea what had happened to you that morning. While Sarah was in school for the past seven hours you were in the hospital alone. Joel and Tommy had gone off to a work trip for the past two days and no one knew what was happening.

No one had even known you were pregnant.

It had only been a week since you learned you were pregnant. In shock and unsure of how Joel would feel about it you stalled telling him not thinking this would happen. You wish you would’ve told him the second you knew, you wished so badly for him to be there with you at this moment, you knew he would’ve been. Thankful to be back home you decided that you wouldn’t tell Joel. With a sigh you stood up leaving the room only to see Sarah standing by the dining room table looking down at a paper. Immediately your heart sunk, she wasn’t suppose to be home for another hour, you hadn’t even heard her come in.

“Sarah-“ you walked up towards her swallowing nervously as she slowly looked back between you and the paper.

“Sarah, I can explain” you began nervously. You would’ve never left your discharge papers on the table when you walked in had you known she would be home early today.

“You…you were pregnant?” The word still sending a shock through you.

“I…I-“ she finally looked up at you with confusion and shock herself.

“I was but-“

“What happened?”

“Um, I…I had a miscarriage” the reality somehow setting in once those words were spoken aloud. Sarah’s light eyes widened, a bit of guilt not expecting to have barged into something so private.

“It’s ok, Sarah…I’m fine now-“

“It says you were bleeding heavily” she spoke with concern.

“What did my dad say?” Once again your heart sinking, Sarah could tell by your reaction you hadn’t said a word to Joel.

“I..I haven’t had a chance-“

“What? Why not? You should call him, he’ll come home right away”

“I am ok, Sarah” you insisted slowly taking the papers from her hands.

“But you should be resting and-“

“Please don’t call your father, he’ll be home tomorrow night. I don’t want to worry him.”

Sarah sighed before noticing a hint of sadness in your eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Her question making you look up.

“There’s nothing to talk about but thank you, Sarah” quickly you turned away before she could spot the tears welling up in your eyes.

Sarah went to her room with the house phone hoping you wouldn’t notice. Staring at her door hoping you wouldn’t come in she called her father despite what you wanted.

“Hey dad, can you come home tonight?”

“I wish I could babygirl but Tommy and I have another night of work here, everything alright?” He responded as he held the phone between his shoulder and ear while working.

She stood silent which caught his attention.

“Sarah, baby what’s the matter?”

“Nothing I just think you should come home tonight” she finally expressed softly.

“Have you spoken to y/n today?”

“Not too long ago, why?” Joel stopped what he was doing grabbing the phone with his hand.

“What’s wrong with y/n?”

“Don’t tell her I called you, just come home tonight please? It’s not for me, I’m fine just please, dad”

“Alright, sweetheart. Don’t you worry, I’ll be there tonight” Sarah thanked him and hung up the phone not saying much of anything else.

Joel stood in place concerned with what could be going on, concerned with what his daughter couldn’t say.

“Alright, we’re leaving tonight” he turned to Tommy who raised a brow.

“There’s no way we can finish this today-“

“Well it’s gonna have to wait, got an issue back at home”

“What happened?”

“Don’t know, but start packin’” Joel began picking up supplies as his mind wandered off. He knew it must’ve been important, Sarah never bothered him for anything while he was at work.

That evening you stood in the kitchen washing dishes, everything still felt surreal for you yet you still refused to say a word. Sarah came out of her room and noticed you slightly lose your balance stepping to the side, the amount of blood loss making you woozy.

“You ok?” She asked making you stand up straight.

“Yes” you lied, even with pain medication the doctor gave you the experience was anything but comfortable. That’s when you heard Joel’s truck pull up in the front making you quickly turn off the water.

“Joel’s back?” You walked to the window as Sarah stood silently in the kitchen knowing why he returned.

“He didn’t tell me he was coming-“ you turned to Sarah knowing she must’ve said something.

“You called him didn’t you?” She stood silent not wanting you to get upset with her but she felt it was the right thing to do.

“Sarah, I asked you not to call him-“

“He doesn’t know anything, I just asked him to come early. You shouldn’t be going through this alone” she explained but before you could respond Joel walked in through the front door.

At first he stood silent, he could tell he had just walked into something.

“Where’s Tommy?” You asked trying your best to seem as casual as you could.

“He’ll be back in the mornin’” he set his bag down beside him before looking at Sarah whom stood beside you with her arms behind her back.

“Sarah” he waited for her to speak, to give him something, but she remained quiet.

“Look, I don’t know why Sarah called you, everything is fine-“

“Just tell him” Sarah insisted without looking up.

“Tell me what?” He raised a brow as he walked towards you stopping just a foot away. Joel knew you very well, he knew something was wrong.

“Talk to me,honey”

Looking down you began to fidget with your fingers, this wasn’t how you wanted to tell him.

“Joel, it’s nothing I just-“

“She was in the hospital” Sarah blurt out.

“Hospital?” A deep crease forming between his brows, concern in his voice.

“What happened? You alright?” He grabbed your face as if he was trying to see what was wrong but you quickly pushed his hands away.

“I am fine now I said” you walked towards the bedroom stepping inside as Joel quickly followed.

“If she won’t say it then I will” Joel turned back to Sarah. A tiny piece of you wanting Sarah to get it over with but you knew it had to be you.

“No” you quickly yelled out before she could say another word with your back to them.

“I…I was pregnant, Joel. I was pregnant and I lost the baby,” you blurt out shocking them both. You didn’t look back, you couldn’t bare the image of his brown eyes at the news. Joel felt like he had been hit with a ton of bricks, how didn’t he notice? Having a baby wasn’t something either of you had spoken of but you always wanted to be a mother.

Joel looked at Sarah and silently motioned for her to leave the room before he spoke. Sarah obliged and closed the door behind her just relieved that her father finally knew and that you weren’t alone. Joel turned back to you and could tell you were crying in silence. You could hear his footsteps slowly coming towards you before feeling his hands on your waist.

“C’mere” you took a deep breath before turning to him and burying your face in his chest. His arms wrapped around you as you for the first time allowed yourself to feel it.

Joel was silent hearing you cry..the thought of you alone in the hospital didn’t sit well with him. The thought of you being pregnant and him not knowing a thing…

You looked up at him and could tell he was lost in thought.

“Are you mad at me?”

Your question bringing his eyes quickly down to you.

“Of course not” he assured you.

“But I need you to understand one thing, darling” you looked up at him patiently to hear what he had to say.

“I can’t have you ever going through anything like this again and you not telling me, you understand?” he gently wiped your tears with his thumbs as you nodded and noticed his jaw tense up.

“How long did you know?”

“A week” you whispered seeing a hint of hurt in his eyes.

“I..I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know how you would feel. I was going to tell you when you came back…I didn’t expect this to happen” you began to cry again as his hands held your face.

“It’s alright, I’m here with you. Lets get you in bed” you took a deep breath and did as he said. Since coming home from the hospital you hadn’t exactly taken it slow the way the doctor asked. Laying in bed turning to your side you sighed as Joel covered you with a blanket.

“Where are you going?” You asked just as you felt the weight of his body on the bed beside you, his arm sliding over your waist pulling you perfectly against him.

“I’m right here, baby” he whispered in your ear. He kissed the side of your face holding you close as you for once felt some kind of calmness today.

After some time Joel made sure you were asleep and slowly slipped out of bed. Placing the blanket over you he kissed your forehead and walked out.

Sarah sat in the living room watching tv when she noticed her father come out of the room. He stood by the door rubbing the back of his neck, still taking in what he had just found out.

“She mad at me?” Sarah’s voice made Joel look up.

“No, sweetheart, she knows you were only worried” he walked towards her by the couch and sat down beside with her with a deep sigh.

“Did you guys plan this?” Sarah couldn’t help but ask. Joel silently shook his head leaning forward.

“I’m just as surprised as you were, kid”

“Well did you want a baby?”

Joel stood silent staring at the ground, a thought that hadn’t left his mind since you had expressed what happened. Yet, he didn’t know how to respond to that to his daughter, how would’ve Sarah felt?

“Look babygirl-“

“Dad, if you do it’s not gonna upset me. I like y/n, it’d be cool to have a sibling….” Sarah shrugged catching Joel off guard.

“I’m gonna go to bed” she stood up as she yawned before looking down at her father still lost in thought.

“I’m sorry about what happened” she unexpectedly leaned down and gave him a peck on the cheek before walking away. Sarah’s reaction only causing Joel to understand more of what exactly he was feeling.

He was hurt.

Joel didn’t have to know you were pregnant in order to be hurt, the thought of you carrying his child was something he realized he wanted.

He couldn’t imagine what it was like sitting alone in the hospital. He knew he should’ve listened to himself when he heard the way you sounded over the phone, something hadn’t seemed right but you brushed it off as a hard day at work. Staring into space thinking about all that happened he was distracted by you coming out of the bedroom. Quickly he stood up rushing towards you to make sure you were ok.

“I’m here, baby. I just couldn’t sleep” he stopped inches away as you leaned back against the wall.

“It’s ok, I just needed some water”

“Could’ve called out to me, I don’t want you doing more than you should” he walked towards the kitchen getting you a glass.

“I can get myself a cup of water, Joel” you responded softly following him to the kitchen.

You could still see the concern in his eyes.

“How do you feel?” He asked looking up as he bought you the glass.

“I’m ok, just tired” you could feel him watching you as you took a sip, you could feel there was more he wanted to say…more he wanted to know.

“How far long were you?” He crossed his arms leaning against the counter.

“Nine weeks”

He didn’t respond, pressing his lips together as he looked deep into thought. He caught himself lost in that moment and realized you were looking down in your own world, obviously upset. Joel reached for you grabbing your hand and slowly pulled you close against him. He didn’t say another word and he didn’t have to, the touch of him was always enough to give you a sense of calmness…Joel always had a way with touch. At a moment like this it’s all you really needed, his arms around you assuring you he was right there with you.

#pedro pascal #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller angst #joel miller x y/n #tlou fanfiction #the last of us

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wzy3ka · 9 months

Text

| silent treatment ·˚ ༘ L.HS (이희승)

Idol bf!hesseung x fem reader -1.3k-

warnings: kisses, angst, fluff

You and Hesseung have an argument and you give him the silent treatment

—————————————————————————

"Just leave me alone, okay? I'm so tired from practice and I don't want to argue with you." Heeseung sighs heavily and you just look at him in disbelief, your eyes stinging.

"Oh, I'm sorry for waiting for you because we had a date. I'm sorry because you forgot about it and left me waiting in the restaurant for so long and made me embarrass myself."

"I forgot! We had a sudden practice session, what was I supposed to say? I'm sorry, but no I need to go back? The boys wanted to leave too, why would it be only me?"

The way he raises his voice at you makes you fold your arms over your chest and stare at him while

you try not to take out your frustration on him.

You always love him, but now he's making you hate him so much and you don't want that to happen.

"Okay, I'm sorry." You say quietly and take a deep breath, running your fingers through your hair. "It's okay, it's my fault."

"Y/N?" He's frowning while staring at you in confusion and you know he was expecting you to argue more yet you won't do it this time.

You're sick of it.

"You should go shower, I'm sure you had a very stressful day." That's all you say before you turn around and head to your room.

The work you postponed for your date with Heeseung is looking down at you and you feel like a total idiot.

You just open your laptop and start working to take Heeseung off your mind.

You're frustrated and annoyed by his behavior but you won't do anything about it.

And that's when his nightmare starts.

"Y/N, let's have dinner." Heeseung opens the door to your shared room to find you looking at your laptop's screen while your back is facing him. "Y/N?"

Nothing. You don't answer him and he just stands there for a while, wondering if he has to do something.

When you hear him step towards you, you put down your pen and sigh. "I'm busy working."

You didn't intend for it to sound so cold and mean yet it did and he's taken aback. "Oh... I see. Okay."

He hesitates on asking you again then silently leaves the room, closing the door behind him and making your heart sink down.

As much as you hate this, you don't want him to take you for granted and know that you'll always come back to him at the end of the day.

He should know how it'd feel for you to leave him if that's what he really wants.

After a while, you stop working for a while and go out to grab something to eat. The kitchen is all clean and you sigh, starting to cook for yourself.

