#why can't people just mind their own business?

[painted-bees]

Sometimes you just need to be held and gently rocked like a child by someone who means something to you.

I mentioned before how Raf doesn't really get anxious before a show, and genuinely enjoys performing on stage--but that the most difficult part of a performance for him are the hours right after a show has finished, starting from the moment he walks off the stage.

Almost every single time, no matter how fun or well executed a performance was, there's a kind of quiet terror that follows him off the stage like a dark shadow and infects him once he's left the safety of the stage lights.

He becomes uncharacteristically furtive, and while he will answer when spoken to, his responses are simple, short, with a kind of sharpness in tone that suggests a level of defensiveness. Like a child awaiting a harsh scolding. Because that's kinda...what he is, in that moment. He is waiting to be kept awake into the early hours of the morning by a lecture about what he did, what he didn't do, what he should have done differently, what needs to be improved upon before the next time. Or he's waiting to be told that he's gonna be on his own for a few days, because the people who are supposed to love and take care of him are "too disappointed to fairly manage him" right now. Or he's waiting to be dragged into a busy room populated by strangers he's supposed to impress while he's casually, conversationally picked apart in front of them by the person who brought him there in the first place; the person who wanted to show him off.

It's a frustrating reaction to have...He's not a child, he's a grown ass man--and he owes venue staff, and his bandmates, and everyone else backstage a modicum of respect and kindness, and to thank them for their work, and to revel in the completion of a good show. But he's not really...he can't do that. He comes off as quietly despondent at best, or kind of a stuck up asshole at worst. When he did shows with Lacey, she called it his "post-performance tantrums" and exercised very little patience for his 'immature sulkiness' following concerts. And the low mood would persist for a solid week then after.

Once he started doing shows and stuff with Margie, she'd initially wonder if his poor mood was because she had done something wrong, or didn't meet expectations, if it was a bad show.... It wouldn't be until the following day before Raf could find himself in a state of mind where he's able to explain what he's feeling, much less why. And...for whatever reason, he's reticent to offer the most simple explanation to her--because saying "it's a ptsd thing, just give me space and patience and don't take it personally because it's nothing to do with you" comes with the risk of being asked other questions about himself and his upbringing that he's not comfortable getting into and--it's a whole thing, in his mind. So the first few shows together are consistently...a bewilderingly negative experience for Margie, in that it's a very tense, quiet, insecure and shame-ridden 24-48 hours after the show--followed by delayed revelry days after the performance with Raf finally able to reflect positively upon the experience and assuring Margie that it actually was a great performance, and that he had a lot of fun--and they're able to recall their favorite moments together, etc.

Unlike Lace, though, Margie never digs into him about his behavior. She just mirrors his silence, and then--very uncomfortably--gives him space because she doesn't really know what else she can do, and--assuming she's the problem--she doesn't want to risk messing things up even more, since she doesn't know what she did wrong in the first place. And, you know, there's only so many times Raf can reassure her, too late, that she was great, actually. And so he finally does relent to telling her that this is just...how he is after a show, that it's no one's fault, he's not mad at her or anyone--it's just ptsd. That's all he tells her, and, as per always with Margie--she doesn't try to pry out more information from him about it.

Margie goes down her own little rabbit hole of research instead, and comes to Raf with the idea for a new post-performance routine (communicated with staff and such before hand to ensure accommodation) wherein they don't try to gladhand, or pack up, or do literally anything for the first half hour after they walk off stage. Instead, they find a quiet, dimly lit corner somewhere away from everything and just sit, and rest, no expectations, no obligations, nothing. Raf agrees to put this idea into practice, and it quickly evolves into, well idk... Being held and gently rocked like a child by someone who means something to him.

#hi-note #Magritte #Rafael #say what you want about Margie's parents #but at least they gave her hugs and told her they were proud of her from time to time... #and they'd STILL do that for her today if she ever let herself come to them in need of it. #Raf on the other hand...there's a lot of lost time to make up for. #At least now he's getting what he needed but didn't get back then.

