#why are they all English professors

[nerdpoe]

fucking shit here's another one

danny is heir apparent to the realms, and while he cannot be summoned as he has not been crowned yet, he can still receive gifts.

bear with me

as he is heir apparent, his will is mirrored by the infinite realms. so in the middle of English class, as he's staring at Mr. Lancer, his deep, resonating thought is

"Fuck man I don't get any of this, I need like, a really good English tutor."

meanwhile, in the batcave, constantine goes fucking rigid and stares at Red Hood, who he just knows that the High King wants for some reason or the other.

"Hood, were you aware that the High King of the Infinite Realms wants you handed to him on a silver platter?"

"What."

meanwhile all over the world English professors and teachers and straight A students are going missing and turning up in Amity of all places.

cultists are confused because like, normally the King of Death wants cheeseburgers and frenchfries, but now it wants people? weird but alright, they'll send over people they guess.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny phantom #batman #john constantine #mr lancer #danny is so confused #why are all these strange people showing up in amity #why are they all English professors #is clockwork doing this #is this clockwork being passive aggressive #danny tries to study hamlet harder but it's still dumb to him #he doesn't get it #one of the english professors notices him staring at the same page for thirty minutes #now they're trying to help #it's not helping #they're explaining shit on a college level #danny is not quite there #prompt

[furiosophie]

i know someone must have done this already but--

based on this post by @chaotic-kass

#dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #meowrpheus #cat!dream #yes i made hob a computer science professor #love the english and history professor headcanons #but also i think he'd make a real good computer science professor #bc in some roundabout way the progress the internet brought is out equivalent of the printing press #also i'm sure he would have very quickly realized that the thing that gives everyone access to every information at all times #is sth he should maybe keep an eye on #thus why not get into programming get ahead of the problem #with the potential to make a lot of money pretty anonymous too #keep his digital footprint in check #forge documents and images #you get it #anyway #id in alt text #soph arts

[lutiaslayton]

Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva

ＰＡＲＴ　１５

〚ＦＩＲＳＴ〛〚ＰＲＥＶ〛〚ＮＥＸＴ〛

Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation for the Japan-exclusive novellisation of the movie Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva. The original novel was written by Aya Matsui under the supervision of Akihiro Hino, and belongs to Level-5.

This translation only aims to be a pleasant read for non-Japanese fans, nothing more: I made a few deliberate changes while translating in order to get the writing style closer to what is usually found in English fanfictions, as the Japanese storytelling can sometimes be different than what we are used to.

☆ Melina Whistler

Yes…

I could remember it clearly.

The unparalleled sense of fear, of entrapment and desolation, when I was sent into the body of someone else…

I looked for a place to hide, but there was nowhere to.

Everything was cold… I could hardly breathe.

I couldn’t stay here! Please, someone let me out!

I screamed desperately, but no one could hear me.

I kept pleading to someone I couldn’t see.

Please, I don’t want to stay here either. But I can’t leave. I have to stay here…

“Melina—Is that you, Melina?”

I had heard a familiar voice.

I could hear… or rather, I could feel it.

I couldn’t see her, but I knew that Janice was close by.

“Janice…?”

“Melina! This is incredible. I can’t believe you are so close to me…”

“I’m sorry, Janice! I shouldn’t be here. I’ll disappear right now… Somehow, I’ll find a way to do that!”

“No, you can’t!”

“Janice!?”

“I’ve just found you again… Do you realise how much I missed you? How much I missed my best friend while you were gone…”

“But, Janice…”

“It’s okay, Melina… I can’t let you go on like this.”

Suddenly, I had felt something shifting.

The sense of fear and desolation disappeared…

“Janice!”

Her voice was moving away.

“This isn’t just for you. This is also for me. Melina, you may not understand, but the grief and suffering of those left behind is so strong…”

I know, Janice…

I had felt Papa’s grief and pain even after I had lost my body…

“You have to understand, Melina. Losing my best friend not once, but twice, would surely break my heart…”

Before I knew it, I was slowly becoming familiar with Janice’s body, as if guided by the waves of the sea.

I had been spoiled by her heartfelt friendship…

At that moment…

The sound of slow clapping brought me back to reality.