Heeseung must be in the living room because you can hear the TV on so you decide not to go eat there.

Although you want to watch the new episode of your favorite kdrama but you don't want to see him.

You just sit in the kitchen and silently eat while you watch videos on your phone. But your peace is interrupted with Heeseung walking in the kitchen.

"Why are you here? Let's go watch TV." He says but you just ignore him and continue eating. You hear him sigh. "I'm sorry about"

"I'm not even mad. I was wrong for stressing you out." You say and he frowns while you put the dishes in the sink and start washing them, ignoring his presence.

"But I"

You just walk past him and out of the kitchen, leaving him standing there with a heart as heavy as yours.

When it's time to sleep, you hear him open the door and walk inside before you close your laptop and organize your papers.

"Are you going to sleep?" Heeseung asks but you just take out a blanket and grab your pillow before going out of the room.

But he goes after you, holding your hand and stopping you. "I want to sleep in the living room." You say, not even looking at him.

"Why? We always sleep together. Why do you-“

"I posponed today's work to go out with you but we didn't so I had to do it anyways. Now I'm so busy, so will you please let me rest?"

"But-" He tries to speak when you ignore him once again and just walk past him.

Your behavior is breaking his heart but he knows he deserves it for snapping at you and taking out his stress on you.

Heeseung's worst fear is that one day you leave him but sometimes he becomes selfish and takes you for granted without realizing it.

But deep down, he loves you so much he can never live without you. And that's what's scaring him the most because he'll never be ready to face it.

However, he decides not to bother you anymore and silently makes his way back to your shared room before closing the door behind him.

Somehow the room feels empty without your presence, and he fails to close his eyes and drift to sleep.

All he can think about is you and the possibility of you leaving him.

He wants to apologize over and over again but he knows you need some time and although it's killing him, he'll bear with it because he can't lose you.

A few minutes pass and he slowly opens the door to hear you talking on the phone.

"He should have just texted me and told me he's not coming instead of making me wait. I felt so embarrassed when I left the restaurant alone." You say and he stops on his tracks.

"I know. That really sucks." Haerin, your best friend, says on the other side of the line.

"If I'm stressing him out and he needs space then we should just break up and-" The thought brings tears to your eyes and you feel yourself getting emotional.

"Y/N, it's going to be alright. You just need to talk it out with him. It'll be fine."

You talk with her for a little more then hang up and put your phone away so you can sleep.

However, some time later, you feel Heeseung put another blanket over you. You don't move because you don't want him to know that you're awake, but your heart aches.

You want to hold him and cuddle with him and the fact that you can't is so frustrating.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I never meant to make you feel that way" You hear him say and you frown. "But I don't want us to b-break up."

Realization suddenly hits you. He heard you.

When you hear him sob quietly, you sit up and look at him with worry written all over your face. You're mad at him, but seeing him cry is your weakness.

"Heeseung...”

"I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have talked to you that way." He says and reaches for your hand. " don't want to lose you, Y/N. I don't want to come back home to find you g-gone...”

"I'm not going anywhere." You say and pull him for a tight hug while he just sighs heavily.

"I'm sorry for leaving you waiting, we had a sudden practice and everyone was stressed because of too much work and I just-"

"It's okay, I'm not mad at you. I was disappointed we couldn't spend time together, but I'm not mad at you. Hm?"

You make him face you before you kiss the tip of his nose. "I'm so sorry, Y/N.”

Heeseung wraps his arms around you and kisses your forehead before he puts his head on your shoulder.

"I love you, Heeseung. I would never want to stress you out-“

"I'm never stressed because of you. You're the reason I'm smiling everyday."

#lee heeseung #lee heesung x reader #enha #heeseung #enhypen scenarios #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen x you #angst #enhypen fluff

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luveline · 9 months

Note

Derek and shy!reader maybe? Meeting the team for the first time and none of them are expecting Derek's partner to be standing half-hidden behind him, shyly waving at them instead of saying anything

thank you for ur request! fem!reader

"So what's the deal?" Emily asks Penelope, licking the stem of her paper umbrella dry before dropping it onto a napkin. "He's suddenly going steady?"

"Can you call five months sudden?" Rossi asks.

Hotch nudges him.

"What?" Rossi asks. "Can you? Five months is a long time."

"And that's why you had to send Christmas cards to three different divorce lawyers this year," Emily says.

Emily has a penchant for saying the occasional brazen comment, but JJ confiscates her friend's margarita anyways, before the booze loosens her lips and she says something worse. It's a small jet.

"It's not like Morgan," Spencer agrees, standing at Rossi's other side, looking less out of place than usual.

"It's totally like him," Penelope says.

Hotch's smile is hard to read, which is a spectacle considering current company. "I agree."

"Here he is now," Penelope says excitedly, clapping her hands in front of her chest.

Derek strides into the bar and past its patrons without a care in the world. He looks happy, content, and the team doesn't need to see you to know you're with him. He smiles at his phone at work exactly as he smiles now, with his arm stretched backwards to tether you along.

You come into view as the crowd thins. You're not what anyone's expecting, certainly not plain but nor are you dressed up. Emily, in her tipsiness, declares that you look adorable, and receives a reproachful look from Hotch in reward.

"Hey Derek!" JJ calls as soon as he's near enough.

"Hey, guys. Mama, you remember what we talked about?" Derek asks Penelope.

She nods sagely. "Restraint. I'm restraining myself. Oh my god you're so cute, I'm Penelope! I'm so happy to meet you."

"Hi," you say.

No less than five pairs of eyes fall to your hand as you twist your fingers into Derek's sleeve. He doesn't bat an eye, taking a half step in front of you, a picture of casualness as he introduces you to each of them in turn.

"It's nice to meet you," Hotch says, seemingly speaking for the whole group.

You raise your hand and give a stilted wave. Your eyes look sad and stressed at once, but you don't sound either, softly saying, "You too."

Derek wraps a muscled arm behind your neck, grinning while he meets Penelope's eyes. "What are we drinking tonight?"

Your eyebrows pinch up at the starts. You smile at them all despite your obvious nervousness, and it's enough for each of them to reach the same conclusion simultaneously. You're shy, but you're good. A broad sweep yet easy to make. It's obvious how much you care for Derek if you'd been willing to meet them like this when you clearly don't feel comfortable.

Luckily for you, Penelope is excellent as making people feel welcome. "We're drinking Y/N's choice. What do you like? Sugar shots? Mojitos?"

Your lips part, unprepared for a direct question so soon.

Derek turns his head to yours, giving you what Emily deems the most ridiculous puppy dog eyed smile anyone has ever given, and what Rossi knows is a ring waiting to happen. He should know.

"Let's go figure it out. Another round, from me?" he offers.

He's quick to steer you away, but not too quick to miss Rossi's, "Something strong if you want us old timers to stay!"

They wait for you to be safely out of earshot before they condense, bad gossips and worse actors off the job. "Who would've thought?" Emily asks.

"She's not what I was expecting," JJ says.

"Are we that intimidating?" Rossi asks, raising his eyebrows. The answer being yes, of course, though none of them are aware of just how scary they can be. You'd felt like you were standing in front of a pack of wolves.

"She seemed nice," Spencer says. Trust him to say something sweet. Trust the rest of Derek's friends to agree, the group nodding and humming at various pitches.

"She seemed silent," Emily jokes.

Penelope crosses her fingers and closes her eyes, earrings swinging against the blond tresses of her curled hair as she drops her head. "God, my muffin deserves nice. Please let this work out, she looks so sweet. I just wanna pinch her cheeks."

"It's gonna work out," Hotch says surely.

If Derek could hear him, he'd agree on the spot, but he's too busy praising you halfway across the room for such a stellar introduction.

#derek morgan #derek morgan x reader #derek morgan x you #derek morgan x y/n #derek morgan x fem!reader #derek morgan imagine #derek morgan fluff #derek morgan fanfic #derek morgan oneshot #derek morgan scenario #derek morgan drabble #derek morgan fic #derek morgan fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader

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alhaithamsproperty · 10 months

Text

you’re the best i ever had, you’re the worst i ever had

Theo Nott x Reader

plot: you and theo used to be close, until one day you weren’t, and he can’t get your attention in any other way than being mean to you | angst, angst, angst

I’m so fucking sorry, I’m so fucking sorry

I’ve been playing somebody and it’s helping nobody

And now I’m sick, throwing fists

And I have seen you in my head every fucking day since I left

— 11 minutes, yungblud

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

“Hey,” you mumbled to him, getting no answer, as per usual, and as always, he wondered if you’d ever stop saying hi to him on a Thursday morning before Potions.

Apparently not.

Draco sat infront of you, and mumbled a “shit!” before turning to you, “Y/N did you finish the assignment?”

“Oh… um, no,” you forgot about all your assignments lately. Theo occupied your mind way too much.

“What did you expect, that her dumb ass did it?” Theo mumbled and shoved his own finished paper at Malfoy. Your heart dropped and even Draco gave him a puzzled look. The friend group knew you and Theo stopped talking, they didn’t know most of the things he said to you tho.

But he shrugged it off, not caring much, and turned around to quickly copy the homework.

You stay quiet, practically not moving an inch, lost in your own head. You hear Theo smirk next to you. “Don’t act so surprised, it’s true,” he whispered.

You ignore him, knowing any word coming out of your mouth would be a stutter. You looked down on your own paper, deciding to at least try finish some of it before the class starts.

You read the first question and don’t even finish reading it, your eyes instead glued on your shaky hand. Theo notices too. “Aww,” he pouts, “don’t tell me you are upset now.”

“Fuck off Theo,” you finally say back, your voice breaking before saying his name. You never thought you’d be saying his name like this. With so much sorrow.

He lets out a silent laugh, “Do you wanna know what the funniest thing is?”

“No.”

“You can’t help but say hi to me every time. You hate me yet you seek me out every chance you get, hoping I’ll talk to you. It’s honestly amusing.” His voice was sharp.

You stay silent for a moment, gathering yourself up, hoping you won’t break. “Maybe I should stop.” You finally say. Not even denying anything he just said. It was the truth. You both knew it was. It just hurt as hell.

He laughs. “Now why would you do that? You would be so lonely without the only human interaction you keep so desperately hoping for. Plus you’d have no one to annoy.”

You don’t answer him. There are thoughts racing through your mind, you want to tell him so badly to go to hell, but you just don’t manage to say anything.

He leans closer to you, and whispers, just a little lower than his previous words, “You sure you don’t wanna tell me what’s on your mind?”

“You know,” you say, but don’t look at him, feeling anger gather in you as well, “you talk way too fucking much for someone who’s annoyed by me and wants me out of their life.” This time you do. You glare at him.

He looks you in the eye for a moment, and then smirks. “But I like to annoy you. You’re just too easy to rile up. It’s pathetic.”

You break eye contact with him again. It was the first time in a long time you even looked him in the eye, and you managed to feel tears staining your cheeks. You didn’t want him to see it. And in that very moment, you felt your heart truly break. Your teacher appeared in the door the very second you grabbed your bag and got up.

“Ah, miss Y/N—“

“Sorry,” your voice broke as you walked past the teacher.

“That’s a shame, she didn’t finish the paper,” the teacher mumbled as he was taking all the papers from his students.

“She left it here,” Theo said and gave him the paper Draco managed to sneak back to him a second ago.

“Hm. And your paper, Mr. Nott?”

“I forgot about it… sorry.”

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Something Theo told you this morning broke you. You’ve slowly been breaking for the last few months, whenever he’d ignore you, look away from you, not answer you or use cruel words, a little bit of you died. And there was nothing left after today.

You cried in your room for hours, thinking about when it all got so fucked up. You used to be close friends, taking classes together, going to the Forbidden forest together, he liked you enough to introduce you to his friends, even. One time he even got in a fight for you when some ass from Gryffindor tried to touch you.

Eventually you ended up kissing a few times, and stealing touches, and before you knew it he spent a few nights in your room, keeping you warm and whispering sweet promises that meant absolutely nothing now.

And then it stopped. Just like that. At first he ignored you, and then the cruel words came in, and it kept getting worse, all up until today.

Who knows how you even ended up here, in the middle of a Slytherin party, drowning in yet another drink.