[del3tingalltracez]

one good thing about being raised to be transgenderphobic is that now i don't really see gender as being put on a pedestal as "more valid" compared to other transids.

if im really being honest the only reason i started supporting transids was when i found out they applied to me, and its nice being free of that baggage of "gender good everything else bad" because i came from a truly blank slate of "everything bad, wait a second im plural and also otherkin and turns out im also transabled and a bunch of other things" so its very eye opening to see people being hypocrites about it

for example i hear "nooo this person is pretending to be black!!!" and i look at someone who is transfem and who has been told they are "pretending to be a woman" and I'm like, what do you mean, stop being a hypocrite and mind your own business. "they are just copying stereotypes" and I've heard the exact thing as a criticism of you but you somehow claim to be against "terfs".

likewise, if someone says that i can't be racefluid but then they themselves are genderfluid then they are not being ideologically consistent and it's very strange to watch. or they call themselves the f slur or d slur but then they don't like it when i call myself the n word even though it's literally the exact same thing.

"all identities are valid but some of them are more valid than others because, they just are, okay?"

long piece of text so we may misunderstand we have a zeptosecond attention span

real!! "erm.. all identities are valid!! except some are less valid. why? cuz i said so! trust me i random strnager on the internet am so right"

#✭ 🌈 ➵ 《 ASKS 》 ♡ #pro rq 🌈🍓 #radqueer #radqueer 🌈🍓 #rq 🌈🍓 #radq #radq safe #rqc 🌈🍓 #pro radq #🌈🍓 safe

[artystozka]

"It's not that deep" — the phrase on the internet I hate the most. Each time someone's trying to analyse some work of media there will be at least one person saying this trying to undermine the analysis. It's like people collectively stopped even trying to interpret the media. Which is rather sad. In my opinion, people crafting theories and trying to find a deeper meaning is one of the best parts of being in a fandom. You get to hear other people's opinions, look at the art piece under a different angle and notice things you might not have noticed before. Yes, maybe the creator didn't put any hidden meaning, maybe it is indeed "not that deep", but isn't it interesting to perceive something in a different light, to find things the artist might not have even thought about themselves? Now, where was I going with this? I don't remember. I had a point. Anyway, analysing media is fun, and I'm sick and tired of people trying to ruin this fun for others.

#Each day we stray further away from God. #Why can't people just mind their own business? #Maybe one day I'll learn to put my thoughts into coherent sentences. #But not today. #Random thoughts

[trimmedarmor]

doing the equivalent of gripping something intensely hard then forcing myself to let it go every time i see something about the stupid fandom drama i got pulled into earlier this year

#nothing bad ppl just... bringing up its existence...AGAIN...... #every time i see it i wanna go on a rant for a billion years but the worst place to do that would be on tumblr #I rly don't wanna see anyone talking abt it unless it's to criticize the ppl who started the false accusations or to apologize to us #for the harassment #Buster: You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go On the Internet and Tell Lies? #anyway I cant believe ive had the misfortune of interacting w some1 who has to b vindictive toward others to quell their own insecurity #to accuse us of racism because he wasn't allowed to be in a personal friends discord group... #and then saying that we didn't wanna let him in bc he wasn't a 'popular' account? 1. he has way more followers than some ppl in the server #hence why he was able to get so many ppl to attack us #2. he can't keep his own story straight. First we're racist then we're ableist then we gatekeep popularity? #Dude... we don't like you because you're vindictive and take minor slights way too personally...hence...everything that fucking happened #anyway idk who reported him but i thank them for it and i hope that was worth their account getting suspended for getting paid to harass us #to anyone outside of all this reading this mess... please question the validity of ppls accounts if they don't offer concrete proof #and the only proof is based on assuming that certain actions COULD POSSIBLY line up to the accusations #this includes if multiple people have the same accusation without proof because that's EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED #except it was dumber because several of their accusations literally contradicted themselves #wowww people apologized and informed their audience about possible microagressions once they were informed. they MUST be racist! #and if you don't want to dig into it that deep..then by all means mind your own damn business before you join in on someone else's witchhun

[chalkxtabletxtowers]

Me, liking a 2doc edit on tiktok and leaving a nice comment

Someone else: YOU KNOW THATS 2DOC RIGHT???