It was Descole. The man who had used Papa’s love for me to draw him into his evil ways…

“Excellent. I did not realise that the memory copying had been successful… So congratulations, Whistler, you’ve achieved your goal.”

It was no wonder that you hadn’t noticed, Descole. Someone like you would never understand Janice’s kindness, or the nobility of sacrificing oneself in order to keep others alive.

“Oh, oh my God…”

Poor Papa… He was completely confused.

I looked straight into his eyes. Papa… I needed him to understand my feelings.

“At some point, I started to realise that this was wrong. I can’t live my life at the expense of my friend.”

I told him my honest thoughts.

“It was you who wrote to me, wasn’t it?”

Professor Layton…

I… No, we both wrote that letter. Janice’s voice had become inaudible to me, but our hearts were still communicating.

“It was the right choice to choose you, Professor. I thought you would be able to stop Papa… Just like I wanted him to stop.”

Isn’t that right, Janice?

It was just as you told me before.

“There is no puzzle that Professor Layton can’t solve, Melina.”

“I can’t stay in her body forever… But as long as this device exists, Papa will continue to copy my memories.”

“Melina…”

Papa’s eyes… They were looking at me, not at Janice.

“I had heard a lot about the Professor from Janice. She admired you so much…”

I’m sorry, Janice… I said it.

As soon as you gave me your life, I had realised how much the professor meant to you…

When I first met him on the Crown Petone, I made my most cherished memories. The times when he solved puzzles… That time when we were talking on the beach… That time when we were riding that makeshift helicopter that we had built… I was never alone.

Papa’s voice was trembling.

“Melina, I… This was all for you…”

“Thank you, Papa… I appreciate how you feel. But, please… These horrendous things have to stop now.”

“I just couldn’t accept a life without my beloved daughter… So I…”

At that moment— The whole room was struck by a tremendous quake.

“Professor, the ceiling!”

With a roar, the ceiling above us was split in two, as we all stood under it in stunned shock.

Then Descole took my arm.

“Melina!”

In a flash, Descole ran up the stairs leading to the Detragan and set me down.

A pack of wolves popped out and surrounded everyone. They all let out a terrifying howl then stood menacingly, ready to pounce on anyone at any moment.

“What are you doing, Descole!?”

“I needed Melina’s memories to achieve my true goal,” he replied coldly, standing right next to me.

“Your true goal…?” Papa asked in confusion.

I was with him on this one… I had no idea what this was about either. What could he possibly need my memories for? What could that mean?

Descole twirled his cloak and pointed to the ceiling.

“The resurrection of Ambrosia!”

The ceiling was painted with the Ambrosian crest… The Kingdom of Immortality.

“It all started when I discovered their coat of arms in its entirety…”

Descole turned to the professor and sent him a condescending look.

“Layton, what do you think these symbols mean?”

The coat of arms had a design reminiscent of a king and queen, surrounded by a vast number of lines, dots and jagged patterns…

The professor soon gasped in realisation. “…It’s a music sheet!”

“Correct. A music sheet, written in the Ambrosian way.”

Descole walked over to the Detragan and reached for a sheet music.

“In other words, the coat of arms is inscribed with the first key required to open the door to Ambrosia: a song that could be called ‘A Song of the Stars.’”

“A ‘Song of the Stars’…!?” Luke repeated incredulously.

“The second key is you, Melina.”

I could not believe my ears. “Me… the second key?”

The resurrection of Ambrosia, keys to open a door… I did not understand.

“The first key alone was not enough to revive Ambrosia. This was when I realised that the crest also hinted at the existence of a second key…”

The professor instantly resonated. “The ‘Song of the Sea’!”

Descole slowly took my hand with an icy smile. His grip was just as cold as his face.

“The stars, and the sea. When the two melodies are combined, Ambrosia will be revived.”

“I didn’t realise… that he was after the kingdom itself,” Papa slowly shook his head in shame.

“Alas, by the time the puzzle of the crest had been solved… The only person who had an accurate memory of the second key could no longer sing…”

So that was what this was all about.

The ‘Song of the Sea’… It was the song that the sea around Ambrosia had taught me.