“Hey, don’t you wanna calm down with that?” Draco laughed next to you and grabbed the cup from your hands. You gave him a quick look and reached for a new cup, and almost drank the whole thing again. “Nope.”

“Right. My guess is it’s to do with Nott?”

“Who?”

“Very funny,” he rolled his eyes and grabbed your back to stop you from falling. “Well, if you are over him, Cormac has been asking about you.” Theo almost broke his nose when he asked him, but Draco didn’t tell you that. It would be to no good.

“I can put a word in for myself, thank you,” Cormac suddenly appeared by your side and snuck his arm around your waist. Draco rolled his eyes and disappeared.

“What the fuck was that?!” Theo jumped in front of him and shoved him without thinking.

“Calm down,” Draco shrugged him off and took another sip from the cup he confiscated earlier. “It’s at least gonna be funny,” he nodded to Cormac leaning over your body and mumbling something to you.

“No the fuck it won’t,” Theo growled at him. He looked at you again, and the way Cormac was practically all over you… didn’t you mind?

Gosh, you were so infuriating, did you know that?

He noticed the way your hand brushed over Cormacs, and suddenly he felt sick to his stomach as well.

He noticed the way he kept telling you some bullshit and the way you giggled. And he thought to himself don’t you dare kiss him.

He swore he saw you look at him for just a second, like your eyes searched for him in the crowd, but before he could even process that, you were the one pulling Cormac in for a kiss.

You kissed Cormac. And it felt… wrong. Every single second of that kiss you were just thinking that he’s not Theo. How kissing Theo felt right, and how wrong this feels. You felt his hands on your hips and you felt like crying and breaking down again at the thought of Theo. Why couldn’t it be him?

You felt your eyes water again, but before you could pull back, someone pulled Cormac back so roughly he turned around immediately, and you just saw Theo slam his arm down on Cormacs face. And keep beating and kicking him until his friends dragged him away.

You felt furious. You grabbed his shoulder and turned him to you. “What the fuck Theo?!”

“You kissed him! I fucking—“

“And why the FUCK DO YOU CARE?!” You yelled at him, screaming in frustration. You saw him freeze in his spot for a moment.

He gathered his breath. “Because… you’re mine.”

This time you were the one to laugh at him. For the first time in months he heard your laugh and it didn’t sound as pretty as it used to. At all. “No, I’m fucking not. You keep hurting me, the only thing you do is hurt me and laugh at me, I don’t want to be yours. I wanted to, I really did…” you looked him in the eye, and found your voice breaking again, “but you pushed me away.”

He grabbed your arm, squeezing it in desperation, “You wouldn’t have kissed Cormac, would you? Tell me, why did you kiss him?”

“I don’t know…”

He raised his voice at you. “Don’t lie to me!”

You felt your eyes tearing up again. You tried to get away from his grip, all you wanted to do right now was to get away from him. You never wanted to feel this way. “Leave me alone.”

His grip only tightened as his voice got louder. “The truth, Y/N. Did you kiss him to make me mad?”

You looked at him in disbelief. “And why would me kissing someone even fucking matter?! You hate me, remember?”

He grew angry, he stepped closer to you, staring into your eyes. “Answer me. Did you do it to spite me or did you do it because you are attracted to him?”

“I did it to forget about you Theo.” You say, and his grip on you becomes loose, for the first time in so long you see an expression on his face. “Because you are in my head every fucking day since you left. And it hurts so much. You hurt me so much.”

He wanted to get closer to you, to say something, but you shook your head. “It’s your turn to answer the question. Why would you care if I kiss some random guy?”

“I don’t want some asshole hanging over you. I want you to myself…” he whispered.

“Then why do you treat me the way you do?”

He avoided eye contact with you, his body was shaking, he was fucked up, and it was the first time you saw him like this. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how else to keep your attention, how to tell you how I feel. Do you understand?”

You were staring at him. Did he realise how ridiculous he sounded? “No, I don’t understand Theo. Just leave me alone.” You pulled away from his grip and turned around to walk away.

“Wait,” he chased after you and turned you around to him. “You still care about me?”

You looked down. Breaking at how pathetic you’re gonna sound now. “I will always care about you Theo… even if you don’t.”

He bites down on his lip in frustration, “Listen to me, I do care, okay? I do care, and I’m sorry,” he picked your chin up and looked you in the eye. And you saw in his eyes that this was still your Theo.

“Please understand. I don’t know how to show how I feel. How can you even stand me after the way I acted?”

You watch him and feel a tear, you quickly wipe it, afraid you’re gonna look dumb, ridiculous, pathetic, and all those other stuff he called you. “I don’t know.”

He gently wiped your cheek with his thumb and pressed a kiss on the spot. “I’ll get better, I promise. Just… give me another chance. Please.”

You go quiet for a moment. “Okay…” you give him a small nod. His eyes lit up, but before he can say anything, you continue, “one chance Theo. One. If you mess it up I’m gone forever.”

He gives you a small sad smile. “I’ll be good. I promise, just don’t leave me. I don’t know what I would do if you were gone. You don’t wanna know what I would do if you were gone.”

“Okay…” you mumble and give him a quick kiss, then pull him in for a hug. Theo wraps his arms around your waist and holds you close to him, letting out a deep breath.

He kissed the top of your head first, and then grabbed your chin again to force you to look at him. “Can I?” He leaned closer.

You gave him a quick nod. “Please…”

And he kissed you. Properly. Deeply. Hoping you’ll know how he feels if his words can’t tell you. You kiss him back, and it feels okay.

“Let’s get out of here…”

#theodore nott x you #theodore nott #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott imagines #theodore nott x reader #theo nott #theo nott imagine #theo nott imagines #theo nott x reader #lorenzo zurzolo #slytherin

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rosepascal · 10 months

Text

crave || Joel Miller Smut

summary: After the mysterious man you now know as Joel Miller leaves you his address and a message to find him, you do just that. How will the man who ruined you be in person?

warnings: MINORS DNI, NSFW, 18+ ONLY, afab!reader, dirty talk, swearing, blowjobs, minor face fucking, choking on dick, spanking, prone bone positon/weighted blanket Joel, unprotected sex, creampie, crying during sex.

a/n: The highly anticipated part 2 to desire is here! Honestly im so nervous that this doesn't live up to peoples expectations so if it doesn't then im sorry. I really do hope you like this even a fraction as much as you loved desire. Speaking of which the reaction to desire has been so so amazing and I want to thank you all for it. Its really motivated me and it makes me so happy. Also the wifi here sucks and i cant add a gif sooo mb

part one: desire || Can be read standalone

Why were you so Nervous, It’s just sex. Just sex with a man who absolutely rocked your fucking world. You had no idea who he is or what he looks like, and he doesn’t even know your name. But if the s. is that good, then who cares.

It's just before dusk that you finally head over to his place. Easily sneaking past FEDRA guards as their schedules have become predictable at this point. As you walk up the steps you start to get nervous. You triple check the address and the apartment number scribbled on the piece of paper he left you.

Taking a deep breath, you knock on the door. There’s shuffling behind the door and before you’re ready it swings open. Your eyes widen as you take in the man in front of you.

Is this Joel? You sure hope it is because fuck. Is he hot. His hair is slicked back and peppered with streaks of grey. His beard is patchy but full enough to fill his face. His eyes, oh god his eyes. Despite what appears to be a permanent glare etched onto his face, it doesn’t scare you. Your eyes drift down to his body and you’re practically ready to climb him like a tree.

His shoulders are broad and his button up shirt stretches around his arms and chest. He’s got a bit of a tummy, but you like it that way. It doesn’t take away from how strong he is. You already know how big it is, if lingering soreness is any indication. He puts his arm on the door frame and leans against it.

“Joel?” He looks confused for a moment before realization flashes in his eyes. He smirks and he looks you up and down.

“Well, hey there baby. Glad to see you got my message.” His voice is low and sexy as he already feels himself getting hard in his pants. Joel didn’t indulge in places like that very often, but your pussy was quite memorable. Putting on your best flirty look you press your hands to his chest.

“You glad to see me? Because I’m glad to see you.” You purr as you drag your hands down to his belt. Tugging on it lightly. His eyes darken as he grabs your wrists and pulls them back up.

“Careful baby, if you look at me like that for much longer, I’ll have you on your knees right here.” He growls in your ear. Smirking you lean over and gently bite the lobe of his ear.

“Promise?” The door slams behind you as his arms wrap around your waist.

His lips crash into your own, his tongue shoving itself into your mouth as he groans loudly. You messily unbutton his shirt as he practically rips your undone.

“Fuck.” You look at your now ruined shirt and scowl, but Joel can’t seem to care.

“Sorry baby, couldn’t help myself.” He has a mattress in the corner of the room, and it looks clean enough.

“Lay down old man.” You tease and he chuckles.

“Old man? You weren’t calling me old when I was pounding my cock into this pussy.” He cups your cunt and runs his fingers along until he rubs against your clit making you whimper.

He smirks but he does lay down on the mattress. He props his back against the wall and waits. Discarding your ruined clothes, he watches hungrily as you strip each piece away, revealing your naked body.

“So beautiful baby.” He mumbles as you throw your last piece of clothing off.

“Not too bad yourself handsome.”

You straddle his waist and kiss him. Your hands cupping his face as you slowly grind your hips. His cock is already hard underneath you. The rough material of his jeans creating a delicious friction against your clit.

“Fuckin’ dirty.” He slaps your ass and grabs your hips.

It was pure torture for Joel. An incredibly pleasurable torture. Joel raises his hips and helps you take off his jeans. With a wicked smirk you lean down and lick the tip of his cock.

Ever since that night with Joel you’ve dreamed of getting down on your knees and sucking his cock. Taking as much as you can in your mouth you use your hand to pump the rest of it. Joel's hands fly to your head, guiding your mouth up and down.

The sounds of your choking only making him harder, making him hornier. He can’t help but thrust his hips up and shove his dick down your throat.

“S’okay baby, you can take it.” His thumb runs along your cheek and despite the tears falling down your face you nod.

You’re incredibly turned on from the force Joel uses and his sweet but filthy words. His groans fill the room as you happily choke on his cock. You can feel him twitching in your mouth but before he can blow his load, he pulls you off. Taking deep breaths, you look at him confused.

“Don’t wanna finish in your mouth, rather fill you up again.” He grabs your waist and together you move until you’re pinned on your stomach.

“Been thinkin’ about you baby, hoped you would show up soon.” He gropes your ass unashamedly.

Admiring it and squeezing it with his hands. He lightly slaps it making you jump. Slowly he reaches down and admires your cunt. It’s already wet and ready for him. Just how he likes it. He sticks two fingers into his mouth before sliding them into your cunt. Fucking you slowly on them to open you up.

“Joelll” You whine, wanting more than just his fingers. He tuts and slaps your ass again.

“So fuckin’ needy.” Despite his words he grants your wish and pulls his fingers out and lines his cock up with your cunt. With a loud grunt he slams his hips forward, burying himself deep inside of you in one thrust.

“Oh Joel!” You moan loudly, clenching around him tightly.

“I can’t…Fuck.” Your face falls into the mattress. Every single one of your senses are overwhelmed. All you can feel is Joel, all you can hear are the small sounds he’s making.

“You didn’t have a problem taking me last time baby…Let this old man fuck you real nice.” He practically falls on top of you.

Trapping you under his weight and forcing you to take him even deeper. His hands cover yours and pin them next to your head. His nose nudging against your cheek as he pulls back his hips and fucks into you roughly.

His thrusts are slow but hard. Sending shocks through your body with each one. His grunts sound like thunder in your ear as he starts to lose his composure.

Your skin is so warm, so soft. Your moans aren’t muffled this time, he can hear them loud and clear. Every little whimper, every little gasp for air. All his doing.

He growls like a fucking animal as he pounds his hips faster. His cock is driving deep into you. So much deeper than you thought possible. Over and over again.

Hitting a spot inside you that sends tears running down your face. Good tears. Fucking great tears. You dreamed of being fucked like this. You feel safe under him. Even if he’s rearranging your guts right now.

“Joel..Need you..Please.” You tilt your head up, your face wet with tears as you beg him to send you over the edge. Your orgasm has been building and you need a little more to make you come. Though truthfully you could come just from his cock at this point.

“I got you, don’t you worry. I’ll take good care of you.” He truly means it.