No, I actually thought they were platonically edited with a love song, thank you for enlightening me <3 /sarcasm

#why can't people just mind their own business lmao #i know why I'm commenting #leo says #gorillaz #2doc

[cinnamon-notes]

i snapped five times at work today :)

#twice at my boss #one was a “you're welcome for warning you about how highly utopian this thing is and if it doesn't work out dont blame me cuz i told you #in advance“ #the other was “you're welcome for reminding you of which things are legal and which ones are not. you're welcome for yelling at you until #you eventually understood why i was so mad and how much trouble you were getting yourself (and other people too) in“ #three times at THAT colleague of mine (yeah- the jerk!) #one was “fuck you. im not doing that only because you dont want to so you're making me do that boring task that YOU are supposed to do and #im not“ #one was “fuck you. you'd better mind your own business. you can't just go through other people's pockets and bags only cuz you felt like it” #one was “fuck you. you're not better than me only because your narcissism tells you that. im okay with being who i am. you dont need to #change me. you dont have to change me. you cannot change me. you must not change me. dont you dare to try to change me!“ #cinnamon at work

[sirenium]

Every time I try to veer away from discourse, I get reminded that people hate me for no reason elsewhere 💀

#like I just wanted a silly xenogender to put in my hoard and can you guess what was in the person's DNI?? #A. mspec lesbians or B. endogenic systems #have your answer? if you guessed B you'd be correct! congrats you win nothing! :D #why can't people just like #idk. chill about system origins and contradictory labels??? #it costs zero dollars to mind your own business 💀💀💀 #anyways #queer #xenogender #I would've stolen the flag but it wasn't THAT amazing tbh. they can keep it

[icedteaandoldlace]

Person on social media: So my cat is pregnant and—

Cat people in the comments: SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR FUCKING CATS!!!! And if she's your only cat, why was she allowed to go outside, huh?? Don't you know there's CARS and WILDLIFE outside??? Op clearly just wants their cat to die. You don't deserve to have any pets since you clearly don't care about them, and I hope someone takes her away from you and gives her a better life, you heartless monster.

#I follow a fat cat on Instagram and there's a disclaimer in her bio #explaining the health condition she has and that she IS on a diet and being well taken care of #because if that wasn't there her owners would probably get tons of comments accusing them of abuse/neglect #and they probably still do anyway #I'm in an FB group for people to post pics of their fat cats WITHOUT having to justify why they're fat #because people are tired of getting interrogated and shamed by strangers #and just wanted a space to share their pictures without fear of being dogpiled #everyone just needs to calm tf down and mind their own gd business #if someone is actively harming their pet or saying they don't vaccinate them THEN you can say something about it #but short of that if they didn't ask for your opinion don't give it #most people know to spay and neuter their pets but not everyone has gotten around to it yet and THAT'S OKAY #some people have barn cats or cats who were strays that they can't keep inside for whatever reason but still treat as a pet #and THAT'S okay too #just let people live jfc #the cat looks happy and loved to me

[lothiriel84]

"They don't realise that you've taken time out of your day to ruin theirs."

#Foil Arms and Hog #sketch #unsolicited advice #ah yes - the bane of my entire existence #why can't people just mind their own business and leave me alone #(and even worse - why do I need to argue my way out of following their advice?)

[illithiddies]

Hm. Having thoughts

#rant in tags just to get it off my brain. its personal shit not entirely bg3 shit. #but I think I've realized very suddenly that I've been pushing my own boundaries for the sake of companionship #and the irony is BITTER considering the character ive just spent the last month obsessed with. #and that this problem involves online spaces about said character. #i will absolutely give the bg3 fandom credit for handling topics like SA better than the star wars fandom ever did while I was in it. #i was so aggressive to defend my own space and peace of mind due to that and I pushed a lot of people away. I cut a lot of people off. #But then I wound up in spaces that ended up making me feel like I was walking on eggshells constantly for even just liking #certain characters or being too old. But now that im out of those spaces im just. fucking lonely man. #i miss having people to talk about fandom with. #i miss having people to bounce ideas off and enjoy hours long conversations about meta and story ideas. #i miss it so much. but i think as soon as i got into bg3 and dropped that defensiveness i think i left myself TOO open. #im too eager to insert myself into a spaces that im realizing very frequently go WAY the fuck past my comfort zone. #and obviously im minding my own business. even in the past i never sent hate. i just blocked and cut ties and moved on. #i can click out of a discord channel when i realize a topic isn't for me. #but my realization today is that im doing that so frequently that im wondering why im bothering at all? #why am i driven to befriend people if it's clear that their favored topics are ones I can't stomach? #I can acknowledge that im not mentally going to be safe in a space but why have I been forcing myself to ignore that? #i dunno it just. felt very strange to realize this suddenly #questlog