Ever since we had moved to this island so I could recuperate from my illness, I had spent every day gazing out at it. Walking along the beach, or standing on my balcony, with the feeling of the sea breeze embracing me…

It wasn’t long before I had become aware of the melody that the sea was bringing me.

The wind, blowing past the reefs jutting out from the shore, would sing the same song to me every day. The waves breaking onto the shore would add to the music, creating a pleasant harmony, like a small ensemble.

Soon, I had unconsciously began to hum that very beautiful and somewhat nostalgic melody. When the sea and the song were joined together, it had given me a sense of heartfelt sincerity. It was soothing… and it made me happy, as I felt surrounded by a shower of invisible music.

Descole put his hand on one of the Detragan’s levers.

“Even though some memories were left behind… I wanted a perfect copy, more than Whistler did!”

He pulled the lever. Immediately after, the staircase exploded and bright lights flashed on the wall.

The smoke from the explosion blocked my view.

　⇚　　　　　　　⇛

#professor layton #layton's book club #melina whistler #janice quatlane #oswald whistler #jean descole #hershel layton #eternal diva #eternal diva novel #translation #professor layton and the eternal diva #ayo this part was so WILD #This is why I'm transcribing this stuff. Japanese version cleared up SO many questions that the localisations brushed off. #like how the English & French dubs make it sound like all three songs were written on the Ambrosian seal #while in fact the original version explains that only the song of the stars (+ sun) + a drawing of the sea (+ sun) are there. #So basically it seems like we can deduce here a full timeline of how things went! #Step 1: Des steps foot on Ambrosia and discovers the first known instance of the complete crest. #Step 2: He figures out the Song of the Stars from the music sheet on the crest #and likely deduces that it's the key to reviving Ambrosia. #Step 3: He plays the song of the stars and it doesn't work. He looks at the crest again and sees the drawing of the sea. #He deduces that there is another key related to the sea. Somehow he figures out that there is only one person in the world who knows it. #(I have a hypothesis about the why and how but I'll leave that for later since this hypothesis lacks solid evidence.) #Step 4: Des figures out (somehow) that this “one person in the whole world” is Melina. #Step 5: Melina is sick so he uses that as an excuse to have the Whistlers move to Ambrosia and live inside the black castle he built. #His excuse for bringing them there is that the ocean breeze will do some good to her health. #Step 6: Melina is healthy enough to walk on the shore a few times and she notices that the sea sings to her. She learns the song of the sea #Unfortunately she is already too sick to sing it properly so Descole can't use her. And soon after that she dies. #Step 7: Des and Whistler had been prepared for that eventuality and copied her memories with the Detragan. So they just need a host for her #Des only was able to get his hands on the song of the sea when Melina learned it. And she never wrote it down before dying. #See the music sheet that Layton plays to Nina? It's the song of the sea. Sure. But it's incomplete. It only has the first half.

[the-lark-ascending69]

Oh god oh gosh oh my dear i am on the floor sobbing of lesbianism

#not to make my whole post about robin robin robin #but you know what i'm thinking. cos you're thinking it too #the dialogue music and delivery are all funny to me in this one idk why #i haven't watched enough of this miniseries to make a judgment but i have the feeling it might not be the best adaptation out there #though i dont really care about those things i'm just here for maya hawke #i will share my self-indulgent thoughts - the ''i need to tell you something'' and laurie immediately assuming it's her professor whom she #considers a friend #-> comphet Robin with jealous boyfriend Steve who thinks she has a weird thing with mr. Hauser (her gay english professor from the podcast) #comphet robin buckley #my posts #Youtube #in the woods somewhere au

[tardis--dreams]

Embarrassing being an adult and crying over not understanding your homework. I'm 28 years old. This is so fucking stupid

#why do i even care #it's not even like knowing old English grammar is going to help me at all in my life outside of this class #i don't get credit for this class at my home university #i don't even have to do well #i have literally 1000 other things i could worry or cry about #and yet #i feel like an 8 year old having to turn in a half empty answer sheet for homework #who's gonna get scolded and penalized for not having applied enough effort #(or you know a 13 year old or 16 year old or 18 year old #whatever. I'm not in school anymore and i don't have to care about what my professor thinks about me when i don't even #care about the topic/have other things to concentrate on) #also every fucking week i make the same mistake and wait until the day before class to prepare #and find out he's hidden some extra homework at the very end of his lecture #i should just not worry about it so much #who the hell cares #goddammit #void screams

[dudefrommywesterns]

OH MY GOD SO

classmate: this book has sapphic vibes

professor: sapphic, i haven't heard that one in a while. it was popular in the 70s.

me: they still use it on tumblr.

professor: who uses tumblr anymore?

me: I DO

professor: i used tumblr. i liked to use it as a commonplace book because it had no timestamps. don't stop using it because the old guy used it.

me: well, you know me.