Now that he’s seen your face, held your body, made you scream his name. There’s no way in hell he’s letting you walk out that door. You let out a shocked cry as he pulls his dick out. He gets onto his knees and flips you on your stomach.

“I wanna look at your pretty face while you come on my cock baby.” Pushing your legs apart he fucks into you again.

At this angle he can see everything. Just as he wants it. Your eyes had been screwed shut due to the pleasure, but you force them open, wanting to see Joel.

Any ounce of resolve you once had is gone when you meet his eyes. His mouth hangs open, sweat glistens on his face and chest. He’s perfect. He’s everything you want. They way he looks at you, the intensity burning in his eyes, paired with his cock buried deep in your pussy. It’s enough to send shockwaves through your body. Your orgasm crashes through your body and leaves you shaking and moaning under Joel.

He watches in awe as you thrash and squeeze his cock. It doesn’t take long for him to come hard, how could he hold back while your cunt milks him for all he’s got. He comes hard and for a long time. Squirting into you until his cum is dripping out of you.

“Stay here. I’ll take care of you I promise.” Joel spills out. His head is in the clouds, but he means every word. This isn’t just a meaningless fuck. He feels something. Something deep inside that he won’t let go.

“Doesn’t that sound nice hm? I know how to get things. I’ll teach ya and in return you can let me fuck you senseless every night.” He buries his face in your neck.

Biting and sucking roughly as he comes down from his high. Moaning softly, you wrap your arms around his neck. You don’t have to think about it. Not for a second. You want this, you want him. You need him in your life, in your bed, and especially in between your legs.

“Yes,” You cup his face and bring him to meet your eyes.

Admiring every little thing about him that you can. Capturing his lips in a passionate kiss he groans, hands wandering your body, bringing you as close to him as he can.

“I’ll stay."

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction

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maitadori · 11 months

Text

I MISSED YOU sfw. jing yuan x afab!reader.

word count : 2.6k

summary : in which jing yuan goes on a two week expedition and you both miss each other dearly.

content / cw : suggestive, making out, fluff, a small pint of angst, whipped jing yuan, emotionally constipated reader

a/n : more assistant reader and general jing yuan mwah

DARK CONTENT BLOGS PLZ DNI!!!!

"i'm going on an expedition tomorrow. it’s gonna last two weeks,” jing yuan says, trapping you against his desk. you’re silent, ignoring him. jing yuan pouts his lips and huffs.

when you don’t speak, he whispers in your ear, “you'll miss me, right?" a smug smile curls his lips as he tugs on your clothing.

you sift through his documents and answer blankly, "no."

jing yuan chuckles as he tugs you into him, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and placing his chin on your head.

"you didn't even consider it. you wound me."

"i'll really wound you if you don't get some work done."

jing yuan merely kisses your neck, watching in satisfaction as you shiver and fumble the papers. "i leave tomorrow for two weeks and work is all you think about..”

“general, cut it out..."

"you're so cute." his voice is muffled as he continues placing soft pecks on the skin of your neck, traveling his lips to caress your jaw. his arms move to wrap around your waist and you put a hand over his to try and push him away while your other tries to cover his mouth.

he sees it coming and kisses your fingers, grabbing them to kiss your knuckles softly as you finally turn to look at him with a flushed expression.

with others, they'd instantly assume you were upset, but he could tell; he knew you like the back of his hand.

"why do you refuse to do your work?" you whisper, as if afraid to shatter the atmosphere.

"you really expect me to sign boring papers when you're in front of me?"

"then i'm distracting you?"

"terribly so."

"then i must leave. i can't be the one to hold the general back from his duties," you say, genuinely and sternly.

jing yuan tightens his hold on you before you can attempt to escape.

"who said it was a bad thing?"

"no one had to!!! it is a bad thing!!! let me go," you groan out, struggling in his hold.

"tell me you'll miss me and i'll consider it."

"i'd rather die!!"

in response, jing yuan kisses your cheek, chuckling and smiling as he does. he ventures dangerously close to your lips. his hands are traveling all over you now, nimble fingers trailing past the hem of your shirt and caressing your skin.

"jing yuan!" your tone is scolding.

"i love it when you say my name," he groans, kissing the corner of your lips. "can i kiss you? please?" he finishes off with a demand that he needs his fill of you before his expedition.

he's pleading, a thing that isn't rare, but it is when it's genuine and not teasing. the whiny lilt to his voice has your stubborn wall crumbling.

"yes..." you sigh out blissfully, chastising yourself for your lack of protest. you’re barely able to finish before he's molding his mouth with yours.

you always relented when it came to him, if you were to tell him how much of a spoilt brat he was, he'd most likely giggle and agree. the mere thought of that has you reciprocating his fervent kiss tenfold.

he pulls apart slightly to whisper against your lips, “just by this i know you’ll miss me, but i really want you to say it.” he panting, watching fondly as your grapple him as an attempt to reel him back to you. it’s so endearing, because mere minutes ago you were doing the opposite.

that alone had him almost diving back in and kiss you breathless and mindless to the point where you’d forget your name. almost. but if jing yuan was anything, it was relentless.

“c’mon, i know you’ll miss me, all you have to do is say it.”

but jing yuan also knew that if you were anything, it was stubborn.

“so i could boost your ego?” you tried to sound upset, but your voice was so breathy that you failed immensely.

“i’ll kiss you until the only thing you can think about is me. just say the magic words,” jing yuan says smugly, smirking.

“who said i wanted that!?”

“you don’t have to. it’s written all over your face.” he nibbles your bottom lip, watching the way your eyes instantly gaze down at his lips. “i’m gonna be gone for two weeks. fourteen days without seeing your face, without you seeing mine. won’t you miss me? i know i’ll miss you. i’ll be thinking about your lips so much i doubt i’ll get much done.”

his words had a blanket of desire cover you full. it had you feeling so warm you swore you were drowning in it. how he was able to openly express his want for you embarrassed you beyond belief. it was such an overwhelming feeling; to hear someone talk about craving you in such a direct way. your lips parted and your pupils shrunk.

“w-what..?”

he kissed the corner of your lip. you squeezed your eyes shut.

“you heard me. please, [name], just say you’ll miss me,” his tone has a teasing lilt to it, it makes you a bit infuriated, because you know he’ll never let it go if you do say it. but like always, you couldn’t help but indulge him.

plus his lips looked very inviting.

“i’ll miss you, a lot. you’re all i’ll think about the entire time you’re gone,” you whine out quietly.

he smiles— not smirks— smiles. and it sends your heart racing. but before you can admire it, he’s on you.

“i’ll miss you so much, beloved.” he whispers against your lips.

beloved.

it’s been two days since jing yuan left. it’s not as bad as he anticipated.

well… for you it wasn’t. for him, you couldn’t really say that.

he missed you, it was apparent. if his millennium of texts were anything to go by. the corniness of it all had you scoffing endearingly. he was so adorable sometimes— something you’d never admit to him.

you did as you usually did when he was out, working on documents he left behind and sending letters. he wasn’t in his office often, so the loneliness and silence was something that was easy getting used to.

but as the first week came about, you couldn’t deny the small seed of dread in your stomach.

even if you were used to being alone in his office while he was gone, it was because you knew he’d be coming back within the day. he insisted it was just to see you. so although it was easy getting used to the day routine, the same couldn’t be said for the night; when you expected his arrival and soft voice echoing through the room as he talked about being excited to see you.

but like everything else, you learned to get used to it.

you picked up your phone, setting down your pen. the light of your device illuminated and you adjusted your eyesight to stare at jing yuan’s contact.

you hadn’t texted back.

jing yuan himself admitted he’d think of you the entire time. while it warmed your heart, it also cracked it a little.

you didn’t want to be a burden on your general’s conscious. he was busy and he didn’t need distractions.

jing yuan either got the message and hasn’t texted you, or he was just that busy. you assumed the latter.

you simply clicked the power button of your phone, turned off your ringer, set it on your desk face down, and picked up your pen.

you survived two decades without jing yuan in your life before you became his assistant, what was one more week?

it was hell, was what jing yuan deduced. the sudden influx of mobs on other ships had increased past a population jing yuan couldn’t ignore. bringing yanqing along helped a lot. for being so young, the boy was very strong.

he’d opposed to it at first, but yanqing convinced his general that it could be apart of his training. plus, if anything were to happen, jing yuan was there. he couldn’t argue with that.

and not to mention that yanqing was a huge remedy to jing yuan’s loneliness. he wasn’t opposed to being by himself, no, but he knew he’d only be capable of thinking about you.

it’s been 9 days, you hadn’t returned his last texts, and knowing you, he figured out why pretty quickly. you probably assumed yourself a burden. which wasn’t true, but you must’ve grown in an environment where you were treated as such, so jing yuan was aware how ridding you of that mindset could take awhile.

before, all he could think of was finally kissing you again. but now, all he wanted to do was hold you.

he remembers not too long ago when he insisted that he becomes yours, officially. but you protested, saying that it wasn’t good for his occupation, and that people would talk. at first, the idea of it didn’t bother him. when you’re the general, people talked about you all the time. so he was used to it, but he also realized that can’t be said for you.

you like being unknown to people, the solitude and the lack of interaction. you always told jing yuan you were fine with the little group you knew. sushang, bailu, yanqing, fu xuan, and him. you didn’t need anyone else.

he promised that it could be secret, anything to be with you. but you suddenly looked sad, and whispered quietly, “i don’t want to be your little secret, jing yuan. but i also don’t want to be scrutinized. so can you wait for me, please?”

he affirmed that he would, but jing yuan could also be a liar. he truly couldn’t get enough of you. he doesn’t think you understand just how special you are to him, how infatuated he is with you.

so he thinks about you for the remaining five days, hoping it’ll be enough to get him by before you’re in his arms.

you’re restless. everyone can tell. it’s gotten so bad to the point where even sushang herself insisted to help you, and that girl was anything but helpful.

you missed him, terribly so. and everyone could tell.

fu xuan pointed it out once and you could only groan, “don’t even say that…”

she giggled at your demise, telling you as she snickered that it was extremely obvious. she also held it over your head and said that if you didn’t take a break, she’d tell the general just how much you yearned for him. you relented faster than you could exhale.

having a day out with fu xuan was lovely. even if she was a bit bossy, she was still really fun. also, who knew she was a gossiper? that was a small tidbit about her you never knew, but welcomed all the same.

when you started to part ways and you changed your direction from your home to the office, fu xuan glared at you scoldingly.

“if i find out you stayed past midnight, i’m gonna tell the general,” it was a silly threat that had you laughing. you waved her off and walked your path.

you got comfortable behind the desk, basking in the familiar scent of your general. you stared at the documents and tilted your head. being his assistant was already somewhat taxing, you couldn’t imagine the load as a general.

you huffed and picked up your pen, dragging the work to you and writing away.

sometime later, you started drifting off to sleep. your head bobbed and you jerked up everytime your head drooped a little too low. you blinked blearily, looking at the small clock on jing yuan’s desk. you clicked your tongue. it was far past midnight. you must be lost track of time.

you prayed fu xuan didn’t find out, or she’d humiliate you beyond belief. you couldn’t help the urge to distract yourself anytime jing yuan entered your mind.

while ruminating in your thoughts, a small jiggle of the door handle had you stiff in your seat.

speak of the devil. you thought, waiting for fu xuan and her burning glare as the door creaked open.

but your eyes widened and your pen dropped once the door opens. your lips press tight together and your brows knit.

jing yuan enters in all his glory, still as handsome as he always was.

“g-general…” were the only words you could muster.

he looked a bit roughed up. you could only guess he might’ve got into some trouble. but he looked the same, warm as ever. he met your eyes and smiled softly. it had your heart pounding in your ribcage.

you noticed how you must’ve looked and instantly tried to gain composure, “w-welcome back.” you coughed into your fist.

you could hear him chuckle and the sound of his shoes as he approached you. your eyes dropped to the desk and you shakily picked your pen back up.

you missed him. you finally came to terms with it. it was a foreign feeling that had you unsure how to act. such a new territory that you could only avoid his eyes, frozen.

even when you felt his presence right beside you, even when he turned your chair to face him, even when he tilted your chin up to meet his eyes. you were still.

his eyes traveled across your face, his face so full of adoration directed towards you that it had your brows knitting.