[teplavecernice]

apart from being a capitalist hellscape i think the thing i dislike the most about america and partially western europe is how normal it is for people to just talk to you out of nowhere. like if i was supposed to make smalltalk with the cashier everytime i went to a supermarket or if people asked me if i am okay when crying in public i think i would literally just die on the spot. and don't even get me started on the people who tell every alt-looking person that they need to accept the love of our lord and saviour jesus christ amen

#like bestie #why don't y'all mind your own business??? #and yes i know that it's normal for people who don't know each other to talk (to a degree) #and that we have just been bullied into social isolation by generational trauma and repressive governments #but bruh #im so used to people just minding their business or even looking the other way #i can't image what life is like when you are supposed to talk to people you don't even meaningfully interact with #this post was brought to you by me encountering a very talkative conductor

[asherasgayagenda]

i don't think tiktok kids and instagram girls are allowed to have an opinion on tumblr

#I'M SORRY??? #so fucking pissed rn #ma'am you did NOT just call tumblr “where all the racist people are” and “knock-off twitter” #sh.s shut up. #literally you spend you day scrolling mindlessly through curated short clips of other people's lives #goinhg to literally break something omg #i mean this /gen. but tumblr is actually so great #there's so much chaotic shit here it's not perfect and it's great why can't you just mind your own fucking business #is ashe rambling again #anyways. might delete #jsut sooo annoyed. #tumblr

[dmclemblems]

man, imagine just... letting people have their own opinions of gw and not making fun of people who did or didn’t enjoy it.

people in this fandom are so aggressive.

you can talk about your opinions and even hate or love as strongly as the human heart allows! just... don’t say things like “people are stupid for thinking xyz”. you do realize you may have mutuals or even friends following you that see that and are now apprehensive to talk to you, especially about this game, right? that you might be offending your own friends and acquaintances with insulting terminology and you don’t know a friend feels that way because they’re too anxious to even tell you now because you’ve made it clear that you think everyone with xyz opinion is some insulting and hurting term?

it’s one thing to say things like “this is the best/worst route between both games and I love/hate it more than anything”. it’s another to say something like “everyone who loves/hates gw is an absolute retard who didn’t understand claude’s character in houses in the first place if they loved/hated gw”.

no, I’m not quoting anyone specifically, but I’m trying to iterate to you an example of the sorts of things I’m seeing people saying as if under the assumption that every single person in their space agrees with them and that they’re not risking hurting someone with their words.

yeah, you can hate the route or love the route with every fiber of your being. I’m just personally not sure that’s worth being hateful toward every single other human being who has the opposite opinion as you, or worth making people apprehensive about checking their social media every day because they follow people who are very likely to insult entire groups of people based on their likes/dislike in a fictional universe.

like, yeah, I didn’t enjoy the second half of gw... but you know what’s cool? I’m still close friends with someone who liked it and feels the opposite way that I do about the writing and about claude.