#typewriter dings #anyway i was implied old fashioned by my pushing 60 english professor the other day. how are you all? #this is the same guy confused why i like dean martin lol

[necromancy-savant]

Who remembers the time in my first year back at college at a new school when, in my first ever Linguistics class, my professor asked me to research alternative terms for "penis" on Urban Dictionary?

@memey-dreams

#tagging my friend whom I met in that class hopefully he's still on here and remembers this assignment #I know he remembers our first day where the professor spoke all Romanian to us for an hour and gave us a Romanian lesson #I felt so smart that day ngl bc I clocked it in half a second #I was like this is a Romance language that looks kind of Slavic: must be Romanian #we all were speaking it really well though if I do say so myself #and with no instruction in English whatsoever #and then he came clean lol #oh anyway the conclusion of this story is that he had said specifically he would only give the word penis to guys and vagina to girls #and frankly he was making a lot of assumptions about my body and also my comfort level and so I begged #please don't make me look up penis on Urban Dictionary I already know where this is going #and he said ok why don't do meth instead? and I said yay thank you! :D #so the next class nobody else did meth though so I got put with a group doing weed and I named like 6 slang terms for weed #off the top of my head that I've heard people say all the time that they didn't already even have on their lists

[sailforvalinor]

The strange thing about the literature you’re forced to read in college is that your reaction to it is either “wow, this is such a hidden gem—why has no one ever told me about it before?” or “I want to throw this down the nearest well IMMEDIATELY,” and there is no in-between.

#I really don’t understand why some professors have a bias against reading enjoyable literature #like yes you do need to read hard things #but also you’re putting yourself at risk of burning out all of the students in your department on their major #like my first two years of college I couldn’t read for fun anymore #however! I never would’ve discovered my love for ts Eliot if not for my intro lit class #college #I wish I were European so I could call it uni because it sounds cooler #english major problems #literature #text post

[buysomecheese]

Very very stressed, so clearly time to cope by listening to dndads character playlists and trying to decide how they’d cope

#I’m also sick-ish so. not vibing. #on my Link playlist rn but may go to Meryl Streep or Nark #idk yet #anyways fuck English class idk how Grant liked that shit #this is why I love projecting onto TJ- we know Almost Nothing except that he subs for theater class #as far as I’m aware he’s a medical professor at the local college and just subs for theater recreationally #he’s got a 100% pass rate for his students even if he’s not there all the time (med students) #because he has Banger free tutoring sessions #maybe he reached pre-med idk I’m not in college yet #he’s not at Med School just Teaches Medicine #but yea he’s such a blank canvas he’s just like me #went through a ‘I hate my parent(s)!’ phase and came out respecting them (but of course there’s still Tension because Duh) #is always second place/side character to best friend(s) (namely Nicky in this case) #gets along really well with said best friend and their bf (Nark) #likes Science And Theater (shut up I said so) #recovering therapist friend #I can do whatever I want with him and he doesn’t even care. he doesn’t even know. #I love him so much #I need to take a shower jeez

[hey-op-just-kill-me]

Lmk how two of my professors are going to assign research papers the day before break and then make them due the day we get back.