“you look so gorgeous. i missed you.” he whispers, a smile so pretty painting his lips— a smile that showed some of his teeth, and the curvatures of his dimples. you wished you could take a picture.

a quiet gasp left your lips and you finally looked up to meet his gaze. your expression looked nearly sad at his words and it had him caressing your cheeks with his thumb.

“you look the same as always,” you replied dumbly, perplexed at even your own response.

both you and jing yuan met each other’s eyes, wide and full of shock as you stared at each other. but it wasn’t long before jing yuan broke and he was laughing. you instantly became embarrassed, muttering a small ‘shut up’ under your breath.

he wiped away his imaginary tears, that dreamy smile still on his lips as he looked at you. his gaze was like burning hot molten melting into you, and you looked down at your fiddling fingers, unsure of how to act.

“i missed you too.” you voiced quietly.

you weren’t able to bask in his expression as he lit up. but how he leaned down to lock your lips let you know how he felt.

“i knew you would…” he whispers happily.

“can you shut up and kiss me?”

“your wish is my command.” he chuckles fondly, placing his hands on the arms of the chair on each side of you as he leans down.

you tug at his shirt and instantly initiate the kiss. something jing yuan couldn’t help but get excited at.

you’d never be able to fully word how you feel about him, so you hoped the little things were enough.

but maybe the way he moved you to sit in his lap and kiss you brainless as you moved against him could tell him everything.

“[name] missed you, general. she got super talkative, but not in the nice way, like in a bossy way! and she was like really annoying!” sushang yelled with her eyes squeezed shut, as if the mere idea of you stressed her out.

if it weren’t for your burning embarrassment, you probably would’ve smacked sushang upside her head. but instead you avoid jing yuan’s eyes, already imagining the smirk that adorned his lips.

fu xuan giggled and covered her mouth. you could only ruminate in your anger.

jing yuan taglist : @fxvcsd (my pookie) @ceylestia @cometheasteroid @voidsatoru @blazervain @meaningofaeons @reallyrene @kaito-exe-stopped-working @lechuko @h0ngh0ngh0ng

#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #hsr #assistant!reader #🃏; saturn.writes

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comicaurora · 5 months

Note

I've started making my way through the playlist hbomberguy made of actually good video essays by queer creators and spotted a comment of yours on the one about the relationship between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, which was fun xD red in the wild!

Anyways, just wanted to appreciate how both you and Blue and you are very good at showing your sources! It's always nice to know that the people you've watched for years have good habits after an event like this, and I hope you guys are among the people that get some new fans after this whole debacle, because your channel definitely qualifies for "good educational videos made by queer people"

I'm glad! Blue's much better about listing his sources and follow-up reading than I am.

To be honest, I loved the video, but my imposter syndrome always flares like crazy when I watch an essay like that. It might be the ADHD or it might just be who I am as a person, but I feel like I've lived my whole life striving to make everything I do the best it can be, and still managing to fuck up and get criticised for things I could've done better if only I never missed anything. It's an actual gut-drop when it turns out a source I used wasn't trustworthy, or when in older videos I only went wiki-deep for some claims and didn't check every source to be 100% sure I wasn't being goat-fish'd. And this being the internet, I can get criticized at any time for things I've gotten wrong years ago, since it's evergreen online and to the new-viewing critic it's as fresh as yesterday. It makes it hard for me to stay proud of my work past the first moment of "oh I would've done that different now". There's a cocktail of complicated, scary feelings around this space, no matter how little I actually have in common with the bad guys of this scenario - it's less about the reality and more about who my imposter syndrome tells me I am. I saw several people saying that the video actually made them feel much better about their own work because it made it clear that accidental plagiarism on that scale is impossible, but if my anxieties listened to reason I would've successfully machete'd them out of my skull years ago. I just hope I never fuck up badly enough to deserve an hbombing of my own.

But my own stress aside, the hbomb essay exposed a level of laxness, laziness and entitlement on the part of these plagiarists that I think is almost incomprehensible to people who actually create for a living or even just the joy of it. How hollow do you have to be to take in someone else's writing and not consider it, digest it, let it reshape your views and then formulate your own interpretation on it, but instead to file off the serial numbers and pretend it's yours, trusting that the person whose thoughts and words you valued enough to steal will never be powerful enough to call you out on it? I go down research rabbit holes because I love the frustration and thrill of putting something together! How joyless it must be to skim the surface and borrow someone else's conclusions!

I've sometimes had people email asking for sources on parts of my interpretation of various myths, possibly in the interest of source-citing for school papers (a nightmare concept in and of itself) and with very few exceptions I usually have to tell them "the only sources were the english translations I used of the primary source where the myth was originally written, like I said in the video, and the part where I said I was conspiracy-boarding has no source other than my own analysis of the given source, which is why I called it conspiracy-boarding" and I was always a little baffled by those emails - half the videos are introduced like "this is The Prose Edda" or "this is in Ovid's Metamorphoses" or "this bit is Hesiod" so what else could they want - but seeing the hbomb of the week made me realize that truly original analysis might not be what most people are expecting from a "thing summarized." They might be expecting a compilation of other people's summaries instead.

#asks #not aurora

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crystalflygeo · 6 months

Text

Last of her kind Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Omega!Dragoness!Reader-

cw/tags: This chapter has no smut but still contains highly suggestive themes and sexual implications. Mentions of slavery and past sexual abuse on fem!reader, A/B/O dynamics and heat mentions. fem!reader suffers with self-worth and bad memories, including past insults and abuse.

notes: After so long finally part 2!! EEEEEEEE I am so excited but also so nervous pls ;w; like if you want the first part can be read as a standalone and have a "happy ending" but now I am committed to the emotional roller coaster, A/B/O dynamics and LONG BURN PINING so yep >:3c hope this does justice to everyone's expectation tho. And hope you like it and accompany me on this tale hehe

As a lil sidenote brackets [] now indicate past actions/words and bad memories, regular italics for emphasis, inner thoughts or the little pinyin I sprinkled here (which btw is taken straight from genshin wiki so...).

<- Part 1.

Being precious all of the sudden was… different.

Your hand subconsciously kept touching your bonding mark, as if to make sure it was still there, to soothe you.

After a quick meal just between Zhongli and you, consisting of some soft rice buns and delicious minced meat packaged inside a crispy pastry shell, you were then offered some new clothes. It was much more elaborate and certainly more layered than anything you’d worn before: a long skirt and flowy sleeves in a silky soft fabric, beautifully embroidered and hastily modified to make a hole for your tail to slip out. A sash keeping everything in place while accentuating your figure. You immediately loved it although it felt a little heavy and restricting.

Now, you quietly follow Zhongli as he leads you around the palace. He’s back to his former fully-human appearance, wearing an elegant attire, and everywhere you go, people bow at him and cast curious silent glances at you. It was rather unnerving.

It’s fine, you are used to being stared at, judged. You hold your tail up close for comfort.

The place is huge and you quickly get lost trying to map it out in your head, simply following along until you reach a large room with a few simple beds scattered around. Bookcases and cabinets stacked the walls, filled with all sorts of books, papers, jars and things. A pungent smell present in the air.

A green-haired man leans over a desk, glasses perched on his nose as he frantically scribbles some notes. What seems like powders and plants litter the space around him, along with a few more glass containers, incense, and a tea set with a steaming fresh cup.

“Baizhu.” Zhongli’s voice calls and you stiffen a little, hearing it again after a while of silence. It is still warm and deep but with a more reserved and regal tone like when he first met you.

The green-haired man (a Beta, you recognize) looks up and blinks in surprise, then smiles brightly and says some words you do not understand, you shuffle in place.

“Yes, this is her.” Zhongli replies. “I will ask you to speak in in common tongue so she can understand as well, I don’t want to unnecessarily unnerve her.”

Well, that is… very considerate. It eases you a little.

“Of course, your majesty.” He turns to you, his eyes were a bright amber, also with slitted pupils. Was it common in liyuens? “My name is Baizhu, the royal doctor and apothecary, pleased to meet you, empress.”

Empress?!

“E-Empress?!” You can’t help but blurt out.

“Why of courssse.” A high-pitched voice hisses and you almost jump when a white snake peaks her head from her coils at the desk, staring up at you. “You’re mated to hisss majesssty the emperor, sssso, it would be underssstood you’re now the empresssss.” Her split tongue flickers.

Baizhu chuckles. “Changsheng, be nice.”

You don’t know what to answer, mostly because you’re still reeling from the fact that you’re apparently now an empress, and because there’s a talking snake.

Liyue is weird…

“I decided to bring her here exactly because of that.” Zhongli turns to you and suddenly holds one of your hands, softly, staring at you with such affection it makes you melt. “Darling, would you let him check your bonding mark for a moment?”

You’re a little nervous, but it is not like you can refuse… right? You nod quietly.

Baizhu approaches and examines your neck and you fight the urge not to flinch or growl. No Omega likes it when a stranger is so close to such a sensitive spot. He hums and tilts his head but doesn’t touch you. “It seems it’s already healed due to her illuminated beast blood but the scar is present. I’d say the bond has been properly established, congratulations your majesty.” He smiles warmly.

A grateful bubbly feeling creeps up your chest. Properly established. So, it’s true.

You feel Zhongli’s hand squeeze yours lightly and look down at it, then back up at him. “Thank you, Baizhu. I will not keep you any longer. We still have a lot to do and I’m sure you do as well.”

Baizhu bows at him (at both of you, you realize) and then you’re on your way. Not before hearing the snake’s hissy whispers again

“A fine yin, hm…?”

--------------------------------------------

This is… your new home.

Zhongli shows you around some of the areas in what he called the “inner court” of the palace complex. Everything is so… large and open and lavish it has your head spinning, your eyes darting in every direction trying to take in all at once, walking fast on your new clothes. He guides you along the dining hall, a small temple, crosses through an enormous main hall where he explains audiences are held, and then a gorgeous outer garden that completely takes your breath away.

The wooden gilded architecture in golds and reds, the fresh wind and gentle sun. All sorts of new sounds and smells. The painted walls and high ceilings. The new plants and flowers. The chatters in a different language… everything is so distinct from the desert.

You soak in the new environment. Inhaling deeply.

It is both terrifying and exhilarating.

Finally, he guides you to another room, it looks similar to the nest room where you’d first been at, but larger. It is sparsely decorated with a large and comfy looking-bed, a desk, mirror and a small table with a couple chairs and a tea set. It smells nice enough.

You peek up at Zhongli.

“This will be your room.” He explains.

…What?

“We kept it simple for now but you are, of course, free to furnish and decorate it however you’d like. It’s close to my own room and anything you might need.”

Wait what?

Your ears lower down and you seem to deflate a little, disappointed. “H-Huh? But… I-I won’t be sleeping with you?” You ask softly.

Mated pairs sleep together, don’t they? They share living chambers and mix their scents together to symbolize their union. That’s what you’ve always been told. You are to always be near your Alpha, at his beck and call, warm up his bed and be ready to please.

Maybe things are different in Liyue? Or maybe it’s because he’s an emperor. Master didn’t tell you anything, so maybe you are just making a fool of yourself right now on your-

Zhongli clears his throat and looks at you a little surprised “I simply thought you’d be more comfortable having your own space, we… don’t really know each other very well yet, and I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Impose? As in order? But he’s your Alpha! “B-But I want to! Please! I-I mean… I thought that since we’re b-bonded…” You mumble shyly.

His cheeks turn a little pink, you like when that happens, he looks a lot less serious. He cups your cheek and you inhale looking up at those gorgeous golden eyes. “My dear dragoness. I don’t want you to feel forced to do anything you don’t want to. I know you were raised… differently, I cannot claim to understand your experiences, but listen to me: you are safe here.” He says the last part slowly, enunciating each word. “No one will scold you or punish you, least of all me. I want you to be free to speak and choose what you want.” He sighs. “Though I know it’ll be difficult...”

Furnish, impose, free… you don’t know any of those words.

But no punishment, to choose what you want, to be safe… it sounds surreal even.

What do you want?

His eyes soften at your nervous silence. “Let’s try this… do you really want to share my room, or would you like to stay here? I won’t be upset if you do.”