#it sucks too bc I have mutuals on Twitter who will NOT stop talking about it #and going out of their way to point out every instance of their opinion while like #degrading the people who don't agree #at that point like mind your own business and talk about things that are fun??? stop getting mad at people for their opinions??? #it's really easy to go find something you enjoy on the damn internet it's like the easiest way ever lol #even when I just check regular tags for characters nowadays it's the same arguments #half or more of the content isn't the characters or fanart or anything like that anymore #it's just people arguing about stupid shit like okay we get it you do or don't like the writing in it #it doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to make other people feel bad about their opinion #it's one thing to discuss with people in your space (depending on which social media you use etc) #but to go out of your way or to outright insult people with the opposite opinion just makes you look like you're trying to start fights #when this game came out I wanted to remember it by being Billy's final work for his job and he did so so so good #and now it's hard to look at this game and think of it that way because I keep thinking of all the drama #it's still hard to listen to Ferdinand's lines and some more than others bc I was in Billy's streams a lot #so when I hear those things I tend to picture his face and it's still difficult for me. I still can't wrap my head around him being gone #and for two months at that now. I want to look at this game and think of the work he did and you know? if you don't that's fine #but it's hard for me to see it that way now when I just can't log on to ANYTHING on ANY day and see ANYTHING but arguing or like #people straight up insulting others and using offensive terms about people who didn't like something #like cool you loved/hated gw. wanna explain why you're tagging your hate for other people to see? would love to hear THAT explanation #it's kinda like how on Twitter I've had to block an obscene amount of people in the dmcl tags #bc they post the ship name i.e. a keyword in searches that will come up when fans look for content #and it's a bunch of offensive shit about the entire fanbase and how we're all disgusting people with shit opinions #and who don't enjoy the ship for actual context but apparently bc we just want to see two guys bang #imagine lumping an entire fandom of anything (ship character series etc) into an insulting and offensive box just bc YOU don't like it #or you had ONE bad experience with a fan of it so now you post hate in their search keywords instead of censoring it #so that it doesn't come up in someone's searches #literally how are you going to be prejudice about an entire group of shippers or character fans full of ppl you don't even KNOW? #and instead of talking to some of them to understand their reasoning you just post offensive shit in their searches/tags #this is the kind of shit I'm seeing with Hopes too which is why I'm mentioning it here

[hungerpunch]

can i rb your post about valtteri ? no hard feelings if you don't want

yeah that's fine! i'm sorry that i didn't leave anything above the cut for context, so you might want to tag/add warnings if you choose to do so.

as a general rule, you can reblog anything i ever post unless i tag it “my lyfe” or “do not rb”

#idk why i'm like actually so close to crying over this #maybe it's bc y'all pulled 500 reasons to not like him out of your ass before he left merc and now you're doing this too #he can't have anything according to some of you #when he is literally minding his own fucking business never starting shit never causing drama my god of all the people to pick on #and i think on a bigger level it just depresses me bc it's this unexamined bias in everyone's attraction to people #ask #anon #f1

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

#russ ballard #tonight #1981 #i was listening to the lyrics of this today and i can't stop laughing because #the imagined scenario it puts in my head #i imagine russ playing this in a club/bar or something #and from the stage he's looking at the audience #seeing these two random people and just instantly shipping them and imagining all of this himself #like the way some people will ship characters #and singing this song about them while they don't realize it #and his voice the way he's singing it is like #he's so #'THEY'RE GONNA MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!' #'THEY'RE GONNA GET IT ON' #on the edge of hsi seat if they so much as glance at each other #'SHE IS JUST A GLANCE AWAY COULD BE JUST A DANCE AWAY' #i just #i need this to be a music video for this please #even funnier if it never actually happens and he's getting so excited that 'THEY'RE GONNA MAKE IT' #when they do not even realize the other exists and don't care #in the lyrics they get together but in my mind's music video for it i want them to just be minding their own business #and have scenes where they ALMOST interact but don't and have him watching like “omg it's happening” and then it doesn't #and then the night is over and they go home their separate ways never crossing paths at all #despite russ on the sidelines screaming the whole time that they're gonna get together #JUST THE WAY HE SINGS THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME #i have a single tear streaming down my face from laughing i don;t know why i find this so funny

[paintedpineleaf]

okay this is so weird to me, some people are just randomly hating on taylor? like out of nowhere, no one asked or said anything to you but you felt the need to post about how you don't like her or whatever she's currently doing? why?

#like i get that it's your blog #but why are you needlessly hating on peoples' interests #why are you so desperate to yuck someone's yum #why can't you mind your own business and let people enjoy what they enjoy #bro #one blog posted a screenshot of the ttpd prologue like completely unwarranted #with some stuff about they couldn't understand any of what she was saying and how pretentious she was #(for using words you don't understand?) #and then posted their friends' asks about how they couldn't imagine the anons they were getting from swifties #yeah!!! #you're making fun of a group of people for enjoying something??? #why do you expect them to sit there and take it? #and then also just posting like #rumors and stuff you made up #as if its the whole factual truth #you expecting people to sit there and accept it because you don't like said group of people is your problem #us correcting you or even getting upset about something you're making up then making fun of us about doesn't make us the villains here #i want to understand the thought process there besides 'she's taylor swift' and 'they're swifties'