#they’re like ‘what it’s not like you have classes to worry about it’s plenty of time’ as if people want to research and write 10 page papers #in the one week that we have off #like have I done anything productive this week? no. but that’s not the point #the point is breaks shouldn’t be for professors to assign more fucking work #like if my professors can still leave work from months ago ungraded then why the fuck do I have to hand everything in on time?? #my English professor legit said he didn’t understand my paper I’m writing for his class but that’s because he has yet to give any response #like he said it wasn’t well organized #I’m sorry maybe that’s because you’re trying to get my whole point from an outline and I was giving you a general FUCKING OUTLINE you won’t #see how point A reaches point C because you want this to be 10 pages and only to have 3 points #Istg I go back Tuesday and all I’m going to do until then is my assignments #all I’ve done up to this point is catch up on sleep that I didn’t have because I wake up and get on a train at 6am #sorry I love college it’s great (ehh) but sometimes it’s just like

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

you know what. i did just realize this professor might be a little cheryl blossom voice queerphobic and i’m about to roll up to her class to talk about the gay little matt damon movie. again really banking on the one group member being one of her favorites to help here

#i don’t like. have any evidence to support thinking she might be homophobic it’s just energy #like one of those people that’s like fake supportive but doesn’t actually care whether gay people like. have rights #again just vibes just her energy #you know how. you’ll be in a class where you have to read a script of some kind out loud and the teacher is ‘casting’ you all #and they’ll be like really strict about the gender of the people they pick to read each role even when it doesn’t matter #that’s this lady’s deal #this also happened in ninth grade creative writing #this did NOT happen in ninth grade english when i was picked to read for either romeo ben olio or mercutio every single class we read r&j #that was chill that teacher literally was just like ok so this dyke wants to be romeo sure why not let her. real queen #also did not happen in 12th grade english when i was the macbeth to my friend’s lady macbeth in our brilliant staging of act two scene 2 #i do still remember some of those lines actually #literally what hands are here ha they pluck out mine eyes will all great neptune’s ocean ever be enough to wash this blood clean from my han #hands no this my hand will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine making the green one red #or whatever. paraphrasing #post got away from me what was i taking about. oh yeah my professor might be homophobic. well. hope she’s not lol! #beth.txt

[honeybittersweet]

Hiiiii, update on my guy crush from college. Said hi to him this morning and felt NOTHING, I thought I was gonna be a bit more excited? But nothing, it was meh. So yeah, completely over him, I was probably just bored and liked the idea of him. I still like his voice tho.

#🪷.abi #i was going out the buffet with my hands busy. he was coming in. he was like (my name) hi! how's it going? long time no see! #and i was like hi! all good. wby? him: all good! #it was boring #went outside and talkes to a friend in common for a while before going back in to try and order lunch for later #i saw him waiting at the administration. i thought it was for the same I went a few days prior #(bc we share a class on fridays and some of us had trouble signing up for it. the professor sent us there. #turned out we didn't have to go there at all. luckily I got it done on Tuesday) #anyways i walked into the administration to tell him where he had to go if he had the same problem but chickened out last second #bc what if he was there for something else? and i was just snooping in?????? no thx #i walked out before he realized and and went back to class #when he got to class later he talked to the ????? teacher's assistant????? idk the name for that in english. sorry. #so i think he did have the same problem #i like the idea of him more from afar #he's very participant in class and i really like his voice tone but i don't feel comfortable anymore idk why #that's something else! i've been feeling kind of anxious and gotten embarrassed quite quickly lately. #i feel like my words aren't as sharp as before and i don't feel comfortable with it #these tags are badly redacted and have a lot of misspellings probably. i'm tired

[tardis--dreams]

Writing a wall of text getting hit with a moment of introspection which has you asking yourself 'babe, do you even have a Point??' to which you must admit. You don't know anymore

#academic misery #babe please #why do you need to explain the history of aviation language and the reasons why English was chosen as the international standard #and not Esperanto. is it really adding anything valuable to your thesis? or are you just. rambling?? #i don't think we need to include why the icao was founded and in how many languages their manuals are translated #it is not relevant #please no babe listen to me. it's the same as with politeness. we don't need to cover all the potential perspectives #it is impossible. no babe you also do not need to explain the cooperative principle in detail. your target audience is #two linguistics professors #yes i know it hurts. but. leave stuff out. #yeah no everything is going really well #I'll finish that lit. review today and move on to some actual work i swear

[sapphicjigsaw]

girl as someone going through some of that stuff as well no that stuff is not something everyone has and people are generally usimg 'the horrors' to mean like chores and things no one enjoys doing not. mental and or physical illnesses </3

I have learned recently I maybe have to do something about my debilitating mental illness and physical body deterioration. Unfortunately the horrors have decided I cannot do anything right now and should instead start shaking so hard I can’t read. And then pass out.