“I…” Your tail curls around you. “I want to stay with you. Sleep together. Like mates.” You mumble.

“Then it would be my honor, however, this room will stay ready if you change your mind, alright?” You glance around at the room again, and nod. “Now that that is settled, I have one last thing to do. I need to introduce you to a few very special people before I leave to-”

“Leave?!”

You didn’t mean to yelp like that.

“J-just to do my duties, I am not leaving you, I promise.” He corrects, a little taken aback. “I am sorry my dear, but as much as I’d like to spend every moment by your side right now, I have a few pressing matters to tend to. I know you’re nervous, everything is new and scary and overwhelming but I promise I’ll leave you in good hands and be back as soon as I can.”

You nod, now feeling a little embarrassed at the whole ordeal. You’d been feeling so at ease with his presence, showing you around, listening to his voice name and explain everything you saw that you’d almost forgotten. “You’re the emperor, I’m sure you’re very busy. No need to worry about me, I’ll behave, my lord.”

He frowns a little at that but says nothing, and you choose to say nothing else either.

Going back to the main hall, you immediately spot three people lined up looking at you with a mix of the already expected curiosity and excitement. One of them in particular immediately catches your attention, he’s an Alpha and you can’t help but feel a little nervous…

“Allow me to introduce you, these three are my most loyal and closest council members: Ping, Ganyu and Xiao.” Zhongli gestures at them and all three bow lightly. “Like you and I they all have the blood of xiānshòu, and you can ask them for anything should you need help or have questions. I hope you learn to trust them and feel at ease.”

You nod quietly, still a bit fixated on the other Alpha.

“Xiao, or general Alatus, is one of Liyue’s strongest, most resilient and skilled warriors. He usually keeps guard at the palace to ensure my wellbeing and now yours as well, if you ever feel danger call out his name and he’ll come.”

Ah, did they notice you were staring…?

With a gesture of his hand Xiao manifests a gorgeous Jade spear, crystalline green shards reflecting light as he taps it by his side, standing firm, you flinch in surprise. “My spear shall now serve you too, empress.” His eyes too are golden and sharp, filled with a certain rigidness and determination you can’t quite put your finger on.

“Thank you, Xiao, dismissed.”

Xiao hums quietly and promptly disappears in a burst of black and green smoke, you stand there a little startled, your hand clings to the brown fabric of Zhongli’s sleeve.

“He might be an Alpha as well, but I promise you he’ll cause you no harm.” Your alpha murmurs softly towards you.

“O-okay…” You squeak, a bit embarrassed.

“Ganyu here is one of the most reliable people in the palace, perhaps the entirety of Liyue. Everything of importance reaches her ears and passes through her eyes. She’s able to organize meetings, events, report, compile information and assist every negotiation and decision of this palace with stunning efficiency. She too will help you with anything you need and might be in charge of a little logistics regarding you settling in for the next few days.” Zhongli smiles.

The young woman with long blue hair and… horns? chuckles and blushes a little. “Your majesty, you're too kind, I merely love doing my job.” She puts her hands together and beams at you, sunset eyes bright. “I’m so honored to meet you, rest assured I’ll take care of anything you need. I hope you feel comfortable and welcome at the palace!”

That sounded like a lot. You weren’t used to people coddling you like this. You didn’t want to give anyone trouble or work. “T-that’s alright, thank you.”

“Now, Ping is probably going to spend the most time with you, she’s very knowledgeable in culture, history and the inner workings of the palace amongst other things. She has graciously offered to teach you liyuen and anything else you’d be interested in.”

Unlike the other two Ping has a certain calm aura to her, contrasting Xiao’s seriousness and Ganyu’s excited energy. You can tell she’s a gentle old soul as she approaches you with a soft wrinkled smile and graying hair.

“Don’t worry young empress, while Lord Morax here is regrettably busy with a work-packed schedule,” She gives him a playful side stare “You and I will have some fun. I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.” She takes your hand and pats it comfortingly. It’s kind of an awkward gesture for you, but you still welcome the warmth and good intentions.

Zhongli chuckles quietly. “In that case, I’ll leave you in her care and see you at night for dinner, alright?” He seems to hesitate for a moment but then cups your face in his hands and places a soft kiss at your forehead. The unexpected gesture has you blushing scarlet and your heart speeding up like crazy. His thumb brushes at the scales under your eyes, so affectionate in the smallest ways… “I know it’s not ideal, but it’ll be fine, yes?”

You stare at his golden eyes, the red lines, his handsome face framed with dark hair, his serene smile.

You don’t like this. You don’t want him to leave. The idea makes you uncomfortable.

But it’s not like you can say no.

You nod.

“Thank you, Ping.” Both of them exchange a glance and then he turns to the blue-haired woman still in the room. “Ganyu, if you will.”

“Right away your majesty!” She scurries after him, talking quickly in foreign tongue while both walk away.

You stare after him for a moment longer.

“It’s a little difficult, isn’t it?”

You quickly turn back to Ping and then look down, ears folding back.

She laughs softly. “No need to be ashamed dear, it is understandable that you are unsure with all this, it’s a lot of changes for such a short time and you bond is still fresh, but let’s take it easy.”

Your hand brushes at Zhongli’s bonding mark again. “O-Okay…”

“Are you hungry? Tired? Perhaps you want to rest a little?”

You want to scurry away to your mate’s room and curl up there, that’s what you want, but…

“Um, aren’t you… going to train me?”

Ping blinks a little taken aback “Train? Oh! Teach?”

Same thing.

“Well, yes. I did offer, but only if you’re feeling up to it young empress. You can take your time, we don’t have to start right away. And like I said, take it easy, it's only your second day here.” She explains. “You won’t be absorbing any information if you are uncomfortable and jittery like this.”

“S-sorry-”

“No need to apologize at all. Now tell me, is there anything you’ve seen or heard today that you’re curious about, anything you want to do?”

What you want…

You think back a few hours earlier. The infirmary, the small temple, the grand hall, and…

“The garden.” You speak. “Can we go outside and see?”

Ping smiles brightly. “Of course! I’m sure there are a lot of things there that will catch your interest and cheer you up.”

Your tail sways a little after you as you follow the old lady along the corridors.

------------------------

The garden is breathtaking.

More than a garden it feels like a whole different world. Bright and exciting and colorful, full of life. It reminds you of an Oasis, but just… more!

A grand pond with multicolored fishes and a couple of turtles sunbathing. Walk paths made of stone, plants everywhere you see: in trees with vibrant yellows, oranges and all shades of greens, in flowers with soft colors and small petals, in thick bushes. The light filters through the leaves and there’s the soft tweets of small birds.

“It’s… so pretty!” You exclaim happily.

“I’m glad you think so. Gardens like this are carefully cared for and preserved to impress, but they also represent beauty, abundance a sense of harmony.” Ping explains as she is now the one following after you, skipping along the path. “These trees you see are sandbearers, and that one is a ginkgo tree, you can tell the difference by the shapes of their leaves.” She points at each one and you follow with your gaze, picking a small leaf from the floor, golden and fan-shaped.

“Ooh…”

“See those smaller fishes? They’re goldfishes. The bigger ones are kois.” She gestures at the animals freely swimming around. Some of them are huge!

“What do they eat?” You blurt out.

“Well, usually algae and wheat. We can get some another day and you can feed them.”

“Really?!”

“Of course.”

“Oh! Is that a koi too? It’s so… long and pretty.”

“Ah, that one is a golden koi. Lord Morax has a few of them here. They are also called Jīnchì Jiǎlóng or ‘false dragons’ you know? For the small horns and long bodies. They do resemble your tail a little, don’t they?”

You move your tail forward and stare at it, then stare at the serpentine fish.

“Yes, sort of… Jin chi… jia long.” You mumble.

“Here, I think you’ll like these ones. Come with me.” You eagerly follow after Ping as she rounds the pond and guides you towards a few red bushes. They’re dotted with pink round flowers. “These are silk flowers, Nícháng-huā, usually harvested to make clothes, but there are many special ornamental variants and between us both, your dear mate has a weak spot for these so he has quite the collection.” She chuckles.

“Orna…metal?”

“Ornamental, it means mostly for decoration.”

“Oh!” Suddenly you feel dumb, you’d thought for a second that was a liyuen word too. “I’m sorry… I don’t even know common tongue very well.” How could you even expect to learn liyuen?

“No worries, dear, learning a new language is a daunting task, it takes a bit of work every day. If you keep learning, using and practicing words, you’ll get there.”

You smiled softly. Ping was so… patient and supportive.

So much different from…

[You have to try harder.]

[Tch that is not good enough.]

[Are you stupid?!]

[Useless omega.]

You looked at the budding silk flowers and blinked. Once. Twice. Why was your vision blurry now? What was this feeling?

“Oh, oh young empress please don’t cry. It’s alright” Ping’s alarmed remark helps you understand. She fusses over you. “Are you ok?”

You wipe at your tears and smile, a genuine bright smile.

“I’m fine.”

And this time, you truly mean it.

----------------------------------------

After a rather fancy bath (the kind of like you used to take before being presented to Alphas, with bubbles and scented oils...) and a good dinner Zhongli and you headed over for his chambers for the night. You couldn’t help but be a little… nervous.

This is stupid. He’s your Alpha.

He’s been nothing but kind to you.

What if he wants to… d-do things?

Then you’ll do it. He’s your mate. It’s your obligation.

You were the one who chose this anyway.

Your heartbeat was loud in your ears, anxiety creeping up your chest. Were your fingers trembling? Was the room suddenly cold?

As expected, the bedroom was quite matching his style. Golds, browns and a bit of red and black here and there. Dragon imagery adorning some of the walls, a tea cabinet with a small table and shelves filled with all sorts of trinkets from precious stones and books to a beautiful fan and a tea set.

And then there was the bed.

A large canopy bed, enough to probably have your body and tail fully stretched across and still fit in the mattress, beautifully decorated and filled with fabrics and pillows.

The scent of Zhongli’s Alpha pheromones was definitely strong.

He yawns and runs a hand along his forehead, combing along his hair before pulling out the clip on it, letting his long dark locks spill free. He takes off his robe revealing his naked torso and you jolt.

It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine.

You undress as well into your light sleeping clothes and gingerly slip into his bed, curling up around his pillows, surrounded by his scent.

His.

You are his.

It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine-

“Darling, is everything alright? Are you uncomfortable?” He asks concerned, climbing on the bed as well and reaching out to touch your arm. You squeak. “You’re… terrified, what’s wrong?” Then Zhongli’s eyes widen a little. “Oh. The scent… I completely overlooked that, my apologies. Is it too strong? Are you ok? Should have given you some things earlier for you to scent and include them here. This is no good…” He rambles a bit to himself as he sits up and crosses his arms thoughtfully.

You stare at him, anxiety still surging through your veins but now mixed in with confusion.

“Would you like to sleep in the other room we prepared for you instead?” He sighs.

“I… t-this is… you… would just let me leave?”

Zhongli tilts his head slightly, now he looks confused.

“I promised you that the room would be available-”

“So, you don’t want to mate?”

Silence.

He stares at you for a moment as you grip at the bedsheets, still tense.

His eyes widen as realization settles in.

Ah. The pink dusting in his cheeks is back.

“Y-You thought that… no! My dear, no, no, no…” He coughs into his fist awkwardly. “I apologize if I gave you the wrong idea. A-As I said before I want you to be comfortable and feel safe. No Alpha will force you to do anything you don’t want. Not even me. And you don’t have to feel forced to do things you don’t want to, either.”

You look down. Although you feel slightly more relieved.

“I want to stay here. A-and if you want to, I’ll service you, my lord. I was just… nervous, sorry.”

“I assure you there is no need for any of that.” He says softly. “Here.”

He pulls the covers and slips them over you both, lying down facing you but still keeping a little distance. You do the same, curled up face to face with him.

He’s so effortlessly handsome.

And kind.

And you like him.

But he’s still an Alpha.

“Is this alright? We’re just going to sleep, I promise.” He brushes some hair away from your face.

You nod.

“Is there… anything you want to talk about or ask me?”

You... don’t know.

You shake your head.

“Hmmm. Want to share about your day? What were you up to with Ping?” He gives you a playful smile. Suddenly he feels less like an imposing strict emperor, or like a scary Alpha. He’s just your Zhongli.