#<3 thanks for reaching out I really really like hearing from you #god why does existence have to be a constant struggle #and then also school on top of that??? #like how do I tell my English professor ‘sorry I can’t turn in my draft friday. I stopped running and the horrors caught me.’ #sorry but everything I spent so long stacking up around me to keep myself from pilling on top of me is falling cause apparently the floor #tilts slightly towards me in every direction and something got so high it could no longer stand and everything else is falling around it #im trying to catch the important things I really am but it’s all falling at the same time and it hurts to stand under it and I’m so tired #so that being said how does an extension to Wednesday sound I’m sure I’ll figure everything out by then #and I still have all my other classes to do #side order save me #<3 again thankies for reaching out <<33!! sorry for concerning extended metaphor in the tags <3 #(all of that is genuine I am not being sarcastic I appreciate you so much and you are so cool to me)

[bog-horse]

anyway cheers to two of my profs for making me dread the semester before it even starts

#par the course i guess #parr? #anyway. #relying on my english prof to be there for me in these trying times #at least i know him and know i like him #my geo prof seems cool too #bones does college #why are the worst professors always history professors??? #i have only ever had one actually good outstanding hist prof in my life and it was at my first semester at my community college #and she changed my entire life on a dime #i owe her my degree #but like. goddamn. why do they all seem to suck

[bipaulinadlm]

what if simone/manuel was haunting the narrative

(aka there are worms in my brain)

The past coming back to haunt you (to set the scene): DANTE (episode 2): Perché il passato ci segue. Ciò che abbiamo vissuto, le cose per cui abbiamo sofferto vivono nel nostro presente, sempre. (Because the past follows us. All we've lived, the things we've suffered for, they always live on in the present. VIRGILIA (episode 5): Non si può lasciare il proprio passato in sospeso, perché prima o poi ritorna e ti chiede il conto. (You can't leave your own past hanging over you, because sooner or later it comes around demanding an explanation.)

Things that repeat, not least among them: a. "Hai una cotta per uno che non ti pensa" (Manuel to Simone s2) vs "Tu hai perso la testa per uno che manco te se incula" (Simone to Manuel s1); b. Simone getting drunk at a party because Manuel hurt him; c. Simone's feelings for both Manuel and Mimmo leading to him helping with criminal activities; d. Conversation By The Pool; e. Anita & Dante getting together being the ending of both seasons, to which Manuel and Simone say this:

(episode 12) (What are they doing, starting over? / What do I know? I have no clue.)

Parallel universes + source material (or, what if you were two characters in a story that's been told before and you should be fated for each other, but for whatever reason you're not):

(Episode 6) (MANUEL: Do you ever think about parallel universes? / SIMONE: No. Do you? / MANUEL: Yeah, sometimes I wonder what my life would be like there.)

(An image of the scene in Merlí where Bruno and Pol are about to get married)

In conclusion:

(episode 12) (SIMONE: Have you what horrible tricks destiny plays? / MANUEL: I have. / SIMONE: It seems like a bad dream.)

So basically, what if you were two people trapped in a TV show and somewhere there's a world where you're fated for each other, but it's not this one, but you can't help running through the same moments again and again, and you can't keep the past from coming back to haunt you, and the narrative hates you so bad, and either everything goes wrong or you're not yourself.

#me watching this show's writing go from bad to worse: but what if it was a metanarrative commentary (it is not) #'lu why is this all in english when this show is in italian' you think i have the skills to put this together fully in italian? no i do not #un professore #t #'are you like.... doing okay' honestly great question why did i just spend like 45 minutes doing this #ciliegie #i don't even like. i'm not even serious about this ship anymore i liked mimmo i want him & simone back together so bad #i just kept hearing pieces of dialogue and being like. Christ it's like the writers are Consciously Writing This Relationship Haunting #The SHow #particularly the scene by the pool & the 'brutti scherzi' thing. Bro. Bro it's not 'il destino' it's la RAI we gotta get you #OUT of there!!!!!!!