“She… showed me the garden. I wanted to see.”

“Ah, the royal garden has many fascinating sights and it’s a beautiful landscape to retreat to and ease one’s mind. I had the feeling you’d be interested.”

“There were so many beautiful things. She taught me about the silk flowers, nícháng-huā. And all the trees and fishes and birds.”

“Oh? Are these your first words in liyuen, my dear?”

You giggle. “I… suppose they are. She also showed me your turtles Jiàn and Fù and told me what their names mean, they are so cute. Oh! And we saw the liúlí bah… bai… bǎihé! I sang to them and they bloomed! It was... amazing.”

“I see. Not everyone can achieve that, I’ll admit I’m quite hopeless at singing.” He chuckles “What more did you learn?”

Feeling much more content and at ease you continue retelling all the new things you had experienced and the vocabulary you had learned including how to introduce yourself and some greetings and basic words. Talking for what felt like hours until weariness and sleep claimed you both.

Zhongli simply listened and stared at you, captivated. He seemed content as well.

It made you happy.

------------------------------------------

For the next couple of months, you established a sort of routine.

You’d wake up early alongside Zhongli, even though you didn’t need to, you simply enjoyed having some morning tea and breakfast with him. Afterwards he’d go tend to some of his official duties and you’d stay with Ping Lǎolao, learning more and more each day. By now you could even follow some basic conversation (provided the other person didn’t speak too fast) although reading and writing was still extremely difficult.

You’d expressed interest in some gardening and even headed to the kitchens to prepare some food by yourself. The maids claimed there was no need for the empress to do such ‘menial tasks’ but as an Omega you pride yourself in certain things, and cooking for your Alpha was something you’d yearned to do.

You were overjoyed when Zhongli praised your Jade parcels.

You’d always have lunch with him and some days he’d accompany you for a stroll or you’d stay at his study for some leisure time, or even at some meetings. It had been a little unnerving at first but you also knew it was important to know others and be known in the council, as well as understand Liyue outside of the palace walls. After all, you are an empress now.

At night, you slept close to him. The initial awkwardness of sleeping at opposite sides of the bed soon traded for a much cuddlier approach, often with you curled up to Zhongli’s chest or him spooning you, tails often intertwined together. The bed and the entire room now have a mix of your combined scents, like true mates.

And so, life was good…

------------------------------------------

You’re slowly pulled out of your sleep as Zhongli stirs in the bed. You grumble a little and yawn, already missing his warmth. It was so pleasant…

“Good morning, my dear dragoness.”

“Morning…” You mumble, not opening your eyes and instead blindly reaching for his pillow to hug and cling to. “Can we stay for longer?” You whine.

“You definitely can, but I have to go.” He kisses your forehead “Rest, my dear.”

You pout but say nothing. Squeezing at the pillow and burying your face in it.

It smells so good…

------------------------------------------

“Hmm… is it warmer today?” You wonder aloud as the maids help you up with the layers of your hanfu. The clothes still hot and heavy in contrast to what you used to wear at the desert, but today seemingly more so… the sash feels more constricting than usual. “I-I think I’d like to wear something a little lighter… if possible.”

“Of course, your majesty, no problem.”

You smile at them, grateful.

--------------------------------------------

Sitting at Zhongli’s study room you practice some basic liyuen calligraphy while he seemingly goes over some important documents. The silence is comfortable and a warm cup of Qixing tea steams at both desks. Yet, something keeps bothering you.

You huff lightly, scratching and picking at the scales of your tail, irritated with the uncomfortable feeling. Why is it so itchy? A couple of them fall off, revealing new glossy ones underneath.

“Ah…” So that means…

You stop for a moment. The feverish feeling, scents being stronger on your nose, the urge to nest and cling to your mate.

Hmm… part of you is a little excited. And yet, there is fear.

------------------------------------------

“You have quite the appetite today, dear. Eat slowly, the food won’t go anywhere.” Ping chuckles as you practically pick a little of every dish while still trying to keep some modicum of elegance. Chopsticks weren’t that easy after all.

“Yes… I think… I think it’s my pre-heat hormones.” You sigh before munching on a shrimp ball.

Your heat…

Your first heat with Zhongli. With any Alpha to be honest. You’d always had to endure them on your own (Master couldn’t have you get pregnant) and they were excruciating and debilitating, crying out for days with your skin burning and itching, trying to sate yourself with your fingers and humping pillows. But now… you’re happily bonded.

Would it… feel good again?

Like, that first time you two mated…

You feel your cheeks heat up.

“Excuse me?”

“Hm?”

You’re brought back to reality to see Ping staring at you seemingly a little alarmed.

“Pre-heat? Young empress, are you going into heat soon?”

“Y-yeah? Probably um, tonight…? Or tomorrow.” The onsets are always so quick, and your cycle has always been more or less stable.

The elder places her chopsticks down. “Have you told Lord Morax?”

“Um. N-No, not yet. But… m-maybe he already caught on...” You tilt your head.

…Right?

Then again even you took a couple of days to identify the signs, and now for sure you were at the brink of it. Maybe he’ll mate you tonight…

Hm… how will Zhongli react to your heat scent?

You have to do your best!

[Be a good omega.]

Ping stands up, her expression still gentle but with a sort of urgency to it, your instincts catch the feeling she’s worried about something.

“I have to inform about this, please stay here dear.”

Now you’re nervous. You nod slowly.

Why does it feel like you did something wrong…?

------------------------------------------

After that, things get… chaotic.

It’s only a while later that you find yourself at the infirmary. Ganyu and Zhongli are also there and everyone’s anxious pheromones in the air do not sit well with you (subtle as they are, your nose is hyperaware right now).

“I’m sorry the symptoms are already settled in. At this point it is simply not feasible to give her suppressants, she has to go through this heat.” Baizhu says, looking troubled.

Feasible? Suppressants? More unknown words but…

Is there something wrong with your heat?

Ganyu scurries off and Ping starts talking with Baizhu on the other side of the room. You cling to Zhongli’s robe, trying to soothe yourself with his presence but his scent is… agitated.

You whine to call out to him. You’re scared.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Zhongli pulls you close, cupping your face again, staring straight at you. “No… no my dear dragoness, of course you didn’t, it’s just…” He steels himself searching for the right words, it doesn’t ease you in the slightest. “We didn’t expect your heat so soon. I should have known, noticed… I’m sorry.”

Why is your alpha apologizing to you? That is ridiculous.

“Is it a bad thing?”

“It’s… not the right time.”

You’re so confused.

Don’t Alphas like it when Omegas are in heat? Soft, pliant, warm, needy and ready to breed.

“I just don’t want you to feel obligated to do this…” He says. “And… you could trigger my rut, you could end up pregnant. I don’t want to… scare you, or hurt you. It’s much too soon for us to share your heat. I thought we’d have more time for you to get acclimated to Liyue or…” He shakes his head. “Nevermind. For the next few days you’ll be in a separate room, yes? No one will disturb you during your heat, I promise.”

“B-But then… I… what…?”

Alone?

“Usually omegas take suppressants, like a type of medicine, to stave off their heats so they don’t have to face these risks or suffer them alone, and then when they’re ready, when they want, they choose to share heats with their partners.” He explains.

“But I want to! I… I’ll be good!”

Zhongli sighs. “Darling you are good, you are precious to me. You don’t need to prove anything or do things because they are ‘expected’ of you.”

He’s not listening!

He asks you what you want. He says you can choose. But now that you tell him, ask him, beg him even… he denies you?

How come you’re always making the wrong choice?

Was it all a lie then?

“But I- T-then- Why-… YOU’RE CONFUSING ME!!” You yell, tears stinging in your eyes.

There are a few gasps and you see not only Baizhu and Ping, but Ganyu and some of the maids staring at you in shock. You cover your mouth, eyes wide at the sudden burst of fierceness and emotion.

You yelled at him.

You talked back.

You should be punished.

He stares at you, frozen like a statue for a few moments. You stare at him, pitiful, your eyes begging. A whimper leaves you and Zhongli lets out a shuddering breath.

Oh, your Alpha wants you, you know it.

"Please..." You mumble, voice so small.

"I'm sorry my dear, it's better this way." His hand moves towards you, to cup your face again or brush at your hair you're not sure, but he stops himself before you can find out. He sighs, averting his gaze and looking conflicted, and then turns around.

This is your punishment.

"It'll be just a few days, you'll be well-cared for. This is for the best." He says sternly, voice pinched.

And then he leaves.

Your heart shatters.

Everything is a blur after that. You’re gently guided along towards an empty nest room, the same one you'd first met him at, there are some things with both your scents on it but they feel sterile, washed anew.

Your hands start trembling. Your eyes start to water. Your lips quiver. Your throat feels tight, choked and dry. Your body feels feverish, hot and restless.

Zhongli rejected you.

“Your majesty please calm down."

[Useless.]

[Moron.]

[Whore.]

You could no longer breathe, hear nor see. You feel like you're drowning, unable to process what just happened. Your mate…your precious mate…he…he…

He abandoned you.

“Your majesty…?"

You scream.

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luvyeni · 6 months

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MY SHY NEIGHBOR ( chapter. 14 )

— CHAPTER FOURTEEN: my favorite cashier 🥰🤍…

— 𖦹 warnings? none

previous chapter - next chapter - my shy neighbor masterlist

You opened the door to the café, immediately coming into jeongins view. “Hey.” He waved; you waved back. “Well, isn’t it my favorite cashier.” He nervously rubbed the back of his neck, smiling to himself. “D-do you want the same.”

“You know it.” You said, “And what drink would you recommend.” He thought about it, before pointing. “I order that every day.” You nodded, “then i’ll have that too.” You smiled. “Are you eating here today too?” he asked. “Yeah I have a while until my next class.”

You found your favorite seat, pulling out your phone to wait for your food. You checked your messages, frowning — it had been a week since your mystery man texted you, he was supposed to be only a client, but you actually looked forward to his text.

Why was he ignoring you? Had you crossed the line by saying you wanted to see him? No way, guys would beg to see you — they’d pay money to spend the night with you, even if you knew you’d never do it. Maybe that’s what made him different. Maybe he only wanted to keep it strictly over the phone. By why? “(yn)?”

“I’m about to go on my lunch break.” Jeongin told his co-worker. “Good, you can take this to your girlfriend.” He handed him a tray. “My girlfriend?” he said, “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“So that girl isn’t your girlfriend?” He pointed to where you sat. “n-no, she’s not.” He stuttered; you were the only girl he could mutter a single word to unless it was a coworker. “But i’ve seen you talking to her, which is rare for you, you know she also asks for you when you aren’t here?”

You ask about him? Why? “We’re just friends.” He said. “Well, she’s cute, you should set me up.” He took the tray from the boy. “Stop saying nonsense, i’ll be back soon.” He walked over to you; you hadn’t acknowledged him yet.

“yn?” you finally look up at him, he sat your tray down. “Thank you.” You said, “Are you on your break now?” He nodded. “Good now you can sit with me.” You pointed to the seat in front of you. “m-me?” you chuckled. “Well there’s no one else i’d be talking to silly.”

He hesitantly sat down, you past him the drink. “Here, drink this.” You smiled, “I get these for free, you didn’t have to.” You flagged him off. “I know, that’s why I also got you this.” You handed him half of the dessert. “Eat up.”

You watched him pick up the fork, taking a bite of the dessert. “Good, now stop being so scared, we’ve been talking for a few weeks you shouldn’t be this scared of me anymore.” You said, his ears turned. “I-i’m sorry.” He said, you reached out grabbing his hand. “Don’t stress it too much.”

He hated that he was like it this, being so shy has never worked out in his favor, we’ll expect those few times, drunk girls don’t really care if you’re shy or not, they just want to jump on the closest cute guy they see — that’s a story for a different time.

“I talk to much anyway, so I can do the talking for me and you.” You smiled, he mirrored yours. “Does that sound good?” He chuckled, looking down realizing you haven’t taken your hands off his — his heart thumping for a second, he followed your hand. “You have a tattoo?”

Where has he seen that tattoo? Before he could get another look, you took your hand away. “it’s embarrassing, me and lily got matching tattoos and they completely fucked it up.” You laughed, covering it up, that’s where he probably seen it, but he could’ve sworn he’d seen it somewhere else. “Ah, you two must be close?” You nodded. “We’re both from australia, she was the first person I actually met besides chan.” You spoke.

Sadly, it was time for him to get up, but he didn’t want to, he enjoyed talking to you. “You have to go back to work now?” He frowned, nodding. “Sadly.” He stood up, you grabbed his hand. “Hold on.” You reached into your bag, grabbing a pen and a piece of paper. “I know we live next door to each other, but if you ever want to hang out when you’re not at work, you can call me.”

He watched you writing your number down. “Here.” You put the paper in his hand. “Make sure to actually use it, I really want to hang out with you.” You said, he nodded, praying you didn’t notice his red ear, or at least ignored it. “o-okay, i will.”

“Good.” You let his arm go with a smile, and he turned to walk away, smiling to himself. “Oh, it’s you.” He ran into your friend. “Mat!” He heard you yell. “It’s nice to see you, you should come out with us again, you cook really good meat.” Jeongin nodded, walking back to his register.

He watched you conversation with your friend, looking over at him, smiling waving. He waved back, smiling. “Jeongin pay attention, you have a customer.”

He shook his head; you were all he was focusing on, he forgot he was at work. “i’m so sorry, welcome to Love café how can I help you.”

And this time he actually said it with a smile.

— ( taglist. CLOSED ) @soulsbbg @k-poplv @yourmomscuntis2tighy @bbokarimenu @enczen @queen-in-the-shadows @thesweetesttattoo @ririlinoriri @aloverga @ashiitex @ddazed-lhs @heartsforhyunjin @chlodavids @simp4myself @surefornext @lostwonderwall @xxr-s4sha @charmer-c @vixensss @frobin4ever @bmnyy @semi-semiisbae @m111nho @i2innie @aalexyuuuhm @iraa567 @cheshireshiya @ihrtlix @abbiestearsricochet @niaalove @skzswife @babrieeee @thisisnotjacinta @luvskai @ikeusol @costalmaine @whos-kkira @minhosprettywife @hey-hey-heybitch @jeongins-version @denisaandreea20 @lovesunshinefelix @222brainrot @thatgirlkay @ss3oung @number1jeonginstan @whitney190 @jongseongsluvr @chesemonky @worcesheshestershiresauce @puppy-minnie @prettygirlsstanskz @hanniemylovelyquokka

©LUVYENI

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sserajeans · 5 months

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just for a moment

hanni pham x fem! reader

synopsis: you and your co-star are tasked to make a song for your web drama's soundtrack. your co-star happens to be a childhood friend whom you've had history with.

genre + others: lsrfm! reader, idol au, childhood friends to lovers, friends to lovers, fluff, second chance ish?

notes: not requested, PLS READ THE LYRICS IT'LL MATTER!!!!, how i look delaying yail update 😂😂, also yes another hsmtmts inspired oneshot, pics from @/wiotas

"what do we even fucking write about?"

"y/n..."

"sorry..."

how did you get here? glad you asked!

it's the year 2025, and a team of producers at hybe are on the works for a minor project: a web drama promoting support for the lgbtq+.

you've talked about how odd it was to your best friend, and groupmate, yunjin.

"probably good for publicity, girl. like 'make everyone know we're not homophobic!' kinda thing." was all she had to say about it, which was likely true anyways.

you were convinced the casting was done at random honestly, but it was obvious they wanted a mix of groups to garner more attention. and that landed you the lead role with, you guessed it, ms. hanni pham!

why you two when you each had members who fit the actress role better? well, that's where you thought the random part came to play.

filming wasn't much of an issue. you were comfortable with hanni, and you two worked well on and off screen, just as expected considering your history. the director even pointed out your "remarkable chemistry", but she didn't have to know why it was that way.

as a matter of fact, you guys were about to wrap up in a few days. it was a wild past couple of weeks, but it was nice to get to spend more time with hanni again.

i mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like you two cut each other off when you moved to korea, but the talking definitely decreased, and the filming made up for lost time!

now, on one of the last days of filming, your respective managers sat you two in a conference room together, and dropped the news that you'd have to compose a new song just for the web drama's soundtrack.

the task in itself didn't bother you at all, and you were sure it didn't bother hanni too. you two were experienced in songwriting and composing, your names on a couple of song credits to count, so this was actually much easier than acting.

the issue was that you had enough going on for certain... feelings to resurface.

you see, the plot of the web drama hit a little too close to home for you. i mean seriously, childhood friends with feelings for each other, but couldn't take things further due to complications, then having to work together acting in some play.

it sounded a lot like your story.

hell, they even had your character do swimming! the same sport you excelled in back in australia.

the only reason nothing has gotten too awkward on that note yet, was because of your other labelmates being there like boynextdoor's leehan, minji and danielle, even your fellow members kazuha and yunjin.

with them around, you got to reconnect with hanni, but with a couple safe boundaries! now that you two were tasked to work on something alone though? you were scared things were going to be different.

so that's what brought you two here, together, in the music room. hanni seated facing the table with a pen and paper, you on the floor with your guitar in hand.

you were strumming to any chord shape that could come to mind in hopes of finding a melody that you could build off of, and hanni was tapping the end of her pencil on her forehead for any word, lyric, or rhyme that could work.

nothing came.

so engrossed in your respective tasks, the two of you didn't notice a shadow behind the translucent door, so when a knock came, you levitated off the floor for a millisecond, and hanni let out a soft yelp.

"hey you two~"

huh yunjin.

"how are my besties doing!" she came in doing a little dance, first walking over to check on what hanni was writing before landing on the floor beside you.

"we're stuck." you muttered, head against the wall behind you.

"oh... i see." yunjin shrugged her eyebrows in confusion, because she had just came from peeking over at hanni's notebook and was 100% sure she had lines written down.

"well, let's see... you got the genre down that suits the two of you so there's that. romance obviously sells, so there's that too. maybe you guys should try... writing while in character?" yunjin did her best to help the two of you, as the mutual best friend and seasoned singer-songwriter. "or if there's an experience you guys have had before, that would definitely help. real raw emotion ya know?"

"anyways," the eldest huffed and got up from the floor, messing up your hair and hanni's before heading for the door to leave the room. "i gotta get going. you two don't come home too late okay?"

you and hanni nodded before resuming. after a couple minutes, you realized that maybe you two will have to be communicating more if it meant writing a song together.

"hey han, do you have anything written?" hanni froze for a second before turning around on her chair.

truth was she did. she wrote them down specifically as yunjin started telling you two to write based on experiences.

"i... uh... kind of? just a couple lines, i don't know how i feel about them though."

"can i take a look? might help a bit."

"oh yeah... sure..."

there was a hint of hesitance in her voice, but it'd look awfully suspicious if she scratched out lines right before you'd check.

"ah..." the initial reaction was surprise for you, and a million thoughts came racing through your head.

"yeah! it's nothing much... but i figured it was better than nothing...."

"no yeah! for sure! i'm kinda getting the vibe, wait here." you turned around and picked up your guitar from the floor and took a seat beside hanni. "uhm... okay let's try... this?"

you freestyled a riff on your guitar, allowing your fingers to move on its own to play what felt right. it resulted in one of the most simple yet enchanting melodies that seemed perfect for your song's intro.

"hey that sounds perfect! i love it!" hanni cheered and gave you a thumbs up. "okay so... since you're doing your little guitar intro, perhaps we have the first line written in your character's point of view?"

"sure... okay... uhm..." it took you a couple seconds to think of something, or to get in character on the spot. but then you remembered yunjin's advice.

an experience you guys have had before.

"uh... how's this..." you fiddled with your hands as hanni nodded along, telling you to go on with your suggestion. after about half a minute, you had a two-liner with some sort of melody that matched your guitar intro. "i fell in love with the only girl who knows what i'm about."

hanni froze for a second, which didn't go unnoticed by you, but continued nodding along as she wrote down the lines. "i like your voice in this genre."

"oh..." you looked up from your guitar and faced her side profile as she was still facing her notebook. you felt your face warm a little, but not too much for it to gain color. "that's a lot coming from you. i have your lee mujin service episode on loop."

hanni smiled, a sight you'd never get tired of seeing. "a fan, huh? which part's your favorite?" she turned to look at you, a smirk on her face to mask the flustered and proud version of herself having received praise for her work from you of all people.

she continued writing a line underneath yours, a sudden burst of inspiration coming over her.

"probably lucky."

of course it's the song about being in love with your best friend.

she chuckled at your answer. hanni wasn't dense, and she knew you weren't either.

okay maybe you were, just slightly, but you pick up on context clues.

but point is, she knew what that implied, and what everything that came between the two of you the past few weeks could've felt like for you.

but just as she was getting somewhere, her train of thought was interrupted by your "burst of epiphany", as one would call it.

"oh hey, hear this out. i think it sounds like chorus material." you tapped her shoulder and positioned your hands across the frets of your guitar. you sounded a lot happier, more energy than you did earlier in the day as you finally got a feel of what to write and play.

when we're underneath the lights, my heart's no longer broken, for a moment, just for a moment

in that moment, hanni's mind rushed with too many emotions. objectively, the melody was beautiful. your voice made it better, the guitar felt like it had a voice of its own, and the lyrics. god, the lyrics.

she knew for sure you felt what she felt.

the two of you stayed in that music room a couple more hours, discovering a new type of comfort in a person the other has always known. like reading a book you've had forever, and feeling a newfound joy in a character that has always been there.

by the end of the day, you and hanni seemed to have switched roles, your guitar in her hands, and her notebook in yours.

you were finishing up a final copy of the first half of the song along with chords in case you'd forget the sound. there was also a copy of the both of you singing on your respective voice note apps. (which, unbeknownst to you, would be on repeat for hanni later that night.)

"here we go." you sighed, it took a lot of effort trying to make handwriting like yours legible. you've always hated it. teachers back in elementary all throughout high school would always mark your papers low despite almost flawless answers, just for your handwriting.

"i've always liked your handwriting..." hanni muttered as she admired your written work, unknowingly smiling to herself.

"oh.. thanks. i've always hated it."

"i know." hanni looked up at you, observing the sheepish smile on your face. she knew all about why you hated it, and she understood, but to her, it was an art. a part of you. she thought, "that's why i like it."

there was partial truth into that. besides it being a funny add-on to hanni's compliment, it's always been her thing to love stuff about you that you hated, even if it was something as small as handwriting.

back when you two were together (or whatever that was you had back in australia before you left, neither of you stuck a label on it), she'd always talk long speeches about how your handwriting was an art. something so significantly you that you shouldn't change, and that even if you hated it, she'd love it twice as much in place of you.

as you two shared a couple more laughs, a notification popped up on both of your phones. yours first, then hanni's a second later.

a snort accidentally escaped your system as you read the texts. "sorry.. is it yunjin?"

hanni let out the loudest laugh before nodding and exchanging phones with you to read what the older sent to the other. it was the same message in different forms, panicking to get you home before chaewon freaked out and took it out on yunjin, then proceeding to fear minji and her "wrath".

despite laughing at your member's worry, the two of you stood up to pack up, which really didn't take much anyways. you slid your guitar in its case, hanni hid her notebook in her bag.

walking out of the room to the lobby together side by side was probably the most stomach-churning activity of the day. and you literally had to write a love song about each other with each other. but there was something in the way it felt when your hands touched.

as you reached the part of the building where you finally had to part ways, the two of you faced each other. both expecting something, but not quite sure with what they were expecting.

"i.. uh... it was nice to reconnect today." she started off, awfully awkward at it too.

"yeah... it was..." you smiled, hand reaching for the back of your neck to scratch. a nervous habit. "i'll let you know if i think of anything tonight."

"yeah, same here." hanni nodded back, though a pinch of disappointment evident on her face. maybe she was expecting more, or maybe it was too soon. "see you tomorrow?"

"yeah... see ya." you slowly turned around, head racing.

should you say something? should you save it for another time? would it make things awkward tomorrow?

screw it. live in the present, right?

"han... for the record, my heart does still stop when i see you."

#hanni pham x reader #hanni x reader #hanni imagines #hanni pham imagines #newjeans x reader #newjeans imagines #girlgroup imagines #hanni fanfic #Spotify

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